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I 


THE  LOEB  CLASSICAL  LIBRARY 

FOUKDED  BY  JAMES  IXtEB,  liL.D. 

EDITED  BY 
G.  P.  GOOLD,  PH.D. 

FORMEB  EDITOBS 

t  T.  E.  PAGE,  C.H.,  LiTT.D.         t  E.  CAPPS,  ph.d.,  ii.D. 
t  W.  H.  D.  ROUSE,  LITT.D.        t  L.  A.  POST,  l.h.d. 
E.  H.  WARMINGTON,  m.a.,  f.b.hist.soc. 


PLAUTUS 
IV 


260 


P  L  A  UT U  S 

WITH  AN  ENGLISH  TRANSLATION  BY 

PAUL   NIXON 

DKAK  OF  BOWDODf  COLUDOB,   MAin 


IN  FIVE  VOLUMES 
IV 


THE  LITTLE  CARTHAGINIAN 
PSEUDOLUS 
THE  ROPE 


T^r 


CAMBRIDOE,    MASSACHUSETTS 

HARVARD  UNIVERSITY  PRESS 

LONDON 

WILLIAM  HEINEMANN  LTD 

MCMLXXX 


American  ISBN  0-674-99286-5 
British  ISBN  0  434  99260  7 

First  printed  1932 
Reprinted  1951,  1959,  1965,  1980 


v'Xn^ 


V  Wbb 


Printed  in  Great  Britain  by 
Fletcher  d-  Son  Ltd,  Norwich 


CONTENTS 

I.     Poenulus,  or  The  Little  Carthaginian  page     1 

II.    Pseudolus  144 

III.     Rudens,  or  The  Rope  287 

Index  437 


THE  GREEK  ORIGINALS  AND  DATES  OF 
THE  PLAYS  IN  THE  FOURTH  VOLUME 

In  the  Prologue^  of  the  Poenulus  we  are  told 
that  the  Greek  name  of  the  comedy  was  Kapx^Sdvios, 
but  who  its  author  was — perhaps  Menander — or  who 
the  author  of  the  play  which  was  combined  with  the 
Kap;^8ovios  to  make  the  Poenulus  is  quite  uncertain. 
The  time  of  the  presentation  of  the  Poenulus  at 
Rome  is  also  imcertain :  Hueffner  ^  believes  that  the 
capture  of  Sparta  '  was  a  purely  Plautine  reference 
to  the  war  with  Nabis  in  195  b.c.  and  that  the 
Poenulus  appeared  in  194  or  193  b.c. 

The  date,  however,  of  the  Roman  presentation 
of  the  Pseudolus  is  definitely  established  by  the 
didascalia  as  191  b.c.  Geographical  and  mihtary 
allusions  in  the  play  make  the  year  309  b.c.  or  308 
B.C.*  a  probable  time  for  the  production  of  its  Greek 
original.  But  whether  the  Greek  play  was  written 
by  Menander,  Philemon,  or  someone  else  is  doubtful. 

1  Poen.  Prol.  53. 

*  Hueffner,  De  Plauti  Comoediarum  Exemplis  AUicia,  34-35. 
»  Poen.  663-665. 

*  Cf.  Hueffner,  11-16 

vii 


THE  GREEK   ORIGINALS 

The  Rudens  was  adapted  from  a  play  of  unknown 
title  by  Diphilus.^  Warfare  in  Sicily  made  it 
unlikely  that  Labrax  would  have  been  tempted  to  try 
business  there  ^  either  before  the  island  came  under 
the  control  of  Agathocles,  or  after  the  death  of 
Agathocles.  Gripus'  ambition,  also,  to  found  a  regnum 
magnum,^  like  the  successors  of  Alexander  the  Great, 
seems  to  HuefFner*  additional  evidence  that  the 
original  of  the  Rudens  was  presented  between  303 
and  290  b.c.  The  Rudens  itself  appears  to  have  been 
first  staged  between  200  and  190  B.C. 

1  Rud.  Prol.  32. 

a  Mud.  Prol.  54-56;  cf.  641. 

»  Rud.  935. 

«  Hueftner,  67. 


VUl 


SOME   ANNOTATED    EDITIONS    OF    PLAYS 
IN  THE  FOURTH  VOLUME 

Pseudolus,  Auden ;  Cambridge,  Cambridge  Univer- 
sity Press,  1896. 

Pseudolus,  Lorenz ;   Berlin,  Weidmann,  1876. 

Pseudolus,  Morris ;  Boston,  Allyn  and  Bacon,  1890. 

Rudens,  Marx ;  Leipzig,  Hirzel,  1928. 

Rudens,  Sonnenschein ;  Oxford,  Clarendon  Press, 
1901. 


POENULUS 

OR 

THE   LITTLE  CARTHAGINIAN 


AKGVMENTVM 
Puer  septuennis  surripitur  Carthagine. 
Osor  mulierum  emptum  adoptat  hunc  senex 
Et  facit  heredem.     deinde  eius  cognatae  duae 
Nutrixque  earum  raptae.     mercatur  Lycus, 
Vexatque  amantem.     at  ille  cum  auro  vilicum 
Lenoni  obtrudit,  itaque  euin  furto  alligat. 
Venit  Hanno  Poenus,  gnatum  hunc  fratris  repperit 
Suasque  adgnoscit  quas  perdiderat  filias. 

PERSONAE 
Agorastocles  adulescens 

MiLPHIO   SERVUS 

AdelphasivmI 

.  } PUELLAE 

Anterastilisj 
Lycvs  leno 
Antamonides  miles 
Advocati 

CoiXYBISCVS   VILICU3 
SyNCERASTVS   SERVUS 

Hanno  Poenus 

GiDDENLS    NUTRIX 

Pver 


ARGUMENT  OF  THE  PLAY 

A  seven-year-old  boy  was  kidnapped  from  Car- 
thage. An  old  woman-hater  purchased  this  boy, 
adopted  him,  and  made  him  his  heir.  Later  two 
of  the  boy's  relatives,  girls,  were  stolen,  and  their 
nurse  with  them.  Lycus  buys  them  and  torments 
the  young  lover.  But  the  lover's  bailiff  with  a  bag 
of  gold  is  fubbed  off  upon  the  pimp,  so  implicating 
him  in  theft.  Hanno  the  Carthaginian  arrives, 
finds  the  lover  to  be  his  nephew,  and  recognizes 
his  long-lost  daughters. 


DRAMATLS  PERSONAE 

Agorastocles,  a  young  gentleman  of  Calydon. 

MiLPHio,  his  slave. 

AdelphasiumI     •  1    1        ,,  ,     T 

Akterastilis)^'^^^  ^^  ^  ^y"^'- 

Lycus,  a  pimp. 

Antamonides,  a  soldier. 

Coxwsellors,  acquaintances  of  Agorastocles. 

CoLLYBiscus,  bailiff  of  Agorastocles. 

Syncerastus,  slave  of  Lycus. 

Hanno,  a  gentleman  of  Carthage. 

Giddenis,  nurse  of  Adelphasium  and  AnierastiUs. 

A  Slave  Boy,  belonging  to  Hanno. 


PROLOGVS 

Achillem  Aristarchi  mihi  commentari  lubet : 
inde  mihi  principium  capiam,  ex  ea  tragoedia. 
"  sileteque  et  tacete  atque  animum  advortite, 
audire  iubet  vos  imperator" — histricus, 
bonoque  ut  animo  sedeate  in  subselliis, 
et  qui  esurientes  et  qui  saturi  venerint : 
qui  edistis,  multo  fecistis  sapientius, 
qui  non  edistis,  saturi  fite  fabulis ; 
nam  cui  paratumst  quod  edit,  nostra  gratia 
nimia  est  stultitia  sessimi  impransum  incedere.  10 

Exsurge,  praeco,  fac  populo  audientiam. 
iam  dudum  exspecto,  si  tuom  officium  scias : 
exerce  vocem,  quam  per  vivisque  et  ^  colis. 
nam  nisi  clamabis,  tacitum  te  obrepet  fames, 
age  nunc  reside,  duplicem  ut  mercedem  feras.* 

Bonum  factumst,  edicta  ut  servetis  mea. 
scortum  exoletum  ne  quis  in  proscaenio 
sedeat,  neu  lictor  verbvun  aut  virgae  muttiant, 
neu  dissignator  praeter  os  obambulet 
neu  sessmn  ducat,  dum  histrio  in  scaena  siet.  20 

diu  qui  domi  otiosi  dormierunt,  decet 
animo  aequo  nunc  stent,  vel  dormire  temperent. 
servi  ne  obsideant,  liberis  ut  sit  locus, 
vel  aes  pro  capite  dent ;  si  id  facere  non  queunt, 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   vales  Geppert. 

*  Leo  notes  lacuna  here :  factumst  Pylades :  bonum  factum 
ease  MSS. 


Scene  : — Calydon.     A  street  in  which  stand  the  houses 
of  Agorastocles  and  Lycus. 

PROLOGUE 

I  have  a  mind  to  imitate  Aristarchus'  Achilles. 
Aye,  I  shall  take  my  exordium  from  that  tragedy. 
{grandiloquently)  "  Silence !  Hush  ye,  and  turn 
hither  your  attention !  Hearken !  'Tis  the  com- 
mand of  the  general  " — {chuckling)  manager  of  this 
troupe  who  wants  you  to  sit  in  your  seats  with 
good  cheer,  both  those  who  have  come  here 
famished  and  those  who  have  come  here  full.  You 
that  ate  showed  much  more  sense ;  you  that  ate 
not,  eat  your  fill  of  show.  For  a  man  with  a  meal 
before  him,  because  of  us,  to  stalk  in  and  sit  here 
empty,  is  more  than  foolish. 

(loudly)  Crier !  Rise  and  bid  this  crowd  give  ear ! 
I  have  long  been  waiting  to  see  if  you  knew  your 
duty.  Exercise  that  voice  that  lets  you  Hve  and 
flourish.  For  unless  you  bellow,  you'll  silently 
starve  away,  {after  the  Crier  has  vainly  tried  to 
quiet  the  house)  There  now,  sit  down,  if  you  want 
your  pay  doubled ! 

{to  audience  ironically)  So  good  of  you  to  observe 
my  edicts  !  {nnih  high  authoritativeness)  Let  no  well- 
ripened  wanton  take  seat  upon  the  stage,  nor  lictor 
murmur,  or  his  rods,  nor  usher  ramble  around  in 
front,  or  show  a  seat,  while  an  actor  is  on  the 
boards.  Those  who  have  stayed  too  long  at  home 
in  idle  sleep  should  now  stand  in  patience,  or  else 
sleep  in  moderation.  Let  no  slaves  crowd  in,  but 
leave  room  here  for  free  men,  or  else  pay  cash  for 
manumission;  in  case  they  cannot,  let  them  go 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

domum  abeant,  vitent  ancipiti  infortunio, 

ne  et  hie  varientur  virgis  et  loris  domi, 

si  minus  curassint,  quom  eri  reveniant  domum. 

nutrices  pueros  infantis  minutulos 

domi  ut  procurent  neu  quae  spectatum  adferat, 

ne  et  ipsae  sitiant  et  pueri  pereant  fame  30 

neve  esurientes  hie  quasi  haedi  obvagiant. 

matronae  tacitae  spectent,  tacitae  rideant, 

canora  hie  voce  sua  tinnire  temperent, 

domum  sermones  fabulandi  conferant, 

ne  et  hie  viris  sint  et  domi  molestiae. 

Quodque  ad  ludorvun  euratores  attinet, 
ne  pakna  detur  quoiquam  artifici  iniuria 
neve  ambitionis  causa  extrudantur  foras, 
quo  deteriores  anteponantur  bonis, 
et  hoc  quoque  etiam,  quod  paene  obUtus  fui :  40 

dum  ludi  fiunt,  in  popinam,  pedisequi, 
inruptionem  facite ;  nunc  dum  occasio  est, 
nunc  dum  seribhtae  aestuant,  occurrite. 

Haec  quae  imperata  sunt  pro  imperio  histrico, 
bonum  hercle  factum  pro  se  quisque  ut  meminerit. 

Ad  argumentum  nunc  vicissatim  volo 
remigrare,  ut  aeque  mecum  sitis  gnarures. 
eius  nunc  regiones,  Hmites,  eonfinia 
determinabo  :   ei  rei  ego  finitor  factus  smn. 
sed  nisi  molestumst,  nomen  dare  vobis  volo  50 

comoediai ;  sin  odiost,  dicam  tamen, 
siquidem  Hcebit  per  illos  quibus  est  in  manu. 
Carchedonius  vocatur  haec  comoedia,^ 
latine  Plautus  Patruus  Pultiphagonides. 
nomen  iam  habetis.     nunc  rationes  ceteras 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here :  comoedia  graece,  latine  P.  P- 
Ritschl. 


PROLOGUE 

home  and  shun  a  twofold  catastrophe — rod  welts 
here  and  whip  welts  there,  if  their  masters  come 
back  home  to  find  their  work  undone.  And  nurses, 
let  nurses  attend  to  their  tiny  brats  at  home,  let 
not  one  bring  them  to  this  play,  for  the  nurses  may 
get  dry  and  the  children  starve  to  death,  or  go 
maamaaing  here  for  food  like  so  many  young  goats. 
Matrons  are  to  view  this  play  in  silence,  laugh 
in  silence,  temper  here  their  tuneful  chirping, 
take  their  prittle-prattle  home,  and  not  be  a  nui- 
sance to  their  husbands  here  as  well  as  there. 

Now  for  what  concerns  the  Directors  of  the 
games — let  no  artist  gain  the  palm  unfairly,  let 
none  be  crowded  out  through  partiality,  so  allow- 
ing worse  men  to  supplant  their  betters.  Yes,  and 
another  matter,  which  I  had  almost  forgotten — 
lackeys,  while  the  show  is  on,  storm  the  bakeshop ! 
Now  while  you  have  the  chance,  now  while  the 
tarts  are  hot,  charge ! 

These  be  the  general  orders  issued  for  the 
general-management,  and  'twill  be  well,  by 
heaven,  that  each  man  remember  them  for  him- 
self. 

Now  I  \^'ish  to  revert  again  to  the  Argument  of 
this  play,  that  you  may  be  as  well  informed  as  I 
am.  Its  bounds,  Umits,  and  confines  I  shall  now 
determine  :  I  have  been  selected  as  its  surveyor. 
But  if  you  do  not  object,  I  wish  to  give  you  the 
name  of  this  comedy ;  of  course,  if  you  do  object, 
I  shall  tell  you  anyway — that  being  duly  authorized 
by  those  in  charge.  It  is  called  Carckedonius, 
Plautus  giving  it  the  Latin  title  of  Uncle  Papeater.^ 
There  you  have  its  name.     Now  let  me  make  the 

^  PuUiphagonides  may  refer  to  Flaatos,  the  Latin  title 
being  Patruiu. 

7 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

accipite ;  nam.  argumentum  hoc  hie  censebitur : 
locus  argumentost  suom  sibi  proscaenium, 
vos  iuratores  estis.     quaeso,  operam  date. 

Carthaginienses  fratres  patrueles  duo 
fuere,  summo  genere  et  sunimis  ditiis ;  60 

eorum  alter  vivit,  alter  est  emortuos. 
propterea  apud  vos  dico  confidentius, 
quia  mihi  pollictor  dixit  qui  eum  pollinxerat. 
sed  illi  seni  qui  mortuost,  ei  filius, 
unicus  qui  fuerat,  ab  divitiis  a  patre 
puer  septuennis  surripitur  Carthagine, 
sexennio  prius  quidem  quam  moritur  pater. 

Quoniam  periisse  sibi  videt  gnatum  unicum, 
conicitur  ipse  in  morbum  ex  aegritudine  : 
facit  ilium  heredem  fratrem  patruelem  suom,  70 

ipse  abit  ad  Acheruntem  sine  viatico. 
ille  qui  surripuit  puerum  Calydonem  avehit, 
vendit  eum  domino  hie  diviti  quoidam  seni, 
cupienti  liberorum,  osori  mulierum. 
emit  hospitalem  is  filium  imprudens  senex 
puerum  ilium  eumque  adoptat  sibi  pro  filio 
eumque  heredem  fecit,  quom  ipse  obiit  diem, 
is  illic  adulescens  habitat  in  illisce  aedibus. 

Reverter  rursus  denuo  Carthaginem : 
si  quid  mandare  voltis  aut  curarier,  80 

argentum  nisi  qui  dederit,  nugas  egerit ; 
^  qui  dederit,  magis  maiores  nugas  egerit. 

Sed  illi  patruo  huius,  qui  vivit  senex, 
Carthaginiensi  duae  fuere  filiae, 
altera  quinquennis,  altera  quadrimula: 
cum  nutrice  una  periere  a  Magaribus. 

^  Leo  brackets  varum  preceding  qui. 

^  So  termed  throughout  the  play,  though  really  a  cousin 
of  Agorastocles'  father. 

*  A  park  outside  Carthage. 
8 


PROLOGUE 

rest  of  my  report,  for  this  Argument  is  to  be 
e.^-^mined  here  like  an  Income  Tax  Return :  the 
office  at  which  to  submit  a  Return  on  Argument 
is  its  owTi  stage,  and  you  are  the  Commissioners. 
Your  attention,  please. 

There  were  two  Carthaginian  cousins,  of  distin- 
gui  .hed  family  and  fortune  ;  one  of  them  is  living, 
the  other  is  deceased.  I  make  this  statement  to 
you  with  the  more  assurance,  because  it  was  made 
to  me  by  the  undertaker  who  did  his  undertaking. 
But  the  son,  the  one  and  only  son,  of  that  old 
gentleman  who  died  was  stolen  away  from  his 
affluent  home  in  Carthage  and  from  his  father  when 
he  was  a  seven-year-old  boy,  this  occurring  six 
years  before  his  father's  death. 

Seeing  that  his  only  son  was  lost  to  him,  the 
father  fell  sick  from  grief;  he  made  that  cousin  his 
heir  and  departed  unto  Acheron,  without  funds  for 
the  trip.  The  man  who  stole  the  boy  carried  him 
to  Calydon,  and  sold  him  as  a  slave  to  a  certain  rich 
old  man  here  who  longed  for  children  but  hated 
women.  This  old  man  bought  the  lad  without 
knowing  that  he  was  the  son  of  a  family  friend 
of  his,  adopted  him,  and  made  him  his  heir  on 
his  own  demise.  And  that  house  there  (pointing) 
is  the  residence  of  this  young  man. 

I  now  intend  to  take  another  trip  to  Carthage : 
anyone  of  you,  with,  commissions  or  affairs  for  me 
to  attend  to,  must  supply  me  with  cash,  or  it  will 
do  him  no  good ;  if  he  does  supply  it,  it  will  do  bim 
a  great  deal  less  good. 

Well,  our  lad's  Carthaginian  uncle,^  still  alive  but 
old,  had  two  daughters,  one  five  years  of  age,  the 
other  four:  along  with  their  nurse  they  disap- 
peared completely  from   Magara.'    The  person 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

eas  qui  surripuit,  in  Anactorium  devehit, 

vendit  eas  omnis,  et  nutricem  et  virgines, 

praesenti  argento  homini,  si  leno  est  homo, 

quantum  hominum  terra  sustinet  saeerrumo.  90 

vosmet  nunc  facite  conieeturam  ceterum, 

quid  id  sit  hominis,  cui  Lyco  nomen  siet. 

is  ex  Anactorio,  ubi  prius  habitaverat, 

hue  commigravit  in  Calydonem  hau  diu, 

sui  quaesti  causa,     is  in  illis  habitat  aedibus. 

Earum  hie  adulescens  alteram  efflictim  perit, 
suam  sibi  cognatam,  imprudens,  neque  scit  quae  siet 
neque  eam  umquam  tetigit,  ita  eum  leno  macerat :  ^ 
quia  amare  cernit,  tangere  hominem  volt  bolo.  101 

illam  minorem  in  concubinatum  sibi 
volt  emere  miles  quidam,  qui  illam  deperit. 

Sed  pater  illarum  Poenus,  postquam  eas  perdidit, 
mari  terraque  usquequaque  quaeritat. 
ubi  quamque  in  urbem  est  ingressus,  ilico 
omnes  meretrices,  ubi  quisque  habitant,  invenit; 
dat  aurum,  ducit  noctem,  rogitat  postibi 
unde  sit,  quoiatis,  captane  an  surrupta  sit, 
quo  genere  gnata,  qui  parentes  fuerint.  110 

ita  docte  atque  astu  filias  quaerit  suas. 
et  is  omnis  linguas  scit,  sed  dissimulat  sciens 
se  scire :   Poenus  plane  est.     quid  verbis  opust  ? 

Is  heri  hue  in  portum  navi  venit  vesperi, 
pater  harunc ;  idem  huic  patruos  adulescentulo  est : 
iamne  hoc  tenetis  ?   si  tenetis,  ducite ; 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  99-100  : 

neque  quicquam  cum  ea  fecit  etiamnum  stwpri 
neque  duxit  umquam,  neque  ille  voluit  mittere. 


^  Lycus,  "  wolf." 

•  Vv.  99-100  :  Nor  has  he  ever  had  intercourse  with  her,  or 
taken  her,  nor  has  the  pimp  been  willing  to  send  her  to  him. 


PROLOGUE 

who  stole  them  took  them  to  Anactorium,  and  all 
three  of  them,  both  nurse  and  girls,  he  sold,  cash 
down,  to  a  man — if  a  pimp  be  a  man — who  is  the 
most  consummate  scoundrel  that  the  earth  sus- 
tains. Now  guess  for  yourselves  what  sort  of  man 
he  is  in  general,  when  his  very  name  is  Lycus.^ 
This  Lycus  left  Anactorium,  where  he  had  been 
hving,  and  immigrated  here  to  Calydon  not  long 
ago  to  ply  his  trade.  That  is  his  house  there. 
(j)ointing) 

One  of  these  girls  our  young  gentleman  dotes 
on  to  distraction — unaware  that  she  is  a  relative 
of  his — without  either  knowing  who  she  is,  or  ever 
having  touched  her,  the  pimp  so  keeps  him  on  the 
rack : '  perceiving  how  he  loves  her,  he  wants  to 
make  a  haul.  As  for  the  younger  sister,  a  certain 
soldier  is  infatuated  with  her  and  wants  to  buy  her 
as  his  mistress. 

But  their  Carthaginian  father  ever  since  they 
disappeared  has  kept  searching  for  them  every- 
where by  sea  and  land.  On  reaching  any  city,  he 
at  once  hunts  up  all  the  harlots  at  their  homes ; 
he  pays  his  money,  hires  one  for  the  night,  and 
then  inquires  where  she  is  from,  what  country, 
whether  she  was  captured  in  war  or  kidnapped, 
who  her  family  and  parents  were.  In  this  shrewd 
and  ingenious  way  he  seeks  his  daughters.  He 
knows  all  languages,  too,  but,  knowing,  dissembles 
his  knowledge.  A  Carthaginian  complete !  Why 
say  more  ? 

This  last  evening  he  sailed  into  harbour  here, 
the  father  of  these  girls  (pointing  to  the  house  of 
Lycus)  ;  and  likewise  the  uncle  of  our  young  gentle- 
man {indicating  the  house  of  Agorastocles)  here. 
Have  you  got  it  ?     If  you  have  got  it,  pull ;  but 

II 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

cave  dirumpatis,  quaeso,  sinite  transigi. 
ehem,  paene  oblitus  sum  relicuom  dicere. 
ille  qui  adoptavit  hunc  sibi  pro  filio, 
is  illi  Poeno  huius  patruo  hospes  fuit.  120 

is  hodie  hue  veniet  reperietque  hie  filias 
et  hunc  sui  fratris  fihum,  ut  quidem  didici  ego. 
Ego  ibo,  ornabor ;   vos  aequo  animo  noscite. 
hie  qui  hodie  veniet,  reperiet  suas  filias 
et  hunc  sui  fratris  filium.     dehinc  ceterum 
valete,  adeste.     ibo,  alius  nunc  fieri  volo : 
quod  restat,  restant  alii  qui  faciant  palam. 
valete  atque  adiuvate,  ut  vos  servet  Salus, 


13 


PROLOGUE 

do  be  sure  not  to  break  it  off;  let  it  come  to  the 
grand  finale,  {turns  to  go,  then  stops)  Ah,  but  I 
almost  forgot  to  tell  you  the  rest.  That  gentle- 
man, who  adopted  this  lad  as  his  son — he  was 
once  the  family  friend  of  the  boy's  Carthaginian 
uncle.  To-day  this  uncle  will  arrive  here  and 
here  discover  his  daughters  and  this  nephew,  so 
I  have  learned. 

Well,  I  must  go  and  get  into  my  costume. 
Follow  our  plot  patiently,  [nnth  increased  emphasis) 
The  Carthaginian  who  arrives  to-day  will  discover 
his  daughters  and  this  nephew,  (about  to  go)  Now 
then,  fare  ye  well  and  stand  by  us.  I  am  going: 
I  must  now  become  another  man.  As  for  what 
remains,  others  remain  to  make  it  clear.  Fare  ye 
well  and  show  us  favour,  that  so  Salvation  may 
keep  you  safe.  [exit. 


'3 


ACTVS  I 

Ag.         Saepe  ego  res  multas  tibi  mandavi,  Milphio, 

dubias,  egenas,  inopiosas  consili,  130 

quas  tu  sapienter,  docte  et  cordate  et  cate 

mihi  reddidisti  opiparas  opera  tua. 

quibus  pro  bene  factis  fateor  deberi  tibi 

et  libertatem  et  multas  grates  gratias. 
Mil.        Scitumst,  per  tempus  si  obviamst,  verbum  vetus. 

nam  tuae  blanditiae  mihi  sunt,  quod  dici  solet, 

gerrae  germanae,  aal  Se  KoXXvpai  Xvpai. 

nunc  mihi  blandidicus  es  :  heri  in  tergo  meo 

tris  facile  corios  contrivisti  bubulos. 
Ag.         Amans  per  amorem  si  quid  feci,  Milphio,  140 

ignoscere  id  te  mi  aequom  est. 
Mil.  Haud  vidi  magis. 

em,  nunc  ego  amore  pereo.    sine  te  verberem, 

item  ut  tu  mihi  fecisti,  ob  nullam  noxiam : 

post  id  locorum  tu  mihi  amanti  ignoscito. 
Ag.         Si  tibi  lubido  est  aut  voluptati,  sino : 

suspende,  vinci,  verbera ;  auctor  sum,  sino. 
Mil.       Si  auctoritatem  postea  defugeris, 

ubi  dissolutus  tu  sies,  ego  pendeam. 

14 


ACT  I 

ENTER  Agoraslocles,  tremulous  and  hysterical, 

CLINGING   TO    MUpkio's   UNWILLING   ARM. 

{pleadingly)  Oh,  Milphio,  many's  the  affair  I've 
entrusted  to  you  time  and  again  when  all  looked 
dark  and  forlorn  and  eounselless,  and  you,  with 
your  wisdom  and  cleverness  and  sagacity  and 
shrewdness,  have  turned  them  into  triumphs  for 
me.  And  for  all  these  kindnesses  I  ovm  that  I 
owe  you  your  liberty,  yes,  and  endless  thanks- 
giving and  thanks. 

(coldly)  When  an  old  phrase  fits  the  occasion  it's 
well  used.  Why,  all  this  blarney  you're  giving  me 
is  nothing  but  pure  piffle,  as  they  say,  rien  que  belles 
balivemes.  Now  you  blameybait  me :  yesterday 
you  wore  out  three  ox-hides  on  my  back  and  it 
didn't  bother  you  a  bit. 

(on  the  verge  of  tears)  I'm  in  love,  Milphio,  and  if 
my  love  makes  me  do  anything,  you  ought  to 
overlook  it. 

(tvith  asperity)  Yes,  of  course !  See  here !  Now 
I'm  in  love  myself,  dying  of  it.  Just  let  me  beat 
you  the  same  as  you  did  me,  all  for  nothing  at  all : 
and  afterwards,  I  being  in  love,  you  overlook  it. 
(humbly)  If  you  find  any  joy  or  pleasure  in  it,  I  do 
let  you.  Hang  me  up,  bind  me,  beat  me;  I 
authorize  you,  I  let  you. 

But  if  you  evade  authority  later  on  when  you're 
loose,  I'd  be  the  one  hung  up. 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ag.         Egone  istuc  ausim  facere,  praesertim  tibi  ? 

quin  si  feriri  video  te,  extemplo  dolet.  150 

Mil.        Mihi  quidem  hercle. 
Ag.  Immo  mihi. 

Mil.  Istuc  mavelim. 

sed  quid  nunc  tibi  vis  ? 
Ag.  Cur  ego  apud  te  mentiar  ? 

amo  immodeste. 
Mil.  Meae  istuc  scapulae  sentiunt. 

Ag.         At  ego  hanc  vicinam  dico  Adelphasium  meam, 

lenonis  huius  meretricem  maiusculam. 
Mil.        lam  pridem  equidem  istuc  ex  te  audivi. 
Ag.  Differor 

cupidine  eius.     sed  lenone  istoc  Lyco, 

illius  domino,  non  lutumst  lutulentius. 
Mil.       .Vin  tu  illi  nequam  dare  nunc  ? 
Ag.  Cupio. 

Mil.  Em  me  date. 

Ag.         Abi  dierectus. 
Mil.  Die  mihi  vero  serio :  160 

vin  dare  malum  illi  ? 
Ag.  Cupio. 

Mil.  Em,  eundem  me  date : 

utrumque  faxo  habebit,  et  nequam  et  malum. 
Ag.         locare. 
Mil.  Vin  tu  illam  hodie  sine  ^  dispendio 

tuo  tuam  libertam  facere  ? 
Ag.  Cupio,  Milphio. 

Mil.        Ego  faciam  ut  facias,    sunt  tibi  intus  aurei 

trecenti  nummi  Philippi } 
Ag.  Sescenti  quoque. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  damno  et. 
i6 


POENULUS 

Ag.         Would  I  be  capable  of  doing  that,  especially  to 

you  ?     Why,  the  moment  I  see  you  get  a  blow,  it 

hurts. 
Mil.       Yes,  by  gad,  hurts  me. 
Ag.         No,  no,  me ! 
Mil.        That  would  be  my  preference.     But  what  d'ye 

want  now  ? 
Ag.         (despairingly)  Why  should  I  he  to  you?     I'm  in 

love,  beyond  all  self-control ! 
Mil.        (dryly)  My  shoulder  blades  surmise  as  much. 
Ag.         But  with  the  girl  next  door,  I  mean,  (indicating 

Lycus'     house)     my     Adelphasiimi,     this     pimp's 

courtesan,  the  one  a  little  older. 
Mil.        (rvearily)   Lord,    Lord!     I   heard   that   from   you 

long  ago. 
Ag.         (sobbing)  I'm   in   torment,    I   want   her   so!     But 

that  pimp  Lycus  she  belongs  to,  oh  dear,  he's 

dirty  as  dirt ! 

Want  to  give  him  something  now  he'll  hate  ? 

(hopeful)  I  long  to  ! 

All  right !  (grinning)  Give  him  me. 

Oh,  go  to  the  deuce ! 

Tell  me  in  sober  earnest :  do  you  want  to  give  him 

something  he'll  regret  ? 
Ag.         (hopeful  again)  1  long  to ! 
Mil.       All  right!     Give  him  this  same  me.     He'll  have 

something  he'll  hate  and  regret  both,  I  promise  you. 
Ag.         You  joker !  (weeps) 
Mil.        (surveying   him   thoughtfully)  Want   to   make   that 

girl  your  freedwoman  to-day  without  its  costing 

you  a  thing  ? 
Ag.         (through  his  tears)  I  long  to,  Milphio ! 
Mil.        (confidently)  I'm  the  man  to  n.anage  it.     Have  you 

got  three  hundred  pounds  inside  there  ? 
Ag.        Yes,  and  six  hundred. 

«7 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Mil.        Satis  sunt  trecenti. 

Ag.  Quid  iis  facturu's  ? 

Mil.  Tace. 

totum  lenonem  tibi  cum  tota  familia 

dabo  hodie  dono. 
Ag.  Qui  id  facturu's  ? 

Mil.  lam  scies. 

tuos  Collybiscus  nunc  in  urbest  vilicus ;  170 

eum  hie  non  novit  leno.     satin  intellegis  ? 
Ag.         Intellego  hercle,  sed  quo  evadas  nescio. 
Mil.        Non  scis  ? 
Ag.  Non  hercle. 

Mil.  At  ego  iam  faxo  scies. 

ei  dabitur  aurum,  ut  ad  lenonem  deferat 

dicatque  se  peregrinum  esse,  ex  alio  oppido : 

se  amare  velle  atque  obsequi  animo  sue ; 

locum  sibi  velle  liberum  praeberier, 

ubi  nequam  faciat  clam,  ne  quis  sit  arbiter. 

leno  ad  se  accipiet  auri  cupidus  ilico  : 

celabit  hominem  et  aurum. 
Ag.  Consilium  placet.  180 

Mil.        Rogato,  servos  veneritne  ad  eum  tuos. 

ille  me  censebit  quaeri :  continuo  tibi 

negabit.     quid  tu  dubitas,  quin  extempulo 

dupli  tibi  auri  et  hominis  fur  leno  siet  ? 

neque  id  unde  efficiat  habet :  ubi  in  ius  venerit, 

addicet  praetor  familiam  totam  tibi. 

ita  decipiemus  fovea  lenonem  Lycum. 
Ag.         Placet  consilium. 
Mil.  Immo  etiam,  ubi  expolivero, 

magis  hoc  tum  demum  dices  :  nunc  etiam  rudest. 
^8-         ^S^  ^^  aedem  Veneris  eo,  nisi  quid  vis,  Milphio.        190 

Aphrodisia  hodie  sunt. 

^  A  festival  of  Venus. 


POENULUS 

Three  hundred's  plenty. 

What  are  you  going  to  do  with  it  ? 

Hush!     This  day  you  shall  get  the  pimp  entire 

with  his  entire  household  as  a  gift  from  me. 

How  will  you  do  it  ? 

You'll  soon  know.     Your  bailiff  GDllybiscus  is  in 

the  city  now :  this  pimp's  unacquainted  with  him. 

Understand,  do  you  ? 

(somewhat  dazed)  I   understand,  yes,  yes — but  I 

don't  know  what  you're  aiming  at. 

{contemptuous)  You  don't,  eh  ? 

Really,  I  don't. 

Well,  I'll  soon  let  you  know.     Hell  be  given  the 

money,  so  as  to  carry  it  to  the  pimp's,  saying  he's 

a  stranger,  from  another  town.     He'll  say  he  wants 

a  girl  and  a  good  time ;   wants  a  nice  quiet  place 

pro\-ided  where  he  can  enjoy  himself  privately 

without   being   observed.     "The   pimp '11  be   keen 

for   the   money   and   hurry   him   into   his   house. 

{triumphantly)  He'll  be  concealing  man  and  money ! 

{half-heartedly)  Very  good  scheme. 

Then  you  ask  him  if  your  slave  is  at  his  house. 

He'll  suppose  it's  me  you're  after :  so  hell  promptly 

say  no.     Can  you  doubt  he  will  forthwith  be  liable 

to  you  for  twice  the  value  of  the  money  and  the 

slave  he  stole?    And  he  hasn't  the  wherewithal 

to  settle.     When  he  comes  to  court  the  praetor 

will  adjudge  his  entire  estabUshment  to  you.     So 

there's  pimp  Lycus  lured  into  our  pitfall. 

(restless)  Very  good  scheme. 

Ah,  but  you  wait  till  I  have  it  polished  up,  and 

then  youll  say  so  all  the  more;    it's  crude   as 

yet. 

I'm  going  to  the  temple  of  Venus,  if  there's  nothing 

you  want,  Milphio.     This  is  Aphrodisia  ^  day. 

19 


TITUS   MACGIUS   PLAUTUS 

Mil.  Scio. 

Ag.  Oculos  volo 

meos  delectare  munditiis  meretriciis. 
Mil,        Hoc  primum  agamus  quod  consilium  cepimus. 

abeamus  intro,  ut  Collybiscum  vilicum 

banc  perdoceamus  ut  ferat  fallaciam. 
Ag.         Quamquam  Cupido  in  corde  vorsatur,  tamen 

tibi  auscultabo. 
Mil.  Faciam  ut  facto  gaudeas. 

inest  amoris  macula  huic  homini  in  pectore, 

sine  damno  magno  quae  elui  ne  utiquam  potest. 

itaque  hie  scelestus  est  homo  leno  Lycus,  200 

quoi  iam  infortuni  intenta  ballistast  probe, 

quam  ego  baud  multo  post  mittam  e  ballistario. 

sed  Adelphasium  eccam  exit  atque  Anterastilis. 

haec  est  prior,  quae  meum  erum  dementem  facit. 

sed  evocabo.     heus,  i  foras,  Agorastocles, 

si  vis  videre  ludos  iucundissimos. 
Ag.  Quid  istuc  tumultist,  Milphio  ? 

Mil.  Em  amores  tuos, 

si  vis  spectare. 
Ag.  O  multa  tibi  di  dent  bona, 

quom  hoc  mi  optulisti  tarn  lepidum  spectaculum. 
I.  2. 
Ad.         Negoti  sibi  qui  volet  vim  parare,  210 

navem  et  mulierem,  haec  duo  comparato. 

nam  nullae  magis  res  duae  plus  negoti 

habent,  forte  si  occeperis  exornare,^ 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  214: 

negue  umquam  satis  hae  duae  re3  ornaniur. 


^  V.  214  :  Nor  are  these  two  things  ever  fitted  out  sufScientlj, 
20 


POENULUS 

I.        {curily)  I  know. 

{languishingly)  I  •«'ish  to  gladden  my  eyes  with  the 
sweet  costumes  of  the  courtesans. 

[.        (impatient)  Let's   get   started  on  this  scheme  of 
ours  first.     Let's  go  in  and  instruct  bailiff  Colly- 
biscus  how  to  play  his  part  in  it. 
{tvith  pained  resolution)  Though   Cupid's   busy   in 
my  heart,  no  matter,  obey  you  I  will. 

[exit  into  his  house. 

I.  (calling  after  him)  111  make  you  glad  you  did  do  so. 
(soliloquizing)  This  chap  has  a  love-spot  in  his  chest 
that  simply  can't  be  eradicated  except  at  high 
cost.  So  it's  this  villainous  pimp  Lycus  I  now 
have  my  barb  of  bale  well  aimed  at,  and  a  little 
later  I'll  let  fly  from  my  barbican,  (as  the  pimp's 
door  opens)  Aha !  But  here  come  Adelphasium, 
and  AnterastiUs !  (to  audience)  It's  this  first  one 
(pointing)  that's  driving  my  master  mad.  But  I'll 
call  him  out.  (goes  to  his  door)  Hey,  Agorastocles ! 
Come  on  out,  if  you  want  to  see  a  gorgeous  show ! 

E>rTER  Agorastocles. 
Why  the  uproar,  Milphio  ? 
I.       (pointing)  "There's  your  lady  fair,  if  you  want  to 
inspect  her. 
4g.         (rapturous)  Oh,  God  give  you  every  blessing,  for 
bringing  me  a  spectacle  so  lovely !   (draws  Milphio 
back  into  the  doorway) 

Scene  2.      enter  Adelphasium  and  AnterastiUs,  a  maid 

CARRYING    THEIR    OFFERINGS. 

Ad.  (surveying  herself  irritably)  A  man  that  wants  to 
make  himself  a  world  of  trouble  should  get  himself 
a  ship  and  a  woman,  just  those  two.  For  no  two 
things  can  possibly  be  more  troublesome,  if  you 
happen  to  try  to  fit  them  out,^  and  as  for  fitting 

21 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

neque  eis  ulla  ornandi  satis  satietas  est. 

atque  haec,  ut  loquor,  nunc  domo  docta  dico. 

nam  nos  usque  ab  aurora  ad  hoc  quod  diei  est,^ 

ex  industria  ambae  numquam  concessamus 

lavari  aut  fricari  aut  tergeri  aut  ornari,  220 

poliri  expoliri,  pingi  fingi ;  et  una 

binae  singulis  quae  datae  nobis  ancillae, 

eae  nos  lavando  eluendo  operam  dederunt, 

aggerundaque  aqua  sunt  viri  duo  defessi. 

apage  sis,  negoti  quantum  in  muliere  una  est. 

sed  vero  duae,  sat  scio,  maxumo  uni 

poplo  cuilubet  plus  satis  dare  potis  sunt, 

quae  noctes  diesque  omni  in  aetata  semper 

ornantur,  lavantur,  tergentur,  poliuntur, 

postremo  modus  muliebris  nullust :  numquam  230 

lavando  et  fricando  scimus  facere  finem.^ 

Ant.        Miror  equidem,  soror,  te  istaec  sic  fabulari, 
quae  tam  callida  et  docta  sis  et  faceta. 
nam  quom  sedulo  munditer  nos  habemus, 
vix  aegreque  amatorculos  invenimus. 

Ad.         Ita  est.     verum  hoc  unum  tamen  cogitato  : 

modus  omnibus  rebus,  soror,  optimus  est  habitu. 
nimia  omnia  nimium  exhibent  negoti  hominilxis  ex 
se. 

4nt.        Soror,  cogita,  amabo,  item  nos  perhiberi  240 

quam  si  salsa  muriatica  esse  autumantur : ' 
nisi  multa  aqua  usque  et  diu  macerantur, 
olent,  salsa  sunt,  tangere  ut  non  velis. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  218: 

posiquam  aurora  inluxit,  numquam  concessamus. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  232: 
nam  quae  laufa  est  nisi  perculta  est,  meo  quidem  aninw 

quasi  inluta  est. 
■  Leo  brarkets  following  v.,  242 : 

fine  omni  lepore  et  sine  suavitate. 

22 


POENULUS 

them  out  sufficiently  to  suffice,  it  can't  be  done. 

In  sapng  so  I  speak  from  late  experience  of  my 

ow-n.     Why,  from  the  very  peep  of  daw-n  until 

this  moment  ^  we've  both  of  us  incessantly  kept 

at  it,  being  bathed  or  rubbed  or  dried  or  bedecked, 

prinked   and   pranked,    made   up  and    done   up. 

Yes,  and  we  each  had  two  maids  that  helped  with 

the  bathing  and  scouring,  and  we  tired  out  two 

men   with   water-carrying.      Don't   talk   to   me! 

The   trouble    one    woman   makes!     But   two!     I 

really  do  believe  a  whole  community,  big  as  you 

please,  can  be  kept  more  than  busy  by  two  women 

with  their  nightly,  daily,  lifelong,  and  eternal  need 

of  being  bedecked,  bathed,  dried,  and  prinked. 

The  golden  mean,  in  short,  means  not  a  tiling  to 

women.     Our    bathing    and    rubbing — we    don't 

know  enough  to  end  it,  ever  !  ^ 

{complacently    adding  jinal    touches    to    her    toilet) 

Really,  sister,  I'm  surprised  at  such  nonsense  from 

a  shrewd,  sensible,  clever  girl  like  you.     Why,  for 

all  our  care  to  be  well  gotten  up,  even  so,  it's  hard 

enough  to  find  any  loverlings. 

That's  so.  But  just  the  same,  do  consider  this  one 
fact:  moderation  in  all  things  is  the  best  policy, 
my  dear.  "  All  excess  breeds  trouble  in  excess." 
{still  prinking)  Now,  now,  sister,  just  you  consider 
this:  we  girls  are  judged  like  pickled  fish  that's 
pronounced  too  salty :  ^  without  lots  and  lots  of 
water  and  long  soaking,  they're  so  rank  and  salt 
that  you  don't  want  to  touch  them.     That's  the  way 

^  V.  218 :  Ever  since  daybreak  we  have  never  ceased. 

•  V.  232 :  Why,  if  a  woman  isn't  smartly  dressed,  too, 
being  immaculate  is  no  better  than  being  dirty,  that's  what 
T  think. 

'  V.  242 :  Quite  without  attraction  and  without  sweet- 
ness. 

»3 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

item  nos  sumus^ 

insulsae  admodum  atque  invenustae 
sine  munditia  et  sumptu. 
Mil.        Coqua    est    haec    quidem,    Agorastocles,    ut    ego 
opinor : 

seit  muriatica  ut  maceret. 
Ag.  Quid  molestu's  ? 

Ad.         Soror,  parce,  amabo :  sat  est  istuc  alios  250 

dicere   nobis,   ne   nosmet  in   nostra   etiam   vitia 
loquamur. 
Ant.        Quiesco. 
Ad.  Ergo  amo  te.     sed  hoc  nunc  responde 

mihi :  sunt  hie  omnia 

quae  ad  deum  pacem  oportet  adesse  ? 
Ant.  Omnia  accuravi. 

Ag.         Diem  pulchrum  et  celebrem  et  venustatis  plenum, 

dignum  Venere  pol,  quoi  sunt  Aphrodisia  hodie. 
Mil.        Ecquid  gratiae,  quom  hue  foras  te  evocavi  ? 

iam  num  me  decet  donari 

cado  vini  veteris  ?  die  dare,     nil  respondes  ? 

lingua  huic  excidit,  ut  ego  opinor.  260 

quid  hie,  malum,  astans  opstipuisti  ? 
Ag.  Sine  amem,  ne  opturba  ac  tace. 

Mil.        Taceo. 

Ag.  Si  tacuisses,  iam  istuc  taceo  non  gnatum  foret. 

Ant.        Eamus,  mea  soror. 

Ad.  Eho  amabo,  quid  illo  nunc  properas  ? 

Ant.  Rogas  ? 

quia  erus  nos  apud  aedem  Veneris  mantat. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  245=> : 

eius  seminis  mulieres  sunt. 

^  V.  245* :  Women  are  of  the  same  stock. 
24 


POENULUS 

with  us :  1  we're  quite  unappetizing  and  unattrac- 
tive unless  we  take  good  and  expensive  care  of 
ourselves. 

(aside  to  Agorastocles)  This  girl's  a  cook,  Agoras- 
tocles,  a  cook,  I  do  believe :  knows  all  about  soaking 
pickled  fish. 

(intent  on  Adelphasium)  WTiy  bother  me  ? 
Now,  now,  sister,  that's  enough.     It's  sufficient  to 
have  other  people  tell  us  such  things  without  our 
talking  against  ourselves  too. 
(still prinking)  I'll  stop. 

That's  nice  of  you,  dear.     But  answer  me  this  now : 
is  everything  here  (pointing  to  the  offerings)  that  we 
need  in  order  to  gain  the  favour  of  the  gods  ? 
I've  seen  to  everything. 

(aside,  beatified)  Oh  beautiful  day,  festal  and  lovely, 
ah,  day  worthy  of  that  Queen  of  Love  whose 
Aphrodisia  it  is ! 

(aside  to  Agorastocles)  Don't  I  get  a  little  something 
for  calhng  you  out  here."*  A  cask  of  old  wine 
would  be  a  proper  present  now,  eh?  Say  so. 
(Agorastocles  gazes,  unhearing)  No  answer?  He 
has  lost  his  tongue,  I  do  believe,  (kissing  iit 
Agorastocles'  ear)  What  the  devil  makes  you  stand 
here  stupefied  ? 

(still  rapt)  Leave  me  to  my  love  and  don't  distract 
me !  Hush ! 
(drawling)  Hushed. 

(dreamily)  If  you  had  hushed,  that  very  "  hushed  " 
would  have  been  unborn. 

Come,  sister  mine,  let's  be  going,     (moves  on) 
(stopping  her)  But,  my  dear  girl!    Why  hurry  there 
now? 

You  ask  me  that?  Because  master's  awaiting  us 
at  the  temple  of  Venus. 

«5 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ad.  Maneat  pol.  mane. 

turba  est  nunc  apud  aram.     an  te  ibi  vis  inter  istas 

versarier 
prosedas,  pistorum  arnicas,  reliquias  alicarias, 
miseras  schoeno  delibutas  servolicolas  sordidas, 
quae  tibi  olant  stabulum  statumque,  sellam  et  sessi- 

bulum  merum, 
quas  adeo  hau  quisquam  umquam  liber  tetigit  neque 

duxit  domum, 
servolorum  sordidulorum  scorta  diobolaria  ? 
Mil.        I  in  malam  crucem.    tun  audes  etiam  servos  spernere, 
propudium  ?    quasi   bella   sit,   quasi   eampse   reges 

ductitent, 
monstrum  mulieris,  tantilla  tanta  verba  funditat, 
quoius  ego  nebulai  cyatho  septem  noctes  non  emam. 
Ag.  Di   immor tales   omnipotentes,   quid    est   apud   vos 

pulchrius  ? 
quid  habetis  qui  mage  immortales  vos  credam  esse 

quam  ego  siem, 
qui  haec  tanta  oculis  bona  concipio  ?  nam  Venus  non 

est  Venus : 
banc   equidem   Venerem   venerabor,   me   ut   amet 

posthac  propitia. 
Milphio,  heus,  ubi  es  ? 
Mil.  Assum  apud  te,  cecum. 

Ag.  At  ego  elixus  sis  volo. 

Mil.        Enim  vero,  ere,  facis  delicias. 

Ag.  De  tequidem  haec  didici  omnia. 

Mil.        Etiamne  ut  ames  cam  quam  numquam  tetigeris  ? 
Ag.  Nihil  id  quidemst : 

deos  quoque  edepol  et  amo  et  metuo,  quibus  tamen 
abstineo  manus. 
Ant.        Eu  ecastor,  quom  ornatum  aspicio  nostrum  ambarum 
paenitet 
exornatae  ut  simus. 

26 


POENULUS 

Well,  let  him  wait,  (as  Anterasiilis  rebels)  Wait! 
The  altar's  crowded  now.  You  surely  don't  want  to 
mingle  there  -with  those  common  prostitutes,  mis- 
tresses of  millers,  spelt-mill  leavings,  wretched,  slat- 
ternly, slavehng  courters,  plastered  with  poor  per- 
fumery, that  smell  of  pothouse  and  profession,  things 
of  stool  and  chair,  creatures  that  no  free  man  ever 
touched  or  took  home,  tuppenny  sluts  of  scimmiy 
slavehngs  ? 

{aside,  ireful)  You  go  to  hell !  You  dare  to  scorn 
slaves,  you,  you  outrage  ?  You'd  think  she  was  a 
beauty,  you'd  think  she  had  kings  taking  her  out, 
to  hear  her  pour  forth  that  big  talk,  the  little  scare- 
crow !  I  wouldn't  give  a  cupful  of  fog  for  seven 
nights  with  her ! 

(aside)  Oh,  ye  inmiortal  gods  omnipotent !  What 
have  ye  more  beauteous  than  she  ?  What  have  ye 
that  should  make  me  deem  you  more  immortal  than 
myself  whose  eyes  enjoy  these  wondrous  blessings  ? 
Ah,  'tis  not  Venus  who  is  Venus  !  This,  this,  is  the 
Venus  I  shall  venerate,  that  she  may  then  look  on 
me  with  love  and  favour !  Milphio !  Ho !  Where 
are  you  ? 

(^saur)  Here  I  am,  by  ^  you. 
(fatuous)  Buy  you?     But  I'd  rather  sell^  you. 
Well,  well,  here  you  are,  sir,  cracking  jokes ! 
It's  from  you  I  learned  it  all. 

So  ?  Learned  to  love  this  girl  you've  never  touched  ? 
What  of  that  ?     I  love  and  revere  the  gods,  too,  by 
Jove,  and  still  keep  hands  off  them. 
Heigh-ho !   Dear  me,  when  I  look  at  the  things  we 
two  have  got  on,  our  get-up  makes  me  sick. 

1  Assum  (roasted)  and  dixiu  (boiled). 

n 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ad.  Immo  vero  sane  commode ; 

nam  pro  erili  et  nostro  quaestu  satis  bene  ornatae 

sumus. 
non    enim    potis    est    quaestus    fieri,    ni    sumptus 

sequitur,  scio, 
et  tamen  quaestus  non  consistet,  si  eum  sumptus 

superat,  soror. 
eo  illud  satiust,  satis  quod  habitu,  haud  satis  est 
quod  plus  quam  sat  est. 
Ag.  Ita  me  di  ament,  ut  ilia  me  amet  malim  quam  di, 

Milphio. 
nam  ilia  mulier   lapidem   silicem   subigere,  ut   se 
aniet,  potest.  290 

Mil.        Pol  id  quidem  hau  mentire,  nam  tu  es  lapide  siliee 
stultior, 
qui  banc  ames. 
Ag.  At  vide  sis,  cum  iliac  numquam 

limavi  caput. 
Mil.        Curram   igitur   aliquo  ad  piscinam  aut  ad  lacum, 

limum  petam. 
Ag.         Quid  eo  opust  ? 

Mil.  Ego  dicam :  ut  illi  et  tibi  limem  caput. 

Ag.  I  in  malam  rem. 

Mil.  Ibi  sum  equidem. 

Ag.  Perdis. 

Mil.  Taceo. 

Ag.  At  perpetuo  volo. 

Mil.        Enim  vero,  ere,  meo  me  lacessis  ludo  et  delicias 

facis. 
Ant.        Satis    nunc   lepide   ornatam   credo,    soror,   te   tibi 
viderier ; 
sed  ubi  exempla  conferentur  meretricum  aliarum,  ibi 

tibi 
erit    cordolium,    si    quam    ornatam    melius    forte 
aspexeris. 

28 


POENULUS 

It  shouldn't,  it's  quite  all  right.    Why,  we're  got 

up  well  enough  for  master's  income  and  our  own. 

Of  course  I  know  no  income's  possible  \\ithout 

attendant  outlay,  but  there  11  be  no  income  showing, 

sister,  if  outlay  outstrips  income.     So  having  enough 

is  enough  and  to  spare ;  more  than  enough  is  less 

than  enough. 

{aside  to  Milpkio)  Lord  love  me,  Milphio,  I'd  rather 

have  her  love  than  that  of  the  Lord  himself !     Why, 

that  girl  can  force  love  out  of  flint. 

Gad !  And  that's  no  lie,  for  no  flint's  as  foolish  as 

you,  that  love  her. 

(too  engrossed  to  notice  the  remark)  But  just  bear  this 

in  mind — never  yet  have  I  bemired  her  loveliness. 

Then  I'll  be  off  to  a  fish  pond  or  pool  somewhere  and 

look  for  mire. 

(again  intent  on  Adelphasium)  WTiat  for  ? 

For  this — to  bemire  the  pair  of  you. 

Oh,  go  to  hell ! 

(coming  closer)  That's  where  I  am,  sir. 

Pest! 

I'm  dumb. 

Eternally,  I  hope. 

Well,  well,  here  you  are,  sir,  challenging  me  at  my 

own  game  and  cracking  jokes. 

Your  things  seem  nice  enough  to  you  now,  sister, 

I  daresay ;   but  when  you  make  comparisons  with 

the  other  girls,  then  you  11  feel  bad,  if  you  happen 

to  notice  anyone  with  better. 

39 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ad.         Invidia  in  me  numquam  innatast  neque  malitia,  mea 

soror.  300 

bono  me  esse  ingenio  omatam  quam  auro  multo 

mavolo : 
aurum,    id     fortuna    invenitur,    natura    ingenium 

bonum.^ 
meretricem    pudorem   gerere    naagis    decet   quam 

purpuram :  ^ 
pulchrum  ornatum  turpes  mores  peius  caeno  con- 

linunt, 
lepidi    mores    turpem   ornatum   facile   factis   com- 
probant. 
Ag.  Eho  tu,  vin  tu  facinus  facere  lepidum  et  festivom  ? 

Mil.  Volo. 

Ag.         Potesne  mi  auscultare  ? 
Mil.  Possum. 

Ag.  Abi  domum  ac  suspende  te. 

Mil.        Quam  ob  rem? 

Ag.  Quia  iam  numquam  audibis  verba  tot  tam  suavia.  310 

quid  tibi  opust  vixisse  ?      ausculta  mihi  modo  ac 
suspende  te. 
Mil.        Siquidem  tu  es  mecum  futurus  pro  uva  passa  pensilis. 
Ag.         At  ego  amo  banc. 
Mil.  At  ego  esse  et  bibere. 

Ad.  Eho  tu,  quid  ais  ? 

Ant.  Quid  rogas  ? 

Ad.         Viden   tu?    pleni   oculi   sorderum    qui    erant,   iam 

splendent  mihi  ? 
Ant.         Immo  etiam  in  medio  oculo  paullum  sordest. 
Ad.  Cedo  sis  dexteram. 

Ag.         Vt  quidem  tu  huius  oculos  inlutis  manibus  tractes  aut 
teras? 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  303  : 

bonam  ego  quam  heatam  me  esse  nimio  did  mavolo. 
■  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  305  : 
magisque  meretricem  pudorem  quam  aurum  gerere  condecet. 

3° 


POENULUS 

{quietly)  Envy  was  never  one   of  my  innate  in- 
firmities, sister  dear,  or  ill-will.     I  had  much  rather 

be  adorned  by  beauty  of  character  than  by  jewels. 

Jewels  are  the  gift  of  fortune,  character  comes 

from   •tt'ithin.'^     Modesty's   more   becoming    to   a 

courtesan  than  purple  ^ :    ugly  ways  so  ila  pretty 

frock   worse   than   mud,   while   nice   ways   easily 

embellish  an  ugly  frock. 

{aside  to  Milphio,  ravished)  Ah-h,  Milphio  !  Would'st 

do  something  sweet  and  sportive  ? 

I  would. 

Canst  heed  my  counsel  ? 

I  can. 

Go  home  and  hang  thyself. 

Eh?. Why  so? 

Because  never  again  wilt  thou  hear  so  many  words 

so  charming.     What  hast  thou  now  to  live  for  ?  Ah, 

heed  thou  me  and  hang  thyself. 

All  right,  if  you'll  hang  beside  me  and  be  a  bunch 

of  raisins,  too. 

Ah,  but  I — I  love  this  girl ! 

Ah,  but  I — I  love  to  eat  and  drink  ! 

Oh,  I  say,  dear! 

What  is  it  ? 

Look,  will  you  ?     My  eyes  were  full  of  specks.     Are 

they  clear  now? 
Int.       {inspecting)  No,  there's  still  a  little  speck  in  the 

middle  of  this  eye. 
id.        {to  the  maid)  Lend  me  a  hand,  please. 
ig.         {aside,  as  the  maid  obeys)  You  ?  You  feel  or  finger 

eyes  of  hers  with  those  dirty  hands  ? 

^  V.  303  :  I  much  prefer  to  be  known  for  my  goodness 
than  for  my  good  luck. 

*  Y.  305  :  Modesty  befits  a  courtesan  better  than  jewels. 

31 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ant.         Nimia  nos  socordia  hodie  tenuit. 
Ad.  Qua  de  re,  obsecro  ? 

Ant,        Quia  non  iam  dudum  ante  lucem  ad  aedem  Veneris 
venimus, 
primae  ut  inferremus  ignem  in  aram. 
Ad.  Aha,  non  factost  opus: 

quae  habent  nocturna  ora,  noctu  sacruficatum  ire 

occupant.  320 

prius  quam  Venus  expergiscatur,  prius  deproperant 

sedulo 
sacruficare ;    nam  vigilante  Venere  si  veniant  eae, 
ita  sunt  turpes,  credo  ecastor  Venerem  ipsam  e  fano 
fugent. 
Ag.         Milphio. 
Mil.  Edepol  Milphionem  miserum. 

quid  nunc  vis  tibi  ? 
Ag.         Opsecro  hercle,  ut  mulsa  loquitur. 
Mil.  Nil  nisi  laterculos, 

sesumam  papaveremque,  triticum  et  frictas  nuces. 
Ag.         Ecquid  amare  videor  ? 

Mil.  Damnum,  quod  Mercurius  minime  amat. 

Ag.         Namque  edepol  lucrum  amare   nullum  amatorem 

addecet. 
Ant.        Eamus,  mea  germana. 
Ad.  Age  sis,  ut  lubet. 

Ant.  Sequere  hac. 

Ad.  Sequor. 

Mil.        Eunt  hae. 
Ag.  Quid  si  adeamus? 

Mil.  Adeas. 

Ag.  Primum  prima  salva  sis,  330 

et  secunda  tu  secundo  salve  in  pretio ;  tertia 
salve   extra   pretium. 
Anc.  Turn  pel  ego  et  oleum  et  operam  perdidi. 

32 


POENULUS 

!.       We've  been  terribly  lazy  to-day. 

How  so,  pray  ? 
'.        In  not  going  long  ago  before  dawn  to  Venus'  temple 
so  as  to  bring  the  first  fire  to  her  altar. 
Oh  dear,  no,  that's  not  necessary.     It's  girls  with 
nightmare  faces  that  go  by  night  to  be  the  first 
to  sacrifice.     Off  they  scurry,  eager  to  make  their 
offerings,  long  before  Venus  wakes  up.     Why,  if 
she  were  awake  when  they  arrived,  they're  so  ugly 
that  I  vow  I  do  beUeve  they'd  drive  our  very  Venus 
from  her  shrine. 
(aside)  Milphio! 
f.        {drearily)  Oh,  Lord!    Miserable  Milphio!     What 
d'ye  want  now  ? 

ig.        Oh,  man,  man,  what  honeyed  words  I 

Vtil.       Yes,  yes,   regular  flapjacks — sesame   and  poppy 
seeds,  wheaten  flour  and  roasted  nuts ! 
How  looks  my  love  to  you  now  ? 
I.       Like  a  financial  loss — which  Mercury  doesn't  love 
in  the  least. 

ig.         Well,  heavens,  man !      Love  of  gain  befits  no  lover. 

int.        Let's  go,  sister  mine. 

id.         Very  well  then,  as  you  please. 

int.        Come  along. 

id.         I  am  coming,  {follows  rvith  the  maid) 

Mil.        {aside  to  Agorasiocles)  They're  going. 
What  if  we  go  up  to  them  ? 
I.       (yawning)  Go    up.  (Agorastocles    approaches    them, 
Milphio  following  at  his  leisure) 

{with  attempted  sprightliness)  First  (to  Adelphasium)  to 
you  first  greetings,  and  (to  Anterastilis)  to  you, 
second,  greetings,  of  second  value ;  (to  maid)  third, 
greetings,  of  no  value. 

Maid     Goodness !    Then  I've  thrown  away  my  time  and 
trouble. 

33 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

^g-         Quo  te  agis  ? 
Ad.  Egone  ?  in  aedem  Veneris. 

Ag.  Quid  eo  ? 

Ad.  Vt  Venerem  propitiem. 

Ag.         Eho,  an  irata  est  ?  propitia  hercle  est.  vel  ego  pro  ilia 
spondeo. 
quid  tu  ais  ? 
Ad.  Quid  mihi  molestu's,  opsecro  ? 

Ag.  Aha,  tarn  saeviter. 

Ad.         Mitte,  amabo. 

Ag.  Quid  festinas  ?  turba  nunc  illi  est. 

Ad.  Scio. 

sunt  illi  aliae  quas  spectare  ego,  et  me  spectari  vole. 
Ag.         Qui   lubet  spectare  turpes,  pulchram  spectandam 

dare? 
Ad.         Quia    apud    aedem    Veneris    hodie    est    mercatus 
meretricius : 
eo  conveniunt  mercatores,  ibi  ego  me  ostendi  volo.     340 
Ag.  Invendibili  merci  oportet  ultro  emptorem  adducere  : 

proba  mers  facile   emptorem  reperit,  tarn  etsi  in 

abstruso  sitast. 
quid  ais  tu  ?    quando  illi  apud  me  meciun  caput  et 
corpus  copulas  ?  ^ 
Ad.         Quo  die  Orcus  Acherunte  mortuos  amiserit. 
Ag.         Sunt  mihi  intus  nescio  quot  nummi  aurei  lymphatici. 
Ad.         Deferto  ad  me,  faxo  actutum  constiterit  lympha- 

ticum. 
Mil.        Bellula  hercle. 
Ag.  I  dierecte  in  maxiunam  malam  crucem. 

1  Corrupt  (Leo) :  palpas  et  lallas  A. 
34 


POENULUS 

( Ag.         (to  Adelphasium)  Whither  away  ? 
Ad.         I  ?     To  the  temple  of  Venus. 
As.         WTiy  there  ? 
Ad.         To  propitiate  Venus. 
Ag.         Oho  !     Can  she  be  angry  ?     Good  heavens,  she  is 

propitious!     Why,     I'll    vouch    for    her    myself. 

(holding  her  as  she  seems  about  to  go)  But   I  say! 

(hesitates) 
Ad.         (trying  half-heartedly  to  pull  away)  Vraj  what  makes 


you  annoy  me 


As.         Dear,  dear !     What  a  crosspatch ! 

Ad.         Do  let  go,  there's  a  nice  boy ! 

Ag.         (releasing   her)     But   why    hurry  ?     The    place    is 

crowded  now. 
Ad.         I  know  it.     There  are  other  girls  there  I  want  to 

look  at,  and  I  want  to  be  looked  at  too.  (lingers) 
Ag.         How  is  it  that  you  hke  to  look  at  frights  and  give 

them  a  beauty  to  look  at  ? 
Ad.         Because  there's  a  courtesan  sale  at  Venus'  shrine 

to-day  :  merchants  are  meeting  there,  (sadly)  and  I 

want  to  show  myself,  (still  lingers) 
Ag.         Stuff  that's  unsellable  you  must  go  out  and  bring 

a    buyer     for:      choice     stuff     finds     a     ready 

buyer,  even  if  it's  kept  concealed.     But  I  say! 

When  are  you  coming  to  my  house  there  to  let  me 

love  you  ? 
Ad.         (disappointed)  Oh,  the  day  that  Pluto  lets  the  dead 

leave  Acheron. 
Ag.         (tentatively)  I  have  any  nimaber  of  gold  pieces  at 

home  that  are  quite  beyond  control. 
Ad.         Bring  them  to  me;   I'll  soon  put  them  in  their 

place,  (pauses  expectantly) 
Mil.        (sardonically)  Sweet  httle  thing !     My  word ! 
Ag.         (to  Milphio,  changing  the  subject)  You  be  everlast- 
ingly damned ! 

35 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Mil.        Quam  magis  aspecto,  tarn  magis  est  nimbata  et 

nugae  merae. 
Ad.  Segrega  sermonem.     taedet. 

^g-  Age,  sustolle  hoc  amiculum. 

Ad.  Pura     sum,     comperce     amabo     me     attrectare, 

Agorastocles.  350 

Ag.  Quid  agam  nunc  ? 

Ad.  Si  sapias,  curam  banc  facere  compendi  potes. 

Ag.  Quid  ?  ego  non  te  curem  ?  quid  ais,  Milphio  ? 

Mil.  Ecce  odium  meum. 

quid  me  vis  ? 
Ag.  Cur  mi  haec  irata  est  ? 

Mil.  Cur  haec  irata  est  tibi  ? 

cur   ego   id  curem  ?    namque   istaec   magis   meast 
curatio  ?  ^ 
Ag.  lam  hercle  tu  periisti,  nisi  illam  mihi  tam  tranquillam 

facis 
quam  mare  olimst,  quom  ibi  alcedo  pullos  educit  suos. 
Mil.        Quid  faciam  ? 

Ag.  Exora,  blandire,  expalpa. 

Mil.  Faciam  sedulo. 

sed  vide  sis,  ne  tu  oratorem  hunc  pugnis  pectas 
postea. 
Ag.         Non  faciam. 
Ad.  Non  aequos  in  me  es,  sed  morare  et  male  facis. 

bene  promittis  multa  ex  multis :   omnia  in  cassum  360 

cadunt. 
liberare  iuravisti  me  baud  semel,  sed  centiens  : 
dum  te   exspecto,  neque   ego  usquam  aliam  mihi 

paravi  copiam 
neque  istuc  usquam  apparet ;  ita  nunc  servio  nihilc 

minus. 
i,  soror.     apscede  tu  a  me. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  nam  qui  Ritschl. 
36 


POENULUS 

{muttering  as  he  surveys  her)  The  more  I  inspect  her, 
the  more  bebandoned  a  bit  of  trash  she  seems. 
(to  Agorastocles)  Let's  close  the  conversation.     It 
bores  me. 

Come,  do  lift  up  this  mantle,  {helping) 
I  am  purified!     Please  keep  your  hands  off  me, 
Agorastocles,  please !  {jmlb  away) 
{hopelessly)  What  shall  I  do  now? 
{significantly)  With  any  sense,  you   can  end  this 
trouble  in  no  time. 

{apparently  missing  the  point)  Wliat  ?     I  not  trouble 
about  you  }     {helplessly)  I  say,  Milphio ! 
{aside)  Here  he  is,  at  me  again !  {aloud)  What  d'ye 
want } 

Why  is  she  angry  with  me  ? 

Why  is  she  angry  at  you  ?  Why  should  I  trouble 
about  that  ?  Is  that  my  job  or  yours,  to  trouble 
about  her? 

{rvildly)  Now,  by  heaven,  you're  a  dead  man,  unless 
you  make  her  tranquil  for  me  as  the  sea,  at  times 
when  there  the  halcyon  doth  hatch  her  young ! 
What  shall  I  do  ? 
Entreat,  coax,  cajole ! 

I'll  do  my  best.     But  please  see  you  don't  end  by 
exercising  your  fists  on  your  envoy. 
No,  no ! 

(to  Agorastocles)  You  aren't  fair  to  me,  but  delay 
and  do  me  harm.  You  pile  up  fine  promises  sky- 
high:  down  they  all  drop  to  nothing.  You  have 
sworn,  not  once,  but  a  hundred  times,  to  set  me 
free :  I've  waited  and  waited  for  you,  without 
making  any  other  provision  for  myself,  and  without 
any  action  on  your  part — so  here  I  am,  as  much  a 
slave  as  ever,  {turning  away)  Go  on,  sister,  {to 
Agorastocles)  And  you,  sir,  leave  me ! 

37 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ag.  Perii.    ecquid  agis,  Milphio  ? 

Mil.        Mea  voluptas,  mea  delicia,  mea  vita,  mea  amoenitas, 

meus  ocellus,  meum  labellum,  mea    salus,  meum 

savium, 
meum  mel,  meum  cor,  mea  colustra,  meus  molliculus 
caseus — 
Ag.  Mene  ego  illaec  patiar  praesente  dici  ?  disorucior 

miser, 
nisi  ego  ilium  iubeo  quadrigis  cursim  ad  carnificem 
rapi. 
Mil.        Noli,  amabo,  suscensere  ero  meo,  causa  mea.  370 

ego  faxo,  si  non  irata  es,  ninnium  pro  te  dabit 
atque  te  faeiet  ut  sis  civis  Attica  atque  libera, 
quin  adire  sinis  ?     quin  tibi  qui  bene  volunt,  bene 

vis  item  ? 
si  ante  quid  mentitust,  nunciam  dehinc  erit  verax 

tibi. 
sine  te  exorem,  sine  prehendam  auriculis,  sine  dem 
savium. 
Ad.         Apscede  hino  sis,  sycophanta  par  ero. 
Mil.  At  scin  quo  modo  ? 

iam   hercle   ego   faciam   ploratillum,   nisi  te  facio 

propitiam, 
atque  hie  ne  me  verberetillum  faciat,  nisi  te  propitio, 
male  formido :  novi  ego  huius  mores  morosi  malos. 
quam  ob  rem  amabo,  mea  voluptas,  sine  te   hoc 
exorarier.  380 

Ag.         Non  ego  homo  trioboli  sum,  nisi  ego  illi  mastigiae 
exturbo  oculos  atque  dentes.     em  voluptatem  tibi, 
em   mel,   em   cor,    em  labellum,   em  salutem,  em 
savium. 
Mil.        Impias,  ere,  te  :  oratorem  verberas. 

*  Ninnium,  of  unknown  meaning. 
38 


POENULUS 

Oh,  I'm  lost !    Act,  Milphio,  act ! 
(to  Adelphasium,  rvith  mock  fervour)  Ah,  my  joy, 
my  darling,  my  Ufe,  my  delight,  apple  of  my  eye, 
lips  of  my  love,  my  salvation,  my  soul  kiss,  my  honey, 
my  heart's  desire,  my  peaches  and  cream,  my  soft 

httle  cheese 

{aside,  incensed)  Shall  I  allow  such  things  to  be 
said  in  my  presence  ?  Death  and  damnation,  if  I 
don't  have  him  dragged  to  the  hangman  fast  as  a 
four-in-hand  can  travel ! 

Don't  be  provoked  at  my  master,  don't,  for  my 
sake,  there's  a  dear !  If  you're  not  angry,  I'll  see 
he  gives  a  naggot^  for  you  and  makes  you  a  free 
Athenian  citizen.  WTiy  don't  you  let  him  come 
near  you?  Why  don't  you  be  friendly  to  your 
friends?  Supposing  he  did  he  a  bit  before,  from 
now  on  you'll  find  him  rehable.  Let  me  prevail 
upon  you,  let  me  take  you  by  the  ear-laps,  let  me 
give  you  a  nice  long  kiss  5 

{angrily)  Get  away,  will  you!  Like  master,  like 
man — cheats ! 

But  just  look  here — I  must  get  you  pacified  or, 
good  Lord !  I'll  soon  be  getting  him  weepified,  and 
if  I  don't  pacify  you,  I'm  scared  to  death  he'll 
thrashify  me.  I  know  how  mean  moroseness 
makes  him.  So  do  let  me  prevail  upon  you,  there's 
a  dear !     Do,  my  joy ! 

{furious)  I'm  not  a  farthings  worth  of  a  man  if  I 
don't  expunge  that  scoundrel's  eyes  and  teeth ! 
(laying  into  him)  There's  your  joy !  There's 
honey !  There's  heart's  desire !  There's  Ups  of 
your  love!  There's  salvation!  There's  a  soul 
kiss ! 

{dodging  one)  Oh,  sir,  it's  sacrilege!  You're 
violating  an  envoy! 

39 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ag.  lam  istoc  magis  :  ^ 

sicine  ego  te  orare  iussi  ? 
Mil.  Quo  modo  ergo  orem  ? 

Ag.  Rogas  ? 

sic    enim    dioeres,    seeleste :     huius    voluptas,    te 

opsecro, 
huius  mel,  huius  cor,  huius  labellum,  huius  lingua, 

huius  savium, 
huius  delicia,  huius  salus  amoena,  huius  festivitas :  ^ 
omnia  ilia,  quae  dicebas  tua,  esse  ea  memorares  mea.  391 
Mil.        Opsecro   hercle   te,    voluptas   huius    atque    odium 
meum, 
huius  arnica  mammeata,  mea  inimica  et  malevola, 
oculus  huius,  lippitudo  mea,  mel  huius,  fel  meum, 
ut  tu  huic  irata  ne  sis  aut,  si  id  fieri  non  potest, 
capias  restim  ac  te  suspendas  cum  ero  et  vostra 

familia. 
nam  mihi  iam  video  propter  te  victitandum  sorbilo, 
itaque  iam  quasi  ostreatum  tergum  ulceribus  gestito 
propter  amor  em  vestrum. 
Ad.  Amabo,  men  prohibere  postulas 

ne  te  verberet  magis  quam  ne  mendax  me  advorsum 
siet  ?  400 

Ant.        Aliquid    huic    responde,     amabo,     commode,     ne 
incommodus 
nobis  sit.     nam  detinet  nos  de  nostro  negotio. 
Ad.         Verum.      etiam  tibi  hanc  amittam  noxiam  unam, 
Agorastocles. 
non  sum  irata. 
Ag.  Non  es  ? 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  385  : 

etiam  ocellum  addam  et  labellum  et  lingttam. 
Mil.  Ecquid  fades  modi? 

«  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  390-390»  : 

huius  colustra,  huius  dulciculus  caseus,  mastigia, 
huius  cor,  huius  studium,  huius  savium,  mastigia. 
40 


POENULUS 

(landing  one)  TTie  more  for  that !  ^    Was  that  the 
way  I  told  you  to  entreat  her  ? 
How  should  I,  then  ? 

You  ask?  This  was  the  way  to  say  it,  villain. 
(turning  toward  Adelphasium)  Oh,  I  implore  you, 
master's  joy,  Ids  honey,  his  heart's  desire,  hps  of  his 
love,  his  tongue,  his  soul  kiss,  his  darhng,  his  delight 
and  salvation,  his  feUcity  !  ^  AH  those  things  you 
called  yours  were  to  be  mentioned  as  mine. 
(to  Adelphasium)  Oh,  I  do,  do,  implore  you,  his  joy — 
(aside)  and  my  abomination — his  breastiful  friend — 
(aside)  my  cantankerous  foe — hght  of  his  eyes — 
(aside)  my  eyesore — fas  honey — (aside)  my  henbane 
— I  implore  you,  don't  be  angry  at  him,  (aside)  or  if 
that  can't  be  helped,  get  a  rope  and  hang  yourself, 
you  and  your  master  and  your  whole  household! 
(aloud)  For  I  see  it's  a  watery  diet  I'm  in  for  now 
on  your  account,  with  me  already  carrying  a  back 
like  an  oyster's  with  weals  all  over  it  on  account  of 
vour  love  affair. 

Do  you  expect  me,  my  dear  man,  to  stop  his  thrash- 
ing you  more  than  his  tricking  me  ? 
(aside  to  Adelphasium)  Give  him  (nodding  towards 
Agorastocles)  some  answer,  a  pleasant  one,  there's  a 
dear,  so  that  he'll  stop  plaguing  us.     As  it  is,  he's 
keeping  us  from  our  own  affairs. 
That's  so.  (to  Agorastocles)  Again  I'll  let  this  one 
fault  pass,  Agorastocles.     I'm  not  angry. 
(adoringly)  You're  not? 

*  V.  385  :  Yes,  and  I'll  add — apple  of  your  eye  !  and — 
lips  of  your  love  !  and — tongue !  MU.  Aren't  you  ever 
going  to  end  ? 

»  Vv.  390-39O :  Hia  peaches  and  cream.  Aw  delectable 
little  cheese,  you  reprobate,  hia  heart's  desire,  his  passion, 
hia  soul  kiss,  you  reprobate  I 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ad.  Non  sum. 

Ag.  Da  ergo,  ut  credam,  savium. 

Ad.         Mox  dabo,  quom  ab  re  divina  rediero. 

Ag.  I  ergo  strenue. 

Ad.         Sequere  me,  soror. 

Ag.  Atque  audin  etiam  ?     Veneri  dicito 

multam  meis  verbis  salutem. 
Ad.  Dicam. 

Ag.  Atque  hoc  audi. 

Ad.  Quid  est? 

Ag.         Faucis    verbis  rem  divinam  facito.     atque  audin? 
respice. 

respexit.  idem  edepol  Venerem  credo  facturam  tibi. 

1.3 

quid  nunc  mi  es  auctor,  Milphio  ? 
Mil.  Vt  me  verberes  410 

atque  auctionem  facias  :   nam  impunissume 

tibi  quidem  hercle  vendere  hasce  aedis  licet. 
Ag.         Quid  iam  ? 

Mil.  Maiorem  partem  in  ore  habitas  meo. 

Ag.         Supersede  istis  verbis. 

Mil.  Quid  nunc  vis  tibi  ? 

Ag.         Trecentos  Philippos  Collybisco  vilico 

dedi  dudum,  prius  quam  me  evocavisti  foras. 

nunc  opsecro  te,  Milphio,  banc  per  dexteram 

perque  banc  sororem  laevam  perque  oculos  tuos  ^ 

perque  tuam  libertatem — 
Mil.  Em  nunc  nihil  opsecras.  420 

*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  419  : 

perque  meos  amores  perque  Adelphasium  meam. 


1  V.  419  :     And  by  my  love  and  by  my  Adelphasium. 
42 


POENULUS 

^Ad.         I'm  not. 

\Ag.         Then  give  me  a  nice  long  kiss  to  prove  it. 

'Ad.         I  will  later,  when  I  return  from  worship. 

Ag.         Go,  then,  hasten ! 

Ad.         {going)  Come  along,  sister. 

Ag.  (maudlin)  And — listening  still,  are  you?  Give 
Venus  my  very  best  regards. 

Ad.         (over  her  shoulder)     Yes,  yes. 
iAg.         And — listen  here! 

'Ad.         What  is  it? 

Ag.  Make  your  offering  without  wasting  words,  (as 
Adelpkasium  is  almost  out  of  sight)  And — listen,  will 
you  ?  Do  look  at  me  kindly !  (Adelphasium  smiles 
at  him)  She  has  done  it !  I  verily  beUeve  Venus 
•will  do  the  same  for  you ! 

[exeunt  girls  and  maid. 

Scene  3. 

(to  Milphio,  helplessly)  What  do  you  recommend 
now,  Milphio? 

Mil.  (glum)  That  you  keep  punching  me  and  hold  an 
auction.  Why,  you  can  sell  this  house  here  and  not 
suffer  from  it,  not  one  tiny  bit,  yoiurself. 

Ag.         How  so? 

Mil.  (nursing  his  contusions)  Because  you  spend  most  of 
your  time  about  my  jaws. 

Ag.         (gradually  hysterical  again)  Desist  firom  such  talk! 

Mil.        \Vhat  do  you  want  now  ? 

Ag.  I  gave  three  hundred  pounds  to  bailiff  CoUybiscus 
a  while  ago,  before  you  called  me  out.  Now  I 
beseech  you,  Milphio,  by  this  right  hand  (seizing 
Milphio's  right  hand)  and  by  its  sister  left  (seizing 
Milphio' s  left  hand)  and  by  these  eyes  of  yours  ^  and 
by  your  freedom 

Afi7.  (snorting)  There!  That  means  you  don't  beseech 
at  al 

43 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 


Ag.  Mi  Milphidisce,  mea  commoditas,  mea  salus, 

fac  quod  facturum  te  esse  promisti  mihi, 
ut  ego  hunc  lenonem  perdam. 

Mil.  Perfacile  id  quidemst. 

1,  adduce  testis  tecum ;   ego  intus  interim 
iam  et  ornamentis  meis  et  sycophantiis 
tuom  exornabo  vilicum.     propera  atque  abi. 

Ag.        Fugio. 

Mil.  Meum  est  istuc  magis  officium  quam  tuom. 

Ag.         Egone  egone,  si  istuc  lepide  ecfexis — 

Mil.  I  modo. 

Ag.         Vt  non  ego  te  hodie — 

Mil.  Abi  modo. 

Ag.  Emittam  manu — 

Mil.        I  modo. 

Ag.  Non  hercle  meream — 

Mil.  Oh— 

Ag.  Vah— 

Mil.  Abi  modo.  430 

Ag.         Quantum  Acheruntest  mortuorum — 

Mil.  Etiamne  abis  ? 

Ag.         Neque  quantum  aquaist  in  mari — 

Mil.  Abiturun  es  ? 

Ag.         Neque  nubes  omnes  quantumst — 

Mil.  Pergin  pergere .'' 

Ag.         Neque  stellae  in  caelo — 

Mil.  Pergin  auris  tundere  ? 

Ag.         Neque  hoc  neque  illud  neque — enim  vero  serio — 
neque — hercle  vero — quid  opust  verbis  ?  quippini  ? 
quod  uno  verbo — dicere  hie  quidvis  licet, 
neque — hercle  vero  serio,  scin  quomodo  ? 
ita  me  di  amabunt — vin  bona  dicam  fide  ? 


i 


44 


POENULUS 

Oh,  my  Milphiolio,  my  Opportunity,  my  Salvation, 

do  what  you  promised  me  to  do  and  help  me  crush 

this  pimp ! 

(taking  an  interest)  That's  perfectly  simple.     Go, 

bring  along  some  witnesses  with  you.     Meantime 

now  I'll  be  inside  equipping  your  bailiff  with  my 

own  equipment  and  stratagems.     Hiurv  up  and  be 

off! 

{efferrescenlly)  I  fly ! 

That's  more  in  my  line  than  yours. 

{hugging  him)  If  you  bring  it  all  to  a  happy  end,  I 

.   .   .  I— 

{sceptical  and  impaUent)  Yes,  yes,  off  with  you ! 

I  won't  fail  this  day — 

Yes,  yes,  be  off! 

To  set  you  free — 

Yes,  yes,  off  with  you ! 

No,  by  heaven,  not  for — 

Oh— 

Ah— 

Yes,  yes,  be  off! 

As  much  as  all  the  dead  in  Hades — 

Do  be  off,  won't  you  ? 

Or  as  much  as  all  the  water  in  the  sea — 

Won't  you  be  off? 

Or  all  the  clouds — 

Stillatit,  still,  eh? 

Or  all  the  stars  in  the  sky — 

Still  dinning  my  ears  ? 

No,    neither  this  nor  that   nor    ...    in    sober 

earnest  .   .   .   nor  .   .   .  really,  by  heaven   .   .   . 

why  say  more  ?    ^Tiy  not  ?     In  a  word   .   .    .   you 

can  say  what  you  please  here,  nor   ...   in  sober 

earnest,  by  heaven,  you  see  how  it  is  ?    The  Lord 

love  me   .   .   .  you  want  me  to  speak  in  good 

45 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

quod  hie  inter  nos  liceat — ita  me  luppiter —  440 

scin  quam  videtur  ?   credin  quod  ego  fabuler  ? 
Mil.        Si  nequeo  facere  ut  abeas,  egomet  abiero ; 

nam  isti  quidem  hercle  orationi  Oedipo 

opust  coniectore,  qui  Sphingi  interpres  fuit. 
Ag.         Illic  hinc  iratus  abiit.     nunc  mihi  eautio  est, 

ne  meamet  culpa  meo  amori  obiexim  moram. 

ibo  atque  arcessam  testis,  quando  Amor  iubet 

me  oboedientem  esse  servo  liberum. 


AGTVS  II 

Li/c,        Di  ilium  infelicent  omnes,  qui  post  hunc  diem 

leno  ullam  Veneri  umquam  immolarit  hostiam  450 

quive  uUum  turis  granum  sacruficaverit. 

nam  ego  hodie  infelix  dis  meis  iratissumis 

sex  immolavi  agnos,  nee  potui  tamen 

propitiam  Venerem  facere  uti  esset  mihi. 

quoniam  litare  nequeo,  abii  illim  ilico 

iratus,  votui  exta  prosicarier ;  ^ 

eo  pacto  avarae  Veneri  pulchre  adii  manum. 

quando  id  quod  sat  erat  satis  habere  noluit, 

ego  pausam  feci,     sic  ago,  sic  me  decet. 

ego  faxo  posthac  di  deaeque  ceteri  460 

contentiores  mage  erunt  atque  avidi  minus, 

quom  scibunt,  Veneri  ut  adierit  leno  manum. 

condigne  haruspex,  non  homo  trioboli, 

omnibus  in  extis  aibat  portendi  mihi 

malum  damnimique  et  deos  esse  iratos  mihi. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  457»-457'' : 

neque  ea  poricere  volui,  quoniam  non  bona 
haruspex  dixit :  deam  esse  indignant  credidi. 

1  Vv.  4573-457'' :   I  didn't  wish  to  offer  those  organs,  the 
priest  having  pronounced  them  bad :    I  felt  the  goddess 
did  not  deserve  such  treatment. 
46 


POENULUS 

faith?  Here  between  us  two  what  can  ...  so 
Jupiter  .  .  .  you  know  how  it  seems?  You 
believe  what  I  tell  you  ? 

(escaping)  If  I  can't  induce  you  to  be  off,  I'll  be  off 
myself!  Ye  gods!  Why,  that  oration  of  yours 
ought  to  be  submitted  to  Oedipus,  one-time  inter- 
preter for  the  Sphinx.  [exit. 
(subsiding)  There,  he's  off,  angry.  I  must  take 
care  now  not  to  block  the  course  of  my  own  love 
and  have  myself  to  blame.  I'll  go  and  summon 
\^itnesses,  since  Love  hath  bid  me  be  obedient 
to  a  slave,  freeman  though  I  am.  [exit. 


ACT  II 

ENTER  LyCUS,  SAVAGE. 

May  all  the  powers  above  confound  the  pimp  who 
after  this  day  ever  sacrifices  a  single  \ictim  to 
Venus  or  offers  her  a  single  grain  of  incense.  ^Vhy, 
here's  my  confounded  self  to-day,  with  my  gods  in 
an  awful  rage — six  lambs  I  sacrificed,  six,  yet  not  a 
sign  of  a  favour  could  I  get  from  Venus.  Seeing  I 
was  unable  to  get  good  omens,  off  I  went  at  once, 
in  a  rage  myself,  without  letting  'em  cut  off  the 
sacrificial  meat.*^  That's  the  tidy  way  I  tripped  her 
up,  that  greedy  Venus.  Seeing  she  wouldn't  call 
enough  enough,  I  called  a  halt.  That's  the  sort  I  am, 
that's  the  style  for  me.  I  guarantee  that  after  this 
the  other  gods  and  goddesses  will  be  more  readily 
contented  and  less  grasping  when  they  learn  how 
the  pimp  tripped  up  Venus.  And  that  priest,  the 
farthingsworth  of  a  fellow,  was  worthy  of  his  job  in 
saying  all  the  organs  boded  ill  and  loss  and  heaven's 
wrath  for  me.     How  can  you  credit  such  a  man  in 

47 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

quid  ei  divini  aut  humani  aequomst  credere  ? 

mina  mihi  argenti  dono  postilla  datast. 

sed  quaeso,  ubi  nam  illic  restitit  miles  modo, 

qui  hanc  mihi  donavit,  quem  ego  vocavi  ad  prandium? 

sed  eccum  incedit. 
Anta.  Ita  ut  occepi  dicere,  470 

lenulle,  de  ilia  pugna  Pentetronica, 

quom  sexaginta  milia  hominum  uno  die 

volaticorum  manibus  occidi  raieis. 
Lye.        ^'^olaticonml  hominum  ? 
Anta.  Ita  dico  quidem. 

Lye.        An,  opsecro,  usquam  sunt  homines  volatici  ? 
Anta.      Fuere.     verum  ego  interfeci. 
Lye.  Quo  modo 

potuisti  ? 
Anta.  Dicam.   viscum  legioni  dedi 

fundasque  ;   eo  praesternebant  folia  farferi. 
Lye.        Quoi  rei  ? 

Anta.  Ad  fundas  viscus  ne  adhaeresceret. 

Lye.        Perge.     optume  hercle  perieras.     quid  postea  ?  480 

Anta.      In  fundas  visei  indebant  grandiculos  globos, 

eo  illos  volantis  iussi  funditarier. 

quid  multa  verba  ?   quemquem  visco  offenderant, 

tarn  crebri  ad  terram  accidebant  quam  pira. 

ut  quisque  acciderat,  eum  necabam  ilico 

per  cerebrum  pinna  sua  sibi,  quasi  turturem. 
Lye.        Si    hercle    istue    umquam    factiun    est,    tum    me 
luppiter 

faciat  ut  semper  sacruficem  nee  umquam  Utem. 
Anta.      An  mi  haec  non  credis  ? 
Lye.  Credo,  ut  mi  aequomst  credier.  490 

age  eamus  intro. 


48 


POENULUS 

anything,  divine  or  human  ?  Why,  later  on  I  got  a 
present  of  four  pounds,  (looking  back)  But  I  wonder 
where  on  earth  that  warrior's  stopped  now,  who 
gave  me  this  money  and  got  my  invitation  to 
lunch?     Ah,  there  he  struts! 

ENTER  Antamonides,  very  martial. 

(sonorously)  To  continue,  pimpling,  my  account  of 

that  Pentetronic  afiray  when  on  one  day  I  slew 

■with  these  two  hands  sixty  thousand  flying  men. 

(ironically)  Flying  men,  eh  ? 

Such  was  my  statement,  sir. 

You  mean  to  say  that  anywhere  there  are  flying 

men? 

(firmly)  There  were.     But  I  destroyed  them. 

How  could  you  ? 

Thus.     My  legions  I  equipped  with  birdlime  and 

with  slings ;    within  they  laid  leaves  of  coltsfoot. 

Why  that? 

To  prevent  the  birdlime  from  adhering  to  the  sling^. 

Goon,  (half  aside)  Gad,  you're  a  grand  Uar!  (a/oa<f) 

What  next  ? 

They  loaded  their  slings  with  good-sized  balls  of 

birdlime,  and  at  my  command  did  open  fire  upon 

those  flyers.     Why  prolong  the  tale?     Struck  by 

the  birdlime,  they  fell  to  the  ground  thick  as  pears. 

As  each  one  fell,  I  straightway  ran  him  through  the 

brain  with  one  of  his  own  feathers  and  killed  him 

like  a  turtle-dove. 

Gad !     If  that  ever  took  place,  may  Jupiter  take 

me  and  make  me  sacrifice  eternally  with  never  one 

good  omen. 

(stiffly)  You  do  not  believe  me  ? 

I  believe  you — just  as  I  should  be  believed,  myself. 

Come,  let's  go  inside,     (moves  towards  his  house) 

49 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Anta.  Dum  exta  referuntur,  volo 

narrare  tibi  etiam  unam  pugnam. 
Lye.  Nil  moror. 

Anta.      Ausculta. 

Lye.  Non  hercle  auscultabo. 

Anta.  Quo  modo  ? 

colaphis  quidem  hercle  tuom  iam  dilidam  caput, 

nisi  aut  auscultas  aut  is  in  malam  crucem. 
Lye.        Malam  crucem  ibo  potius. 
Anta.  Certiminest  tibi  ? 

Lye.        Certum. 
Anta.  Turn  tu  igitur  die  bono  Aphrodisiis 

addice  tuam  mihi  meretricem  minusculam. 
Lye.        Ita  res  divina  mihi  fuit :  res  serias 

omnis  extoUo  ex  hoc  die  in  alium  diem.  500 

Anta.      Profestos  festos  habeam  decretum  est  mihi. 
Lye.        Nunc  hinc  eamus  intro.  sequere  hac  me. 
Anta.  Sequor. 

in  hunc  diem  iam  tuos  siun  mercennarius. 


ACTVS   III 

Ag,         Ita  me  di  ament,  tardo  amico  nihil  est  quicquam 

inaequius, 
praesertim  homini  amanti,  qui  quidquid  agit  properat 

omnia, 
sicut  ego  hos  duco  advocatos,  homines  spissigradissi- 

mos, 
tardiores  quam  corbitae  sunt  in  tranquillo  marl, 
atque  equidem  hercle  dedita  opera  amicos  fugitavi 

senes : 
scibam  aetate  tardiores,  metui  meo  amori  moram. 

50 


POENULUS 

(clutching  his  arm)  While  they  bring  back  the  sacri- 
ficial meat  I  wish  to  tell  you  of  still  another  battle. 
No  more  for  me ! 
Listen ! 

(pulling  arvay)  By  Jove,  I  won't  listen! 
(incensed)  How  is  that  ?     By  the  Lord,  I'll  debatter 
your  brains  to  bits  this  instant,  unless  you  either 
listen  or  go  and  be  hanged ! 
I  prefer  to  go  and  be  hanged. 
(roaring)  That  is  your  decision? 
(coolly)  My  decision. 

(after  glaring  rvithout  effect)  Well  then,  on  this 
happy  Aphrodisia  day  make  over  to  me  that  wench 
of  yours,  the  littler  one. 

The  way  devotional  matters  went  with  me,  I  am 
postponing  all  serious  matters  till  another  day. 
'Tis  my  resolve  to  treat  alike  days  sacred  and 
profane. 

Let's  go  inside  now.  This  way,  follow  me.  (opens 
his  door) 

(nith  dignity)  I  follow.  For  the  present  day  I  am 
your   mercenary.  [exeunt. 


ACT    III 

ENTER  Agorastocles,  rapidly. 

(looking  hack,  peevish)  Lord  love  me,  there's  nothing 
more  annoying  than  a  slow-footed  friend,  especially 
to  a  man  in  love,  who  does  all  he  does  in  a  hurry. 
Take  my  case — bringing  these  counsellors,  these 
waddlejoggers,  slower  than  barges  on  a  breathless 
sea.  Yes,  and  by  gad,  I  took  pains  to  avoid  my 
aged  friends :  I  knew  their  years  slowed  them 
down,  and  dreaded  having  my  desires  delayed. 

5' 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

nequiquam  hos  procos  mi  elegi  loripedis,  tardissimos.  510 
quin  si  ituri  hodie  estis,  ite,  aut  ite  hinc  in  malam 

crucem. 
sicine  oportet  ire   amicos   homini   amanti   operam 

datum  ? 
nam  iste  quidem  gradus  succretust  cribro  poUinario, 
nisi  cum  pedicis  condidicistis  istoc  grassari  gradu. 
Adv.        Heus  tu,  quamquam  nos  videmur  tibi  plebeii  et 

pauperes, 
si  nee  recte  dicis  nobis,  dives  de  summo  loco, 
divitem  audacter  solemus  mactare  infortunio. 
nee  tibi  nos  obnoxii  ^  istuc,  quid  tu  ames  aut  oderis : 
quom    argentum    pro    capite    dedimus,    nostrum 

dedimus,  non  tuom ; 
liberos  nos  esse  oportet.     nos  te  nihili  pendimus,        520 
ne  tuo  nos  amori  servos  ^  esse  addictos  censeas. 
liberos  homines  per  urbem  medico  magis  par  est 

gradu 
ire,  servile  esse  duco  festinantem  currere. 
praesertim   in   re  populi   placida  atque  interfectis 

hostibus 
non  decet  tumultuari.     sed  si  properabas  magis, 
pridie  nos  te  advocates  hue  duxisse  oportuit. 
ne  tu  opinere,  haud  quisquam  hodie  nostrum  curret 

per  vias, 
neque  nos  populus  pro  cerritis  insectabit  lapidibus. 
Ag.         At   si    ad   prandium   me   in    aedem    vos   dixissem 

ducere, 
vinceretis  cervom  cursu  vel  gralatorem  gradu ;  530 

nunc  vos  quia  mihi  advocatos  dixi  et  testis  ducere, 
podagrosi  estis  ac  vicistis  cochleam  tarditudine. 
Adv.       An  vero  non  iusta  causa  est,  quor  curratur  celeriter 

^  Leo  brackets  following  sumus. 
2  Leo  brackets  following  tuos. 

52 


POENULUS 

But  it's  no  use  my  having  chosen  these  drag-footed 
beaus,  the  slowest  ever,  (shouting  down  the  street) 
Come,  get  going,  if  you  intend  to  get  here  to-day, 
or  else  get  to  the  devil  out  of  here  !  Is  this  the  way 
for  friends  to  go  to  give  aid  to  a  lover  ?  Why,  that 
gait  of  yours  must  have  been  sifted  through  a 
flour  sieve — if  it's  not  a  shuffle  step  you  learned  in 
a  chain  gang. 

ENTER  Counsellors,  unhurried. 

See  here,you,we  may  seem  to  be  only  poor  plebeians, 
but  if  you  get  abusive,  noble  plutocrat  or  not, 
you'll  find  us  ready  and  wilUng  to  make  a  plutocrat 
feel  most  unfortunate.  Your  love,  or  hate,  means 
not  a  thing  to  us :  when  we  bought  our  hberty  it 
was  our  own  money  bought  it,  not  yours  ;  we 
are  free  men  and  ought  to  be.  We  don't  give  a 
hang  for  you,  so  don't  mistake  us  for  bond-slaves  of 
your  passion.  A  sober  pace  in  the  city  streets  is 
the  suitable  thing  for  free  men ;  it  has  a  servile  look 
to  bustle  about  on  the  run.  Especially  when  peace 
prevails  and  enemies  are  dead,  flurry  is  unseemly. 
But  if  you  were  in  such  haste,  you  should  have 
taken  us  here  as  counsellors  the  day  before.  No 
one  of  us — and  don't  you  expect  it — wll  go  running 
through  the  streets  this  day  and  have  people 
thinking  us  madmen  and  chasing  us  with  stones. 
Yes,  but  if  I  had  said  I  was  taking  you  to  the 
temple  to  lunch,  you'd  have  outstripped  a  stag  or 
outstridden  a  stilt-walker.  As  it  is,  since  I  said  I 
was  taking  you  to  be  my  counsellors  and  witnesses, 
you  have  the  gout  and  have  out-lagged  a  snail. 
Well,  and  haven't  you  good  reason  to  show  some 
speed  when  you're  headed  for  where  you  can  drink, 

53 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ubi  bibas,  edas  de  alieno  quantum  velis  usque  ad 

fatim, 
quod  tu  invitus  numquam  reddas  domino,  de  quoio 

ederis  ? 
sed  tamen  cum  eo  cum  quiqui,  quamquam  sumus 

pauperculi, 
est   domi    quod    edimus,  ne   nos   tam   contemptim 

conteras. 
quidquid  est  pauxillulum  illuc,  nostrum  id  omne, 

non  tuomst, 
nequenos  quemquam  flagitamus  neque  nos  quisquam 

flagitat. 
tua  causa  nemo  nostrorumst  suos  rupturus  ramites.    540 
Ag.         Nimis  iracundi  estis :   equidem  haec  vobis  dixi  per 

iocum. 
Adv.        Per   iocum   itidem   dictum   habeto   quae    nos    tibi 

respondimus.^ 
Ag.  Scitis  rem,  narravi  vobis  quod  vestra  opera  mi  opus 

siet, 
de  lenone  hoc,  qui  me  amantem  ludificatur  tam  diu, 
ei  paratae  ut  sint  insidiae  de  auro  et  de  servo  meo. 
Adv.        Omnia  istaec  scimus  iam  nos,  si  hi  spectatores  sciant ;  550 
horunc  hie  nunc  causa  haec  agitur  spectatorum  fabula : 
hos  te  satius  est  docere,  ut,  quando  agas,  quid  agas 

sciant. 
nos   tu  ne  curassis :    scimus   rem   omnem,  quippe 

omnes  simul 
didicimus  tecum  una,  ut  respondere  possemus  tibi. 
Ag.         Ita  profecto  est.    sed  agite  igitur,  ut  sciam  vos  scire 

rem, 
expedite  ^  mihi  quae  vobis  dudum  dixi  dicite. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  543-546  : 
Ag.  Obsecro  hercle,  operam  celocem  hanc  mihi,  ne  corbitam  date; 

attrepidate  saltern,  nam  vos  adproperare  haud  postulo. 
Adv.         Si  quid  tu  placide  otioseque  agere  vis,  operam  damns; 

si  properas,  cursores  meliust  te  advocates  ducere. 

54 


POENULUS 

and  eat  as  much  as  you  can  want  and  hold,  at 
another  man's  expense,  and  never  be  obliged  to 
pay  back  the  host  that  fed  you  ?  But  in  any  case, 
however,  even  though  we  are  poor  folks,  we  do 
have  food  of  our  own,  so  you  needn't  treat  us  as 
trash  to  trample  on.  The  little  we  have,  however 
httle,  is  all  ours,  not  yours ;  we  dun  nobody  and 
nobody  duns  us.  No  one  of  us  intends  to  burst 
the  blood-vessels  of  his  lungs  because  of  you. 
(jplacaiiyigly)  Oh,  you're  too  touchy :  my  remarks 
to  you  were  only  made  in  fun. 
(u7iappeased)  Consider  our  reply  to  you  made  in 
fun  likewise.^ 

You  know  the  situation;  I  explained  how  I  need 
your  help  with  this  pimp  who  has  made  game  of 
me  and  my  love  so  long,  and  how  we  plan  to  trap 
him  with  the  money  and  my  slave. 
We  know  all  that  already — if  only  these  spectators 
know.  It's  for  their  benefit  we're  doing  this  play 
here  now;  they're  the  ones  for  you  to  instruct,  so 
that  they'll  know  what  you're  doing  when  you  do 
it.  Don't  bother  about  us :  we  know  the  whole 
business,  seeing  we  all  learned  our  lines  along  with 
you,  so  as  to  be  able  to  talk  back  to  you. 
Very  true.  But  come  then,  so  that  I'll  know  you 
know,  quick,  tell  me  the  things  I  told  you  a  while 
ago. 

1  Vv.  543-546 : 
For  the  love  of  heaven,  do  me  the  service  of  a  speed-boat, 
not  a  barge.     Hobbleahoy  along,  anyhow — I'm  not  ex- 
pecting any  headlong  haste  from  you. 

If  you  want  to  do  anything  in  a  quiet,  leisurely  way,  we  are 
at  your  service;  if  you're  in  a  hurry,  you'd  better  bring 
runners  as  counsellors. 

^  JLeu  biuckoijb  foiiotvuig  et. 

55 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Adv.       Itane  ?   temptas  an  sciamus  ?   non  meminisse   nos 
ratu's, 
quo  modo  trecentos  Philippos  Collybisco  vilico 
dederis,  quos  deferret  hue  ad   lenonem  inimicum 

tuom, 
^  se  ut  assimularet  peregrinum  esse  aliunde  ex  alio 

oppido  ?  560 

ubi  is  detulerit,  tu  eo  quaesitum  servom  advenies 

tuom 
cum  pecunia. 
Ag.  Meministis  memoriter,  servastis  me. 

Adv.        lUe  negabit :   Milphionem  quaeri  censebit  tuom  ; 
id  duplicabit  omne  furtum.     leno  addicetur  tibi. 
ad  eam  rem  nos  esse  testis  vis  tibi. 
Ag.  Tenetis  rem. 

Adv.        Vix    quidem    hercle,    ita    pauxilla    est,    digitulis 

primoribus.2 
Ag.         Euge,  opportune  egrediuntur  Milphio  una  et  vilicus 
basilice  exornatus  incedit  et  fabre  ad  fallaciam. 

^  Leo  brackets  isqiie  preceding. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  567-575  : 
Ag.  Hoc  cito  et  cursim  est  agendum,     propera  iain  quantum  'potest. 

Adv.         Bene  vale  igitur.     te  advocates  meliust  ceteris  ducere  ; 

tardi  aumua  nos. 
Ag.  Optime  itis,  pessime  hercle  dicitis. 

quin  etiam  deciderint  vobis  femina  in  talcs  velim. 
Adv.         At  edepol  nos  tibi  in  lumbos  linguam  atque  oculos  in  solum. 
Ag.  Heia,  hau  vostrumst  iracundos  esse,  quod  dixi  ioco. 

Adv.         Nee  tuom  quidem  est  amicis  per  iocum  iniuste  loqui. 
Ag.  Mittite  istaec.     quid  velim  vos,  scitis. 

Adv.  Callemus  probe : 

lenonem  ut  periurum  perdas,  id  studes. 
Ag.  Tenetis  rem. 


56 


POENULUS 

So  ?  Testing  our  knowledge,  eh  ?     D'ye  suppose  we 

don't  remember  how  you  gave  bailiff  CoUybiscus 

three  hundred  pounds  for  him  to  take  to  your  enemy 

here,  the  pimp,  pretending  he's  a  stranger  from 

some  other  town  somewhere?     And  when  he  has 

taken  it,  you'll  arrive  in  search  of  your  slave  with 

your  money. 

Memorable  memories  !     You've  saved  me. 

He'll  deny  it,  think  it's  your  Milphio  you're  seeking ; 

this  will  double  the  whole  theft.     The  pimp  will 

be  adjudged  to  you.     You   wish  us  to  be  your 

witnesses  to  all  this. 

You  grasp  it. 

Gad,  barely,  with  our  finger-tips,  it's  such  a  small 

affair !  i 

(as  his  door  opens)  Splendid !  Out  come  Milphio  and 

bailiff    just     when     they're     wanted,    (surveying 

CoUybiscus)  That's  a  royal  get-up  he's  parading  in ! 

Suits  our  scheme  exactly. 

1  Vv.  567-575 : 
We  must  work  rapidly  and  push  this  through.    Hurry 
your  fastest  now. 

A  very  good  day  to  you,  then.     You  had  better  bring 
speedy  counsellors ;  we  are  slow. 

You're  excellent  walkers,  but,  oh  Lord,  such  rotten  talkers  ! 
Ugh  !     I'd  love  to  see  your  thighs  slip  to  your  ankles  ! 
Yes,  and  we,  by  gad,  to  see  your  tongue  slip  to  your  loins 
and  your  eyes  to  the  soles  of  your  feet ! 
There,  there  !     You  ought  not  to  get  angry  at  what  I  said 
in  joke. 

No,  nor  you  to  say  in  joke  things  that  insult  your  friends. 
Enough  of  this.     You  know  what  I  want  of  you. 
We're  thoroughly  grounded — to  ruin  the  perjured  pimp, 
that's  your  aim. 
You  grasp  it. 


57 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

III.  2. 

Mil.        lam  tenes  praecepta  in  corde  ? 

Coll.  Pulchre. 

Mil.  Vide  sis  calleas. 

Coll.       Quid  opust  verbis  ?  callum  aprugnum  callere  aeque 

non  sinam. 
Mil.        Fac   modo   ut   condoota   tibi   sint   dicta    ad    banc 

fallaciam.  580 

Coll.       Quin  edepol  condoctior  sum,  quam   tragoedi  aut 

comici. 
Mil.        Probus  homost. 
Ag.  Adeamus  propius. 

MU.  Adsunt  testes  ? 

Ag.  Tot  quidem. 

Mil.        Non  potuisti  adducere  homines  magis  ad  banc  rem 
idoneos. 
nam  istorum  nullus  nefastust ;  comitiales  sunt  meri ; 
ibi   habitant,   ibi   cos   conspicias   quam  praetorem 

saepius. 
hodie  iuris  coctiores  non  sunt  qui  lites  creant, 
quam  hi  sunt,  qui  si  nihil  est  quicum  htigent,  Utes 
emunt. 
Adv.       Di  te  perdant. 

Mil.  Vos  quidem  hercle — cum  eo  cum  quiqui  tamen 

et  bene  et  benigne  facitis,  quom  ero  amanti  operam 

datis. 
sed  isti  iam  sciunt,  negoti  quid  sit  ? 
Ag.  Omne  in  ordine.  590 

Mil.        Tum  vos  animimi  advortite  igitur.  hunc  vos  lenonem 
Lycum 
novistis  ? 
Adv.  Facile. 


58 


POENULUS 

kene  2.   enter  Milphio,  and  CollyUscus  in  foreign  regi- 
mentals. 

/.  {to  CoUyhiscus,  anxiously)  You  have  your  instruc- 
tions in  mind  now  ? 

II.       {nith  aplomb)  Entirely. 

/.        Do  see  that  you're  well-grounded. 

II.  Enough,  enough!  I'll  guarantee  I'm  better 
grounded  than  a  ground  hog. 

/.  Only  make  certain  your  part  in  this  scheme  is 
letter  perfect. 

U.  Yes,  Lord,  yes !  I'm  more  letter  perfect  than  any 
actor,  tragic  or  comic. 

/.        (kolf  aside)  A  capital  man ! 

(to  Counsellors)  Let's  get  nearer,  (approaches) 

I.  (seeing  him,  and  assuming  a  masterful  air)  Witnesses 
here? 
(rvith  a  nave)  Yes,  so  many. 

/.  (looking  them  over  contemptuously)  You  couldn't  have 
secured  more  suitable  men  for  this  affair.  VMiy, 
there  isn't  a  legal  holiday  amongst  'em;  they're 
court  room  fixtures;  there's  where  they  live,  you 
can  see  'em  there  oftener  than  the  judge  himself. 
The  very  framers  of  lawsuits  are  no  more  learned 
in  matters  of  maw  than  these  chaps.  If  they  have 
no  htigation  on  hand,  they  buy  some. 

uns.    You  be  damned ! 

7.  (vehemently)  Yes,  by  gad,  and  you — (pleasantly) 
are  in  any  case,  however,  acting  kindly  and  con- 
siderately in  helping  master  in  his  love  affair,  (to 
Agorastocles)  But  do  those  fellows  already  under- 
stand the  situation? 
From  end  to  end. 

II.  (to  Counsellors,  importantly)  Well  then,  accord  me 
your  attention.     You  know  this  pimp  Lycus  ? 

uns.    Rather. 

59 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Coll.  At  pol  ego  eum,  qua  sit  facie,  nescio. 

eum  mihi  volo  demonstretis  hominem. 
Adv.  Nos  curabimus. 

satis  praeceptumst. 
Ag.  Hie  trecentos  nummos  numerates  habet. 

Adv.       Ergo  nos  inspicere  oportet  istue  aurum,  Agorastocles,  595 

ut  sciamus  quid  dicamus  mox  pro  testimonio. 
Coll.       Agite,  inspicite. 
Adv.  Aurum  est  profecto  hoe,  spectator es,  comicum: 

macerate  hoc  pingues  fiunt  auro  in  barbaria  boves ; 

verum  ad  hanc  rem  agundam  Philippiun  est :  ita  nos 
adsimulabimus. 
Coll.       Sed  ita  adsimulatote  quasi  ego  sim  peregrinus. 
Adv.  Scilicet,  600 

et  quidem  quasi  tu  nobiscum  adveniens  hodie  oraveris, 

liberum  ut  commostraremus  tibi  locum  et  volup- 
tarium, 

ubi  ames,  potes,  pergraecere. 
Coll.  Eu,  edepol  mortales  malos. 

Ag.         Ego  enim  docui. 
Mil.  Quis  te  porro  ? 

Coll.  Agite  intro  abite,  Agorastocles, 

ne  hie  vos  mecum  conspicetur  leno  neu  fallaciae 

praepedimentum  obiciatur. 
Adv.  Hie  homo  sapienter  sapit. 

f. icite  quod  iubet. 
Ag.  Abeam  us.     sed  vos — 

Adv.  Satis  dictumst.    abi. 

Ag.         Abeo. 

Adv.  Quaeso,  di  immortales,  quin  abis  ? 

Ag.  Abeo. 

Adv.  Sapis. 

Coll.       St, 

tace. 

60 


POENULUS 

But  I  don't  even  know  what  he  looks  like.     I  want 

you  people  to  point  him  out  to  me. 

We'll  see  to  it.     We've  had  instruction  enough. 

This  man  (indicating  Collybiscus)  has  in  his  possession 

three  hundred  pounds  in  cash. 

Then  we  ought  to  inspect  that  money,  Agorastocles, 

so  as  to  give  intelligent  testimony  later  on. 

{opening  his  rvallet)  AH  right,  inspect. 

(looking,  then  to  audience)  This  is  certainly  money, 

spectators,   stage   money :     foreigners   soak   this 

money'^  and  use  it  to  fatten  oxen.     But  for  present 

purposes  it's  coin  of  the  realm — so  we'll  pretend. 

But  so  pretend  that  I'm  a  foreigner  myself. 

Of  course,  yes,  and  that  on  your  arrival  to-day  you 

begged  us  to  show  you  a  place  where  you  could 

feel  free  to  enjoy  yourself,  have  a  girl  and  a  bottle 

and  a  general  good  time. 

Wonderful !  My  word,  such  sly  ones  I 

(complacently)  Well,  I  tutored  them. 

(sourly)  Yes,  and  who  you  ? 

{nodding  to  Milphio  and  giving  Agorastocles  a  shove) 

You  two  get  busy  and  get  inside,  Agorastocles.  We 

don't  want  the  pimp  spying  you  here  with  me  and 

have  our  scheme  come  a  cropper. 

This  fellow  shows  sound  sense.     Do  as  he  orders. 

{to  Milphio)  Let's  be  off.  {to  Counsellors)  But  you — 

Enough  said!  Be  off! 

I'm  off.  {hesitates) 

{shoving  Mm)  Then  for  the  love  of  heaven,  why 

aren't  you  off? 

{reluctantly)  I  am  off. 

[exeunt  Agorastocles  and  Milphio. 
{as  they  disappear)  Sensible  of  you. 
{listening)  Sh-h!  Keep  still! 

1  Made  of  lupines. 

6i 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


Adv. 

Quid  est  ? 

Coll. 

Fores  hae  fecerunt  magnum  flagitiiun  modo. 

Adv. 

Quid  id  est  flagiti  ? 

Coll. 

Crepuerunt  clare. 

.idv. 

Di  te  perduint. 

pone  nos  recede. 

Coll. 

Fiat. 

Adv. 

Nos  prior es  ibimus. 

Coll. 

Faciunt    scurrae     quod     consuerunt :      pone     sese 

homines  locant. 

Adv. 

Illic  homo  est,  qui  egreditur,  leno. 

Coll. 

Bonus  est,  nam  similis  malist. 

iam   nunc  ego  illi   egredienti  san^uinem  exsugam 

procul. 

III.  3. 

Ujc. 

Iam  ego  istuc  revortar,  miles  :  convivas  volo 

reperire  nobis  commodos,  qui  una  sient ; 

interibi  attulerint  exta,  atque  eadem  mulieres 

iam  ab  re  divina  credo  apparebunt  domi. 

sed  quid  hue  tantum  hominum  incedunt  ?  ecquidnam 
adferunt  ? 

et  ille  chlamydatus  quisnam  est,  qui  sequitur  procul .''  620 
Adv.        Aetoli  cives  te  salutamus,  Lyce, 

quamquam  hanc  salutem  ferimus  inviti  tibi. 
l.yc.        Fortunati  omnes  sitis,  quod  certo  scio 

nee  fore  nee  fortunam  id  situram  fieri. 
Adv.        Istic  est  thensaurus  stultis  in  lingua  situs, 

ut  quaestui  habeant  male  loqui  melioribus. 

62 


POENULUS 

WTiat  is  it  ? 

This  door  (indicating  Lycus'  house)  just  did  some- 
thing perfectly  dreadful. 
Dreadful?    What? 
It  let  out  a  loud  rumble. 

You  be  damned !  (as  Lycus'  door  opens)  Get  in  the 
rear! 

(doing  so)  All  right. 
We'll  go  ahead. 

(to  audience)  City  rakes  at  their  old  game — men  in 
the  rear. 

(as  Lycus  appears  in  his  doorway)  That  man  stepping 
out  is  the  pimp. 

Must  be  a  good  one,  with  that  evil  look.  Then  it's 
that  man  stepping  out  whose  blood  I'll  now  proceed 
to  suck  without  getting  near  him. 

Scene  3.  enter  Lycus. 

Lye.  (to  Antamonides  nitkin)  I'll  soon  be  there  again, 
warrior:  I  want  to  find  some  pleasant  fellows  to 
join  our  party.  Meanwhile  the  sacrificial  meat 
should  arrive,  and  the  girls  too,  no  doubt,  ^\ill  soon 
be  back  from  worship  and  on  hand  at  home,  (sees 
the  group  down  the  street)  But  why  is  that  gang 
marching  up  here  ?  Bringing  something,  are 
they?  And  who  on  earth's  that  chap  in  the 
military  cloak  following  away  behind? 

Couns.  (ironically)  We  citizens  of  Aetolia  bid  you  good- 
morning,  Lycus,  although  the  good-morning  we 
give  you  is  not  what  we  wish  you. 

Lye.  (in  the  same  tone)  And  may  all  of  you  be  fortunate, 
as  I  know  for  sure  you  will  not  be,  or  be  allowed 
by  Fortune  to  be. 

Couns.  A  fool's  funds  being  in  his  tongue,  he  makes  his 
investments  by  abusing  his  betters. 

63 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Lye.        Viam  qui  nescit,  qua  deveniat  ad  mare, 

eum  oportet  amnem  quaerere  comitem  sibi 

ego  male  loquendi  vobis  nescivi  viam  : 

nunc  vos  mihi  amnes  estis  ;  vos  certum  est  sequi :      630 

si  bene  dicetis,  vostra  ripa  vos  sequar, 

si  male  dicetis,  vostro  gradiar  limite. 
Adv.        Malo  bene  facere  tantundemst  periculum 

quantiun  bono  male  facere. 
Lye.  Qui  vero  ? 

Adv.  Scies. 

malo  si  quid  bene  facias,^  beneficium  interit ; 

bono  si  quid  male  facias,  aetatem  expetit. 
Lye.        Facete  dictum,     sed  quid  istuc  ad  me  attinet  ? 
Adv.        Quia  nos  honoris  tui  causa  ad  te  venimus, 

quamquam  bene  volumus  leniter  lenonibus. 
Lye.        Si  quid  boni  adportatis,  habeo  gratiam.  640 

Adv.        Boni  de  nostro  tibi  nee  ferimus  nee  damus 

neque  pollicemur,  neque  adeo  volumus  datum. 
Lye.        Credo  hercle  vobis  :  ita  vestra  est  benignitas. 

sed  quid  nunc  voltis  ? 
Adv.  Hunc  chlamydatum  quem  vides, 

ei  Mars  iratust. 
Coll.  Capiti  vestro  istuc  quidem. 

Adv.        Nunc  hunc,  Lyce,  ad  te  diripiundum  adducimus. 
Coll.        Cum  praeda  hie  hodie  incedet  venator  domum : 

canes  compellunt  in  plagas  lepide  lupum. 
Lye.        Quis  hie  est  ? 
Adv.  Nescimus  nos  quidem  istum  qui  siet ; 

nisi  dudum  mane  ut  ad  portum  processimus,  650 

^  Leo  brackets  following  id. 


^  Aeiutem  expetit  seemingly  of  double  meaning  :  "  lasts  for 
life  "  and  "  molests  a  man." 

64 


POENULUS 

A  man  who  does  not  know  the  way  to  the  sea  ought 
to  seek  a  river  to  accompany  him.  I  did  not  know  the 
way  to  abuse  of  you  :  now  you  are  rivers  for  me — I 
intend  to  follow  you.  If  you  are  affable,  I  shall 
follow  your  bank ;  if  you  are  abusive,  I  shall  keep 
to  your  course. 

{rejiectively)  Doing  a  bad  man  a  good  turn  is  quite 
as  dangerous  as  doing  a  good  man  a  bad  turn. 
Really .''  And  how  so  ? 

You  shall  learn.     A  good  turn  done  to  a  bad  man 
is  a  good  turn  dead  and  gone ;   a  bad  turn  done  to 
a  good  man  is  a  bad  turn  alive  and  after  you.^ 
(sarcastically)  Very    clever!  But    how    does    that 
pertain  to  me  ? 

Because  we  came  out  of  interest  in  you,  although 
we  have  but  lukewarm  love  for  pimps. 
{warily)  Much  obliged,  if  you  bring  me  something 
good. 

Nothing  good  of  our  own  do  we  bring  you,  or  give 
you,  or  promise  you,  or,  for  that  matter,  wish  you  to 
get. 

By  gad,  I  believe  you :  such  is  your  benevolence. 
But  what  do  you  want  now? 

This  chap  you  see  in  the  military  cloak — he's  under 
the  curse  of  Mars. 

(aside  to  Counsellors)  Just  you  keep  it  for  your- 
selves ! 

(yviih  a  grim  smile)  Now  we  are  marcliing  him  up 
for  you  to  be  mangled,  Lycus. 

(aside,  chuckling)  This  hunter  here  will  wend  his 
way  home  to-day  with  some  game :   the  dogs  are 
driving  the  wolf  nicely  into  the  nets. 
(to  Counsellors)  Who  is  he  ? 

We  really  can't  tell  you ;  all  we  know  is  that  when 
we  hied  us  to  the  harbour  earlier  this  morning  we 

65 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

atque  istum  e  navi  exeuntem  oneraria 

videmus.     adiit  ad  nos  extemplo  exiens ; 

salutat,  respondemus. 
Coll.  Mortalis  malos, 

ut  ingrediuntur  docte  in  sycophantiam. 
Lye.        Quid  deinde  ? 
Adv.  Sermonem  ibi  nobiscum  copulat. 

ait  se  peregrinum  esse  huius  ignarum  oppidi ; 

locum  sibi  velle  liberum  praeberier, 

ubi  nequam  faciat.     nos  hominem  ad  te  adduximus. 

tu  si  te  di  amant,  agere  tuam  rem  occasiost. 
Lye.        Itane  ? 

Adv.  lUe  est  eupiens,  aurum  habet. 

Lye.  Praeda  haec  meast.  660 

Adv.        Potare,  amare  volt. 

Lye.  Locum  lepidum  dabo. 

Adv.        At  enim  hie  clam  furtim  esse  volt,  ne  quis  sciat 

neve  arbiter  sit.     nam  hie  latro  in  Sparta  fuit, 

ut  quidem  ipse  nobis  dixit,  apud  regem  Attalum ; 

inde  hue  aufugit,  quoniam  capitur  oppidum. 
Coll.       Nimis  lepide  de  latrone,  de  Sparta  optume. 
Lye.        Di  deaeque  vobis  multa  bona  dent,  quom  mihi 

et  bene  praecipitis  et  bonam  praedam  datis. 
Adv.        Immo  ut  ipse  nobis  dixit,  quo  accures  magis, 

trecentos  nummos  Philippos  portat  praesidi.  670 

Lye.        Rex  sum,  si  ego  ilium  hodie  ad  me  hominem  adlexero. 
Adv.        Quin  hie  quidem  tuos  est. 
Lye.  Opsecro  hercle  hortamini, 

ut  devortatur  ad  me  in  hospitium  optumum. 


66 


POENULUS 

saw  him  disembarking  from  a  merchantman.  He 
made  for  us  the  moment  he  disembarked ;  he 
greeted  us  and  we  him. 

Coll.  (aside)  Wily  ones !  The  way  they  enter  into  this 
swindle  shows  training. 

Lye.       What  next? 

Courts.  Tlien  he  engaged  in  conversation  with  us.  Said 
he  was  a  foreigner,  unacquainted  with  this  to\\'n ; 
wanted  to  be  furnished  a  place  where  he  could  feel 
free  to  disport  himself.  We  marched  him  off  to 
you.  And  you — if  the  gods  are  with  you,  here 
is  your  chance  to  do  yourself  good. 

Lye.        (still  a  bit  doubtful)  So  ? 

Courts.    He's  eager  for  it,  has  money. 

Lye.        (aside,  narmirtg  up)  Here's  a  sucker  for  me ! 

Courts.    Wants  to  drink  and  wench. 

Lye.        (eagerly)  I  have  a  perfect  place  for  him. 

Courts.  But  he  wants  privacy,  to  lie  low  here  without  any- 
one knowing  or  spying.  You  see  he  was  a  mer- 
cenary in  Sparta — so  he  himself  told  us — serving 
with  king  Attalus ;  the  town  being  captured,  he 
fled  and  came  here. 

Coll.  (aside)  Mercenary !  Pretty  point,  that !  And 
Sparta — that's   choice  ! 

Lye.  (jubilant)  Heaven  give  you  everv'thing  that's  fine, 
for  giving  me  this  fine  suggestion  and  this  fine 
sucker ! 

Courts.  Sucker  ?  Why,  as  he  himself  told  us — this  to  make 
you  the  more  solicitous — he's  succoured  himself 
by  three  hundred  pounds  he  carries. 

Lye.  I'm  a  king,  if  I  can  only  lure  the  chap  into  my 
house  to-day. 

Courts.    Oh,  he  is  yours  all  right. 

Lye.  For  heaven's  sake,  do  persuade  him  to  put  up  with 
me  and  enjoy  my  excellent  hospitality. 

67 


TITUS  MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Adv.        Neque  nos  hortari  neque  dehortari  decet 

hominem  peregrinum  :   tuam  rem  tu  ages,  si  sapis. 

nos  tibi  palumbem  ad  aream  usque  adduximus : 

nunc  te  ilium  meliust  capere,  si  captum  esse  vis. 
Coll.        lamne  itis  ?     quid  quod  vobis  mandavi,  hospites  ? 
Adv.        Cum  illoc  te  meliust  tuam  rem,  adulescens,  loqui : 

illic  est  ad  istas  res  probus,  quas  quaeritas.  680 

Coll.       Videre  equidem  vos  vellem,  quom  huic  aurum  darem. 
Adv.        lUinc  procul  nos  istue  inspectabimus. 
Coll.        Bonam  dedistis  mihi  operam. 
Li/c.  It  ad  me  lucrum. 

Coll.        Illud  quidem  quorsum  asinus  caedit  calcibus. 
Lye.        Blande  hominem  compellabo.     hospes  hospitem 

salutat.     salvom  te  advenire  gaudeo. 
Coll.        Multa  tibi  di  dent  bona,  quom  me  salvom  esse  vis. 
Lifc.        Hospitium  te  aiunt  quaeritare. 
Coll.  Quaerito. 

Lye.        Ita  illi  dixerunt,  qui  hinc  a  me  abierunt  modo. 

te  quaeritare  a  muscis. 
Coll.  Minime  gentium.  690 

Lye.        Quid  ita  ? 
Coll.  Quia  a  muscis  si  mi  hospitium  quaererem, 

adveniens  irem  in  carcerem  recta  via. 

ego  id  quaero  hospitium,  ubi  ego  curer  mollius, 

quam  regi  Antiocho  oculi  curari  solent. 


68 


POENULUS 

It  does  not  become  us  to  persuade  or  dissuade  a 
stranger:  you  will  see  to  your  own  welfare,  if  you 
are  wise.  We  have  drawn  the  dove  to  the  very 
fowling-floor  for  you :  now  you  had  better  take 
care  of  his  catching  yourself,  if  a  catch  is  what  you 
want,  {they  move  away) 

(calling  to  them)  Going  so  soon?  How  about  that 
affair  of  mine,  friends  ? 

[pointing  to  Lycus)  Better  talk  over  your  case  with 
him,  sir:  he  is  an  excellent  man,  for  the  things 
you  are  after. 

(aside  to  Counsellors)  I  say,  you  should  be  here  to 
see  when  I  give  him  the  money. 
(aside  to  Collyhiscus)  We'll  be  watching  it  all  from 
away  over  there. 

(aloud  to  Counsellors  as  he  approaches  Lycus)  You 
have  been  most  kind. 
(in  a  low  tone)  My  loot's  coming  to  me! 
(aside)  Yes,  coming  the  same  way  as  the  kick  of 
an  ass. 

(aside)  Now  for  a  smooth  salutation !  (aloud,  cordi- 
ally) Welcome  from  host  to  guest,  sir!  I  am 
glad  to  see  you  arriving  well ! 

(condescendingly)  And  may  the  gods  be  very  good 
to  you,  sir,  since  you  wish  me  well. 
They  say  you  are  looking  for  lodgings. 
I  am. 

And  lodgings,  so  said  those  gentlemen  who  just 
now  left  me,  free  from  (winking)  flies. 
(with  an  austere  smile)  Not  in  the  least. 
(surprised)  How  so  ? 

Because  if  I  were  looking  for  lodgings  free  from 
flies,  I  should  go  straight  to  the  gaol  on  my  arrival. 
(Lycus  is  much  amused)  The  lodgings  I  look  for  are 
the  sort  where  I'll  be  treated  more  tenderly  than 
the  very  eyes  of  King  Antiochus. 

69 


TITUS    MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Lye.        Edepol  ne  tibi  illud  possum  festivom  dare, 
siquidem  potes  esse  te  pati  in  lepido  loco, 
in  lecto  lepide  strato  lepidam  mulierem 
complexum  contrectare. 

Coll.  Is,  leno,  viam. 

Lye.        Vbi  tu  Leucadio,  Lesbio,  Thasio,  Chio, 

vetustate  vino  edentulo  aetatem  inriges ;  700 

ibi  ego  te  replebo  usque  unguentum  geumatis, 

quid  multa  verba?   faciam,  ubi  tu  laveris, 

ibi  ut  balneator  faciat  unguentariam. 

sed  haec  latrocinantur,  quae  ego  dixi,  omnia. 

Coll.        Quid  ita  ? 

Lye.  Quia  aurum  poscunt  praesentarium. 

Coll.        Quin  hercle  aceipere  tu  non  mavis  quam  ego  dare. 

Adv.       Quid  si  evocemus  hue  foras  Agorastoelem, 
ut  ipsus  testis  sit  sibi  certissumus  ? 
heus  tu,  qui  furem  captas,  egredere  ocius, 
ut  tute  inspectes  aurum  lenoni  dari.  710 

III.  4. 

Ag.         Quid  est  ?     quid  voltis,  testes  ? 

Adv.  Specta  ad  dexteram. 

tuos  servos  aurum  ipsi  lenoni  dabit. 
Coll.        Age,  accipe  hoc  sis  :  hie  sunt  numerati  aurei 

trecenti  nummi,  qui  vocantur  Philippei. 

hinc  me  procura ;  propere  hosce  apsumi  vole. 
Lye.        Edepol  fecisti  prodigum  promum  tibi. 

age,  eamus  intro. 
Coll.  Te  sequor. 

70 


POENULUS 

Gad,  sir,  and  it's  just  that  jolly  sort  of  lodgings  I 
can  give  you,  that  is,  if  you  can  endure  being  in  a 
nice  nook  on  a  nicely  cushioned  couch  with  a  nice 
little  lady  to  love. 
You  are  on  the  right  road,  pimp. 
Where  you  can  bedew  your  soul  with  wine — Lcuca- 
dian,  Lesbian,  Thasian,  Cliian — toothless  with  time. 
And  perfumes — I'll  simply  shower  you  with  them! 
In  short,  I'll  have  the  bathman  making  a  perfumery 
shop  of  your  bathroom.     But  all  these  words  of 
mine  are  (smirking)  in  the  army. 
How  is  that  ? 

Because  they  clamour  for  the  pay-roll. 
(reaching  for  his  icallet)  Oh,  as  for  that,  you  are  no 
readier  to  receive  than  I  to  give. 
,  (aside)  How  about  calling  Agorastocles  out,  so 
that  he  can  be  his  owti  star  witness  ?  (going  to 
his  door)  Hey,  you  thief-catcher,  quick,  out  with 
you,  so  as  to  watch  the  pimp  get  the  money 
yourself! 

4.    ENTER  Agorastocles  into  his  doorway,  anxiously. 

(aside  to  Counsellors)  What  is  it?     Wliat  do  you 

want,  witnesses .'' 

Cast  your  eyes  to  the  right.     Your  slave  will  be 

giving  the  money  to  the  pimp  in  person. 

Come,  kindly  take  this,  (hands  Lycus  the  rvallet) 

Here  are  three  hundred  pounds  in  cash — Philippes 

d'or,  they  are  called.     Look  after  me  out  of  this ; 

I  want  it  spent  speedily. 

(delightedly)  Man,    man,    you've    got    yourself   a 

bountiful  butler !     Come,  let's  go  in.  (steps  towards 

his  house) 

(lingering  and  glancing  at  the  others)  I  am  following 

you. 

71 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

I^yc.  Age,  age,  ambula, 

ibi,  quae  reliqua,  alia  fabulabimur. 
Coll.        Eadem  narrabo  tibi  res  Spartiaticas. 
Lye.        Quill  sequere  me  ergo. 

Coll.  Abduc  Intro,    addictum  tencs.   720 

Ag.  Quid  nunc  mi  auctores  estis  ? 

Adv.  Vt  frugi  sies. 

Ag.  Quid  si  animus  esse  non  sinit  ? 

Adv.  Esto  ut  sinit. 

Ag.         Vidistis,  leno  quom  aurum  accepit  ? 
Adv.  Vidimus. 

Ag.  Eum  vos  meum  esse  servom  scitis  ? 

Adv.  Scivimus. 

Ag.  Rem  adversus  populi  saepe  leges  ? 

Adv.  Scivimus. 

Ag.         Em  istaec  volo  ergo  vos  commeminisse  omnia, 

mox  quom  ad  praetorem  usus  veniet. 
Adv.  Meminimus. 

Ag.  Quid  si  recenti  re  aedis  pultem  ? 

Adv.  Censco. 

Ag.         Si  pultem,  non  recludet? 
Adv.  Panem  frangito. 

Ag.  Si  exierit  leno,  quid  tum  ?   hominem  interrogem,        730 

meus  servos  ad  eum  veneritne  ? 
Adv.  Quippini  ?  ^ 

1  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  732-735  : 
Ag.  Cum  auri  ducentis  niunmis  Philippis  ? 

Adr.  Quippini  t 

Ag.  Ibi  extemplo  leno  errahit. 

Adv.  Qua  dz  re  ? 

Ag.  Rogas  ? 

quia  centum  nummis  minus  dicetur. 
Adv.  Bene  putas. 

Ag.  Alium  censebit  quaeritari. 

Adv.  Scilicet. 

1  Pultem  (knock),  pultem  (pottage). 
«  Vv.  732-735  : 
Ag.  With  two  hundred  pounds  T 

72 


POENULUS 

(seizing   his   arm)  Come,    come,    sir,    step    along! 

We'll  talk  over  remaining  details  in  there. 

I  shall  inform  you  of  Spartiean  affairs,  as  well. 

Yes,  yes,  follow  me,  then ! 

Lead  me  in.  {good-humouredly ,  tvith  a  covert  tvink  at 

the  others)  In  me  you  have  a  slave. 

[exeunt. 
(to  Counsellors)  What  do  you  recommend  now  ? 
(coldly)  That  you  act  properly. 
\\Tiat  if  my  inward  state  does  not  permit  ? 
Act  as  it  does  permit. 

{assuming   a  court-room   tone)  You   saw   the   pimp 
taking  the  money  ? 
We  did. 

You  knowing  the  man  to  be  my  slave? 
Yes. 

And  that  it  was  against  laws  repeatedly  framed  by 
the  people? 
Yes. 

There  !  Now  then,  I  want  you  to  remember  all  that 
when  it's  needed  later  before  the  judge. 
Remembered. 

What  if  I  batter  the  door  {glancing  at  Lycus'  house) 
while  the  offence  is  fresh  ? 
I  approve. 

And  if  he  pays  no  attention  to  the  batter  ?  ^ 
{much  bored)  Then  his  cake  is  dough.^ 
If  the  pimp  appears,  what  then  ?     Should  I  inquire 
of  the  fellow  if  my  slave  came  to  his  house  ? 
Why  not?  2 

Why  not  ? 

Then  the  pimp  will  be  thrown  off  the  track  at  once. 

Why? 

Why  ?     Because  that  sum  will  be  a  hundred  pounds  less. 

A  happy  thought. 

He'll  suppose  another  man  is  in  question. 

To  be  sure. 

73 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ag.         Extemplo  denegabit. 

Adv.  luratus  quidem. 

Ag.  Homo  furti  sese  adstringet. 

Adv.  Hau  dubium  id  quidemst. 

Ag.         Quantum  quantum  ad  eum  erit  delatum. 

Adv.  Quippini  ? 

Ag.         Diespiter  vos  perduit. 

Adv.  Te  quippini  ? 

Ag.         Ibo  et  pultabo  ianuam  iam. 

Adv.  Quippini  ?  740 

Ag.         Tacendi  tempus  est,  nam  crepuerunt  fores. 

foras  egrediri  video  lenonem  Lycum. 

adeste  quaeso. 
Adv.  Quippini  ?  ^  si  voles 

operire  capita,  ne  nos  leno  noverit, 

qui  illi  malae  rei  tantae  fuimus  inlices. 

III.  5. 

Lye.        Suspendant  omnes  nunciam  se  haruspices, 

quam  ego  illis  posthae  quod  loquantur  creduam, 

qui  in  re  divina  dudum  dicebant  mihi 

malum  damnumque  maximum  portendier : 

is  explicavi  meam  rem  postilla  lucro.  750 

Ag.         Salvos  sis,  leno. 

Lye.  Di  te  ament,  Agorastocles. 

Ag.  Magis  me  benigne  nunc  salutas  quam  antidhac. 

Li/c.        Tranquillitas  evenit,  quasi  navi  in  mari : 

utquomque  est  ventus,  exim  velum  vortitur. 

Ag.         Valeant  apud  te  quos  volo  ;  atque  haud  te  volo. 

Lye.        Valent  ut  postulatiunst,  verum  non  tibi. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  sine  si  Geppcrt. 

74 


POENULUS 

iAg.         Hell  deny  it  forthwith. 
jCouns.    Yes,  on  oath. 
A^.         He'll  involve  himself  in  theft. 
Conns.    Yes,  no  doubt. 
As.         Theft  of  all  that  was  brought  him. 
Conns.    Why  not  ? 
Ag.         (angered  at  their  contempttiousness)    Be  damned  to 

you ! 
Couns.    To  you — why  not? 
Arr.         I'll  go  and  batter  his  door  directly. 
iCouns.    WTiy  not? 
Ag.         (listening  and  looking  at  Lycus'  house)  Time  to  keep 

still !     His  door  creaked !     I  see  pimp  Lycus  coming 

out.     Now  do  stand  by  me ! 
Couns.    Why  not?     You  may  wish  to  cover  our  heads,  so 

that  the  pimp  won't  know  us  for  the  men  who  lured 

him  into  such  a  mess. 

Scene  5.  exter  Lycus  wrra  the  wallet,  not  seeing  them. 

Lye.  (JuhilarUly)  The  priests  can  all  go  hang  this  in- 
stant for  any  credence  I  give  their  statements  from 
now  on — with  their  telling  me  the  sacrifice  a  while 
ago  showed  I  was  in  for  some  terrible  trouble  and 
loss.  And  the  next  thing  I  go  and  make  no  end  of 
money. 

Ag.         {^stepping  up)  Good-day,  pimp. 

Lye.        {genially)  God  bless  you,  Agorastocles. 

Ag.  That's  a  kindlier  greeting  than  you've  given  me 
heretofore. 

Lye.  There's  a  cahn  now,  just  as  for  a  ship  at  sea;  sails 
are  shifted  to  suit  the  wind. 

Ag.  {politely)  I  hope  your  household  enjoys  good  health 
— those  I  wish  it  for ;  as  I  do  not  for  you. 

Lye.  {in  the  same  tone)  They  do  enjoy  good  health,  thanks, 
but  not  for  you. 

75 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ag.         Mitte  ad  me,  si  audes,  hodie  Adelphasium  tuam, 
die  festo  celebri  nobilique  Aphrodisiis. 

Lye.        Calidum  prandisti  prandium  hodie  ?  die  mihi. 

Ag.         Quid  iam  ? 

Lye.  Quia  os  nunc  frigefactas,  quom  rogas.      760 

Ag.         Hoc  age  sis,  leno.     servom  esse  audivi  meum 
apud  te. 

Lye.  Apud  me  ?  numquam  factum  reperies. 

Ag.  Mentire.     nam  ad  te  venit  aurumque  attulit. 

ita  mihi  renuntiatumst,  quibus  credo  satis. 

Lye.        Malus  es,  captatum  me  advenis  cum  testibus. 
tuorum  apud  me  nemost  nee  quicquam  tui. 

Ag.         Mementote  illud,  advocati. 

Adv.  Meminimus. 

Lye.        Hahahae,  iam  teneo  quid  sit,  perspexi  mode, 
hi  qui  ilium  dudum  conciliaverunt  mihi 
peregrinum  Spartanum,  id  nunc  his  cerebrum  uritur,  770 
me  esse  hos  trecentos  Philippos  facturum  lucri. 
nunc  hunc  inimicum  quia  esse  sciverunt  mihi, 
eum  adlegarunt,  suom  qui  servom  diceret 
cum  auro  esse  apud  me ;  compositast  fallacia, 
ut  eo  me  privent  atque  inter  se  dividant. 
lupo  agnum  eripere  postulant,     nugas  agunt. 

Ag.         Negasne  apud  te  esse  aurum,  nee  servom  meum  ? 

76 


POENULUS 

Be  so  good  as  to  send  me  your  Adelphasium  to-day, 
this  being  the  festal  day,  worshipful  and  glorious, 
of  the  Aphrodisia. 

(fviih  an  air  of  concern)  Was  your  luncheon  at  lunch 
to-day  hot  ?    Tell  me. 
Why  do  you  ask  ? 

Because  by  this  request  you  appear  to  be  cooling 
your  chops. 

(sternly)  Pimp,    your    attention,    please.     I    have 
heard  that  my  slave  is  at  your  house. 
{indignantly)  At    my    house?     You'll    never    find 
that's  so. 

You  he.  For  he  came  to  you  and  brought  you 
money.  I  have  this  information  from  men  I  fully 
trust,  (nodding  toward  the  Counsellors) 
(net  recognizing  them  in  his  anger)  You  villain ! 
Coming  here  to  catch  me  with  witnesses !  There's 
not  a  slave  of  yours  or  anything  of  yours  at  my 
house. 

(significantly  to  Counsellors,  who  come  closer)  Remem- 
ber that,  Counsellors. 
Remembered, 

(looking  at  them,  then  aside)  Ha !  ha !  ha !  Now  I've 
got  it,  I've  just  seen  through  it!  These  are  the 
fellows  who  recommended  me  to  that  foreigner 
from  Sparta  a  while  ago,  and  now  it  makes  them  hot 
to  think  I'm  going  to  clean  up  this  three  hundred 
pounds.  Now  knowing  this  chap's  (glancing  at 
Agorastocles)  an  enemy  of  mine,  they've  insti- 
gated him  to  say  his  slave's  at  my  house  with 
money.  It's  a  plot  hatched  up  to  do  me  out  of 
this  and  divide  it  amongst  themselves,  (chuckling) 
They  expect  to  tear  a  lamb  from  a  wolf !  Rubbish ! 
You  deny  having  my  money  at  your  house,  and  my 
slave  ? 

77 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Lye.        Nego  :   et  negando,  si  quid  refert,  ravio. 

Adv.        Periisti,  leno.     nam  istest  huius  vilicus 

quem  tibi  nos  esse  Spartiatam  diximus,  780 

qui  ad  te  trecentos  Philippeos  modo  detulit. 
idque  in  istoc  adeo  aurum  inest  marsuppio. 

Lye.        Vae  vostrae  aetati. 

Adv.  Id  quidem  in  mundo  est  tuae. 

Ag.         Age  omitte  actutum,  furcifer,  marsuppium  : 

manifesto  fur  es  mihi.     quaeso  heroic,  operam  date, 
dum  me  videatis  servom  ab  hoc  abducere. 

Lye.        Nunc  pol  ego  perii  certo,  haud  arbitrario. 

consulto  hoc  factum  est,  mihi  ut  insidiae  fierent. 
sed  quid  ego  dubito  fugere  hinc  in  malam  crucem, 
prius  quam  hinc  optorto  coUo  ad  praetorem  trahor  ?   790 
eheu,  quom  ego  habui  hariolos  haruspices ; 
qui  si  quid  bene  promittunt,  perspisso  evenit, 
id  quod  mali  promittunt,  praesentarium  est. 
nunc  ibo,  amicos  consulam,  quo  me  modo 
suspendere  aequom  censeant  potissimum. 

III.  6. 

Ag.         Age  tu  progredere,  ut  ^  videant  te  ire  istinc  foras. 

estne  hie  meus  servos  ? 
Coll.  Sum  hercle  vero,  Agorastocles. 

Ag.         Quid  nunc,  sceleste  leno  ? 
Adv.  Quiciun  litigas 

apscessit. 
Ag.  Vtinam  hinc  abierit  malam  crucem. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  testes. 

78 


POENULUS 

I  do  deny  it,  deny  it  till  I'm  hoarsified,  if  that  helps. 
(closing  in  on  him)  Pimp,  you  are  done  for.     That 
fellow  we  told   you  was  a  Spartan,  that  brought 
you  three  hundred  pounds  just  now,  happens  to  be 
this  gentleman's  bailiff.     And  there  is  the  very 
money  (pointing)  in  that  wallet. 
(aghast)  Oh-h,  damnation  to  you ! 
Precisely  what  is  in  readiness  for  you. 
(seising    Lycus)   Come,   you    criminal,   drop    that 
wallet    this    instant!     (takes    it)  You're    a    thief, 
caught  in  the  act !   (to  Counsellors)  Now,  sirs,  give 
me  your  attention,  I  beg  you,  and  witness  my 
taking  my  slave  away  from  him.    [exit  into  house 

OF  Lycus. 
(aside)  Oh,  Lord!  Now  I  am  done  for,  no  doubting 
it,  no  mistaking  it !  This  was  all  prearranged  to 
trap  me !  But  why  don't  I  hurry  up  and  escape 
from  here  and  go — (wryly)  hang,  before  I'm  dragged 
from  here  to  the  judge  with  my  neck  in  a  noose? 
Oh  dear !  When  I  had  soothsayers,  seers !  Why, 
if  they  promise  you  something  good,  it  comes  at 
a  sub-crawl,  but  anything  bad  they  promise,  you 
get  that  on  the  spot.  Well,  I'll  go  and  consult  my 
friends  as  to  the  most  approved  method  of  strangling 
myself.  [exit,  the  Counsellors  worrvixg  him. 

6.       re-enter  Agorastocles,  pushing  Collybiscus. 

(to  Collybiscus,  busily  eating)  Come,  you,  step  along, 
so  that  they  can  see  you  walking  out  of  there. 
(to  Counsellors)  Is  not  this  my  slave  ? 
(between  mouthfuls)  Gad,  I  certainly  am,  Agoras- 
tocles. 

What  now,  you  rascally  pimp  ? 
,    (still  brusque)  Your  opponent  has  departed. 
With  the  gallows  his  destination,  I  hope ! 

79 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Adv.        Ita  nos  velle  aequom  est. 

Ag.  Cras  subscribam  homini  dicam.  800 

Coll.        Numquid  me  ? 

Ag.  Apscedas,  sumas  ornatum  tuom. 

Coll.        Non  sum  nequiquam  miles  factus  ;  paululum 

praedae  intus  feci :  dum  lenonis  familia 

dormitat,  extis  sum  satur  factus  probe. 

abscedam  hinc  intro. 
Ag.  Factum  a  vobis  comiter. 

bonam  dedistis,  advocati,  operam  mihi. 

cras  mane,  quaeso,  in  comitio  estote  obviam. 

tu  sequere  me  intro.     vos  valete. 
Adv.  Et  tu  vale. 

iniuriam  illic  insignite  postulat : 

nostro  servire  nos  sibi  censet  cibo.  810 

verum  ita  sunt  ^  isti  nostri  divites  : 

si  quid  bene  facias,  levior  pluma  est  gratia, 

si  quid  peccatiunst,  plumbeas  Iras  gerunt. 

domos  abeamus  nostras,  sultis,  nunciam, 

quando  id,  quoi  rei  operam  dedimus,  impetravimus, 

ut  perderemus  corruptorem  civiimi. 


ACTVS      IV 

Mil.        Exspecto  quo  pacto  meae  techinae  processurae  sient. 
studeo   hunc   lenonem    perdere,    qui   meum   erum 

miserum  macerat, 
is  me  autem  porro  verberat,incursatpugnis,calcibus  : 
servire  amanti  miseria  est,  praesertim  qui  quod  amat 
caret.  820 

*  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  morati  Palmer. 

8o 


POENULUS 

We  should  have  the  same  wish. 
To-morrow  I  shall  bring  action  against  the  fellow. 
Anything  more  of  me  ? 
(curtly)  Be  off,  get  into  your  own  outfit. 
(aside)  It  wasn't  for  nothing  they  made  me  a  soldier ; 
I  got  my  bit  of  booty  in  there.     While  the  pimp's 
household  napped,  I  filled  up  finely  on  the  sacri- 
ficial meat.     Well,  I'll  be  off  inside. 

[exit  into  Agorastocles'  house. 
(to  Counsellors,  after  thoughtfully  surveying  the  wallet) 
You  have  been  most  courteous.  That  was  good 
service  you  did  me.  Counsellors,  (pauses,  again  sur- 
veying the  wallet,  the  Counsellors  expectant)  Now 
kindly  meet  me  at  the  Comitium  to-morrow  morn- 
ing, (forgetting  Collybiscus  has  gone)  Follow  me 
inside,  you.  (to  Counsellors)  Good-day  to  you. 

[exit. 
(sourly)  And  to  you,  good-day  !  It's  infamous  the 
injustice  he  wants  to  do  us — counts  on  our  serving 
him  at  our  own  expense!  But  that's  the  way 
with  those  plutocrats  of  ours :  do  well  by  'em,  and 
their  thanks  weigh  less  than  a  feather ;  do  poorly, 
and  their  wTath  is  a  load  of  lead.  Come  on  now, 
let's  go  home,  seeing  we  have  achieved  our  end 
and  sent  to  smash  this  corrupter  of  the  citizens. 

[exeunt. 

ACT  IV 

ENTER   Milphio. 

I'm  waiting  to  hear  how  my  plot  progresses.  I 
just  yearn  to  smash  this  pimp  that's  mauhng  my 
wretched  master,  who  then  proceeds  to  lay  into  me 
with  whips  and  fists  and  feet.  It's  awful  slaving  it 
for  a  man  in  love,  especially  if  he  hasn't  got  his 

8i 


TITUS    MACCIUS    PLAUTUS 

attat,  e  fano  recipere  video  se  Syncerastum, 
lenonis  servom ;   quid  habeat  sermonis  auscultabo. 

IV.  2. 

St/n.        Satis    spectatum    est,    deos    atque    homines    eius 

neglegere  gratiam, 
quoi  homini  erus  est  consimilis  velut    ego    habeo 

hunc  huius  modi, 
neque    periurior    neque    peior     alter    usquam   est 

gentium, 
quam    erus    meus    est,    neque    tam   luteus    neque 

tam  caeno  conlitus. 
ita  me  di  ament,  vel  in  lautumiis  vel  in  pistrino 

mavelim 
agere  aetatem  praepeditus  latere  forti  ferreo, 
quam  apud  lenonem  hunc  servitutem  colere.     quid 

illue  est  genus, 
quae  illic  hominum  corruptelae  fiunt.     di  vostram 

fidem,  830 

quod  vis  genus  ibi  hominum  videas,  quasi  Acheruntem 

veneris, 
equitem  peditem,  libertinum,  furem  an  fugitivom 

velis, 
verberatum,  vinctum,  addictum :  qui  habet  quod  det, 

ut  ut  homo  est, 
omnia  genera  recipiuntur ;   itaque  in  totis  aedibus 
tenebrae  latebrae,  bibitur  estur  quasi  in  popina,  hau 

secus. 
ibi  tu  videas  litteratas  fietiles  epistulas, 
pice  signatas,  nomina  insunt  cubitum  longis  litteris  : 
ita  vinariorum  habemus  nostrae  dilectum  domi. 
Mil.        Omnia  edepol  mira  sunt,  nisi  erus  huncheredemfacit, 

nam  id  quidem,illi,utimeditatur,  verba  facietmortuo.  840 
et  adire  lubet  hominem  et  autem  nimis  eum  ausculto 

lubens. 
83 


POENULUS 

girl,  (looking  down  the  street)  Aha  !  I  see  the  pimp's 
slave,  Syncerastus,  hying  him  home  from  the 
shrine,  {steps  back)  I'll  overhear  what  he  has  to  say. 

Scene  2.     enter  Syncerastus,  laden  with  sacrificial 

ITTENSILS. 

n.  {gloomily  laying  down  his  load)  It's  evident  enough 
that  gods  and  men  have  no  regard  for  a  chap  with  a 
master  that's  the  sort  of  man  my  master  is.  A  worse 
liar  or  worse  rascal  than  that  master  of  mine  can't  be 
found  on  earth,  or  one  so  foul  and  caked  with  filth. 
So  help  me  heaven,  I'd  prefer  to  pass  my  days  in  a 
stone  quarry  or  mill,  fastened  to  a  big  iron  brick, 
than  keep  on  sla\ing  it  at  this  pimp's.  WTiat  a 
breed  they  are  !  How  men  are  debauched  in  those 
resorts  !  Lord  preserve  us !  Any  kind  of  person 
can  be  seen  there  the  same  as  if  you  went  to  Hades ! 
Citizens  of  every  class,  freedmen,  slaves,  slaves  of 
all  kinds — robbers  or  runaways,  beaten,  bound,  or 
debtor  slaves !  Anyone  that  has  the  price,  no 
matter  who,  all  sorts  are  welcome.  Dark  little 
nooks,  then,  all  over  the  place,  eating,  drinking, 
the  same  as  a  pothouse,  no  different !  There  you 
can  see  epistles,  epistles  inscribed  on  earthenware, 
sealed  with  pitch,  names  on  'em  in  eighteen-inch 
letters  :  why,  it's  a  wine  merchant's  muster-roll  we 
have  at  our  house. 

7/.  (aside)  Gad!  All  very  strange,  unless  he's  made 
his  master's  heir,  for  really  this  speech  he's  prac- 
tising sounds  hke  the  pimp's  funeral  oration.  I'd 
like  to  hail  him,  and  yet  I  very  much  Uke  to  listen 
to  him,  too. 


83 


TITUS  MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Syn.         Haec  quom  hie  video  fieri,  crucior :   pretiis  emptos 
maxumis 

apud  nos  expeculiatos  servos  fieri  suis  eris. 

sed  ad  postremum  nihil  apparet :    male  partum  male 
disperit. 
Mil.        Proinde  habet  orationem,  quasi  ipse  sit  frugi  bonae, 

qui  ipsus  herele  ignaviorem  potis  est  facere  Ignaviam. 
Syn.        Nunc  domum  haec  ab  aede  Veneris  refero  vasa,  ubi 
hostiis 

erus  nequivit  propitiare  Venerem  suo  festo  die. 
Mil.        Lepidam  Venerem. 
Syn.  Nam  meretrices  nostrae  primis  hostiis 

Venerem  placavere  extemplo. 
Mil.  O  lepidam  Venerem  denuo.  850 

Syn.        Nunc  domum  ibo. 
Mil.  Heus,  Synceraste. 

Syn.  Syncerastum  qui  vocat  ? 

Mil.        Tuos  amicus. 

Syn.  Haud  amice  facis,  qui  cum  onere  offers  moram. 

Mil.        At  ob  hanc  moram  tibi  reddam  operam  ubi  voles,  ubi 
iusseris. 

habe  rem  pactam. 
Syn.  Si  futurumst,  do  tibi  operam  hanc. 

Mil.  Quo  modo  ? 

Syn.        Vt  enim  ubi  mihi  vapulandum  sit,  tu  corium  sufferas. 

apage,  nescio  quid  viri  sis. 
Mil.  Malus  sum. 

Syn.  Tibi  sis. 

Mil.  Te  volo. 

Syn.        At  onus  urgct. 

Mil.  At  tu  appone  et  respice  ad  me. 

Syn.  Fecero 

quamquam  haud  otiumst. 


84 


POENULUS 

It  tortures  me  to  see  what  goes  on  here — ^high- 
priced    slaves    going   back   to    their   masters,  all 
denestegged  at  our  house  !    But  there's  nothing  to 
show  for  it  in  the  end  :  ill  gotten,  ill  spent. 
(aside,  amused)  Holding  forth  as  if  he  was  good  for 
something  himself — my  Lord !    when  he's  a  man 
that  can  teach  torpor  to  Torpidity ! 
Here  I  am  bringing  back  these  utensils  from  Venus 
temple,  where  master,  for  all  his  victims,  couldn't 
propitiate  Venus  on  her  own  festal  day. 
(aside)  Charming  Venus ! 

Why,  our  courtesans  won  her  favour  at  once,  with 
their  very  first  victims. 
(aside)  Again  I  say,  oh,  charming  Venus ! 
Now  for  home,  (picks  up  his  load) 
(calling)  Hey,  Syncerastus ! 
(not  looking)  Who  calls  Syncerastus  ? 
A  friend  of  yours. 

(not  looking)  It's  no  friendly  act  delaying  a  man 
that's  loaded  down. 

But  in  return  for  delaying  you  I'll  do  you  a  service 
when  you  wish,  when  you  command.  Call  it  a 
bargain. 

(not  looking)  In  that  case,  you  can  have  this  ser- 
vice. 

How  do  you  mean  ? 

(not  looking)  I  mean  when  I  have  a  thrashing  in 
store  you  can  supply  the  hide.     Get  out !     I  don't 
know  what  sort  of  man  you  are. 
A  bad  one. 

(not  looking)  Be  so  for  yovurself. 
I  want  you. 

(not  looking)  But  this  load's  heavy. 
But  put  it  down  and  give  me  a  look. 
(unloadtTig)  All  right,  though  I  haven't  time. 

85 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Mil.  Salvos  sis,  Synceraste. 

Sifn.  O  Milphio, 

di  omnes  deaeque  ament — 
Mil.  Quemnam  hominem  ? 

Si/n.  Nee  te  nee  me,  Milphio : 

neque  erum  meum  adeo. 
Mil.  Quern  ament  igitur  ? 

Syn.  Aliquem,  dignus  qui  siet.  860 

nam  nostrorum  nemo  dignust. 
Mil.  Lepide  loquere. 

Syn.  Me  decet. 

Mil.        Quid  agis  ? 

Syn.  Facio  quod  manufesti  moechi  hau  ferme  solent. 

Mil.        Quid  id  est  ? 
Syn.  Refero  vasa  salva. 

Mil.  Di  te  et  tuom  erum  perduint. 

Syn.        Me  non  perdent ;  ilium  ut  perdant  facere  possum,  si 
velim, 

meum  erum  ut  perdant,  ni  mihi  metuam,  Milphio. 
Mil.  Quid  id  est  ?    cedo. 

Syn.        Malus  es  ? 
Mil.  Malus  sum. 

I^n.  Male  mihi  est. 

mil.  Memora,  num  esse  aliter  decet  ? 

quid  est,  quod  male  sit  tibi,  quoi  domi  sit  quod  edis 
quod  ames  adfatim, 

neque  triobolum  ullum  amicae  das  et  ductas  gratiis  ? 
Syn.        Diespiter  me  sic  amabit. 

Mil.  Vt  quidem  edepol  dignus  es. 

Syn.        Vt  ego  hanc  familiam  interire  cupio. 
Mil.  Adde  operam,  si  cupis.  870 

Syn.        Sine  pennis  volare hau  facilest :  meae  alae  pennas  non 
habent. 


86 


POENULUS 

Greetings,  Syncerastus. 

Oh,  Milphio !    May  all  the  gods  and  goddesses 

bless 

{after  rvaiting  a  moment)  Well,  whom  ? 
Not  you,  or  me,  Milphio — no,  nor  my  master  either. 
Whom  are  they  to  bless,  then  ? 
Anyone  that's  deserving.     For  no  one  of  us  is. 
You  do  say  such  smart  things. 
So  I  should. 
What  are  you  doing  ? 

Something  seldom    accomplished    by   adulterers, 
once  they're  caught. 
What  is  that  ? 

Taking  my  utensils  home  intact. 
May  the  gods  blast  you  and  your  master ! 
They    won't   blast    me.  (mysteriously)  But    I    can 
make  'em  blast  him,  if  I  liked,  yes,  blast  that  master 
of  mine,  if  it  weren't  for  my  fears  for  myself, 
Milphio. 

(interested)  What's  all  that  ?     Let's  hear. 
Are  you  a  bad  one  ? 
A  bad  one  I  am. 
(confidentially)  I'm  in  a  bad  way. 
(innocently)  Explain — it  wouldn't  be  suitable  other- 
wise ?     But  how  is  it  you're  in  a  bad  way,  you, 
having  your  fill  of  eating  and  loving  right  in  the 
house  and  never  giving  a  girl  a  single  sixpence,  but 
getting  her  gratis  ? 

(malevolently)  So  help  me  God 

(pleasantly)  As  you  deserve,  yes  indeed  ! 

(continuing)   As   I   long  for  the  ruination  of  this 

household ! 

Add  effort  to  your  longing. 

Flying  without  feathers  is  not  easy :    my  wings 

(lifting  his  arms)  have  no  feathers, 

87 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Mil.        Nolito  edepol  devellisse :  iam  his  duobus  mensibus 

volucres  tibi  erunt  hirquinae. 
Sifn.  I  in  nialam  rem. 

Mil.  I  tu  atque  erus. 

Sifn.        Verum.     enim   qui   homo   eum   norit,   norit.     cito 

homo  pervorti  potest. 
Mil.       Quid  iam  ? 

Syn.  Quasi  tu  taciturn  habere  quicquam  potis  sis. 

Mil.  Rectius 

tacitas  tibi  res  sistam  quam  quod  dictum  est  mutae 
mulieri. 
Syn.        Animum  inducami  facile  ut  tibi  istue  credam,  ni  te 

noverim. 
Mil.        Crede  audacter  meo  periclo. 

Si/n.  Male  credam,  et  credam  tamen. 

Mil.        Scin  tu  erum  tuom  meo  ero  esse  inimicum  capitalem  ? 
Syn.  Scio. 

Mil.        Propter  amorem — 
Syn.  Omnemi  operam  perdis. 

Mil.  Quid  iam  ? 

Syn.  Quia  doctum  doces.  880 

Mil.        Quid  ergo  dubitas  quin  lubenter  tuo  ero  meus  quid 
possiet 

facere  faciat  male,  eius  merito  ?   tum  autem  si  quid 
tu  adiuvas, 

eo  facilius  facere  poterit. 
Syn.  At  ego  hoc  metuo,  Milphio. 

Mil.        Quid  est  quod  metuas  ? 
Syn.  Dum  ero  insidias  paritem,  ne  me  perduim. 

si  erus  meus  me  esse  elocutum  quoiquam  mortali  sciat, 

continuo  is  me  ex  Syncerasto  Crurifragium  fecerit. 
Mil.        Numquam  edepol  mortalis  quisquam  fiet  e  me  certior , 

nisi  ero  meo  uni  indicasso,  atque  ei  quoque  ut  ne 
enuntiet 


POENULUS 

Gad !    Stop  plucking  'em,  (pointing  to  Syncerasius^ 

armpits)  and  in  the  next  two  months  you  can  fly ; 

your  wings  will  be  strong  as  a  goat. 

Oh,  go  hang ! 

You  go,  and  your  master. 

{again    mysteriously)  Just  so.      Ah,  a    man    that 

knows  him  knows.     He  can  be  sent  to  smash  in 

no  time. 

How's  that? 

As  if  you  could  keep  anything  silent ! 

I'll  bury  your  secret  in  safer  silence  than  what's 

told  to   a  tongueless  woman. 

I  could  easily  make  up  my  mind  to  trust  it  to  you, 

if  I  didn't  know  you. 

Be  trustful,  never  fear,  you'll  run  no  risk. 

It's  bad  trusting,  but  trusting  I'll  be.  (hesitates) 

(casually)  You  know  your  master's  my  master's 

deadly  enemy? 

(debating)  Yes,  yes. 

On  account  of  his  love 

That's  all  labour  lost. 

How  so  ? 

You're  informing  the  informed. 

Then  why  doubt  my  master's  hankering  to  do  yours 

any  harm  he  could,  and  serve  him  right  ?     So  you 

see  if  you  help  out,  he  can  do  it  all  the  easier. 

But  this  is  what  scares  me,  Milphio.  (pauses) 

What  is  it  you're  scared  of? 

Of  setting  traps  for  master  and  having  it  settle  me. 

Why,  if  master  knows  I've  blabbed  to  any  living 

soul,    the    next    second    he'd   change    me    from 

Syncerastus  to  Splintershanks. 

Never,  by  gad,  will  any  living  soul  be  the  wiser  for 

me,  with  the  one  exception  of  my  master,  yes, 

and  I'll  inform  him,  too,  only  on  condition  that 

89 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

id  esse  facinus  ex  ted  ortum. 
Syn.  Male  credam,  et  credam  tamen. 

sod  hoc  tu  tecum  taciturn  habeto. 
Mil.  Fide  non  melius  creditur.     890 

loquere — locus    occasioque    est — libere  :    hie    soli 
sumus. 
Syn.        Erus  si  tuos  volt  facere  frugem,  meum  erum  perdet. 
Mil.  Qui  id  potest  ? 

Syn.        Facile. 
Mil.  Fac  ergo  id  facile  noscam  ego,  ut  ille  possit 

noscere. 
Syn.        Quia  Adelphasium,  quam  erus  deamat  tuos,  in- 

genuast. 
Mil.  Quo  modo  ? 

Syn.        Eodemi  quo  soror  illius  altera  Anterastilis. 
Mil.        Cedo  qui  id  credam, 
Syn.  Quia  illas  emit  in  Anactorio  parvolas 

de  praedone  Siculo. 
Mil.  Quanti  ? 

Syn.  Duodeviginti  minis, 

duas  illas  et  Giddenenem  nutricem  earum  tertiam. 
et  ille  qui  eas  vendebat  dixit  se  furtivas  vendere : 
ingenuas  Carthagine  aibat  esse. 
Mil.  Di  vostram  fidem,     900 

nimium  lepidum  memioras  facinus.    nam  erus  meus 

Agorastocles 
ibidem  gnatust,  inde  surptus  fere  sexennis,  postibi 
qui  eum  surrupuit  hue  devexit  meoque  ero  eum 

hie  vendidit. 
is  in   divitias  homo  adoptavit  hunc,  quom  diem 
obiit  suom. 
Syn.        Omnia  memoras  quo  id  facilius   fiat:    manu  eas 
adserat 
suas  popularis  liberali  causa. 

90 


POENULUS 

he  doesn't  let  out  that  it's  something  you're 
responsible  for. 

(weakening)  It's  bad  trusting,  but  trusting  ni  be. 
Only  do  keep  this  a  secret  all  to  yourself. 
You  can't  trust  Faith  herself  more  safely.     Speak 
freely — this  is  the  place  and  the  time — we're  all 
alone  here. 

If  your  master  wants  to  show  the  right  stuff,  hell 
be  the  ruin  of  my  master. 
How  can  he  ? 
Easily. 

Then  explain  this  "  easily  "  to  me,  so  that  I  can 
explain  it  to  him. 

{looking  about  ivarily,  then  portentously)  Well,  that 
Adelphasium  your  master's  crazy  about  is  a  free- 
bom  girl. 

{amazed)  Eh,  how's  that  ? 

The  same  way  as  the  other  one  is,  her  sister 
Anterastilis. 

{excitedly)  Produce  some  proof  of  that ! 
Well,  master  bought  'em  as  tiny  things  in  Anac- 
torium  from  a  Sicihan  pirate. 
How  much  ? 

Seventy-two  pounds,  the  pair  of  'em,  and  their 
nurse  Giddenis  for  a  third.  And  the  man  that 
sold  them  admitted  he  was  selling  stolen  children : 
said  they  were  freebom,  from  Carthage. 
God  be  praised !  What  perfectly  gorgeous  news ! 
Why,  my  master  Agorastocles  was  bom  there  too, 
and  kidnapped  when  he  was  about  six,  and  after- 
wards the  man  that  kidnapped  him  brought  him 
here  and  sold  him  to  my  master.  He  adopted  him 
and  left  him  all  his  money  when  his  time  came. 
All  this  makes  it  so  miuch  the  easier :  let  him  claim 
them  as  freebom  girls,  his  own  fellow-citizens. 

91 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Mil.  Tacitus  tace  modo. 

Si/n.        Profecto    ad     incitas    lenonem    rediget,     si    eas 

abduxerit. 
Mil.        Quin  prius  disperibit   faxo,   quam  unam    calcem 
civerit. 
ita  paratumst. 
Syn.  Ita  di  faxint,  ne  apud  lenonem  hunc  serviam. 

Mil.        Hercle  qui  meus  conlibertus  faxo  eris,  si  di  volent.     910 
Syn.        Ita  di  faxint.    numquid  aliud  me  morare,  Milphio  ? 
Mil.        Valeas  beneque  ut  tibi  sit. 
Syn.  Pol  istuc  tibi  et  tuost  ero  in  manu. 

vale  et  haec  cura  clanculum  ut  sint  dicta. 
Mil.  Non  dictumst.     vale. 

Si^n.        At  enim  nihil  est,  nisi  dum  calet  hoc  agitur. 
Mil.  Lepidu's,  quom  mones. 

et  ita  hoc  fiet. 
Syn.  Proba  materies  data  est,  si  probum 

adhibes  fabrum. 
Mil.        Potin  ut  taceas  ? 
Syn.  Taceo  atque  abeo. 

Mil.  Mihi  commoditatem  creas. 

illic    hinc     abiit.      di    immortales     meum    erum 

servatum  volunt 
et  hunc  disperditum  lenonem  :  tantum  eum  instat 

exiti. 
satine  prius   quam  unumst  iniectum   telum,   iam 

instat  alterum  ? 
ibo  intro,  haec  ut  meo  ero  memorem.     nam  hue 

si  ante  aedes  evocem,  920 

quae  audivistis  modo,  nunc  si  eadem  hie  iterum 
iterem.  inscitiast. 

9a 


POENULUS 

(thinking)  Not  a  word,  not  a  word ! 

{after  a  pause)  He'll  surely  checkmate  the  pimp  if 

he  captures  those  girls. 

{exultantly)  Just  you   watch!     Ill  be   ending  his 

game  before  he  makes  a  single  move.     It's  all 

arranged. 

Heaven  keep  us,  and  get  me  out  of  slaving  it  for 

this  pimp ! 

By  Jove,  it's  my  fellow-freedman  I'll  be  making 

you,  heaven  willing ! 

{still  nervous)  Heaven  help  us  !  {picking  up  his  load) 

You've  nothing  more  to  keep  me  for,  Milphio  ? 

Only  to  wish  you  farewell  and  good  luck. 

Oh  Lord !  That  rests  with  you    and   your   master. 

Good-bye,  and  do,  do  keep  it  dark,  what  I  said. 

{reassuringly)  You  said  nothing.     Good-bye  ! 

But  there  is  nothing  in  it,  you  know,  unless  you 

strike  while  the  iron  is  hot. 

{ironically)  You're  marvellous  as  an  adviser.    And 

that's  how  we  shall  strike. 

You've  been  given  fine  material  if  you  only  get  a 

fine  workman. 

{impatiently)  Can't  you  stop  talking  ? 

I  am  stopping,  and  going, 

[exit. 
{calling  after  him)  You're  a  treasure  of  timeliness ! 
Well,  he's  gone,  {gleefully)  The  immortal  gods 
do  want  my  master  rescued  and  this  pimp  des- 
troyed !  What  a  massacre  he  has  awaiting  him ! 
To  think  of  another  shot  awaiting  him  before  the 
first  one's  fired,  {to  audience)  I'll  go  inside  to 
report  this  to  my  master.  It  would  be  silly,  you 
see,  to  summon  him  out  front  here,  and  here  repeat 
all  over  again  the  things  you  have  just  now  heard. 


93 


TITUS  MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

*  uni   potius   intus  ero    odio,  quam  hie  sim  vobis 
omnibus.2 


ACTVS    V 

Han.       '  Ytk  alonim  ualonuth  sicorathi  symacom  syth  930 

chy  mlachthi  in  ythmum  ysthyalm  ych-ibarcu  mysehi 
li  pko  caneth  ytk  hynuthi  uad  edin  byn  ui 
bymarob  syllohom  alonim  ubymysyrthohom 
hyth  limmoth  ynnocho  tkuulech-antidamas  chon 
ys  sidobrim  chi  fel  ytk  chyl  is  chon  chen  liful 
yth  binim  ys  dybur  ch-innocho-tnu  agorastocles 
yih  emanethi  hy  chirs  aelichot  sithi  nasot 
bynu  yid  ch-illuch  ily  gubulim  lasibithim 
bodi  aly  thera  ynnynu  yslym  min  cho-th  iusim 

Ythalonimualoniuthsicorathiisthymhimihymacomsyth        940 

combaepumamitalmetlotiambeat 

iulecantheconaalonimbalumbar  dechor 

bats  ....  hunesobinesubicsillimbalim 

esseantidamossonalemuedubertefet 

donobun.huneccilthumucommucroluful 

^  Leo  brackets  preceding  ero. 

•  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  923-929  : 
di  immortales,  quanta  turba,  quanta  adventat  calamitas 
hodie  ad  hunc  lenonem.     sed  ego  nunc  est  cum  me  commoror. 
ita  negotium  institutum^t,  non  datur  cessatio ; 
nam,  et  hoc  docte  consulendum,  quod  modo  concreditumst, 
et  itliid  autem  inserviendumst  consilium  vemaculum. 
remora  si  sit,  qui  malam  rem  mihi  det  meriio  fecerit. 
nunc  intro  ibo  :  dum  erus  adveniat  a  foro,  opferiar  domi. 

•  Forthese  'Punic-pAssa.gessee'Lindsa.y  {Classical  Review,  12. 
361-364),  Gra, J  {American  Journal  of  Semitic  Languages,  39. 
73-78),  and  Gottheil  (Lodge's  Lexicon  Plautinum,  915-917). 


94 


POENULUS 

Better  to  bore  one  man  inside  than  stay  here  and 
bore  all  of  you.^  [eixit. 


ACT  V 

ENTER  Hanno,  followed  at  a  distance  by  Carthaginian 

SLAVES  CARRYING  HIS  BAGGAGE. 

I.       Yth  *  alonim  uakmuth  sicorathi  symacom  syth 

chy  mlachthi  in  ythmum  ysthyalm  ych-ibarcu  mysehi 
It  pho  canetk  yth  bynutki  uad  edtn  byn  ui 
bymarob  syllohom  alonim  ubymysyrthohom 
byth  Ummoth  ynnocho  thuulech-antidamas  chon 
ys  sidobrim  chifel  yth  chyl  is  chon  chen  liful 
yth  binim  ys  dybur  ch-innocho-tnu  agorastocles 
yth  emanethi  ky  chirs  aelichot  sithi  nasot 
bynu  yid  ch-illuch  ily  gubulim  lasibithim 
bodi  aly  ihera  ynnynu  yslym  nun  cho-ih  iusim 

Ythalommualoniuthsicorathiisthymhimihymacomsyth 

combaepumamitalmetlotiambeat 

iulecantheconaalonimbalumbar  dechor 

bats   ....   hunesobinesubicsillimbaUm 

essean  tida  mosson  alemuedubertefet 

doTwbun.hunecciltkumucommucroluful 

1  Vv.  923-929:  Ye  immortal  gods  !  What  a  tow,  what  a 
catastrophe,  this  pimp  has  coming  to  him  to-day  !  But 
here  I  am,  delaying  myself.  No  time  for  dawdling,  with  the 
business  we've  got  afoot.  For  we've  got  to  deal  discreetly 
with  this  new  disclosure,  and  yet  do  our  best  with  that 
home-bom  scheme  as  well.  If  I  delay,  the  man  that  gives 
me  a  thrashing  would  only  give  me  my  deserts.  I'll  go  in 
now  :     I'U  wait  at  home  till  master  comes  from  the  forum. 

•  It  has  seemed  best  to  leave  the  Punic  passages,  the  full 
meaning  of  which  is  in  dispute,  as  they  stand  in  the  text 
rather  than  attempt  to  render  them  in  some  such  language 
as  Hebrew. 

95 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

altanimauosduberithemhuarcharistolem 
sittesedanecnasotersahelicot 
alemusduhertimurmucopsuisiiti 
aoccaaneclictorhodesiussilimlimmimcolus 

deos  deasque  veneror,  qui  hanc  urbem  colunt,  950 

ut  quod  de  mea  re  hue  veni  rite  venerim, 

measque  hie  ut  gnatas  et  mei  fratris  filium 

reperire  me  siritis,  di  vostram  fidem.^ 

sed  hie  mihi  antehac  hospes  Antidamas  fuit ; 

eum  fecisse  aiunt,  sibi  quod  faciundum  fuit. 

eius  filium  esse  hie  praedicant  Agorastoclem : 

ad  eum  hospitalem  hanc  tesseram  mecum  fero ; 

is  in  hisce  habitare  monstratust  regionibus. 

hos  percontabor  qui  hinc  egrediuntur  foras.  960 

V  2. 

Ag.         Ain  tu  tibi  dixe  Syncerastum,  Milphio, 

eas  esse  ingenuas   ambas  surrupticias 

Carthaginiensis  ? 
Mil.  Aio,  et,  si  frugi  esse  vis, 

eas  liberali  iam  adseres  causa  manu. 

nam  tuom  flagitiumst  tuas  te  popularis  pati 

servire  ante  oculos,  domi  quae  fuerint  liberae. 
Han.       Pro  di  immortales,  opsecro  vostram  fidem, 

quam  orationem  hanc  aures  dulcem  devorant. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  954  : 
quae  mihi  surruptae  sunt  et  fratris  filium. 
96 


POENULUS 

altammauosduherithemhuarcharistolem 
sittesedanecnasotersahelicot 
alemusdubertimurmucopsuistiti 
aoccaanecUctorhodesiussiUmlimmimcolus 

{devoutly)  Ye  gods  and  goddesses  who  cherish  this 
city,  I  reverently  entreat  you  that,  having  come 
here,  the  object  of  my  coming  may  be  happily 
attained,  and  may  ye  permit  me,  I  implore  you, 
here  to  find  my  daughters  and  my  brother's  son.^ 
{after  a  pause)  Well,  this  is  where  Antidamas  was 
a  family  friend  of  mine  in  former  days.  And  now 
they  tell  me  he  has  paid  his  debt  to  nature.  I'm 
informed  that  his  son,  Agorastocles,  is  here,  how- 
ever: and  it's  to  him  this  token  of  our  family 
friendship  goes,  {glancing  at  a  tessera  he  carries) 
According  to  directions  his  home  must  be  here- 
abouts, {as  Agorastocles'  door  opens)  I'll  inquire  of 
these  people  just  coming  out. 

ENTER  Agorastocles  and  Milphio,  not  seeing  him. 
cene  2. 

(to  Milphio)  You  say  Syncerastus  told  you  they 
were  both  freebom  girls,  Milphio,  stolen  from 
Carthage  ? 

I  do,  and  if  you  want  to  show  some  spirit,  you'll 
lose  no  time  in  claiming  them  as  freebom.  Why, 
it's  a  shame  to  stand  by  and  see  your  own  fellow- 
countrywomen  kept  as  slaves  when  at  home  they 
were  free. 
I.  {aside,  excitedly)  Ye  immortal  gods,  be  with  us ! 
How  my  ears  do  devour  those  blessed  words !  Their 

^  V.  954  :     Daughters  who  were  stolen  from  me,  and  my 
brother's  son. 

97 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

creta  est  profecto  horum  hominum  oratio, 

ut  mi  apsterserunt  omnem  sorditudinem.  970 

Ag.         Si  ad  earn  rem  testis  habeam,  faciam  quod  iubes. 
Mil.        Quid  tu  mihi  testis  ?   quin  tu  insistis  fortiter  ? 

aliqua  Fortuna  fuerit  adiutrix  tibi. 
Ag.  Incipere  multost  quam  impetrare  facilius. 

Mil.        Sed  quae  illaec   avis    est,   quae   hue   cum    tunicis 
advenit  ? 

numnam  in  balineis  circumductust  pallio  ? 
Ag.         Facies  quidem  edepol  Puncaist. 
Mil.  Guggast  homo. 

servos  quidem  edepol  veteres  antiquosque  habet. 
Ag.  Qui  scis  ? 

Mil.  Viden  homines  sarcinatos  consequi  ? 

1  atque  ut  opinor  digitos  in  manibus  non  habent.  980 

Ag.         Quid  iam  ? 

Mil.  Quia  ineedunt  cum  anulatis  auribus. 

Han.       Adibo  hosce  atque  appellabo  Punice. 

si  respondebunt,  Punice  pergam  loqui ; 

si  non,  tum  ad  horum  mores  hnguam  vertero. 
Mil.        Quid  ais  tu  ?  ecquid  commeministi  Punice  ? 
Ag.  Nihil  edepol.     nam  qui  scire  potui,  die  mihi, 

qui  illim  sexennis  perierim  Carthagine  ? 
Han.       Pro  di  immortales,  plurumi  ad  ilium  modum 

periere  pueri  liberi  Carthagine. 
Mil.        Quid  ais  tu  ? 
Ag.  Quid  vis  ? 

Mil.  Vin  appellem  hunc  Punice  ?     990 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  atque  ut  ego  opino  in  manibus  digitos  non 
hahent  Weise. 

^  Gugga  :   of  unknown  meaning. 


POENULUS 

words  are  made  of  chalk,  of  chalk,  the  way  they've 
whitened  all  this  blackitude  of  care  for  me ! 
(dubious)  If  I  had  witnesses  for  it,  I'd  do  as  you 
tell  me. 

Witnesses  ?  What  the  deuce  !  Why  don't  you  up 
and  at  him  Uke  a  man  ?  Fortune'U  favour  you 
somehow. 

It's  much  easier  making  a  good  start  than  a  good 
finish. 

(seeing  Hanno  and  his  escort)  But  what  bird  is  that 
arriving  here  in  the  tunics  ?  Was  his  cloak  nabbed 
at  the  baths,  I  wonder  ? 

(surprised)  Upon  my  soul,  a  Carthaginian,  from  his 
looks ! 

A  gug  1  is  what  he  is !  Gad,  and  such  time-worn  old 
fellows  he  has  for  slaves ! 
How  do  you  know  ? 

(pointing  to  Hanno' s  escort,  bent  beneath  their  load)  See 
those  chaps  behind  him,  under  the  luggage .''  Yes, 
and  I  take  it  they  have  no  fingers  on  their  hands. 
How's  that? 

Well,  here  they  are  with  ring-arrayed  ears. 
(aside)  I'll  step  up  and  speak  to  them  in  Punic. 
If  they  answer,  I'll  continue  talking  Punic ;  if  not, 
then  I'll  change  to  the  language  that  suits  them. 
(to  Agorastocles)  I  say,  you.     Remember  any  Punic, 
do  you  ? 

Lord,  no,  not  a  word  !  WTiy,  how  could  I,  will  you 
tell  me,  being  only  six  when  I  disappeared  from 
Carthage  ? 

(aside)  Ye  immortal  gods  !  Ah,  many,  many  a  free- 
born  boy  has  disappeared  like  that  from  Carthage ! 
(to  Agorastocles)  I  say,  you. 
What  do  you  want .'' 
W^ant  me  to  speak  to  him  in  Punic  ? 

99 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ag.         An  scis  ? 

Mil.  NuUus  me  est  hodie  Poenus  Poenior. 

Ag.         Adi  atque  appella,  quid  velit,  quid  venerit, 

qui  sit,  quoiatis,  unde  sit :  ne  parseris. 
Mil.        Avo.     quoiates  estis  aut  quo  ex  oppido  ? 
Han.       Anno  hyn  mytthymhalle  udradait  annech. 
Ag.         Quid  ait  ? 
Mil.  Hannonem  se  esse  ait  Carthagine. 

Carthaginiensis  Mytthumbalis  filium. 
Han.       Avo. 
Mil.  Salutat. 

Han.  Donni. 

Mil.  Doni  volt  tibi 

dare  hie  nescio  quid,     audin  pollicitarier  ? 
Ag.         Saluta  hunc  rursus  Punice  verbis  meis.  1000 

Mil.        Avo  donni  inquit  hie  tibi  verbis  suis. 
Han.       Me  har  hocca. 

Mil.  Istuc  tibi  sit  potius  quam  mihi. 

Ag.         Quid  ait  ? 
Mil.  Miseram  esse  praedicat  buccam  sibi. 

fortasse  medicos  nos  esse  arbitrarier. 
Ag.         Si  ita  est,  nega  esse ;  nolo  ego  errare  hospitem. 
Mil.        Audin  tu  ? 

Han.  Rufeyn  nyccho  issam. 

Ag.  Sic  volo 

profecto  vera  cuncta  huic  expedirier. 

roga  numquid  opus  sit. 
Mil.  Tu  qui  zonam  non  habes, 

quid  in  banc  venistis  urbem  aut  quid  quaeritis  ? 

loo 


POENULUS 

You  know  it  ? 

I  ?      There's  not  a  Punicker  Punic  living. 
Step  up  and  speak  to  him,  find  out  what  he  wants, 
what  he's  come  for,  who  he  is,  his  origin,  his  city 
spare  no  questions. 

(approaching  Hanno)  Avo  !  {losing  courage)    Where 
are  you  people  from,  what  town."* 
Anno  hyn  mytthymballe  udradait  annech. 
(to  Milphio)  What  does  he  say  ? 
(summoning  his  powers)    Hanno,  he  says  he  is,  of 
Carthage,  son  of  a  Carthaginian  named  Mytthum- 
balis. 

(to  Agorastocles)  Avo  ! 

(sure  of  that  one  tvord,  to  Agorastocles)  Good-day,  he 
says. 
Donni. 

(to   Agorastocles)  A   donation — he   wants   to   give 
you  something  or  other.     Hear  him  promise  ? 
Return  him  his  good-day  in  Punic  for  me. 
(to  Hanno)  Avo  donni — says  he  (indicating  Agoras- 
tocles) to  you  for  himself. 
Me  har  bocca. 
Better  you  than  me. 
What  does  he  say  ? 

Declares  his  back  jaw  hurts.    Takes  us  for  doctors, 
maybe. 

In  that  case,  say  we  are  not ;  I  mustn't  let  a  stran- 
ger be  misled. 

(at  a  loss,  to  Hanno)  Listening,  are  you  ? 
Rufeyn  nyccho  issam. 

(to  Milphio)    Yes,  I  insist  on  his  getting  every- 
thing right.     Ask  if  he  has  need  of  anything. 
(to  Hanno,  in  an  undertone)  Hey,  you  without  a  belt ! 
What  have  you  folks  come  to  this  city  for,  or 
what  are  you  after  ? 

XOl 


TITUS    MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Han.       Mupkursa. 

Ag.  Quid  ait  ? 

Han.  Miuulec  kianna. 

Ag.  Quidvenit?  1010 

Mil.        Non  audis  ?   inures  Africanos  praedicat 

in  pompam  ludis  dare  se  velle  aedilibus. 
Han.       Lech  lachanna  nilimniichto. 
Ag.  Quid  nunc  ait  ? 

Mil.        Ligulas,  canalis  ait  se  advexisse  et  nuces : 

nunc  orat,  operam  ut  des  sibi,  ut  ea  veneant. 
Ag.         Mercator  credo  est. 
Han.  Assam. 

Mil.  Arvinam  quidem. 

Han.        Palu  mirga  deika. 

Ag.  Milphio,  quid  nunc  ait  ? 

Mil.        Palas  vendundas  sibi  ait  et  mergas  datas, 

ad  messim  credo,  nisi  quid  tu  aliud  sapis.^ 
Ag.         Quid  istuc  ad  me  ? 
Mil.  Certiorem  te  esse  volt,  1021 

ne  quid  clam  furtim  se  accepisse  censeas. 
Han.       Mufonnivi  siccoratim. 
Mil.  Hem,  cave  sis  feceris 

quod  hie  te  orat. 
Ag.  Quid  ait  aut  quid  orat  ?   expedi. 

Mil.        Sub  cratim  ut  iubeas  se  supponi  atque  eo 

lapides  imponi  multos,  ut  sese  neces. 
Han.       Gunebbal  samem  lyryla. 
Ag.  Narra,  quid  est  ? 

quid  ait  ? 
Mil.  Non  hercle  nunc  quidem  quicquam  scio. 

Han.       At  ut  scias,  nunc  dehinc  latine  iam  loquar. 

servom  hercle  te  esse  oportet  et  nequam  et  malum,  1030 

hominem  peregrinimi  atque  advenam  qui  inrideas. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  1020  : 
ut  hortum  fodiat  atque  ut  frumentum  metai. 
I02 


POENULUS 

Mupkursa. 

What  does  he  say  ? 

Miuulec  hianna. 

Why  has  he  come  ? 

(valiantly)  Don't  you  hear?     Mice  from  Africa — 

states  he  wants  to  give  'em  to  the  aediles  for  the 

circus  parade. 

I^ck  lachanna  niUmniichto. 

What  does  he  say  now  ? 

Latchets,  channels  and  nuts — that's  what  he  says  he 

has  brought :  now  he  asks  your  aid  in  selling  them. 

A  merchant,  apparently. 

Assam. 

Yes,  fat. 

Palu  mirga  detha. 

What's  he  saying  now,  Milphio  ? 

Paraphernalia  for  digging,  given  him  for  sale,  he 

says — probably   for  harvesting,   unless   you   have 

something  else  in  mind.^ 

What  is  that  to  me  ? 

He  wants  you  informed,  so  that  you  won't  fancy 

he  has  filched  anything  on  the  sly. 

(angrily)  Mufonnim  siccoratim  ! 

(to  Agorastocles)  Oho  !  Just  you  mind  you  don't  do 

what  he's  seeking. 

What  does  he  say,  or  what  is  he  seeking  ?    Explain. 

For  you  to  crate  him,  stone  him  and  kill  him. 

Gunebhal  samem  lyryla  ! 

Translate,  what's  that  ?     What  does  he  say  ? 

Gad !  I  really  don't  understand  it  at  all  now. 

Well,  so  that  you  may  understand  it,  I  shall  now 

speak  Latin  for  the  future.     A  good-for-nothing 

rascal  of  a  slave  you  must  be,  by  gad,  to  make  fun 

of  a  gentleman  and  a  stranger  here. 

^  v.  1020  :     So  as  to  dig  a  garden  and  gather  in  grain. 

103 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Mil.        At  hercle  te  hominem   et   sycophantam   et  sub- 
dolum, 

qui  hue  advenisti  nos  captatum,  migdilix, 

bisulci  lingua  quasi  proserpens  bestia. 
Ag.  Maledicta  hinc  aufer,  linguam  compescas  face. 

maledicere  huic  tu  temperabis,  si  sapis. 

meis  consanguineis  nolo  te  iniuste  loqui. 

Carthagini  ego  sum  gnatus,  ut  tu  sis  sciens. 
Han.       O  mi  popularis,  salve. 
Ag.  Et  tu  edepol,  quisquis  es. 

et  si  quid  opus  est,  quaeso,  die  atque  impera  1040 

popularitatis  causa. 
Han.  Habeo  gratiam.* 

sed  ecquem  adulescentem  tu  hie  novisti  Agoras- 
toclem  ? 
Ag.         Siquidem  Antidamai  quaeris  adoptaticium, 

ego  sum  ipsus  quern  tu  quaeris. 
Han.  Hem,  quid  ego  audio  ? 

Ag.         Antidamae  gnatum  me  esse. 
Han.  Si  itast,  tesseram 

conferre  si  vis  hospital  em,  eccam  attuli. 
Ag.         Agedum  hue  ostende.    est  par  probe,  quam  habeo 

domi. 
Han.       O  mi  hospes,  salve  multum.     nam  mihi  tuos  pater   1050 

patritus  ^  ergo  hospes  Antidamas  fuit. 

haec  mi  hospitalis  tessera  cum  illo  fuit. 
Ag.  Ergo  hie  apud  me  hospitiiun  tibi  praebebitur. 

nam  baud  repudio  hospitium  neque  Carthaginem, 

unde  sum  oriundus. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1042-1043  : 
verum  ego  hie  hospitium  habeo  :   Antidamae  filium 
quaere — commostra  si  novisti — Agorastoclem. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo) :   patritus  hospes  fuit,  Demarchi  filius  Leo. 


^  Migdilix  :   of  unknown  meaning. 

«  Vv.  1042-1043 :  But  I  have  a  place  to  put  up  here : 


104 


I 


POENULUS 

(recovering)  Well,  by  gad,  and  a  swindling  sharper 

of  a  gentleman  you  must  be,  to  come  here  to  trap 

us,  you  migsture  ^,  with  a  two  forked  tongue  Hke  a 

snake's. 

(to  Mtlphio,  sternly)  None  of  your  insults  !     Control 

that  tongue  of  yours  !     You'll  refrain  from  insulting 

this  gentleman  if  you  are  wise.     I  won't  hear  you 

abusing  men  of  my  own  blood,  (approaching  Hanno) 

I  am  a  native  of  Carthage  myself,  sir,  I  may  inform 

you. 

(taking  his  outstretched  hand)  Well,  well,  compatriot ! 

Greetings ! 

Gad,  sir,  and  to  you,  whoever  you  are !     And  if  you 

have  need  of  anything,  I  beg  you  speak,  command 

me,  in  the  name  of  our  common  country. 

I  thank  you,  sir.^     But  do  you  know  a  young  man 

here  named  Agorastocles  ? 

WTiy,  sir,  if  it's  the  adopted  son  of  Antidama  you 

look  for,  I  am  your  man  myself. 

Eh  ?    What's  that  you  say  ? 

That  I  am  the  son  of  Antidama. 

In  that  case,  if  you  wish  to  compare  the  tokens  of 

our  family  friendship,  look,  here  is  mine,  (produces  it) 

(eagerly)  Come,  sir,  come,  show  it  to  me.  (examining 

it)  Yes,  it  exactly  matches  the  one  I  have  at  home. 

(seizes  Hanno's  hand) 

Well,  well,  my  friend !    Hearty  greetings !     WTiy, 

your  father   Antidamas,  you  know,   was   an   old 

family  friend  of  mine.     I  shared  this  token  of  that 

friendship  with  him. 

Then  as  my  friend  you're  to  be  my  guest  here.  The 

entertainment  of  a  friend  and  the  Carthage  that 

gave  me  birth  are  things  I  don't  disclaim. 

I  am  looking  for  the  son  of  Antidama — direct  me,  if  you 
know  him —  Agorastocles. 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Han.  Di  dent  tibi  omnes  quae  velis. 

quid  ais  ?     qui  potuit  fieri,  ut  Carthagini 

gnatus  sis  ?  hie  autem  habuisti  Aetolum  patrem, 
Ag.         Surruptus  sum   illinc.     hie  me  Antidama   hospes 
tuos 

emit,  et  is  me  sibi  adoptavit  filium. 
Han.       Demarche  item  ipse  fuit  adoptaticius.  1060 

sed  mitto  de  illoc,  ad  te  redeo.     die  mihi, 

ecquid  meministi  tuom  parentum  nomina, 

patris  atque  matris  ? 
Ag.  Memini. 

Han.  Memoradum  mihi, 

si  novi  forte  aut  si  sunt  cognati  mihi. 
Ag.         Ampsigura  mater  mihi  fuit,  lahon  pater. 
Han.       Patrem  atque  matrem  viverent  vellem  tibi. 
Ag.         An  mortui  sunt  ? 
Han.  Factum,  quod  aegre  tuh.^ 

nam  mihi  sobrina  Ampsigura  tua  mater  fuit ; 

pater  tuos,  is  erat  frater  patruehs  meus, 

et  is  me  heredem  fecit,  quom  suom  obiit  diem,         1070 

quo  me  privatum  aegre  patior  mortuo. 

sed  si  ita  est,  ut  tu  sis  lahonis  fihus, 

signum  esse  oportet  in  manu  laeva  tibi, 

ludenti  puero  quod  memordit  simia. 

ostende,  inspiciam. 
Ag.  Em  ostendo. 

Han.  Aperi.  audi  atque  ades:^ 

Ag.         Mi  patrue,  salve. 
Han.  Et  tu  salve,  Agorastocles. 

iterum  mihi  gnatus  videor,  quom  te  repperi. 
Mil.        Pol  istam  rem  vobis  bene  evenisse  gaudeo. 

'    Corrupt  (Leo)  :   quod  ego  Lambinus. 

*  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :    "  desunt  verba  agnitionis." 

io6 


POENULUS 

God  grant  your  every  wish !     But  I  say !     How 

could  you  have  been  born  in  Carthage  ?     And  you 

with  an  Aetolian  father. 

I  was  kidnapped  from  there.  Your  friend  Antidama 

brought  me  here,  and  then  made  me  his  son  by 

adoption. 

{half  to  himself)  He  was  an  adopted  child,  too,  of 

Demarchus.  {earnestly  scanning  Agorastocles)      But 

no  more  of  him — to  return  to  yourself.     Tell  me, 

do    you    remember    your    parents'    names,    your 

father's  and  mother's  ? 

Yes,  indeed. 

Then  tell  me  them.     Maybe  I  know  them,  or  it 

may  be  they're  related  to  me. 

Ampsigura  was  my  mother,  my  father  was  lahon. 

{much  stirred)  A  father  and  mother  I  only  wish  were 

alive  for  you  this  day  ! 

Are  they  dead  ? 

Yes,,  and  a  hard  blow  it  was  to  me.     Your  mother 

Ampsigura  was  my  cousin;    and  your  father,  he 

was  the  son  of  my  father's  brother,  and  passing 

away  as  he  did,  leaving  me  his  heir,  his  death  has 

been  a  blow  I  suffered  from,  {pausing)  But  if  it's 

true  that  you  are  lahon 's  son,  there  should  be  a 

mark  on  your  left  hand  where  a  monkey  bit  you 

when  you  were  playing  with  it  as  a  boy.     Hold  it 

out,  let  me  look ! 

{extending  his  arm)  Here  you  are. 

Open  it  up !  {examining  the  hand,  excitedly)  Listen, 

and  listen  closely ! 

{embracing  him  tempestuously)  My  dear  uncle  !    God 

bless  you ! 

And  you,  Agorastocles !     I  feel  as  if  I  were  bom 

again,  now  I've  found  you. 

By  Jove,  I'm  glad  you  two  have  had  such  good 

I07 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

sed  te  moneri  num  nevis  ? 
Han.  Sane  volo. 

Mil.        Patema  oportet  filio  reddi  bona.  1080 

aequomst  habere  hunc  bona  quae  possedit  pater. 
Han.       Haud  postulo  aliter :   restituentur  omnia ; 

suam  sibi  rem  salvam  sistam,  si  illo  advenerit. 
Mil.        Facito  sis  reddas,  etsi  hie  habitabit,  tamen. 
Han.       Quin  mea  quoque  iste  habebit,  si  quid  me  fuat. 
Mil.        Festivom  facinus  venit  mi  in  mentem  modo. 
Han.       Quid  id  est  ? 
Mil.  Tua  opus  est  opera. 

Han.  Die  mihi  quid  lubet : 

profecto  uteris,  ut  voles,  operam  meam. 

quid  est  negoti  ? 
Mil.  Potin  tu  fieri  subdolus  ? 

Han.       Inimico  possum,  amico  insipientia  est,  1090 

Mil.        Inimicus  hercle  est  huius. 
Han.  Male  faxim  lubens. 

Mil.        Amat  ab  lenone  hie. 

Han.  Facere  sapienter  puto. 

Mil.        Leno  hie  habitat  vicinus. 

Han.  Male  faxim  lubens. 

Mil.        Ei  duae  puellae  sunt  meretrices  servolae 

sorores :   earum  hie  alteram  efflictim  perit, 

neque  eam  incestavit  umquam. 
Han.  Acerba  amatiost. 

Mil.        Hunc  leno  ludificatur. 

Han.  Suom  quaestum  colit. 

Mil.        Hie  illi  malam  rem  dare  volt. 
Han.  Frugist,  si  id  facit. 

io8 


POENULUS 

luck,     (to  Hanno)    But  you  don't  mind  my  making 

a  suggestion,  sir  ? 

On  the  contrary. 

The  son  ought  to  have  back  the  paternal  estate, 

sir.     It's  only  fair  for  master  to  get  the  property 

his  father  owned. 

I  have  no  other  views.     It  shall  all  be  restored  to 

him.     I'll  put  him  in  possession  of  his  patrimony 

complete,  once  he  arrives  there. 

But  let  him  have  it,  please,  even  though  he  lives 

here,  sir. 

Yes,  and  he  shall  have  mine  too,  if  anything  happens 

to  me. 

{n-ith  a  start)  A  happy  thought  just  came  into  my 

head. 

What  is  it  ? 

Your  help's  needed,  sir. 

Tell  me  what  you'd  like.     You  certainly  can  have 

any  help  you  want  from  me.    What's  the  idea  ? 

Can  you  be  wily,  sir  ? 

With  an  enemy,  yes ;  with  a  friend  it's  foolish. 

He's  an  enemy  of  master's  all  right. 

I  should  enjoy  damaging  him. 

Master's  in  love  with  a  pimp's  girl. 

Sensible  of  him,  I  judge. 

The  pimp  lives  next  door  here,     (pointing) 

I  should  enjoy  damaging  him. 

He  has  two  little  slave  girls,  sisters,  as  courtesans. 

Master's  clean  gone  on  one  of  'em,  but  has  never 

got  near  her. 

Lacerating  for  a  lover! 

The  pimp's  playing  him  along. 

All  in  his  business. 

And  master  wants  to  get  him  into  trouble. 

A  good  deed  if  he  does. 

109 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Mil.        Nunc  hoc  consilium  capio  et  banc  fabricam  apparo, 

ut  te  allegemus,  filias  dicas  tuas  1100 

surruptasque  esse  parvolas  Carthagine,^ 

manu  liberali  causa  ambas  adseras, 

quasi  filiae  tuae  sint.     iamne  intellegis  ? 
Han.       Intellego  hercle.     nam  mihi  item  gnatae  duae 

cum  nutrice  una  sunt  surruptae  parvolae. 
Mil.        Lepide  hercle  adsimulas.     iam  in  principio  id  mihi 

placet. 
Han.       Pol  magis  quam  vellem. 
Mil.  Eu  hercle  mortalem  catum, 

2  malum  crudumque,  estolidum  et  subdolum. 

ut  adflet,  quo  illud  gestu  faciat  facilius. 

me  quoque  dolis  iam  superat  architectonem.  1110 

Han.       Sed  earum  nutrix  qua  sit  facie,  mi  expedi. 
Mil.        Statura  hau  magna,  corpore  aquilost. 
Han.  Ipsa  east. 

Mil.        Specie  venusta,  ore  atque  oculis  pernigris. 
Han.       Formam  quidem  hercle  verbis  depinxti  probe. 
Mil.        Vin  earn  videre  ? 
Han.  Filias  malo  meas. 

sed  i  atque  evoca  illam ;  si  eae  meae  sunt  filiae, 

si  illarum  est  nutrix,  me  continuo  noverit. 
Mil.        Heus,  ecquis  hie  est  ?   nuntiate  ut  prodeat 

foras  Giddeneni,    est  qui  illam  conventam  esse  volt. 

V.3. 

Gidd.      Quis  pultat  ? 

Mil.  Qui  te  proximust. 

Gidd.  Quid  vis  ? 

Mil.  Eho,         1120 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :   "  intercidit  nutricis  meniio." 
*  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  senem  malum  Leo. 

110 


POENULUS 

Now  here's  what  I  have  in  mind,  here's  the  game 
I  want  to  work — deputing  you  to  state  that  they're 
your  daughters,  and  stolen  in  childhood  from  Car- 
thage, and  claim  'em  both  as  freebom,  as  being 
your  own  daughters.  Understand  now,  sir  ? 
(with  feeling)  Indeed  I  do  understand.  For  my 
very  own  two  girls,  along  with  their  nurse,  were 
stolen  like  that  in  childhood. 

(highly  pleased)  Gad,  sir,  it's  lovely  the  way  you 
pretend.     You  pick  up  the  part  to  perfection. 
(breaking  down)  Ah,  more  so  than  I  could  wish  ! 
{to  Agorastocles)  Grand  !    My  word,  he's  a  sly  one  ! 
Such  a  hardened  rascal,  so  unstolid  and  subtle ! 
Look  at  him  weeping,  so  as  to  take  his  role  more 
realistically !     Here  he  is,  better  at  flimflam  than 
myself  even,  the  chief  architect. 
But  the  girl's  nurse — describe  her  appearance ! 
She's  not  very  tall,  swarthy. 
It's  the  very  one ! 

An  attractive  person,  a  real  black-eyed  brunette. 
By  Jove,  you've  pictured  her  to  the  life ! 
Want  to  see  her  ? 

My  daughters,  rather!  But  go  and  call  her  out. 
If  those  girls  are  my  daughters,  if  she  is  their  nurse, 
she'll  know  me  instantly. 

{knocking  at  Lycus"  door)  Hey  !  Anyone  here  ?  Tell 
Giddenis  to  come  out !  I'here's  someone  wants  to 
meet  her. 

Jcene  3.  enter  Giddenis  into  doorway. 

ridd.  (tvithin)  Who's  knocking? 
A  man  very  close  to  you. 
WTiat  do  you  want  ? 

Hi,  you,  know  that  man  in  the  tunic  ?  (pointing  to 
Ilanno) 

III 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

novistin  tu  illunc  tunicatum  hominem  qui  siet  ? 
Gidd.      Nam  quern  ego  aspicio  ?   pro  supreme  luppiter, 

erus  meus  hie  quidem   est,  mearum  alumnarum 
pater, 

Hanno  Carthaginiensis. 
Mil.  Ecce  autem  mala.^ 

Gidd.      O  mi  ere,  salve,  Hanno,  insperatissume 

mihi  tuisque  filiis,  salve  atque — eho, 

mirari  noli  neque  me  contemplarier. 

cognoscin  Giddenenem  ancillam  tuam?  1130 

Han.       Novi.    sed  ubi  sunt  meae  gnatae  ?    id  scire  expeto. 
Gidd.      Apud  aedem  Veneris. 

Han.  Quid  ibi  faciunt  ?  die  mihi. 

Gidd.      Aphrodisia  hodie  Veneris  est  festus  dies : 

oratum  ierunt  deam,  ut  sibi  esset  propitia. 
Mil.        Pol  satis  scio,  impetrarunt,  quando  hie  hie  adest. 
Ag.         Eho  an  huius  sunt  illae  filiae  ? 
Gidd.  Ita  ut  praedicas. 

tua  pietas  nobis  plane  auxilio  fuit, 

quom  hue  advenisti  hodie  in  ipso  tempore ; 

namque  hodie  earum  mutarentur  nomina 

facerentque  indignum  genere  quaestum  corpore.       1140 
Puer        Auamma  Hit. 
Gidd.  Hauon  bane  silli  in  mustine, 

Mepstaeiemes  tas  dum  et  alanna  cestimim, 
Ag.         Quid  illi  locuti  sunt  inter  se  ?  die  mihi. 
Han.       Matrem  hie  salutat  suam,  haec  autem  hunc  filium. 

tace  atque  parce  muliebri  supellectili. 
Ag.         Quae  est  supellex  ? 

^  Leo  brackets  following  w.,  1125-1126: 
praestrigiator  hie  quidem  Poenus  probust, 
perduxii  omnis  ad  suam  sententiam. 

1  Vv.    1125-1126:    This    Carthaginian    is    certainly    a 
grand  conjurer  !     He  has  'em  all  under  his  control. 

112 


POENULUS 

(gasping)  Why,  who's  that  I  see?     Great  God  on 

high !     It  is,  it's  my  master,  the  father  of  my  foster- 

hngs,  Hanno,  the  Carthaginian ! 

Now  if  she  isn't  a  sly  one !  ^ 

Oh,  my  dear  master,  Hanno,  God  bless  you !     We 

never  dreamed  of  this,  I  and  your  daughters !   Oh, 

God  bless  you  and — (noticing  haw  dazed  he  is)  now, 

now,  sir,  don't  gaze  at  me  so  wonderingly!     You 

recognize  your  own  maidservant,  Giddenis  ? 

Yes,  yes !    But  where  are  my  daughters  ?    That's 

my  first  concern ! 

At  the  temple  of  Venus,  sir. 

Doing  what  there  ?     Tell  me ! 

This  is  the  festival  day  of  Venus,  sir,  the  Aphrodisia. 

They've  gone  to  pray  the  goddess  to  be  propitious 

to  them. 

(convinced    of    Hanno's    sincerity)  They've     been 

successful,  that's  sure  enough,  now  he's  here ! 

(to  Giddenis)  I  say  !     Are  those  girb  his  daughters  ? 

Indeed  they  are  !  (to  Hanno)  Oh,  sir,  your  affection 

has  been  our  salvation,  clear  as  can  be,  arriving  as 

you  do  to-day  in  the  very  nick  of  time !     For  this 

very  day  those  girls  were  to  have  their  names 

changed  and  disgrace  their  family  by  prostitution. 

(one  of  Hanno* s  slaves  edges  up  toward  Giddenis) 

AuammailU  ! 

(regarding  him,  then  clasping  him  in  her  arms)  Hauon 

bane  silli  in  mustine.   Mepstaetemes  tas  dum  et  alanna 

cestimim ! 

(to  Hanno)  What  are  they  saying  to  each  other? 

Tell  me. 

He's  greeting  his  mother,  and  she  her  son.  (to 

Giddenis,  rvith  pretended  gruffness)  Quiet  now,  and 

spare  the  furniture  of  your  sex. 

What  furniture  is  that  ? 

113 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Han.  Clarus  clamor. 

Ag.  Sine  modo. 

Han.       Tu  abduc  hosce  intro  ;   et  una  nutricem  simul 

iube  banc  abire  hinc  ad  te. 
Ag.  Fac  quod  imperat. 

Mil.        Sed  quis  illas  tibi  monstrabit  ? 
Ag.  Ego  doctissume. 

Mil.        Abeo  igitur. 
Ag.  Facias  modo  quam  memores  mavelim.   1150 

patruo  advenienti  cena  curetur  volo. 
Mil.        Lachanna  vos,  quos  ego  iam  detrudam  ad  molas, 

inde  porro  ad  puteum  atque  ad  robustum  codicem. 

ego  faxo  hospitum  hoc  leniter  laudabitis. 
Ag.  Audin  tu,  patrue  ?   dico,  ne  dictum  neges  : 

tuam  mihi  maiorem  filiam  despondeas. 
Han.       Pactum  rem  habeto. 
Ag.  Spondesne  igitur  ? 

Han.  Spondeo. 

Ag.  Mi  patrue,  salve,     nam  nunc  es  plane  meus. 

nunc  demum  ego  cum  ilia  fabulabor  libere. 

nunc,  patrue,  si  vis  tuas  videre  filias,  1160 

me  sequere. 
Han.  lamdudum    equidem    cupio,    et    te 

sequor.^ 
Ag.         Sed  eccas  video  ipsas. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1162-1165  : 
Ag.  Quid  si  eamus  illis  obviam  ? 

Han.  At  ne  inter vias 

praeierbitamus  metuo.     magne  Ivppiter, 
resiitue  certas  mi  ex  incertis  nunc  opes. 
Ag.  *  Ego  quidem  meos  amores  mecum  con fido  fore. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo) :  amores  meos  Pylades. 

1  Vv.  1162-1165: 
Ag,  What  if  we  should  go  meet  them  ? 

114 


POENULUS 

Loud  lungs. 

(smiling)  Oh,  never  mind. 

(to    Milphio)    Take    these    people    (indicating    his 

attendants)  inside,  my  man ;    and  have  the  nurse 

here  go  over  to  your  house  along  >\ith  them. 

(as  Milphio  hesitates)  Do  as  he  orders. 

(to  Hanno)  But  who'll  show  you  those  girls  ? 

I,  a  man  with  special  training. 

Then  I'll  be  gone,  (still  lingers) 

Ah,  but  I  should  prefer  to  have  you  do  so  than  say 

so.     I  want  a  dinner  of  welcome  seen  to  for  my 

uncle. 

(waving  Hanno' s  slaves  and  Giddenis  inside)  Lachanna, 

you  people!  (in  an  undertone)  I'll  soon  be  hustling 

you  off  to  the  mill,  and  direct  from  there  to  the 

dungeon  and  a  big,  stout  block.     I'll  promise  it's 

mild  praise  our  hospitality  gets  from  you. 

[exeunt. 
(anxiously)  Listen  here,  uncle !  Don't  regard  what 
I  say  as  unsaid — promise  me  your  older  daughter. 
Agreed. 

You  promise,  then  ? 
I  promise. 

(hugging  him  joyfully)  Oh,  my  dear,  dear  uncle ! 
Ah,  now  you  clearly  are  mine  !  Now  at  last  I  can 
chat  with  her  undisturbed!  (turning  to  go  to  the 
temple)  Now,  uncle,  if  you  want  to  see  your 
daughters,  follow  me.  (hurries  away) 
(close  after  him)  That's  what  I've  long  been  yearn- 
ing for!  I'll  follow  you  all  right  1^ 
(stopping)  But  look !  I  see  them ! 

But  I  fear  we  might  pass  by  and  miss  them  in  the  streets. 
Oh,    great   God,    now   make   my    uncertainty   a    blessed 
certainty  ! 
And  I,  I'm  confident  I'll  have  my  sweetheart  with  me  ! 

"5 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Han.  Haecine  meae  sunt  filiae  ? 

quantae  e  quantillis  iam  sunt  factae. 
Ag.  Scin  quid  est  ? 

tragicae  sunt :  in  calones  sustolli  solent.^ 

V.  4 

Ad.  Fuit  hodie  operae  pretiuxn  cuivis  qui  amabilitati 

animum  adiceret, 
oculis  epulas  dare,  delubrum  qui  hodie  ornatum 

eo  visere  venit. 
deamavi   ecastor    illi  hodie    lepidissima   munera 

meretricum, 
digna  dea  venustissima  Venere,  neque  contempsi 

eius  opes  hodie. 
tanta  ibi  copia  venustatum  aderat,  in  suo  quique 

loco  sita  munde. 
aras  tus,  murrinus,  omnis  odor 
complebat.    haud  sordere  visust 
festus  dies,  Venus,  nee  tuom  fanum : 
tantus  ibi  clientarum  erat  numerus,  1180 

quae  ad  Calydoniam  venerant  Venerem. 
Ant.        Certo  enim,  quod  quidem  ad  nos  duas 
attinuit,  praepotentes  pulchre 
pacisque  potentes,  soror,  fuimus, 
neque  ab  iuventute  inibi  inridiculo 
habitae,  quod  pol, 
soror,  ceteris  omnibus  factumst. 
Ad.  Malim  istuc  aliis  videatur,  quara  uti  tu  te,  soror, 

conlaudes. 
Ant.        Spero  equidem. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1169-1173 
Mil.  Opino  hercle  hodie,  quod  ego  dixi  per  iocum, 

id  eventurum  esse  et  severum  et  serium, 
ut  haec  inveniantur  hodie  esse  huius  filiae. 

ii6 


POENULUS 

{drawing  him  aside)  These  girls  my  daughters  ?     So 
small  they  were,  and  now  so  big ! 
{ebullient)  Don't  you  see?    They're  tragediennes  : 
natural  for  them  to  be  set  up  on  buskins.^ 

4.     ENTER    Adelphasium    and    AnierastiUs. 

Well !  it  was  worth  the  while  of  anyone  with  a 
feeling  for  beauty  to  feast  his  eyes  to-day  by  going 
to  see  the  decorations  at  the  temple.  Gracious, 
I  simply  adored  those  offerings  of  the  courtesans, 
they  were  so  perfectly  charming,  wortliy  of  Love's 
lovely  goddess  whose  power  I  couldn't  under- 
estimate this  day.  Such  quantities  of  lovely  things 
as  were  there,  and  all  arranged  so  fittingly  and 
prettily!  And  the  altars  loaded  with  frankin- 
cense, myrrh,  and  every  sweet  scent !  Oh,  Venus, 
thy  festival  and  fane  seemed  nothing  mean !  And 
such  crowds  of  girls  as  had  come  there  to  worship 
our  Venus  of  Calydon ! 

Well,  I  know  one  thing,  sister — that,  for  our  part, 
we  two  gained  a  glorious  victory  and  gained  the 
goddess's  good-will,  and  the  young  men  there 
didn't  make  fun  of  us  either,  as  they  certainly 
did  of  all  the  rest ! 

I'd  rather  have  others  think  that  than  for  you  to 
praise  yourself  so  highly,  sister. 
I  certainly  hope  they  do ! 

1  Vv.  116^1173: 
By  gad,  I  verily  do  believe  that  what  I  said  in  joke  is  going  to 
prove  strictly  serious,  and  they'll  prove  to  be  his  daughters. 
Lord,  man !  Why,  that's  a  certainty  now.  Alilphio, 
take  those  people  inside,  {to  Hanno)  We'll  wait  for  them 
here. 

Pol  istuc  quidem  iam  cerium  est.     tu  istos,  MUphio, 
adduce  inlro.    nos  hasce  hie  praestolabimur. 

"7 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ad,  Et  pol  ego,  quom,  ingeniis  quibus 

sumus  atque  aliae,  gnosco ; 
eo  sumus  gnatae  genere,  ut  deceat  nos  esse  a  culpa 
castas. 
Han.       luppiter,  qui   genus  colis   alisque  hominum,   per 
quern  vivimus  vitalem  aevom, 
quern  penes  spes  vitae  sunt  hominum  omnium,  da 

diem  hunc  sospitem  quaeso, 
^  rebus  meis  agundis,  ut  quibus  annos  multos  carui 

quasque  e  patria 
perdidi    parvas^    redde    is     libertatem,    invictae 
praemium  ut  esse  sciam  pietati. 
Ag.  Omnia  faciet  luppiter  faxo, 

nam  mi  est  obnoxius  et  me 
metuit. 
Han.  Tace  quaeso. 

Ag.         Ne  lacruma,  patrue. 

Ant.        Vt  volup  est  homini,  mea  soror,  si  quod  agit  cluet 
victoria ; 
sicut  nos  hodie   inter  alias  praestitimus  pulchri- 
tudine. 
Ad.         Stulta,  soror,   magis   es    quam    volo.      an   tu    eo 
pulchra  videre,  obsecro, 
si  tibi  illi  non  os  oblitumst  fuligne  ? 
Ag.  O  patrue,  o  patrue  mi. 

Han.  Quid  est, 

fratris  mei  gnate,  gnate,  quid  vis  ?  expedi. 
Ag.         At  enim  hoc  volo  agas. 
Han.  At  enim  ago  istuc. 

Ag.         O  patrue  mi  patruissime. 
Han.       Quid  est  ? 
Ag.  Est  lepida  et  lauta.     ut  sapit. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   meis  rebus  agundis  Mueller. 
*  Corrupt   (Leo) :    perdidi  parvas,   dederis   vere,  tandem 
invictae  ut  praemium  esse  sciam  pietati  Leo. 

ii8 


POENULUS 

Yes,  and  so  do  T,  realizing  what  we  are,  and  what 

those  other  girls  are.     Our  birth  being  what  it  is. 

we  should  keep  clear  of  all  just  criticism. 

(in  a  low  tone)  Oh,  Jupiter,  who  dost  cherish  and 

nurture  the  human  race,  through  whom  we  live 

and  draw  the  breath  of  being,  in  whom  rest  the  hopes 

and  Uves  of  all  mankind,  I  beg  thee  grant  that  this 

day  may  prosper  that  which  I  have  in  hand,  and 

those  lost  to  me  for  many  years,  those  daughters 

taken  from  their  home  as  tiny  girls,  restore  them 

to  liberty,  and  show  me  that  unfaltering  affection 

is  rewarded. 

(veri/  blithe,  to  Hanno)  111  see  that  Jupiter  sees  to 

all  that !     He's  quite  under  my  thimtib,  you  know, 

and  looks  on  me  with  awe. 

{gazing  at  the  girls,  tears  in  his  eyes)  No  more  of  that 

....   please! 

Don't  cry,  uncle. 

How  thrilling  it  is,  sister  dear,  to  do  something  and 

have  it  recognized  as  a  triumph,  just  as  in  our  case 

to-day,  being  the  most  beautiful  girls  there. 

Sister,  sister,  I  wish  you  weren't  so  silly !     Do  you 

fancy  you're  a  beauty,  just  because  nobody  there 

smeared  your  face  with  soot  for  a  joke  ? 

(ecstatic,  aside  to  Hanno)  Oh,  uncle,  oh,  uncle  dear! 

(intent  on   the  girls)    What  is  it,  nephew,  nephew 

mine,  what  d'ye  want?     Out  with  it. 

Well,  but  I  want  you  to  attend  to  this. 

Well,   but   I'm   attending  to  that,  (indicating  the 

girls) 

Oh,  uncle !  Oh,  unchest  of  uncles ! 

(smiling)  What  is  it } 

Oh,    she's   a   darling,   dainty   thing!    And   such 

sagacity  1 


119 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Han.       Ingenium  patris  habet  quod  sapit. 
Ag.         Quae  res  ?    iam  diu  edepol  sapientiam  tuam  haec 
abusast. 
nunc  hinc  sapit,  hinc  sentit,  quidquid    sapit,  ex 
meo  am  ore.  1200 

Ad.         Non  eo  genere  sum  us  prognatae,  tarn  etsi  sumus 
servae, soror, 
ut  deceat  nos  facere  quicquam  quod  homo  quis- 

quam  inrideat. 
multa   mulierum    sunt    vitia,    sed   hoc   e   multis 

maxumumst, 
quom  sibi  nimis  placent  minusque  addunt  operam, 
uti  placeant  viris. 
Ant,        Nimiae  voluptatist  quod  in  extis  nostris  porten- 
tumst,  soror, 
quodque  haruspex  de  ambabus  dixit. 
Ag.  Velim  de  me  aliquid  dixerit. 

Ant.         Nos    fore    invito    domino    nostro    diebus    paucis 
liberas. 
id  ego  nisi  quid  di  aut  parentes  faxint,  qui  sperera 
baud  scio. 
Ag.         Mea  fiducia  hercle  haruspex,  patrue,  his  promisit, 
scio, 
hbertatem,  quia  me  amare  hanc  scit. 
Ad.  Soror,  sequere  hac. 

Ant.  Sequor.  1210 

Han.       Prius  quam  abitis,  vos   volo  ambas.     nisi  piget, 

consistite. 
Ad.         Quis  revocat  ? 

Ag.  Qui  bene  volt  vobis  facere. 

Ad.  Facere  occasiost. 

sed  quis  homost  ? 
Ag.  Amicus  vobis. 

Ad.  Qui  quidem  inimicus  non  siet. 

Ag.         Bonus  est  hie  homo,  mea  voluptas. 

120 


POENULUS 

(falling  in  tvitk  Agorastocles'  mood)  A  trait  from  her 

father,  that. 

Eh  ?    What  ?    Lord,  man,  she  used  up  the  sagacity 

she  got  from  you  long  ago.     Her  present  sagacity, 

her  present  sense,  she  gets  from  me,  every  bit  of  it, 

from  me  and  my  love ! 

Slaves  though  we  are,  sister,  we  come  of  no  such 

stock  as  to  make  it  fitting  for  us  to  do  an}i:hing 

that  anyone  can  sneer  at.     Women  have  many 

weaknesses,  but  the  worst  of  them  all  is  when 

they're  too  much  pleased  with  themselves  and 

take  too  little  pains  to  please  the  men. 

Oh,  it  was  just  too  lovely,  sister,  the  omens  from 

our  sacrifice,  and  what  the  soothsayer  said  about  us 

both! 

(aside)  If  he  only  said  something  about  me ! 

That  in  a  few  days,  despite  our  master,  we'd  be 

free !     Yet  I  don't  know  how  to  hope  for  it,  unless 

the  gods  do  something,  or  our  own  parents. 

(aside  to  Hanno)  He  relied  on  me,  that  soothsayer ; 

yes,  sir.  I  know  he  did,uncle,in  promising  them  their 

freedom.     He  knows  I  love  her. 

(moving  toward  Lycus'  house)  Come  along,  sister 

I'm  coming. 

(calling  to  them)  I  should  like  to  see  you  both  before 

you  leave.     Stop  a  moment,  if  you  don't  mind. 

VVTio's  calling  us  back? 

(approaching  them)  A  man  who  wants  to  help  you. 

Now  is  the  time  for  help.     But  who  is  he  ? 

A  friend  to  you  girls. 

If  only  he  doesn't  prove  unfriendly. 

(to  Adelphatium)  He's  a  good  one,  sweetheart. 


131 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ad.  Pol  istum  malim  quam  malum. 

Ag.         Siquidem  amicitiast  habenda,  cum  hoc  habendast. 
Ad.  Hau  precor. 

Ag.         Multa  bona  volt  vobis  facere. 

Ad.  Bonus  bonis  bene  feceris.^ 

Ag.  Patrue  mi,  ita  me    di  amabunt,  ut   ego,  si  sim 

luppiter, 
iam  hercle  ego  illam  uxorem  ducam  et  lunonem 

extrudam  foras.  1220 

ut  pudice  verba  fecit,  cogitate  et  commode, 
ut  modeste  orationem  praebuit. 
Han.  Certo  haec  meast. 

sed  ut  astu  sum  adgressus  ad  eas. 
Ag.  Lepide  hercle  atque  commode. 

Han.       Pergo  etiam  temptare  ? 

Ag.  In  pauca  confer :   sitiunt  qui  sedent. 

Han.       Quid  istic  ?    quod  faciundumst  cur  non   agimus  ? 

in  ius  vos  voco. 
Ag.  Nunc,  patrue,  tu  frugi  bonae  es.     tene.  vin  ego 

hanc  adprendam  ? 
Ad.         An  patruos  est,  Agorastocles,  tuos  hie  ? 
Ag.  Iam  faxo  scibis. 

nunc  pol  ego  te  ulciscar  probe,  nam  faxo — mea 
eris  sponsa. 
Han.       Ite  in  ius,  ne  moramini.    antestare  me  atque  duce. 
Ag.         Ego    te    antestabor,   postea    hanc   amabo    atque 

amplexabor.  1230 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1217-1218  : 
Han.        Gaudio  era  vobis. 

Ad.  At  edepol  nos  voluptaii  tibi. 

Han.        Libertaiique. 
Ad.  Istoc  prelio  tuas  nos  facile  feceris. 

122 


POENULUS 

Gracious !     Better  that  than  a  bad  one. 

If  you're  to  be  friends  with  anyone,  you  should 

be  with  him. 

That's  no  prayer  of  mine. 

He  wants  to  do  you  girls  no  end  of  good. 

(to  Hanno)  Ah, good  to  the  good  from  the  good,  sir !  ^ 

(aside  to  Hanno)  So  help  me  heaven,  uncle  dear,  if 

I  were  Jupiter,  I  swear  I'd  take  her  for  my  wife  at 

once  and  send  Juno  packing !     She  talks  in  such  a 

seemly,  thoughtful,  fitting  way ;  has  such  modesty 

of  speech ! 

(aside  to  Agorasiocles)  My  child,  beyond  a  doubt. 

Rather  adroit,  though,  the  way  I  approached  them. 

Gad,  yes,  very  neat  and  fitting. 

(chuckling)  Shall  I  go  on  and  test  them  ? 

Be  brief !  (glancing  ai  the  spectators)    The  audience 

is  athirst. 

(vehemently)  Well  now !    Why  don't  we  get  about 

our  business  ?   (advancing  angrily  upon   the  girls)   I 

summon  you  to  court ! 

That's  the  right  spirit  now,  uncle!     Hold   'em! 

Want  me  to  seize  this  one?     (clasps  Adelphasium) 

(confused)  Is  he  really  your  uncle,  Agorastocles  ? 

(sternly)  I'll  soon  let  you  know.     Here's  where  I 

WTcak  vengeance  on  you,  by  gad,  for  I  '11  make  you 

— (ardently)  my  wife. 

Off  to  court !     No  delay !    (to  Agorastocles)  I'll  be 

your  witness :  take  her ! 

(sternly  again)  You'll  be  my  witness,  and  then  she'l 

be — (hugging    her)    mine    to    caress    and    cuddle ! 

»  Vv.  1217-1218: 
I'll  bring  you  joy. 

Mercy  me  !     But  we'U  bring  you  pleasure. 
And  freedom. 
You'll  win  us  easily  on  those  terms. 

1*3 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

sed  illud  quidem  volui  dicere — immo  hercle  dixi 
quod  volebam. 
Han.       Moramini.     in  ius  vos  voco,  nisi  honestiust  pre- 

hendi. 
Ad.         Quid  in  ius  vocas  nos  ?     quid  tibi  debemus  ? 
Ag.  Dicet  illi. 

Ad.         Etiam  me  meae  latrant  canes  ? 
Ag.  At  tu  hercle  adludiato : 

dato  mihi  pro  ofFa  savium,  pro  osse  linguam  obicito. 

ita  hanc  canem  faciam  tibi  oleo  tranquilliorem. 
Han.       Ite  si  itis. 

Ad.  Quid  nos  fecimus  tibi  ? 

Han.  Fures  estis  ambae. 

Ad.         Nosne  tibi  ? 
Han.  Vos  inquam. 

Ag.  Atque  ego  scio. 

Ad.  Quid  id  furtist  ? 

Ag.  Hunc  rogato. 

Han.       Quia  annos  multos  filias  meas  celavistis  clam  me, 

atque  equidem  ingenuas  liberas  summoque  genere 
gnatas.  1240 

Ad.         Numquam  mecastor  reperies    tu  istuc  probrum 

penes  nos. 
Ag.         Da  pignus,  ni  nunc  perieres,  in  savium, uter  utri  det. 
Ad.         Nil  tecum  ago,  apscede  opsecro. 
Ag.  Atque  hercle  mecum  agendum  est. 

nam  hie  patruos  meus  est,  pro  hoc  mihi  patronus 
sim  necesse  est ; 

et  praedicabo  quo  modo  ^  furta  faciatis  multa 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vos. 
134 


POENULUS 

(suddenly  stopping)  But  as  a  matter  of  fact  I  meant 
to  say — {hugging  her  again)  no,  heavens,  no,  I  said 
what  I  meant ! 

{to  girls)  You   are   delaying.     I  summon  you  to 
court — unless  {rvitk  a  covert  glance  at  Agorastocles) 
seizure's  a  more  proper  method. 
Why  do  you  summon  us  to  court  ?     What  have  you 
against  us  ? 
He'll  state  that  there. 

{indignantly)  So  even  my  own  dogs  bark  at  me  ? 
Gad,  then,  just  you  pet  them !     Try  me  with  a  nice 
long  kiss  for  a  tid-bit,  and  let's  have  your  tongue  for 
a  bone.     Do  that,  and  I'll  make  this  dog  of  yours 
milder  than  olive  oil. 
{to  girls)  Go,  if  you  are  going ! 
What  have  we  done  to  you  ? 
You're  a  pair  of  robbers ! 
We — robbed  you  ? 
You,  I  say ! 
Yes,  and  I  know. 

{to  Agorastocles)  What  robbing  is  this  ? 
Ask  him. 

For  many  years  you  kept  my  daughters  concealed 
from  me,  free  and  freebom  girls  though  they  were, 
girls  of  the  finest  family. 

Goodness  me,  sir,  you'll  never  prove  we  did  such  a 
shocking  thing,  never ! 

Bet  me  you're  not  lying — the  loser  to  pay  a  nice 
long  kiss,     {tries  to  collect) 

{pulling  loose)  I'm  not  concerned  with  you!  Go 
away,  won't  you ! 

Oho !  But  you've  got  to  be  concerned  with  me. 
This  gentleman  being  my  uncle,  I  am  bound  to  in- 
terest myself  in  his  behalf.  And  I'll  lay  bare  the 
way  you  constantly  commit  robbery  and  the  way 

"5 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

quoque  modo  huius  filias  apud  vos  habeatis  servas, 

quas  vos  ex  patria  liberas  surruptas  esse  scitis. 
Ad.         Vbi  sunt  eae  ?  aut  quas,  opsecro  ? 
Ag.  Satis  iam  sunt  maceratae. 

Han.       Quid  si  eloquamur  ? 
Ag.  Censeo  hercle,  patrue. 

Ad.  Misera  timeo, 

quid  hoc  sit  negoti,  mea  soror;  ita  stupida  sine 
animo  asto.  1250 

Han.       Advortite  animum,  mulieres.     primum,  si  id  fieri 
possit, 

ne  indigna  indignis  di  darent,  id  ego  evenire  vellem ; 

nunc  quod  boni  mihi  di  danunt,  vobis  vostraeque 
matri, 

eas  dis  est  aequom  gratias  nos  agere  sempitemas, 

quom  nostram  pietatem  adprobant  decorantque  di 
immortales, 

vos  meae  estis  ambae  filiae  et  hie  est  cognatus 
vester, 

huiusce  fratris  fihus,  Agorastocles. 
Ad.  Amabo, 

nvun  hi  falso  oblectant  gaudio  nos  ? 
Ag.  At  ita  me  di  servent, 

ut  hie  pater  est  vester.     date  manus. 
Ad.  Salve,  insperate  nobis 

pater,  te  complecti  nos  sine. 
Ant.  Cupite  atque  exspectate  1260 

pater,  salve. 
Ad.  Ambae  filiae  sumus. 

Ant.  Amplectamur  ambae. 

Ag.         Quis  me  amplectetur  postea  ? 
Han.  Nunc  ego  sum  fortunatus, 

multorum  annorum  miserias  nunc  hac  voluptate 
sedo. 

136 


POENULUS 

you  keep  his  daughters  at  your  house  as  slaves, 
knowing  them  to  be  freeborn  girls  stolen  from  their 
own  country. 

Wliere  are  they  ?     Who  are  they,  for  heaven's  sake  ? 
(aside  to Hanno)They've  been  badgered  enough  now. 
What  if  we  tell  them  ? 
Gad,  yes,  uncle,  I  approve. 

(aside  to  Anterastilis)  Oh,  sister  dear,  I'm  so  worried 
about  all  this !  I  can't  think !  All  I  can  do  is  to 
stand  here  stupefied! 

(magisterially)  Your  attention,  young  ladies  !  My 
first  wish,  were  its  fruition  possible,  would  have 
been  that  the  gods  bring  nothing  undeserved  upon 
(with  a  sly  glance  at  Agorastocles)  the  undeserving. 
As  it  is,  (reverently)  for  this  instance  of  the  gods' 
goodness  to  me,  to  you,  and  to  your  mother,  we 
owe  those  gods  eternal  gratitude,  since  by  them, 
the  immortal  gods,  our  affection  is  approved  and 
honoured,  (joyously)  Girls,  you  are  both  my 
daughters,  and  this  lad  here  is  your  relative,  my 
brother's  boy,  Agorastocles. 

(tremulously  to  Anterastilis)  Oh,  they're  not  holding 
out  such  happiness  only  to  deceive  us,  are  they  ? 
(eagerly)  So  help  me  God,  he  is  your  father !     Let's 
have  your  hands !  (lays  their  hands  in  Hanno's) 
(gazing  at  him  shyly)  Oh-h !  Father !  Our  unhoped- 
for father !     Mayn't  we  hug  you  ? 
(throwing  herself  into  his  arms)  Father  that   I've 
longed  for,  waited  for,  oh,  father ! 
(somewhat  hurt)  We  are  both  his  daughters. 
Then  we  should  both  hug  him. 
(as  Adelphasium  also  embraces  Hanno)  WTio's  going 
to  hug  me  later  ? 

Oh,  a  happy  man  I  am  now !  Joy  such  as  I  feel 
now  allays  Xh&  sorrows  of  many  a  year ! 

127 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ad.         Vix  hoc  videmur  credere. 

Han.  Magis  qui  credatis  dicam. 

nam  vostra  nutrix  ^  primum  me  cognovit. 
Ad.  Vbi  ea,  amabo,  est  ? 

Han.       Apud  hunc  est. 
Ag.  Quaeso,  qui  lubet  tam  diu  tenere  coUimi  ? 

omitte  saltem  tu  altera,     nolo  ego  istuc. 
Ad.  Enicas  me.* 

prius  quam  tibi  despondent. 
Ag.  Mitto. 

Ad.  Sperate,  salve. 

Han.       Condamus  alter  alterum  ergo  in  nervom  bracchi- 
alem. 

quibus  nunc  in  terra  melius  est  ? 
Ag.  Eveniunt  digna  dignis.  1270 

Han.       Tandem  huic  cupitum  contigit. 
Ag.  O  Apella,  o  Zeuxis  pictor, 

cur  numero  estis  mortui,hoc  exemplo  ut  pingeretis  ? 

nam  alios  pictores  nil  moror  huius  modi  tractare 
exempla. 
Han.       Di  deaeque  omnes,  vobis  habeo  merito  magnas 
gratias, 

quom  hac  me  laetitia  adfecistis  tanta  et  tantis 
gaudiis, 

ut  meae  gnatae  ad  me   redirent  in  potestatem 
meam.^ 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  prima  Bentley. 

•  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  nolo  ego  istuc — 
Ad.  Enicas  me. 

Ag.  Prius  eto. 

Goetz,  Schoell. 

»  Leo  brackets  following  w.,  1277-1279  : 
Ad.  Mi  pater,  tua  pietas  plane  nobis  auxilio  fuit. 

Ag.  Pat  rue,  facito  in  memoria  habeas,  titam  maiorem  fiHam 

mihi  te  despondisse. 
Han.  Memini. 

Ag.  Et  dotis  quid  promiseria, 

laS 


POENULUS 

It  all  seems  so  hard  for  us  to  believe ! 

You'll  believe  it  the  easier  for  this — your  nurse 

recognized  me  at  the  very  first. 

Where  is  she,  oh,  tell  me  ? 

At  his  house,  (nodding  toward  Agorastocles) 

(to  the  girls)  For  heaven's  sake,  what's  the  fun  in 

clinging  to  his  neck  so  long  ?  (to  Adelphasium)  You 

second  one,  at  least,  do  let  go !  I've  had  enough  of 

that !  (pulls  her  to  him) 

You  pest !  (sweetly)  Before  he  has  promised  me  to 

you! 

I'll  stop,  (releases  her), 

(stiddenly  kissing  him)  A  greeting  for  the  man  I  did 

hope  for ! 

Then  let's  all  throw  each  other  into   the   prison 

(fondly   draning   them   all   together)  of  our   arms. 

Now  where  on  earth  are  happier  people  ? 

(with  a  smile  at  Hanno)  Here's  something  deserved 

for  the  deserving. 

At  last  the  thing  I  longed  for  has  come  true. 

Ah,  Apelles!  Oh,  painter  Zeuxis!     Why  did  you 

die  too  soon  to  make  this  scene  your  subject?     As 

for  other  painters — I  want  none  of  them  handling 

scenes  of  this  sort. 

Ye  gods  and  goddesses  all,  I  am  grateful,  deeply 

and  duly  grateful  to  you,  for  granting  me  the 

wonderful  happiness,  the  wondei'ful  joys,  that  come 

of  having  my  daughters  safely  in  my  hands  once 

more.^ 

>  Vv.  1277-1279 : 

Father  dear,  your  aflEection  was  clearly  our  salvation. 

Uncle,  see  you  remember  that  you  have  promised  me  your 

older  daughter. 

Yes  indeed. 

And  the  dowry  you  agreed  to  give. 

129 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

V.  5. 

Anta.      Si  ego  minam  non  ultus  fuero  probe,  quam  lenoni 

dedi,  1280 

turn  profecto  me  sibi  habento  scurrae  ludificatui. 
is  etiam  me  ad  prandiumad  se  abduxit  ignavissimus, 
ipse  abiit  foras,  me  reliquit  pro  atriensi  in  aedibus, 
ubi  nee  leno  neque  illae  redeunt,  nee  quod  edim 

quicquam  datur. 
pro  maiore  parte  prandi  pignus  cepi,  abii  foras ; 
sic  dedero  :  aere  militari  tetigero  lenunculum, 
nanctus  est  hominem,  miina  quein  argenti  cireum- 

duceret. 
sed  mea  amica  nunc  mihi  irato  obviam  veniat  velim  : 
iam   pol    ego   illam  pugnis  totam   faciam   uti  sit 

merulea, 
ita  replebo  atritate,  atrior  multo  ut  siet,  1290 

quam  Aegyptini,  qui  cortinam  ludis  per  circum 

ferunt. 
Ant.        Tene  sis  me  arte,  mea  voluptas ;   male  ego  metuo 

miluos, 
mala  ilia  bestia  est,  ne  forte  me  auferat  puUum 

tuom. 
Ad.         Vt  nequeo  te  satis  complecti,  mi  pater. 
Anta.  Ego  me  moror. 

propemodum  hoc  opsonare  prandium  potero  mihi. 
sed  quid  hoc  est  ?  quid  est  ?  quid  hoc  est  ?  quid  ego 

video  ?  quo  modo  ? 
quid  hoc   est    conduphcationis .''     quae  haec   est 

congeminatio  ? 
quis  hie  homo  est  cum  tunicis  longis  quasi  puer 

cauponius  ? 
satin  ego    oculis  cerno  ?    estne   illaec  mea  amica 

Anterastilis  ? 
et  ea  est  certo.     iam  pridem  ego  me  sensi  nihili 

pendier.  1300 

130 


POENULUS 

5.       ENTER  Antamonides  from  Lycus'  house. 

(blustering)  If  that  four  pounds  I  gave  the  pimp 
isn't  avenged  in  fine  shape,  the  city  wits  have  my 
full  permission  to  use  me  for  joke-fodder!  The 
idea  of  the  infernal  sluggard's  taking  me  to  his 
house  for  lunch,  then  going  out  himself,  leaving  me 
there  like  a  head  butler,  with  neither  pimp  nor  girls 
returning  and  not  a  scrap  given  me  to  eat !  I  took 
security  {examining  some  plunder)  for  the  larger  part 
of  that  lunch,  and  left.  That's  my  way!  I'll  see 
our  sweet  pimp's  touched  for  his  army  tax !  He 
lighted  on  the  man  to  swindle  out  of  four  pounds ! 
But  I  only  wish  that  girl  of  mine  would  cross  my 
path  now,  angry  as  I  am  !  By  the  Lord,  I'll  up  and 
baste  her  with  my  fists  till  she's  all  blackbirdy  !  I'll 
dye  her  dark,  dye  her  a  lot  darker  than  Aethiopian 
bucket  carriers  at  the  Circus  games ! 
{seeing  him  and  clinging  closer  to  Hanno)  Oh,  you 
darling,  do  please  hold  me  tight !  I  have  a  horrible 
fear  of  kites — the  horrid  creature — and  of  one's 
carrying  off  this  little  chick  of  yours,  maybe. 
Oh,  father  dear,  I  simply  can't  hug  you  enough ! 
I'm  losing  time,  {glancing  at  his  plunder)  I  can  come 
pretty  close  to  laying  in  a  lunch  for  myself  with 
this,  {seeing  the  group  in  each  other's  arms)  But  what's 
this  ?  WTiat's  up  ?  What's  this  ?  What  do  I  see  ? 
How's  this?  What's  this  twosing?  What's  this 
twinsing?  ^\^lo's  the  chap  with  the  long  tunics 
like  a  tavern  boy?  Eh?  Is  my  eyesight  failing? 
Is  that  my  girl,  Anterastilis  ?  It  is,  it  certainly  is ! 
I've  felt  for  a  long  time  she  was  making  light  of  me ! 
Isn't  the  wench  ashamed  to  be  petting  a  porter  in 


131 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

non  pudet  puellam  amplexari  baiolum  in  media  via  ? 

iam  hercle  ego  ilium  excruciandum  totum  carnufici 
dabo. 

sane  genus  hoc  mulierosumst  tunicis  demissiciis. 

sed  adire  certum  est  banc  amatricem  Africam. 

heus  tu,  tibi  dico,  mulier,  ecquid  te  pudet  ? 

quid  tibi  negoti  est  autem  cum  istac  ?   die  mihi. 
Han.       Adulescens,  salve. 
Ania.  Nolo,  nihil  ad  te  attinet. 

quid  tibi  banc  digito  tactio  est  ? 
Ilan.  Quia  mihi  lubct. 

Anta.      Lubet  ? 
Han.  Ita  dico. 

Anta.  Ligula,  i  in  malam  crucem. 

tune  hie  amator  audes  esse,  hallex  viri,  1310 

aut  contrectare  quod  mares  homines  amant  ? 

deglupta  mena,  sarrapis,  sementium, 

manstruca,  halagora,  sampsa,  turn  autem  plenior 

ali  ulpicique  quam  Romani  remiges. 
Ag.         Num  tibi,  adulescens,  malae  aut  dentes  pruriunt, 

qui  huic  es  molestus,  an  malam  rem  quaeritas  ? 
Anti        Quin  adhibuisti,  dum  istaec  loquere,  tympanum? 

nam  te  cinaedum  esse  arbitror  magis  quam  virum. 
Ag.         Scin  quam  cinaedus  sum  ?     ite  istinc,  servi,  foras, 

ecferte  fustis. 
Anta.  Heus  tu,  si  quid  per  iocum  1320 

dixi,  nolito  in  serium  convertere. 
Ant.        Qui  tibi  lubido  est,  opsecro,  Antamonides, 

loqui  inclementer  nostro  cognato  et  patri  ? 

*  Sarrapis,  sementium,  of  unknown  meaning. 
132 


POENULUS 

the  middle  of  the  street?     By  the  Lord,  I'll  give 
him  to  the  hangman  this  instant  for  torture  from 
top  to  toe !     They're  nothing  but  a  set  of  lady- 
killers,  these  dangle-tunics.  But  I'm  certainly  going 
to  get  after  this  African  amorosa.  {striding  up  and 
roaring)  Hi,   you!     I   mean   you,   woman!     Have 
you  no  shame  ?    (to  Hanno)  And  you !     WTiat  is 
your  business  with  that  wench  ?     Answer  me  ! 
(surveying  him  coolly)  Good-day  to  you,  young  man. 
None  of  that,  that  is  no  concern  of  yours !     How 
comes  it  you  touch  this  girl  even  with  a  finger  ? 
Because  I  hke  to. 
Like  to  ? 

That  is  what  I  say. 

{terrific)  Go  and  be  hanged,  thou  shoe-strap! 
Dost  dare  to  play  the  lover  here,  thou  toepiece  of 
a  man,  or  couple  thee  Avith  them  that  virile  males 
do  love  ?  Thou  excoriated  sardine  and  semi- 
sarrapian,^  thou  pelt,  saltsouk  and  olive  pulp,  aye 
and  reeking  of  garhc  and  leeks  worse  than  a  bench 
of  Roman  rowers ! 

{his  arms  still  around  Adelphasium  and  Hanno)  Sir,  do 
your  jaws  or  teeth  itch,  affronting  this  gentleman  ? 
Is  it  trouble  you're  after  ? 

{disdainfully)  Why  not  have  a  tambourine  to 
accompany  such  talk  ?  Huh !  You  look  to  me 
more  like  a  fancy  dancer  than  a  man. 
{irate)  Fancy  dancer?  You  know  what  sort ?  {goes 
to  his  door  and  calls)  Come  on  out  of  there,  lads, 
and  bring  some  clubs  1 

{badly  scared)  Hey,  you !  If  I  said  something  as  a 
joke,  don't  take  it  seriously. 

{as  Agorastocles  halts  the  slaves  at  the  doorway) 
Antamonides,  what  pleasure,  pray,  do  you  find  in 
speaking  rudely  to  our  relative  and  father?     For 

^33 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nam  hie  noster  pater  est ;  hie  nos  cognovit  mode 

et  hunc  sui  fratris  filium. 
Anta.  Ita  me  luppiter 

bene  amet,  bene  factum,   gaudeo  et  volup  est  mihi, 

si  quid  lenoni  optigit  magni  mali.^ 
Ag.         Bonxun  virum  eccum  video,  se  recipit  domum ;  ^ 

rapiamus  in  ius. 
Han.  Minime. 

Ag.  Quapropter  ? 

Han.  Quia 

iniuriarum  '  multo  induci  satins  est. 

V.  6. 

Lye.        Decipitur  nemo,  mea  quidem  sententia, 

qui  suis  amicis  narrat  recte  res  suas ; 

nam  omnibus  amicis  meis  idem  unum  convenit,         1340 

ut  me  suspendam,  ne  addicar  Agorastocli. 
Ag.         Leno,  eamus  in  ius. 
Lye.  Opsecro  te,  Agorastocles, 

suspendere  ut  me  Hceat. 
Han.  In  ius  te  voco. 

Lye.        Quid  tibi  mecum  autem  ? 
Han.  Quia  hasce  aio  liberas 

*  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1328-1331 : 
quomque  e  virtute  vobis  fortuna  optigit. 

Ant.         Credibile  ecastor  dicit.     crede  huic,  mi  pater. 

Han.        Credo. 

Ag.  Et  ego  credo,    sed  eccum  lenonem  Lycum. 

«  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1333-1335  : 
Han.        Quia  hie  est  ? 
Ag.  Vtrumvis  est,  vel  leno  vel  Lycus. 

in  servitute  hie  filias  hahuit  tuas 

et  mi  auri  fur  est. 
Han.  Bellum  hominem,  quern  noveris. 

•  Corrupt  (Leo) :  indici  A. 

134 


POENULUS 

this  gentleman  is  our  father.     He  has  just  now 

found  us  to  be  his  daughters,  and  him  (indicating 

Agorastocles)  his  nephew. 

(n-ith  apparent  enthusiasm^  Lord  love  me,  now  that's 

lovely!     I'm  pleased  and  delighted  to   see  that 

pimp  get  hard  hit.^ 

{looking  dorm  the  street)  Aha !  I  see  our  good  man, 

hying  him  home.^     Let's  drag  him  to  court  for 

justice. 

By  no  means. 

Why? 

(smiling)  Because  it's  much  better  to  take  him  there 

for  injustice. 

6.  ENTER  LyCUS,   IN   POOR   SPIRITS. 

(to  himself,  grimly)  No  one  is  deceived,  in  my 
humble  opinion,  when  he  frankly  confides  his  situa- 
tion to  his  friends.  Now  all  my  friends  were  quite 
agreed  that  the  one  way  for  me  to  escape  being 
adjudged  to  Agorastocles  was  to  hang  myself. 
(stepping  up)  Pimp,  let  us  be  off  to  court ! 
Do  be  merciful,  Agorastocles,  and  let  me  hang 
myself. 

(joining  them)  I  summon  you  to  court ! 
You  ?     And  what  have  you  got  against  me  ? 
This — I  declare  these  girls  to  be  free  and  bom  free 

*  Vv.  1328-1331 :  And  to  have  you  get  the  good  luck  you 
deserve. 

That  sounds  believable,  it  really  does.     Do  believe  him, 
father  dear. 
I  do. 
And  so  do  I.     Aha  !  bat  there's  pimp  Lycos  1 

»  Vv.  1333-1335 : 
Who  is  he  ? 

Whichever  you  want — a  pimp  or  a  Lycus.     He  kept  your 
daughters  in  slavery  and  he  robbed  me  of  my  money. 
A  charming  acquaintance  you  have. 

135 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

ingenuasque  esse  filias  ambas  meas ; 

eae  sunt  surruptae  cum  nutrice  parvolae. 
Lye.        lam  pridem  equidem  istuc  scivi  et  miratus  fui, 

neminem  venire  qui  istas  adsereret  manu.^ 
Ag.         Duplum  pro  furto  mi  opus  est. 
Lye.  Sume  hinc  quid  lubet. 

Han.       Et  mihi  suppliciis  multis. 
Lye.  Sume  hinc  quid  lubet :  ^ 

collo  rem  solvam  iam  omnibus,  quasi  baiolus.^ 

*  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1349-1350  : 
meae  quidem  profecto  non  aunt. 

Anta.  Leno,  in  iua  eas. 

Lye.         De  prandio  tu  dicis.    debetur,  ddbo. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  1353  : 
Anta.       Et  mihi  quidem  mina  argenti. 
Lye.  Sume  hinc  quid  Ivbd. 

'  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1355-1371  : 
Ag.  Numquid  recusas  contra  me  ? 

Lye.  Havd  verhum  quidem. 

Ag.  Ite  igitur  intra,  mulieres.     sed  patrue  mi, 

tuam,  ut  dixisti,  mihi  desponde  filiam. 
Han.        Havd  aliter  auaim. 
Anta.  Bene  vale. 

Ag.  Et  tu  bene  vale. 

Anta.       Leno,  arrabonem  hoc  pro  mina  mecum  fero. 
Lye.         Perii  hercle. 

Ag.  Immo  haud  multo  post,  si  in  ius  veneris.  1360 

Lye.         Quin  egomet  tibi  me  addico.     quid  praetore  opust  ? 

verum  obsecro  te,  ut  liceat  simplum  solvere, 

trecentos  Philippos ;  credo  conradi  potest  : 

eras  auctionem  faciam. 
Ag.  Tantisper  quidem 

ut  sis  apud  me  lignea  in  custodia. 
Lye.         Fiat. 
Ag.  Sequere  intro,  patrue  mi,  ut  hunc  festum  diem 

habeamus  hilare,  huius  mala  et  nostra  bono. 

multum  valete.    multa  verba  fecimus ; 

malum  pastremo  amne  ad  lenonem  reccidit. 

nunc,  quod  postremum  est  condimentum  fabulae,  1370 

si  placuit,  plausum  pastulat  camoedia. 

136 


POENULUS 

and  that  both  are  my  own  daughters.     They  were 
stolen  away  as  children  with  their  nurse. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  knew  that  long  ago  and  won- 
dered why  nobody  came  to  claim  them.^ 
You  must  pay  me  double  for  that  theft. 
Take  what  you  like  from  (tapping  his  neck)  here. 
And  you  must  be  well  punished  to  pay  me. 
(as  before)  Take  what  you  like  from  here.^  I'll  meet 
all  obhgations  now  with  my  neck,  like  a  porter.' 

^  Vv.  134&-1350  :    It  is  quite  certain  they  are  not  mine. 
Pimp,  off  to  court ! 
It  is  ianch  you  speak  of.     You're  owed  one,  you'll  get  one. 

»  V.  1353 : 
Yes,  and  you  must  pay  me  four  pounds. 
Take  what  you  like  from  here. 

*  Vv. 1355-1397 : 
Do  you  object  to  my  procedure  t 
Not  one  word. 

Then  go  inside,  girls.  [exktjnt. 

But  uncle  dear,  promise  me  year  daughter  as  you  said. 
I  couldn't  do  otherwise. 
Good-bye,  and  good  luck  ! 
And  the  same  to  you  ! 

Pimp,  I  take  this  (ahotring  Ma  plunder)  with  me  as  part 
payment  of  that  four  pounds.  [Exrr. 

Oh  Lord,  I  am  a  goner  ! 

You  mean  you  will  be  a  little  later,  on  coming  to  court. 
Oh.  but  I  myself  adjudge  myself  to  you.     What  need  of  the 
praetor?     Do  please  let  me  settle  for  the  original  sum, 
though — three  hundred  pounds.     I  think  that  can  be  raked 
together.    To-morrow  1 11  hold  an  auction. 
Providing,  of  course,  that  you  spend  your  time  at  my  house 
in  the  stocks. 
Very  well. 

Come  on  in  with  me,  uncle  mine,  and  let's  take  this  festal 
day  for  making  merry  at  his  woes  and  our  blessings,  (to 
the  spectators)  Long  life  to  you  !  We  have  been  long- 
winded;  but  all  the  woe  has  finally  rained  back  upon  this 
pimp.  Now  for  what  is  the  final  seasoning  of  a  play — ^if 
our  comedy  has  pleased  you,  it  asks  for  your  applause. 

[bxeukt  oknxs. 

137 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 
V.7. 

Leo  thinks  vv.   1372-1397,   printed  below,  were  written 
as  a  substitute  for  vv.  1315-1354. 

Ag.  Quam  rem  agis,  miles  ?   qui  Ivhet  patruo  meo 

loqui  inclementer  ?  ne  mirere,  mulieres 
quod  eum  secuntur  :  modo  cognovit  filias 
suas  esse  hasce  amhas. 

Lye.  Hem,  quod  verbum  aures  meas 

tetigit  t  nunc  perii. 
Anta.  Vnde  haec  perierunt  domo  ? 

Ag.  Carthaginienses  sunt. 

Lye.  At  ego  sum  perditus, 

illuc  ego  melui  semper,  ne  cognosceret 

eas  aliquis,  quod  nunc  factumst.     vae  misero  mihi, 

periere,  opinor,  duodeviginti  minae,  1380 

qui  hasce  emi. 
Ag.  Et  tute  ipse  periisti,  Lyce. 

Han.        Quis  hie  est  ? 
Ag.  Vtrumvis  est,  vel  leno  vel  Lycua. 

in  servitute  hie  filias  habiiit  tuas, 

et  mi  aurifur  est. 
Han.  Bellum  hominem,  quern  noveria. 

Anta.       Leno,  rapacem  te  esse  semper  credidi, 

verum  etiam  furacem  qui  norunt  magis. 
Lye.         Accedam.    per  ego  tuxi  te  genua  obsecro 

et  hunt,  cognalum  quem  tuom  esse  intellego  : 

quando  boni  eslis,  ut  bonosfacere  addecet 

facialis,  vestro  subveniatis  supplici.  1390 

torn  pridem  equidem  istas  scivi  esse  liberas 

et  exspectabam,  si  qui  eas  assereret  wajiw. 

nam  nan  meae  sunt  prosum.     tum  autem  aurum  tvxyrn 

reddam,  quod  apud  me  est,  et  iu^iurandum  dabo, 

me  maliliose  nil  fecisse,  Agorastocles. 
Ag.  Quid  mihi  par  facere  sit,  ego  mecum  consulam. 

omitte  genua. 
Lye.  Mitto,  si  ita  sententia  est. 

Anta.      Heus  tu  leno. 

Lye.  Quid  lenonem  vis  inter  negotium  ? 

Anta.      Vt  minam  mi  argenti  reddas,  prius  quan^in  nervom 
abducere. 

138 


POENULUS 


What  are  yon  at,  warrior  f  Why  so  fond  of  this  rough 
language  to  my  uncle  ?  You  needn't  wonder  at  the 
women's  hanging  about  him  :  he  has  just  discovered  both 
these  girls  to  be  his  daughters. 

ENTKK  Lycua. 

(a«xde)  Whew  1  What's  that  caught  mv  ear  ?  Now  I'm 
lost ! 

Where  were  they  lost  from  ? 
They  are  Carthaginians. 

(aside)  But  I'm  the  one  that's  a  dead  loss  !     I  was  always 
afraid  of  that,  of  someone's  recognizing  them,  and  now  it's 
happened  !    {aloud)  Oh  dear  me  !    The  seventy-two  pounds 
I  paid  for  them  are  lost,  I  suppose. 
And  you're  lost  yourself,  Lycus. 
Who  is  he  ? 

Whichever  you  want,  a  pimp  or  a  Lycus.     He  kept  your 
daughters  in  slavery  and  he  robbed  me  of  my  money. 
A  charming  acquaintance  you  have. 

Pimp,  I  always  took  you  for  a  rapacious  rascal,  but  those 
better  informed  add  predaceous. 

{aside,  eyeing  Agorastocles)  I'll  up  to  him.  {Jailing  at  his  feet) 
By  your  knees,  sir,  I  implore  you  and  this  gentleman  whom 
I  understand  to  be  your  relative — good  men  as  you  are,  act 
as  good  men  ought  to  act  and  show  your  suppliant  mercy. 
As  a  matter  of  fact,  I  long  ago  knew  they  were  free  girls 
and  was  expecting  to  have  someone  claim  them.  No, 
they're  not  mine  at  all.  Then  as  for  the  money  of  yours  I 
have  at  home,  I'll  give  it  back,  and  I'll  take  oath,  Agoras- 
tocles, that  I  did  nothing  with  evil  intent. 
I  shall  consider  the  proper  course  for  me  to  take.  Let  go 
of  my  knees. 
{doing  so)  Yes,  sir,  if  that  is  your  mind. 

{belligerently)  Hey  you,  pimp ! 

{coolly)  What  do  you  want  of  a  pimp  who  is  very 

busy? 

The  return  of   my  four  pounds   before    you  are 

marched  off  to  gaoL 


139 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Lye.        Di  meliora  faxint. 

Anta,  Sic  est :   hodie  cenabis  foris.        14:00 

aurum  argentum  collum,  leno,  tris  res  nunc  debes 
simul. 
Han.       Quid  me  in  hac  re  facere  deceat,  egomet  mecum 
cogito. 
si  volo  hunc  ulcisci,  litis  sequar  in  alieno  oppido, 
quantum  audivi  ingenium  et  mores  eius  quo  pacto 
sient. 
Ad.         Mi  pater,  ne  quid  tibi  cum  istoc  rei  sit  pessumo, 

obsecro. 
Ant.        Ausculta  sorori.     abi,  diiunge  inimicitias  cum  im- 

probo. 
Han.       Hoc  age  sis,  leno.     quanquam  ego  te  meruisse  ut 
pereas  scio, 
non  experiar  tecum. 
Ag.  Neque  ego ;  si  aurum  mihi  reddes  meum, 

leno,   quando    ex    nervo  emissu's — compingare  in 
carcerem. 
Lye.        lamne  autem  ut  soles  ? 

Anta.  Ego,  Poene,  tibi  me  purgatum  volo.  1410 

si  quid  dixi  iratus  advorsum  animi  tui  sententiam, 
id  uti  ignoscas  quaeso;    et  quom  istas  invenisti 

filias, 
ita  me  di  ament  ut  mihi  volup  est. 
Han.  Ignosco  et  credo  tibi. 

Anta.      I-.eno,  tu  autem  amicam  mihi  des  facito  aut^  mihi 

reddas  minam. 
Lye.        Vin  tibicinam  meam  habere'? 

Anta.  Nil  moror  tibicinam ; 

nescias,  utnum  ei  maiores  buccaene  an  mammae 
sient. 
Lye.        Dabo  quae  placeat. 
Anta.  Cura, 

Lye.  Aurum  eras  ad  te  referam  tuom. 

140 


POENULUS 

Lye.       God  forbid ! 

Anta.      I  mean  it :  to-day  you  dine  out.     You  now  owe  us 

three  things  all  at  once,  pimp — his  money,  my 

money,  and  your  neck. 
Han.      {half  to  himself)  I  wonder  what  I  had  better  do  in 

this  matter.     If  I  want  vengeance  on  him,  I'll  be 

going  to  law  in  a  strange  towTi,  with  all  I've  heard 

about  the  spirit  and  customs  of  the  place. 
Ad.         Father  dear,  don't  have  any  trouble  with  the  vile 

wretch,  I  beg  you. 
Ani.       Do  listen  to  sister.     Go  away,  drop  the  quarrel 

with  the  wicked  creature. 
Han.      Pimp,  your  attention,  please.     Although  I  know 

that  you  have  earned  a  hanging,  I  shall  not  fight  it 

out  with  you. 
Ag.         Nor  I.     If  you  return  my  money,  pimp,  once  you're 

out  of  {glancing  at  Antamonides)  gaol,  you  have  my 

permission  to — be  put  in  prison. 
Li/c.        {dryly)  So  you're  acting  as  usual,  eh  ? 
Anta.      (to   Hanno)   You,  sir,  from  Carthage — I  wish  to 

apologise  to  you.     If  in  my  anger  I  said  anything 

that  was  not  to  your  liking,  pray  pardon  it.     And 

so  help  me  heaven,  I  am  really  delighted  that  you 

have  found  your  daughters  there. 
Han.      I  do  pardon  you,  sir,  and  believe  you. 
Anta.      Pimp,  as  for  you,  go  on  and  give  me  a  girl  or  give 

me  back  my  four  pounds. 
Lye.        Want  my  flute-girl? 
Anta.      No  flute-girl  for  me !     You  can  hardly  tell  which 

are  bigger,  her  jowls  or  breasts. 
Lye.       You  shall  have  one  that  suits  you. 
Anta.     See  I  do. 
Lye.       (to  Agorastocles)  I'll  give  you  yOur  money  to-morrow. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  auri, 

141 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ag.         Facito  in  memoria  habeas. 

Lye.  Miles,  sequere  me. 

Anta.  Ego  vero  sequor. 

Ag.         Quid  ais,  patrue  ?  quando  hinc  ire  cogitas  Cartha- 

ginem  ? 
nam  tecum  mi  una  ire  certum  est. 
Han.  Vbi  primum  potero,  ilico.  1420 

Ag.         Dum   auctionem   facio,  hie   opus    est   aUquot   ut 

maneas  dies. 
Han.       Faciam  ita  ut  vis. 
Ag.  Age  sis,  eamus,  nos  curemus.  plaudite. 


142 


POENULUS 

Mind  you  remember  that. 

(going  tOTvard  his  house)  Follow  me,  warrior. 

Indeed  I  will.  [exexjnt. 

Now  then,  uncle  ?     WTien  do  you  plan  to  leave  for 

Carthage  ?     For  I've  decided  to  go  along  ^vith  you. 

{emphatically ,  nith  a  glance  at  Lycus'  house)  As  soon 

as  I  can,  at  once ! 

But  you  must  stay  here  a  few  days,  while  I  hold 

an  auction. 

I'll  do  as  you  wish. 

(turning  towards  his  house)  Come  then,  please,  let's 

go  in  and  make  ourselves  comfortable,  (to  audience) 

Give  us  your  applause.  [sixEtrax  omnes. 


US 


PSEUDOLUS 

M.   lUNIO.   M.  FIL.   PR.   URB. 
AC.   M. 


PSEUDOLUS 

ACTED  AT  THE  MEGALESIAN  GAMES 

IN  THE  CITY-PRAETORSHIP  OF  MARCUS 

JUNIUS,  SON   OF   MARCUS. 


I 


ARGVMENTVM  I 

Praesentis  numerat  quindecim  miles  minas, 
Simul  consignat  symbolum,  ut  Phoenicium 
Ei  det  leno,  qui  eum  cum  relicuo  adferat. 
Venientem  caculam  intervortit  symbolo, 
Dicens  Syrum  se  Ballionis,  Pseudolus 
Opemque  erili  ita  tulit ;  nam  Simmiae 
Leno  mulierem,  quem  is  supposuit,  tradidit. 
Venit  Harpax  verus  :  res  palam  cognoscitur, 
Senexque  argentum,  quod  erat  pactus,  reddidit. 


ARGVMENTVM  II 

Calidorus  iuvenis  meretrieem  Phoenicium 

ecflictim  deperibat,  nummorum  indigus ; 

eandem  miles,  qui  viginti  mulierem 

minis  mercatus  abiit,  solvit  quindecim. 

scortum  reliquit  ad  lenonem  ac  symbolum, 

ut  qui  attulisset  signum  simile  cetero 

cum  pretio,  secum  aveheret  emptam  mulierem. 

mox  missus  ut  prehendat  scortum  a  milite 

venit  calator  militaris.     hunc  dolo 

adgreditur  adulescentis  servus  Pseudolus  10 

tamquam  lenonis  atriensis  :  symbolum 

aufert,  minasque  quinque  acceptas  mutuas 

dat  subditicio  caculae  cum  symbolo ; 

lenonem  fallit  sycophanta  ^  cacula. 

scorto  Calidorus  potitur,  vino  Pseudolus. 

*  sycophanta  Ritschl :  secophantacie  corrupt  (Leo). 
146 


ARGUMENT  OF  THE  PLAY  (I) 

A  soldier  leaves  sixty  pounds,  paid  down  in  cash,  and 
also  his  seal  as  a  token,  with  a  pimp  who  is  to  give  Phoeni- 
cium  to  the  person  who  brings  him  such  a  token  and  the 
balance  of  the  money.  When  the  soldier's  henchman 
comes,  Pseudolus,  saying  he  is  Ballio's  Syrus,  diddles  him 
out  of  the  token,  so  assisting  his  young  master.  For  the 
pimp  hands  over  the  girl  to  Simmia,  who  is  palmed  off  as 
the  henchman.  The  real  Harpax  arrives  :  everything 
comes  to  light,  and  the  old  man  pays  the  sum  he  had 
agreed  to  pay. 


ARGUMENT  OF  THE  PLAY  (H) 

Young  Calidorus,  desperately  infatuated  with  a  courtesan, 
Phoenicium,  lacked  the  wherewithal.  A  soldier  purchased 
this  girl  for  eighty  pounds,  and  paying  sixty  down  went 
away.  He  left  the  wench  with  the  pimp,  also  a  token,  so 
that  the  man  who  brought  a  similar  seal  and  the  rest  of  the 
money  might  take  away  the  girl  he  had  bought.  Soon  an 
army  orderly  arrives,  sent  by  the  soldier  to  take  his  wench  in 
tow.  This  orderly  is  craftily  approached  by  Pseudolus, 
the  young  man's  slave,  who  pretends  to  be  the  pimp's 
major-domo.  He  makes  off  with  the  token,  and,  borrowing 
twenty  pounds,  gives  it,  together  with  the  token,  to  a 
counterfeit  henchman  of  the  soldier.  The  pimp  is  fooled 
by  the  sham  henchman.  Calidorus  obtains  his  wench, 
Pseudolus  some  wine. 

147 


PERSONAE 

PSEVDOLVS  SERVUS 
Calidorvs  ADULESCENS 
Ballio  leno 

SlMO  SENEX 
CaLLIPHO  SENEX 
HaRPAX  SERVUS 

Charinvs  adulescens 

PVER 

Cocvs 

SiMIA  SERVUS 


148 


DRAMATIS    PERSONAE 

PsEUDOLus,  slave  qfSimo. 

Calidorus,  son  of  Simo. 

Ballio,  a  pimp. 

Simo,  an  old  gentleman  oj"  Athens. 

Callipho,  his  friend. 

Harpax,  orderly  of  Polymachaeroplagides. 

Charinus,  a  friend  of  Calidorus. 

A  Slave  Boy,  belonging  to  Ballio. 

A  Cook. 

SiMiA,  slave  of  Charinus. 


149 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


PROLOGVSi 

Exporgi  meliust  lumbos  atque  exsurgier : 
Plautina  longa  fabula  in  scaenam  venit. 

ACTVS  I 

Pt.         Si  ex  te  tacente  fieri  possem  certior, 

ere,  quae  miseriae  te  tarn  misere  macerent, 

duorum  labori  ego  hominum  parsissem  lubens, 

mei  te  rogandi  et  tis  respondendi  mihi ; 

nunc  quoniam  id  fieri  non  potest,  necessitas 

me  subigit  ut  te  rogitem.     responde  mihi : 

quid  est  quod  tu  exanimatus  iam  hos  multos  dies 

gestas  tabellas  tecum,  eas  lacrumis  lavis,  10 

neque  tui  partieipem  consili  quemquam  facis  ? 

eloquere,  ut  quod  ego  nescio  id  tecum  sciam. 

Col.        Misere  miser  sum,  Pseudole. 

Ps.  Id  te  luppiter 

prohibessit. 

Cal.  Nihil  hoc  lovis  ad  iudicium  attinet : 

sub  Veneris  regno  vapulo,  non  sub  lovis. 

Pt.  Licet  me  id  scire  quid  sit  ?     nam  tu  me  antidhac 

supremum  habuisti  comitem  consiliis  tuis. 

Cal         Idem  animus  nunc  est. 

Ps,  Face  me  certum  quid  tibist ; 

iuvabo  aut  re  aut  opera  aut  consiHo  bono. 

*  Fragmentary  and  post-Plautine. 


PSEUDOLUS 

Scene: — Athens.  A  street  in  rvhich  stand  the  houses  of 
Calliphio,  Simo,  and  Ballio :  between  the  houses  are  narrow 
Uines. 

PROLOGUE 

You  had  better  stand  and  stretch  your  loins  :  a  play  by 
Plautus,  a  long  one,  is  now  to  be  enacted. 


ACT     I 

ENTER  Calidorus,  dazed  and  dreary,  followed  by  Pseudolus. 

Ps.  (ironically  solicitous)  If  your  silence,  master  mine, 
were  only  able  to  inform  me  what  sort  of  misery's 
making  you  so  damned  miserable,  I  should  have 
been  glad  to  save  two  men  trouble — me  in  asking 
you  and  you  in  answering  me.  Silence  seeming  to 
be  inadequate,  I  am  necessarily  compelled  to  ask 
you.  (more  earnestly)  Answer  me  :  why  is  it  you've 
been  going  around  half  alive  all  these  days,  carrying 
those  tablets,  washing  them  with  tears,  and  never 
taking  a  soul  into  your  confidence .''  Out  with  it, 
sir,  and  let  me  know  along  with  yourself  what  I 
don't  know. 

Cal.        Oh,  I'm  miserable,  Pseudolus,  so  miserable  I 

Ps.         Jupiter  forbid ! 

Cal.  (tvith  a  wan  smile)  This  case  is  not  within  the  juris- 
diction of  Jupiter.  'Twas  Venus  sentenced  me  to 
suffer,  not  Jupiter, 

P*.  But  can't  I  know  about  it  all,  sir?  Why,  you  used 
to  make  me  your  associate-councillor-in-chief. 

Cal.        (after  a  pause)  And  I  intend  to  now. 

Ps.  Do  inform  me  what's  ailing  you,  sir.  I'll  help — 
with  (grinning)  cash,  service,  or  good  advice. 

151 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Cal.         Cape  has  tabellas,  tute  hinc  narrato  tibi  20 

quae  me  miseria  et  cura  contabefacit. 
Ps.  Mos  tibi  geretur.     sed  quid  hoc,  quaeso  ? 

Cal.  Quid  est  ? 

Ps.  Vt  opinor,  quaerunt  litterae  hae  sibi  Uberos : 

aha  aham  scandit. 
Cal.  Ludis  iam  ludo  tuo  ? 

Ps.  Has  quidem  pol  credo  nisi  Sibulla  legerit, 

interpretari  ahum  posse  neminem. 
Cal.         Cur  inclementer  dicis  lepidis  htteris 

lepidis  tabelhs  lepida  conscriptis  manu  ? 
Ps.  An,  opsecro  hercle,  habent  quas  galhnae  manus  ? 

nam  has  quidem  galhna  scripsit. 
Cal.  Odiosus  mihi  es.       30 

lege  vel  tabellas  redde. 
Ps.  Immo  enim  pellegam. 

advortito  animum. 
Cal.  Non  adest. 

Ps.  At  tu  cita. 

Cal.         Immo  ego  tacebo,  tu  istinc  ex  cera  cita ; 

nam  istic  meus  animus  nunc  est,  non  in  pectore. 
Ps.  Tuam  amicam  video,  Calidore. 

Cal.  Vbi  ea  est,  opsecro  ? 

Ps.  Eccam  in  tabellis  porrectam  :  in  cera  cubat. 

Cal.         At  te  di  deaeque  quamtumst — 
Ps.  Servassint  quidem. 

Cal.         Quasi  solstitialis  herba  paulisper  fui : 

repente  exortus  sum,  repentino  occidi. 
Ps.  Tace,  dum  tabellas  pellego. 

Cal.  Ergo  quin  legis  ?  40 


PSEUDOLUS 

(sHll  hesitant,  then  tragically)  Take  these  tablets, 

(handing  them  to  him)  and  from  them  tell  yourself 

what  misery  and  solicitude  subwhelm  me ! 

Anything   to    oblige,  (examining    the   writing)  But 

what's  this,  for  heaven's  sake? 

What  do  you  mean  ? 

(chuckling)  I    judge    these    characters    are    after 

children,  the  way  they  climb  on  top  of  each  other. 

(tvounded)  Joking  now,  you  jester? 

Gad,  sir !    The  Sibyl  may  be  able  to  read  this,  but 

I  don't  believe  anyone  else  can  make  it  out. 

(rapturously)  Ah,  why  do  you  disparage  the  dainty 

writing  in  dainty  tablets  indited  by  a  dainty  hand  ? 

Lord  save  us !     Have  hens  got  any  hands  ?     For  it 

surely  was  a  hen  wrote  this. 

You  annoy  me !     Read  the  letter,  or  give  it  back. 

No,  no.     I'll  plough  through  it.     (preparing  to  read 

aloud)  Give  me  your  sole  attention. 

(sighing  heavily)  My  soul  is  not  here. 

Well,  summon  it. 

No,  not  a  word  from  me!     Summon  it  yourself 

from  the  wax  there,     (indicating  the  tablets)  For 

it  is  there  my  soul  is  now,  and  not  within  me. 

(tvith  a  start)  Oh,  I  see  your  girl  friend,  sir ! 

(excitedly)  Where  ?     For  heaven's  sake  where  ? 

(pointing  to  her  name  and  guffawing)  Look !     At  full 

length  on  the  tablets,  lying  in  wax. 

(feebly    indignant)  Ugh!     May    all    the    powers 

above 

(interrupting  cheerfully)  Preserve  me,  of  course,  sir. 
(tragic  again)  Like  the  summer  grass  I  flourished 
but  for  a  moment:  quickly  I  sprang  up  and,  ah, 
quickly  did  I  wither ! 

Hush,  sir,  till  I  read  these  tablets  through. 
Then  why  not  read  ? 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  '  Phoenicium  Calidoro  amatori  suo 

per  ceram  et  lignum  litterasque  interpretes 
salutem  mittit  et  salutem  abs  te  expetit, 
lacrumans  titubanti  animo,  corde  et  pectore.' 

Cal.         Perii,  salutem  nusquam  invenio,  Pseudole, 
quam  illi  remittam. 

Ps.  Quam  salutem  ? 

Cal.  Argenteam. 

Ps.  Pro  ligneam  salute  vis  argenteam 

remittere  illi  ?     vide  sis  quam  tu  rem  geras. 

Cal.        Recita  modo :  ex  tabellis  iam  faxo  scies 

quam  subito  argento  mi  usus  invento  siet.  50 

Ps.  '  Leno  me  peregre  militi  Macedonio 

minis  viginti  vendidit,  voluptas  mea ; 
et  prius  quam  hinc  abiit,  quindecim  miles  minas 
dederat ;  nunc  unae  quinque  remorantur  minae. 
ea  causa  miles  hie  reliquit  symbolum, 
expressam  in  cera  ex  anulo  suam  imaginem, 
ut  qui  hue  adferret  eius  similem  symbolum, 
cum  eo  simul  me  mitteret.     ei  rei  dies 
haec  praestituta  est,  proxuma  Dionysia.* 
eras  ea  quidem  sunt. 

Ced.  Prope  adest  exitium  mihi,  60 

nisi  quid  mihi  in  te  est  auxili. 

Ps.  Sine  pellegam. 

Cal.         Sino,  nam  mihi  videor  cum  ea  fabularier ; 

lege :  dulce  amarumque  una  nunc  misces  mihi. 

Ps.  '  Nunc  nostri  amores  mores  consuetudines,^ 

compressiones  artae  amantum  corporum, 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  65  : 
iocus  Indus  sermo  suavisaviaiio. 

V.  65  :  Mirth  and  merriment,  converse  and  kissingo  so- 
sweet. 

154 


PSEUDOLUS 

(mth  due  seniimental  stress)  "  Phoenicium  to  her 
lover  Calidoms,  through  this  medium  of  wax  and 
wood  and  letters,  sends  her  dearest  wishes,  and 
longs  to  have  her  own  dearest  wish  from  you,  longs 
for  it  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  with  mind  and  heart 
and  soul  all  tremulous." 

Oh,  'tis  dreadful,  Pseudolus !     Nowhere  can  I  find 
her  dearest  wish  to  send  back  to  her. 
(dryly)  Her  dearest  wish  being  what  ? 
(lugubriously)  Something  in  silver. 
You  want  to  return  her  dearest  wishes  in  silver, 
when  you  get  'em  in  (holding  up  the  tabl€ts)v,ood} 
Man,  man,  try  to  be  business-Uke. 
Ah,  but  just  read  on.     I  warrant  you  will  soon 
learn  from  the  letter  how  rapidly  I  need  to  have 
that  silver  found. 

"  The  pimp  has  sold  me  for  eighty  pounds  to  a 
Macedonian  soldier,  to  be  taken  to  some  strange 
land,  my  sweetheart.  And  before  the  soldier 
went  away  he  paid  down  sixty  pounds ;  so  all 
that  delays  things  now  is  twenty  pounds.  Be- 
cause of  this  he  left  a  token  with  the  pimp — ^his 
own  Ukeness  stamped  on  wax  with  his  ring — and  I 
was  to  be  sent  along  with  the  man  who  brought 
him  a  similar  token.  The  day  fixed  upon  for 
all  this  is  the  next  Dionysia."  Hm  !  That's 
to-morrow. 

(gasping)  My  doom  is  close  at  hand,  unless  I  find 
some  help  in  you ! 
Let  me  read  it  through. 

Yes,  yes,  for  it  makes  me  feel  that  I  am  talking 
with  her.  Read !  Ah,  the  mixture  of  sweet  and 
bitter  you  ser\'e  me  now ! 

"  Now  all  our  days  and  ways  of  love  and  dear 
familiarity,^  all  the  cuddling  of  beloved  bodies  close, 

«55 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

teneris  labellis  molles  morsiunculae,^ 

papillarum  horridularum  oppressiunculae, 

harunc  voluptatum  mi  omnium  atque  itidem  tibi 

distractio  discidium  vastities  venit,  70 

nisi  quae  mihi  in  test  aut  tibist  in  me  salus. 

haec  quae  ego  scivi  ut  scires  curavi  omnia ; 

nunc  ego  te  experiar  quid  ames,  quid  simules.    vale.' 

Cal.        Est  misere  scriptum,  Pseudole. 

Ps.  O,  miserrime. 

Cal.        Quin  fles  ? 

Ps.  Pumiceos  oculos  habeo :  non  queo 

lacrumam  exorare  ut  expuant  unam  modo. 

Cal.        Quidita? 

Ps.  Genus  nostrum  semper  siccoculum  fuit. 

Cal.        Nilne  adiuvare  me  audes  ? 

Ps.  Quid  faciam  tibi  ? 

Cal.        Eheu. 

Ps.  Eheu  ?  id  quidem  hercle  ne  parsis  :  dabo. 

Cal.         Miser  sum,  argentum  nusquam  invenio  mutuom.  80 

Ps.  Eheu. 

Cal.  Neque  intus  nummus  ullus  est. 

Ps.  Eheu. 

Cal.        Ille  abducturus  est  mulierem  eras. 

Ps.  Eheu. 

Cal.        Istocine  pacto  me  adiuvas  ? 

Ps.  Do  id  quod  mihi  est ; 

nam  is  mihi  the  saurus  iugis  in  nostra  est  domo. 

CaL        Actum  est  de  me  hodie.     sed  potes  nunc  mutuam 

1  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  67": 
nosirorum  orgiorum — iuncvlae. 


PSEUDOLUS 

all  the  soft  little  bites  of  sweet  little  lips,  all  the 
fond  little  squeezing  and  teasing  of  breasts — all 
these  delights  of  mine  and  yours,  and  yours,  will  be 
torn  away,  torn  asunder,  ended  for  etemaldom, 
xmless  I  find  my  salvation  in  you,  or  you  yours  in 
me.  I  have  informed  you  fully  of  all  this  that  I 
have  learned.  Now  I  shall  test  the  truth,  or  false- 
hood, of  your  love.  Farewell." 
(jjuite  dissolved)  She  writes  so  .  .  .  (choking)  wo- 
fuUy,  Pseudolus! 

{irith  a  disgusted  glance  at  the  handwriting)  Oh,  so 
damned  wofuUy ! 

Why  are  you  not   .    .    .   weeping  ? 
My  eyes  are  made  of  pumice-stone.     Can't  entice 
*em  to  emit  one  solitary  tear. 
How  is   .   .   .   that? 

Our  breed  always  was  a  lot  of  dry-eyes,  sir. 
Are  you  not  willing  to   .   .   .   help  me  at  all  ? 
What  am  I  to  do  for  you  ? 
Ah  me! 

"  Ah  me  "?      Gad,  spare  no  "  Ah  me's  ":      111 
supply  'em. 

Oh  dear,  oh  dear !     Nowhere  can  I  find  a  firiend  to 
.    .    .   borrow  of! 
{dolefully)  Ah  me ! 
And  not  a  sixpence  have  I ! 
Ah  me! 

And  to-morrow  that  man  will   .   .   .   take  away  my 
girl! 
Ah  me! 

Is  that  the  way  you  .   .   .  help  me  ? 
I  give  you  what  I've  got,  sir;    and  I've  piled  up 
enough  "  Ah  me's  "  in  our  house  to  last  for  ever. 
{changing  his  tone  to  one  of  grim  desperation)  This  is 
the  end  of  me !    But  can  you  lend  me  just  a  single 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

drachumam  dare  unam  mihi,  quam  eras  reddam 
tibi? 
Ps.  Vix  herele,  opinor,  si  me  opponam  pignori. 

sed  quid  ea  drachuma  facere  vis  ? 
Cal.  Restim  volo 

mihi  emere. 
Ps.  Quam  ob  rem  ? 

Cal.  Qui  me  faciam  pensilem. 

certum  est  mihi  ante  tenebras  tenebras  persequi.  90 

Ps.  Quis  mi  igitur  drachumam  reddet,  si  dedero  tibi  ? 

an  tu  te  ea  causa  vis  sciens  suspendere 

ut  me  defraudes,  drachumam  si  dederim  tibi  ? 
Cal.         Profecto  nullo  pacto  possum  vivere, 

si  ilia  a  me  abalienatur  atque  abducitur. 
Ps.  Quid  fles,  cucule  ?   vives. 

Cal.  Quid  ego  ni  fleam, 

quoi  nee  paratus  nimunus  argenti  siet 

neque  libellai  spes  sit  usquam  gentium  ? 
Ps.  Vt  litterarum  ego  harum  sermonem  audio, 

nisi  tu  illi  lacrumis  fleveris  argenteis,  100 

quod  tu  istis  lacrumis  te  probare  postulas, 

non  pluris  refert  quam  si  imbrem  in  cribrum  geras. 

verum  ego  te  amantem,  ne  pave,  non  deseram. 

spero  alicunde  hodie  me  bona  opera  aut  hac  mea 

tibi  inventurum  esse  auxilium  argentarium. 

atque  id  futurum  unde  unde  dicam  nescio, 

nisi  quia  futurum  est :  ita  supercilium  salit. 
Cal.        Vtinam  quae  dicis  dictis  facta  suppetant. 

158 


PSEUDOLUS 

shilling  now,   which   I   shall   give   you  back   to- 


morrow 


Gad !     I  hardly  think  I  could,  even  if  I  offered  my 
carcase  for  security.     But  what  d'ye  want  to  do 
with  the  shilling  ? 
I  wish  to  buy  myself  a  rope. 
What  for? 

To  make  myself  a  swinging  shape !  I  am  resolved 
ere  darkness  falls  to  plunge  me  into  darkness ! 
(rvitk  assumed  indignation)  Then  who'll  give  me 
back  my  shilUng,  if  I've  given  it  to  you?  Is  this 
why  you  want  to  be  so  smart  and  hang  yourself, 
so  as  to  swindle  me,  once  you  get  my  shilling? 
(turning  again  to  tears)  It  is  plain  that  hfe  is  .  .  . 
perfectly  impossible,  if  she  be  torn  away  from  me 
and   .    .    .   taken  off! 

(rvith    contemptuous    reassurance)  Why    weep,    you 
cuckoo  ?     You  shall  hve. 

And  why  should  I  not  .  .  .  weep,  without  a 
sixpence  to  my  name,  or  any  hope  of  a  .  .  . 
penny  from  anywhere  on  earth  ? 
To  judge  from  the  talk  in  this  letter,  the  case  calls 
for  your  weeping  out  some  silver  tears.  Trying  to 
ingratiate  yourself  with  tears  Uke  those  does  no 
more  good  than  pouring  a  shower  into  a  sieve. 
{clapping  him  on  the  shoulder)  But  never  fear !  I 
won't  desert  my  loving  master.  Somewhere  to- 
day, thanks  to  honest  effort,  or  to  this  article,  (jvith 
a  nave  of  his  left  hand)  I  have  hopes  of  finding  means 
to  serve  you — in  silver.  Where  in  the  world  it's 
coming  from,  however,  I  can't  yet  say ;  I  only 
know  it's  coming.  The  twitching  of  my  eyebrow 
tells  me  that. 

I  only  wish  the  things  you   ...   do  would  come 
up  to  the  things  you  say. 

«59 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

P*.  Scis  tu  quidem  hercle,  mea  si  commovi  sacra, 

quo  pacto  et  quantas  soleam  turbellas  dare.  110 

Cal.        In  te  nunc  omnes  spes  sunt  aetati  meae. 
P*.  Satin  est,  si  hanc  hodie  mulierem  efficio  tibi 

tua  ut  sit,  aut  si  tibi  do  viginti  minas  ? 
Cal.        Satis,  si  futurumst. 
Ps.  Roga  me  viginti  minas, 

ut  me  effecturum  tibi  quod  promisi  scias. 

roga,  opsecro  hercle.  gestio  promittere. 
Cal.  Dabisne  argenti  mi  hodie  viginti  minas  ? 
P#.  Dabo.     molestus  nunciam  ne  sis  mihi. 

atque  hoc,  ne  dictum  tibi  neges,  dico  prius : 

si  neminem  alium  potero,  tuom  tangam  patrem.  120 

Cal.        Di  te  mihi  semper  servent.     verum,  si  potest, 

pietatis  causa — vel  etiam  matrem  quoque. 
Ps,         De  istac  re  in  oculum  utrumvis  conquiescito. 
Cal,        Oculum  anne  in  aurem  ? 
Ps.  At  hoc  pervolgatumst  minus. 

nunc,  ne  quis  dictum  sibi  neget,  dico  omnibus, 

pube  praesenti  in  contione,  omni  poplo, 

omnibus  amicis  notisque  edico  meis, 

in  hunc  diem  a  me  ut  caveant,  ne  credant  mihi. 
Cal.        St,  tace  opsecro  hercle. 

1 60 


PSEUDOLUS 

Gad,  you  know  yourself  how  things  do  happen, 
what  fine  young  rumpuses  I  raise,  once  I've 
waved  my  sacred  wand,  (meditates) 
All  hopes  for  my  .  .  .  existence  now  rest  in  you. 
{seemingly  confiderd)  Enough,  is  it,  if  I  get  this  girl 
for  you  to-day,  for  your  very  own,  or  if  I  give  you 
eighty  pounds  ? 

{still  hopeless)  Enough,  yes,  if  it  .  .  .  happens. 
{seeming  to  he  supremely  confident)  Make  formal 
demand  of  me  for  eighty  pounds,  so  as  to  know  I'll 
fulfil  my  promise,  {as  Calidorus  still  remains 
uncheered)  For  God's  sake,  make  your  demand! 
I'm  aching  to  promise. 

{formally,  now  impressed)  Will  you  give  me  eighty 
pounds  to-day? 

(formally)  I  will,  {masierfolly)  Now  don't  bother 
me  any  more.  Yes,  and  so  that  you  mayn't  deny 
being  told,  I  tell  you  this  beforehand — if  no  other 
victim's  to  be  found,  I'll  touch  your  father  for  it. 
{quite  revived  and  hugging  Pseudolus  ecstatically) 
God  for  ever  keep  you  for  me !  {suddenly  grave) 
But  filial  duty  leads  me  to  suggest  that  if  possible 
you — {gleefolly)  even  try  my  mother  too. 
As  to  that,  you  can  rest  easy  and  sleep  on  either 
— eye. 

Eye,  do  you  mean,  or  ear  ? 

Ah,  but  my  phrase  is  less  platitudinous,  {gaily 
imitating  a  public  crier)  Now,  that  none  may  say  he 
was  not  notified,  to  all  men,  to  adults  here  present 
in  assembly,  to  all  the  populace,  I  do  give  notice, 
and  to  all  my  friends  and  acquaintances  I  do  an- 
nounce that  they  this  day  are  to  beware  of  me  and 
trust  me  not ! 

{glancing  toward  Ballio's  house)  Sh-h !  Shut  up,  for 
heaven's  sakel 

i6i 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

P$.  Quid  negoti  est  ? 

Cal.  Ostium    130 

lenonis  crepuit. 
Ps.  Crura  mavellem  modo. 

Cal.        Atque  ipse  egreditur  intus,  periuri  caput. 

1.2. 

Bal.        Exite,  agite  exite,  ignavi,  male  habiti  et  male  con- 

ciliati, 
quorum  numquam  quicquam  quoiquam  venit  in  men- 

tem  ut  recte  faciant, 
quibus,  nisi  ad  hoc  exemplum  experior,  non  potest 

usura  usurpari. 
neque  ego  homines  magis  asinos  numquam  vidi,  ita 

plagis  costae  callent : 
quos  quom  ferias,  tibi  plus  noceas ;  eo  enim  ingenio 

hi  sunt  flagritribae, 
qui  haec  habent  consilia,  ubi  data  occasiost,  rape 

clepe  tene 
harpaga  bibe  es  fuge  :  hoc 

est  eorum  opus,  ut  mavelis  lupos  apud  ovis  linquere,  140 
quam  hos  domi  custodes. 
at  faciem  quom  aspicias  eorum,  hau  maU  videntur: 

opera  fallunt. 
nunc  adeo  hanc  edictionem  nisi  animum  advortetis 

omnes, 
nisi   somnum   socordiamque   ex   pectore   oculisque 

exmovetis, 
ita  ego  vestra  latera  loris  faciam  ut  valide  varia  sint, 
ut  ne  peristromata  quidem  aeque  picta  sint  Cam- 

panica 
neque  Alexandrina  beluata  tonsilia  tappetia. 
atque  heri  iam  edixeram  omnibus  dederamque  eas 

provincias, 
verum  ita  vos  estis  praediti  callenti  ingenio  improbi, 
officium  vestrum  ut  vos  malo  cogatis  commonerier.     150 
162 


PSEUDOLUS 

What's  the  matter  ? 
I.        (pulling  him  back  into  the  alley)  I  heard  the  pimp's 

door  snap, 

I  only  wish  it  was  his  legs. 
/.       Yes,  and  there  he  is  coming  out,  the  fount  of 

perjury ! 

Scene  2.     enter  Ballio,  cracking  a  whip,  and  followed  by 

A  TROOP   OF   SLAVES. 

/.  {ferociously)  Out  with  you,  come  on,  out  with  you, 
good-for-nothings  I'm  a  fool  to  keep  and  was  a  fool 
to  buy,  with  never  any  one  of  'em  having  any  no- 
tion of  doing  anything  right,  with  no  jx)ssibility  of 
getting  anything  out  of  'em,  unless  I  try  this  treat- 
ment !  {heats  them  laboriously)  Men  more  like  asses 
I  never  did  see — ribs  cudgelled  callous !  WTien  you 
beat  them,  it's  yourself  you  hurt  most.  Yes,  here's 
the  sort  these  whip-wasters  are,  this  is  the  word 
with  them — when  you  get  your  chance,  rob,  filch, 
grab,  loot,  guzzle,  stuff,  run.  This  is  the  way  they 
work  it,  and  the  result  is  you'd  rather  leave  wolves 
in  charge  of  sheep  than  these  chaps  in  charge  at 
home,  {surveying  them)  Yet  when  you  look  'em 
over  they  don't  seem  bad.  It's  the  work  that  fails  ! 
{swishing  his  whip)  Now  then !  Unless  all  you  fellows 
pay  attention  to  this  pronunciamento,  unless  you  dig 
the  sleep  and  sloth  out  of  your  chests  and  eyes,  I'll 
flog  your  flanks  till  they're  perfectly  p>olychrome, 
make  'em  more  colourful  than  Campanian  draperies 
or  clipped  Alexandrian  rugs  with  their  embeastified 
embroidery !  Ugh !  I  had  already  issued  orders 
and  assigned  all  of  you  your  provinces  yesterday,  but 
you  rascals  are  blessed  with  brains  so  callous  that 
you  positively  require  a  thrashing  to  remind  you  of 
your  duties,     {after  another  exhausting  round)  That's 

163 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nempe  ita  animati  estis  vos :    vincitis  duritia  hoc 

atque  me. 
hoc  sis  vide,  ut   alias  res    agunt.     hoc  agite,  hoc 

animum  advortite, 
hue  adhibete  auris  quae  ego  loquor,  plagigera  genera 

hominum. 
numquam  edepol  vostrum  durius  tergum  erit  quam 

terginum  hoc  meum. 
quid  nunc?     doletne?     em  sic  datur,  si  quis  erum 

servos  spernit. 
adsistite  omnes  contra  me  et  quae  loquar  advortite 

animum. 
tu  qui  urnara  habes   aquam  ingere,  face  plenum 

ahenum  sit  coco, 
te  cum  securi  caudicali  praeficio  provinciae. 
Servtis.    At  haec  retunsast. 
Bal.  Sine  siet ;  itidem  vos  quoque  estis  plagis  ^ : 

numqui  minus  ea  gratia  tamen  omnium  opera  utor  ?  160 
tibi  hoc  praecipio  ut  niteant  aedes.     habes  quod 

facias  :  propera,  abi  intro. 
tu  esto  lectisterniator.     tu  argentum  eluito,  idem 

exstruito. 
haec,  quom  ego  a  foro  revortar,  facite  ut  offendam 

parata, 
vorsa  sparsa,  tersa  strata,  lautaque  unctaque  omnia 

ut  sint. 
nam  mi  hodie  natalis  dies  est,  decet  emn  omnis  vos 

concelebrare. 
pernam    callum    glandium    sumen    facito   in   aqua 

iaceant.  satin  audis  ? 
magnifice  volo  me  viros  summos  accipere,  ut  mihi 

rem  esse  reantur. 
intro  abite  atque  haec  cite  celerate,  ne  mora  quae  sit, 

cocus  cum  veniat ; 

1  Leo  brackets  following  omnet. 
164 


PSEUDOLUS 

the  way  you're  made,  it  certainly  is :  you  and  your 
toughness  are  too  much  for  this  {rvearily  eyeing  hit 
whip)  and  me.  {savagely,  as  the  slaves  compare 
welts)  Look  at  that,  will  you — how  they're  minding 
something  else !  This  is  what  to  mind,  this  is  what 
to  attend  to,  this  is  where  to  turn  your  ears — to 
what  I  say,  you  assortment  of  crackscarriers ! 
(getting  afresh  grip  on  his  whip)  By  the  Lord,  your 
hide  shan't  be  tougher  than  my  rawhide  here, 
never !  (laying  into  one  of  them)  What  now  ?  Does 
it  hurt  ?  There !  That  for  a  slave  that  scorns  his 
master !  Now  all  line  up  in  front  of  me,  (they  do  so) 
and  pay  attention  to  what  I  tell  you.  (to  one  of 
them)  You  there,  with  the  pail,  fetch  water  and 
see  the  cook's  boiler's  filled,  (to  another)  And  you 
with  the  axe — I  appoint  you  Chief  of  the  Chopster 
Department. 

Slave      But  this  axe  is  dull,  sir. 

Bal.  What  if  it  is  ?  So  are  you  fellows  too,  with  drub- 
bings. But  does  that  make  me  any  less  keen  to  get 
what  good  I  can  out  of  the  gang  of  you  ?  (to  another) 
And  you — your  instructions  are  to  make  the  house 
shine.     You  have  your  job :   hurry  up,  go  on  in ! 

[exit  Slave, 
(to  another)  As  for  you,  you  be  Lord  High  Couch- 
draper,  (to  another)  You  clean  the  silver  and  set 
it  out.  Now  when  I  return  from  the  forum,  let 
me  find  all  these  things  ready,  swept,  sprinkled, 
polished,  draped,  everything  spick  and  span.  For 
to-day's  my  birthday  and  you  all  ought  to  celebrate 
it.  (to  a  kitchen  slave)  The  ham,  rind,  sweetbreads 
and  sow's  udder  are  to  he  in  water,  mind.  D'ye 
hear  ?  I  want  to  entertain  some  high-class  gentle- 
men in  grand  style,  and  make  'em  think  I've  got 
money.     Go  on  in  and  hurry  all  this  right  along,  so 

i6s 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

ego  eo  in  macellum,  ut  piscimn  quidquid  ibist  pretio 

praestinem. 
i,  puere,  prae;    ne  quisquam  pertundat  cruminam 

cautiost.  170 

vel  opperire,  est  quod  domi  dicere  paene  fui  oblitus. 
auditin?     vobis,  mulieres,  banc  habeo  edictionem. 
vos,  quae  in  munditiis,  mollitiis  deliciisque  aetatulam 

agitis, 
viris  cum  summis,  inclutae  amicae,  nunc  ego  scibo 

atque  hodie  experiar, 
quae  capiti,  quae  ventri  operam  det,  quae  suae  rei, 

quae  somno  studeat ; 
quam  libertam  fore  mihi  credam  et  quam  venalem, 

hodie  experiar. 
facite  hodie  ut  mihi  munera  multa  hue  ab  amatoribus 

conveniant. 
nam  nisi  mihi  penus  annuos  hodie  ^  convenit,  eras 

populo  prostituam  vos. 
natalem  scitis  mi  esse  diem  hunc :  ubi  isti  sunt  quibus 

vos  oculi  estis, 
quibus   vitae,  quibus   deliciae    estis,  quibus    savia, 

mammia,  mellillae  ?  180 

maniplatim  mihi  munerigeruli  facite  ante  aedis  iam 

hie  adsint. 
cur  ego  vestem,  aurum  atque  ea  quibus  est  vobis 

usus,  praehibeo  ?     aut  quid  mi 
domi  nisi  malum  vestra  operast  hodie?     improbae 

vini  modo  cupidae  estis : 
eo  vos  2  vestros  panticesque  adeo  madefactatis,  quom 

ego  sim  hie  siccus, 
nunc  adeo  hoc  factust  optumum,  ut  nomine  quemque 

appellem  suo, 


Corrupt  (Leo) :  poplo  Lindsay. 

Corrupt  (Leo) :   vestrosque  adeo  panticis  Nonius. 


1 66 


PSEUDOLUS 

that  there'll  be  no  delay  when  the  cook  comes. 
I'm  going  to  market  myself  and  see  what  sort  of 
bargain  I  can  strike  on  any  fish  they  have,  (turns 
to  go) 

[exeunt  Slaves,  zxcept  a  boy  carrying  a  wallet. 
Boy,  you  go  before  me:  we  must  watch  that  no 
cutpurse  gets  to  work,  (halting)  Hold  on,  though ! 
There's  something  I  almost  forgot  to  say  at  home. 
(goes  to  his  door  and  yells)  D'ye  hear?  You 
women !  This  is  a  pronunciamento  for  you !  (as  his 
courtesans  appear  in  the  doornay)  See  here,  you 
that  bask  away  your  soft  young  years  in  elegance, 
ease,  and  dehghts,  you  celebrated  sweeties  with 
your  high-class  gentlemen  friends,  now  I'll  learn, 
to-day  I'll  prove,  which  of  you  is  looking  to  her 
freedom  and  which  to  her  belly ;  which  is  interested 
in  her  own  welfare,  and  which  in  sleep.  This  day 
ni  prove  which  I'm  to  regard  as  my  future  freed- 
woman,  and  which  as  a  slave  for  sale.  Make  sure 
I  see  your  lovers'  gifts  come  showering  in  on  me 
this  day.  For  unless  a  year's  provisions  come  in 
to-day,  I'll  put  you  out  as  conmion  prostitutes  to- 
morrow. This  is  my  birthday,  and  you  know  it. 
Well  then,  where  are  those  fond  fools  whose  lights 
of  eye  and  joys  of  hfe  and  blisses  of  soul  and  kisses 
of  rapture  and  mummykins  and  honeykins  you're 
supposed  to  be  ?  Right  here  in  front  of  the  House, 
and  soon,  you're  to  produce  me  whole  platoons  of 
present-bearers.  WTiy  do  I  furnish  you  with 
clothes,  jewels,  and  the  things  you  need?  Or 
what  have  I  to  show  for  any  work  of  yours  to-day 
except  a  loss  ?  The  only  passion  you  jades  show  is 
for  wine :  with  that  you  and  your  paunches  are 
fairly  irrigated,  while  I  go  dry.  Now  then,  (glaring 
at  them  severally)  the  best  thing  I  can  do  is  address 

167 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

ne  dictum  esse  aetutum   sibi  quaepiam  vostrarum 

mihi  neget : 
advortite  animum  cunetae. 
princjpio,   Hedytium,   tecum    ago,   quae    amica   es 

frumentariis, 
quibus  cunctis  montes  maxumi^  frumenti  sunt  domi : 
fac  sis  sit  delatum  hue  mihi  frumentum,  hunc  annum 

quod  satis,  190 

mi  et  famihae  omni  sit  meae,  atque  adeo  ut  frumento 

afluam, 
ut  civitas  nomen  mihi  commutet  meque  ut  praedicet 
lenone  ex  Ballione  regem  lasonem. 
Cal.         Audin,  furcifer  quae  loquitur  ?   satin  magnificus  tibi 

videtur  ? 
Ps.  Pol  iste,  atque  etiam  malificus. 

sed  tace  atque  hanc  rem  gere. 
Bal.        Aeschrodora,  tu   quae   amicos  tibi  habes  lenonum 

aemulos 
lanios,   qui,  item  ut  nos  iurando,  iure  male  male 

quaerunt  rem,  audi : 
nisi  carnaria  tria  gravida  tegoribus  onere  uberi  hodie 
mihi  erunt,  eras  te  quasi  Dircam  olim,  ut  memorant, 

duo  gnati  lovis 
devinxere  ad  taurum,  item  ego  te  distringam  ad 

carnarium ;  200 

id  tibi  profecto  taurus  fiet. 
Cal.  Nimis  sermone  huius  ira  incendor, 

Ps.  Huncine  hie  hominem  pati 

colere  iuventutem  Atticam  ? 
ubi  sunt,  ubi  latent   quibus  aetas  integra  est,  qui 

amant  a  lenone  ? 
quin  conveniunt  ?  quin  una  omnes  peste  hac  populimi 

hunc  liberant? 
sed  nimium  stultus,  nimis  fui 
indoctus :   illine  audeant 

1 68 


PSEUDOLUS 

you  each  by  name  and  so  prevent  any  one  of  you 
saying  by  and  by  that  she  wasn't  told.  Attention, 
all  of  you!  Hedytium,  I'll  begin  with  you,  the 
darling  of  the  grain  dealers,  who  all  have  great  big 
mountains  of  grain  in  store — you  kindly  see  that  1 
get  grain  brought  here,  enough  for  this  year,  for 
me  and  my  whole  household,  grain  galore,  till  I'm 
so  flooded  with  it  that  the  city '11  change  my  name, 
and  instead  of  BalUo  the  Pimp,  proclaim  me  Jason  ^ 
the  King. 

(aside  to  Pseudolus)  Do  you  hear  how  the  jailbird 
talks?     Hasn't  he  a  magnificent  air? 
Gad,  yes !     Also  maleficent.     Hush,  though,  and 
attend  to  business  here !  {nodding  toward  Ballio) 
Aeschrodora,  Hsten  here,  you!     Your  friends  are 
the  chophouse  keepers  that  compete  with  us  pimps 
in  the  same  damned  trade  of  stuffing  folks  with 
what's  damned  hard  to  swallow.     Unless  the  hooks 
of   three  meat-frames  are    loaded  with    fine  big 
chines  for  me  to-day,  then  to-morrow — the  same  as 
those  two  sons  of  Jove  in  days  of  yore  are  said  to 
have  bound  Dirce  to  a  bull — I'll  stretch  you  out  on  a 
meat-frame.     That'll  be  a  bull  you  can  count  on. 
(aside  to  Pseudolus)  Oh,  it  just  makes  me  boil  to 
hear  him ! 

(aside  to  Calidorus,  meaningly)  The  idea  of  our  young 
Athenians  letting  this  sort  of  fellow  flourish  here ! 
Where  are  they,  where  are  they  hiding,  the  lusty 
lads  that  go  to  the  pimp  for  their  girls?  Why 
don't  they  get  together?  WTiy  don't  they  all 
combine  and  rid  the  public  of  this  pest  ?  (contemp- 
tuously) But  what  an  ass,  what  a  ninny  I  am !  They 

^  A  Thessalian  tjrrant. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  actrvi. 

169 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

id  facere  quibus  ut  serviant 
suos  amor  cogit?^ 
Cal.  Vah  tace. 

Ps.  Quid  est? 

Cal.         Male  morigeru's  mihi,  quom  sermoni  huius  obsonas. 
Ps.  Taceo. 

Cal.  At  taceas  malo  multo  quam  tacere  dicas. 

Bal.  Tu  autem, 

Xystilis,  fac  ut  animum   advortas,  quoius  amatores 

olivi  210 

Siivajxtv  domi  habent  maxumam. 
si  mihi  non  iam  hue  cuUeis 
oleum  deportatum  erit, 
te  ipsam  culleo  ego  eras  faciam  ut  deportere — ^in 

pergulam ; 
ibi   tibi   adeo  lectus  dabitur,   ubi   tu  hau   somnum 

capias,  sed  ubi 
usque  ad  languorem — tenes 
quo  se  haec  tendant  quae  loquor. 
ain,  excetra  tu  ?  quae  tibi  amicos  tot  habes  tam  probe 

oleo  onustos, 
num  quoipiam  est  hodie  tua  tuorum  opera  conser- 

vorum 
nitidiusculum  caput?     aut  num  ipse  ego  pulmento 

utor  magis  220 

unctiusculo  ?     sed  scio,  tu  oleum  hau  magni  pendis, 

vino 
te  devincis.     sine  modo, 
reprehendam   hercle   ego    cuncta    una    opera,  nisi 

quidem  hodie  tu  omnia 
facis  effecta  haec  ut  loquor. 
tu  autem,  quae  pro  capite  argentum  mihi  iam  iamque 

semper  numeras, 
ea  pacisci  modo  scis,  sed  quod  pacta  es  non  scis 

solvere, 
170 


i 


PSEUDOLUS 

dare  do  that  to  the  fellows  their  passions  make  'em 
slaves  of  ?^ 
Ugh!    Hush! 
What's  the  matter  ? 

It's  small  service  you  show  me,  a-blathering  in  on 
what  he  (indicating  Ballid)  says. 
Hushed  I  am. 

But  I  had  much  rather  see  you  so  than  hear  you  say 
you're  so. 

Now  for  you,  Xystilis — accord  me  your  attention! 
Your  adorers  have  lots  and  lots  of  oil  in  store,  heau- 
coup  oil.  If  I  don't  soon  have  oil  delivered  here  by 
the  leather  bagful,  to-morrow  you'll  be  put  in  a 
leather  bag  yourself  and  delivered  to  the  brothel 
shed.  Yes,  and  there  you'll  be  given  a  bed,  where 
you'll  get  no  sleep,  but  where  you'll  get  to  the  faint- 
ing-point — you  follow  the  drift  of  my  remarks. 
So,  you  viper?  You  with  all  those  friends  simply 
overladen  with  oil — yet,  thanks  to  you,  has  any  one 
of  your  fellow-slaves  got  a  head  the  least  bit 
shinier?  Or  do  I  find  my  own  salad  any  the 
oleaginouser  ?  But  I  understand — you  don't  think 
much  of  oil ;  what  wins  the  day  with  you  is  wine. 
All  right,  all  right!  By  the  Lord,  I'll  settle  all 
scores  at  one  crack,  I  will,  unless  you  get  all  this 
done  to-day  j  ust  as  I  tell  you !  And  now  for  you, 
Phoenicium,  you  pet  of  the  ehte,  that  are  eternally 
going  to  count  me  out  the  cash  for  your  freedom, 
that  only  know  how  to  make  an  agreement,  with 
never  a  notion  of  how  to  fulfil  it — this  is  my  word  to 

*  Vv.  206-7  :     And  also  prevents  their  doing  to  'em 
what  they  don't  want. 

*  Leo  brackets  following 
aimiU  prohibei  faciant  adveraum  eoa  quod  nolunt. 

171 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Phoenicium,  tibi  ego  haec  loquor,  deliciae  summatum 

virum : 
nisi  hodie  mi  ex  fundis  tuorum  amicorum  omne  hue 

penus  adfertur, 
eras  Phoenicium  poeniceo  corio  invises  pergulam. 

1.3. 

Cal.        Pseudole,  non  audis  quae  hie  loquitur? 

Ps.  Audio,  ere,  equidem  atque  animum  advorto.  230 

Cal.        Quid  mi  es  auctor,  huie  ut  mittam,  ne  amicam  hie 

meam  prostituat  ? 
Ps.  Nil  curassis,  liquido  es  animo :  ego  pro  me  et  pro  te 

curabo. 
lam  diu  ego  huic  bene  et  hie  mihi  volumus,  et  amieitia 

est  antiqua : 
mittam  hodie  huic  suo  die  nataU  malam  rem  magnam 
et  maturam. 
Cal.        Quid  opust  ? 

Ps.  Potin  aliam  rem  ut  cures  ? 

Cal,  At— 

Ps.  Bat. 

Cal.  Crucior. 

Ps.  Cor  dura. 

Cal.        Non  possum. 
Ps.  Fac  possis. 

Cal.  Quonam  pacto  possim? 

Ps.  Vince  animum. 

in  rem  quod  sit  praevortaris   quam  in  re  advorsa 
animo  auscultes. 
Cal.        Nugae  istaec  sunt :  non  iucundumst  nisi  amans  facit 

stulte. 
Ps.  Pergin } 


fji 


PSEUDOLUS 

you :  unless  your  whole  keep's  brought  to  me  here 
to-day  from  your  friends'  estates,  then  to-morrow 
you'll  have  a  hide  that's  Phoenician  purple, 
Phoeniciimi,  and  pay  a  visit  to  the  brothel  shed. 
(dismisses  them  and  stands  at  the  door  surveying  opera- 
tions Tvithin) 

Scene  3. 

Cal.        (aside  to  Pseudolus,  in  great  distress)  Oh,  Pseudolus, 

you  hear  what  he  says,  don't  you  ? 
Ps.         (meditative)  Yes  indeed,  I  hear  it,  sir,  and  I'm  giving 

it  good  attention. 
Cal.        What  do  you  advise  me  to  send  him,  so  that  he  won't 

prostitute  my  sweetheart  ? 
Ps.         Don't  bother,  sir,  keep  cahn:     I'll  do  the  bother- 
ing for  us  both,    (grimly)     He  and  I  have  been 

exchanging  good  wishes  this  long  time,  and  ours 

is    an   old-time   friendship.     So   to-day   being   his 

birthday,  I'll  send  him  some  big  and  full-blown 

agonies. 

(hopeless  again)  What's  the  use  ? 

(impatient)  Bother  about  something  else,  can't  you  ? 

But,  but 

Tut,  tut ! 

I'm  suffering  so! 

Steel  your  heart. 

Impossible ! 

Make  it  possible. 

But  how  is  that  possible  ? 

Control  your  feelings.     Concentrate  on  something 

helpful  instead  of  letting  your  feeUngs  conquer  you 

in  a  crisis. 

(plaintively)  That's   all   nonsense!       Why,   there's 

no  fun  in  being  a  lover  if  you  can't  be  foolish ! 

(disgusted)  Still  at  it,  eh  ? 


TITUS    MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Cal.        O  Pseudole  mi,  sine  sim  nihili, 

mitte  me  sis. 
Ps.  Sino,  modo  ego  abeam. 

Cal.         Mane,  mane,  iam  ut  voles  med  esse  ita  ero. 
Ps.  Nunc  tu  sapis.  240 

Bal.        It  dies  ;  ego  mihi  cesso. 

i  prae,  puere. 
Cal.  Heus,  abit.     quin  revocas  ? 

Ps.  Quid  properas  ?     placide. 

Cal.  At  prius  quam  abeat. 

Bal.        Quid^  malum,  tam  placide  is,  puere? 
Ps.  Hodie  nate,  heus,  hodie   nate,  tibi  ego  dico,  heus, 

hodie  nate, 

redi  et  respice  ad  nos.     tametsi  occupatu's, 

moramur.     mane,  em  conloqui  qui  volunt  te. 
Bal.        Quid  hoc  est  ?     quis  est  qui  moram  mi  occupato 

molestam  optulit  ? 
Ps.  Qui  tibi  sospitalis 

fuit. 
Bal.  Mortuost  qui  fuit :   qui  sit  usust. 

Ps.  Nimis  superbe. 

Bal.  Nimis  molestus. 

Cal.  Reprehende  hominem,  adsequere. 

Bal.  I  puere. 

Ps.  Occedamus  hac  obviam. 

Bal.  luppiter  te  250 

perdat,  quisquis  es. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  hoe 
174 


PSEUDOLUS 

Oh,  Pseudolus  dear,  do  let  me  be  a  good-for- 
nothing,  do  please  let  me  go ! 

{icily,  moving  away)  I'll  let  you,  only  I  must  be  off 
myself. 

{seizing  Mm)  Wait,  wait,  I'll  be  just  what  you  want 
me  to  be  at  once. 
Now  you  show  sense. 

{after  a  last  growl  at  those  within)  Time's  flying,  and 
here  am  I  loitering.  Go  before  me,  boy.  {they 
move  off) 

{aside,  ntidging  Pseudolus)  Hej I  He's  going!  Why 
don't  you  call  him  back  ? 

{aside,  to  Calidorus)  What's  your  hurry?  Go  slow. 
But  before  he  goes  away ! 

{giving  the  boy  a  shove)  WTiat  the  devil  makes  you 
such  a  slow-coach,  boy? 

{stepping  out  and  shouting  to  Ballio)  Birthday  baby ! 
hey,  birthday  baby  !  {Ballio  clearly  recognizes  the 
voice,  but  goes  on)  Hey,  it's  you  I'm  talking  to, 
birthday  baby!  Come  back  here,  look  back  here 
like  a  friend !  You  may  be  busy,  but  we  want  you. 
Wait !  Hi !  Some  people  want  a  word  with  you ! 
{stopping,  but  not  looking)  What's  all  this?  Who 
has  dared  pester  me  with  this  delay  when  I'm  busy  ? 
A  past  benefactor  of  yours. 

{not  looking)  A  past  one's  a  dead  one:    a  present 
one's  needed. 
You're  mighty  arrogant. 
{moving  on)  You're  mighty  pestiferous. 
Grab  him !     Get  after  him ! 
On,  boy ! 

Let's  go  this  way  and  head  him  off!  {they  run  out  in 
front  of  Ballio) 

{still  refusing  to  look)  Whoever  you  are,  I  hope  to 
see  you  damned! 

"75 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Te  volo. 

Bal.  At  vos  ego  ambos. 

vorte  hac  te,  puere. 
Ps.  Non  licet  conloqui  te? 

Bal.        At  mihi  non  lubet. 

Ps.  Sin  tuamst  quippiam  in  rem  ? 

Bal.        Licetne,  opsecro,  bitere  an  non  licet  ? 
Ps.  Vah, 

manta. 
Bal.  Omitte. 

Col.  Ballio,  audi. 

Bal.  Surdus  sum  ^  profecto  inanilogistae. 

Cal.        Dedi  dum  fuit. 

Bal.  Non  peto  quod  dedisti. 

Cal.        Dabo  quando  erit. 

Bal.  Ducito  quando  habebis. 

Cal.        Eheu,  quam  ego  malis  perdidi  modis  ^ 

quod  tibi  detuli  et  quod  dedi.  1 

Bal.  Mortua  * 

verba  re  nunc  facis ;  stultus  es,  rem  actam  agis.  260 

Ps.  Nosce  saltem  hunc  quis  est. 

Bal.  lam  diu  scio 

qui  fuit:     nunc  qui  sit  ipsus  sciat. 

ambula  tu. 
Ps.  Potin  ut  semel  modo, 

Ballio,  hue  cum  lucro  respicias  ? 
Bal.        Respiciam  istoc  pretio ;    nam  si  sacruficem  summo 
lovi 

atque  in  manibus  exta  teneam,  ut  poriciam,  interea 
loci 

si  lucri  quid  detur,  potius  rem  divinam  deseram. 

non  potest  pietati  opsisti  huic,  utut  res  sunt  ceterae. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   inanilogista  es  Ital. 
176 


PSEUDOLUS 

I  want  to  see  (innocently  emphatic)  you. 
(talcing  offence)  But  I  want  to  see  you  both !  (start- 
ing off  in  the  opposite  direction)  Turn  round,  boy,  this 
way! 

(seizing  him)  Isn't  a  word  with  you  allowable  ? 
But  not  agreeable. 
If  it's  something  to  your  advantage  ? 
(trying  to  release  himself)  Is  it  allowable  or  unallow- 
able to  go  my  way,  damn  it  ? 
(clinging  hard)  There,  there!    Don't  leave! 
Let  go! 
Ballio,  hsten ! 

I'm  deaf — that  is,  to  a  gabblespender. 
(hurt)  I  gave  while  I  could. 
I'm  not  after  what  you  gave. 
And  I'll  give  when  I  can. 

Then  take  (nith  a  rvave  toward  his  house)  when  you 
get. 

Dear,  dear !  The  awful  way  I  wasted  all  I  brought 
you,  all  I  gave  you. 

(eyes  still  averted)  Your  assets  being  dead,  you  now 
make  speeches.  Poor  fool,  you're  whipping  a 
dead  horse. 

At  least  look  and  see  who  this  gentleman  is. 
I've  long  known  who  he  has  been:  who  he  is  now 
he  can  know  for  himself,     (escapes  from  Pseudolus' 
grip  and  joins  the  boy)  Step  along,  you! 
Can't  you  give  us  just  one  friendly  look,  Ballio,  (very 
ingratiatingly)  to  your  own  profit? 
(half  aside,  stopping)    1  can,  at  that  price.     Why,  if 
I  was  sacrificing  to  Jove  supreme,  ay,  with  the 
organs  in  my  hands  to  put  on  the  altar,  and  a 
chance  for  profits  suddenly  appeared,  my  offering 
would  be  all  off.     Profit's  a  kind  of  piety  you  can't 
resist,  be  everything  else  as  it  may. 

177 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Deos  quidem,  quos  maxume  aequom  est  metuere, 

eos  minimi  facit. 
Bal.        Compellabo.     salve  multum,  serve  Athenis  pessume.  270 
Ps.  Di  te  deaeque  ament  vel  huius  arbitratu  vel  meo, 

vel,  si  dignu's  alio  pacto,  neque  ament  nee  faciant 
bene. 
Bal.        Quid  agitur,  Calidore  ? 

Cal.  Amatur  atque  egetur  acriter. 

Bal.        Misereat,  si  familiam  alere  possim  misericordia. 
Ps.  Heia,  scimus  nos  quidem  te  qualis  sis  ;  ne  praedices. 

sed  scin  quid  nos  volumus  ? 
Bal.  Pol  ego  propemodum  :  ut  male  sit  mihi. 

Ps.  Et  id  et  hoe  quod  te  revocamus.     quaeso  animum 

advorte. 
Bal.  Audio. 

atque  in  pauca,  ut  occupatus  nunc  sum,  confer  quid 
velis. 
Ps.  Hunc  pudet,  quod  tibi  promisit  quaque  id  promisit 

die, 
quia  tibi  minas  viginti  pro  arnica  etiam  non  dedit.         280 
Bal.        Nimio    id  quod   pudet  facilius    fertur    quam    illud 
quod  piget. 
non  dedisse  istunc  pudet :  me  quia  non  accepi  piget. 
Ps.  At  dabit,  parabit :    aliquot  hos  dies  manta  modo. 

nam  hie  id  metuit,  ne  illam  vendas  ob  simultatem 
suam. 
Bal.        Fuit  occasio,  si  vellet,  iam  pridem  argentum  ut  daret. 
Cal.        Quid,  si  non  habui? 

178 


PSEUDOLUS 

(aside   to    Calidorus)  The    very    gods,    whom    men 

should  most  revere,  are  mocked  by  him. 

(aside)  I'll    speak    to    him.  (to   Pseudolus)  A    very 

good  day  to  you,  you  scurviest  slave  in  Athens ! 

And  you  be  God-blessed  to  the  full  extent  that  he 

(indicating  Calidorus)  or  I  desire — or  in  case  you 

deserve  something  different,  God  bless  and  help 

you  not  one  bit. 

How  goes  it,  Calidorus? 

(nith  a  propitiating  smile)  I'm  in  agony,  in  love,  and 

insolvent. 

(coldly)  Very  pitiful — ^if  I  could  keep  my  household 

running  on  pity. 

There,  there !     We  jolly  well  know  what  you  are : 

no   announcement's   needed.     But   do   you   know 

what  we  want? 

(indifferently)  Yes  indeed,  just  about — ^to  see  me  in 

a  mess. 

That,  and  also  the  thing  we  called  you  back  for. 

Now  please  do  pay  attention. 

I'm  listening.     State  what  you  want,  and  make  it 

short,  for  this  is  my  busy  day. 

He    (indicating    Calidorus)   feels    ashamed   that   he 

hasn't  yet  paid  you  the  eighty  pounds  for  his  girl 

that  he  promised  you  and  on  the  day  he  promised  it. 

(dryly)     It's  a  great  deal  easier  to  stand  feeUng 

ashamed  than  feehng  annoyed.     He  feels  ashamed 

at  not  ha\'ing  paid :    I  feel  annoyed  at  not  being 

paid. 

But  he  will  pay,  hell  raise  it:   wait  for  just  these 

next  few  days.     You  see,  he's  afraid  you'll  sell  her, 

out  of  animosity. 

He  had  a  chance  to  give  me  that  money  long  ago, 

if  he  had  wanted  to. 

What  if  I  didn't  have  it? 

179 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bed.  Si  amabas,  invenires  mutuom, 

ad  danistam  devenires,  adderes  faenusculum, 

surruperes  patri. 
Ps.  Surruperet  hie  patri,  audacissume  ? 

non  periclumst  ne  quid  recte  monstres.  ,, 

Bal.  Non  lenoniumst. 

Cat.        Egon  patri  surrupere  possim  quicquam,  tam  cauto 

seni  ?  290 

atque  adeo,  si  facere  possim,  pietas  prohibet.  i 

Bal.  Audio. 

pietatem  ergo  istam  amplexator  noctu  pro  Phoenicio. 

sed  cum  pietatem  te  amori  video  tuo  praevortere, 

omnes  homines   tibi   patres  sunt?     nullus  est   tibi 
quem  roges 

mutuom  argentum? 
Cal.  Quin  nomen  quoque  iam  interiit  mutuom. 

Ps.         Heus  tu,  postquam  hercle  isti  a  mensa  surgunt  satis 
poti  viri, 

qui  suom  repetunt,  alienum  reddunt  nato  nemini, 

postilla  omnes  cautiores  sunt,  ne  credant  alteri. 
Cal.       Nimis  miser  sum,  nmnmum  nusquam  reperire  argenti 
queo ; 

ita  miser  et  amore  pereo  et  inopia  argentaria.  300  i 

Bal.        Erne  die  caeca  hercle  oUvom,  id  vendito  oculata  die : 

iam  hercle    vel  ducentae  fieri  possunt  praesentes 
minae. 
Cal.        Perii,  annorum  lex  me  perdit  quinavicenaria. 

metuont  credere  omnes. 
Bal.  Eadem  est  mihi  lex :  metuo  credere. 

Ps.         Credere  autem?     eho  an  paenitet  te,  quanto   hie 
fuerit  USUI? 

^  Morris'  interpretation  of  the  puzzling  caeca  .  .  .  oculata 
die. 

*  The  lex  quinavicenaria  is  the  lex  Plaetoria  which 
protected  minores,  those  under  twenty-five  years  of  age. 

i8o 


PSEUDOLUS 

{scornfully)  Really   in   love,   you'd    have   found  a 

friendly  loan,  made  off  to  a  moneylender,  added  the 

itemette  of  interest,  rooked  your  father. 

(muck  shocked)  He  rook  his  father,  you  wicked, 

wicked  man  ?     No  danger  of  your  giving  any  good 

counsel ! 

No  pimp  does. 

Could  I  rook  my  father  of  anything,  when  he's  such 

a  canny  old  soul?    And  besides,  even  if  I  could, 

filial  affection  forbids, 

I  understand.    Then  at  night  just  hug  that  filial 

affection,  instead  of  Phoenicium.     But  seeing  as  I 

do  that   your   love   comes   second   to   your  filial 

affection,   may    I    inquire    if    everyone    is    your 

father  ?     Is  there  no  one  you  can  ask  for  a  friendly 

loan  ? 

Why,  nowadays  the  very  phrase  "  friendly  loan  " 

is  obsolete. 

(to  Ballio)  Lord,  man !     After  those  banker  chaps 

got  all  full  up  and  left  their  places — the  ones  that 

called  in  their  own  money  and  let  no  h\-ing  soul  have 

his — after  that,  by  gad,  everyone's  more  cautious 

about  trusting  anyone. 

Oh,  it's  terrible,  terrible !     Not  a  penny  can  I  turn 

up  anywhere.    Such  a  terrible  state,  to  be  dying  of 

two  things — love  and  lack  of  funds ! 

Well,  buy  oil  on  credit  and  sell  it  for  cash.*    Why, 

you  can  clear  up  a  cool  eight  hundred  pounds  in  no 

time,  ready  money. 

But,  oh  dear  me,  I'm  done  for  by  that  law  regarding 

minors !  ^     Everyone's  afraid  of  giving  credit. 

The  same  law  binds  me :    I  am  afraid  of  giving 

credit. 

Credit?     Indeed?     My  word,  aren't  you  satisfied 

with  all  the  use  you've  made  of  him  ? 

x8i 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Bal.        Non  est   usu  quisquam  amator   nisi   qui  perpetual 
data ; 

det,  det  usque :  quando  nil  sit,  simul  amare  desinat. 
Cal.        Nilne  te  miseret? 
Bal.  Inanis  cedis,  dicta  non  sonant. 

atque  ego  te  vivom  salvomque  vellem, 
Ps.  Eho  an  iam  mortuost? 

Bal.        Vtut  est,  mihi  quidem  profecto  cum  istis  dictis  mor- 
tuost :  310 

ilico  vixit  amator,  ubi  lenoni  supplicat. 

semper  tu  ad  me  cum  argentata  accedito  querimonia ; 

nam  istuc  quod  nunc  lamentare,  non  esse  argentum 
tibi, 

apud  novercam  querere. 
Ps.  Eho  an  umquam  tu  huius  nupsisti  patri  ? 

Bal.        Di  melius  faciant. 
Ps.  Face  hoc  quod  te  rogamus,  Ballio, 

mea  fide,  si  isti  formidas  credere,     ego  in  hoc  triduo 

aut  terra  aut  mari  alicunde  evolvam  id  argentum  tibi. 
Bal.        Tibi  ego  credam? 
Ps.  Quor  non  ? 

Bal.  Quia  pol  qua  opera  credam  tibi, 

una  opera  alligem  fugitivam  canem  agninis  lactibus. 
Cal.        Sicine  mi  abs  te  bene  merenti  male  refertur  gratia .''    320 
Bal.        Quid  nunc  vis  ? 
Cal.  Vt  opperiare  hos  sex  dies  aliquos  modo, 

ne  illam  vendas  neu  me  perdas  hominem  amantem. 
Bal.  Animo  bono  es. 

vel  sex  menses  opperibor. 
Cal.  Euge,  homo  lepidissimie. 

182 


PSEUDOLUS 

No  lover's  useful,  except  the  kind  that's  a  perpetual 
endowTuent.  He  should  give,  and  keep  on  giving : 
when  everything's  gone,  he  should  give  up  loving. 
Have  you  no  mercy  ? 

There's  nothing  in  you  ;  words  don't  chink.  And 
yet  I  wish  you  were  alive  and  well. 
I  say !  He  isn't  dead  already  ? 
Whatever  he  is,  I  certainly  pronounce  him  dead, 
talking  like  that:  life's  over  for  a  lover,  once  he 
comes  to  a  pimp  with  appeals,  (to  Calidorus  nith  a 
frosty  smile)  Always  trot  up  to  me  with  any  com- 
plaint that's  silver-plated.  As  for  your  present 
wail  that  you  have  no  money,  you're  complaining 
to  a  stepmother. 

I  say  !     Were  you  ever  his  father's  wife  ? 
God  forbid! 

(urgently)  Do  what  we  ask  you,  Ballio.     If  you're 
timorous  about  trusting  him,  rely  on  me.     Within 
the  next  three  days,  from  land  or  sea  or  somewhere, 
I'll  educe  this  money  for  you. 
I  trust  you  ? 
Why  not  ? 

Lord !     Because  I'd  as  soon  trust  you  as  tie  up  a 
runaway  dog  with  a  string  of  lambs'  intestines. 
(very  woeful)  You  mean  to  return  me  evil  for  good 
this  way  ? 

(refecting,  then  genially)  What  do  you  want 
now? 

(eagerly)  For  you  to  wait  just  the  next  six  days  or 
so,  and  not  sell  her  and  be  the  death  of  me  that  love 
her. 

(patting    his    shoulder)  Cheer    up !     I'll    wait    six 
months,  even.     (Pseudolus  is  momentarily  surprised) 
(ecstatically    hugging    Ballio)  Oh,    glorious !     You 
dear,  dehghtful  man! 

183 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.        Immo  vin  etiam  te  faciam  ex  laeto  laetantem  magis  ? 

Cal.        Quid  iam? 

Bal.  Quia  enim  non  venalem  iam  habeo  Phoenicium. 

Cal.        Non  habes  ? 

Bal.  Non  hercle  vero. 

Cal.  Pseudole,  ei  accerse  hostias, 

victumas,  lanios,  ut  ego  huic  sacruficem  summo  lovi ; 

nam  hie  milii  nunc  est  multo  potior  luppiter  quam 
luppiter. 
Bal.        Nolo  victumas  :  agninis  me  extis  placari  volo. 
Cal.         Propera,  quid  stas  ?     ei  accerse  agnos.     audin  quid 

ait  luppiter  ?  330 

Ps.  Iam  hie  ero ;  verum  extra  portam  mi  etiam  curren- 

dumst  prius. 
Cal.        Quid  eo  ? 
Ps.  Lanios  inde  accersam  duo  cum  tintinnabuHs, 

eadem  duo  greges  virgarum  inde  ulmearum  adegero, 

ut  hodie  ad  Utationem  huic  suppetat  satias  lovi. 
Bal.        I  in  malam  crucem. 

Ps.  Istuc  ibit  luppiter  lenonius.^ 

Bal.        Ex  tua  re  non  est,  ut  ego  emoriar. 
Ps.  Quidum  ? 

Bal.  Sic,  quia 

si  ego  emortuos  sim,  Athenis  te  sit  nemo  nequior. 
Cal.        Die  mihi,  obsecro  hercle,  verum  serio  hoc  quod  te 

rogo.  340 

non  habes  venalem  amicam  tu  meam  Phoenicium  ? 

'  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  336-337  : 
Bal.  Ex  tua  re  est,  ut  ego  emoriar. 

Ps.  Quidum? 

Bal.  Ego  dicam  tihi  : 

quia  edepol,  dum  ego  vivos  vivam,  numquam  eris  frugi  bonae. 

1  Executioners  lived  outside  the  Esquiline  Gate. 

2  Vv.  336-337  : 
Bal.          It'll  do  you  good  to  have  me  dead. 

184 


PSEUDOLUS 

{warming  up   surprisingly)  That's   nothing.     Want 
me  to  make  your  joy  more  joyous  still  ? 
{all  agog)  How  can  that  be  ? 

Well,  because  I  haven't  got  Phoenicium  for  sale 
now.     {Pseudolus  glowers) 
You  haven't? 
I  haven't,  by  gad,  really. 

{wild  with  joy)     Go,  Pseudolus !     Fetch  offerings, 
victims,  and  them  that  slay  them,  that  I  may  do 
sacrifice  to  this  Jove  Supreme !     Ah,  yes,  a  much 
mightier  Jove  to  me  is  he  now  than  Jove  himself! 
{modestly)  No  victims,  pray.     Some  lambs'  inwards 
will  suffice  for  propitiating  me. 
{to  Pseudolus)  Speed !     Why  stand  you  still  ?     Go, 
fetch  lambs !     Hear  you  not  the  words  of  Jove  ? 
I'll  be  back  soon ;  but  I've  got  to  go  out  beyond  the 
city  gate  on  the  run,  first. 
Why  there? 

{glaririg  at  Ballio)  It's  from  there  I'll  fetch  "  them 
that  slay,"  ^  two  of  'em,  clanking  along,  and  at  the 
same  time  I'll  drive  up  two  flocks  of  elm  rods,  so 
that  there'll  be  plenty  coming  to  this  Jove  to-day 
to  make  his  sacrifice  successful. 
You  be  hanged ! 

Precisely  the  fate  of  your  pimpship  Jove  ^ ! 
It'll  do  you  harm  to  have  me  dead. 
Pray  how  ? 

This  is  how — once  I  was  dead,  there 'd  be  no  one 
in  Athens  more  utterly  useless  than  you. 
{bewildered)  For  God's  sake,  answer  me  this  ques- 
tion— but  in  sober  earnest!     You  haven't  got  my 
girl  Phoenicium  for  sale  ? 

Pray  how  ? 

I'll  tell  you  :  because  so  long  as  I'm  alive  and  live,  by  gad, 

you'll  never  amount  to  anything. 

i8S 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.        Non  edepol  habeo  profecto,  nam  iam  pridem  vendidi. 

Cal.         Quo  modo  ? 

Bal.  Sine  ornamentis,  cum  intestinis  omnibus. 

Cal.         Meam  tu  amicam  vendidisti  ? 

Bal.  Valde,  viginti  minis. 

Cal.        Viginti  minis  ? 

Bal.  Vtrum  vis,  vel  quater  quinis  minis, 

militi  Macedonio,  et  iam  quindecim  habeo  minas. 
Cal.        Quid  ego  ex  te  audio  ? 

Bal.  Amicam  tuam  esse  factam  argenteam. 

Cal.        Cur  id  ausu's  facere  ? 
Bal.  Libuit,  mea  fuit. 

Cal.  Eho,  Pseudole, 

ei,  gladium  adfer. 
Ps.  Quid  opus  gladio  ? 

Cal.  Qui  hunc  occidam  atque  me. 

Ps.  Quin  tu  ted  occidis  potius  ?     nam  hunc  fames  iam 

Occident.  350 

Cal.        Quid  ais,  quantum  terram^  tetigit  hominum  periuris- 
sume  ? 

iuravistin  te  illam  nuUi  venditurum  nisi  mihi  ? 
Bal.        Fateor. 

Cal.  Nempe  conceptis  verbis  ? 

Bal.  Etiam  consutis  quoque. 

Cal.         Periuravisti,  sceleste. 
Bal.  At  argentum  intro  condidi. 

ego  scelestus  nunc  argentum  promere  possum  domo  : 

tu  qui  pius,  istoc  es  genere  gnatus,  nummum  non 
habes. 
Cal.        Pseudole,    adsiste   altrim   secus   atque   onera   hunc 

maledictis. 
Ps.  Licet. 

numquam  ad  praetorem  aeque  cursim  curram,  ut 
emittar  manu. 

^  ierram  tetigit  Geppert :   terra  tegit  corrupt  (Leo). 
i86 


PSEUDOLUS 

(with  his  old  disdain)  Lord,  no!    I  certainly  have  not, 

inasmuch  as  I  sold  her  long  ago. 

(dazed)     Eh  ?     How  ? 

Without  a  wardrobe,  but  intestinally  complete. 

(exchanging  glances  rvith  Pseudolus,  then  tragically) 

You  have  sold  my  girl  ? 

Exactly.     For  eighty  pounds. 

For  eighty  pounds  ? 

Or  for  four  times  twenty  pounds — take  your  pick 

— to  a  Macedonian  soldier,  and  sixty  pounds  are 

already  paid  me. 

What  do  I  hear  you  say  ? 

That  your  girl  has  been  turned  into  silver. 

What  made  you  dare  do  that  ? 

My  fancy.     She  was  mine. 

(mldly)     Ha !     Go,  Pseudolus !     Bring  a  sword ! 

A  sword  ?    WTiy  that  ? 

That  I  may  end  his  days,  and  mine ! 

Why  not  just  end  your  own  ?     For  his  will  soon  be 

ended  by  starvation. 

(to  Ballio)  Answer   me,   most   perjured   soul   that 

e'er  set  foot  on  earth !     Did  you  not  swear  to  sell 

her  to  none  but  me  ? 

(carelessly)  Admitted. 

Aye,  and  in  formal  fitting  terms? 

Yes,  and  ones  that  showed  trim  tailoring. 

You  have  perjured  yourself,  scoundrel! 

But  I  have  stored  up  cash  at  home.    I,  the  scoundrel 

pimp,  can  now  draw  cash  from  my  own  coffers  :  you, 

the  filial  paragon,  for  all  your  family,  haven't  got  a 

penny. 

Pseudolus,  stand  on  the  other  side  of  him  and  load 

him  up  with  ugly  names. 

(closing  in  on  Ballio  with  alacrity)  Right  you  are.     I'd 

never  hurry  so,  hurrying  to  the  praetor  to  be  set  free. 

187 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Cal 

Ingere  mala  multa. 

Ps. 

lam  ego  te  difFeram  dictis  meis. 

impudice. 

Bal. 

Itast. 

Cal. 

Sceleste. 

Bal. 

Dicis  vera. 

Ps. 

Verbero.  360 

Bal. 

Quippini  ? 

Cal. 

Bustirape. 

Bal. 

Certo. 

Ps. 

Furcifer. 

Bal. 

Ti'actum  optume. 

Cal. 

Sociofraude. 

Bal. 

Sunt  mea  istaec. 

Ps. 

Parricida. 

Bal. 

Pcrge  tu. 

Cal. 

Sacrilege. 

Bal. 

Fateor. 

Ps. 

Periure. 

Bal. 

Vetera  vaticinamini. 

Cal. 

Legirupa. 

Bal. 

Valide. 

Ps, 

Permities  adulescentum. 

Bal. 

Acerrume. 

Cal. 

Fur. 

Bal. 

Babae. 

Ps. 

Fugitive. 

Bal. 

Bombax. 

Cal. 

Fraus  populi. 

Bal. 

Planissume. 

Ps. 

Fraudulente. 

Cal. 

Impure. 

Ps. 

Leno. 

Cal. 

Caenum. 

Bal 

Cantores  probos. 

S83 

PSEUDOLUS 

Let  him  have  a  lot  of  bad  ones. 

(to  Ballio)  Here's  where  you  get  talked  to  tatters! 

You  shameless  thing  I 

(unperturbed^)  Just  so. 

Scoundrel ! 

Quite  true. 

Whipping-post ! 

Of  course. 

Tomb-robber ! 

To  be  sure. 

Gallows-bird ! 

Very  good. 

Friend-swindler  ! 

It  all  fits. 

Parricide ! 

(to  Calidorus)  Do  proceed,  you. 

Sacrilegious  knave ! 

Admitted. 

Perjurer! 

The  same  old  songs. 

Law-breaker ! 

Powerfully  put. 

Blight  of  the  youth ! 

Very  biting. 

Thief! 

La!  La! 

Runaway ! 

La-de-da ! 

Public  imposition ! 

Plain  as  can  be. 

Impostor ! 

Filth ! 

Pimp! 

Slime ! 

Sweet  choristers. 

i«9 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Cal.        Verberavisti  patrem  atque  matrem. 
Bal.  Atque  occidi  quoque, 

potius    quam    cibum    praehiberem :     num    peccavi 
quippiam  ? 
Ps.  In  pertusum  ingerimus  dicta  dolium,  operam  ludimus. 

Bal.        Numquid  aliud  etiam  voltis  dicere  ? 
Cal.  Ecquid  te  pudet  ?  370 

Bal.        Ten,  amatorem  esse  inventum  inanem  quasi  cassam 
nucem  ? 
verum  quamquam  multa  malaque  dicta  dixistis  mihi, 
nisi  mihi  hodie  attulerit  miles  quinque  quas  debet 

minas. 
sicut  haec  est  praestituta  summa  ei  argento  dies, 
si  id  non  adfert,  posse  opinor  facere  me  offieium 
meum. 
Cal.        Quid  id  est  ? 

Bal.  Si  tu  argentum  attuleris,  cum  illo  perdidero  fidem : 

hoc  meum  est   offieium.     ego,   operae   si  sit,  plus 

tecum  loquar ; 
sed  sine  argento    frustra  es    qui  me  tui    misereri 

postulas. 
haec  meast  sententia,  ut  tu  hinc  porro  quid  agas 
consulas. 
Cal.         lamne  abis  ? 

Bal.  Negoti  nunc  sum  plenus. 

Ps.  Paulo  post  magis.  380 

illic  homo  meus  est,  nisi  omnes  di  me  atque  homines 

deserunt. 
exossabo  ego  ilium  simulter    itidem  ut    murenam 

coquos. 
nunc,  Calidore,  te  mihi  operam  dare  volo. 
Cat.  Ecquid  imperas  ? 

Ps.  Hoc  ego  oppidum  admoenire,  ut  hodie  capiatur,  volo  ; 

ad  eam  rem  usust  homine  astuto,  docto,  cauto  at 
callido, 

190 


PSEUDOLUS 

You  beat  your  father  and  mother ! 

Yes,  killed  'em  too,  rather  than  keep  feeding  'em. 

You  don't  feel  I  was  at  fault  ? 

(to    Calidorus,    disgustedly)  We're    pouring    words 

into  a  broken  pot :  our  effort's  wasted, 

(politely)  No  additional  remarks  you  two  wish  to 

make? 

Are  you  ashamed  of  nothing  ? 

Or  you  of  being  showTi  up  as  a  gallant  that  has  got 

nothing,  an  empty  nut  ?     But  even  though  you  two 

have  treated  me  to  all  this  abuse,  unless  the  soldier 

brings  me  the  twenty  pounds  he  owes  to-day — this 

day  being  the  time  limit  set  for  payment — if  he 

doesn't   bring  it,  I   fancy   I   am  able   to  do  my 

duty. 

WTiat  is  that  ? 

Bring  me  the  money  yourself,  and  I  shall  break  my 

agreement  >vith  him:   this  is  my  duty,  (turning  to 

go)     If  I  had  time,  I  should  prolong  this  interview. 

But  without  money  you  are  absurd  to  be  looking  to 

me  for  pity.     These  are  my  sentiments,  so  you  can 

proceed  to  shape  your  course  accordingly. 

You're  going  already  ? 

I  have  much  on  my  hands  at  present. 

[exeunt  Ballio  and  boy. 
(viciously,  as  they  disappear)  And  more  a  little  later ! 
(to  Calidorus,  rvith  apparent  confidence)  I've  got 
that  chap,  unless  all  gods  and  men  desert  me. 
I'll  bone  him,  bone  him  the  sameviise  as  a  cook 
does  a  lamprey,  (assuming  complete  authority)  Now, 
Calidorus,  I  want  your  assistance. 
(rvith  mock  deference)  And  your  orders,  sir  ? 
I  want  to  laysiege  this  town  (nodding  in  the  direc- 
tion Ballio  tvent)  and  capture  it  to-day.  For  this 
operation  I  need  a  man,  a  clever,  knowing  man, 

191 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

qui  imperata  ecfecta  reddat,non  qui  vigilans  dormiat. 
Cal.         Cedo  mihi,  quid  es  facturus  ? 
jP*.  Temperi  ego  faxo  scies. 

nolo  bis  iterari,  sat  sic  longae  fiunt  fabulae. 
Cal.         Optumum  atque  aequissimum  oras. 
Ps.  Propera,adduchominemcito. 

Cal.         Fauci  ex  multis  sunt  amici,  homini  qui  certi  sient.     390 
Ps.  Ego  scio  istuc.     ergo  utrumque,  tibi  nunc  dilectum 

para 

ex  multis  atque  exquire  illinc  unum  qui  certus  siet. 
Cal.         lam  hie  faxo  aderit. 
Ps.  Potin  ut  abeas  ?    tibi  moram  dictis  creas. 


I.  4. 


postquam  illic  hinc  abiit,  tu  astas  solus,  Pseudole. 

quid  nunc  acturu's,  postquam  erili  filio 

largitu's  dictis  dapsilis  ?     ubi  sunt  ea? 

quoi  neque  paratast  gutta  certi  consili,^ 

neque  exordiri  primum  unde  occipias  habes, 

neque  ad  detexundam  telam  certos  terminos.  400 

sed  quasi  poeta,  tabulas  cum  cepit  sibi, 

quaerit  quod  nusquamst  gentium,  reperit  tamen, 

facit  illud  veri  simile,  quod  mendacium  est, 

nunc  ego  poeta  fiam  :   viginti  minas, 

quae  nusquam  nunc  sunt  gentium,  inveniam  tamen.^ 

sed  comprimundast  vox  mihi  atque  oratio  : 

erum  eccum  video  hue  Simonem  una  simul  410 

cum  suo  vicino  Calliphone  incedere. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  398  : 
neque  adeo  argenti — neque  nunc  quid  faciam  scio. 

2  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  406-408  : 
atque  ego  me  iam  pridem  huic  daturum  dixeram 
et  volui  inicere  tragulam  in  nostrum  senem; 
verum  is  nescio  quo  pacto  praesensit  prius. 

192 


PSEUDOLUS 

sharp  and  sly,  that  carries  orders  through  to  com- 
pletion and  doesn't  go  to  sleep  on  duty. 

I.        Tell  me,  what  are  you  going  to  do  ? 

I  shall  let  you  know  in  due  season.  I  object  to 
repetitions  ;  plays  are  long  enough  as  it  is. 

I.        A  perfectly  sound  and  proper  observation. 
Hurry,  get  your  man  here  quickly. 

I.        (hesitating)  Few  friends  out  of  many  can  really  be 
counted  on. 

I  know  that.  So  you  have  a  double  job — make  a 
selected  list  from  the  many,  and  then  pick  out  one 
man  that  can  be  counted  on. 

{.        (going,  slowly)  I'll  have  him  here  soon. 

Can't  you  be  gone .''    Your  talk  only  delays  you. 

[txiT  Calidorus. 
Scene  4. 

Well,  he's  gone,  so  here  you  stand  alone,  Pseudolus. 
Now  what'U  you  do,  after  having  regaled  the  young 
master  so  royally  with  your  talk?  Where  is  that 
regalement  ?  Here  you  are  without  a  drop  of 
definite  counsel,^  or  any  notion  where  first  to  begin 
setting  up  your  web,  or  exactly  where  to  end  vour 
weaving.  But  the  same  as  a  poet,  once  his  tablets 
are  in  hand,  hunts  for  what  is  nowhere  on  this  earth, 
yet  finds  it,  and  makes  a  lie  look  like  the  truth,  I'll 
turn  poet  myself  now.  That  eighty  pounds  is  no- 
where on  this  earth  now,  yet  I'll  discover  it.*  (looking 
donm  the  street)  But  I  must  get  my  voice  and  oratory 
imder  control !  There's  my  master  Simo  ambling 
up  here  along  with  his  neighbour,  CaUipho.     He's 

^  V.  398 :  No  cash,  of  course — and  no  idea  what  to  do 
now. 

*  Vv.  406-^8  :  Yes,  and  I  had  said  I'd  give  it  to  him 
long  ago  and  wanted  to  open  fire  on  our  old  man.  But 
somehow  or  other  he  smelled  it  out  beforehand. 

193 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ex  hoc  sepulcro  vetere  viginti  minas 

effodiam  ego  hodie,  quas  dem  erili  filio. 

nunc  hue  concedam,  unde  horum  sermonem  legam. 

1.5. 

Si.  Si  de  damnosis  aut  si  de  amatoribus 

dictator  fiat  nunc  Athenis  Atticis, 

nemo  anteveniat  filio,  credo,  meo  : 

ita  nunc  per  urbem  solus  sermoni  omnibust, 

eum  velle  amicam  liberare  et  quaerere 

argentum  ad  earn  rem.     hoc  alii  mihi  renuntiant ;       420 

atque  id  lam  pridem  sensi  et  subolebat  mihi, 

sed  dissimulabam. 
Ps.  lam  illi  fetet  filius. 

occisa  est  haec  res,  haeret  hoc  negotium. 

quo  in  commeatum  volui  argentarium 

proficisci,  ibi  nunc  oppido  opsaeptast  via. 

praesensit  :  nihil  est  praedae  praedatoribus. 
Call.       Homines  qui  gestant  quique  auscultant  crimina, 

si  meo  arbitratu  liceat,  omnes  pendeant, 

gestores  linguis,  auditores  auribus. 

nam  istaec  quae  tibi  renuntiantur,  filium  430 

te  velle  amantem  argento  circumducere, 

fors  fuat  an  istaec  dicta  sint  mendacia ; 

sed  si  sint  ea  vera,  ut  nunc  mos  est,  maxume, 

quid  mirum  fecit  ?     quid  novom,  adulescens  homo 

si  amat,  si  amicam  liberat  ? 
Pt.  Lepidum  senem. 

Si.  Vetus  nolo  faciat. 

Call.  At  enim  nequiquam  nevis ; 

vel  tu  ne  faceres  tale  in  adulescentia. 

194 


PSEUDOLUS 

the  old  tomb  111  dig  eighty  pounds  out  of  to-day  to 
give  the  young  master.  I'll  just  drop  back  here 
now  and  pick  up  their  conversation,  {nithdratvs  into 
the  alley) 

5.  ENTER  Simo  AND  CalUpho. 

(choleric)  If  they  combed  the  ranks  of  the  spend- 
thrifts and  the  rakes  for  a  dictator  now  in  Attic 
Athens,  I  do  beheve  no  candidate  would  come 
before  my  son !  Why,  it's  the  one  thing  the  whole 
city's  talking  about — how  he  wants  to  set  his  mis- 
tress free  and  is  trying  to  find  the  money  for  it.  I 
got  this  report  from  others ;  and  yet  it's  something 
I  long  ago  surmised  myself  and  got  scent  of,  with- 
out letting  on,  though. 

(aside)  H'm !  Son  smells  rank  to  him  already. 
That's  a  death-blow  to  this  plan,  this  scheme's 
stuck.  Here  I  wanted  to  go  foraging  for  cash,  and 
now  find  the  road  to  the  place  cut  off  completely. 
With  his  premonitions,  there's  nothing  for  pillagei*s 
to  pillage. 

{vigorously)  If  I  could  have  my  way,  tale-bearers 
and  their  hearers   would   all   be   strung   up,   the 
bearers  by  their  tongues,  the  hearers  by  their  ears. 
Now  those  reports  you  get,  about  your  son  having 
an  affair  and  wanting  to  waylay  you  for  money — 
very  Ukely  they're  a  pack  of  Ues.     But  suppose 
they're   true,   has   he   done   anything   surprising, 
especially  when  moral  standards  are  what  they  are 
to-day  ?     If  a  lad's  in  love  and  sets  his  lady  free,  is 
that  a  new  thing  ? 
(aside)  Delightful  old  gentleman ! 
(doggedly)  I  object  to  his  doing  an  old  thing. 
Ah,  but  your  objections  don't  count ;   or  else  you 
shouldn't  have  done  the  same  thing  in  your  own 

195 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

probum  patrem  esse  oportet  qui  gnatum  suom 

esse  probiorem  quam  ipsus  fuerit  postulet. 

nam  tu  quod  damni  et  quod  fecisti  flagiti  440 

populo  viritim  potuit  dispertirier. 

idne  tu  mirare,  si  patrissat  filius  ? 
Ps.  'n  Ztv,  quam  pauci  estis  homines  commodi.     em, 

illic  est  pater  patrem  esse  ut  aequom  est  filio. 
Si.  Quis  hie  loquitur?     meus  est  hie  quidem  servos 

Pseudolus. 

hie  mihi  corrumpit  fihum,  scelerum  caput ; 

hie  dux,  hie  ilU  est  paedagogus,  hune  ego 

cupio  excruciari. 
Call.  lam  istaec  insipientiast, 

iram  in  promptu  gerere.     quanto  satius  est 

adire  blandis  verbis  atque  exquaerere,  450 

sintne  ilia  necne  sint  quae  tibi  renuntiant. 

bonus  animus  in  mala  re  dimidiumst  mali. 
Si.  Tibi  auscultabo. 

Ps.  Itur  ad  te,  Pseudole. 

orationem  tibi  para  advorsum  senem. 

erum  saluto  primum,  ut  aequomst ;   postea, 

si  quid  superfit,  vicinos  impertio. 
Si.  Salve,     quid  agitur  ? 

Ps.  Statur  hie  ad  hune  modum. 

Si.  Statum  vide  hominis,  Callipho,  quam  basilicum. 

Call.       Bene  confidenterque  adstitisse  intellego. 

196 


PSEUDOLUS 

youth.  It  behooves  a  father  to  be  blameless,  if  he 
expects  his  son  to  be  more  blameless  than  he  was 
himself.  As  for  you,  your  extravagances  and 
enormities  were  numerous  enough  to  go  round  the 
city,  one  apiece.  And  you're  surprised  if  he's  his 
father's  son  ? 

(in  an  undertone)  Man  dien  !  How  few  ye  be,  ye 
men  with  the  proper  spirit!  There!  That's  the 
sort  of  father  a  father  should  be  to  a  son.  (steps 
out) 

(looking  about)  Who's  that  speaking?  (aside  to 
Callipho)  Oh,  yes,  it's  that  slave  Pseudolus  of  mine  ! 
He's  the  one  that  corrupts  my  son  for  me,  the  sink 
of  iniquity !  He's  the  leader,  he's  the  lad's  tutor 
in  it,  he's  the  one  I  long  to  rack ! 
(aside  to  Simo,  soothingly)  That's  nonsensical  now, 
to  make  a  display  of  anger.  How  much  better  to 
approach  him  pleasantly  and  inquire  into  the  truth 
or  falsehood  of  those  reports.  "  III  well  met  is 
half-ill  only." 
I'll  take  your  advice. 

(aside,  as  they  come  torvard  htm)  Tliey're  charging 
you.  Pseudolus.  Get  your  speech  ready  for  the  old 
boy.  (aloud,  Jlippantly)  Greetings  to  my  master  first, 
as  is  proper;  then,  if  there  are  any  left,  I  let  the 
neighbours  (nith  a  sweeping  bow  to  Callipho)  have 
some. 

(trying  to  be  gracious)  Ah,  Pseudolus !  And  what 
are  you  doing? 

(very  dignified  and  commanding,  hand  on  hip)  Stand- 
ing here  in  the  attitude  you  note. 
(struggling  with  his  temper)  Look  at  that  attitude, 
Callipho — the  regality  of  it ! 

(placatingly)  Oh,  an  attitude  of  manly  self-con- 
fidence, I  take  it. 

197 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Decet  innocentem  qui  sit  atque  innoxium  460 

servom  superbum  esse,  apud  erum  potissimum. 
Call.       Sunt  quae  te  volumus  percontari,  quae  quasi 

per  nebulam  nosmet  scimus  atque  audivimus. 
Si.  Conficiet  iam  te  hie  verbis,  ut  tu  censeas 

non  Pseudolum,  sed  Socratem  tecum  loqui. 
Ps.  Itast,  iam  pridem  tu  me  spernis,  sentio. 

parvam  esse  apud  te  mihi  fidem  ipse  intellego. 

cupis  me  esse  nequam  :   tamen  ero  frugi  bonae. 
St.  Fac  sis  vocivas,  Pseudole,  aedis  aurium, 

mea  ut  migrare  dicta  possint  quo  volo.  470 

Ps.  Age  loquere  quidvis,  tametsi  tibi  suscenseo. 

Si.  Mihin  domino  servos  tu  suscenses  ? 

Ps.  Tam  tibi 

mirum  id  videtur  ? 
Si.  Hercle  qui,  ut  tu  praedicas, 

cavendum  est  mi  aps  te  irato ;  atque  alio  tu  modo 

me  verberare  atque  ego  te  soleo  cogitas. 

quid  censes  ? 
Call.  Edepol  merito  esse  iratum  arbitror, 

quom  apud  te  parvast  ei  fides. 
Si.  Iam  sic  sino ; 

iratus  sit :   ego,  ne  quid  noceat,  cavero. 

sed  quid  ais  ?     quid  hoc,  quod  te  rogo  ? 
Ps.  Si  quid  vis,  roga. 

quod  scibo,  Delphis  tibi  responsum  dicito.  480 

Si.  Advorte  ergo  animum  et  fac  sis  promissi  memor. 

quid  ais  ?     ecquam  scis  filium  tibicinam. 

meum  amare  ? 


PSEUDOLUS 

It  befits  a  guileless  and  guiltless  slave,  if  so  he  be,  to 
have  a  proud  air,  in  his  master's  presence  especially. 
There  are  some  matters  about  which  we  wish  to 
question  you,  matters  we  know  of  and  heard  of 
ourselves  in  a  cloudy  sort  of  way. 
{to  Callipho,  peevishly)  He'll  soon  talk  you  into 
thinking  you're  ha\'ing  a  dialogue  with  Socrates 
instead  of  Pseudolus. 

{virtuously)  Just  so.  You've  long  had  a  poor  opin- 
ion of  me,  I'm  well  aware.  I  know  you  hold  me  as  a 
man  of  Uttle  honesty.  You  want  me,  want  me,  to 
be  worthless  :  but  I  will  be  good  for  something. 
{iroTiically)  Kindly  empty  your  auricular  apartments, 
Pseudolus,  and  let  my  own  words  find  suitable 
quarters. 

Go  ahead,  say  what  you  Hke,  even  though  I  am 
incensed  at  you. 

You,  a  slave,  incensed  at  me,  your  master  ? 
You  find  that  quite  amazing,  eh  ? 
Gad !  From  what  you  say,  I  must  beware  of  you  in 
your  wrath.     Ah,  yes,  you're  planning  to  give  me  a 
different  sort  of  beating  than  I'm  in  the  habit  of 
giving  you.  {to  Callipho)  What  do  you  think  ? 
{rvith  a  covert  wink  at  Simo)  By  Jove,  it's  my  opinion 
that  wrath  is  justified  when  you  hold  him  as  a  man 
of  little  honesty. 

All  right,  all  right.  Let  him  keep  his  wrath :  I'll 
take  good  care  not  to  suffer  from  it.  {to  Pseudolus) 
But  see  here,  what  of  this  matter  I'm  asking 
about?  {jtauses) 

If  you   want  anything,  ask.     Consider  my  reply 
your  response  from  Delphi,     {poses  as  a  priestess) 
Then  accord  me  your  attention   and  mind    you 
remember  your  promise.     See  here — do  you  know 
of  my  son's  being  in  love  with  a  music-girl  ? 

X99 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

jP*.  Nai  yap. 

Si.  Liberate  quam  velit? 

Ps.  Kat  TouTO  vat  yap. 

Si.  Ecquas  viginti  minas  ^ 

paritas  nt  auferas  a  me  ? 
Ps.  Abs  te  ego  auferam  ? 

Si.  Ita,  quas  meo  gnato  des,  qui  amicam  liberet  ? 

fatere,  die. 
Ps.  Kat  TOVTO  vai,  xat  toDto  vai. 

Call.       Fatetur. 

Si.  Dixin,  Callipho,  dudum  tibi  ? 

Call.       Memini. 
Si.  Quor  haec,  tu  ubi  rescivisti  ilico,  490 

celata  me  sunt  ?     quor  non  rescivi  ? 
Ps.  Eloquar. 

quia  nolebam  ex  me  morem  progigni  malum, 

erum  ut  servos  criminaret  apud  erum. 
5t.  luberes  hunc  praecipitem  in  pistrinum  trahi. 

Call.       Numquid  peccatum  est,  Simo  ? 
Si.  Immo  maxime. 

Ps.  Desiste,  recte  ego  meam  rem  sapio,  Callipho ; 

peccata  mea  sunt,     animum  advorte  nunciam 

quapropter  te  expertem  amoris  nati  habuerim  ^ : 

pistrinum  in  mundo  scibam,  si  dixem,  mihi. 
Si.  Non  a  me  scibas  pistrinvum  in  mundo  tibi,  500 

cum  ea  mussitabas  ? 
Ps.  Scibam. 

Si.  Quin  dictum  est  mihi  ? 

Ps.  Quia  illud  malum  aderat,  istuc  aberat  longius ; 

illud  erat  praesens,  huic  erant  dieculae. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  485  : 
per  sycophantiam  atque  per  doctos  dolos. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo) :  nati  amoris  te  expertem  Bothe. 


200 


PSEUDOLUS 

{oracularly)  C'esi  vrai. 
That  he  wants  to  set  free  ? 
C'est  vrai  aussi. 

And  you  are  making  ready  to  get  eighty  pounds  out 
of  me  ?  ^ 

{at  a  loss)  I,  sir  ?     Out  of  you  ? 
{sternly)  Just  so — to  give  my  son  so  that  he  can  set 
his  mistress  free?  (oj  Pseudolus  hesitates)  Confess, 
speak  up ! 

Vrai  aussi,  vrai  aussi ! 
He  confesses! 

Didn't  I  just  tell  you,  Callipho? 
I  remember. 

The  minute  you  heard  of  all  this,  why  was  it  kept 
from  me  ?     Why  didn't  I  hear  of  it  ? 
{high-mindedly)  This    is    why.     Because    I    wasn't 
willing  to  father  the  foul  practice  of  a  slave's  de- 
nouncing his  master  to  his  master, 
(to  Callipho,  angrily)  You'd  order  him  to  be  dragged 
off  to  the  mill  headlong. 
But,  Simo,  has  anything  wrong  been  done  ? 
No,  everything! 

Don't  bother,  Callipho.  I  have  a  rather  good  head 
for  my  own  business.  Any  >\Tong-doing  is  mine, 
(to  Simo,  coolly)  Come,  accord  me  your  attention, 
and  learn  why  I  left  you  uninformed  of  your  son's 
affair.  I  knew  if  I  told  you,  the  mill  was  waiting 
for  me. 

And  you  didn't  know  I  had  the  mill  waiting  for  you 
when  you  left  things  dark? 
I  did  know. 

Then  why  wasn't  I  told? 

Because  it  was  a  choice  of  evils — immediate  or 
impending,  present  or  a  bit  postponed. 

'  V.  485 :  By  swiudling  and  clever  cheating. 

20I 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Si.  Quid   nunc  agetis  ?     nam   hinc  quidem  a  me  non 

potest 

argentum  auferri,  qui  praesertim  senserim. 

ne  quisquam  credat  nummum,  iam  edicam  omnibus. 
Ps.  Numquam  edepol  quoiquam  supplicabo,  dum  quidem 

tu  vives.     tu  mihi  herele  argentum  dabis, 

abs  te  equidem  sumam. 
Si.  Tu  a  me  sumes  ? 

Ps.  Strenue. 

Si.  Excludito  mi  herele  oculum,  si  dedero. 

Ps.  Dabis.  510 

iam  dico  ut  a  me  caveas. 
Si.  Certe  edepol  scio, 

si  apstuleris,  mirum  et  magnum  facinus  feceris. 
Ps.  Faciam. 

Si.  Si  non  apstuleris  ? 

Ps.  Virgis  caedito. 

sed  quid,  si  apstulero  ? 
Si.  Do  lovem  testem  tibi, 

te  aetatem  impune  habiturum. 
Ps.  Facito  ut  memineris. 

Si.  Egon  ut  cavere  nequeam,  cui  praedicitur  ? 

Ps.  Praedico,  ut  caveas.    dico,  inquam,  ut  caveas.    cave. 

em  istis  mihi  tu  hodie  manibus  argentum  dabis. 
Call.        Edepol  mortalem  graphicum,  si  servat  fidem. 
Ps.  Servitum  tibi  me  abducito,  ni  fecero.  520 

Si.^  Bene  atque  amice  dicis.     nam  nunc  non  meu's.^ 

Ps.  Vin  etiam  dicam  quod  vos  magis  miremini  ? 

^  Call.  (Leo). 

*  nam  nunc  non  men's  Ritschl :    nam  nunc,  nam  mevM 
corrupt  (Leo). 
202 


PSEUDOLUS 

{somewhat  mollified)  What '11  you  two  do  now  ?  For 
no  money's  to  be  got  out  of  me,  that's  sure,  with  my 
eyes  ■wide  open,  especially.  I'll  serve  general 
notice  now  not  to  lend  a  penny. 
(after  a  moment's  cogitation)  I'll  never  go  begging  to 
anyone,  by  gad,  at  least  \vith  you  ahve.  By  Jove, 
you'll  give  me  the  money  yourself;  you're  the  very 
man  I'll  have  it  from. 

(indignant,  but  interested)  You  11  have  it  from  me  ? 
Work  hard! 

You  can  knock  my  eye  out,  by  Jove,  if  I  do  give  it. 
You  will.     I  warn  you  now  to  look  out  for  me. 
(his  interest  rising)  Gad,  if  you  do  get  it,  I'll  cer- 
tainly credit  you  with  an  exploit  marvellous  and 
mighty. 
I  will. 

And  if  you  fail? 

Lay  on  the  lash.     But  what  if  I  succeed  ? 
Then  Jove  be  your  witness,  you  shall  keep  what  you 
get  for  hfe,  scot  free. 
See  you  remember  that. 

Am  I  a  man  unable  to  look  out,  when  I've  been 
forewarned  ? 

(mysteriously)  I  do  forewarn  you — look  out.  I 
warn  you  to  look  out,  I  tell  you.  Look  out !  Look ! 
(Simo  almost  jumps)  With  those  very  hands  you'll 
give  me  the  money  to-day. 

(to  Simo)  Gad !  He's  a  masterpiece  if  he  keeps  his 
word. 

(to  Callipho)  You  can  take  me  for  your  slave  if  I 
don't. 

(sarcastically)  A  nice,  friendly  offer!  You  are  not 
mine  now,  it  seems. 

Want  me  to  add  something  that'll  surprise  you  two 
still  more  ? 

to3 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Call.       Studeo  hercle  audire,  nam  ted  ausculto  lubens.^ 
Ps.  Prius    quam    istam    pugnam    pugnabo,  ego    etiam 

prius 

dabo  aliam  pugnam  claram  et  commemorabilem. 
Si.  Quam  pugnam  ? 

Ps.  Em  ab  hoc  lenone  vieino  tuo 

per  sycophantiam  atque  per  doctos  doles 

tibicinam  illam,  tuos  quam  gnatus  deperit, 

ea  eircumducam  lepide  lenonem. 
Si.  Quid  est  ? 

Ps.  Effectum  hoc  hodie  reddam  utrumque  ad  vesperum.  530 

Si.  Siquidem  istaec  opera,  ut  praedicas,  perfeceris, 

virtute  regi  Agathocli  antecesseris. 

sed  si  non  faxis,  numquid  causaest,  iUco 

quin  te  in  pistrinum  condam  ? 
Ps.  Non  unum  in  diem,^ 

verum  hercle  in  omnis,  quantumst ;  sed  si  effecero, 

dabin  mi  argentum,  quod  dem  lenoni,  ilico, 

tua  voluntate  ? 
Call.  lus  bonum  orat  Pseudolus ; 

dabo  inque. 
Si.  At  enim  scin  quid  mihi  in  mentem  venit  ? 

quid  si  hisce  inter  se  consenserunt,  Callipho, 

aut  de  compecto  faciunt  consutis  dolis,  540 

qui  me  argento  intervertant  ? 
Ps.  Quis  me  audacior 

sit,  si  istuc  facinus  audeam  ?     immo  sic,  Simo  : 

si  sumus  compecti  seu  consilium  umquam  iniimus  ^ 

aut  si  de  ea  re  umquam  inter  nos  convenimus,* 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  523*  : 
Si.  Aijedum,  iiam  satis  libenter  te  ausculto  loqui. 

■^  Leo  brackets  following  modo. 
'  Leo  brackets  following  de  istac  re. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  544«  : 
quasi  in  libro  cum  scribuntur  calamo  litterae. 

204 


PSEUDOLUS 

Gad,  yes,  I'm  keen  to  hear  it ;  why,  I  love  to  listen 
to  you.^ 

Before  that  fight  is  fought,  I'm  first  putting  up 
another  fight  that'll  go  echoing  down  the  ages. 
\Vhat  fight? 

You  watch !    Your  neighbour  here,  the  pimp,  shall 
fall  before  my  stratagems  and  artful  arts,  and  that 
music-girl  your  son  is  dying  for,  I'll  relieve  friend 
pimp  of  her  in  stunning  style. 
What's  all  this  ? 

And  both  these  fights  shall  be  recorded  victories  by 
dusk  to-day. 

Well,  well,  if  you  accomplish  those  feats  as  you 
announce,  you'll  be  a  mightier  man  than  King 
Agathocles.  But  if  you  fail,  you  have  no  objection 
to  being  stowed  in  the  mill  at  once? 
And  not  for  one  day,  by  gad,  but  for  all  the  days 
there  are  !  But  in  case  I  succeed,  will  you  at  once 
give  me  the  money  to  give  the  pimp,  of  your  own 
free  ■will  ? 

{to  Simo)  A  good,  fair  proposition  of  Pseudolus. 
Say  "  I  will." 

Ah,  but  do  you  know  what  occurs  to  me  ?  {eyeijig 
Pseudolus  hard)  What  if  these  rascals  have  got 
together,  or  have  some  patchwork  of  tricks  all  pre- 
arranged to  juggle  the  money  out  of  me  ? 
(glibly)  Now  who'd  be  a  more  daring  man  than  me 
if  I  dared  do  a  thing  like  that  ?  (seeing  Simo  is  unim- 
pressed) No,  I'll  put  it  this  way,  Simo :  (earnestly)  if 
we  have  prearranged  an}'thing  or  ever  entered  into 
any  plan  or  ever  come  together  for  this  purpose,* 

»  V.  523*  :  Si.  Out  with  it.     Why,  I  really  love  to  listen 
to  your  talk. 

*  V.  544« :    Ju3t  as  when  letters  are  written  in  a  book 
with  a  pen. 

20S 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

stilis  me  totum  usque  ulmeis  conscribito. 

Si.  Indice  ludos  nunciam,  quando  lubet. 

Ps.  Da  in  hunc  diem  operam,  Callipho,  quaeso  milii, 

ne  quo  te  ad  aliud  occupes  negotium. 

Call.       Quin  rus  ut  irem  iam  heri  mecum  statueram. 

Ps.  At  nunc  disturba  quas  statuisti  machinas.  550 

Call.        Nunc  non  abire  certum  est  istae  gratia ; 
lubidost  ludos  tuos  spectare,  Pseudole, 
et  si  hunc  videbo  non  dare  argentum  tibi, 
quod  dixit,  potius  quam  id  non  fiat,  ego  dabo. 

Si.  Non  demutabo. 

Ps.  Namque  edepol,  si  non  dabis, 

clamor e  magno  et  multo  flagitabere. 
agite  amolimini  hinc  vos  Intro  nunciam 
ac  meis  vicissim  date  locum  fallaciis. 

Call.        Fiat,  geratur  mos  tibi. 

Ps.  Sed  te  volo 

domi  usque  adesse. 

Call.  Quin  tibi  banc  operam  dico.        560 

Si.  At  ego  ad  forum  ibo.     iam  hie  ero. 

Ps.  Actutum  redi. 

suspicio  est  mihi  nunc  vos  suspicarier, 
me  idcirco  haec  tanta  facinora  promittere, 
quo  vos  oblectem,  banc  fabulam  dum  transigam, 
neque  sim  facturus  quod  factururai  dixeram. 
non  demutabo.     atque  etiam  certum,  quod  sciam, 
quo  id  sim  facturus  pacto  nil  etiam  scio, 
nisi  quia  futurumst.     nam  qui  in  scaenam  provenit, 


206 


J 


PSEUDOLUS 

you  can  take  your  elm-wood  pen  in  hand  and  use 

my  whole  hide  for  parchment. 

{exchanging  smiles  rvitk   Callipho  and  indicating  his 

acceptance  of  the  terms)  Announce  your  games  now 

as  soon  as  you  please. 

{taking  charge)  Callipho,  I  want  you  to  devote  this 

day  to  me,  and  not  go  and  get  occupied  in  other 

business. 

The  fact  is  that  yesterday  a  trip  to  the  farm  was  to 

be  my  aim  to-day. 

Well,  now  move  your  guns  and  aim  elsewhere. 

Yes,  out  of  interest  in  you  I've  decided  not  to  leave 

now.     I  very  much  want  to  watch  these  games  of 

yours,  Pseudolus.     And  if  I  see  he  {indicating  Simo) 

doesn't  pay  you  the  money,  as  he  said,  why,  rather 

than  have  it  fall  through,  I'll  pay  myself. 

I  won't  retract. 

No,  by  gad,  for  if  you  don't  pay,  it's  loud  and  long 

that  you'll  be  dunned.     Come  on  now,  you  two, 

hoist  yourselves  out  of  here  into  the  house,  and  give 

me  a  chance  to  show  my  tricks,  for  a  change. 

{moving  off)  All  right,  have  things  your  own  way. 

But  I  want  you  to  stay  right  at  home. 

Yes,  yes,  I'm  at  your  disposal. 

[exit  Callipho  into  his  house. 
As  for  me,  I'm  going  to  the  forum.  I'll  be  back 
soon.  [exit  Simo. 

{calling  after  him)  You  be  back  mighty  soon !  {to 
the  audience)  I  have  a  suspicion  that  you  folks  sus- 
pect me  now  of  promising  these  mighty  deeds  just 
to  amuse  you  during  the  course  of  this  play  and  of 
not  doing  what  I  said  I  would.  I  won't  retract. 
And  as  for  knowing  how  I'll  do  it,  I  am  just  certain 
— of  knowing  just  nothing,  except  that  it'll  be 
done.     I  tell  you  what,  a  man  that  appears  on  the 

207 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

novo  modo  novom  aliquid  inventum  adferre  addecet ; 

si  id  facere  nequeat,  det  locum  illi  qui  queat.  570 

concedere  aliquantisper  hinc  mi  intro  lubct, 

dum  concenturio  in  corde  sycophantias. 

sed  mox  exibo,  non  ero  vobis  morae ; 

tibicen  vos  interibi  hie  delectaverit. 


ACTVS  II 

Ps.  Pro  luppiter,  ut  mihi,  quidquid  ago,  lepide  omnia 

prospereque  eveniunt : 
neque  quod  dubitem  neque  quod  timeam,  meo  in 

pectore  conditumst  consilium, 
nam  ea  stultitiast,  facinus  magnum  timido  cordi 

credere ;  nam  omnes 
res  perinde  sunt 
ut  agas,  ut  eas  magni  facias  ;  nam  ego  in  meo  pectore 

prius  ^ 
ita  paravi  copias, 
duplicis    triplicis    dolos   perfidias,  ut,  ubiquomque 

hostibus  congrediar —  580 

maiorum  meum  fretus  virtute  dicam, 
mea  industria  et  malitia  fraudulenta — 
facile  ut  vincam,  facile  ut  spoliem  meos  perduellis 

meis  perfidiis. 
nunc  inimicum  ego  hunc  communem  meum  atque 

vostrorum  omnium, 
Ballionem,  exballistabo  lepide  :  date  operam  modo  ;  ^ 
atque  hue  meas  legiones  adducam ;  si  expugno — 
fiioilem  hanc  rem  meis  civibus  faciam — 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here :  omnes  Leo. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  585*  : 
hoc  ego  oppidum  admoenire,  ut  hodie  capialur,  volo. 

2o8 


PSEUDOLUS 

stage  ought  to  bring  some  fresh  idea  worked  out  in 
fresh  fashion.  If  he  can't  do  this,  he  should  give 
place  to  a  man  that  can.  (pauses)  I'd  like  to  retire, 
myself,  for  a  bit  inside,  and  hold  a  mental  muster  of 
my  hocuspocus.  I'll  soon  be  back,  though,  and 
won't  keep  you  waiting.  Meantime  you'll  be 
entertained  by  the  fluteplayer  here. 

[exit  into  Simo's  house. 


ACT  II 

ENTER  PseudoluS  IN  LOFTY  SPIRITS. 

By  Jupiter!  How  charmingly,  how  blissfully,  all 
my  undertakings  do  turn  out  for  me !  Nothing  to 
doubt,  nothing  to  fear,  with  the  scheme  now  stored 
in  my  chest !  Ah,  the  folly  of  entrusting  a  weighty 
venture  to  a  weakUng  heart!  Ah,  all  things  are 
what  you  make  them ,  have  the  weight  you  give  them. 
Ah,  and  I,  the  way  I  have  my  troops  already  mar- 
shalled in  my  mind,  in  double,  triple,  line  of  wile 
and  guile,  let  me  meet  the  enemy  where'er  I  may, 
I — animated,  I  may  say,  by  the  noble  spirit  of  my 
sires  and  by  the  energy  and  artful  dodges  of  my 
own  self — shall  easily  master,  easily  despoil,  my 
foemen  with  my  flimflam.  Now  for  this  common 
enemy  of  all  of  us,  mine  and  yours,  this  Ballio — 
I'll  ballistify  him  in  fine  shape.  Just  you  watch  !  i 
Aye,  I'll  lead  my  legions  hither ;  on  taking  him  by 
storm — an  easy  matter  I'll  make  of  it  for  my  fellow- 
citizens — 111  then  next  lead  my  troops  against  this 

*  V.  585» :     This  is  the  town  I  wish  to  laysiege  and 
capture  this  very  day. 

aog 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

post  ad  oppidum  hoc  vetus  continuo  meum  exercitum 

protinus  obducam ; 
inde  me   et    simul  participes    omnis  meos    praeda 

onerabo  atque  opplebo. 
metum  et    fugam  perduellibus  meis  me  ut   sciant 

natum. 
eo  sum  genera  gnatus :    magna  me  facinora  decet 

efficere,  590 

quae  post  mihi  clara  et  diu  clueant. 
sed  hunc  quem  video  ?    quis  hie  est  qui  oculis  meis 

obviam  ignobilis  obicitur  ? 
lubet  scire  quid  hie  veniat  cum  machaera,  et  huic, 

quam  rem  agat,  hinc  dabo  insidias. 

II.  2. 

liar.        Hi  loci  sunt  atque  hae  regiones  quae  mi  ab  ero  sunt 

demonstratae, 
ut  ego  ocuUs  rationem  capio  quam  mi  ita  dixit  erus 

mens  miles, 
septumas  esse  aedis  a  porta  ubi  ille  habitet  leno,  quoi 

iussit 
symbolum  me  ferre  et  hoc  argentum.     nimis  velim, 

certum  qui  id  mihi  faciat, 
Ballio  leno  ubi  hie  habitat.^ 
Ps.  novo  consilio  nunc  mihi  opus  est,  601 

nova  res  subito  mi  haec  obiectast : 
hoc  praevortar  principio ;   ilia  omnia  missa  habeo, 

quae  ante  agere  occepi. 
lam  pol  ego  hunc  stratioticum  nuntium  advenientem 

probe  percutiam. 
Har.        Ostium  pultabo  atque  intus  evocabo  aliquem  foras. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  600  : 
Ps.  Si,  lace,  lace,  mens  hie  est  homo,  ni  omnes  di  atque  homines 

, ,  deserunt. 

210 


PSEUDOLUS 

old  town  (indicating  Simo's  house)  forthwith.  With 
that,  I'll  load  and  lavish  booty  on  myself  and  like- 
wise on  my  comrades  all,  on  my  foemen  dismay  and 
flight  and  let  them  know  that  I  am  I.  Such  is  the 
stock  from  which  I  spring — for  me  'tis  seemly  to 
succeed  in  weighty  ventures  which  will  leave  me  a 
lustrous  name  in  far  days  to  come,  (looking  donm 
the  street)  But  who  is  this  I  see  ?  Who  is  this  un- 
known thus  throvvn  athwart  my  line  of  vision? 
(getting  out  of  sight  hastily,  and  dropping  his  bombast) 
I'd  hke  to  find  out  what  he  and  his  sword  are  doing 
here;  I'll  ambuscade  him  from  over  here  and  see 
what  he's  up  to. 

cene  2.       enter  Harpax  is  semi-military  costume  and 

CARRYING   A   WALLET. 

lar.  (counting  the  houses)  Yes,  this  is  the  place,  this  is  the 
neighbourhood  he  described  to  me,  if  my  eyes  are 
any  judge  of  what  that  martial  master  of  mine  said 
— it  was  the  seventh  house  from  the  city  gate  where 
that  pimp  lived  who  was  to  get  the  token  and  this 
money  from  me.  But  I'd  certainly  Uke  to  be 
sho'wn  whereabouts  here  pimp  Ballio  actually  does 
Uve.^ 

(aside)  It's  a  new  plan  I  need  now,  ■with  this  new 
possibihty  suddenly  turning  up.  I'll  begin  by 
trying  this  one  first.  It's  all  off  with  those  other 
schemes  I  had  under  way.  Now,  by  gad,  it's  this 
armiferous  envoy  just  arriving  that  I'll  spear  in 
grand  style. 

Har.  (going  torvard  Ballio" s  house)  I'll  knock  at  the  door 
and  get  someone  out  here. 

*  V.  600  :     Ps.  Sh — h  !     Quiet,  quiet !    This  is  my  man, 
unless  all  gods  and  men  desert  me. 

211 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Quisquis  es,  compendium  ego   te   facere  pultandi 

volo; 

nam  ego  precator  et  patronus  foribus  process!  foras. 
Har.       Tune  es  Ballio  ? 

Ps.  Immo  vero  ego  eius  sum  Subballio. 

Har.       Quid  istuc  verbist  ? 

Ps.  Condus  promus  sum,  procurator  peni. 

Har.        Quasi  te  dicas  atriensem. 

Ps.  Immo  atriensi  ego  impero. 

Har.       Quid  tu,  servon  es  an  liber  ? 

Ps.  Nunc  quidem  etiam  servio.  610 

Har.        Ita  videre,  et  non  videre  dignus  qui  liber  sies. 
Ps.  Non  soles  respicere  te,  quom  dicis  iniuste  alteri  ? 

Har.       Hunc  hominem  malum  esse  oportet. 
Ps.  Di  me  servant  atque  amant, 

nam  haec  mihi  incus  est :  procudam  ego  hodie  hinc 
multos  dolos. 
Har.        Quid  illic  secum  solus  loquitur  ? 
Ps.  Quid  ais  tu,  adulescens  ? 

Har.  Quid  est  ? 

Ps.  Esne  tu  an  non  es  ab  illo  milite  Macedonio, 

servos  eius  qui  hinc  a  nobis  est  mercatus  mulierem, 

qui  argenti  ero  meo  lenoni  quindecim  dederat  minas, 

quinque  debet  ? 
Har.  Sum.     sed  ubi  tu  me  novisti  gentium 

aut  vidisti  aut  conlocutu's  ?  nam  equidem  Athenas 
antidhac  620 

numquam  veni,  neque  te  vidi  ante  hunc  diem  um- 
quam  oculis  meis. 
Ps.  Quia   videre   inde    esse ;     nam   olim    quom   abiit, 

argento  haec  dies 

praestitutast,  quoad  referret  nobis,  neque  dum  ret- 
tulit. 


212 


PSEUDOLUS 

(stepping  up  Jauntily)  Whoever  you  are,  you  will 

please  dispense  with  knocking ;  I  have  come  out  to 

plead  for  those  doors  and  give  them  my  personal 

protection. 

(looking  him  over  disapprovingly)  Are  you  Ballio? 

No,  no,  but  in  me  you  see  his  Sub-Ballio. 

That  meaning  what  ? 

I  am  the  layinandlayout  man,  the  superintendent 

of  supphes. 

The  major-domo,  as  you  might  say. 

No,  no,  the  major-domo  takes  orders  from  me. 

What  are  you,  a  slave  or  free  ? 

Well,  just  at  present  I  am  a  slave. 

(tartly)  So  I  judge,  and  I  also  judge  you  deserve  to 

stay  one. 

No  habit  of  yours  to  consider  your  own  ease  when 

you  run  down  someone  else,  is  it  ? 

(aside)  He  must  be  a  bad  one,  this  chap. 

(aside)  The  gods  are  •with  me  and  love  me !     Why, 

I've  got  a  regular  anvil  here — and  a  nice  lot  of  fakes 

I'll  forge  on  it  this  day. 

(aside)  What's  he  saying  all  to  himself? 

(aloud)  Look  here,  yoimg  fellow. 

What  is  it  ? 

Are  you  from  that  Macedonian  soldier  man,  the 

slave  of  the  chap  that  bought  a  girl  of  us  here,  that 

paid  my  master,  the  pimp,  sixty  pounds,  and  owes 

him  twenty  ? 

I  am.     But  where  on  earth  did  you  ever  know  or 

see  or  exchange  a  word  with  me  ?     For  the  fact  is, 

I  never  came  to  Athens  before,  and  not  till  to-day 

did  I  ever  set  eyes  on  you. 

Well,  I  judge  you  come  from  him.     For  when  he 

left  a  while  ago,  to-day  was  set  as  the  time-limit  for 

getting  that  money  to  us,  and  it  hasn't  yet  come. 

ai3 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Har.       Immo  adest. 
Ps.  Tun  attulisti  ? 

Har.  Egomet. 

Ps.  Quid  dubitas  dare  ? 

Har.       Tibi  ego  dem  ? 

Ps.  Mihi  hercle  vero,  qui  res  rationesque  eri 

Ballionis  euro,  argentum    accepto^  et  quoi   debet 
dato. 
Har.       Si  quidem  hercle  etiam   supremi  promptas   then- 
sauros  lovis, 
tibi  libellam  argenti  numquam  credam. 
Ps.  Dum  tu  sternuas, 

res  erit  soluta. 
Har.  Vinctam  potius  sic  servavero.  630 

Ps.  Vae  tibi,tu  inventu's  vero,meam  qui  furcilles  fidem. 

quasi  mihi  non  sescenta  tanta  soli  soleant  credier. 
Har.        Potest  ut  alii  ita  arbitrentur  et  ego  ut  ne  credam 

tibi. 
Ps.  Quasi  tu  dicas  me  te  velle  argento  circumducere. 

Har.        Immo  vero  quasi  tu  dicas  quasique  ego  autem  id 
suspicer. 
sed  quid  est  tibi  nomen  ? 
Ps.  Servos  est  huic  lenoni  Surus, 

eum  esse  me  dicam.     Surus  sum. 
Har.  Surus  ? 

Ps.  Id  est  nomen  mihi. 

Har.       Verba  multa  facimus.     erus  si  tuos  domi  est,  quin 
provocas, 
ut   id  agam   quod  missus  hue  sum,   quidquid    est 
nomen  tibi  ? 
Ps.  Si  intus  esset,  evocarem.     verum  si  dare  vis  mihi,      640 

^  Leo  brackets  following  expenso. 
214 


PSEUDOLUS 

Oh,  no,  it's  present,  (taps  Ms  rvallet) 

(holding  out  his  hand)  So  you  have  brought  it,  eh  ? 

Yes,  I. 

Then  why  so  slow  to  hand  it  over  ? 

To  you  ?     I  ? 

(surprised)  To  me,  of  course.  Lord,  yes !    Why,  I'm 

in  charge  of  master  Balllo's  affairs  and  accounts.    I 

take  in  money,  pay  out  money,  for  him  all  the  time. 

(impervious)  Lord,  man !     You  may   be   treasury 

clerk  to  Jove  on  high,  even,  but  not  one  farthing 

^^-ill  I  ever  trust  to  you. 

(reaching  for  the  wallet)  Why,  it  will  all  be  settled 

with  us  in  a  wink. 

(drawing  back)  I  prefer  to  keep  it  all  settled  with 

me  in  a  wallet. 

Ugh!     Curse  you!     So  you  have  turned  up  to 

pillorize  my  probity !      As  if  I  wasn't  trusted  with 

hundreds  of  times  that  siun  right  along  and  all 

alone. 

(coldly)  It  is  possible  for  others  to  hold  you  in  such 

esteem  without  my  trusting  you. 

The  same  as  your  saying  I  wanted  to  swindle  you 

out  of  the  money ! 

Oh,  no,  indeed!    The  same  as  your  saying  that, 

and  my,  well,  my  suspecting  that.     But  what's 

your  name  ? 

(aside)  The  pimp  has  a  slave  called  Surus.     I'll  say 

I'm  him.     (aloud)  I  am  Surus. 

Surus,  eh? 

That  is  my  name. 

This  is  idle  talk.     Whatever  your  name  is,  if  your 

master  is  at  home,  why  not  summon  him,  so  that  I 

may  do  the  business  I  was  sent  here  for  ? 

If  he  was  at  home,  I'd  call  him  out.     But  if  you 

wish  to  give  me  the  money,  your  business  will  be 

ai5 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

magis  erit  solutum,  quasi  ipsi  dederis. 
Har.  At  enim  sein  quid  est  ? 

reddere  hoc,  non  perdere  erus  me  misit.    nam  certo 

scio, 
hoc   febrim   tibi   esse,   quia  non   licet  hue  inicere 

ungulas. 
ego,  nisi  ipsi  Ballioni,  nummum  credam  nemini. 
Ps.  At  illic  nunc  negotiosust :  res  agitur  apud  iudicem. 

Har.       Di  bene  vortant.     at  ego  quando  eum  esse  censebo 
domi, 
rediero.     tu  epistulam  hanc  a  me  accipe  atque  illi 

dato. 
nam  istic  sumbolust  inter  erum  meum  et  tuom  de 
muliere. 
Ps.  Scio  equidem :  ^  qui  argentum  adferret  atque  ex- 

pressam  imaginem 
suam    hue    ad   nos,    cum    eo    aiebat    velle    mitti 

mulierem.  650 

nam  hie  quoque  exemplum  reliquit  eius. 
Har.  Omnem  rem  tenes. 

Ps.  Quid  ego  ni  teneam  ? 

Har,  Dato  istunc  sumbolum  ergo  illi. 

Ps.  Licet. 

sed  quid  est  tibi  nomen  ? 
Har.  Harpax. 

Ps.  Apage  te,  Harpax,  hau  places ; 

hue  quidem  hercle  haud  ibis  intro,  ne  quid   apira^ 
feceris. 
Har.       Hostis  vivos  rapere  soleo  ex  acie ;    eo  hoc  nomen 

mihi  est. 
Ps.  Pol  te  multo  magis  opinor  vasa  ahena  ex  aedibus. 

Har.        Non  ita  est.     sed  scin  quid  te  oro,  Sure  ? 
Ps.  Sciam  si  dixeris. 

Hot.       Ego  devortor  extra  portam  hue  in  tabernam  tertiam, 

*  Leo  brackets  following  vi. 
2l6 


PSEUDOLUS 

settled  more  than  if  you  gave  it  to  him.     (reaches 

again  for  the  tvallet) 

(backing  away)  Ah,   yes,   but   don't  you   get  the 

point  ?     My  master  sent  me  to  pay  this,  not  lose  it. 

You  see,  I'm  sure  that  what  makes  you  so  feverish 

is  the  fact  you  can't  dig  your  claws  into  it.     Not  a 

person  will  I  trust  with  a  penny  but  Balho  himself. 

But  he's  busy  now :  a  case  is  on  at  court. 

God  grant  it  turn  out  well.     But  as  for  me,  as  soon 

as  I  think  him  to  be  at  home,  I  shall  be  back. 

(producing  a  letter)  You  take  this  letter  from  me  and 

give  it  to  him.     For  there  is  the  token  your  master 

and  mine  agreed  upon  regarding  the  girl. 

(taking  it)  Yes,  yes,  I  know.     He  said  he  wanted 

the  girl  sent  with  the  man  that  brought  the  money 

here  to  us  and  a  seal  stamped  with  his  own  Ukeness. 

He  left  a  copy  of  it  here  also,  you  see. 

You  have  the  whole  thing. 

And  why  shouldn't  I  have  it  ? 

Give  that  token  to  him,  then. 

Very  well.     But  what  is  your  name  ? 

Harpax. 

(in  feigned  alarm)  Avaunt,  Harpax !     You  like  me 

not !     By  gad,  you  shan't  get  into  this  house,  that's 

sure !     No  harpy  acts  here ! 

(with  hauteur)    I   am  wont  to  snatch  my  foemen 

from  the  battle  line  alive :   hence  this  name  of 

mine. 

(snorting)  Huh!     Much  more  likely  you  snatched 

brass  pots  from  other  folks'  houses ! 

(somewhat  subdued)  That  is  not  so.     But  d'ye  know 

what  I  desire  of  you,  Surus  } 

I  shall,  if  you  tell  me. 

I'm  stopping  outside  the  gate  here,  at  the  third 


817 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

apud    anum     illam     doliarem,     claudam     crassam, 
Chrysidem. 
Ps.  Quid  nunc  vis  ? 

liar.  Inde  ut  me  arcessas,  erus  tuos  ubi  venerit.  660 

Ps.  Tuo  arbitratu,  maxume. 

Har.  Nam  ut  lassus  veni  de  via, 

me  volo  curare. 
Ps.  Sane  sapis  et  consilium  placet. 

sed  vide  sis  ne  in  qtiaestione  sis,  quando  arcessam, 
mihi. 
Har.        Quin  ubi  prandero,  dabo  operam  somno. 
Ps.  Sane  censeo. 

Har.        Numquid  vis  ? 
Ps.  Dormitum  ut  abeas. 

Har.  Abeo. 

Ps.  Atque  audin,  Harpage? 

iube  sis  te  operiri :  beatus  eris,  si  consudaveris. 


II.  3. 


di  immortales,  conservavit  me  illic  homo  adventu 

suo. 
sue  viatico  redduxit  me  usque  ex  errore  in  viam. 
nam  ipsa  mi  Opportunitas  non  potuit  opportunius 
advenire  quam  haec  allatast  mi  opportune  epistula.  670 
nam  haec  allata  cornu  copiaest,  ubi  inest  quidquid 

volo : 
hie  doli,  hie  fallaciae  omnes,  hie  sunt  sycophantiae, 
hie  argentum,  hie  amica  amanti  erili  filio. 
atque  ego  nunc  me   ut  gloriosum   faciam   et  copi 

pectore : 
quo  modo  quicque  agerem,  ut  lenoni  surruperem 

mulierculam. 
iam  instituta  ornata  cuncta  in  ordine,   animo   ut 

volueram, 
certa  deformata  habebam ;  sed  profecto  hoc  sic  erit : 

2l8 


PSEUDOLUS 

inn,  the  place  of  that  old  dame  built  like  a  barrel, 

limping,  lumbering — Chrysis. 

Weil,  what  now  ? 

Go  and  get  me  from  there  when  your  master  comes. 

As  you  like,  by  all  means. 

My  trip  here  has  tired  me,  you  see,  and  I  need 

refreshment. 

Sound  sense,  that,  and  I  quite  approve.     But  kindly 

take  care  I  don't  have  to  hunt  you  up  when  I  go  to 

get  you. 

No  fear.    After  a  bit  of  lunch,  111  have  a  good  sleep. 

A  very  happy  thought. 

(turning  to  go)  Nothing  else  you  wish  ? 

(pleasantly)  Only  for  you  to  go  and  have  your  nap. 

I  am  going.  [exit. 

Scene  3. 

(calling  after  him)  Oh,  and  listen,  Harpax !  Do 
have  plenty  of  bed-clothes.  It'll  set  you  up  to  get 
a  good  sweat,  (soliloquizing  gleefully)  Ye  immortal 
gods !  That  chap's  arrival  has  been  the  salvation 
of  me.  Here  I  was  far,  far  off  the  road,  and  he 
brought  me  back  and  paid  my  fare.  Why,  Time- 
liness herself  couldn't  arrive  at  a  timelier  moment 
for  me  than  the  timely  way  this  letter  came  to  hand. 
(gloating  over  it)  Why,  this  is  a  perfect  cornucopia 
that's  come,  with  everything  I  want  inside.  Here 
are  tricks,  here  are  all  sorts  of  devices,  here  are 
fairy  tales,  here's  money,  here's  the  mistress  for 
fond  young  master,  (pauses,  then  refectively)  And 
yet  the  idea  of  my  being  so  boastful  and  full- 
chested  now !  Already  I  had  my  plans  all  arranged 
and  equipped  to  the  last  detail,  just  as  I  wanted  'em, 
in  final  and  proper  shape  for  each  step  in  the  pro- 
cess of  getting  the  girl  away  from  the  pimp.     But 

219 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

centum  doctum  hominum  consilia  sola  haec  devincit 

dea, 
Fortuna.     atque  hoc  verum  est :  proinde  ut  quisque 

Fortuna  utitur, 
ita   praecellet    atque    exinde    sapere    eum    omnes 

dicimus.  680 

bene  ubi  quoi  scimus  consilium  accidisse,  hominem 

catum 
eum  esse  declaramus,  stultum   autem    ilium  quoi 

vortit  male, 
stulti    hau    scimus,   frustra  ut  simus,  quom    quid 

cupienter  dari 
petimus    nobis,    quasi    quid   in   rem    sit    possimus 

noscere. 
certa  mittimus,  dum  incerta  petimus ;    atque  hoc 

evenit 
in  labore  atque  in  dolore,  ut  mors  obrepat  interim, 
sed    iam    satis    est    philosophatum.     nimis    diu    et 

longum  loquor. 
di  immortales,  aurichalco  contra  non  carum  fuit 
meum  mendacium,  hie  modo  quod  subito  commentus 

fui, 
quia  lenonis  me  esse  dixi.   nunc  ego  hac  epistula         690 
tris  deludam,  erum  et  lenonem  et  qui  banc  dedit  mi 

epistulam. 
euge,  par  pari  aliud  autem  quod  cupiebam  contigit : 
venit  cecum  Calidorus,  ducit  nescio  quem  secum 

simul. 
II.  4. 
Cal.         Dulcia  atque  amara  apud  te  sum  elocutus  omnia : 

scis  amorem,  scis  laborem,  scis  egestatem  meam. 
Char.      Commemini    omnia :    id    tu   modo,    me    quid    vis 

facere,  fac  sciam.* 

^  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  696»-696'> : 
Cal.  Quom  haec  tibi  alia  sum  elocutus,  vix  rem  scis  de  symholo. 

Char.        Omnia,  inquam.    tu  modo  quid  me  facere  vis  fac  ut  sciam, 
220 


PSEUDOLUS 

this  is  surely  how  things  go — a  hundred  smart  men's 
schemes  are  all  inferior  to  one  lone  goddess,  Luck. 
Yes,  this  is  the  truth :  it's  the  way  a  man  uses  luck 
that  brings  him  eminence  and  makes  us  all  pro- 
nounce him  wise.  When  we  know  that  someone's 
project  came  off  well,  we  declare  him  to  be  a 
shrewd  fellow,  while  the  man's  a  fool  whose  project 
comes  to  grief.  We  are  fools  not  to  know  what  folly 
we  show  in  eagerly  seeking  for  some  boon  or  other, 
as  if  we  could  tell  what  was  beneficial.  Certainties 
we  forsake,  uncertainties  to  take.  And  it  all  comes 
to  this,  that  while  we  are  scurrying  and  worrying, 
up  creeps  death  upon  us.  But  enough  of  this 
philosophizing  now.  I'm  talking  too  long  and  too 
much,  {surveying  the  letter  again)  Ye  immortal  gods  ! 
It  was  worth  its  weight  in  gold,  that  lie  of  mine  I 
hit  upon  impromptu  now,  when  I  said  I  belonged 
to  the  pimp.  I'll  trap  three  people  with  this  letter 
now — master,  the  pimp,  and  the  man  that  gave  it 
to  me.  {looking  dorvn  the  street)  Grand!  If  here 
isn't  just  such  another  thing  as  I  hankered  for 
happening!  Yes,  sir,  there  comes  Calidorus, 
bringing  someone  or  other  along  with  him.  {with- 
draws into  the  alley) 

Scene  4.  enter  Calidorus  and  Charinus. 

Cal.  Now  I  have  told  you  everything,  sweet  and  bitter 
both.  You  know  of  my  affection,  my  affliction,  my 
need. 

Char.  I  have  everything  well  in  mind :  all  I  want  to  know 
is  what  you  want  me  to  do.^ 

>  Vv.  696»-696b  : 
Cal.  I  told  you  of  these  other  matters,  bat  yoa  hardly  know 

about  the  token. 
Char.       Eveiything,  I  say,  I  only  want  to  know  what  you  want  me 

to  do. 

231 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Cal.         Pseudolus  mi  ita  imperavit  ut  aliquem  hominem 
strenuom 

benevolentem  adducerem  ad  se. 
Char.  Servas  imperium  probe  ; 

nam  et  amicum  et  benevolentem  ducis.     sed  istic 
Pseudolus 

novos  mihist. 
Cal.  Nimium  est  mortalis  graphicus,^  heuretes  mihi  est.  700 

is  mihi  haec  sese  ecfecturum  dixit  quae  dixi  tibi. 
Ps.  Magnufice  hominem  compellabo. 

Cal.  Quoia  vox  resonat  ? 

Ps.  lo, 

io  te  te,  turanne,  te  te  ego,  qui  imperitas  Pseudolo, 

quaero,  quoi   ter  trina  triplicia,  tribus   modis   tria 
gaudia, 

artibus  tribus  tris  demeritas  dem  laetitias,  de  tribus 

fraude  partas  per  malitiam  et  per  dolum  et  falla- 
ciam ; 

in  libello  hoc  obsignate  ad  te  attuli  pauxillulo. 
Cal.         Illic  homost. 

Char.  Vt  paratragoedat  carnufex. 

Ps.  Confer  gradum 

contra  pariter,  porge  audacter  ad  salutem  bracchium. 
Cal.         Die  utrum  Spemme  an  Salutem  te  salutem,  Pseu- 

dole? 
Ps.  Immo  utrumque. 

Char.  Vtrumque,  salve,     sed  quid  actumst  ? 

Ps.  Quid  times  ?  710 

Cal.         Attuli  hunc. 
Ps.  Quid,  attulisti  ? 

Cal.  Adduxi  volui  dicere. 

Ps.  Quis  istic  est  ? 

Cal.  Charinus. 

Ps.  Euge.     iam  x'^P'-^  toi'tw  iroiov. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  evp-qn^s  Palmer. 
222 


PSEUDOLUS 

Pseudolus  ordered  me  to  bring  some  energetic  sort 

of  person  who  wished  me  well. 

You  follow  orders  excellently ;  for  it's  a  friend  and 

well-wisher  you  are  bringing.     But  that  Pseudolus 

is  a  new  one  to  me. 

(tvarmly)  Oh,  he's  a  perfect  marvel,  he's  my  homme 

de  ressource.  And  he  told  me  he'd  put  through  the 

things  I  told  you  of. 

(aloud)  I'll  address  him  in  the  grand  manner. 

Whose  resounding  voice  is  that  ? 

(struts  toward  them  ;  to  Calidorus,  in  mock-tragic  style] 

lo !     lo !     Thee,  thee,  Sire,  do  I  seek,  thee,  thee, 

who  dost  give  orders  unto  Pseudolus,  that  I  may 

give  thee  joys  thrice,  threefold  and  triple,  three 

joys  in  three  ways,  three  delights  by  three  arts  won, 

from  three  men  fraudulently  gained  by  guile  and 

stratagem.     All  this  have  I  brought  thee  in  this 

sealed  docimient  so  tiny,     (holds  it  up) 

That's  the  man. 

How  he  tragedizes,  the  rapscallion ! 

Match  thy  step  with  mine  and  meet  me  face  to  face, 

boldly  stretch  forth  thine  arm  to  (tvaving  the  letter) 

wish  welcome. 

Tell  me,  Pseudolus — am  I  to  wish  you  welcome  as 

Wish  Welcome  or  Wish  Come  True  ? 

Ah,  well,  as  both. 

Greetings,  Both!     But  what  have  you  done? 

What  fear  you  ?  (looks  Charinus  over) 

(to  Pseudolus,  with  a  nod  toward  Charinus)  He's  the 

man  I  caught. 

What?     Caught? 

Brought,  I  should  say. 

Who  is  he  ? 

Charinus. 

Bravo !     Now  pas  de  charite  de  Charin. 

223 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Char,      Quin  tu  si  quid  opust,  mi  audacter  imperas  ? 

Ps.  Tam  gratiast. 

bene  sit  tibi,  Charine.     nolo  tibi  molestos  esse  nos. 
Char.      Vos  molestos  milii  ?    molestumst  mi  id  quidem. 
Ps.  Txmi  igitur  mane. 

Cal.        Quid  istuc  est  ? 

Ps.  Epistulam  modo  banc  intercepi  et  sumbolum. 

Cal.        Sumbolum  ?     quem  sumbolum  ? 
Ps.  Qui  a  milite  allatust  modo. 

eius  servos  qui  hunc  ferebat  cum  quinque  argenti 
minis, 

tuam   qui    amicam    hinc    arcessebat,  ei  os   sublevi 
modo. 
Cal.        Quo  modo  ? 
Ps.  Horum  causa  haec  agitur  spectatorum  fabula :  720 

hi  sciunt,  qui  hie  adfuerunt ;  vobis  post  narravero. 
Cal.         Quid  nunc  agimus  .'' 

Ps.  Liberam  hodie  tuam  amicam  amplexabere. 

Cal.        Egone  ? 
Ps.  Tu  istic  ipsus,  inquam,  si  quidem  hoc  vivet  caput ; 

si  modo  mihi  hominem  invenietis  propere. 
Char.  Qua  facie  ? 

Ps.  Malum, 

callidum,  doCtum,  qui  quando  principium  prehen- 
derit, 

porro  sua  virtute  teneat  quid  se  facere  oporteat; 

atque  qui  hie  non  visitatus  saepe  sit. 
Char.  Si  servos  est, 

numquid  refert  ? 
Ps.  Immo  multo  mavolo  quam  liberum. 

Char.      Posse  opinor  me  dare  hominem  tibi  malum  et  doctum 
domo, 

qui   a   patre  advenit    Carysto  nee    dum   exiit   ex 
aedibus  730 


224 


PSEUDOLUS 

Come,  command  me  freely,  if  anything 's  needed. 
(shaking  his  head)  Thanks  just  as  much.     Good  luck 
to  you,  Charinus.     But  we  must  not  bother  you. 
Bother  me?     You?     Such  an  attitude  of  mind  does 
bother  me. 

Well  then,  wait,   {surveying  the  letter  with  much  com- 
placence) 
What's  that? 

This  letter  and  token  I  just  intercepted. 
Token  ?    What  token  ? 

The  one  just  brought  from  the  soldier.     His  slave 
who  was  bringing  this  with  twenty  pounds  in  cash 
and  was  coming  to  carry  off  your  girl — him  have  I 
just  bamboozled. 
Just  how  ? 

(severely)  This  play  is  being  acted  for  the  benefit  of 
these  spectators :    they  know  how,  having  been 
here.     You  two  I  shall  inform  later. 
What  are  we  to  do  now  ? 

You  are  to  hug  your  girl  who  this  day  gets  her 
freedom. 
(elated)  I? 

Yes,  you  your  very  self  there,  if  so  be  this  head  of 
mine  survives — if  only  you  two  will  find  me  a  man  in 
a  hurry. 

Of  what  description  ? 

Sly,  canny,  clever,  the  kind  that,  once  he  gets  a 
good  grip  on  fundamentals,  can  keep  hold  and 
carry  on  as  he  ought  of  his  own  abiUty.  Yes,  and 
one  not  often  observed  here. 

(after  a  moment's  thought)  If  he's  a  slave,  that 
doesn't  matter? 

(Jirmly)  No,  I  much  prefer  a  slave  to  a  free  man. 
I  do  beheve  I  can  furnish  you  your  sly,  clever  chap 
from  home,  one  that  came  from  my  father  in 

325 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

quoquam    neque    Athenas    advenit   umquam    ante 
hesternum  diem. 
P*.  Bene  iuvas.     sed  quinque  inventis  opus  est  argenti 

minis 
mutuis,  quas  hodie  reddam :   nam  huius  mihi  debet 
pater. 
Char.      Ego  dabo,  ne  quaere  aliunde. 
Ps.  O  hominem  opportunum  mihi. 

etiam  opust  chlamyde  et  machaera  et  petaso. 
Char.  Possum  a  me  dare. 

Ps.  Di  immortales,  non  Charinus  mihi  hie  quidem,  sed 

Copiast. 
sed  istic  servos,  ex  Carysto  qui  hie  adest,  ecquid 
sapit  ? 
Char.      Hircum  ab  ahs. 
Ps.  Manuleatam  tnnicam  habere  hominem  addecet. 

ecquid  is  homo  habet  aceti  in  pectore  ? 
Char.  Atque  acidissumi. 

Ps.  Quid,  si  opus  sit  ut  dulce  promat  indidem,  ecquid 

habet  ? 
Char.  Rogas  ?  740 

murrinam,  passum,  defrutum,  mellam,  mel  quoivis- 

modi ; 
quin    in   corde    instruere    quondam    coepit    panto- 
polium. 
Ps.  Eugepae,  lepide,  Charine,  meo  me  ludo  lamberas. 

sed  quid  nomen  esse  dicam  ego  isti  servo  ? 
Char.  Simiae. 

Ps.  Scitne  in  re  advorsa  vorsari  ? 

Char.  Turbo  non  aeque  citust. 

Ps.  Ecquid  argutust  ? 

Char.  Malorum  facinorum  saepissime. 

Ps.  Quid  cum  manifesto  tenetur? 


326 


PSEUDOLUS 

Carystus  and  hasn't  yet  gone  anywhere  outside  the 
house  or  ever  come  to  Athens  before  yesterday. 

Ps.  You  are  a  great  help.     But  I  need  to  find  twenty 

pounds  as  a  friendly  loan  which  I  shall  pay  back 
to-day — his  father  (indicating  Calidorus)  being  in- 
debted to  me. 

Char.      I'll  give  it  to  you,  don't  look  elsewhere. 

Ps.  Ah,  what  a  timely  man  for  me !     I  also  need  a 

military  cloak  and  a  sword  and  a  broad-brinmied 
hat. 

Char.      I  can  supply  you  myself. 

Ps.  Ye  immortal  gods !  I  see  this  is  not  Chariness,  but 
Profusion.  But  that  slave  who  is  here  from 
Carystus — has  he  any  sense  ? 

Char.      A  strong  one  of  goat  in  the  armpits. 

Ps.  A  long-sleeved  tunic  would  be  becoming  to  that 

chap.     But  sharpness — has  he  any  of  that  on  tap  ? 

Char.      Yes,  and  it's  like  concentrated  acid. 

Ps.  Ah,  and  what  if   there  was  need  of  his  drawing 

something  sweet  from  the  same  cellar — has  he 


any 


Char.  Sweet,  eh?  Myrrh  syrup,  raisin  wine,  grape- 
juice,  honey  water,  honey  in  every  form — why, 
once  he  tried  setting  up  a  Bon  Marche  inside 
himself. 

Ps.  Marvellous  !     How  delightfully  you  do  de-skin  me 

at  my  own  game,  Charinus!  But  by  what  name 
does  that  slave  go  ? 

Char.      Simia. 

Ps.  When  affairs  take  a  bad  turn  can  he  make  a  quick 
turn? 

Char.      Faster  than  a  top. 

Ps.  Damned  sly,  eh  ? 

Char.     Yes,  and  damned  for  a  lot  of  things  worse  than  that. 

Pt.         When  he  is  caught  in  the  act,  what  then  ? 

227 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Char.  Anguillast,  elabitur. 

Ps.  Ecquid  is  homo  scitust? 

Char.  Plebi  scitum  non  est  scitius. 

Ps.  Probus  homo  est,  ut  praedicare  te  audio. 

Char.  Immo  si  scias, 

ubi  te  aspexerit,  narrabit  ultro  quid  sese  velis.  750 

sed  quid  as  acturus  ? 
Ps.  Dicam.     ubi  hominem  exornavero, 

subditivom  fieri  ego  ilhim  militis  servom  volo ; 
sumbolum  hunc  ferat  lenoni  cum  quinque  argenti 

minis, 
mulierem    ab    lenone    abducat :    em    tibi   omnem 

fabulam. 
ceterum  quo  quicque  pacto  faciat,  ipsi  dixero. 
Cal.        Quid  nunc  igitur  stamus  ? 

Ps.  Hominem  cum  ornamentis  omnibus 

exornatum    adducite    ad    me  iam    ad    trapezitam 

Aeschinum. 
sed  properate. 
Cal.  Prius  illi  erimus  quam  tu, 

Ps.  Abite  ergo  ocius. 

quidquid  incerti  mi  in  animo  prius  aut  ambiguom 

fuit, 
nunc   liquet,   nunc   defaecatumst    cor   mihi ;    nunc 

perviumst :  760 

omnes  ordine  sub  signis  ducam  legiones  meas, 
avi  sinistra,  auspicio  liquido  atque  ex  mea  sententia ; 
confidentia  est  inimicos  meos  me  posse  perdere. 
nunc  ibo  ad  forum  atque  onerabo  meis  praeceptis 

Simiam, 
quid  agat,  ne   quid  titubet,  docte   ut  hanc  ferat 

fallaciam. 
iam  ego  hoc  ipsum  oppidum  expugnatum  faxo  erit 
lenonium. 

228 


PSEUDOLUS 

Char.     He's  an  eel,  slips  away. 

Ps.         Astute,  is  he  ? 

Char.      Astute  as  a  statute. 

Ps.  An  admirable  chap,  to  listen  to  your  account. 

Char.  Man,  man !  If  you  only  knew  him  !  The  moment 
he  sets  eyes  on  you,  he'll  go  ahead  and  state  what 
you  want  him  for.     But  what's  your  plan  ? 

Ps.  This.  When  I  have  him  all  got  up,  I  want  him  to 
pass  himself  oflP  as  the  soldier's  slave.  He  is  to 
bring  this  token  and  the  twenty  pounds  to  the  pimp, 
and  from  the  pimp  he  is  to  take  away  the  girl. 
There !  There  you  have  the  whole  plot.  As  for 
the  rest,  how  he  is  to  handle  details,  I  shall  instruct 
him  personally. 

Cal.  {restively  to  Charinus,  who  manis  more  information) 
Then  why  are  we  standing  here  now? 

Ps.  This  man,  get-up  and  got-up  all  complete,  is  to  be 

brought  to  me  directly  at  banker  Aeschinus'. 
{waving  them  off)  But  hurry ! 

Cal.        {pulling  along  Charinus)  We'll  be  there  before  you. 

[exeunt. 

Ps.  {calling  after  them)  Then  show  some  speed  in  start- 

ing, {elated)  Now  any  uncertainty  or  doubt  I  had 
before  is  clarified,  now  my  mind  is  settled;  now 
it's  a  broad  highway.  On  I'll  lead  my  legions  all, 
in  hne  beneath  their  standards,  a  bird  on  my  left, 
my  auspices  clear  and  quite  to  my  liking.  I'm 
confident  that  I  can  finish  off  my  foemen.  Now 
I'll  go  to  the  foriun  and  load  up  Simia  with  instruc- 
tions for  his  job,  so  that  he'll  make  no  slip  but  carry 
off  this  trick  like  a  man  of  training.  Under  my 
command  we'll  full  soon  take  by  storm  this  town  of 
Pimpville.  [exit. 


229 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ACTVS  III 
Pner       Cui  servitutem  di  danunt  lenoniam 

puero,  atque  eidem  si  addunt  turpitudinem, 

ne  illi,  quantum  ego  nunc  corde  conspicio  meo, 

malam  rem  magnam  multasque  aerumnas  danunt.     770 

velut  haec  mi  evenit  servitus,  ubi  ego  omnibus 

parvis  magnisque  miseriis  praefulcior: 

neque  ego  amatorem  mi  invenire  ullum  queo, 

qui  amet  me,  ut  curer  tandem  nitidiuscule. 

nunc  huic  lenoni  hodie  est  natalis  dies  : 

interminatus  est  a  minimo  ad  maximum, 

si  quis  non  hodie  munus  misisset  sibi, 

eum  eras  cruciatu  maximo  perbitere. 

nunc  nescio  hercle  rebus  quid  faciam  meis  ; 

neque    ego   illud    possum,    quod    illi    qui   possunt 

Solent.  780 

nunc,  nisi  lenoni  munus  hodie  misero, 
eras  mihi  potandus  fructus  est  fullonius. 
eheu,  quam  illae  rei  ego  etiam  nunc  sum  parvolus. 
atque.  edepol,  ut  nunc  male  eum  metuo  miser, 
si  quispiam  det  qui  manus  gravior  siet, 
quamquam  illud  aiunt  magno  gemitu  fieri, 
comprimere  dentes  videor  posse  aliquo  modo. 
sed  comprimenda  est  mihi  vox  atque  oratio  : 
erus  eccum  recipit  se  domum  et  ducit  coquom. 

III.  2. 

Bal.        Forum  coquinum  qui  vocant,  stulte  vocant,  790 

nam  non  coquinum  est,  verum  furinum  est  forium. 
230 


PSEUDOLUS 
ACT   III 

ENTER  AN  UNKEMPT  BOY  SLAVE  FROM  BalUo's  HOUSE. 

Boi/  (ruefully)  When  the  gods  give  a  boy  the  job  of 
slaving  it  for  a  pimp,  and  on  top  of  that  make  him 
an  ugly  boy, then  so  far  as  I  can  size  up  the  situation, 
they  certainly  do  give  him  a  lot  of  terrible  trials 
and  tribulations.  Take  my  case  and  the  slavery 
I'm  let  in  for  here,  where  miseries  of  every  sort, 
small  and  big,  are  my  mainstay.  And  I  can't  find 
a  single  lover  to  love  me,  so  that  I'd  finally  be  kept 
spruced  up  a  bit.  And  now  to-day's  the  birthday 
of  this  pimp.  My  word,  how  he  did  threaten  us  all, 
from  first  to  last,  that  whoever  didn't  send  him  a 
present  to-day  would  perish  in  awful  agony  to- 
morrow !  Oh,  Lord,  I  don't  know  what  to  do  now 
in  a  fix  like  mine !  I  can't  do  the  thing  that's 
generally  done  by  those  that  can.  So  now,  unless 
I  send  the  pimp  a  present  to-day,  to-morrow  I'll 
have  to  swallow  the  stuff  that  fullers  use.  Oh,  dear, 
how  tiny  I  am  for  that  even  now !  Lord,  Lord ! 
And  yet  I'm  so  fearfully,  frightfully  afraid  of  master 
now,  if  someone  put  something  in  my  hand  that 
made  it  heavier — no  matter  if  they  do  say  doing  it 
makes  you  groan  awfully — it  does  seem  as  if  I 
could  control  my  teeth  somehow,  (looking  donm  the 
street)  But  it's  my  voice  and  tongue  I  must  control. 
There's  master  coming  back  home  and  bringing  a 
cook.  [exit. 

Scene  2.  enter  Ballio  and  his  boy  slave,  followed  by  a 
COOK  and  his  helpers  with  utensils  and  provisions. 

Bal.  (peevishly)  Cooks'  Square !  A  fool  name  to  name 
that  place !     Why,  it's  Crooks'  Square,  not  Cooks'. 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nam  ego  si  iuratus  peiorem  hominem  quaererem 

coquom,  non  potui,  quam  hunc  quem  duco,  ducere, 

multiloquom  gloriosum  insulsum  inutilem. 

quin  ob  earn  rem  Orcus  recipere  ad  se  hunc  noluit, 

ut  esset  hie  qui  mortuis  cenam  coquat ; 

nam  hie  solus  illis  coquere  quod  plaeeat  potest. 

Coc.        Si  me  arbitrabare  isto  pacto,  ut  praedieas, 
cur  conducebas  ? 

Bal.  Inopia :  alius  non  erat. 

sed  cur  sedebas  in  foro,  si  eras  coquos,  800 

tu  solus  praeter  alios  ? 

Coc.  Ego  dicam  tibi : 

hominum  vitio  ego  sum  factus  improbior  coquos, 
non  meopte  ingenio. 

Bal.  Qua  istuc  ratione  ? 

Coc.  Eloquar. 

quia    enim,    cum    extemplo     veniunt     conductum 

coquom, 
nemo  ilium  quaerit  qui  optimus  et  carissimust : 
ilium  conducunt  potius  qui  vilissimust. 
hoc  ego  fui  hodie  solus  obsessor  fori, 
illi  drachmissent  miseri :  me  nemo  potest 
minoris  quisquam  nummo  ut  surgam  subigere. 
non  ego  item  cenam  condio  ut  alii  coqui,  810 

qui  mihi  condita  prata  in  patinis  proferunt, 
boves  qui  convivas  faciunt  herbasque  oggerunt, 
eas  herbas  herbis  aliis  porro  condiunt : 
indunt  coriandrum,  feniculum,  alium,  atrirni  holus, 
apponunt  rumicem,  brassicam,  betam,  blitum, 
eo  laserpici  libram  pondo  diluont, 
teritur  sinapis  scelera,  quae  illis  qui  terunt 
prius  quam  triverunt  oculi  ut  extillent  facit. 
ei  homines  cenas  ubi  coquont,  cum  condiunt, 
non  condimentis  condiunt,  sed  strigibus,  820 

vivis  convivis  intestina  quae  exedint, 

232 


PSEUDOLUS 

Why,  even  if  I  had  sworn  to  hunt  one  up,  a  worse 
specimen  than  this  cook  I'm  bringing  is  unbringable 
— blathering,  boastful,  witless,  useless !  The  only 
reason  Pluto  hasn't  wanted  him  in  hell  is  so  that 
there 'd  be  someone  left  on  earth  to  cook  oblations 
for  the  dead.  Why,  he's  the  one  man  can  cook 
things  to  their  taste. 

(stiffly)  If  you  thought  me  the  sort  you  say,  why 
did  you  hire  me  ? 

Dearth.  No  one  else  to  be  had.  But  why  were 
you  sitting  in  the  Square,  if  you  were  a  cook,  you 
alone,  you  only  ? 

This  is  why :  a  defect  of  human  nature,  no  fault  of 
mine,  makes  me  a  less  desirable  cook. 
How  d'ye  figure  that  out  ? 

You  shall  hear.  This  is  the  point — once  folks 
come  to  hire  a  cook,  not  a  soul  looks  for  the  best 
and  most  expensive :  instead,  they  hire  the  cheap- 
est. That  explains  my  besetting  the  Square  alone 
to-day.  Those  poor  boobies  are  one-bobbers :  no 
man  alive  can  have  me  off  my  haunches  for  less  than 
two  bob.  I  am  a  man  who  seasons  a  dinner 
differently  than  other  cooks,  who  season  me  whole 
plantations  and  put  'em  on  the  platters  and  make 
oxen  out  of  guests,  pile  on  the  fodder,  and  then 
proceed  to  season  that  fodder  with  more  fodder. 
They  serve  them  sorrel,  cabbage,  beets,  spinach, 
flavoured  with  coriander,  fennel,  garlic,  parsley, 
pour  in  a  pound  of  assafcetida,  grate  in  murderous 
mustard  that  makes  the  graters'  eyes  ooze  out  be- 
fore they  have  it  grated.  When  these  chaps 
season  the  dinners  that  they  come  and  cook,  they 
use  for  seasoning  no  seasonings,  but  screech-awls, 
to  eat  the  entrails  out  of  living  guests.     This,  this. 


*n 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

hoc  hie  quidem  homines  tarn  brevem  vitam  colunt, 

quom  hasce  herbas  huius  modi  in  suom  alvom  con- 
gerunt, 

formidulosas  dictu,  non  essu  modo. 

quas  herbas  pecudes  non  edunt,  homines  edunt. 
Bal.        Quid  tu  ?  divinis  condimentis  utere, 

qui  prorogare  vitam  possis  hominibus, 

qui  ea  culpes  condimenta  ? 
Coc.  Audacter  dicito ; 

nam  vel  ducenos  annos  poterunt  vivere 

meas  qui  essitabunt  escas  quas  condivero.  830 

nam  ego  cocilendrum  quando  in  patinas  indidi 

aut  cepolendrum  aut  maccidem  aut  secaptidem, 

eaepse  sese  ^  fervefaciunt  ilico. 

haec  ad  Neptuni  pecudes  condimenta  sunt : 

terrestris  pecudes  cicimahndro  condio, 

hapalocopide  aut  cataractria. 
Bal.  At  te  luppiter 

dique  omnes  perdant  cum  condimentis  tuis 

cumque  tuis  istis  omnibus  mendaciis. 
Coc.        Sine  sis  loqui  me. 

Bal.  Loquere,  atque  i  in  malam  crucem. 

Coc.        Vbi  omnes  patinae  fervont,  omnis  aperio :  840 

is  odos  dimissis  manibus  in  caelum  volat. 
B(U.        Odos  dimissis  manibus  ? 
Coc.  Peccavi  insciens. 

Bal.        Quidum  ? 
Coc.  Dimissis  pedibus  volui  dicere. 

eum  odorem  cenat  luppiter  cottidie. 
Bal.        Si  nusquam  is  coctum,  quidnam  cenat  luppiter? 
Coc.        It  incenatus  cubitum. 
Bal.  I  in  malam  crucem. 

istacine  causa  tibi  hodie  nummum  dabo  ? 
Coc.        Fateor  equidem  esse  me  coquom  carissumum ; 

^  Leo  brackets  following  patinae. 


PSEUDOLUS 

explains  why  people  here  have  such  short  lives — 
filling  their  bellies  full  of  fodder  of  this  sort,  ghastly 
to  mention,  not  merely  to  eat.  Fodder  that  cattle 
will  not  eat,  men  do  eat. 

(contemptuously)  And  yourself?  Use  celestial  season- 
ings, do  you,  that  let  you  prolong  men's  Uves,  you 
that  are  so  censorious  of  these  seasonings  ? 
(gravely)  You  may  say  that  with  confidence.  Why, 
those  that  fare  on  food  that  I  have  seasoned  are 
enabled  to  live  as  much  as  two  hundred  years. 
Why,  when  I  have  put  a  dash  of  cinnatopsis  in  the 
pans,  or  clovitopsis,  or  sageolio,  or  allspiceria,  they 
heat  up  automatically  and  instantaneously.  These 
are  my  seasonings  for  Neptune's  cattle  :  terrestrial 
cattle  I  season  with  cassitopsis,  pepitilis  or  cap- 
sicoria. 

Ugh!  May  all  the  powers  above  annihilate  you 
and  your  seasonings,  and  all  those  lies  of  yours 
together ! 

Kindly  allow  me  to  continue. 
Continue,  and  be  hanged ! 

Wlien  all  the  pans  are  hot,  I  open  them  all  up :  the 
odour  from  'em  flies  to  heaven  with  outstretched 
arms. 

An  odour  with  outstretched  arms,  eh? 
Ah,  I  made  a  careless  slip. 
How  so  ? 

I  meant  to  say,  with  outstretched  feet.     And  this 
odour  Jupiter  has  each  day  for  dinner. 
In  case  you  don't  go  out  to  cook,  how  does  Jupiter 
contrive  to  dine  ? 
He  goes  to  bed  without  dining. 
You  go  and  be  hanged !     Am  I  to  give  you  two  bob 
to-day  for  that  ? 
I  of  course  admit  that  I  am  a  very  expeiisive  cook. 

335 


TITUS    MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

verum  pro  pretio  facio  ut  opera  appareat 

mea  quo  conductus  venio. 
Bal.  Ad  furandum  quidem.        850 

Coc.        An  tu  invenire  postulas  quemquam  coquom 

nisi  miluinis  aut  aquilinis  ungulis  ? 
Bal.        An  tu  coquinatum  te  ire  quoquam  postulas, 

quin  ibi  constrictis  ungulis  cenam  coquas  ? 

nunc  adeo  tu,  qui  meus  es,  iam  edico  tibi, 

ut  nostra  properes  amoliri  omnia, 

turn  ut  huius  oculos  in  oeulis  habeas  tuis : 

quoquo  hie  spectabit,  eo  tu  spectato  simul ; 

si  quo  hie  gradietur,  pariter  progredimino  ; 

manum  si  protoUet,  pariter  proferto  manum :  860 

suom  si  quid  sumet,  id  tu  sinito  sumere ; 

si  nostrum  sumet,  tu  teneto  altrinsecus. 

si  iste  ibit,  ito,  stabit,  astato  simul ; 

si  conquiniscet  istic,  conquiniscito. 

item  his  discipulis  privos  custodes  dabo. 
Coc.        Habe  modo  bonum  animum. 
Bal.  Quaeso,  qui  possum,  doce, 

bonum    animum   habere    qui   te   ad   me   adducam 
domum  ? 
Coc.        Quia  sorbitione  faciam  ego  hodie  te  mea, 

item  ut  Medea  Peliam  concoxit  senem, 

quem  medicamento  et  suis  venenis  dicitur  870 

fecisse  rursus  ex  sene  adulescentulum, 

item  ego  te  faciam. 
Bal.  Eho,  an  etiam  es  veneficus  ? 

Coc.        Immo  edepol  vero  hominum  servator. 
Bal.  Ehem, 

quanti  istuc  unum  me  ^  coquinare  perdoces  ? 
Coc.        Quid  ? 

Bal.  Vt  te  servem,  ne  quid  surripias  mihi. 

Coc.        Si  credis,  nummo;  si  non,  ne  mina  quidem. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   subdoces  A. 
336 


PSEUDOLUS 

But  in  any  house  I  go  to,  I  make  sure  that  the  cost 
of  hiring  me  shows  in  the  way  I  work. 

Bal.        Ah,  yes,  pilfering. 

Cook  (failing  to  out-glare  BalUo,  then  amiably)  Can  it  be 
you  expect  to  find  any  cook  without  a  kite's  or 
eagle's  claws  ? 

Bal.  Can  it  be  you  expect  to  go  a-cooking  anywhere 
unless  your  claws  are  clamped  while  you  cook  your 
dinner  ?  (to  Boy)  Now  then,  you  that  belong  to  me ! 
I  hereby  give  you  notice  to  hustle  all  our  stuff  out 
of  range,  and  then  keep  your  eyes  on  his  eyes : 
wherever  he  looks,  you  look  there  too ;  if  he  roams 
about,  you  roam  along  with  him ;  if  his  hand  goes 
out,  out  goes  yours  beside  it ;  if  he  picks  up  any- 
thing that's  his,  let  him  have  it ;  if  it's  ours,  you  get 
a  grip  on  the  other  side.  If  he  moves,  you  move ; 
stands,  you  stand  there  too  ;  if  he  stoops,  stoop  with 
him.  Yes,  and  each  of  these  understrappers  shall 
have  his  own  private  watchman. 

Cook       (suavely)  Just  you  rest  easy. 

Bal.  Rest  easy  ?  Lord,  man,  how  can  I,  tell  me  that, 
when  I'm  bringing  you  into  my  house  ? 

Cook  Ah,  but  my  potage  !  What  I  shall  do  for  you  to-day 
with  that !  Why,  just  hke  old  Medea  boiled  Pehas 
and  made  him  new,  so  they  say,  from  an  old  hunks 
to  a  fresh  young  blood,  with  drugs  and  potions — 
that  is  just  what  I  shall  do  for  you. 

Bal.        Potions,  eh  ?     Are  you  a  poisoner  too  ? 

Cook  No,  no,  good  heavens,  no!  I  am  the  saviour  of 
mankind. 

Bal.  Hm !  What's  your  charge  for  teaching  me  that 
one  culinary  feat? 

Cook      What  one  ? 

Bal.        Sa\ing,  saving  you  from  the  sin  of  pilfering  from  me. 

Cook      Two  shillings  ifyou  trust  me;  if  not,  four  poimdsis 

337 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

sed  utrum  tu  amicis  hodie  an  inimicis  tuis 

daturu's  cenam  ? 
Bal.  Pol  ego  amicis  scilicet. 

Coc.        Quin  tuos  inimicos  potius  quam  amicos  vocas  ?  880 

nam  ego  ita  convivis  cenam  conditam  dabo 

hodie  atque  ita  suavi  suavitate  condiam : 

ut  quisque  quicque  conditum  gustaverit, 

ipsus  sibi  faciam  ut  digitos  praerodat  suos. 
Bal.        Quaeso  hercle,  prius  quam  quoiquam  convivae  dabis, 

gustato  tute  prius  et  discipulis  dato, 

ut  praerodatis  vostras  furtificas  manus. 
Coc.        Fortasse  haec  tu  nunc  mihi  non  credis  quae  loquor. 
Bal.         Molestus  ne  sis,  nimium  ^  tinnis  ;  non  taces  ? 

em  illic  ego  habito.     intro  abi  et  cenam  coque.  890 

propera. 
Puer  Quip  tu  is  accubitum,  et  convivas  cedo, 

corrumpitur  iam  cena. 
Bal.  Em,  subolem  sis  vide  : 

iam  hie  quoque  scelestus  est,  coqui  sublingulo. 

profecto  quid  nunc  primum  caveam  nescio, 

ita  in  aedibus  sunt  fures,  praedo  in  proxumo  est. 

nam  mi  hie  vicinus  apud  forum  paulo  prius, 

pater  Calidori,  opere  edixit  maxumo, 

ut  mihi  caverem  a  Pseudolo  servo  suo, 

ne  fidem  ei  haberem.     nam  eum  circum  ire  in  hunc 
diem, 

ut  me,  si  posset,  muliere  intervorteret ;  900 

eum  promisisse  firmiter  dixit  sibi, 

sese  abducturum  a  me  dolis  Phoenicium. 

nunc  ibo  intro  atque  edicam  familiaribus, 

profecto  ne  quis  quicquam  credat  Pseudolo. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  iam. 


238 


PSEUDOLUS 

too  cheap.  But  are  you  giving  this  dinner  to-day 
to  your  friends  or  enemies  ? 

3al.        I  ?     Gad,  to  friends,  of  course ! 

>o/t  \STiy  not  invite  your  enemies  instead  of  friends  ? 
For  the  dinner  I  set  before  your  guests  this  day 
will  be  so  savoury,  seasoned  so  lusciously,  so 
lusciously — once  a  man  tastes  a  dish  seasoned  by 
me  I  shall  have  him  gnawing  off  the  ends  of  his  own 
fingers. 

3al.  Then  for  God's  sake,  before  you  serve  a  single 
guest,  take  a  taste  yourself  first  and  give  one  to 
your  understrappers,  so  that  you'll  all  gnaw  off  the 
ends  of  your  own  light-fingered  hands. 

Cook       Perhaps  you  do  not  believe  what  I  tell  you  now. 

Sal.  {with  gruff  Jinality)  Don't  be  a  nuisance!  You 
cackle  too  much.  Shut  up,  will  you?  There! 
(pointing)  That's  my  house.  Be  off  inside  with 
you  and  cook  dinner.     Move ! 

Cook's  Boy  (to  BaUio,jiippantly)  Go  take  your  place,  and  get 
your  guests  in  :  dinner's  spoiling  already,    [exeunt. 

Bal.  (glon'ering  after  the  Boy)  Huh  !  Just  look  at  that 
young  limb,  will  you !  He's  already  a  rapscallion 
too,  the  cook's  underlickprater.  What  to  guard 
against  first  now,  I  absolutely  don't  know.  Here 
I  am  with  thieves  in  my  house  and  a  highwayman 
(gloTpering  at  Simo's  house)  next  door.  For  my 
neighbour  here,  Calidorus'  father,  gave  me  most 
emphatic  notice,  a  little  while  ago  at  the  forum,  to 
guard  against  his  slave  Pseudolus  and  put  no  trust 
in  him.  Said  he  was  on  the  hunt  all  this  day  trj'ing 
to  see  if  he  couldn't  do  me  out  of  my  girl ;  had 
vowed  up  and  down  to  him  he  would  diddle 
Phoenicium  away  from  me.  Now  Fll  go  in  and 
give  notice  to  my  household  that  not  a  soul  is  to  put 
the  slightest  trust  in  Pseudolus.  [exit. 

»39 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

ACTVS  IV 

Ps.  Si  umquam  quemquam  di  immortales  voluere  esse 

auxilio  adiutum, 
turn   me   et    Calidorum   servatum   volunt   esse   et 

lenonem  extinctum, 
quom  te   adiutorem   genuerunt  mihi   tam  doctum 

hominem  atque  astutum. 
sed  ubi  illic  est?     sumne  ego  homo  insipiens,  qui 

haec  mecum  egomet  loquar  solus? 
dedit  verba  mihi  hercle,  ut  opinor : 
malus  cum  malo  stulte  cavi. 
tiun  pol  ego  interii,  homo  si  ille  abiit,  neque  hoc 

opus  quod  volui  hodie  efficiam. 
sed   eccum  video   verbeream   statuam:    ut   it,  ut 

magnifice  infert  sese. 
ehem,     te     hercle     ego    circumspectabam,     nimis 
metuebam  male,  ne  abiisses. 
Sim.        Fuit  meum  officium  ut  facerem,  fateor. 
Ps.  Vbi  restiteras  ? 

5tni.  Vbi  mihi  Ubitum  est. 

Ps.  Istuc  ^  ego  satis  scio. 

&'»!.  Quor  ergo  quod  scis  me  rogas  ? 

Ps.  At  hoc  volo  monere  te. 

Sim.  Monendus  ne  me  moneas. 

Ps.  Nimis  tandem  ego  aps  te  contemnor. 

&m.        Quippe  ego  te  ni  contemnam, 
stratioticus  homo  qui  cluear  ? 
Ps.  lam  hoc  volo  quod  occeptumst  agi. 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  istuc  ipsus  Lindsay. 
240 


PSEUDOLUS 

ACT    IV 

ENTER  Pseudolus. 

(over  his  shoulder,  ingratiatingly)  If  the  everlasting 
gods  ever  wished  any  man  to  be  assisted  by  aid 
divine,  they  certainly  wish  me  and  Calidorus  saved 
and  the  pimp  extinguished,  with  their  producing 
such  a  clever,  wily  chap  as  you  for  my  assistant. 
(pauses,  then  turns  around)  But  where  is  the  fellow  ? 
Am  I  getting  feeble-minded,  to  converse  with  my- 
self this  way  all  alone  ?  (worried)  By  Jove !  He 
has  come  one  over  me,  I  do  believe !  Both  of  us  so 
sharp,  and  I  so  dull  a  watchman !  Good  Lord !  If 
that  chap  has  slipped  me,  then  I'm  a  goner  and 
can't  put  through  this  job  I  wanted  done  to-day. 
(looking  down  the  street)  Ah,  but  there  he  comes,  the 
statue  of  cowhide !  See  the  step  of  him,  the  lordly 
strut!  (calling,  as  pleasantly  as  possible)  Well,  my 
word !  Gad,  man,  I  was  looking  all  about  for  you. 
I  was  most  awfully  afraid  you  had  given  me  the  slip. 

ENTER  Simia,  swaggering  along  in  military 

COSTUME. 

A  function  quite  fitting  for  me,  I  confess. 

Where  was  it  you  stopped  ? 

(readjusting  his  cloak)  Where  I  chose. 

I'm  well  enough  aware  of  that. 

Then  why  ask  me  what  you  are  aware  of  .^ 

But  I  want  to  give  you  some  advice. 

None  for  me  from  a  man  that  needs  it  so. 

Really,  you're  treating  me  with  |X)sitive  contempt. 

Contempt  for  you  ?     Why  not,  I  being  a  celebrated 

army  man? 

But  I  want  this  job  we've  begun  done  at  once. 

241 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Sim.  Numquid  agere  aliud  me  vides  ? 

Ps.  Ambula  ergo  cito. 

Sim.  Immo  otiose  volo.  920 

Ps,  Haec  ea  occasiost :   dum  ille  dormit,  volo 

tu  prior  ut  occupes  adire. 
Sim.        Quid  properas  ?     placide,  ne  time. 

ita  ille  faxit  luppiter, 

ut  ille  palam  ibidem  adsiet, 

quisquis  illest,  qui  adest  a  milite. 

numquam  edepol  erit  ille  potior 

Harpax  quam  ego.     habe  animum  bonum : 

pulchre  ego  hanc  explicatam  tibi  rem  dabo. 

sic  ego  ilium  dolis  atque  mendaciis 

in  timorem  dabo  militarem  advenam, 

ipsus  sese  ut  neget  esse  eum  qui  siet 

meque  ut  esse  autumet  qui  ipsus  est. 
Ps.  Qui  potest  ?     930 

Sim.        Occidis  me,  cum  istuc  rogitas. 

Ps.  O  hominem  lepidum. 

Sim.        Te  quoque  etiam  dolis  atque  mendaciis, 

qui  magister  mihi  es,  antidibo,  ut  scias. 
Ps.  luppiter  te  mihi  servet. 

Sim.  Immo  mihi. 

sed  vide,  ornatus  hie  me  satin  condecet  ? 
Ps.  Optume  habet. 

Sim.  Esto. 

Ps.  Tantum  tibi  boni  di  immortales  duint  quantum  tu 

tibi  optes ; 

nam  si    exoptem,  quantum  dignu's    tantum  dent, 
minus  nihilo  sit. 

neque    ego    hoc    homine    quemquam    vidi    magis 
malum  et  maleficum. 
Sim.        Tun  id  mihi  ? 


242 


PSEUDOLUS 

(busy  rvith  his  accoutrements)  D'ye  see  me  doing  any- 
thing else  ? 

Then  step  along  quickly. 
Oh,  no,  a  leisurely  pace  for  me. 
(urgently)  This  is  our  chance :    while  that  chap's 
asleep  I  want  you  to  steal  a  march  on  him  and 
present  yourself  first. 

\Vhy  rush  ?  Take  it  calmly,  keep  cool.  I  hope  to 
heaven  that  chap  shows  up  and  presents  himself 
there  too,  that  chap,  whoever  he  is,  from  the 
soldier's.  Gad !  Never  will  that  chap  beat  me  at 
being  Harpax.  Rest  easy.  I  am  the  man  to  fix 
this  up  in  fine  shape  for  you.  WTiat  with  my  tricks 
and  lies,  I  shall  give  that  chap, our  military  stranger, 
such  a  scare  that  he  will  deny  his  own  identity  and 
declare  me  to  be  himself. 
How  can  you  ? 

(irritably)  You  will  be  the  death  of  me  with  such 
questions. 

(soothingly)  Oh,  you  wonderful  man! 
Yes,  and  you  yourself,  my  teacher,  in  tricks  and 
lies  I  shall  get  ahead  of  you,  too,  just  to  show  you. 
God  preserve  you  for  me ! 

No,  for  myself,  (parading)  But  look — does  this  uni- 
form become  me  as  it  should  ? 
Marvellously. 
"Tis  well. 

(enthusiastically)  May  the  immortal  gods  grant  you 
every  good  thing  you  can  desire  for  yourself;  for 
if  I  should  desire  'em  to  give  you  every  good  thing 
you  deserve,  (trying  to  conceal  his  venom  rvith  a 
grin)  that  would  be  less  than  nothing.  As  a  bad 
man,  bad  in  every  act,  I  have  yet  to  see  this  fellow's 
better. 
(in  mocking  appreciation)  This  to  me  from  you  ? 

343 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Taceo. 

sed   ego   quae  tibi   bona   dabo  et  faciam,  si  banc 

sobrie  rem  accurassis. 
Sim,        Potin  ut  taceas  ?     memorem  immemorem  facit  qui 

monet  quod  memor  meminit.  940 

teneo,  omnia  in  pectore  condita  sunt,  meditati  sunt 

mihi  doli  docte. 
Ps.  Probus  est  hie  homo. 

Sim.  Neque  hie  est  neque  ego. 

Ps.  At  vide  ne  titubes. 

Sim.  Potin  ut  taceas  ? 

Ps.  Ita  me  di  ament — 

Sim.  Ita  non  facient :  mera  iam  mendacia  fundes. 

Ps.  Vt  ego  ob  tuam,  Simia,  perfidiam  te  amo  et  metuo 

et  magni  facio. 
Sim.        Ego  istuc  aliis  dare  condidici :    mi  optrudere   non 

potes  palpum. 
Ps.  Vt  ego  accipiam.  te  hodie  lepide,  ubi  efFeceris  hoc 

opus, 
Sim.  Ha  ha  hae. 

Ps.  Lepido    victu,    vino,    unguentis    et    inter    pocula 

pulpamentis ; 
ibidem  una   aderit  mulier  lepida,  tibi  savia  super 

savia  quae  det. 
Sim.        Lepide  accipis  me. 

Ps.  Immo  si  efficies,  tum  faxo  magis  id  dicas. 

Sim.        Nisi  efFecero,  cruciabiliter  carnifex  me  accipito.  950 

sed    propera    mihi    monstrare,    ubi    sit   os    lenonis 

aedium. 
Ps.         Tertium  hoc  est. 
Sim.  St,  tace,  aedes  hiscunt. 

244 


PSEUDOLUS 

(dryly)  I'm  shut  up.  {glowingly')  But  I — the  good 
things  I'll  give  you  and  do  for  you,  if  you'll  only 
give  this  matter  serious  attention. 
{arrogantly)  Can  you  shut  up  ?     It  makes  a  mindful 
man  unmindful  to  be  reminded  of  what  he  re- 
members and  has  in  mind.     I  know  it  all,  every- 
thing is  stored  in  my  chest,  my  schemes  have  been 
given  competent  consideration. 
A  fine  fellow,  this ! 
This  meaning  neither  him  nor  me. 
But  do  see  there's  no  slip-up. 
Can  you  shut  up  ? 

{earnestly)  So  help  me  God 

{interrupting)  Which  He  wiU  not :  now  comes  a  flood 

of  falsehoods  unalloyed. 

(continuing)  1  love  you,  Simla,  and  hold  you  in  awe 

and  honour,  you're  such  a  liar. 

I  am  a  master  at  handing  out  that  stuff  to  others : 

you  can  pass  off  no  such  pap  on  me. 

(undaunted)  Ah,  the  wonderful  treat  ni  give  you 

this  day  when  you've  put  this  job  through 

Haw !     Haw !     Haw ! 

(continuing)  Wonderful  food,  wine,  perfumes,  and 
goodies  to  go  with  our  drinks !  Yes,  and  a  wonder- 
ful girl  will  be  there  too,  to  kiss  you  and  kiss  you, 
the  nicest  way. 

(interested)  You  are  giving  me  a  wonderful  treat ! 
That's  nothing.     Put  this  through,  and  I'll  give 
you  more  cause  to  say  so. 

(thrilled)  If  I  don't  put  it  through,  hangman,  treat 
me  to  a  halter !     But  hurry,  show  me  the  vent  of 
the  house  of  the  pimp ! 
(pointing)  The  third  one  here. 
(as  the  door  opens)  Sh-h !    Shut  up      The  bouse  is 
gaping. 

a4S 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Ps-  Credo,  animo  malest 

aedibus. 

Sim.  Quid  iam  ? 

P-1.  Quia  edepol  ipsum  lenonem  evomunt. 

Sim.        lUicinest  ? 

Ps.  lUic  est. 

Sim.  Mala  mercist.^ 

Ps.  Illuc  sis  vide, 

ut   transversus,  non  proversus   cedit,  quasi  cancer 

solet. 

IV.  2. 

Bal.         Minus  malum  hunc  hominem  esse  opinor  quam  esse 
censebam  coquom, 
nam  nihil  etiam  dum  harpagavit  praeter  cyathum  et 
cantharum. 
Ps.  Heus  tu,  nunc  occasio  est  et  tempus. 

Sim.  Tecum  sentio. 

Ps.  Ingredere  in  viam  dolose  :   ego  hie  in  insidiis  ero. 

Sim.        Habui  numerum  sedulo :  hoc  est  sextum  a  porta 

proxumum  960 

angiportum,  in  id  angiportum  me  devorti  iusserat; 
quotumas  aedis  dixerit,  id  ego  admodum  incerto 
scio. 
Bal.         Quis  hie  homo  chlamydatus  est  aut  unde  est  aut 
quern  quaeritat  ? 
peregrina  facies  videtur  hominis  atque  ignobilis. 
Sim.        Sed  eccum  qui  ex  incerto  faciet  mihi  quod  quaero 
certius. 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :   Pseudole,  Bothe. 
246 


PSEUDOLUS 

(drarving  Simia  into  a  recess)  It's  a  house  that's  feel- 
ing ill,  I  fancy. 
How  so  ? 

Because  it's  spewing  out  the  pimp  himself,  by  gad ! 
So  that's  the  fellow? 
That  is. 

He's  a  poor  piece  of  goods. 

(as  Ballio  sidles  slyly  about  his  doorrvay  observing 
operations  tvithin)  Just  see  that,  will  you,  how  he 
travels  sideways  instead  of  straightways,  as  a  crab 
does  I 

Scene  2.  enter  Ballio  from  doorway. 

Bal.  (to  himself,  grimly)  I  do  believe  this  chap  is  less 
dishonest  than  I  supposed  a  cook  could  be.  Why, 
not  a  thing  has  he  cabbaged  so  far  except  a  ladle 
and  tankard. 

Ps.  (aside  to  Simia)  Hey,  you !  Here's  your  chance  and 
time. 

Sim.        I  agree  with  you. 

Ps.  Get  into  action  now,  and  make  it  sly:  I'll  be  in 
ambush  here. 

Sim.  (aloud,  stepping  out  and  studying  the  neighbourhood) 
I've  been  careful  about  the  number:  this  is  the 
sixth  alley  from  the  city  gate,  and  that's  the 
alley  where  he  told  me  to  turn  in.  But  how  many 
houses  he  said  is  something  I'm  quite  uncertain 
of. 

Bal.  (aside,  seeing  him)  Who's  this  chap  in  the  mihtary 
cloak  ?  Where's  he  from  ?  Who's  he  hunting  for  ? 
Seems  to  be  a  foreigner  from  his  looks,  and  no  one 
I  know. 

Sim,  (turning  toward  Ballio)  Ah,  but  there's  someone 
who'll  make  this  doubtful  quest  of  mine  less 
doubtful. 

247 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.        Ad  me  adit  recta,     unde  ego  hominem  hunc  esse 

dicam  gentium  ? 
Sim.        Heus  tu,  qui  cum  hirquina  barba  stas,  responde  quod 

rogo. 
Bal.        Eho.  an  non  prius  salutas  ? 

Sim.  Nulla  est  mihi  salus  dataria. 

Dal.        Nam  pol  hinc  tantumdem  accipies. 

Ps.  lam  inde  a  principio  probe.  970 

Sim.        Ecquem  in  angiporto  hoc  hominem  tu  novisti  ?  te 

rogo. 
Dal.        Egomet  me. 

Sim.  Pauci  istuc  faciunt  homines  quod  tu  praedicas, 

nam  in  foro  vix  decumus  quisque  est  qui  ipsus  sese 

noverit. 
Ps.  Salvos  sum,  iam  philosophatur. 

Sim.  Hominem  ego  hie  quaero  malum, 

legirupam,  impurum,  peiurum  atque  impium. 
Bal.  Me  quaeritat, 

nam  ilia  mea  sunt  cognomenta  ;  nomen  si  memoret 

modo. 
quid  est  ei  homini  nomen  ? 
Sim.  Leno  Ballio. 

Bal.  Scivin  ego  ? 

ipse  ego  is  sum,  adulescens,  quem  tu  quaeris. 
Sim.  Tune  es  Ballio  ? 

Dal.        Ego  enim  vero  is  sum. 
Sim.  Vt  vestitu's,  es  perfossor  parietum.  980 

Bal.        Credo,  in  tenebris,  conspicatus  si  sis  me,  apstineas 

manum. 
Sim.        Erus  meus  tibi  me  salutem  multam  voluit  dicere. 

hanc  epistulam  accipe   a  me,   hanc  me  tibi  iussit 

dare. 
Bal.         Quis  is  homost  qui  iussit  ? 

Ps.  Perii,  nunc  homo  in  medio  lutost; 

nomen  nescit,  haeret  haec  res. 

248 


PSEUDOLUS 

(aside)  He's  headed  straight  for  me.     I  wonder 
where  on  earth  the  fellow's  from. 
(to  Ballio)  I  say,  you,  standing  there  with  the  billy- 
goat  beard,  answer  me  this. 

(glaring)  Oh,  indeed !  And  no  "good-day  "  first,  eh  ? 
I  have  no  good  day  spareable. 

Gad  !     Then  you'll  find  me  equally  generous,  (turns 
anay  and  looks  in  his  door) 

(aside)  Here's  a  fine  first  round  to  start  with ! 
Know  anyone  in  this  alley,  do  you  ?     (Ballio pays  no 
attention)  I  am  asking  (very  loudly)  you. 
(over  his  shoulder)  I  know  myself. 
You  claim  knowledge  which  few  persons  possess. 
Why,  at  the  forum  you  can  find  hardly  one  man  in 
ten  who  knows  himself. 
(aside)  Saved !     Now  he's  philosophizing. 
I  am  looking  for  a  man  here,  a  bad  one,  a  law- 
breaker, foul,  faithless,  godless. 
(aside)  Hm !     It's  me  he's  looking  for,  those  being 
my  surnames.     Now  if  he'd  only  mention  my  other 
name,  (aloud)  What  is  the  other  name  of  this  man  ? 
Pimp  Ballio. 

Didn't  I  know  it  ?  (aloud)  I  am  the  person  you  look 
for,  myself,  young  fellow. 

(surveying  him  unappreciatively)  So  you  are  BalUo? 
I  certainly  am. 

Those  clothes  make  you  look  like  a  burglar. 
(dryly)  Yes,  if  you  spied  me  in  the  dark  you  prob- 
ably wouldn't  hold  me  up. 

My  master  wished  me  to  extend  his  cordial  greet- 
ings. Here,  take  this  letter;  he  ordered  me  to 
give  it  to  you.  (fumbles  about  for  it) 
Who's  the  man  that  ordered  you  } 
(aside,  observing  Simia's  almost  imperceptible  confusion) 
Oh,  Lord !  Now  he's  in  a  hole !  He  doesn't  know 
the  name!    We're  stuck! 

349 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.  Quern  hanc  misisse  ad  me  autiimas  ? 

Sim.        Nosce  imaginem  :  tute  eius  nomen  memorato  mihi, 

ut  sciam  te  Ballionem  esse  ipsum. 
Bal.  Cedo  mi  epistulam. 

Sim.       Accipe  et  cognosce  signum. 
Bal.  Oh,  Polymachaeroplagides 

purus  putus  est  ipsus.     novi.     heus,  Polymachaero- 
plagides 

nomen  est, 
Sim.  Scio  iam  me  recte  tibi  dedisse  epistulam,  990 

postquam   Polymachaeroplagidem   elocutus  nomen 
es. 
Bal.        Quid  agit  is  ? 
Sim.  Quod  homo  edepol  fortis  atque  bellator  probus. 

sed  propera  hanc  pellegere  quaeso  epistulam — ita 
negotium  est — 

atque    accipere    argentum    actutum    mulieremque 
emittere. 

nam   necessest   hodie   Sicyoni    me   esse   aut   eras 
mortem  exsequi, 

ita  erus  meus  est  imperiosus. 
Bal.  Novi,  notis  praedicas. 

Sim.       Propera  pellegere  epistulam  ergo. 
Bal.  Id  ago,  si  taceas  modo. 

*  miles  lenoni  BalHoni  epistulam 

conscriptam  mittit  Polymachaeroplagides, 

imagine  obsignatam  quae  inter  nos  duo  1000 

convenit  olim.'     sumbolust  in  epistula,^ 

1  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1002-1008 : 

video,  et  cognosco  signum.     sed  in  epistula 

nullam  salutem  mittere  scriptam  solet  f 
Sim.         Ita  militaris  disciplinast,  Ballio  : 

manu  salutem  mittunt  benevolentibus  ; 

eadem  malum  rem  mitlunt  malevolentibua. 

sed,  ut  occepisti,  perge  opera  experirier 

quid  epistula  ista  narret. 
Bal.  Ausculta  modo. 

350 


PSEUDOLUS 

(reaching  for  the  letter,  slightly  suspicious)  Who  sent 
me  this,  according  to  you  ? 

{holding  it  out  of  Ballio's  reach,  seal  toward  him)  See 
if  you  know  the  Ukeness.     Tell  me  his  name  your- 
self, so  as  to  prove  you  are  really  Ballio. 
Give  the  letter  here. 
Take  it  and  identify  the  seal. 

(aside,  after  a  glance)  Oho,  it's  Polymachaero- 
plagides  himself,  plain  as  a  pikestaflP!  I  know  him. 
(aloud)  Hey,  you!  His  name  is  Polymachaero- 
plagides. 

(relieved)  Ah,  I  see  I  did  right  in  giving  you  the 
letter,  now  that  you  have  come  out  with  the  name 
Polymachaeroplagides, 
And  what  is  he  doing  ? 

(giving  his  cloak  a  hitch)  Ha !     Deeds  that  befit  a 
gallant  gentleman  and  noble  warrior.      But  I  must 
ask  you  to  make  haste  and  read  this  letter  through 
— that  is  imperative — then  take  the  money  at  once 
and  turn  over  the  girl.     For  I  must  be  at  Sicyon 
to-day  or  submit  to  murder  to-morrow.     That  is 
my  master's  style,  peremptory. 
(wryly)  I  know ;   I  am  acquainted  with  him. 
Then  read  the  letter  without  wasting  time. 
(opening  it)  So  I  am,  if  you'd  only  shut  up.  (reading) 
"  Polymachaeroplagides,  warrior,  to  Ballio,  pimp, 
indites  and  sends  this  letter  sealed  with  the  Uke- 
ness before  agreed  upon  between  us  both."  (half 
aside)  The  token  is  on  the  letter.^  (reading)  "  'Tis 

*  Vv.  1002-1008:  I  see  and  recognize  the  seal.  But 
is  he  in  the  habit  of  sending  letters  that  bring  no  wish  for 
one's  well-being  ? 

'Tis  a  way  we  have  in  the  army,  Ballio.     "lis  the  sword  of  a 
soldier  brings  well-being  to  those  that  wish  him  well,  and  the 
selfsame  sword  brings  ill  to  those  that  wish  him  ill.     But  go 
on  and  finish,  test  for  yourself  the  contents  of  that  letter. 
Well  then,  listen. 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

'  Harpax  calator  meus  est,  ad  te  qui  venit — * 

tun  es  is  Harpax  ? 
Sim.  Ego  sum,  atque  ipse  apira^  quidem.   1010 

Bal.        '  Qui  epistulam  istam  fert ;  ab  eo  argentum  aecipi, 

cum  eo  simitu  mulierem  mitti  volo. 

salutem  scriptam  dignum  est  dignis  mittere : 

te  si  arbitrarem  dignum,  misissem  tibi.* 
Sim.        Quid  nunc  ? 

Bal.  Argentum  des,  abducas  mulierem. 

Sim.        Vter  remoratur  ? 

Bal.  Quin  sequere  ergo  intro. 

Sim.  Sequor. 

IV.  3. 

Ps.  Peiorem  ego  hominem  magisque  vorsute  malum 

numquam  edepol   quemquam  vidi,  quam  hie  est 

Simia ; 
nimisque   ego    ilium  hominem  metuo  et  formido 

male, 
ne  malus  item  erga  me  sit  ut  erga  ilium  fuit,  1020 

ne  in  re  secunda  nunc  mi  obvertat  cornua, 
si  occasionem  capsit  qui  sit  mihi  malus ; 
atque  edepol  equidem  nolo,  nam  ilh  bene  volo. 
nunc  in  metu  sum  maximo,  triplici  modo : 
primum  omnium  iam  hunc  comparem  metuo  meum, 
ne  deserat  med  atque  ad  hostis  transeat ; 
metuo  autem,  ne  erus  redeat  etiam  dum  a  foro, 
ne  capta  praeda  capti  praedones  fuant. 
quom    haec    metuo,  metuo   ne    ille   hue   Harpax 

advenat  1030 

prius  quam  hinc  hie  Harpax  abierit  cum  muliere. 
perii  hercle,  nimium  tarde  egrediuntur  foras. 
cor  conligatis  vasis  expectat  meum, 
si  non  educat  mulierem  secum  simul, 
ut  exulatum  ex  pectore  aufugiat  meo. 
victor  sum,  vici  cautos  custodes  meos. 

252 


PSEUDOLUS 

my  orderly,  Harpax,  who  comes  to  you "  {to 

Simia)  So  you're  this  Harpax  ? 

Sim.        I  am,  yes,  Harpyacts  in  person. 

Bal.  (reading)  "  and  bears  this  letter.  I  wish  you  to  re- 
ceive the  money  from  him,  and  with  him  send  along 
the  wench.  Tis  fitting  in  a  letter  to  send  good 
wishes  to  persons  they  befit :  I  had  sent  you  such, 
did  I  think  that  they  befitted  you." 

Sim.        (hiding  a  grin)  What  now  ? 

Bal.        (sourly)  Give  me  the  money,  take  the  girl. 

Sim.        Which  of  us  delays  things  ? 

Bal.        (going  toward  his  door)  Come,  follow  me  inside,  then. 

Sim.        I  follow.  [exeunt. 

Scene  3. 

Ps.  A  worse  and  wilier  rascal  than  this  Simia  I  never  did 
see  anywhere,  by  gad!  Lord!  The  fellow's  got 
me  scared!  I'm  frightfully  afraid*  he'll  try  his 
rascahty  on  me,  too,  the  same  as  on  him,  and  now 
that  things  are  going  well,  turn  his  horns  in  my 
direction,  if  he  gets  a  chance  to  play  me  some 
rascally  trick.  And,  gad,  I  certainly  don't  want 
that,  for  I  wish  the  man  well,  (anxiously  eyeing 
Ballio's  door)  Oh,  the  fearful  funk  I'm  in  now,  a 
triple  funk.  First  of  all,  I  fear  this  pal  of  mine's 
deserting  me  and  crossing  over  to  the  enemy.  Then 
too,  I  fear  master's  returning  from  the  forum  yet 
and  seizing  the  looters  with  the  loot  they've  seized. 
And  on  top  of  these  fears,  I  fear  that  other  Harpax 
will  get  here  before  this  Harpax  gets  out  of  here 
with  the  girl.  Oh,  damnation !  How  slow  they 
are  coming  out !  My  heart  has  its  luggage  tied, 
ready  to  fly  my  chest  for  foreign  parts,  if  he 
doesn't  bring  the  girl  along  with  him  !  (as  Simia  and 
Phoenicium  appear  in  the  doorway)  Victory !  I  have 
vanquished  my  wary  watchmen ! 

«53 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

IV.  4. 

Sim.        Ne  plora,  nescis  ut  res  sit,  Phoenicium, 

verum  baud  multo  post  faxo  scibis  accubans. 

non  ego  te  ad  ilium  duco  dentatum  virum  1040 

Macedoniensem,  qui  te  nunc  flentem  facit : 

cuiam  esse  te  vis  maxime,  ad  eum  ducere : 

Calidorum  baud  multo  post  faxo  amplexabere. 

Ps.  Quid  tu  intus  quaeso  desedisti  quam  diu  ? 

mibi  cor  retunsumst  oppugnando  pectore. 

Sim.        Occasionem  reppex'isti,  verbero, 

iibi  perconteris  me,  insidiis  hostilibus  ? 
quin  bine  metimur  gradibus  militariis  ? 

Ps.  Atque  edepol,  quamquam  nequam  bomo  es,  recte 

mones.  1050 

ite  bac  triumpbi  ad  cantbarum  recta  via. 

IV.  5. 

Bal.        Habae,  nunc  demum  mi  animus  in  tuto  est  loco, 
postquam  iste  bine  abiit  atque  abduxit  mulierem. 
iube  nunc  venire  Pseudolum,  scelerum  caput, 
et  abducere  a  me  mulierem  fallaciis. 
conceptis  bercle  verbis,  satis  certo  scio, 
ego  periurare  me  mavellem  miliens, 
quam  mi  ilium  verba  per  deridiculum  dare, 
nunc  deridebo  bercle  bominem,  si  convenero ; 
verum  in  pistrino  credo,  ut  convenit,  fore.  1060 

nunc  ego  Simonem  mi  obviam  veniat  velim, 
ut  mea  laetitia  laetus  promiscam  siet. 

IV.  6. 

Si.  Viso  quid  rerum  meus  Vlixes  egerit, 

iamne  habeat  siffnum  ex  arce  Ballionia. 


^  Who  took  the  Palladium  from  the  citadel  of  Troy. 
254 


PSEUDOLUS 

5cene  4.  enter  Simia,  and  Pkoenicium  in  tears. 

I.  (in  an  undertone)  Don't  cry.  You  don't  under- 
stand things,  Phoenicium,  but  I'll  see  you  do  a 
little  later  on  the  dining  couch.  I'm  not  taking 
you  to  that  sabre-toothed  Macedonian  hero  that's 
causing  these  tears  of  yours.  You're  going  to  the 
man  whose  you  most  want  to  be :  very  soon  I'll 
have  you  hugging  Calidorus. 

Lord,  man  !  \^Tiat  made  you  loll  around  in  there  so 
long  ?  My  heart  has  been  banging  my  chest  till  it's 
blunted. 

I.  {severely)  You  take  this  occasion,  hangdog,  to 
question  my  conduct,  with  the  enemy  all  about  us  ? 
Why  don't  we  step  it  out  of  here,  double  time  ? 
A  good  suggestion,  too,  by  gad,  even  though  it 
comes  from  a  bad  specimen,  {draws  Simia' s  sword 
and  heads  a  parade)  Forward,  march !  Straight  to 
the  tankard  of  victory !  [exeunt. 

?ne  5.  ENTER  Ballio  from  his  house. 

/.  {comfortably)  Ho,  ho,  hum  !  At  last  I  feel  secure 
now  that  chap's  gone  and  taken  the  girl  away. 
Now  tell  Pseudolus,  the  fount  of  iniquity,  to  come 
and  flimflam  me  out  of  her !  One  thing  I  know  for 
sure — I'd  rather  take  oath  in  solemn  terms,  by  gad, 
and  perjure  myself  a  thousand  times  than  be  that 
fellow's  fool  and  laughing-stock.  Now  the  laugh 
will  be  against  him,  by  gad,  once  I  meet  him — I 
trust  he'll  be  in  what  they  thought  his  meet  place, 
in  the  mill.  I  only  wish  I  could  come  across  Simo 
now,  to  let  him  share  the  joy  that  I'm  enjoying. 

Scene  6.  enter  Simo  from  the  forum. 

Si.  Now  to  see  what  my  Ulysses^  has  accomplished, 

whether  he  has  yet  got  the  image  from  the  Ballion- 

iau  citadeL 

*55 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Bal.        O  fortunate,  cedo  fortunatam  manum, 

Simo. 
Si.  Quid  est  ? 

Bal.  lam — 

Si.  Quid  iam  ? 

Bal.  Nihil  est  quod  metuas. 

Si.  Quid  est? 

venitne  homo  ad  te  ? 
Bal.  Non. 

Si.  Quid  est  igitur  boni  ? 

Bal.         Minae  viginti  sanae  et  salvae  sunt  tibi, 

hodie  quas  aps  te  est  instipulatus  Pseudolus. 
<St.  Vehm  quidem  hercle. 

Bal.  Roga  me  viginti  minas,  1070 

si  ille  hodie  ilia  sit  potitus  muliere 

sive  earn  tuo  gnato  hodie,.  ut  promisit,  dabit,^ 

omnibus  modis  tibi  esse  rem  ut  salvam  scias ; 

atque  etiam  habeto  mulierem  dono  tibi. 
Si.  Nullum  periclumst,  quod  sciam,  stipularier, 

ut  concepisti  verba :   viginti  minas 

dabin  ? 
Bal.  Dabuntur. 

Si.  Hoc  quidem  actumst  hau  male.^ 

quid    est?    quid  non  metuam  ab  eo?    id   audire 
expeto. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  1073  : 

roga  opsecro  hercle,  gesiio  promittere. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1079-1086  : 

sed  convenistin  hominem  ? 
Bal.  Immo  ambo  simul. 

Si.  Quid  ail?   quid  narrat?   quaeso,  quid  dixit  tibi? 

Bal.  Nugas  theatri,  verba  quae  in  comoediis 

Solent  lenoni  did,  quae  pueri  sciunt : 

malum  et  scelestum  et  peiurum  aibat  esse  me. 
Si.  Pol  hau  mentitust. 

Bal.  Ergo  haud  iratxis  fui  : 

nam  quanti  refert  ei  nee  recte  dicere, 

qui  nihilifaciat  quique  infitias  rum  eat  f 

256 


PSEUDOLUS 

{rushing  up)  Oh,  lucky  man !     Out  with  that  lucky 
hand,  Simo !  {seizing  it) 
What's  all  this  ? 

Now 

Now  what? 

You  have  nothing  to  fear. 

WTiat's  all  this  ?     Has  he  come  to  you  ? 

No. 

What's  the  good  news,  then? 

It's   safe   and   sound,   your   eighty   pounds   that 

Pseudolus  engaged  to  get  from  you  to-day. 

Egad !     I  only  wish  it  were. 

{supremely  confident)  Come,  make  formal  demand 

that  I  pay  you  eighty  pounds,  if  he  gets  hold  of  that 

girl  this  day  or  gives  her  to  your  son  this  day,  as  he 

agreed   to  do.'-      I  want   you  to   feel  absolutely 

assured  your  money's  safe.     Yes,  and  you  can  have 

the  girl  too  as  a  gift  for  yourself. 

There's  no  risk,  so  far  as  I  see,  in  taking  you  up  on 

the  terms  you've  set.  {formally)  You  will  pay  me 

eighty  pounds  ? 

I  will. 

{aside)  Not  such  a  bad  piece  of  work,  this.*  {aloud) 

But  what's  all  this?     Why  shouldn't  I  fear  him? 

I'm  eager  to  hear. 

*  V.  1073  :     Demand  it,  come  on,  demand  it :     I  yearn 
to  promise  it. 

»  Vv.  1079-1086  :     But  did  you  meet  the  feUow  ? 
Well,  both  of  'em  together. 

What  did  he  say?  What  was  his  story?  C!ome,  come, 
what  did  he  tell  you  ? 

Oh,  stage  patter,  the  regular  line  of  abuse  a  pimp  gets  in 
the  comedies,  stuff  boys  know :    told  me  I  was  vile  and 
villainous  and  perjured. 
Gad,  and  he  told  no  lie. 

Consequently  I  took  no  offence.  For  what's  the  good  of 
calling  a  man  hard  n  mes  when  he  doesn't  mind  'em  and 
doesn't  deny  'em  t 

«57 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Bal.        Quia  numquam  abducet  mulierem  iam,  nee  potest, 

a  me.     meministin  tibi  me  dudum  dicere, 

eam  veniisse  militi  Macedonio  ?  1090 

Si.  Memini. 

Bal.  Em  illius  servos  hue  ad  me  argentum  attulit 

et  obsignatum  sumbolum, 
Si.  Quid  postea  ? 

Bal.        Qui  inter  me  atque  ilium  militem  convenerat : 

is  secum  abduxit  mulierem  hau  multo  prius. 
Si.  Bonan  fide  istuc  dicis  ? 

Bal.  Vnde  ea  sit  milii  ? 

Si.  Vide  modo,  ne  illic  sit  contechnatus  quippiam. 

Bal.        Epistula  atque  imago  me  certum  facit ; 

quin  illam  ^  in  Sicyonem  ex  urbe  abduxit  modo. 
Si.  Bene  hercle  factum,     quid  ego  cesso  Pseudolum 

facere  ut  det  nomen  ad  molas  coloniam  ?  1100 

sed  quis  hie  homo  est  chlamydatus  ? 
Bal.  Non  edepol  scio. 

nisi  ut  observemus  quo  eat  aut  quam  rem  gerat. 

IV.  7. 

Har.        Malus  et  nequam  est  homo  qui  nihili  eri  imperium 

sui  servos  facit, 
nihilist  autem  suom  qui  officium  facere  immemor 

est,  nisi  est  admonitus. 
nam  qui  liberos  ^  ilico  se  arbitrantur, 
ex  conspectu  eri  si  sui  se  abdiderunt, 
luxantur,  lustrantur,  comedunt   quod  habent,  ei 

nomen  diu 
servitutis  ferunt. 

nee  boni  ingeni  quicquam  in  is  inest, 
nisi  ut  improbis  se  artibus  teneant.'  1110 

1  Leo  brackets  following  quidem  iam. 

2  Leo  brackets  following  esse. 

'  Corrupt  (Leo) :  nisi  ut  improbis  artibus  enileant  Leo. 

258 


PSEUDOLUS 

Bal.        Because  he  never  will,  and  never  can,  get  the  girl 

away  now  from  me.     You  remember  my  telling 

you  previously  that  she  was  sold  to  a  Macedonian 

soldier  ? 
Si.  I  remember. 

Bal.        Well  now,  his  slave  brought  me  the  money  and  the 

sealed  token 

Si.  (interrupting)  What  then  ? 

Bal.        That  the  soldier  and  I  had  agreed  on  :  (triumphantly) 

and  a  little  while  ago  he  took  the  girl  ofiF  with  him. 
Si.  You  tell  me  this  in  good  faith  ? 

Bal.        (grinning  happily)  Where  should  I  get  that  ? 
Si.  (a  bit  doubtful)  Just  be  sure  our  friend  hasn't  been 

up  to  some  art-work. 
Bal.        (easily)  Oh,  the  letter  and  Ukeness  are  absolutely 

convincing.     He  just  took  her  away  from  the  city 

to  Sicyon,  I  tell  you. 
Si.  (assured)  Well,  well !     Now  to  make  Pseudolus  sign 

up  at  once  as  an  emigrant  to  Millcolonia.  (glancing 

down  the  street)  But  who's  this  chap  in  the  miUtary 

cloak  ? 
Bal.        (looking)  Gad,  I  don't  know.  But  let's  watch  where 

he  goes,  or  what  he  does,     (draws  Simo  back) 

Scene  7.  enter  Harpax. 

Har.  (smugly)  A  useless  rascal  is  what  he  is,  the  fellow 
that's  a  slave  and  yet  makes  his  master's  orders  of 
no  account,  yes,  and  he's  a  no-account  fellow  him- 
self, that  forgets  to  do  his  duty  unless  he'sreminded. 
I  tell  you  what,  the  ones  that  think  they're  free  the 
minute  they've  got  out  from  under  their  master's 
eyes,  and  go  in  for  high-jinks  and  harlotry  and  con- 
simiing  all  they  have — it's  a  long  time  the  name  of 
slave '11  stick  to  them.  Not  a  single  good  trait  have 
they,  except  their  persistence  in  evil  ways.     Con- 

a59 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

cum  his  mihi  nee  locus 

nee  sermo  convenit  neque  is  umquam  nobilis  fui. 

ego,  ut  mi   imperatumst,  etsi   abest,  hie  adesse 

erum  arbitror. 
nunc  ego  ilium  metuo, 
quom  hie  non  adest,  ne  quom  adsiet  metuam.     ei 

rei  operam  dabo. 
nam  in  taberna  usque  adhuc,  si  veniret  Syrus, 
cui  dedi  sumbolum,  mansi,  uti  iusserat : 
leno  ubi  esset  domi,  me  aibat  arcessere ; 
verum  ubi  is  non  venit  nee  vocat, 
venio  hue  ultro,  ut  seiam  quid  rei  sit,  ne  illic  homo 

me  ludificetur.  1120 

neque  quicquamst  melius,   quam  ut  hoc  pultem 

atque  aliquem  evocem  hinc  intus. 
leno  argentum  hoc  volo 

a   me   aecipiat   atque   amittat   muUerem   mecum 
simul. 
Bal.        Heus  tu. 
Si,  Quid  vis  ? 

Bal.  Hie  homo  meus  est. 

Si.  Quidum  ? 

Bal.  Quia  praeda  haee  meast : 

scortum  quaerit,  habet  argentum.     iam  admordere 
hunc  mihi  lubet. 
Si.  lamne  ilium  eomessurus  es  ? 

Bal.  Dum  recens  est 

dator,  dum  calet,  devorari  deeet  iam. 
boni  me  viri  pauperant,  improbi  augent; 
poplo  strenui,  mi  improbi  usui  sunt. 
Si.  Malum  quod  tibi  dabunt,  sic  scelestu's.  1130 

Har.        Me  nunc  commoror,  quom  has  foris  non  ferio,  ut 

sciam,  sitne  Ballio  domi. 
Bal.        Venus  mi  haec  bona  dat,  quom  hos  hue  adigit 

260 


PSEUDOLUS 

sorting  or  talking  with  such  chaps  I  don't  approve 
of,  and  I  never  made  their  acquaintance.  Person- 
ally, I  do  what  I'm  told,  and  think  my  master's 
about  even  when  he's  away.  I  fear  him  now  when 
he's  not  about,  so  as  not  to  fear  him  when  he  is 
about,  (glancing  at  his  irallef)  This  job  must  be 
attended  to.  I  followed  instructions  and  stayed 
at  the  inn  all  this  time  expecting  that  Syrus  I  gave 
the  token  to.  Said  he'd  simnmon  me  when  the 
pimp  was  at  home.  But  now  that  he  neither  came 
nor  called  me,  I've  come  here  uncalled  to  find  out 
what  the  matter  is  and  not  let  that  fellow  make  a 
fool  of  me.  {surveying  Ballio's  house)  Well,  there's 
nothing  better  than  to  knock  at  the  door  and  call 
someone  out  from  inside  here.  I  want  the  pimp  to 
take  this  money  from  me  and  tell  the  girl  to  go 
along  vnth  me. 

(aside  to  Simo,  eagerly)  Hey,  you ! 
\\Tiat  d'ye  want .'' 
This  man  is  mine. 
Ah  ?     How  so  ? 

Because  he's  game  for  me.  He's  after  a  wench,  he 
has  money.  Oh,  I  long  to  set  my  teeth  in  him  at 
once. 

Eh  ?  You'll  eat  that  fellow  up  at  once  ? 
Yes,  you  should  swallow  a  spender  at  once,  while 
he's  fresh,  while  he's  hot.  Good  men  make  me 
j)oor,  the  worthless  fat;  your  brisk  fellows  have 
their  public  use,  but  it's  the  worthless  I  find  useful. 
And  hard  use  you'll  get  from  the  gods,  scoxmdrel 
that  you  are. 

I'm  wasting  time  now,  not  knocking  at  this  door  to 
find  out  if  Ballio's  home,  (steps  up  to  the  house) 
(aside  to  Simo,  rvith  a  smirk)  It's  Venus  grants  me 
these  blessings,  dri\ing  up  such  gainshunners,  loss- 

261 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

lucrifugas,  damnicupidos,  qui  se  suamque  aetatem 

bene  curant, 
edunt,  bibunt,  scortantur:    illi  sunt    alio    ingenio 

atque  tu, 
qui  neque  tibi  bene  esse  patere  at  illis  quibus  est 
invides. 
Har.        Heus  ubi  estis  vos  ? 

Bnl.  Hie  quidem  ad  me  recta  habet  rectam  viam.^ 

bene    ego    ab    hoc    praedatus    ibo ;     novi,    bona 
scaevast  mihi. 
Har.        Ecquis  hoc  aperit  ? 

Bal.  Heus  chlamydate,  quid  istic  debetur  tibi  ? 

Har.        Aedium  dominuni  lenonem  Ballionem  quaerito.  1140 

Bal.         Quisquis    es,    adulescens,    operam    fac    compendi 

quaerere. 
Har.        Quid  iam? 
Bal.  Quia    tute    ipsus    ipsum    praesens    praesentem 

vidcs. 
Har.       Tune  is  es  ? 
Si.  Chlamydate,  cave  sis  tibi  a  curvo  infortunio 

atque  in  hunc  intende  digitum :   hie  leno  est. 
Bal.  At  hie  est  vir  bonus, 

sed,  tu,  bone  vir,  flagitare  saepe  clamore  in  foro, 
quom  libella  nusquamst,  nisi  quid  leno  hie  subvenit 
tibi. 
Har.       Quin  tu  mecum  fabulare  ? 

Bal.  Fabulor.     quid  vis  tibi  ? 

Har.        Argentum  accipias. 
Bal.  lamdudum,  si  des,  porrexi  manum. 

*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  1137  : 
Har.         Heus  ubi  estis  vos  ? 
Bal.  Heus  adulescens,  quid  istic  debetur  tibi? 

1  V.  1137: 
Har.         (knocking)  Hullo  !     Where  are  you  ? 
Bal.  Hullo,  young  fellow  !     What  are  you  after  there  ? 

262 


PSEUDOLUS 

lovers,  that  see  they  get  a  good  time  out  of  life,  and 
eat  and  drink  and  wench,  {halefullt/)  They're  a 
different  sort  from  you,  that  won't  give  yourself  a 
good  time,  yet  envy  those  that  do.  {leaves  Simo  and 
steps  out) 

(knocking)  Hullo !  Where  are  you  ? 
(aside,  gloating)  Aha !  He's  coming  straight  to  me, 
straight  to  me  !  ^  I'll  loot  him  well  before  we  part ; 
I  know  it,  my  omens  are  good,  (advances) 
(knocking  again)  Open  up  here,  someone,  will  you? 
(aloud)  Hullo,  you  in  the  cloak!  What  are  you 
after  there? 

(turning)  I  am  looking  for  the  master  of  the  house, 
pimp  Ballio. 

WTioever  you  are,  young  fellow,  save  yourself  the 
search. 
Why  so? 

Because  you're  here  and  he's  here  and  you  see  him. 
(Simo  saunters  up  rvith  dignity) 
(to  Simo,  innocently)  Are  you  Ballio  ? 
(affronted)  You  there  in  the  cloak,  just  you  look  out 
for  trouble,  (shaking  his  stick)  crooked  trouble.  He's 
the  man  (indicating  Ballio)  to  point  the  finger  of 
scorn  at :  he's  the  pimp. 

(sarcastically,  with  a  nod  toward  Simo)  WTiile  he's  the 
good  man.  But  it's  you,  good  man,  that  get 
dunned  in  the  forum  loud  and  often,  and  can't 
find  a  sou,  unless  this  same  pimp  comes  to  your 
rescue. 

(impatient)  Why  not  do  your  talking  with  me  ? 
(leaving  Simo,  who  himself  withdraws  a  bit)  I  am. 
What  do  you  want  ? 

(holding  out  the  wallet)  Take  the  money. 
(reaching  for  it)  I  had  my  hand  out  long  ago,  wait- 
ing for  it. 

263 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Har.        Aceipe  :  hie  sunt  quinque  argenti  lectae  numeratae 
minae. 

hoc  tibi  erus  me  iussit  ferre  Polymachaeroplagides,  1150 

quod   deberet,  atque    ut  mecum   mitteres    Phoe- 
nicium. 
Bal.        Erus  tuos — 
Har.  Ita  dico. 

Bal.  Miles — 

Har.  Ita  loquor, 

Bal.  Macedonius — 

Har.       Admodum,  inquam. 

Bal.  Te  ad  nie  misit  Polymachaeroplagides  ? 

Har.        Vera  memoras. 

Bal.  Hoc  argentum  ut  mihi  dares? 

Har.  Si  tu  quidem  es 

leno  BalHo. 
Bal.  Atque  ut  a  me  mulierem  tu  abduceres  ? 

Har.       Ita. 

Bal.  Phoenicium  esse  dixit  ? 

Har.  Recte  meministi. 

Bal.  Mane. 

iam  redeo  ad  te. 
Har.  At  maturate  propera,  nam  propero  :  vides 

iam  diem  nmltum  esse. 
Bal.  Video  :  hunc  advocare  etiam  volo ; 

mane  modo  istic,  iam  revertar  ad  te.     quid  nunc 
fit,  Simo  ? 

quid  agimus  ?  nianufesto  hunc  hominem  teneo,  qui 
argentum  attulit.  1160 

Si.  Quidum  ? 

Bal.  An  nescis  quae  sit  haec  res  ? 

Si.  luxta  cum  ignarissimis. 

Bal.         Pseudolus  tuos  allegavit  hunc,  quasi  a  Macedonio 

mihte  esset. 
Si.  Haben  argentum  ab  homine? 

264 


PSEUDOLUS 

Take  it.  Here  is  twenty  pounds  counted  out  in 
honest  coin.  I  was  to  bring  this  to  you,  the  sum  he 
owed,  so  my  master  Polymachaeroplagides  said, 
and  you  were  to  send  Phoenicium  away  with  me. 

(blankly)  Your  master 

Exactly. 

The  soldier 

Precisely. 

The  Macedonian 


lar.       Certainly,  quite  so. 

You  were  sent  to  me  by  Poljinachaeroplagides  ? 
Jar.       Correct. 

To  give  me  this  money  ? 

If  you  are  really  Ballio  the  pimp. 

And  you  were  to  get  a  girl  from  me  ? 

Just  so. 

Phoenicium,  he  said  it  was  ? 

Your  memory  serves  you. 

{seeing  a  great  light)  Wait !   (going  toward  Simo)  111 

soon  be  back. 

But  hurry  fast,  for  I  am  in  a  hurry :  you  see  how  late 

it  is  already. 
tal.        (over  his  shoulder)  I  see.     I  only  want  a  little  advice 

from  him.   (indicating  Simo)  Just  you  wait  there : 

I'll  soon  rejoin  you.  (aside  to  Simo,  elated)  What 

now,  Simo  ?     WTiat  next  ?     I've  caught  him  in  the 

act,  this  chap  that  brought  the  money. 

How's  that  ? 

(superior)  So  you  don't  see  through  all  this  ? 

No  better  than  a  blind  man. 

Your    Pseudolus    has    deputed    him  to  play  the 

Macedonian  soldier's  man. 

(interested)  Have  you  got  the  fellow's  money? 


265 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.  Rogitas  quod  vides? 

Si.  Heus,  memento    ergo    dimidium   istinc    mihi    de 

praeda  dare : 
commune  istuc  esse  oportet. 
Bal.  Quid,  malum  ?    id  totimi  tuom  est. 

Hot.       Quam  mox  mi  operam  das  ? 

Bal,  Tibi  do  equidem.   quid  nunc  mi  es  auctor,  Simo  ? 

Si.  Exploratorem  hunc  faciamus  ludos  suppositicium, 

adeo  donicum  ipsus  sese  ludos  fieri  senserit. 
Bal.        Sequere.     quid  ais  ?   nempe  tu  illius  servos  es  ? 
Har.  Planissurfte. 

Bal.        Quanti  te  emit  ? 

Har.  Suarum  in  pugna  virium  victoria.  1170 

nam  ego  eram  domi  imperator  summus  in  patria 

mea. 
Bal.        An    etiam    umquam    ille    expugnavit    carcerem, 

patriam  tuam? 
Har.       G^ntumeliam  si  dices,  audies. 
Bal.  Quotumo  die 

ex  Sicyone  hue  pervenisti  ? 
Har.  Altero  ad  meridie. 

Bal.        Strenue  mehercle  iisti. 

Si.  Quamvis  pernix  hie  est  homo : 

ubi  suram  aspicias,  scias  posse  eum — gerere  crassas 

compedes. 
Bal.        Quid  ais?    tune  etiam  cubitare  solitu's    in  cunis 

puer  ? 
Si.  Scihcet. 

Bal.  Etiamne  facere  solitus  es — scin  quid  loquar  ? 

Si.  Scilicet  solitum  esse. 

Har.  Sanine  estis? 

266 


PSEUDOLUS 

You  have  eyes  and  ask  that?  (dangling  the  tvalld) 

I  say,  just  you  remember,  then,  to  let  me  have  half 

that  loot :  it  should  be  shared. 

What  the  deuce?     It's  all  yours. 

{calling  to  Ballio  impatiently)  How  soon  do  I  get  your 

attention  ? 

{casually)  You're  getting  it  this  minute,  {aside  to 

Simo)  What  do  you  recommend  now,  Simo  ? 

Let's  have  some  fun  with  this  counterfeit  scout,  till 

he  sees  for  himself  how  funny  he  is. 

Come  along,  {to  Harpax  derisively,  as  they  both  join 

him)  Well  now  ?     So  you're  the  soldier's  slave,  are 

you? 

Ob\iously. 

What  did  he  pay  for  you  ? 

{haughtily)  The  price  of  his  valour  and  victory  in 

combat.     For  'twas  I  commanded  all  the  forces 

where  I  came  from. 

Eh  ?  What  ?     Did  he  ever  storm  the  lock-up  where 

you  came  from  ? 

{sternly)  If  you  speak  abusively,  you  shall  hear 

abuse. 

How  many  days  did  it  take  you  to  come  from 

Sicyon  ? 

One  and  a  half. 

My  word!  You  are  a  brisk  traveller. 

{to  Ballio)  Oh,  he's  a  nimble  chap,  very  nimble.    A 

look  at  his  calves  would  show  you  he  can — wear 

fine  big  fetters. 

I  say !    Tell  me,  when  you  were  a  boy  did  you  use 

to  Ue  in  a  cradle  ? 

Of  course. 

And  tell  me,  did  you  use  to — ^you  know  what? 

Of  course  he  did. 

Are  you  men  crazy  ? 

367 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.  Quid  hoc  quod  te  rogo  ? 

noctu  in  vigiliam  quando  ibat  miles,  quom  tu  ibas 
siniul,  1180 

conveniebatne  in  vaginam  tuam  machaera  itiilitis  ? 
Har.        I  in  malam  crucem. 

Bal.  Ire  licebit  tamen  tibi  hodie  temperi. 

Har.        Quin  tu  mulierem  mi  emittis,  aut  redde  argentum. 
Bal.  Mane. 

Har.        Quid  maneam  ? 

Bal.  Chlamydem  banc  commemora  quanti  conductast. 

Har.  Quid  est  ? 

Si.  Quid  meret  machaera  ? 

Har.  Elleborum  hisce  hominibus  opus  est. 

Bal.  Eho, 

Har.        Mitte. 

Bal.  Quid  mercedis  petasus  hodie  domino  demeret  ? 

Har.       Quid  domino  ?  quid  somniatis  ?  mea  quidem  haec 
habeo  omnia, 

meo  peculio  empta. 
Bal.  Nempe  quod  femina  summa  sustinent. 

Har,        Vncti  hi  sunt  senes,  fricari  sese  ex  antique  volunt.    1190 
Bal.        Responde,  opsecro  hercle,  vero  serio  hoc  quod  te 
rogo : 

quid  meres  ?  quantillo  argento  te  conduxit  Pseu- 
dolus  ? 
Har.       Quis  istic  Pseudolust  ? 
Bal.  Praeceptor  tuos,  qui  te  banc  fallaciam 

docuit,  ut  fallaciis  bine  mulierem  a  me  abduceres. 
Har.        Quem    tu    Pseudolum,    quas    tu    mihi    praedicas 
fallacias  ? 

quem  ego  hominem  ^  nuUius  coloris  novi. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo). 


268 


PSEUDOLUS 

And  answer  me  this  question.     At  night  when  the 

warrior  went  on  guard  and  you  went  along  with 

him,  was  his  blade  a  good  fit  for  your  scabbard  ? 

(angrily)  You  be  hanged ! 

A  likely  outcome — for  you,  that  is,  and  in  due  time 

to-day. 

Here  you,  send  the  girl  out  to  me  or  else  return  the 

money. 

Wait,  {fingering  Harpax'  cloak) 

Why  should  I  wait.'' 

This  cloak — come,  tell  us  how  much  it  cost  to  hire  ? 

(jmszled)  What  do  you  mean  ? 

(examining  the  kilt  of  Harpax'  sword)  What's  the 

charge  for  borrowing  this  blade  ? 

(half  aside)  These  men  need  a  dose  of  hellebore. 

Oh,  la !  (reaching  for  Harpax'  hat) 

(drawing  back)  Let  go  ! 

And  how  much  money  does  the  travelling  hat  make 

to-day  for  its  owner  ? 

What?     Owner?     What   are   you   two  dreaming 

about  ?     All  these  things  I  have  are  mine,  mine, 

paid  for  out  of  my  personal  property. 

Situated  above  your  upper  thighs,  I  take  it. 

(gathering   himself  together  for   action)  These    old 

codgers  are  all  oiled  and  want  a  good  old-fashioned 

rub-down. 

(getting  at  a  safer  distance  and  dropping  his  levity) 

Come  now,  for  heaven's  sake,  do  answer  me  this 

question  in  sober  earnest.     WTiat  do  you  earn? 

How  little  did  Pseudolus  hire  you  for  ? 

Pseudolus  ?     Who  is  he  ? 

Your  tutor  that  primed  you  for  this  trick,  to  get 

the  girl  away  from  me  with  your  trickery. 

What  Pseudolus  ?     What  trickery  are  you  talking 

about  ?    There  is  no  such  man  aUve  I  know, 

369 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bal.  Non  tu  istinc  abis  ? 

nihil  est  hodie  hie  sucophantis  quaestus :    proin  tu 

Pseudolo 
nunties  abduxisse  alium  praedam,  qui  occurrit  prior 
Harpax. 
Har.  Is  quidem  edepol  Harpax  ego  sum. 

Bal.  Immo  edepol  esse  vis. 

purus  putus  hie  sucophanta  est. 
Har.  Ego  tibi  argentum  dedi  1200 

et  dudum,  adveniens  extemplo,   sumbolum  servo 

tuo, 
eri     imagine    obsignatam     epistulam,    hie     ante 
ostium. 
Bal.        Meo  tu  epistulam  dedisti  servo?  quoi  sei*vo? 
Har.  Suro. 

Bal.        Non   confidit  sycophanta  hie  ^    nugis  :    meditatus 
malest.^ 
nam  illam  epistulam  ipsus  verus  Hai-pax  hue  ad  me 
attulit. 
Har.        Harpax    ego    vocor,    ego    servos    sum    Macedonis 

militis ;  1210 

ego  nee  sycophantiose  quicquam  ago  nee  malefice, 
neque  istum  Pseudolum  mortalis  qui  sit  novi  neque 
scio. 
Si.  Tu,  nisi  mirumst,  leno,  plane,  perdidisti  mulierem. 

Bal.        Edepol    ne   istue  magis  magisque    metuo,  quom 
verba  audio, 
mihi  quoque  edepol  iamdudum  ille  Surus  cor  per- 

frigefacit, 
sumbolum    qui    ab    hoc    accepit.     mira   sunt    ni 
Pseudolust. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  veqvam  est. 

2  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  1205-1207  : 
edepol  hominem  verberonem  Pseudolum,  ut  docie  dolum 
commentust :  iantundem  argenti  quantum  miles  dehuit 
dedit  huic  atque  hominem  exornavit,  mulierem  qui  abduceret. 
270 


PSEUDOLUS 

(threatemngly)  Get  out  of  here,  will  you !  There 
are  no  pickings  here  to-day  for  swindlers.  So  you 
just  report  to  Pseudolus  that  another  party  has 
taken  off  the  plunder,  a  Harpax  that  got  here  first. 
Heavens,  man,  but  I  am  this  Harpax  myself! 
{mockingly)  Heavens,  man,  you  merely  want  to  be. 
(to  Simo)  He's  a  swindler  pure  and  simple. 
(jirmltf)  I  gave  you  the  money,  and  in  front  of  this 
very  door  a  while  ago,  when  I  first  arrived,  I  gave 
your  servant  the  token,  a  letter  sealed  with  the 
likeness  of  my  master. 

(startled)  You  gave  a  letter  to  my  slave.''     What 
slave  ? 
Surus. 

(to  Simo,  trying  to  seem  undisturbed)  This  swindler 
doesn't  rely  on  nonsense ;  he  has  made  a  bad 
move.^  For  that  letter  was  brought  here  to  me 
by  the  real  Harpax  in  person, 
(nith  indignant  vigour)  My  name  is  Harpax ;  the 
NIacedonian  soldier  is  my  master.  There  is  neither 
swindlering  nor  impropriety  in  any  act  of  (rvith 
special  emphasis)  mine.  And  who  on  earth  that 
Pseudolus  is  I  do  not  know  and  have  no  notion. 
(impartially)  Well,  pimp,  it'll  be  a  wonder  if  you 
haven't  lost  your  girl  for  good. 
(in  distress)  Oh,  Lord !  That's  j ust  what  I 'm  getting 
worse  and  worse  afraid  of,  when  I  hear  him.  Oh, 
Lord !  That  Surus  frigidified  my  heart,  too,  a 
while  ago,  that  Surus  who  got  the  token  from  him. 
It's  a  wonder  if  it  isn't  Pseudolus.  (to  Harpax)  Hi, 

1  Vv.  1206-1207 :  Gad !  That  whipping-poat  of  a 
Pseudolus !  How  cleverly  he  contrived  this  scheme ! 
Gave  this  chap  just  the  sum  the  soldier  owed  and  fitted  him 
out  to  carry  off  the  girl. 


«7i 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

eho  tu,  qua  facie  fuit,  dudum  quoi  dedisti  sum- 
bolum  ? 
Har.        Rufus  quidam,  ventriosus,  crassis  suris,  subniger, 
magno    capite,    acutis  oculis,  ore    rubicundo,  ad- 

modum 
magnis  pedibus. 
Bal.  Perdidisti,  postquam  dixisti  pedes.  1220    | 

Pseudolus  fuit  ipsus.    actumst  de  me.    iam  morior, 
Simo. 
Har.       Hercle  te  hau  sinam  emoriri,  nisi    mi  argentum 
redditur, 
viginti  minae. 
jS«.  Atque  etiam  mihi  aliae  viginti  minae. 

Bal.        Auferen  tu  id  praemium  a  me,  quod  promisi  per 

iocum  ? 
Si.  De  improbis  viris  auferri  praemium   et  praedam 

decet. 
Bal.        Saltern  Pseudolum  mihi  dedas. 
Si.  Pseudolum  ego  dedam  tibi  ? 

quid    deliquit?     dixin,    ab    eo    tibi    ut    caveres, 
centiens .'' 
Bal.        Perdidit  me. 

Si.  At  me  viginti  modicis  multavit  minis. 

Bal.        Quid  nunc  faciam  ? 

Har.  Si  mi  argentum  dederis,  te  suspendito. 

Bal.         Di  te  perdant.     sequere  sis  me  ergo  hac  ad  forum, 

ut  solvam. 
Har.  Sequor.  1230 

Si.  Quid  ego?  | 

Bal.  Peregrinos  absolvam,  eras  agam  cum  civibus. 

Pseudolus  mihi  centuriata  habuit  capitis  comitia, 


^  The  Comitia  Centuriata  served  as  a  court  of  appeal  in 
capital  cases. 

272 


PSEUDOLUS 

you !  What  did  he  look  hke,  that  fellow  you  gave 
the  token  to  some  time  ago  ? 

{thinking)  A  red-haired  chap  .  .  .  pot  belly  .  .  . 
thick  calves  .  .  .  swarthy  .  .  .  big  head  .  .  . 
sharp  eyes  .  .  .  ruddy  face  .  .  .  and  tre- 
mendous feet. 

(in  despair)  Oh,  you've  wrecked  me,  with  that  word 
"  feet  "  !  It  was  Pseudolus  himself!  It's  all  over ! 
I'm  a  dying  man,  Simo ! 

{half  dratving  his  sword)  By  the  Lord,  I'll  not  let  you 
die  entirely,  unless  I  get  the  money  back,  eighty 
pounds  of  it ! 

{lifting  his  stick)  Yes,  and  I  too,  another  eighty 
pounds ! 

{agonized)  You'll  take  that,  plunder  me  of  what  I 
promised  as  a  joke  ? 

Plundering  reprobates  and  taking  their  pillage  is  a 
moral  obligation, 

{savagely)  At  least,  hand  over  Pseudolus  to  me. 
I  hand  Pseudolus  over  to  you  ?     What  harm  has  he 
done  ?     Didn't  I  tell  you  a  hundred  times  to  look 
out  for  him  ? 
He  has  ruined  me ! 

Well,  he  has  mulcted  me  of  a  modest  eighty  pounds. 
Oh,  what  shall  I  do  now  ? 

After  giving  me  my  money,  you  can  go  hang  your- 
self. 

Ugh !  Heaven  ruin  you !  {pauses,  then  sullenly) 
Come,  kindly  follow  me  to  the  forum,  then,  and  I'll 
settle  up. 

{rdth  emphasis)  Follow  you  I  will. 
What  about  me  ? 

{gruffly)  Aliens'  cases  settled  to-day,  citizens' 
to-morrow,  {half  to  himself)  Oh,  it  was  a  death  ^ 
sentence  Pseudolus  secured  against  me,  deputing 

273 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

qui  ilium    ad    me  hodie    adlegavit,  mulierem  qui 

abduceret. 
sequere  tu.     nunc  ne  expectetis,  dum  hac  domum 

redeam  via ; 
ita  res  gestast :   angiporta  haec  certum  est  consec- 
tarier. 
Har.       Si  graderere  tantum  quantum  loquere,  iam  esses 

ad  forum. 
Bal.        Certumst  mi  hunc  emortualem  facere  ex  natali  die. 

IV.  8. 

Si.  Bene  ego  ilium  tetigi,  bene  autem  servos  inimicum 

suom. 

nunc  mihi  certum  est  alio  pacto  Pseudolo  insidias 
dare, 

quam  in  aliis  comoediis  fit,  ubi  cum  stiraulis  aut 
flagris  1240 

insidiantur :  at  ego  iam  intus  promam  viginti 
minas, 

quas  promisi  si  efFecisset ;  obviam  ei  ultro  deferam. 

nimis  illic  mortalis  doctus,  nimis  vorsutus,  nimis 
malus ; 

superavit  dolum  Troianum  atque  Vlixem  Pseudolus. 

nunc  ibo  intro,  argentum  promam,  Pseudolo  in- 
sidias dabo. 


ACTVS     V 

Ps.  Quid  hoc  ?   sicine  hoc  fit,  pedes  ?     statin  an  non  ? 

an  id  voltis,  ut  me  hinc  iacentem  aliquis  toUat  ? 
nam  hercle  si  cecidero,  vestrum  erit  flagitium. 
pergitin  pergere  ?   ah,  serviendum  mihi 

274 


PSEUDOLUS 

that  fellow  to  come  to  me  to-day  and  take  off  the 
girl,  (to  Harpax)  Follow  me,  you.  (to  the  audience, 
gloomily)  You  needn't  wait  for  me  to  return  home 
by  this  street.  Under  the  circumstances,  I  have 
decided  to  take  to  the  back  alleys. 

Har.  (giving  him  a  shove)  If  you  walked  at  the  rate  you 
talk,  you  would  be  at  the  forum  already. 

Bal.  I  have  decided  to  make  this  my  death-day  instead 
of  my  birthday.  [exeunt. 

Scene  8. 

Si.  (chuckling)  That  was  a  beauty  I  gave  him,  and 

wasn't  it  a  beauty  my  slave  landed  on  his  enemy ! 
Now  I  have  decided  to  he  in  wait  for  Pseudolus  in 
another  style  than  you  see  in  other  comedies  where 
they  do  their  waiting  with  clubs  or  whips.  But  I — 
in  I  go  this  instant  to  produce  the  eighty  pounds  I 
promised,  if  he  accomplished  this;  I'll  bring  it 
straight  to  him  unasked.  What  a  fellow  he  is — 
so  clever,  so  shifty,  so  damned  artful!  Ulysses 
and  that  Trojan  dodge  are  quite  outclassed  by 
Pseudolus.  Well,  I'll  go  in,  produce  the  cash,  and 
lie  in  wait  for  the  Uar.  [exit. 


ACT   V 
(Several  hours  later.) 

enter  Pseudolus,  trNSTEADY  AND 

dishevelled,  wearing  a  garland. 

Pt.  (resentfully)  What's  this?  Is  this  the  .  .  .  way 
to  act,  feet  ?  You  standing  or  .  .  .  not  ?  Want 
someone  to  find  me  .  .  .  lying  here,  do  you,  and 
carry  me  off?     Now  mark  my   words,  if  I   fall 

275 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

hodie  est ;  magnum  hoc  vitium  vino  est :  1250 

pedes  captat  primum,  luctator  dolosust. 

profecto  edepol  ego  nunc  probe  habeo  madulsam : 

ita   victu    excurato,  ita  magnis   munditiis    et   dis 

dignis, 
itaque  in  loco  festivo  sumus  festive  accepti. 
quid  opust  me  multas  agere  ambages  ?  hoc 
est  homini  quam  ob  rem  vitam  amet, 
hie  omnes    voluptates,  in   hoc   omnes  venustates 

sunt : 
deis  proximum  esse  arbitror. 
nam  ubi  amans  complexust  amantem,  ubi  ad  labra 

labella  adiungit, 
ubi  alter  alterum  bilingui  manifesto  inter  se  pre- 

hendunt,  1260 

ubi  mammam  mammicula  opprimit  aut,   si   lubet, 

corpora  conduplicantur, 
manu   Candida    cantharum    dulciferum    propinat 

amicissima  amico : 
ibi  iam  neque  esse  alium  alii  odiosum 
nee  molestum  nee  sermonibus  morologis  uti, 
unguenta  atque  odores,  lemniscos,  corollas 
dari  dapsiles,  non  enim  parce  promi, 
victum  ceterum  ne  quis  me  roget : 
hoc  ego  modo  atque  erus  minor  hunc  diem  sump- 

simus  pro  thyme, 
postquam  opus  meiun  omne   ut    volui  perpetravi 

hostibus  fugatis.  1270 

illos  accubantis,  potantis,  amantis 
cum  scortis  reliqui,  et  meum  scortum  ibidem, 
suo  cordi  atque  animo  opsequentes.     sed  postquam 
exurrexi,  orant  med  ut  saltem. 
ad  hunc  me  modum  intuU  ilUs  satis  facete, 


276 


PSEUDOLUS 

down,  then  .  .  .  shame  on  you !  {lurching  badly) 
Going  to  ...  go  on,  are  you  ?  {recovering  himself) 
There !  You've  got  to  .  .  .  mind  my  orders  to- 
day, {to  the  audience,  sagely)  The  one  big  trouble 
with  wine  is  it  .  .  .  catches  you  by  the  .  .  .  feet 
first,  it's  a  .  .  .  wTCstler,  wily  one.  {ecstatically) 
Lord,  Lord !  If  I'm  not  having  just  the  lovehest 
.  .  .  boozywoozy.  Such  exquisite  things  to  eat, 
such  .  .  .  elegance,  tiptop,  fit  for  the  gods,  such  a 
jolly  place,  such  .  .  .  jolly  party  they  did  give  us ! 
But  what's  the  use  ofa  lot  of  .  .  .  circumlocutions? 
This  is  what  makes  a  .  .  .  man  love  life,  here's 
everything  to  .  .  .  cheer  you,  here's  everything 
to  charm  you.  I  think  it's  .  .  .  next  to  the  gods. 
Ah,  when  a  .  .  .  lover's  hugging  the  girl  he  loves, 
when  her  little  .  .  .  Hps  are  fixed  to  his  lips,  when 
they  catch  each  other  with  .  .  .  double  tongues 
clear  as  can  be,  when  breast  and  .  .  .  breastlet 
are  pressed  togeth»er,  or  if  they  .  .  .  hke,  they 
turn  two-bodied  .  .  .  dearest  girUe  with  her  white 
hand  gives  a  drink  from  the  .  .  .  melhferous 
tankard  to  her  dear  boy — ah,  no  folks  boring  each 
other  .  .  .  there,  no  annoying,  no  driveUing  talk 
.  .  .  unguents,  perfumes,  ribbons,  chaplets  pro- 
vided in  .  .  .  profusion,  no  stingy  servings — no 
one  to  ask  me  .  .  .  rest  of  the  food.  This  is  how 
I  and  young  master  spent  this  day,  in  complete 
.  .  .  felicity,  after  my  job  was  all  wound  up  to  suit 
me,  and  the  enemy  .  .  .  put  to  flight.  I  left  'em 
lying  there  .  .  .  drinking,  loving,  with  their 
hussies,  and  my  own  .  ,  .  hussy,  too,  having  just 
the  nice  sort  of  time  they  .  .  .  liked  best.  After 
I  was  on  my  .  .  .  feet,  though,  they  begged  me  to 
.  .  .  dance.  Did  some  rather  .  .  .  frisky  Uttle 
movements  for  'em,  this  fashion,  {illustrating)  that 

277 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nimis  ex  discipulina,  quippe  ego  qui 

probe  lonica  perdidici.     sed  palliolatim  amictus 

sic  haec  incessi  ludibundus. 

plaudunt  et  '  parum  '  clamitant  mi,  ut  revertar. 

oceepi  denuo,  hoc  modo  :   nolui 

idem  ;   amicae  dabam  me  meae, 

ut  me  amaret :  ubi  circumvortor,  cado : 

id  fuit  naenia  ludo. 

itaque    dum    enitor,    prox,   iam    paene    inquinavi 

pallium, 
nimiae  tum  voluptati  edepol 

fui  ob  casum.     datur  cantharus  :  bibi.  1280a 

commuto  ilico  pallium,  illud  posivi ; 
inde  hue  exii,  crapulam  diun  amoverem. 
nunc  ab  ero  ad  erum  meum  maiorem  venio  foedus 

commemoratum. 
aperite,  aperite,  heus,  Simoni  me  adesse  aliquis 

nuntiate. 


V.2. 

Si.  Vox  viri  pessumi  me  exciet  foras. 

sed  quid  hoc  ?   quo  modo  ?     quid  video  ego  ? 
Ps.  Cum  corona  ebrium  Pseudolum  tuom. 

5Sr.  Libere  hercle  hoc  quidem.     sed  vide  statum. 

nvun  mea  gratia  pertimescit  magis  ? 

cogito,  saeviter  blanditerne  adloquar.  1290 

sed  me  hoc  votat  vim  facere  nunc 

quod  fero,  si  qua  in  hoc  spes  sitast  mihi. 

278 


PSEUDOLUS 

showed  good  .  .  .  training,  for  I've  been  a  very 
.  .  .  successful  student  of  the  Ionic  School.  Well, 
with  my  mantle  .  .  .  draped  about  me,  I  gave 
'em  some  steps  hke  .  .  .  this,  {illustrating  again) 
sportive-Uke.  They  clapped  and  yelled  "  Klore!  " 
so  I'd  .  .  .  return.  I  began  all  over  again  .  .  . 
(illustrating)  this  way :  wanted  something  different. 
I  was  just  going  to  let  my  .  .  .  sweetie  love  me — 
when  spinning  round  I  went  .  .  .  flop  !  That  was 
the  death  dirge  of  the  show.  And  so  while  I'm 
struggling  to  get  up — s-s-s-boom  ! — and  there's  my 
....  mantle  almost  gone  to  pot!  Lord,  Lord! 
the  fun  I  furnished  'em  by  my  .  .  .  accident ! 
They  gave  me  the  tankard:  I  .  .  .  drank  it. 
Changed  my  mantle  in  a  .  .  .  hurry,  took  that  one 
off.  Then  I  left  for  here  so  as  to  get  over  my  .  .  . 
intoxication,  (staggering  toward  Simo's  door)  Now 
I'm  coming  from  master  to  master  .  .  .  senior,  to 
remind  him  of  the  .  .  .  treaty,  (shouting)  Open 
up,  open  up !  Hi,  there !  Someone  announce  to 
Simo  that  ...  I  am  here ! 

Scene  2.     E>rrER  Simo  into  his  doorway,  trying  to  keep 

OUT  OF  sight  a  wallet  SLUNG  ON  HIS  SHOL'LDER. 

(trith  assumed  ire)  It's  the  voice  of  a  consummate 
villain  brings  me  out!  (observing  Pseudolus'  state) 
But  what's  this  ?  How  is  this  ?  WTiat  do  I  see  ? 
(posing)  Man  with  a  garland  .  .  .  soused,  your 
own  slave  Pseudolus. 

Now  overflo^ving  with  freedom,  (aside)  But  note 
that  attitude  !  Not  much  intimidated  by  me,  is  he  ? 
(worried)  I  wonder  what  hne  to  take  with  him, 
rough  or  smooth.  But  this  thing  I  have  here 
(fondly  weighing  the  rvallet)  forbids  violent  methods 
now,  if  there's  any  hope  for  me  in  him. 

a79 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Ps.  Vir  malus  \iro  optumo  obviam  it. 

Si.  Di  te  ament,  Pseudole.     fu  i  in  malam  crucem. 

Ps.  Cur  ego  adflictor  ? 

Si.  Quid  tu,  malum,  in  os  igitur  mi  ebrius  inructas  ? 

Ps.  Molliter  sic  tene  me,  cave  ne  cadam : 

non  vides  mie  ut  madide  madeam  ? 
Si.  Quae  istaec  audaciast,  te  sic  interdius 

cum  corolla  ebrium  incedere  ? 
Ps.  Lubet. 

Si.  Quid,  lubet  ?     pergin  ructare  in  os  mihi  ? 

Ps.  Suavis  ructus  mihi  est.     sic  sine,  Simo. 

Si.  Credo  equidem  potesse  te,  seel  us, 

Massici  montis  uberrumos  quattuor 

fructus  ebibere  in  hora  una. 
Ps.  Hibema  addito. 

Si.  Hau  male  mones,  sed  die  tamen, 

unde  onustam  celocem  agcre  te  praedicem  ? 
Ps,  Cum  tuo  filio  perpotavi  modo. 

sed,  Simo,  ut  probe  tactus  Ballio  est ! 

quae  tibi  dixi,  ut  efFecta  reddidi ! 
Si.  Pessumu's  homo. 

Ps.  Mulier  haec  facit. 

cum  tuo  filio  libera  accubat. 

^  The  Roman  hour  then  being  shorter. 
2S0 


PSEUDOLUS 

(reeling  up  to  Simo)  Bad  man  presents  himself  to 

.  .   .  best  of  men,  sir.  (seizes  his  hand) 

(trying  to  he  gracious)  God  bless  you,  Pseudolus. 

(encountering  a  hiccough)  Phew !     Get  to  hell  out  of 

here  !     (gives  him  a  shove) 

(closing  in  on  him  again)  Why's  this  .  .  .  knocking 

me  about  ? 

What  the  deAil  do  you  mean,  then,  by  your  drunken 

belching  in  my  face  ? 

Hold  me  up  .  .  .  gently,  (encircling  Simo's  neck) 

so.     Look  out  I  don't  drop.     Don't  you  see  I'm 

just  .  .  .  soaking  soaked? 

(trying  to   shake   him   off)  To   get   drunk   and   go 

rambling  around  hke  this  with  a  chaplet  on  in  tlie 

daytime — how  dare  you  ? 

It's  (again  too  close  to  Simo's  nose)  nice. 

Nice,  eh  ?  (shoving  him  atvay  vigorously)  You  will 

keep  belching  in  my  face,  will  you  ? 

I've  got  a  .  .  .  fragrant  belch.     Don't  be  .  .  . 

bothered  by  it,  Simo. 

You  scoundrel !     I  verily  believe  you're  capable  of 

guzzhng  four  whole  vintages  of  Monte  Massico, 

and  record  ones,  in  a  single  hour. 

Make  it  .  .  .  winter  ^  hour. 

(smiling)  A  sound  suggestion.     But  tell  me,  though 

— from  what  port  am  I  to  say  you're  saiHng  this 

well-laden  craft  ? 

I've  just  had  .   .   .  large  drinks   with  your  son. 

(eyeing  the  rvallet)     But,  Simo,  how  .  .   .  gloriously 

Balho  did  catch  it !     How  I  did  .  .  .    put  through 

what  I  told  you! 

(slyly  shifting  the  rvallet  behind  him)  Villain  that  you 

are ! 

It's  all  the  .  .  .  girl's  doing.     She's  free,  and  with 

your  son  ...  on  a  couch. 

88x 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Si.  Omnia,  ut  quicque  egisti,  ordine  scio. 

Ps.  Quid  ergo  dubitas  dare  mi  argentum? 

Si.  lus  petis,  fateor.     tene. 

Ps.  At  negabas  daturum  esse  te  mihi. 

onera  hunc  hominem  atque  me  consequere  hac. 
Si.  Egone  istum  onerem? 

Ps.  Onerabis,  scio. 

Si.  Quid    ego    huie    homini    faciam  ?    satin    ultro    et 

argentum  aufert  et  me  inridet? 
Ps.  Vae  victis. 

Si.  Vorte  ergo  umerum. 

Ps.  Em. 

Si.  Hoc  ego  numquam  ratus  sum 

fore  me,  ut  tibi  fierem  supplex. 
heu  heu  heu. 
Ps.  Desine. 

Si.  Doleo. 

Ps.  Ni  doleres  tu,  ego  dolerem.  132C 

Si.  Quid?  hoc  auferen,  Pseudole  mi,  aps  tuo  ero? 

Ps.  Lubentissimo  corde  atque  animo. 

Si.  Non  audes,  quaeso,  aliquam  partem  mihi  gratiam 

facere  hinc  argenti  ? 
Ps.  Non:   me  dices  avidum  esse  hominem  nam  hinc 

numquam  eris  nummo  divitior; 

neque  te  mei  tergi  misereret,  si  hoc  non  hodie 

ecfecissem. 
282 


PSEUDOLUS 

I  know  every  single  detail  of  your  performance. 

Then  why  so  slow  in  giving  me  the   .   .   .  money? 

(after painful  inward  debate)     You  claim  your  rights, 

I  admit.     Take  it.  {turns for  Pseudolus  to  unsling  the 

wallet) 

But  you  said  you  wouldn't  .  .  .  give  it  to  me. 

Now  you  {grinning  maliciously)  load  up  this  chap 

{tapping   his   shoulder)    and   follow   me   this    way. 

{pointing  in  the  direction  he  came) 

{indignantly)  I  load  him,  I  ? 

You  will,  I  know  you   .  .  .  will. 

{half  aside)  What  shall  I  do  with  the  fellow  ?   Togo 

ahead  and  take  my  money  and  laugh  at  me,  to  boot ! 

Woe  to  the  .  .  .  vanquished ! 

{after  more  debate)  Then  turn  your  shoulder  round. 

(doing  so)  There !  {Simo  very  reluctantly  transfers  the 

wallet) 

(suddenly  clasping  Pseudolus'  knees  and  eyeing  the 

wallet  piteously)  I  never  thought  I  should  come  to 

this,  and  be  a  suppHant  to  you.  (wailing)  Oh  dear, 

oh  dear,  oh  dear ! 

(coldly)  Oh,  stop  that. 

But  I'm  suffering! 

If  you  weren't  suffering,   I'd  .  .  .  be  suffering. 

(pulls  away) 

What?     You'll  take  this  from  your  own  master, 

Pseudolus  dear? 

With  the  greatest  .  .  .  satisfaction  of  heart  and 

soul. 

Do  let  me  off  some  part  of  this  money,  won't  you 

please,  please,  agree  ? 

I  won't.     You  can  call  me  a  .  .  .  greedy  man,  for 

never  a  penny  richer  will  .   .   .  you  be  from  this. 

You'd  have  shown  no  mercy  to  my  .  .  .  hide,  if  I 

hadn't  put  this  through  to-day. 

183 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 


Si. 

Erit  ubi  te  ulciscar,  si  vivo. 

Ps. 

Quid  minitare  ?     habeo  tergum. 

Si. 

Age  sane  igitur. 

Ps. 

Redi. 

Si. 

Quid  redeam  ? 

Ps. 

Redi  modo :  non  eris  deceptus. 

Si. 

Redeo. 

Ps. 

Simul  mecum  i  potatum. 

Si. 

Egone  earn  ? 

Ps. 

Fac  quod  te  iubeo : 

si  is,  aut  dimidium  aut  plus  etiam  faxo  hir 

10  feres. 

Si. 

Eo,  due  me  quo  vis. 

Ps. 

Quid  nunc  ?     numquid  iratus  es  aut  mihi 
propter  has  res,  Simo  ? 

aut  filio 

Si. 

Nil  profecto. 

Ps. 

I  hac. 

Si. 

Te  sequor.     quin  vocas  spectatores  simul  ? 

Ps. 

Hercle  me  isti  hau  solent 

vocare,  neque  ergo  ego  istos ; 

verum  si  voltis  adplaudere  atque  adprobare 

hunc  gregem  et  fabulam, 

in  crastinum  vos  vocabo. 

1330 


384 


PSEUDOLUS 

(losing  control  of  himself)   I'll  have  my  chance  to 

get  square  \v-ith  you,  sure  as  I'm  alive ! 

(undisturbed)  WTiat's  the  use  of  .  .  .  threats  ?   I've 

got  a  hide. 

All  right,  then,  go  ahead !  (walks  away) 

(authoritatively)  Come  back ! 

(halting, hopefully)  Gjmeback?     Why? 

Just  you  come  back.     I  won't  .  .  .  fool  you. 

(returning)  Back  I  come. 

You  and  I  are  going  on  a  .  .  .  spree  together. 

(outraged)  I  am,  I  ? 

Do  what  I  .  .  .  tell  you.     If  you  do,  I'll  see  you 

get  half,  or  even  .  .  .  more,  of  this,  (leering  at  the 

rvallet) 

(summoning  the  remains  of  his  endurance)  111  go, 

take  me  where  you  wish. 

(ogling  the  wallet,  then  Simo,  quizzically)  Well  now  ? 

You're  not  at  all  .  .  .  angry  at  me  or  your  son 

because  of  this,  Simo  ? 

(earnestly)  Oh,  no,  not  a  bit. 

(turning  dojvn  the  street)  Come  this  way. 

Coming,  sir.     Why  don't  you  invite  the  spectators 

too? 

Lord !     Those  chaps  never  think  of  inviting  .  .  . 

me,   so   I   won't  them,     (to   audience)    Oh,   well, 

though,  if  you  .   .   .  want  to  give  this  company  and 

play  your  .  .  .  applause  and  approval,  I'll  invite 

you  to  .  .  .  to-morrow's  performance.       [exeunt. 


«85 


RUDENS 

OR 

THE  ROPE 


ARGVMENTVM 

Reti  piscator  de  mari  extraxit  vidulum, 
Vbi  erant  erilis  filiae  crepundia, 
Dominum  ad  lenonem  quae  subrepta  venerat. 
Ea  in  clientelam  suipte  inprudens  patris 
Naufragio  electa  devenit :  cognoscitur 
Suoque  amico  Plesidippo  iungitur. 


PERSONAE 

AncrvRvs  prologus 

sceparnio  servus 

Plesidippvs  adulescens 

Daemones  senex 

Palaestra) 
.  } puellae 

AmpeliscaJ 

Ptolemocratia  sacerdos  veneris 

PiSCATORES 
TrACHALIO  SERVUS 

Labrax  leno 
Charmides  senex 

LORARII 

Gripvs  piscatoe 


288 


ARGUMENT  OF  THE   PLAY 

A  fisherman  hauled  from  the  sea  in  his  net  a  trunk 
•which  contained  some  toys  belonging  to  his  master's 
daughter  who  had  been  stolen  and  had  become  the 
slave  of  a  pimp.  Ship^^TCcked  and  cast  ashore,  the 
girl  was  protected  by  her  own  father  ^vithout  know- 
ing who  he  was.  After  they  recognize  one 
another  she  is  married  to  her  lover,  Plesidippus 


DRAMATIS  PERSONAE 

Arcturus,  the  Prologue. 

ScEPARNio,  slave  of  Daemones. 

Plesidippus,  a  young  gentleman  of  Cyrene. 

Daemones,  an  old  gentleman  living  near  Cyrene. 

Palaestra  /    ,  .  ,      r.  t   i 

Ampelisca  !  ^'''^'^  ^'■^  "/  ^^^'■«^- 

Ptolemocratla,  a  priestess  of  Venus. 

Fishermen. 

Trachalio,  slave  of  Plesidippus. 

Lab  rax,  a  pimp. 

Charmides,  a  friend  ofLabrax. 

Overseers,  slaves  of  Daemones. 

Gripus,  a  fisherman,  slave  of  Daemones. 

Scene  : — A  rcild,  rough  pari  of  the  African  coast  not 
very  far  from  Cyrene.  In  the  background,  obscured 
by  a  tangle  of  vegetation,  stand  a  temple,  an  altar  in 
front  of  it,  and  the  cottage  of  Daemones.  On  the  right 
is  the  rocky  shore-line;  off  stage  toward  the  left  lie  the 
harbour  and  city  of  Cyrene. 

389 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


ARCTVRVS 

Qui  gentes  omnes  mariaque  et  terras  movet, 

eius  sum  civis  civitate  caelitum. 

ita  sum,  ut  videtis,  splendens  stella  Candida, 

signum  quod  semper  tempore  exoritur  suo 

hie  atque  in  caelo :   nomen  Arcturo  est  mihi.^ 

qui  est  imperator  divom  atque  hominum  luppiter, 

is  nos  per  gentis  alium  alia  disparat,  10 

qui  facta  hominum,  mores,  pietatem  et  fidem 

noscamus,  ut  quemque  adiuvet  opulentia. 

Qui  falsas  litis  falsis  testimoniis 
petunt  quique  in  iure  abiurant  pecuniam, 
eorum  referimus  nomina  exscripta  ad  lovem ; 
cotidie  ille  scit  quis  hie  quaerat  malum : 
qui  hie  litem  apisci  postulant  peiurio 
mali,  res  falsas  qui  impetrant  apud  iudicera, 
iterum  ille  eam  rem  iudicatam  iudicat ; 
maiore  multa  multat  quam  litem  auferunt.  20 

Bonos  in  aliis  tabulis  exscriptos  habet. 
atque  hoc  scelesti  in  animum  inducunt  suom, 
lovem  se  placare  posse  donis,  hostiis : 
et  operam  et  sumptum  perdunt ;  id  eo  fit  quia 
nihil  ei  acceptumst  a  periuris  supplici ; 
facilius  si  qui  pius  est  a  dis  supplicans, 

1  Leo  brackets  following  vv.,  6-8  : 
noctu  sum  in  caelo  clarus  atqxie  inter  deos, 
inter  mortalis  amhulo  interdius. 
at  alia  signa  de  caelo  ad  terrain  accidunt. 

290 


RUDEXS 


PROLOGUE 

SPOKEN  BY  Arcturus. 

In  company  with  Him  who  sways  all  peoples  and 
the  seas  and  lands,  a  citizen  am  I  of  the  celestial 
city.  Agleam  with  shining  star,  {touching  the  star 
on  his  forehead)  in  me  you  see  a  constellation  which 
for  ever  rises  in  its  season  here  and  in  the  skies. 
Arcturus  is  my  name.^  'Tis  Jupiter,  the  lord  of 
gods  and  men,  that  doth  assign  us  each  our  different 
posts  among  the  peoples,  that  we  may  learn  of  the 
deeds  and  ways  of  men,  their  reverence  and  loyalty, 
and  how  well  each  doth  fare. 

All  who  bring  to  court  false  cases  supported  by 
false  ^\•itness,  all  who  before  the  magistrate  deny 
on  oath  their  honest  debts,  them  we  note  and  take 
their  names  to  Jove.  Day  by  day  He  knows  who 
they  be  that  do  seek  e\\\  here  on  earth.  WTien  the 
■nicked  here  expect  to  win  their  suits  by  perjury,  or 
press  false  claims  before  the  judge,  the  case  ad- 
judged is  judged  again  by  Him.  And  the  fine  He 
fines  them  far  exceeds  their  gains  in  courts  of  law.^ 

The  good  are  enrolled  by  Him  on  other  tablets. 
Yet  scoundrels  think  to  placate  Jove  by  gifts  and 
offerings.  Their  time  and  money  both  are  wasted ; 
for  he  takes  not  tribute  from  a  guilty  hand.  The 
righteous  man  will  find  God's  grace  by  prayer  more 

^  Vv.  6-8  :  By  night  I  dwell  in  splendour  in  the  skies 
and  amongst  the  gods :  by  day  I  walk  amongst  mankind. 
Yet  other  constellations  also  do  descend  from  heaven  to 
earth. 

391 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

quam  qui  scelestust,  inveniet  veniam  sibi. 
idcirco  moneo  vos  ego  haec,  qui  estis  boni 
quique  aetatem  agitis  cum  pietate  et  cum  fide :  * 
retinete  porro,  post  factum  ut  laetemini.  30 

Nunc,  hue  qua  causa  veni,  argumentum  eloquar. 
primumdum  Iiuic  esse  nomen  urbi  Diphilus 
Cyrenas  voluit.     illic  habitat  Daemones 
in  agro  atque  villa  proxima  propter  mare, 
senex,  qui  hue  Athenis  exul  venit,  hau  malus; 
neque  is  adeo  propter  malitiam  patria  caret, 
sed  dum  alios  servat  se  impedivit  interim, 
rem  bene  paratam  comitate  perdidit. 
huic  filiola  virgo  periit  parvola. 

eam  de  praedone  vir  mercatur  pessumus,  40 

is  eam  hue  Cyrenas  leno  advexit  virginem. 
adulescens  quidam  civis  huius  Atticus 
eam  vidit  ire  e  ludo  fidicinio  domum, 
amare  occepit :   ad  lenonem  devenit, 
minis  triginta  sibi  puellam  destinat 
datque  arrabonem  et  iure  iurando  alligat. 

Is  leno,  ut  se  aequom  est,  flocci  non  fecit  fidem 
neque  quod  iuratus  adulescenti  dixerat. 
ei  erat  hospes  par  sui,  Siculus  senex 
scelestus,  Agrigentinus,  urbis  proditor;  50 

is  illius  laudare  infit  formam  virginis 
et  aliarum  itidem  quae  eius  erant  mulierculae. 
infit  lenoni  suadere,  ut  secum  simul 
eat  in  Siciliam :  ibi  esse  homines  voluptarios 
dicit,  potesse  ibi  eum  fieri  divitem.^ 

Persuadet.     navis  clanculum  conducitur, 
quidquid  erat  noctu  in  navem  comportat  domo 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  in  A. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  56  : 
ibi  esse  quaestum  maximum  meretricibus. 

292 


RUDENS 

readily  than  will  the  knave.  This  do  I  therefore 
urge  upon  you,  who  are  good  men  and  lead  lives  of 
righteousness  and  honour :  hold  fast  to  your  course, 
that  so  ye  may  abide  in  joy. 

{more  familiarly)  Now  for  our  argument,  the  reason 
I  appear  here.  First  of  all,  Diphilus  wished  that 
this  city  (pointing)  be  Cyrene.  On  the  farm  yonder 
in  that  cottage  so  close  to  the  sea  lives  Daemones, 
an  old  gentleman  who  came  as  an  exile  here  from 
Athens — no  bad  sort,  Daemones.  No,  and  it  is  not 
a  case  of  his  being  banished  for  offence ;  but  by 
helping  others  he  entangled  himself,  and  lost 
through  his  kindliness  an  honestly  earned  fortune. 
He  lost  his  daughter,  too,  a  dear  little  girl :  the 
man  who  stole  her  sold  her  to  the  worst  sort  of 
blackguard,  a  pimp,  who  brought  the  maiden  to 
Cyrene  here.  Now  a  certain  young  Athenian,  a 
compatriot  of  hers,  saw  her  on  her  way  home  from 
music  school  and  fell  in  love  with  her.  Off  he  posts 
to  the  pimp,  arranges  to  buy  the  girl  for  one  hun- 
dred and  twenty  pounds,  making  part-payment, 
and  binds  the  pimp  to  the  bargain  by  an  oath. 

This  pimp,  true  to  type,  cared  not  a  straw  for  his 
promise  or  the  oath  he  had  given  the  young  fellow. 
Visiting  him  was  a  Sicilian  from  Agrigentum,  an 
old  scoundrel  of  his  own  sort,  the  kind  that  would 
sell  his  city ;  and  this  fellow  begins  telhng  him  how 
exquisite  that  maiden  is  and  what  a  fine  lot  his 
other  girls  are,  too.  Then  he  begins  pressing  the 
pimp  to  pack  off  to  Sicily  along  with  him.  "  People 
go  in  for  a  gay  life  there,"  says  he.  "  There's 
where  you  can  make  your  fortune."  ^ 

This  was  too  tempting.  Secretly  chartering  a 
ship,  the  pimp  at  night  stows  all  he  owned  on  board 

^  y.  66 :     "  There's  the  place  for  profits  with  courtesans." 

293 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

leno ;  adulescenti  qui  puellam  ab  eo  emerat 

ait  sese  Veneri  velle  votum  solvere —  60 

id  hie  est  Veneris  fanum — et  eo  ad  prandium 

vocavit  adulescentem  hue.     ipse  hinc  ilico 

conscendit  navem,  avehit  meretriculas. 

adulescenti  alii  narrant  ut  res  gesta  sit, 

lenonem  abiisse.     ad  portum  adulescens  venit : 

illorum  navis  longe  in  altum  abscesserat. 

Ego  quoniam  video  virginem  asportarier, 
tetuli  ei  auxilium  et  lenoni  exitium  simul : 
increpui  hibernum  et  fluctus  movi  maritimos. 
nam  Arcturus  signum  sum  omnium  acerrimum :  70 

vehemens  sum  exoriens,  cum  occido  vehementior. 

Nunc  ambo  in  saxo,  leno  atque  hospes,  simul 
sedent  eiecti :  navis  confracta  est  eis. 
ilia  autem  virgo  atque  altera  itidem  ancillula 
de  navi  timidae  desuluerunt  in  scapham. 
nunc  eas  ab  saxo  fluctus  ad  terram  ferunt 
ad  villam  illius,  exul  ubi  habitat  senex, 
cuius  deturbavit  ventus  tectum  et  tegulas ; 
et  servos  illic  est  eius,  qui  egreditur  foras. 
adulescens  hue  iam  adveniet,  quern  videbitis,  80 

qui  illam  mercatust  de  lenone  virginem. 
valete,  ut  hostes  vestri  diffidant  sibi. 

ACTVS  I 

Seep.       Pro  di  immortales,  tempestatem  cuius  modi 
Neptunus  nobis  nocte  hac  misit  proxima. 

294 


RUDENS 

her.  He  tells  the  young  fellow  who  had  bought 
the  girl  that  he  wants  to  pay  a  vow  to  \^enus — that 
is  her  temple  there — (pointing)  and  accordingly 
in\ited  him  here  to  lunch.  Then  he  himself 
straightway  embarks  and  proceeds  to  sail  off  with 
his  Httle  stock  of  coiu-tesans.  The  young  fellow  is 
informed  by  others  of  these  happenings  and  the 
pimp's  departure.  He  goes  to  the  harbour :  their 
ship  was  far,  far  out  at  sea. 

Then  it  was  that  I,  beholding  the  maiden  borne 
away,  came  to  her  rescue,  and  also  came  with  ruin 
to  the  pimp.  I  raised  a  blustering  gale  and  waked 
the  waters  of  the  deep.  For  Arctm-us,  the  fiercest 
constellation  of  them  all,  am  I,  tempestuous  when 
I  rise,  and  when  I  set  more  tempestuous  still. 

So  now  side  by  side  upon  a  rock  are  seated  pimp 
and  guest,  a  pair  of  castaways :  their  ship  is 
wrecked.  That  maiden,  however,  and  another 
slave  girl  like^^ise,  were  terrified  and  jumped  from 
the  ship  into  a  boat.  And  now  the  waves  are 
dri\-ing  them  from  the  rock  toward  shore,  at  the 
spot  where  that  old  exile  dwells  in  this  cottage,  the 
roof  and  tiles  of  which  were  torn  off  by  the  storm. 
{as  Scepamio  appears  in  Daemones'  doorrvay)  Ah, 
that  is  his  slave  who  is  coming  out.  Soon  you  will 
see  arriving  the  young  man  who  bought  the  maiden 
from  the  pimp.  Fare  ye  well — so  well  that  your 
foes  lose  heart.  [exit. 

ACT  I 

ENTER  Scepamio,  carrying  a  spade,  froh  the 
COTTAGE  OF  Daemones. 

(groTvling)  Oh,  my  God !  What  a  hurricane  Nej>- 
time  turned  loose  on  us  last  night !    The  wind  took 

295 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

detexit  ventus  villam — quid  verbis  opust  ? 
non  ventus  fuit,  verum  Alcumena  Euripidi, 
ita  omnis  de  tecto  deturbavit  tegulas ; 
inlustrioris  fecit  fenestrasque  indidit. 


1.2. 

Pies.        Et  vos  a  vestris  abduxi  negotiis 

neque  id  processit  qua  vos  duxi  gratia,  90 

neque  quivi  ad  portum  lenonem  prehendere. 

sed  mea  desidia  spem  deserere  nolui : 

eo  vos,  amici,  detinui  diutius. 

nunc  hue  ad  Veneris  fanum  venio  visere, 

ubi  rem  divinam  se  facturum  dixerat. 
Seep.       Si  sapiam,  hoc  quod  me  mactat  concinnem  lutum. 
Pies.        Prope  me  hie  nescio  quis  loquitur. 
Daem.  Heus,  Sceparnio. 

Seep.       Qui  nominat  me  ? 

Daem.  Qui  pro  te  argentum  dedit. 

Seep.       Quasi  me  tuom  esse  servom  dicas,  Daemones. 
Daem.     Luto  usust  multo,  multam  terram  confode.  100 

villapi  integundam  intellego  totam  mihi, 

nam  nunc  perlucet  ea  quam  cribrum  crebrius. 
Pies.        Pater  salveto,  amboque  adeo. 
Daem.  Salvos  sis. 

Seep,       Sed  utrum  tu  masne  an  femina  es,  qui  ilium  patrem 

voces  ? 

^  What  sort  of  violence  is  alluded  to  in  this  lost  play 
is  not  certain. 

296 


RUDENS 


the  roof  right  off  the  house.  Wind,  did  I  sav  ? 
That  wasn't  any  wind.  It  was  an  Alcmena^  of 
Euripides,  the  way  it  stripped  every  single  tile  off. 
Well,  it  has  left  the  house  lighter  with  the  new 
windows  it  blew  in.  (moves  along,  wearily  looking  for 
a  place  to  dig) 

Scene  2.  enter  Plesidippus  with  three 

FRIENDS  WEARING  MANTLES  AND   SWORDS. 


Pies. 


Seep. 
Pies. 


Daem. 

Seep. 

Daem. 

Seep. 

Daem. 


Pies. 

Daem. 
Seep. 


(distressed)  And  I've  taken  you  away  from  your 
own  affairs,  and  failed  in  what  I  took  you  for,  and 
missed  catching  the  pimp  at  the  harbour.  But  I 
hated  to  give  up  hope  j  ust  for  lack  of  energy'  enough. 
That's  why  I've  detained  you  all  this  time,  friends. 
(moving  on)  Now  for  a  look  at  the  shrine  of  Venus 
here  where  he  said  he  was  going  to  offer  sacrifice. 
(reluctantly  preparing  to  dig)  If  I  was  wise,  I'd  get 
this  plaguy  clay  ready. 

Eh !     Someone    talldng    near    by !  (looks    around 
tvithout  seeing  Scepamio) 

ENTER  Daemones  from  his  cottage. 

(sharply,  approaching  Scepamio)  Hey  !     Scepamio ! 

(digging  zealously)  Who's  calling  me? 

The  man  that  paid  out  money  for  you. 

That's  a  good  deal  like  calling  me  your  slave,  sir. 

We  need  lots  of  clay  :  dig  deep.     My  whole  house 

has  to  be  roofed  over,  I  see,  for  now  it's  perfectly 

transparent — nothing  but  one  great  grating. 

(coming  up)  Good-day  to  you,  father — to  both  of 

you,  in  fact. 

(brusquely)  And  to  yourself. 

(looking  up  from  his  digging  rvith  a  growl)  See  here, 

are  you  male  or  female,  calling  him  "  father  "  ? 

297 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pies.  Vir  sum  equidem. 

Seep.  Quaere  vir  porro  patrem. 

Daem.     Filiolam  ego  unam  habui,  earn  unam  perdidi. 

virile  sexus  numquam  ullum  habui. 
Pies.  At  di  dabunt. 

Seep.       Tibi  quidem  hercle,  quisquis  es,  magnum  malum, 

qui  oratione  ^  hie  occupatos  oceupes. 
Pies.       Isticine  vos  habitatis  ? 
Seep.  Quid  tu  id  quaeritas  ?  110 

quon  furatum  mox  venias,  vestigas  loca  ? 
Pies.        Peculiosum  esse  addecet  servom  et  probum, 

quem  ero  praesente  ^  praetereat  oratio 

aut  qui  inelementer  dicat  homini  libero. 
Seep.       Et  impudicum  et  impudentem  hominem  addecet 

molestum  ultro  advenire  ad  alienam  domura, 

cui  debeatur  nil. 
Daem.  Tace,  Sceparnio. 

quid  opust,  adulesccns  ? 
Pies.  Istic  infortunium, 

qui  praefestinet,  ubi  erus  adsit,  praeloqui. 

sed  nisi  molestumst,  paueis  percontarier  120 

volo  ego  ex  te. 
Daem.  Dabitur  opera,  atque  in  negotio. 

Seep.       Quin  tu  in  paludem  is  exicasque  harundinem, 

qui  pertegamus  villam,  dum  sudumst  ? 
Daem.  Tace. 

tu  si  quid  opus  est  dice. 
Pies.  Die  quod  te  rogo, 

ecquem  tu  hie  hominem  crispum,  incanum  videris, 

malum,  periurum,  palpatorem — 

^  Leo  brackets  following  nos. 
^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  praetrahat  Lindsay, 
298 


RUDENS 

I'm  a  man,  of  course. 

(digging  again)  Look  for  your  father  further,  man. 
(tvith  a  scowl  at  Sceparnio)  I  did  have  one  little 
daughter,  sir.  But  I  lost  her,  my  only  one.  I 
never  had  a  son. 

(rvith  hasty  encouragement)  Oh,  well,  the  gods  will 
give  you  one. 

Yes,  and  they'll  give  you  one,  by  Jove — a  blister- 
ing big  one,  whoever  you  are,  bothering  us  busy 
men  with  your  babble. 
{to  Daemones)  Do  you  live  in  that  house  ? 
What  do  you  want  to  know  for  ?    Spotting  the  place, 
are  you,  so  as  to  come  and  loot  it  later  ? 
{severely)  A  slave  must  have  money  and  merit  to 
be  so  free  of  speech  in  his  master's  presence  and  in- 
sult a  gentleman. 

And  your  gentleman  must  have  beastly  bad 
manners  to  come  to  a  stranger's  house  >vithout 
being  asked  and  make  himself  a  nuisance  where 
nothing's  owed  him. 

That  will  do,  Sceparnio.  What  do  you  want,  young 
man? 

{eyeing  Sceparnio  irately)  A  flogging  for  that  fellow 
who's  so  keen  to  have  first  say,  although  his  master's 
present.  But  I  do  -wish  to  ask  you  a  few  short 
questions,  sir,  unless  I  am  a  nuisance. 
Very  well — even  though  I  am  occupied. 
Aw,  go  on  down  to  the  swamp  and  cut  some 
reeds  so  that  we  can  roof  the  cottage  while  it's 
clear. 

Silence !  {to  Plesidippus)  And  you,  sir,  if  you  want 
anything,  speak. 

Tell  me  this,  then — have  you  seen  a  curly -haired 
fellow  here,  a  hoary  old  rascal  full  of  lies  and 
flattery 

299 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 


Daem. 

Pies. 

Daem. 


Pies. 

Daem. 

Seep. 

Daem. 

Pies. 
Seep. 


Pies. 
Daem. 

Seep. 

Daem. 


Plurimos, 
nam  ego  propter  eius  modi  viros  vivo  miser. 
Hie  dico,  in  fanum  Veneris  qui  mulierculas 
duas  secum  adduxit,  quique  adornaret  sibi 
ut  rem  divinam  faciat,  aut  hodie  aut  heri.  130 

Non  hercle,  aduleseens,  iam  hos  dies  complusculos 
quemquam  istic  vidi  sacruficare,  neque  potest 
clam  me  esse  si  qui  sacruficat :   semper  petunt 
aquam  hinc  aut  ignem  aut  vaseula  aut  cultrum  aut 

veru 
aut  aulam  extarem,  aut  aliquid — quid  verbis  opust  ? 
Veneri  paravi  vasa  et  puteum,  non  mihi. 
nunc  intervallum  iam  hos  dies  multos  fuit. 
Vt  verba  praehibes,  me  periisse  praedicas. 
Mea  quidem  hercle  causa  salvos  sis  licet. 
Heus  tu,  qui  fana  ventris  causa  circumis,  140 

iubere  meliust  prandium  ornari  domi. 
Fortasse  tu  hue  vocatus  es  ad  prandium, 
ille  qui  vocavit  nullus  venit  ? 

Admodum. 
Nullumst  periclum  te  hinc  ire  inpransum  domum : 
Cererem  te  meliust  quam  Venerem  sectarier : 
amori  haec  curat ;   tritico  curat  Ceres. 
Deludificavit  me  illic  homo  indignis  modis. 
Pro  di  immortales,  quid  illuc  est,  Sceparnio, 
hominum  secundum  litus  ? 

Vt  mea  est  opinio, 
propter  viam  illi  sunt  vocati  ad  prandium.  150 

Qui? 
300 


RUDENS 

{bitterly)  Plenty  of  them.  Why,  worthies  of  that 
description  have  \^Tecked  my  life  for  me. 
Here,  I  mean — a  fellow  that  brought  along  two 
girls  to  the  temple  of  Venus,  and  was  preparing  to 
offer  sacrifice — to-day  or  yesterday? 
No,  I  certainly  have  not  seen  anyone  sacrificing 
there  for  several  days  now,  young  man,  and  no  one 
can  do  so  without  my  kno^\^ng  it.  They're  for 
ever  coming  to  my  house  for  water,  or  coals,  or 
dishes,  or  a  knife,  or  a  spit,  or  a  pot  to  cook  tripe  in, 
or  something.  It  would  seem, in  short,  that  I  got  my 
kitchenware  and  well  for  Venus,  not  myself.  But 
I've  had  a  respite  now  for  quite  a  number  of  days. 
(grimly)  Your  words  make  it  evident  that  every- 
thing's ended  for  me ! 
Heavens,  man,  you  can  feel  safe  enough  as  far  as  I 

go- 

I  say,  you — hanging  around  the  temple  for  the  sake 

of  your  belly — better  let  'em  get  up  a  lunch  for  you 

at  home. 

You  have  been  in\-ited  here  to  lunch,  perhaps,  and 

your  host  has  failed  to  appear  ? 

(brooding)  Exactly. 

Oh,  go  on  home  without  it :  we  don't  mind.     You 

ought  to  be  chasing  up  Ceres,  instead  of  Venus. 

It's  love  she's  in  charge  of;    it's  Ceres  that's  in 

charge  of  food. 

(still  brooding)  The  infamous  way  that  fellow  has 

made  a  joke  of  me ! 

(glancing  toward  the  sea,  then  suddenly)  Good  God! 

Who  are  those  men  by  the  shore,   Scepamio? 

(jpoints) 

Looks  to  me  as  if  they'd  been  invited  to  a  farewell 

dinner. 

WTiy  so? 

301 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Seep.  Quia  post  cenam,  credo,  laverunt  heri, 

Daem.     Confracta  navis  in  mari  est  illis. 

Seep.  Ita  est. 

at  hercle  nobis  villa  in  terra  et  tegulae. 
Daem.  Hui, 

homunculi  quanti  estis.     eiecti  ut  natant. 
Pies.        Vbi  sunt  i  homines,  obsecro  ? 
Daem.  Hac  ad  dexteram — 

viden  ? — secundum  litus. 
Pies.  Video,     sequimini. 

utinam  is  sit  quem  ego  quaero,  vir  sacerrimus. 

valete. 
Seep.  Si  non  moneas,  nosmet  meminimus. 

sed,  o  Palaemon,  sancte  Neptuni  comes, 

qui  Herculis  socius  esse  diceris,^ 

quod  facinus  video. 
Daem  Quid  vides  ? 

Seep.  Mulierculas 

video  sedentis  in  scapha  solas  duas. 

ut  adflictantur  miserae.     euge  euge,  perbenc, 

ab  saxo  avortit  fluctus  ad  litus  scapham, 

neque  gubernator  umquam  potuit  rectius. 

non  vidisse  undas  me  maioris  censeo. 

salvae  sunt,  si  illos  fluctus  devitaverint. 

nunc,  nunc  periclumst.     unda  eiecit  alteram. 

at  in  vadost,  iam  facile  enabit.     eugepae,^ 

surrexit,  horsum  se  capessit.     salva  res. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   Sociennus  Parous. 
^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  171  : 

viden  alteram  illam  ut  fluctus  eiecit  foras? 
302 


RUDENS 

Well,  I  judge  they've  had  a  wet  night  ^  of  it. 
Their  ship  has  been  wrecked  at  sea! 
(rvearily   surveying   his   spade)  Just   so.     And   our 
cottage  on  land,  tiles  and  all,  confound  it ! 
Ah,   you   poor   little   mannikins !     Thrown   over- 
board, and  how  they  swim! 
I  say,  I  say,  where  are  those  men  ? 
{pointing)  There  at  the  right,  see  them — near  the 
shore  ? 

I  see  them !  (to  his  friends,  excitedly)  Come  on !  Oh, 
if  it's  only  the  fellow  I'm  looking  for,  the  infernal 
scoundrel!  (to  Daemones  and  Scepamio)  Take  care 
of  yourselves ! 

[exeunt  Plesidippus  and  his  friends  toward  shore. 

(as  they  disappear)  We  don't  need  your  advice  to 
remember  that,  (startled,  as  he  looks  toward  another 
part  of  the  coast)  But  oh,  Palaemon,  Neptune's  holy 
friend  and  Hercules'  companion,  so  they  say! 
WTiat's  this  I  see? 
Well,  what? 

Two  girls  sitting  all  alone  in  a  boat  I  How  they're 
tossed  about,  poor  things !  Good !  Good !  Grand ! 
A  wave  drove  the  boat  away  from  the  rocks  toward 
the  beach!  No  pilot  could  ever  have  steered  it 
better!  What  a  siu-f!  I  don't  believe  I  ever  saw 
it  heavier.  They're  all  right  if  they  only  dodge 
those  breakers !  Now !  Now's  the  time !  One's 
overboard!  Where  it's  shallow,  though!  Shell 
swim  out  easily,  now !  Splendid  l^  She's  on  her 
feet!    She's  coming  this  way!    She's  safe!    The 

*  A  qiiip  difficult  to  reproduce  closely,  even  if  the  custom 
alluded  to  were  well  understood. 

*  V.  171 :     Did  you  see  that  other  one — how  the  wave 
threw  her  out  T 

303 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

desiluit  haec  autem  altera  in  terram  e  scapha. 

ut  prae  timore  in  genua  in  undas  concidit. 

salvast,  evasit  ex  aqua,     iam  in  litore  est. 

sed  dextrovorsum  avorsa  it  in  malam  crucem. 

hem,  errabit  illaec  hodie. 
Daem.  Quid  id  refert  tua  ? 

Seep.       Si  ad  saxum  quo  capessit,  ea  deorsum  cadit, 

errationis  fecerit  compendium.  180 

Daem.     Si  tu  de  illarum  cenaturus  vesperi  es, 

illis  curandum  censeo,  Sceparnio, 

si  apud  me  essurus,  mihi  dari  operam  volo. 
Seep.       Bonum  aequomque  oras. 

Daem.  Sequpre  me  hac  ergo. 

Seep.  Sequor. 

1.3. 

Pal.        Nimio  hominum  fortunae  minus  miserae  memor- 
antur, 

1  experiundo  iis  datur  acerbum. 

1  hoc  deo  complacitumst,  me  hoc  omatu  omatam  in 
incertas 

regiones  timidam  eiectam  ? 

hancine    ego    ad    rem    natam    esse    me    miseram 
memorabo  ? 

hancine  ego  partem  capio  ob  pietatem  praecipuam  ?  190 

nam  hoc  mi  baud  laborist,  laborem  hunc  potiri, 

si  erga  parentem  aut  deos  me  impiavi; 

sed  id  si  parate  curavi  ut  caverem, 

tum  hoc  mi  indecore,  inique,  inmodeste 

datis,  di ;  nam  quid  habebunt  sibi  signi  impii  posthac, 

si  ad  hunc  modum  est  innoxiis  honor  apud  vos  ? 

nam  me  si  sciam  in  vos  fecisse  aut  parentis 

sceleste  minus  me  miserer ; 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   giiam  noscunt  experiundo,  ubi  is  datur 
acerbum.     nam  praeter  spem  hoc  Leo. 


RUDENS 

other  one,  though — ^jumped  out  of  the  boat  toward 
the  shore !  Look !  Fallen  on  her  knees  in  the  water, 
for  fear!  That's  it!  She's  out!  Now  she's  on 
land !  Turned  off  to  the  right,  though — too  bad, 
too  bad!  Dear,  dear!  Now  she'll  get  lost! 
(turning  to  go)  What's  that  to  you? 
If  she  falls  down  that  chff  she's  making  for,  she'll 
get  lost  quicker ! 

(sharply)  If  you  expect  to  dine  at  their  expense, 
Scepamio,  I  suppose  you  owe  them  your  attention, 
but  if  you  intend  to  eat  at  my  house,  I  wish  your 
services  myself. 

(reluctantly  turning  away)  Quite  right  and  reason- 
able, sir. 

(going)  This  way,  then,  come. 
(JolloTving  him)  Coming.  [exeunt. 

Scene  3.      enter  Palaestra  drenched,  exhausted  and 

BEWILDERED. 

Ah,  the  lot  of  human  beings  is  ever  so  much  less 
dreadful  in  the  telling  than  in  the  actual  experience 
of  those  that  suffer.  Is  it  really  the  ^vill  of  God  that 
I  should  be  cast  on  a  strange  shore  in  this  pitiable 
plight  and  frightened  so  ?  Oh  dear,  oh  dear  !  Am 
I  to  think  that  I  was  bom  for  this?  Is  this  my 
reward  for  trying  my  best  to  do  right?  WTiy,  I 
can  suffer  this  and  not  think  it  suff"ering,  if  I  have 
sinned  against  a  parent  or  against  the  gods.  But 
if  I  have  been  careful  as  could  be  not  to  do  so,  then, 
gods,  you  are  treating  me  unfittingly,  unfairly, 
unjustly.  For  how  will  the  guilty  be  marked  out 
by  you  now,  if  this  is  the  way  you  honour  the  inno- 
cent ?  Why,  if  I  knew  that  I  or  my  parents  had 
acted  wickedly  in  your  sight,  I  should  not  pity 

305 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

sed  erile  scelus  me  soUicitat,  eius  me  impietas  male 

habet. 
is  navem  atque  omnia  perdidit  in  mari : 
haec  bonorum  eius  sunt  reliquiae ;  etiam  quae 

simul  200 

vecta  mecum  in  scaphast,  excidit.  ego  nunc  sola 

sum. 
quae  mihi  si  foret  salva  saltem,  labor 
lenior  esset  hie  mi  eius  opera. 

nunc  quam  spem  aut  opem  aut  consili  quid  capessam? 
ita  hie  sola  solis  locis  compotita  sum. 
hie  saxa  sunt,  hie  mare  sonat, 
neque  quisquam  homo  mihi  obviam  venit.'- 
hoc  quod  induta  sum,  summae  opes  oppido. 
nee  cibo  nee  loco  tecta  quo  sim  scio : 
quae  mihist  spes,  qua  me  vivere  velim  ? 
nee  loci  gnara  sum,  nee  vidi  aut  hie  fui.  210 

saltem  aliquem  velim  qui  mihi  ex  his  locis 
aut  viam  aut  semitam  monstret,  ita  nunc 
hae  an  iliac  earn,  incerta  sum  consili ; 
nee  prope  usquam  hie  quidem  cultum  agrum  con- 

spicor. 
algor,  error,  pavor,  me  omnia  tenent. 
haec  parentes  mei  haud  scitis  miseri, 
me  nunc  miseram  esse  ita  uti  sum. 
Ubera  ego  prognata  fui  maxume,  nequiquam  fui. 
nunc  qui  minus  servio,  quam  si  serva  forem  nata  ? 
neque  quicquam  umquam  illis  profuit  qui  me  sibi 

eduxerunt. 

1.4. 

Amp.      Quid  mihi  meliust,  quid  magis  in  remst,  quam  a  cor- 

pore  vitam  ut  secludam  ?  220 

ita  male  vivo  atque  ita  mihi  multae  in  pectore  sunt 

curae  exanimales. 

306 


RUDENS 

myself  so  much ;  but  it  is  my  master's  vrickedness 
afflicts  me,  his  guilt  that  brings  me  misfortune. 

And  now  his  ship  is  sunk  and  all  he  o^vned; 
(survey insf  herself  despairingly)  here's  everything 
that's  left  him;  even  the  girl  with  me  in  that 
boat  fell  overboard.  And  now  I'm  all  alone  !  Oh, 
if  only  she  were  safe,  she'd  help  to  make  these 
troubles  more  bearable !  But  as  it  is,  what  hope 
or  counsel  can  I  find?  Oh,  to  be  alone  in  this 
lonely  place !  Nothing  but  those  rocks  and  that 
roaring  sea,  and  not  a  living  soul  in  sight ! 

These  clothes  that  I  have  on  are  absolutely  every- 
thing I  OAvn,  and  where  to  go  for  food  and  shelter 
I  can't  see.  What  have  I  left  to  live  for  now  ?  I 
don't  know  this  place,  never  saw  it,  never  came 
here.  If  there  was  only  someone  at  least  to  show 
me  a  road  or  a  path  out  of  here !  As  it  is  now,  I 
can't  tell  whether  to  go  this  way,  or  that.  And 
there's  no  land  about  here  anywhere  that  looks 
cultivated,  either.  I'm  cold,  and  lost,  and  fright- 
ened— tormented  every  way !  Ah,  my  poor  dear 
parents,  you  know  nothing  of  all  this,  know  nothing 
of  what  your  poor  daughter  is  undergoing.  No 
matter  how  freebom  I  was,  there's  no  help  in  that. 
How  am  I  less  a  slave  now  than  if  I  had  been  bom 
in  slavery?  Ah,  little  good  I've  ever  done  those 
that  brought  me  up !  (sinks  to  the  ground  sobbing) 

Scene  4.    enter  Ampelisca,  dragging  herself  from  another 

PART  of  the  shore. 

Amp.  \\Tiat's  better  for  me,  what's  more  fitting  than  to 
end  it  all  myself?  Life's  dreadful  as  it  is,  and  I'm 
half  dead  as  it  is,  with  all  these  frightful  fears.  The 

*  Leo  notes  lactma  here  in  A. 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

ita  res  se  habent :  vitae  hau  parco,  perdidi  spem  qua 

me  oblectabam. 
omnia  iam  circumcursavi  atque  omnibus  latebris 

perreptavi 
quaerere  conservam,  voce  oculis  auribus  ut  pervesti- 

garem. 
neque  earn  usquam  invenio  neque  quo  earn  neque 

qua  quaeram  consultumst, 
neque     quem    rogitem    responsorem    quemquam 

interea  convenio, 
neque  magis  solae  terrae  solae  sunt  quam  haec  loca 

atque  hae  regiones ; 
neque  si  vivit,  earn  viva  umquam  quin  inveniam 
desistam. 
Pal.         Quoianam  vox  mihi  prope  hie  sonat  ? 
Amp.       Pertimui,  quis  hie  loquitur  prope  ?  230 

Pal.         Spes  bona,  obsecro,  subventa  mihi, 

exime  ex  hoc  miseram  metu. 
Amp.       Certo  vox  muhebris  auris  tetigit  meas. 
Pal.         Mulier  est,  muhebris  vox  mi  ad  auris  venit. 

num  Ampehsca  obsecro  est  ? 
Amp.  Ten,  Palaestra,  audio? 

Pal.        Quin  voco,  ut  me  audiat,  nomine  illam  suo? 

Ampelisca. 
Amp.  Hem  quis  est  ? 

Pal.  Ego,  Palaestra.^ 

A77ip.      Die  ubi  es  ? 

Pal.  Pol  ego  nunc  in  malis  plurimis. 

A7np.      Socia  sum,  nee  minor  pars  meast  quam  tua. 

sed  videre  expeto  te. 
Pal.  Mihi  es  aemula.  240 

Amp.      Consequamur  gradu  vocem.     ubi  es  ? 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  Amp.  obsecro  Seyffert. 

308 


RUDENS 

way  things  are  I  have  no  \\'ish  to  live,  now  that  I've 
lost  the  hope  that  cheered  me.  I've  run  around 
everywhere  already,  crept  into  every  cranny  search- 
ing for  that  other  slave  girl,  and  called  and  looked 
and  listened,  trying  to  track  her  out.  And  I  can't 
find  her  anywhere,  and  I  can't  think  where  to  go 
and  hunt  for  her,  and  all  this  time  I  haven't  met  a 
soul  to  tell  me  what  I  want  to  know,  and  no  desert's 
more  deserted  than  it  is  here  and  all  about  here. 
(resolutely  taking  up  her  search  again)  And  if  she's 
alive,  and  I'm  alive,  I'll  never  give  up  until  I  find 
her. 

(roused  and  alarmed)  Whose  voice  is  that  I  hear 
near  by  ? 

(startled)  Dear  me !  That  scared  me !  Who's  that 
talking  near  by  ? 

Kind  Hope,  oh,  please  do  help  me!  Oh,  do,  do 
end  these  dreadful  fears ! 

Surely  that  was  a  woman's  voice  that  reached  my 
ears! 

A   woman!     It  was   a  woman's   voice   I   heard! 
Ampelisca  ?     Oh,  can  it  be  ?     (rises,  still  frightened) 
Palaestra  ?     Is  it  you  I  hear  ? 
Why  not  call  out  her  name  so  that  she  can  hear  me  ? 
{in  a  quavering  voice)  Ampelisca ! 
Oh,  oh!    Who  is  it? 

I Palaestra ! 

(not  seeing  her)  Tell  me  where  you  are. 

(looking  about  her)  Oh,  dear  me !     In  trouble,  awful 

trouble. 

I'm  in  it  with  you,  just  as  much.     Oh,  but  I  want  to 

see  you! 

No  more  than  I  do  you. 

Let's  follow  up  the  sound  of  each  other's  voice. 

(calling)  Where  are  you  ? 

309 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pal.  Ecce  me. 

accede  ad  me  atque  adi  contra. 
Amp.  Fit  sedulo. 

Pal.        Cedo  manum. 
Amp.  Accipe. 

Pal.  Die,  vivisne  ?  obsecro. 

Amp.      Tu  facis  me  quidem  ut  vivere  nunc  velim, 

quom  mihi  te  licet  tangere.     ut  vix  mihi 

credo  ego  hoc,  te  tenere.     obsecro,  amplectere, 

spes  mea.     ut  me  omnium  iam  laborum  levas. 
Pal.         Occupas  praeloqui  quae  mea  oratiost. 

nunc  abire  hinc  decet  nos. 
Amp.  Quo,  amabo,  ibimus  ? 

Pal.         Litus  hoc  persequamur. 
Amp.  Sequor  quo  lubet.  250 

sicine  hie  cum  uvida  veste  grassabimur  ? 
Pal.         Hoc  quod  est,  id  necessarium  est  perpeti. 

sed  quid  hoc,  obsecro,  est  ? 
Amp.  Quid  ? 

Pal.  Viden,  amabo, 

fanum  ^  hoc  ? 
Amp.  Vbi  est  ? 

Pal.  Ad  dexteram. 

Amp.      Video  decorum  dis  locum  viderier. 
Pal.         Haud  longe  abesse  oportet  homines  hinc,  ita  hie 
lepidust locus. 

quisquis  est  deus,  veneror  ut  nos  ex  hac  aerumna 
eximat, 

miseras  inopis  aeriminosas  ut  aliquo  auxilio  adiuvet. 

1.5. 

Ptol.        Qui  sunt  qui  a  patrona  preces  mea  expetessunt  ? 

nam  vox  me  precantum  hue  foras  excitavit.  260 

^  Leo  brackets  following  videane. 


RUDENS 

Here  I  am !    This  way.     Come,  come  meet  me ! 

{advancing  hesitantly)  I'm  doing  my  best,  {they  meet) 

(hardly  able  to  believe  her  eyes)  Give  me  your   .   .   . 

hand! 

Here! 

Tell  me,  tell  me — you're  really  alive  ? 

Ah,  it's  you  that  make  me  wish  to  be  so,  now  that 

I    can   touch    you !     Dear,    dear !     I    can   hardly 

beheve  it,  that  I'm  holding  you !     Oh,  hug  me, 

hug  me,  you  blessed  thing !     Oh,  how  you  lessen  all 

these  troubles  for  me ! 

You're  taking  the  words  right  out  of  my  mouth ! 

{rcitk  ajinal  squeeze)  Now  we  ought  to  get  out  of 

here. 

Yes,  but  where  to,  pray  ? 

Let's  follow  along  the  shore  here. 

I'll  follow  where  you  please.     Shall  we  tramp  along 

as  we  are  with  these  wet  clothes  ? 

One  has  to  take  things  as  they  come,  {they  make  for 

the  shore;  Palaestra  suddenly  stops)  Good  heavens, 

though !     What's  this  ? 

WTiat? 

Don't  you  see  it,  dear — this  shrine  ? 

\Miere  ? 

{pointing)  At  the  right! 

The  place  seems  fit  for  the  gods,  I  see  that. 

Human  beings  can't  be  far  away,  with  a  pretty 

place  like  that  here,  {reverently)  Whoever  this  god 

be,  I  entreat  him  to  bring  some  rehef  to  us  poor, 

helpless,  wretched  women  and  rescue  us  from  all 

this  wretchedness. 

Scene  5.  enter  Ptolemocratia  from  the  temple. 

Ptol.       {not  seeing  the  girls)  WTio  are  they  who  are  pleading 
for  the  favour  of  my  patroness  ?     It  was  the  sound 

3" 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

bonam  atque  obsequentem  deam  atque  baud  grava- 
tam 

patronam  exsequontur  benignamque  multiun. 
Pal.         lubemus  te  salvere,  mater. 
Ptol.  Salvete, 

puellae.     sed  unde 

vos  ire  ^  dicam,  obsecro,  tarn  maestiter  vestitas  ? 
Pal.         Ilico  bine  imus,  baud  longule  ex  boo  loco ; 

verum  longe  bine  abest  unde  advectae  buc  sumus. 
Ptol.        Nempe  equo  bgneo  per  vias  caerulas 

estis  vectae  ? 
Pal.  Admodum. 

Ptol.  Ergo  aequius  vos  erat 

candidatas  venire  hostiatasque.     ad  hoc  270 

fanum  ad  istunc  modum  non  veniri  solet. 
Pal.         Quaene  eiectae  e  mari  simus  ambae,  obsecro, 

unde  nos  bostias  agere  voluisti  buc  ? 

nunc  tibi  amplectimur  genua  egentes  opum, 

quae  in  locis  nesciis  nescia  spe  sumus, 

ut  tuo  recipias  tecto  servesque  nos 

miseriarumque  te  ambarum  uti  misereat, 

quibus  nee  locust  uUus  nee  spes  parata, 

neque  boc  amplius,^  quod  vides,  nobis  quicquamst. 
Piol.        Manus  mibi  date,  exurgite  a  genibus  ambae.  280 

misericordior  nulla  me  est  femiriarum. 

sed  baec  pauperes  res  sunt  inopesque,  puellae : 

egomet  meam  vix  vitam  colo ;   Veneri  cibo  meo 
servio. 
Amp.       Veneris  fanum,  obsecro,  boc  est  ? 
Ptol.       Fateor.     ego  buius  fani  sacerdos  clueo. 

verum,  quidquid  est,  comiter  fiet  a  me, 

quo  nunc  copia  valebit. 

ite  bac  mecum. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  cum  uvida  vesie. 
*  Leo  brackets  following  qitam. 
312 


RUDENS 

of  voices  raised  in  prayer  that  brought  me  out  here. 
The  goddess  they  seek  is  good  and  kind,  no  grudg- 
ing mistress,  but  a  very  gracious  one. 
(approaching  humbly)  Good-day  to  you,  mother. 
And  to  you,  my  girls,  (surveying  them)  But 
heavens !  Where  can  you  have  come  from  so 
sorrowly  attired? 

We've  just  come  from  close  by  here,  no  long  dis- 
tance :  but  the  place  we  were  brought  here  from  is 
a  long  way  off. 

Brought  by  "  wooden  steed  across  the  azure  main," 
I  suppose  ? 
Indeed  we  were. 

Then  it  had  been  more  fitting  for  you  to  come 
dressed  in  white  and  bringing  offerings.  It  is  not 
customary  to  visit  this  temple  in  such  a  state. 
But,  oh  dear,  where  would  you  have  us  bring 
offerings  from — two  girls  who  have  been  cast  up  by 
the  sea  ?  (they  sink  to  the  ground  before  her)  We  now 
clasp  your  knees,  and  in  our  utter  need,  not  know- 
ing where  we  are  or  what  to  expect,  we  entreat 
you  to  shelter  us  and  save  us  and  take  pity  on  us  in 
this  pitiful  state  of  ours,  •with  no  place  to  go  to,  no 
hope,  nothing  in  the  world  but  what  you  see ! 
(moved)  Come,  give  me  your  hands  and  get  up  off 
your  knees,  both  of  you!  (they  rise)  I'm  just  as 
compassionate  as  any  woman  can  be.  But  my 
means  are  small,  it's  little  I  have,  girls.  I  can 
barely  keep  body  and  soul  together;  it's  at  my 
own  expense  that  I  serve  Venus. 
Oh,  this  is  a  shrine  of  Venus,  then  ? 
It  is.  I  am  known  as  the  priestess  of  the  shrine. 
Poor  as  I  am,  though,  I  shall  do  whatever  I  can  to 
make  you  welcome.  Come  this  way  with  me. 
(moves  toward  temple) 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pal.  Amice  benigneque  honorem, 

mater,  nostrum  habes. 
Ptol.  Oportet. 

ACTVS   II 

Pise.        Omnibus  modis  qui  pauperes  sunt  homines  miseri 
vivont, 
praesertim  quibus  nee  quaestus  est,  nee  didicere 

artem  uUam : 
necessitate  quidquid  est  domi  id  sat  est  habendum, 
nos  iam  de  ornatu  propemodum  ut  locupletes  simus 

scitis : 
hisce    hami    atque    haec    harundines    sunt    nobis 

quaestu  et  cultu. 
cottidie  ^  ex  urbe  ad  mare  hue  prodimus  pabulatum : 
pro  exercitu  gymnastico  et  palaestrico  hoc  habemus  ; 
ecliinos,  lopadas,  ostreas,balanoscaptamus,  conchas, 
marinam  urticam,  musculos,  plagusias  striatas  ; 
post  id  piscatum  hamatilem  et  saxatilem  aggre- 

dimur. 
cibum  captamus  e  mari :  si  eventus  non  evenit 
neque  quicquam  captumst  piscium,  salsi  lautique 

pure 
domum  redimus  clanculum,  dormimus  incenati. 
atque  ut  nunc  vahde  fluctuat  mare,  nulla  nobis  spes 

est: 
nisi  quid  conclarum  capsimus,  incenati  sumus  pro- 

fecto. 
nunc  Venerem  hanc  veneremur  bonam,  ut  noslepide 

adiuerit  hodie. 

II.  2. 

Track.    Animum     adversavi     sedulo,     ne     erum     usquam 
praeterirem ; 
nam  cum  modo  exibat  foras,  ad  portum  se  aibat  ire, 
314 


RUDENS 

'a/.        It's  a  friendly,  kind  reception  you  give  us,  mother. 
Hoi       And  so  it  should  be.  [exeitot. 

ACT  II 

ENTER  A  GROUP  OF  FISHERMEN, 

''ishermen  Poor  folks  have  a  hard  life  of  it  every  way,  es- 
pecially if  they  haven't  any  regular  business  and 
never  learnt  a  trade.  Whatever  they  have,  that 
has  simply  got  to  do  for  'em.  As  for  us,  you  can 
just  about  tell  what  plutocrats  we  are  from  one 
look  at  our  get-up.  These  hooks  and  rods  here — 
that's  how  we  subsist  and  flourish.  Day  in  and 
day  out,  we  foot  it  over  from  the  city  to  the  sea 
here  to  do  some  foraging :  that's  our  exercise,  our 
physical  culture  and  wrestling.  The  parties  we  get 
a  hold  on  are  sea-urchins  and  limpets  and  oysters 
and  shell-fish  and  snails  and  sea-nettles  and  mussels 
and  fluted  scallops.  Then  we  take  to  fishing — the 
hook  and  rock  kind.  We  haul  our  food  from  the 
sea.  If  we  have  no  luck,  no  haul  at  all,  well,  we 
slink  back  home  nicely  cleaned  and  salted,  and  go 
to  sleep  omitting  supper.  And  there's  no  chance 
for  us  now  with  a  heavy  sea  like  this  running :  un- 
less we  find  some  shell-fish,  we're  certainly  a 
supperless  lot.  Now  let's  go  and  show  good  Venus 
here  we're  godly  men  so  that  she'll  be  gracious  and 
help  us  out  to-day.  {they  approach  the  temple) 

'cene  2.    enter  Trachalio,  looking  about  disappointedly. 

^rach.  I've  taken  no  end  of  pains  not  to  pass  master  any- 
where. When  he  went  out  awhile  ago,  he  said  he 
was  going  to  the  harbour  and  told  me  to  come  to 

*■  Cotidie  Camerarius  :  Leo  notes  lacuna  here. 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

me  hue  obviam  iussit  sibi  venire  ad  Veneris  fanum. 

sed  quos  percenter  commode  eccos  video  astare. 
adibo. 

salvete,  fures  maritimi,  conchitae  atque  hamiotae, 

famelica  hominum  natio.    quid  agitis  ?    ut  peritis  ? 
Pise.        Vt  piscatorem  aequomst,  fame  sitique.^ 
Track.    Ecquem   adulescentem 

hue,  dum  hie    astatis,  strenua  facie  rubicundum 
fortem, 

qui  tres  secum  homines  duceret  chlamydatos  ciun 
machaeris, 

vidistis  vos  venire  ?  ^ 
Pise.       Nullum  istac  facie  ut  praedicas  venisse  hue  scimus. 
Track.  Ecquem 

recalvom  ac  Silanum  senem,  statutum,  ventriosum, 

tortis  superciliis,  contracta  fronte,  fraudulentum, 

deorum  odium  atque  hominum,  malum,  mali  viti 
probrique  plenum, 

qui  duceret  mulierculas  duas  secum  satis  venustas  ? 
Pise.        Cum  istius  modi  virtutibus  operisque  natus  qui  sit, 

eum  quidem  ad  carnificem  est  aequius  quam  ad 
Venerem  commeare. 
Track.    At  si  vidistis,  dicite. 
Pise.  Hue  profecto  nuUus  venit. 

vale. 
Track.  Valete.     credidi :  factum  est  quod  suspicabar, 

data  verba  ero  sunt,  leno  abit  scelestus  exulatum, 

in  navem  ascendit,  mulieres  avexit :  hariolus  sum. 

is  hue  erum  etiam  ad  prandium  vocavit,  sceleris 
semen. 


^  Leo  brackets  following  speque  and  notes  lacuna  here,  and 
at  beginning  of  next  line. 
^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here. 


316 


RUDENS 

meet  him  at  the  temple  of  Venus  here,  (catching 
sight  of  the  fishermen)  Hullo,  though!  This  is 
lucky.  I  see  some  folks  over  there  I  can  inquire  of. 
Here  goes,  {approaching  fishermen,  bumptiously) 
WTiat  ho !  ye  maritime  marauders,  ye  Shell- 
and-Hookemites,  ye  of  the  starveling  brood !  How 
is  hfe  going  with  you?  How  is  death  coming  to 
you? 

{looking  at  him  disapprovingly)  In  the  regular  way, 
for  fishermen — by  hunger  and  thirst. 
Have  you  seen  a  young  fellow  come  along  while 
you've  been  standing  here,  a  lusty  chap  with  a  wide- 
awake look  and  a  fresh  complexion?  Had  three 
men  with  him — wearing  cloaks  and  swords ! 
No  one  of  that  description  has  come  this  way,  that 
we  know  of. 

Or  have  you  seen  an  old  Silenus  with  a  bald  fore- 
head, a  good-sized  fellow  ^vith  a  fat  belly  and  beetle 
brows  and  a  scowl,  a  detestable  swindler  that  smells 
to  heaven,  curse  him,  chock-full  of  cursed  \ice  and 
villainy,  that  had  a  couple  of  rather  sweet  young 
things  in  tow? 

{moving  off)  Really,  now,  a  man  gifted  with  a  list  of 
virtues  and  a  record  like  that  ought  to  be  on  his  way 
to  the  hangman's  instead  of  the  temple  of  Venus. 
But  tell  me  if  you've  seen  him. 
No  one  has  come  this  way,  that's  sure.     Good-day. 

[exexjnt  Fishermen, 
(calling  after  them)  Good-day !  (indignantly)  I 
thought  so !  Just  what  I  suspected !  Master's 
been  bamboozled,  the  pimp  has  skipped  the 
country,  the  rascal !  Taken  ship  and  taken  off  the 
girls  J  I'm  a  •wizard,  I  am.  Invited  master  here  to 
lunch,  too,  the  fount  of  infamy !    Well  now,  what 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nunc  quid  mihi  meliust,  quam  ilico  hie  opperiar 

erum  dum  veniat? 
eadem,  sacerdos  Veneria  haec  si  quid  amplius  scit, 
si  videro,  exquisivero  :  faciet  me  certiorem.  330 

II.  3. 

Amp.      Intellego:  hanc  quae  proxuma  est  villain  Veneris 
fano 

pulsare  iussisti  atque  aquam  rogare. 
Track,  Cuia  ad  auris 

vox  mi  advolavit  ? 
Amp.  Obsecro,  quis  hie  loquitur  ?     quem  ego  video  ? 

Track.    Estne  Ampelisca  haec  quae  foras  e  fano  egreditur  ? 
A7np.  Estne  hie 

Traehalio,  quem  conspicor,  calator  Plesidippi? 
Track.    East. 

A7np.  Is  est.     Traehalio,  salve. 

Track.  Salve,  Ampelisca. 

quid  agis  tu  ? 
Amp.  Aetatem  haud  malam  male. 

Track.  Melius  ominare. 

Amp.      Verum  omnes  sapientes  deeet  conferre  et  fabulari. 

sed  Plesidippus  tuos  erus  ubi,  amabo,  est  ? 
Track.  Heia  vero, 

quasi  non  sit  intus. 
Amp.  Neque  pol  est  neque  hue  quidem  ullus  venit.     340 

Track.    Non  venit  ? 
A77ip.  Vera  praedieas. 

Track.  Non  est  meum,  Ampelisca. 

sed  quam  mox  coctum  est  prandium  ? 
Amp.  Quod  prandium,  obsecro  te  ? 

Track.    Nempe  rem  divinam  facitis  hie. 
Amp.  Quid  somnias,  amabo? 


318 


!cene  3. 


Imp. 


RUDENS 

can  I  do  better  than  wait  right  here  till  master 
comes  ?  Yes,  and  if  this  priestess  knows  anything 
more,  and  I  see  her,  I'll  make  inquiries.  She'll 
inform  me. 

ENTER  Ampelisca,  carrying  a  pitcher,  into 

DOORWAY  OF  TEMPLE. 

(to  priestess  n-itkin)  I  understand:   I'm  to  knock  at 

the  cottage  here  next  to  the  temple  of  Venus  and 

ask  for  some  water. 

(striking  a  tragic  pose)  Hist !     Whose  winged  words 

were  those  ? 

(looking    about)  My    goodness!     WTio     was     that 

speaking  here?    Who's  that  I  see? 

Is  that  Ampehsca  coming  out  of  the  temple  ? 

Is  that  Trachalio  I'm  looking  at,  Plesidippus'  man? 

It  is! 

It  is !     Ah,  how  are  you,  Trachalio  ? 

And  you,  Ampelisca  ?     What  of  you  ? 

(snappishly)  I'm  finding  youth's  glad  season  bad. 

Don't  say  a  thing  like  that. 

All  sensible  people  should  state  and  communicate 

facts.     But  your  master  Plesidippus,  where  is  he, 

my  good  sir? 

Oh,  come  now !     Just  as  though  he  weren't  inside ! 

(indicating  the  temple) 

Indeed  he  is  not,  and  he  has  not  been  here  at  all, 

either. 

Hasn't  been  here? 

And  that's  the  truth  you're  telling. 

WTiich  is  not  a  habit  of  mine,  Ampelisca.     But  how 

soon  will  lunch  be  ready  ? 

Lunch?    Why,  what  lunch? 

Well,  of  coiu-se  you  folks  are  sacrificing  here. 

Man  ahve,  what's  this  dream  of  yours  ? 

319 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.    Certe  hue  Labrax  ad  prandium  vocavit  Plesidippum 

erum  meum  erus  vester. 
Amp.  Pol  haud  miranda  facta  dicis  ; 

si  deos  decepit  et  homines,  lenonum  more  fecit. 
Track.    Non  rem  divinam  facitis  hie  vos  neque  erus  ? 
Amp.  Hariolare, 

Track.    Quid  tu  agis  hie  igitur  ? 
Amp.  Ex  malis  multis  metuque  summo 

capitalique  ex  periculo  orbas   auxilique  opumque 
hue 

recepit  ad  se  Veneria  haec  sacerdos  me  et  Palae- 
stram. 
Track.    An  hie  Palaestrast,  obsecro,  eri  mei  amica  ? 
Amp.  Certo. 

Track.    Inest  lepos  in  nuntio  tuo  magnus,  mea  Ampelisca. 

sed  istuc  periclum  perlubet  quod  fuerit  vobis  scire. 
Amp.       Confracta  est,  mi  Trachalio,  hac  nocte  navis  nobis. 
Track.    Quid  navis  ?     quae  istaec  fabulast  ? 
Amp.  Non  audivisti,  amabo, 

quo  pacto  leno  clanculum  nos  hinc  auferre  voluit 

in   Siciliam  et  quidquid  domi  fuit  in  navem  im- 
posivit  ? 

ea  nunc  perierunt  omnia. 
Track.  Oh,  Neptune  lepide,  salve, 

nee  te  aleator  nullus  est  sapientior ;  profecto 

nimis  lepide  iecisti  bolum  :  periurum  perdidisti. 

sed  nunc  ubi  est  leno  Labrax  ? 
Amp.  Periit  potando,  opinor. 

Neptunus  magnis  poculis  hac  nocte  eum  invitavit. 
Track.    Credo  hercle  anancaeo  datum  quod  biberet.    ut  ego 
amo  te, 

mea  Ampelisca,  ut  dulcis  es,  ut  mulsa  dicta  dicis. 


320 


RUDENS 

VflcA.    Surely  your  master,  Labrax,  in\ited  my  master, 

Plesidippus,  to  lunch  here. 
rnp.      Oh,  well,  there's  nothing  surprising  in  that.     If  he 

has  cheated  gods  and  men,  it's  all  in  the  day's  work 

for  a  pimp. 
Vach.    You're  not  offering  sacrifice  here,  you  or  your 

master  ? 

You're  a  clairvoyant. 

Then  what  are  you  doing  here  ? 

When  we  were  in  awful  trouble,  and  mortal  terror 

and  danger  of  death,  absolutely  helpless  and  desti- 
tute, the  priestess  of  Venus  here  saved  us  and  took 

us  in — Palaestra  and  me. 
HrocA.    Palaestra  ?     Master's  girl .''     You  mean  to  say  she's 

here  ? 
Imp.      Certainly. 
'^rach.    You  dear  thing,  what  perfectly  delightful  news ! 

But  that  danger  of  yours — I'd  very  much  like  to 

hear  about  it. 
Imp.      (impressively)  Last  night,  Trachalio  mine,  our  ship 

was  wrecked. 

Hey  ?     Ship  ?    What's  this  wild  tale  ? 

Why,  mercy  on  us,  haven't  you  heard  how  the  pimp 

wanted  to  get  us  quietly  off  to  Sicily  and  loaded  a 

ship  with  everything  he  owned  ?     And  now  it's  all 

lost. 

(elated)  Ah,  Neptune,  you're  a  beauty,  bless  you ! 

You're  an  expert  with  the  dice,  none  better !  Lord, 

Lord,  that  was  a  beautiful  throw  of  yours !     You 

laid  a  liar  low.     But  where  is  pimp  Labrax  at 

present  ? 

He  died  of  drink,  I  fancy.    Those  were  real  bumpers 

Neptune  treated  him  to  last  night. 

Gad !     A  case  of  no  heeltaps  !    (hugging  her)    Oh, 

how  I  love  you,  Ampelisca  dear,  how  sweet  you  are, 

321 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

sed  tu  et  Palaestra  quomodo  salvae  estis  ? 
Amp.  Scibis  faxo. 

de  navi  tiinidae  ambae  in  scapham  insiluimus,  quia 

videmus 
ad  saxa  navem  ferrier;   properans  exsolvi  restim, 
dum  illi  timent ;  nos  cum  scapha  tempestas  dextro- 

vorsum 
diflPert  ab  illis.     itaque  nos  ventisque  fluctibusque 
iactatae    exemplis    plurimis    miserae    perpetuam 

noctem ; 
vix  hodie  ad  litus  pertulit  nos  ventus  exanimatas. 
Track.    Novi,  Neptunus  ita  solet,  quamvis  fastidiosus 

aedilis  est :    si  quae  improbae  sunt  merces,  iactat 
omnis. 
Amp.      Vae  eapiti  atque  aetati  tuae. 

Track.  Tuo,  mea  Ampelisca. 

scivi  lenonem  facere  hoc,  quod  fecit,  saepe  dixi ; 
capillum  promittam  optimumst  oeeipiamque  hario- 
lari. 
Amp.      Cavistis  ergo  tu  atque  erus  ne  abiret,  cum  scibatis  ? 
Track.    Quid  faceret  ? 

Amp.  Si  amabat,  rogas,  quid  faceret  ?  adservaret 

dies  noctesque,  in  custodia  esset  semper,    verum 

ecastor 
ut  multi  fecit  ita  probe  curavit  Plesidippus. 
Track.    Cur  tu  istuc  dicis  ? 
Amp.  Res  palam  est. 

Track.  Scin  tu  ?   etiam  qui  it  lavatum 

in  balineas,  cum  ibi  sedulo  sua  vestimenta  servat, 
tamen    surripiuntur,   quippe    qui    quem    illorum 

observet  falsust ; 
fur   facile  qui  observat  videt:  custos   qui  fur  sit 

nescit. 
sed  duee  me  ad  illam  ubi  est. 


322 


RUDENS 

what  words  of  Avine  and  honey !     But  how  were  you 

and  Palaestra  saved? 

{importantly,  releasing  herself)  It  was  this  way.   We 

were  both  frightened  and  jumped  into  the  ship's 

boat,  on  seeing  the  ship  driven  toward  the  rocks. 

I  hurried  and  unhitched  the  rope  in  the  general 

fright,  and  the  storm  carried  us  and  the  boat  off  to 

the  right,  away  from  them.     So  the  whole  livelong 

night  we  were  tossed  about  by  the  wind  and  waves, 

and  oh,  what  didn't  we  go  through !     The  wind 

finally  did  bring  us  ashore  this  morning  more  dead 

than  alive. 

{unfeelingly)  I  see.     Just  hke  old  Neptune  !     He's 

a  most  conscientious  market  inspector :   all  trashy 

goods  go  overboard. 

(indignantly)  Bad  luck  to  you ! 

(grinning)  To  you,  Ampehsca  dear!  (complacently) 

I  knew  the  pimp  was  up  to  this.     Just  what  I  said, 

time  and  again.     I  ought  to  let  my  hair  grow  and 

set  up  for  a  fortune-teller. 

(sarcastic)  So  you  and  your  master  took  care  that  he 

shouldn't  get  away,  knowing  that  ? 

What  could  he  have  done  ? 

Done,  you  say  ?     If  he  loved  her  ?     He  should  have 

kept  watch  day  and  night.     He  should  have  been 

on  guard  always.     The  fine  care  Plesidippus  took 

of  her  quite  matches  his  affection,  yes,  indeed. 

WTiat  makes  you  say  that? 

The  plain  facts. 

(protestingly)  But  don't  you  see  ?    Why,  even  a  man 

that  goes  to  the  baths  to  bathe,  and  keeps  a  sharp 

eye  on  his  clothes,  has  'em  stolen  just  the  same,  not 

being  sure  which  of  the  crowd  to  watch.     The  thief 

can  easily  see  the  man  that's  watching :   the  man 

that's  keeping  watch  can't  spot  the  thief.     But 

take  me  to  where  she  is. 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Amp.  I  sane  in  Veneris  fanum  hue  intro, 

sedentem  flentemque  opprimes. 
Track.  Vt  iam  istue  mihi  molestumst. 

sed  quid  flet? 
Amp.  Ego  dicam  tibi :  hoc  sese  excruciat  animi, 

quia  leno  ademit  cistulam  ei,  quam  habebat  ubique 
habebat 

qui  suos  parentis  noscere  posset :  earn  veretur  390 

ne  perierit. 
Track.  Vbinam  ea  fuit  cistellula  ? 

Amp.  Ibidem  in  navi. 

conclusit  ipse  in  vidulum,  ne  copia  asset  eius, 

qui  suos  parentes  nosceret. 
Track.  O  facinus  impudicum. 

quam  liberam  esse  oporteat  servire  postulare. 
Ainp.       Nunc  eam  cum  navi  scilicet  abiisse  pessum  in  altum. 

et  aurum  et  argentum  fuit  lenonis  omne  ibidem. 
Track.  Credo  aliquem  immersisse  atque  eum  excepisse. 
A77ip.  Id  misera  maestast, 

sibi  eorum  evenisse  inopiam. 
Track.  Iam  istoc  magis  usus  factost, 

ut  eam  intro  consolerque  eam,  ne  sic  se  excruciet 
animi ; 

nam    multa     praeter    spem     scio     multis     bona 
evenisse.  400 

Amp.       At    ego    etiam,  qui    speraverint    spem    decepisse 

multos. 
Track.    Ergo    animus     aequos    optimum     est     aerumnae 
condimentum. 

ego  eo  intro,  nisi  quid  vis. 
Amp.  Eas.    ego  quod  mihi  imperavit 

sacerdos,  id  faciam  atque  aquam  hinc  de  proximo 
rogabo ; 

nam   extemplo,   si   verbis   suis   peterem,   daturos 
dixit. 

324 


RUDENS 


Imp. 


Just  go  into  the  temple  of  Venus  here ;  youTl  find 
her  sitting  there  crying. 

Dear,  dear,  now  I  don't  like  that !  What's  she 
crying  about,  though  ? 

Well,  she's  frightfully  upset  because  the  pimp  took 
away  a  casket  she  kept,  in  which  she  kept  some 
things  that  would  help  her  to  discover  her  parents. 
She's  afraid  that  it's  lost. 
Ah,  and  where  was  this  little  casket  ? 
There  on  the  ship.  Master  put  it  away  in  his  trunk 
so  that  she  wouldn't  have  any  means  of  discovering 
her  parents. 

Oh,  what  a  dirty  trick — to  claim  a  girl's  his  slave 
when  she  ought  to  be  free ! 

Now  it  has  gone  to  the  bottom  of  the  sea  along  with 
the  ship,  of  course.  And  all  the  pimp's  gold  and 
silver  was  in  it  too. 

(encouragingly)  I  dare  say  someone  has  dived  down 
and  got  it. 

That's  what  distresses  her,  poor  dear — having  those 
things  got  away  from  her. 

Then  that's  all  the  more  reason  for  my  going  in  and 
cheering  her  up  so  that  she  won't  be  so  frightfully 
upset.  For  "  many  a  stroke  of  luck  has  come  to 
many  a  hopeless  man  " — I  know  that. 
But  "  many  a  hopeful  man  has  hope  beguiled  "— 
that's  something  I  know. 

Well  then,  "  self-control  best  sweetens  trouble." 
I'm  going  in,  if  there's  nothing  I  can  do  for 
you. 

Go  on.  [exit  Trachalio  into  temple. 

I'll  do  as  the  priestess  ordered  and  ask  for  some 

water  at  the  house  next  door  here.     She  told  me 

they'd  give  it  to  me  at  once  if  I  mentioned  her 


325 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

neque  digniorem  censeo  vidisse  anum  me  quem- 

quam, 
cui  deos  atque  homines  censeam  bene  facere  magis 

decere. 
ut  lepide,   ut  liberaliter,  ut  honeste  atque  baud 

gravate 
timidas  egentes  uvidas  eiectas  exanimatas 
accepit  ad  sese,  baud  secus  quam  si  ex  se  simus 

natae ; 
ut     eapse    sic    suecincta     aquam    calefactat,    ut 

lavemus. 
nunc  ne  morae  illi  sim,  petam  bine  aquam,  unde  mi 

imperavit. 
beus  ecquis  in  villast  ?  ecquis  boc  recludit  ?  ecquis 
prodit  ? 
II.  4. 
Seep.       Quis  est  qui  nostris    tarn    proterve    foribus    facit 

iniuriam  ? 
Ajnp.       Ego  sum. 
Seep.  Hem,  quid  boc  boni  est  ?  eu  edepol  specie 

lepida  muUerem. 
Amp.      Salve,  adulescens. 

Seep.  Et  tu  multum  salveto,  adulescentula. 

Amp.      Ad  vos  venio. 

Seep.  Accipiam  bospitio,  si  mox  venies  vesperi,^ 

item  ut  adfectam ;  nam  nunc  nibil  est  qui  te  mane 

munerem.2 
sed  quid  ais,  mea  lepida,  bilara  ? 
Amp.  Aba,  nimium  familiariter 

me  attrectas. 
Seep.  Pro  di  immortales,  Veneris  effigia 

baec  quidem  est. 

^  vesferi  Libri  Veteres  :   Leo  notes  lacuna  here. 

*  inane  munerem  Hildebrand :     Leo  writes  manem  and 
notes  lacuna. 
326 


RUDENS 

name.  I  think  I  never  did  see  a  dearer  old  lady, 
one  I  think  more  deserving  of  all  the  good  things 
gods  and  man  can  give.  How  sweetly  and  kindly 
and  graciously  and  gladly  she  took  us  in,  poor,  wet, 
frightened  castaways  that  we  were,  only  half  alive. 
She  acted  just  as  if  we  were  her  own  daughters. 
And  then  her  tucking  up  her  clothes  that  way  and 
heating  water  for  our  bath !  (moving  on)  But  I 
mustn't  delay  her,  I'll  ask  for  the  water  here  where 
she  said,  {knocks  at  Daemones'  door)  Hello!  Is 
anyone  at  home?  Open  the  door,  won't  you? 
Won't  somebody  come? 

Scene  4. 

Seep.      {gruffly i  nithin)  Who's  that  making  so  devilish  free 

•with  our  door? 
Amp.      {sweetly)  It's  me. 

ENTER  Scepamio  rapidly. 

Seep.  Oho  !  WTiat  good  luck  is  this  ?  {ogles  her  apprecia- 
tively) Hurray!  A  woman,  a  pretty  woman, 
upon  my  soul ! 

Amp.      {tvith  dignity)  Good-morning,  sir. 

Seep.      And  a  very  good  one  to  yourself,  my  Uttle  lady. 

Amp.      I've  come  to  your  house ■ 

Seep.  And  I'll  entertain  you  like  a  regular  queen  if  youll 
come  a  little  later,  in  the  evening.  \VTiy,  in  these 
morning  hours  I  can't  treat  you  properly.  Well, 
how  about  it,  my  gay  httle  beauty  ?  (tries  to  embrace 
her) 

Amp.  {pulling  away)  The  idea,  sir!  You're  much  too 
familiar  with  your  hands ! 

Seep.  Ye  immortal  gods !  She's  the  very  image  of  Venus. 
Just  see  that  merry  twinkle  in  her  eye !     My  word ! 

3«7 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ut  in  ocellis  hilaritudo  est,  heia,  corpus  cuius  modi, 
subvolturium — illud     quidem,    subaquilum     volui 

dicere. 
vel  papillae  cuius  modi,  turn  quae  indoles  in  saviost. 
Amp.       Non  ego  sum  pollucta  pago.    potin  ut  me  abstineas 

manum  ? 
Seep.       Non  licet  saltern  sic  placide  bellam  belle  tangere  ? 
Amp.       Otium  ubi  erit,  tum  tibi  operam  ludo  et  deliciae 
dabo ; 
nunc  quam  ob  rem  hue  sum  missa,  amabo,  vel  tu 
mi  aias  vel  neges. 
Seep.       Quid  nunc  vis  ? 

Amp.  Sapienti  ornatus  quid  velim  indicium  facit. 

Seep.       Meus  quoque  hie  sapienti  ornatus  quid  velim  in- 
dicium facit. 
Amp.       Haec  sacerdos  Veneris  hinc  me  petere  aquam  iussit 

a  vobis.^ 
Seep.       At  ego  basilicus  sum :  quern  nisi  oras,  guttam  non 
feres, 
nostro  ilium  puteum  periclo  et  ferramentis  fodimus. 
nisi  multis  blanditiis  a  me  gutta  non  ferri  potest. 
Amp.      Cur  tu  aquam  gravare,  amabo,  quam  hostis  hosti 

commodat  ? 
Seep.       Cur  tu  operam  gravare  mihi  quam  civis  civi  com- 
modat ? 
Amp.       Immo  etiam  tibi,  mea  voluptas,  quae  voles  faciam 

omnia. 
Seep.       Eugepae,  salvos  sum,  haec  iam  me  suam  voluptatem 
vocat. 
dabitur  tibi  aqua,  ne  nequiquam  me  ames.     cedo  mi 
urnam. 
Amp.  Cape. 

propera,  amabo,  efferre. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  sibi  Leo. 
328 


RUDENS 

And  that  complexion !     A  beauty,  a  real  doughnut 
— no,  no,  I  mean  chestnut — beauty  !    Will  you  look 
at  that  bust !    And  those  lovely  lips !  (seizes  her) 
(struggling  to  free  herself)  I'm  no  ploughland  picnic  ! 
Do  keep  your  hands  off  me,  can't  you  ? 
Can't  a  fellow  even  give  a  nice  little  girl  a  nice 
little  squeeze — real  gentle,  like  that  ? 
(pretending  to  acquiesce)  Yes,  yes,  we'll  have  a  per- 
fectly lovely  time  together  when  I'm  not  busy. 
But  just  at  present  do  please  say  yes  or  no  to  what 
I  was  sent  here  for. 

And  what  do  you  want  j  ust  at  present  ? 
(showing  the  pitcher)  A  sensible  person  could  see 
what  I  want  from  what  I'm  carrying. 
Yes,  and  a  sensible  person  could  see  what  I  want 
from  the  way  I  'm  carrying  on. 
I  was  told  to  come  to  you  for  some  water,  told  by 
the  priestess  of  Venus  here. 

But  I'm  the  one  that's  Lord  High  Everything  here. 
Unless  you  coax  me,  you  won't  get  a  drop.  We 
dug  that  well  at  our  own  cost  with  our  owti  tools. 
Not  a  drop  do  you  get  unless  you  say  all  sorts  of 
nice  things  to  me. 

My  dear  man,  why  grudge  me  a  little  water,  when 
strangers  are  free  enough  with  that  ? 
Why  grudge  me  a  Uttle  favour,  when  friends  are 
free  enough  ■with  them  ? 

Oh,  but  I  don't,  sweetheart.  I'll  do  anything  for 
you,  anything  you  please. 

(aside)  Fine,  fine!  I'm  getting  on!  Now  she's 
calling  me  her  sweetheart !  (aloud)  You  shall  have 
your  water  ;  I  won't  let  you  love  me  all  for  nothing. 
Hand  me  the  pitcher. 

Here,  (gives  it  to  him  and  he  goes  toward  house)  Do 
hurry  with  it,  there's  a  dearl 

3«9 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Seep.  Manta,  iam  hie  ero,  voluptas  mea. 

Amp.       Quid  sacerdoti  me  dicam  hie  demoratam  tarn  diu  ?        440 
ut  etiam  nunc  misera  timeo,  ubi  oculis  intueor  mare, 
sed  quid  ego  misera  video  proeul  in  htore  ?  450 

meima  erum  lenonem  Siciliensemque  hospitem, 
quos  periisse  ambos  misera  eensebam  in  mari. 
iam  illud  mali  plus  nobis  vivit  quam  ratae. 
sed  quid  ego  cesso  fugere  in  fanum  ae  dicere  haec 
Palaestrae,  in  aram  ut  confugiamus  prius  quam  hue  ^ 
scelestus  leno  veniat  nosque  hie  opprimat  ? 
confugiam  hue,  ita  res  suppetit  subitaria.^ 

II.  5. 

Seep.       Pro  di  immortales,  in  aqua  numquam  eredidi 

voluptatem  inesse  tantam.     ut  hanc  traxi  lubens. 

nimio  minus  altus  puteus  visust  quam  prius.  460 

ut  sine  labore  hanc  extraxi !  praefiscine ! 

satin  nequam  sum,  ut  pote  qui  hodie  amare  in- 
ceperim  ? 

em  tibi  aquam,  mea  tu  belliata.     em  sic  volo 

te  ferre  honeste,  ut  ego  fero,  ut  placeas  mihi. 

sed  ubi  tu  es,  delicata  ?  cape  aquam  hanc  sis.   ubi  es  ? 

amat  hercle  me,  ut  ego  opinor.   delituit  mala. 

ubi  tu  es  ?    etiamne  hanc  urnam  acceptura  es  ? 
ubi  es  ? 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  prius  in  aram  ut  confugiamus  quam  hue 
Schoell. 
*  subitaria  Ussing  :  Leo  writes  sitbit  and  notes  lacuna. 


RUDENS 

'cep.  Stay  here.  I'll  be  back  in  just  a  minute — {fondly) 
sweetheart !  [exit  Sceparruo. 

mp.  WTiat  excuse  shall  I  give  the  priestess  for  having 
stopped  here  so  long  ?  (glancing  toward  the  coast- 
line) Oh  dear,  how  frightened  I  do  get  even  now 
when  I  catch  sight  of  the  sea !  (rvith  a  start)  But 
good  heavens !  WTiat's  that  away  down  the  shore 
there  ?  It's  my  master,  the  pimp,  and  his  friend 
from  Sicily  !  Oh-oh !  And  I  thought  the  both  of 
them  were  drowned !  Now  that  means  more 
trouble  for  us  than  we  counted  on !  But  I  must  run 
to  the  temple  and  tell  Palaestra  so  that  we  can  run 
to  the  altar  for  refuge  before  that  dreadful  pimp 
comes  and  catches  us  here !  (hurrying  away)  Yes, 
I'll  take  refuge  here,  it's  all  so  sudden ! 

[exit  into  temple. 

cene  5.  re-enter  Scepamio  with  the  pitcher. 

'cep.  {aside,  very  blithe)  Ye  immortal  gods !  I  never 
dreamt  there  was  anything  so  wonderful  about 
water.  WTiat  fun  it  was  drawing  this  up !  The 
well  didn't  seem  anything  like  as  deep  as  it  used  to 
be.  ^^^ly,  it  was  no  work  at  all  drawing  this  up. 
Lord  save  us,  but  ain't  I  just  the  de\il  of  a  fellow 
with  this  flirtation  I've  got  into  to-day !  (aloud) 
Here  you  are  !  Here's  your  water,  my  prettikins  ! 
(putting  the  pitcher  an-kwardly  on  his  head)  There ! 
■riiat's  how  I  want  you  to  carry  it — graceful,  just 
hke  me.  That's  the  way  to  make  me  love  you. 
(looking  about)  But  where  are  you,  frisky?  Take 
the  water  here,  won't  you?  \Miere  are  you? 
(aside)  She's  in  love  with  me!  By  Jupiter!  I  do 
believe  she  is.  Playing  hide  and  seek,  the  rogue. 
(aloud)  Where  are  you?  See  here,  aren't  you 
going  to  take   this   pitcher?      Where    are    you? 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

commodule  ludis.     tandem  vero  serio, 
etiam  acceptura  es  urnam  banc  ?  ubi  tu  es  gentium  ? 
nusquam  hercle  equidem  illam  video,  ludos  me  facit. 
adponam  hercle  urnam  iam  ego  hanc  in  media  via. 
sed  autem,  quid  si  hanc  hinc  abstulerit  quispiam, 
sacram  urnam  Veneris  ?   mi  exhibeat  negotium. 
metuo  hercle  ne  ilia  mulier  mi  insidias  locet, 
ut  comprehendar  cum  sacra  uma  Veneria. 
nempe  optimo  me  iure  in  vinclis  enicet 
magistratus  si  quis  me  hanc  habere  viderit. 
nam  haec  litteratast,  eapse  cantat  cuia  sit. 
iam  hercle  evocabo  hinc  hanc  sacerdotem  foras, 
ut  hanc  aceipiat  urnam.     accedam  hue  ad  fores. 
heus  exi,  Ptolemocratia,  cape  hanc  urnam  tibi : 
muliercula  hanc  nescio  quae  hue  ad  me  detulit. 
intro  ferundast.     repperi  negotium, 
siquidem  his  mihi  ultro  adgerunda  etiam  est  aqua. 

II.  6. 

Lahr.      Qui  homo  sese  miserum  et  mendicum  volet,^ 
Neptuno  credat  sese  atque  aetatem  suam : 
nam  si  quis  cum  eo  quid  rei  commiscuit, 
ad  hoc  exemplum  amittit  ornatum  domum. 
edepol,  Libertas,  lepida  es,  quae  numquam  pedem 
voluisti  in  navem  cum  Hercule  una  imponere. 
sed  ubi  ille  meus  est  hospes,  qui  me  perdidit  ? 
atque  eccum  incedit. 

^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  hominem  sese  Bothe. 

*  The  sllosion  is  obscure. 
332 


RUDENS 

You  smart  little  tease!  Oh,  I  say  now,  really, 
seriously !  See  here,  aren't  you  going  to  take  this 
pitcher?  Where  on  earth  are  you?  I  don't  see 
her  anywhere,  I  certainly  don't,  dash  it !  She's 
making  fun  of  me.  I'll  put  this  pitcher  right  dowTi 
in  the  middle  of  the  road  this  minute,  by  Jupiter ! 
Hold  on,  though,  what  if  someone  carried  it  off — 
the  sacred  pitcher  of  Venus  ?  That  would  make  a 
mess  for  me.  Oh  Lord !  I'm  afraid  that  woman  is 
setting  a  trap  so  that  I'll  get  caught  with  Venus' 
sacred  pitcher  on  me.  Sure  enough,  the  magis- 
trate would  have  a  perfect  right  to  tie  me  up  and 
take  my  head  off,  if  anyone  saw  me  vriih  it.  (looks 
pitcher  over  and  sees  inscription  on  it)  Ha  !  A  lettered 
pitcher !  It  lets  out  who  its  owner  is  itself,  (nearly 
collapses)  My  goodness!  I'm  going  to  call  this 
priestess  out  at  once  and  have  her  take  her  pitcher. 
I'll  just  step  up  to  the  door  here,  (knocking  fran- 
tically) Hey !  Ptolemocratia !  Come  on  out  and 
get  vour  pitcher  here,  (yelling  more  loudly)  Some 
wench  brought  it  over  to  me !  I  don't  know  who 
she  was.  (waits  a  moment,  then  disgustedly)  It's  got 
to  be  carried  in.  A  nice  job  I've  struck,  if  I've 
actually  got  to  go  ahead  and  lug  their  water  for  'em, 
too.  [exit  into  temple. 

6.  ENTER  Labrax,  wet  and  dejected. 

If  anyone's  looking  for  blight  and  beggary,  just  let 
him  trust  himself,  body  and  soul,  to  Neptune.  I 
tell  you  what,  if  anyone  gets  mixed  up  in  any  deal- 
ings with  him,  he's  sent  back  home  in  a  mess  hke 
this.  My  word,  Liberty,  you're  a  clever  one — 
never  wanting  to  set  foot  on  board  ship  along  with 
Hercules  !  ^  But  where 's  that  guest  of  mine  that  has 
been  the  ruination  of  me  ?  (looks  back  n-ith  a  snort  of 
anger)  Ah,  there  he  is,  sauntering  along. 

333 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Charm.  Quo  malum  properas,  Labrax? 

nam  equidem  te  nequeo  consequi  tam  strenue. 
Lahr.      Vtinam  te  prius  quam  oculis  vidissem  meis, 

malo  cruciatu  in  Sicilia  perbiteres, 

quem  propter  hoc  mihi  optigit  misero  mali. 
Charm.   Vtinam,  quom  in  aedis  me  ad  te  adduxisti  tuas, 

in  careere  illo  potius  cubuissem  die. 

deosque  immortales  quaeso,  dum  vivas  uti 

omnes  tui  similes  hospites  habeas  tibi.  500 

Lahr,      Malam  fortunam  in  aedis  te  adduxi  meas. 

quid  mihi  scelesto  tibi  erat  auscultatio, 

quidve  hinc  abitio  quidve  in  navem  inscensio  ? 

ubi  perdidi  etiam  plus  boni  quam  mihi  fuit. 
Charm.   Pol  minime  miror,  navis  si  fractast  tibi, 

scelus  te  et  sceleste  parta  quae  vexit  bona. 
Lahr.      Pessum  dedisti  me  blandimentis  tuis. 
Charm.  Scelestiorem  cenam  cenavi  tuam, 

quam  quae  Thyestae  quondam  aut  posita  est  Tereo. 
Lahr.      Perii,  animo  irale  fit.    contine  quaeso  caput.  510 

Charm.   Pulmoneum  edepol  nimis  velim  vomitum  vomas. 
Lahr.      Eheu,  Palaestra  atque  Ampelisca,  ubi  estis  nunc  ? 
Charm.   Piscibus  in  alto,  credo,  praebent  pabulimi. 
Lahr.      Mendicitatem  mi  optulisti  opera  tua, 

dum  tuis  ausculto  magnidicis  mendaciis. 

^  The  bodies  of  their  own  sons. 
334 


RUDENS 


ENTER  Charmides,  wet  and  cold,  but  nonchalant. 
Where  the  deuce  are  you  rushing   to,   Labrax? 
Really,  you  know,  I  can't  keep  up  with  you  at  such 
a  gait. 

{shaking  his  fist)  Oh,  if  you  had  only  been  hung  for 
a  damned  rascal  in  Sicily  before  I  ever  set  eyes  on 
you,  you  that  got  me  into  this  damned  fix,  poor 
\^Tetch  that  I  am  ! 

{mockingly)  Oh,  if  I  had  only  made  my  bed  in  jail 
instead,  that  day  you  took  me  to  your  house !  I 
pray  the  everlasting  gods  that  all  the  guests  you 
have  for  evermore  may  be  just  such  specimens  as 
yourself. 

It  was  Bad  Luck  I  took  into  my  house  when  I  took 
you  there.  Oh,  why  was  I  such  a  cursed  fool  as  to 
listen  to  you  ?  WTiy  did  I  leave  home  ?  Why  did 
I  go  on  board  that  ship?  Where  I've  lost  all  I 
owned  and  more,  too ! 

Gad!  I  don't  wonder  at  all  that  your  ship  was 
wrecked,  \Nith  a  rascal  like  you  and  your  rascally 
gains  aboard. 

It  was  those  alluring  lies  of  yours  that  did  for  me. 
Yes,  and  the  food  you  fed  me  was  more  accursed 
than  that  ^  once  served  to  Thyestes  or  Tereus. 
{affecting  nausea  at  the  allusion)  Oh  dear,  oh  dear !  I 
feel  sick !  Do  please  hold  my  head ! 
Let  'er  go,  lungs  and  all!  Lord!  Just  what  I'd 
like! 

{rvailing)  Oh  dear,  oh  dear!  Oh,  Palaestra,  Am- 
pelisca,  where  are  you  now  ? 

{cheerfully)  Furnishing  food  to  fish  in  the  sea, 
probably. 

Ugh,  thanks  to  you!  It's  listening  to  you  and 
your  flattering  flimflam  that  has  left  me  flat. 

335 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Charm.   Bonam  est  quod  habeas  gratiam  merito  mihi, 

qui  te  ex  insulso  salsum  feci  opera  mea. 
Lahr.      Quin  tu  hinc  is  a  me  in  maxumam  malam  crucem  ? 
Charm.   Eas.    easque  res  agebam  commodum. 
Lahr.      Eheu,  quis  vivit  me  mortalis  miserior  ?  520 

Charm.   Ego  multo  tanto  miserior  quam  tu,  Labrax. 
Labr.      Qui  ? 

Charm.  Quia  ego  indignus  sum,  tu  dignus  qui  sies. 

Labr.      O  scirpe,  scirpe,  laudo  fortunas  tuas, 

qui  semper  servas  gloriam  aritudinis. 
Charm.  Equidem  me  ad  velitationem  exerceo, 

nam  omnia  corusca  prae  tremore  fabulor. 
Lahr.       Edepol,  Neptune,  es  balineator  frigidus  : 

cum  vestimentis  postquam  aps  te  abii,  algeo. 
Charm.   Ne  thermipolium  quidem  ullum  instruit, 

ita  salsam  praehibet  potionem  et  frigidam.  530 

Lahr.      Vt  fortunati  sunt  fabri  ferrarii, 

qui  apud  carbones  adsident :   semper  calent. 
Charm.   Vtinam  fortuna  nunc  anetina  uterer, 

ut  quom  exiissem  ex  aqua,  arerem  tamen. 
Lahr.      Quid  si  aliquo  ad  ludos  me  pro  manduco  locem  ? 
Charm.  Quapropter? 

Lahr.  Quia  pol  clare  crepito  dentibus. 

Charm.   lure  optumo  me  elavisse  arbitror. 
Lahr.      Qui  ? 
Charm.  Qui  una  auderem  tecum  in  navem  ascendere, 

qui  a  fundamento  mi  usque  movisti  mare. 


Z2>(^ 


RUDENS 

Charm.  You  ought  to  be  extremely  grateful  to  me :    you 

used  to  be  an  old  dryasdust,  and  now,  thanks  to 

me,  you're  positively  wetty. 

You  just  get  to  the  devil  out  of  here  and  leave  me 

alone ! 

Yes,  do.     Precisely  what  I  was  about  to  suggest. 

Oh-h-h !  What  man  ahve's  more  miserable  than  me  ? 

I  am,  Labrax — ever  so  much  more. 

How? 

Charm.  Because  I  don't  deserve  misery  and  you  do. 
LM.hr.      (wringing    out    his    clothes)  Ah,    bulrush,    bulrush, 

you're  in  luck,  to  always  stay  so  gloriously  dry ! 
Charm,  (snnnging  his  arms  to  get  warm)     I  must  be  training 

for   the    .    .    .    infantry.      I'm    shivering   so    that 

everything  I  say  has   .    .    .   rattles. 
Labr.      Lord,   Neptune !     You're   a   cold  .  .  .  bathman ! 

I've  been  .  .  .  freezing  ever  since  I  left  you,  even 

with  my  clothes  on. 
Charm.  And  he  doesn't  set  up  any  hot-drinks  counter, 

either.     The  kind  of  hquor  he  serves  is  .  .  .  salty 

ice-water. 
Labr.      Ah,  blacksmiths  are  fortunate  fellows,  round  a  .   .  . 

fire  all  the  time,  always    .    .    .   warm ! 
Charm.  Oh,  for  the  luck  of  a    .    .    .    duck !     To  come  out 

of  the  water,  yet  not  be   .    .    .   wet ! 
Labr.      Howabouthiringmyself  out  atsomefair  asa  .   .   . 

wild  man  ? 
Charm.  Why  that? 
Labr.      Gad!     Because  of  the  grand  way  I   .   .    .   gnash 

my  teeth. 
Charm.  I  suppose  it  serves  me  right  to  get   .   .    .   cleaned 

out  like  this. 
Labr.      How  so? 
Charm.  For  having  consented  to  go  on  board  a  ship  with 

.   .   .   you,  that  completely  upset  the  sea  for  me. 

337 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Labr.      Tibi  auscultavi,  tu  promittebas  mihi  540 

illi  esse  quaestum  maximum  meretricibus, 

ibi  me  conruere  posse  aiebas  ditias. 
Charm.  lam  postulabas  te,  impurata  belua, 

totam  Siciliam  devoraturum  insulam  ? 
Labr.      Quaenam  ballaena  meum  voravit  vidulum, 

aurum  atque  argentum  ubi  omne  compactum  fuit  ? 
Charm.  Eadem  ilia,  credo,  quae  meum  marsuppium, 

quod  plenum  argenti  fuit  in  sacciperio. 
Labr.      Eheu,   redactus   sum   usque   ad   unam   banc   tuni- 
culam 

et  ad  hoc  misellum  pallium,     perii  oppido.  550 

Charm.  Vel  consociare  mihi  quidem  tecum  licet : 

aequas  habemus  partes. 
Labr.  Saltem  si  mihi 

mulierculae  essent  salvae,  spes  aliquae  forent. 

nunc  si  me  adulescens  Plesidippus  viderit, 

quo  ab  arrabonem  pro  Palaestra  acceperam, 

iam  is  exhibebit  hie  mihi  negotium. 
Charm.  Quid,  stulte,  ploras  ?   tibi  quidem  edepol  copiast, 

dum  lingua  vivet,  qui  rem  solvas  omnibus. 

II.  7. 

Seep.       Quid  illuc,  opsecro,  negotist  quod  duae  mulierculae 

hie  in  fano  Veneris  signum  flehtes  amplexae  tenent,  560 
nescio  quem  metuentes  miserae?    nocte  hac  aiunt 

proxuma 
se  iactatas,  atque  eiectas  hodie  esse  aiunt  e  marl. 

Labr.      Opsecro   hercle,   adulescens,   ubi  istaec  sunt   quas 
memoras  mulieres  ? 

Seep.       Hie  in  fano  Veneris. 

Labr.  Quot  sunt  ? 

Seep.  Totidem  quot  ego  et  tu  sumtis. 


338 


RUDENS 

Labr.      It  was  your  ad\'ice  I  followed.     You  kept  promising 

there'd  be  all  sorts  of  money  in  slave  girls  there ; 

I  could  just  rake  in  the  cash,  according  to  you. 
Charm.  So  you  counted  on  swallo^Wng  down  the  whole 

island  of  Sicily  at  one  gulp,  you  dirty  beast  ? 
Labr.      (lugubriously)  I  wonder  what  whale  has  swallowed 

my  trunk,  packed  with  all  my  gold  and  silver. 
Charm,  (lightly)  Probably  the  same  one  that  got  the  purse 

full  of  silver  that  was  in  my  bag. 
Lahr.      Oh  dear  me!     I'm  down  to  this  one  poor  little 

tunic    and   this   wretched   rag   of  a   cloak!     I'm 

ruined,  utterly  ruined! 
Charm.  Yes,  and  I  might  very  well  go  into  partnership  with 

you :   we're  both  on  the  same  basis. 
Labr.      Oh,  if  I  only  had  the  girls  safe  anyhow,  there'd  be 

some  hope  !     (groaning)  As  it  is,  if  young  Plesidip- 

pus   sees   me,   me   that   took   part   payment   for 

Palaestra  from  him,  he'll  make  trouble  for  me 

instantly ! 
Charm.  Why  blubber,  you  ninny  ?     Lord,  man,  you've  got 

enough  to  pay  off  everyone,  so  long  as  that  tongue 

of  yours  will  wag. 

ENTER  Sceparmo  from  temple. 

Scene  7. 

Seep.  (soliloquizing)  WTiat  the  devil's  it  all  about — two 
girls  here  in  the  temple  of  Venus  crying  and  clinging 
to  her  statue,  and  scared  to  death  of  someone  ? 
Say  they  were  tossed  about  by  the  storm  last  night 
and  cast  ashore  this  morning,  so  they  say. 

Labr.  (rushing  up)  My  goodness !  Look  here,  young 
fellow,  where  are  those  women  you  mention? 

Seep.       (brusquely)  Here  in  the  temple  of  Venus. 

Labr.      How  many  are  there? 

Seep.      As  many  as  you  and  I,  so  many. 

339 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Lahr.      Nempe  meae  ? 
Seep.  Nempe  nescio  istuc. 

Labr.  Qua  sunt  facie  ? 

Seep.  Scitula. 

vel  ego  amare  utramvis  possum,  si  probe  adpotus 
siem, 
Labr.      Nempe  puellae  ? 

Seep.  Nempe  molestus  es.     i  vise,  si  lubet. 

Labr.      Meas  oportet  intus  esse  hie  mulieres,  mi  Charmides. 
Charm.  luppiter  te  perdat,  et  si  sunt,  et  si  non  sunt  tamen. 
Labr.      Intro  rumpam  iam  hue  in  Veneris  fanum. 
Charm.  In  barathrum  mavelim.  570 

opsecro,  hospes,  da  mihi  aliquid  ubi  condormiscam 
loci. 
Seep.       Istic  ubi  vis  condormisce  ;  nemo  prohibet,  publicum 

est. 
Charm.  At  vides  me  ornatus  ut  sim  vestimentis  uvidis : 

recipe  me  in  tectum,  da  mihi  vestimenti  aliquid 

aridi, 
dum  arescunt  mea;   in  aliquo  tibi  gratiam  referam 
loco. 
Seep.      Tegillum  eccillud,  mihi  unum  id  aret ;    id  si  vis, 
dabo : 
eodem  amictus,  eodem  tectus  esse  soleo,  si  pluit. 
tu  istaec  mihi  dato  :   exarescent  faxo. 
Charm.  Eho  an  te  paenitet, 

in  mari  quod  elavi,  ni  hie  in  terra  iterum  eluam  ? 
Seep.       Eluas  tu  an  exunguare,  ciccum  non  interduim.  580 

tibi  ego  numquam  quicquam  credam,  nisi  si  accepto 
pignore. 

340 


RUDENS 

Mbr.      {eagerly)  They're  mine,  surely ! 

cep.       I  surely  don't  know  that. 

xibr.      WTiat  do  they  look  like  ? 

'cep.  Pretty  neat.  I'd  manage  to  make  love  to  either 
one  of  'em  myself — if  I  was  good  and  drunk. 

.abr.      Surely,  they're  young  ones.'' 

'cep.  You're  surely  a  pest.  Go  and  have  a  look,  if  you 
want. 

.abr.  (ecstatic)  They're  my  women !  They  must  be  my 
women  in  here,  Charmides,  old  chap ! 

'harm.  Whether  they  are  or  are  not,  in  either  case  you 
be  damned ! 

abr.      I'll  burst  into  this  temple  of  Venus  this  minute ! 

'harm.  Wish  it  were  into  the  bottomless  pit ! 

[exit  Labrax  into  temple. 
(to  Sceparnio)  I  say,  mine  host,  let  me  have  some 
sort  of  place  where  I  can  go  to  sleep. 

icep.  Go  to  sleep  there,  wherever  you  like;  nobody's 
stopping  you :    it's  a  thoroughfare. 

'harm.  But  you  see  my  fix,  dressed  in  these  dripping 
clothes.  Take  me  into  your  house  and  give  me 
something  dry  to  put  on  while  my  own  things  are 
drying.     I'll  do  as  much  for  you  some  time. 

)cep.  {picking  up  a  coarse  mat  from  the  ground)  There's  a 
rush  blanket;  it's  the  only  dry  thing  I've  got. 
Take  it,  if  you  want.  It's  what  I  use  for  a  cloak, 
it's  what  I  wrap  round  me  when  it  rains.  Give  me 
those  things  of  yours.  Til  get  'em  well  dried. 
{tries  to  strip  Charmides) 

Charm,  (pushing  him  off)  Hold  on  there!  Now  that  I've 
been  cleaned  out  at  sea,  aren't  you  content  with- 
out my  being  cleaned  out  ashore  here  too  .'' 

Seep.  (turning  away  disgustedly)  I  don't  care  a  peppercorn 
whether  you're  cleaned  out  or  wped  out.  Never  a 
thing  '11  I  trust  to  a  man  like  you,  unless  I  get 

341 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

tu  vel  suda  vel  peri  algu,  vel  tu  aegrota  vel  vale, 
barbarum   hospitem    mi    in    aedis    nil    moror,     sat 

litiumst. 
Charm.  lamne  abis  ?   venalis  illic  ductitavit,  quisquis  est ; 

non  est  misericors.     sed  quid  ego  hie  asto  infelix 

uvidus  ? 
quin  abeo  hue  in  Veneris  fanum,  ut  edormiscam 

banc  crapulam, 
quam  potavi  praeter  animi  quam  libuit  sententiam  ? 
quasi  vinis  Graecis  Neptunus  nobis  suffudit  mare, 
itaque  alvom  prodi  speravit  nobis  salsis  poculis ; 
quid  opust  verbis  ?  si  invitare  nos  paulisper  pergeret,  590 
ibidem    obdormissemus :     nunc    vix    vivos    amisit 

domum. 
nunc    lenonem    quid    agat    intus    visam,    convivam 

meum. 

ACTVS   III 

Daem.    Miris  modis  di  ludos  faciunt  hominibus :  * 
ne  dormientis  quidem  sinunt  quiescere. 
velut  ego  hac  nocte  quae  praecessit  proxima 
mirum  atque  inscitum  somniavi  somnium. 
ad  hirundininum  nidum  visa  est  simia 
ascensionem  ut  faceret  admolirier  ^ 

neque  eas  eripere  quibat  inde.     postibi  600 

videtur  ad  me  simia  adgredirier, 
rogare  scalas  ut  darem  utendas  sibi. 
ego  ad  hoc  exemplum  simiae  respondeo,^ 
natas  ex  Philomela  ^  atque  ex  Progne  esse  hirun- 

dines. 
ago  cum  ilia,  ne  quid  noceat  meis  popularibus. 

1  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  594  : 
miriftque  exemplis  soninia  in  somnis  danunt. 
^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  in  A. 
3  Corrupt  (Leo) :  Attica  Schoell. 

342 


RUDENS 

security.  You  can  sweat  or  freeze  to  death,  get 
sick  or  well.  I'll  have  no  guests  from  foreign  parts 
in  the  house.     And  that's  final. 

[exit  Scepamio  into  cottage. 
(calling  after  him)  So  you're  going,  eh  ?  (dryly,  as  he 
disappears)  That  fellow  has  been  a  slave-trader, 
whoever  he  is — perfectly  heartless.  Well,  what's 
the  use  of  standing  around  in  this  cursed  state, 
dripping  ?  Why  not  drop  into  Venus'  temple  here 
and  sleep  off  this  souse,  which  has  been  a  bigger  one 
than  I  really  cared  for?  Neptune  poured  sea 
water  into  us  as  though  we  were  Greek  wines — 
hoped  to  settle  our  stomachs  that  way,  by  giving 
us  a  dose  of  salts.  And  how  he  did  it !  If  he  had 
kept  on  entertaining  us  a  Httle  longer  we'd  have 
dropped  asleep  on  the  spot.  As  it  is,  he  let  us  go 
home  aUve,  barely.  Now  for  a  look  in  here  at  the 
doings  of  the  pimp,  my  pot  companion. 

[exit  into  temple. 

ACT  III 

enter  Daemones  from  his  cottage. 

The  gods  do  produce  strange  plays  for  us  humans.^ 
They  don't  even  let  us  sleep  in  peace.  Take  my 
OAftTi  case — ^just  this  past  night  I  dreamed  a  strange, 
uncanny  dream.  I  seemed  to  see  a  monkey  trying 
to  climb  up  to  some  swallows'  nest.  But  she 
couldn't  pull  them  out.  After  a  while  the  monkey 
approached  me,  so  it  seemed,  and  asked  for  the 
loan  of  a  ladder.  I  answered  her  to  the  effect  that 
swallows  were  descendants  of  Philomela  and  Procne : 
I  pleaded  with  her  not  to  inj  ure  my  compatriots.   At 

^  The  strange  sorts  of  dreams  they  send  as  in  oar  sleep. 

343 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


III.  2. 

Track. 


Daem. 
Track. 

Daem. 


atque  ilia  animo  iam  fieri  ferocior ; 

videtur  ultro  mihi  malum  minitarier. 

in  ius  vocat  med.     ibi  ego  nescio  quo  modo 

iratus  videor  mediam  arripere  simiam ; 

conclude  in  vincla  bestiam  nequissimam.  610 

nunc  quam  ad  rem  dicam  hoc  attinere  somnium, 

numquam  hodie  quivi  ad  coniecturam  evadere. 

sad  quid  hie  in  Veneris  fano  meae  viciniae 

clamoris  oritur  ?   animus  miratur  meus. 


Pro   Cyrenenses   populares,   vostram    ego   imploro 

fidem, 
agricolae,  accolae  propinqui  qui  estis  his  regionibus, 
ferte  opem  inopiae  atque  exemplum  pessumum  pes- 

sum  date, 
vindicate,  ne  impiorum  potior  sit  pollentia 
quam  innocentum,  qui  se  scelere  fieri  nolunt  nobiles. 
statuite   exemplum   impudenti,   date   pudori   prae- 

mium, 
facite  hie  lege  potius  liceat  quam  vi  victo  vivere. 
currite    hue    in    Veneris    fanum,    vostram    iterum 

imploro  fidem, 
qui    prope    hie    adestis    quique    auditis    clamorem 

meum, 
ferte  suppetias  qui  Veneri  Veneriaeque  antistitae 
more    antiquo    in    custodelam    suom    commiserunt 

caput, 
praetorquete   iniuriae   prius    collum   quam   ad   vos 

pervenat. 
Quid  istuc  est  negoti  ? 

Per  ego  haec  genua,  te  optestor,  senex, 
quisquis  es — 

Quin  tu  ergo  omitte  genua  et  quid  feit  mi  expedi 
quod  tumultues. 

344 


RUDENS 

that  her  insolence  increased ;  she  seemed  to  grow 
aggressive  and  threatened  to  thrash  me.  She 
summoned  me  to  court.  Then  somehow  or  other, 
growing  angry,  it  seemed  I  grabbed  the  monkey 
around  the  middle  and  put  the  vile  beast  in  chains. 
Now  what  I'm  to  take  this  dream  to  mean,  I  haven't 
been  able  to  divine  all  day.  {the  noise  of  a  scuffle  in 
the  temple)  But  what's  that  racket  right  over  there 
in  the  temple  of  Venus  ?    Astonishing ! 

ne  2.  ENTER  Trachalio  excitedly  from  temple. 

Track,  {harvling  out  in  rrild  burlesque  of  the  tragic  style)  Ho ! 
Ye  citizens  of  Cyrene!  Save  us,  I  implore  you! 
Ye  rustics,  ye  who  dwell  in  the  vicinity  of  this 
locality,  succour  the  succourless,  and  give  a  devil 
hell !  Help !  Help !  Let  not  the  power  of  the  im- 
pious be  more  potent  than  that  of  the  innocent 
creatures  who  wish  not  the  notoriety  of  being 
victims  of  villainy !  Make  an  example  of  impu- 
dence and  give  pudency  its  recompense !  See  ye 
to  it  that  men  may  hve  here  under  law,  and  not  as 
objects  of  oppression !  Here,  to  the  fane  of  Venus, 
run !  Again  I  implore  your  aid,  ye  who  are  hard 
by  and  hear  my  cries !  Bring  assistance  to  those 
who,  according  to  ancient  custom,  have  consigned 
themselves  to  the  custody  of  Venus  and  the 
ministress  of  Venus !  Wring  the  neck  of  iniquity 
before  it  reaches  yourselves ! 

Daem.    (mystified)  What's  all  that  about? 

Track,  (throning  his  arms  around  Daemones'  legs)  I  beseech 
you  by  these  your  knees,  old  gentleman,  whoever 
you  be 

Daem.  (trying  to  extricate  himself)  Come,  come,  now,  let  go 
my  knees  and  hurry  up  and  tell  me  what  it  is  you're 
roaring  about. 

345 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.  Teque  oro  et  quaeso,  si  speras  tibi 

hoc  anno  multum  futurum  sirpe  et  laserpicium 
eamque  eventuram  exagogam  Capuam  salvam  et 

sospitem, 
atque  ab  lippitudine  usque  siccitas  ut  sit  tibi,^ 
ut  te  ne  pigeat  dare  operam  mihi  quod  te  orabo, 
senex. 
Daem.    At  ego  te  per  crura  et  talos  tergumque  obtestor 
tuom, 
ut,  tibi  ulmeam  ni  deesse  speres  virgidemiam 
et  tibi  eventuram  hoc  anno  uberem  messem  mah, 
ut  mi  istuc  dicas  negoti  quid  sit,  quod  tumultues. 
Track.    Qui  lubet  maledicere  ?    equidem  tibi  bona  optavi 

omnia. 
Daem.    Bene  equidem  tibi  dico,  qui  te  digna  ut  eveniant 

precor. 
Track.    Obsecro,  hoc  praevortere  ergo. 
Daem.  Quid  negotist  ? 

Track.  Mulieres 

duae    innocentes    intus    hie    sunt,    tui    indigentes 

auxili, 
quibus  advorsum  ius  legesque  insignite  iniuria  hie 
facta   est   fitque   in   Veneris   fang ;     tum   sacerdos 

Veneria 
indigne  adflictatur. 
Daem.  Quis  homo  est  tanta  confidentia, 

qui  sacerdotem  violare  audet  ?   sed  eae  mulieres 
quae  sunt  ?   aut  quid  is  iniqui  fit  ? 
Track.  Si  das  operam,  eloquar. 

Veneris  signum  sunt  amplexae.     nunc  homo  auda- 

cissimus 
eas  deripere  volt,     eas  ambas  esse  oportet  liberas. 

^  Leo  brackets  following  v.,  633  : 
Daem.      Sanun  es  ? 
Trach.  Sen  tibi  confidia  Jore  multam  magudarim. 

346 


RUDENS 

(still  struggling  with  Daemones'  knees)  I  beg  and  en- 
treat you,  if  you  hope  to  have  a  good  supply  of 
silphium  and  silphium  juice  this  year  and  to  ensure 
its  exportation  safe  and  sound  to  Capua,  and  so 
that  you  may  enjoy  a  perpetual  drouth  in  respect 
to  bleary  eyes,^  that  you  will  not  be  loath  to  do  me 
the  service  which  I  am  about  to  ask  of  you,  old 
gentleman ! 

(angrily)  Yes,  and  I  beseech  you  by  your  shanks 
and  heels  and  hide,  that,  if  you  don't  hope  to  have 
a  bad  supply  of  birch  rods  and  ensure  a  bounteous 
crop  of  welts  this  year,  that  you  tell  me  what  you're 
roaring  about. 

(sobered)  What    makes    you    abuse    me?     I    only 
wished  you  everything  that's  good. 
I'm  only  a-blessing  you — praying  you'll  get  what 
you  deserve. 

Now  do  see  to  this,  for  mercy's  sake ! 
What  is  the  matter  ? 

Two  innocent  women  are  inside  here  and  they  need 
your  help.  They've  been  injured  infamously  here 
against  all  law  and  justice,  and  it's  going  on  in  the 
temple  of  Venus.  And  the  priestess  of  Venus  is 
being  outrageously  treated,  too. 
(indignantly)  Who's  the  man  reckless  enough  to 
dare  lay  hands  on  the  priestess  ?  But  who  are 
those  women?  How  are  they  being  injured? 
Listen  and  I'll  tell  you.  They're  clinging  to  the 
statue  of  Venus.  And  now  a  barefaced  rascal 
wants  to  tear  them  away.  And  the  both  of  them 
ought  to  be  free  by  right. 

1  V.  633 : 
Are  you  in  your  senses  T 
Or  if  you  expect  to  have  a  large  supply  of  silphium  seed. 

347 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Daem.    Quis  istic  est  qui  deos  tam  parvi  pendit?    paucis 

expedi. 
Track.    Fraudis  sceleris  parricidi  periuri  plenissimus, 
legirupa  impudens  impurus  inverecundissimus, 
uno  verbo  absolvam,  lenost :   quid  ilium  porro  prae- 
dicem  ? 
Daem.    Edepol  infortunio  hominem  praedicas  donabilem. 
Track.    Qui  sacerdoti  scelestus  faucis  interpresserit. 
Daem.    At  malo  cum  magno  suo  fecit  hercle.     ite  istinc 
foras, 
Turbalio,  Sparax.     ubi  estis  ? 
Track.  I  obsecro  intro,  subveni 

illis. 
Daem.         Iterum  haud  imperabo.     sequimini  hac. 
Track.  Age  nunciam, 

iube  oculos  elidere,  itidem  ut  sepiis  faciunt  coqui. 
Daem.    Proripite  hominem  pedibus  hue  itidem  quasi  occisam 

suem. 
Track.    Audio  tumultum.     opinor,  leno  pugnis  pectitur. 

nimis  velim  improbissimo  homini  malas  edentaverint. 
sed   eccas   ipsae  hue   egrediuntur  timidae   e  fano 
mulieres. 

III.  3. 

Pal.        Nunc  id  est  cum  omnium  copiarum  atque  opum, 
auxili,  praesidi  viduitas  nos  tenet, 
nulla  nunc  speculast  quae  salutem  aiferat, 
nee  quam  in  partem  ingredi  persequamur 
348 


RUDENS 


Who  is  that  man  that  so  scorns  the  gods  ?     Make  it 

short! 

A  cheat  and  villain,  a  perjured,  parricidal  monster, 

lawless,  impudent, impure,  impious  past  all  telling — 

in  one  word,  a  pimp.     Why  describe  him  further  ? 

Bless  my  soul !     From  your  description  he  ought  to 

be  presented  with  a  hanging. 

A  criminal  who  would  choke  a  priestess  ! 

But  he  shall  pay  for  it  in  full,  by  heaven  !  (shouting 

at  the  door  of  his  cottage)  Turbalio  !    SparaxI    Come 

out  here  !     Where  are  you  ?  v 

Go  in  and  save  them,  for  mercy's  sake! 

{shouting  again)  I  won't  repeat  my  orders ! 

ENTER   TWO    HUGE   SLAVE   OVERSEERS. 

Step   along — this   way !     (goes  rvtth   slaves   toward 

temple) 

(trotting  at  a  safe  distance  behind  them)  And  see  here 

now,  tell  them  to  beat  his  eyes  out  the  same  as  cooks 

do  to  cuttle-fish. 

(to  the  slaves)  Pitch  him  out  here  by  the  heels  like  a 

stuck  pig. 

[exeunt  Daemones  and  slaves  into  temple. 
(listening)  Aha!  A  disturbance  !  Methinks  they're 
tanning  the  pimp  with  their  fists.  I  only  hope 
they've  knocked  the  teeth  out  of  his  jaws,  the  dirty 
scoundrel ! 

enter  Palaestra  and  Ampelisca  from  the  temple. 
Hullo,  though !     Here  come  the  women  themselves 
in  a  fright. 

Scene  3. 

Pal.  Nothing  is  left  us  now,  not  a  single  resource,  no  one 
to  help  us  or  protect  us  !  Not  the  slightest  hope  of 
safety  have  we,  and  we  don't  know  where  to  try  to 

349 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

scimus :   tanto  in  metu  nunc  sumus  ambae, 

tanta  importunitas  tantaque  iniuria 

facta  in  nos  est  modo  hie  intus  ab  nostro  ero,  670 

qui  scelestus  sacerdotem  anum  praecipes 

reppulit  propulit  perquam  indignis  modis 

nosque  ab  signo  intimo  vi  deripuit  sua. 

sed  nunc  sese  ut  ferunt  res  fortunaeque  nostrae, 

par  moriri  est.     neque  est  melius  morte  in  malis, 

rebus  miseris. 
Track.  Quid  est  ?   quae  illaec  oratiost  ? 

cesso  ego  has  consolari?     heus,  Palaestra, 
Pal.  Qui  vocat? 

Track.    Ampelisca. 

Amp.  Obsecro,  quis  est  qui  vocat  ? 

Pal.        Quis  is  est  qui  nominat.'' 
Track.  Si  respexis,  scies. 

Pal.        O  salutis  meae  spes. 
Track.  Tace  ac  bono  animo  es. 

me  vide. 
Pal.  Si  modo  id  liceat,  vis  ne  opprimat,  680a 

quae  vis  vim  mi  afFeram  ipsa  adigit. 
Track.  Ah,  desine,  nimis  inepta  es. 

Pal.        Desiste  dictis  nunciam  miseram  me  consolari ; 

nisi   quid   re   praesidium   apparas,   Trachalio,   acta 
haec  res  est. 
Amp.      Certumst  moriri  quam  hunc  pati  saevire  lenonem 
in  me. 

sed   muliebri    animo    sum   tamen :     miserae    quom 
venit  in  mentem 

mihi  mortis,  metus  membra  occupat.    edepol  ^  hunc 
acerbum. 
Track.    Bonum  animum  habete. 
Pal.  Nam,  obsecro,  unde  animus  mi  invenitur  ? 

^  Leo    notes    lacuna   here :     edepol    nunc  datur  acerbum 
Leo. 


Imp. 


RUDENS 

go !     Oh,  it's  so  dreadful  for  us  both,  master  was  so 

rough  and  brutal  with  us  in  there  just  now !     Why, 

the  ruthless  monster  threw  the  poor  old  priestess 

about  every  way  in  perfectly  outrageous  fashion, 

and  dragged  us  away  from  the  statue  in  the  very 

inmost  shrine  by  main  strength !     But  seeing  how 

things  are  and  how  fate  treats  us,  death  is  welcome. 

Desperate,   distracted  creatures   can   do   nothing 

better  than  die. 

(aside)  Eh?     What  sort  of  language  is   that?     I 

must  go  cheer  them  up.  (approaching  from  behind) 

Hey !     Palaestra !  (the  girls  cower) 

Who's   calling? 

Ampelisca ! 

For  mercy's  sake,  who  is  it  calUng? 

Who  is  it  spoke  my  name  ? 

Look  round  and  you'll  learn. 

(turning)  Oh,  my  hope,  my  hope  of  safety ! 

"There,  there,  be  quite  easy  !  (throning  out  his  chest) 

Leave  it  all  to  me ! 

Ah,  yes,  if  I  could  only  be  relieved  from  fear  of 

violence — violence  that  forces  me  to  do  violence  on 

myself! 

Oh,  stop  it !     You're  absolutely  silly. 

You  stop  trying  to  talk  me  into  good  spirits  at 

an  awful  time  Uke  this.      You  must  actually  do 

something   to   protect   us,   Trachalio,    or    it's    all 

over! 

One  thing's  sure.  111  die  sooner  than  let  this  pimp 

vent  his  rage  on  me !     And  yet  I  have  a  woman's 

feelings,   after   all — when   the   thought   of  dving 

comes  to  me  it's  terrible,  I  tremble  all  over.     Oh, 

dear,  dear !     This  dreadful  day  1 

Keep  up  your  courage,  girls. 

Ah,  but  where  on  earth  can  I  find  any  courage  ? 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.    Ne,  inquam,  timete  ;   adsidite  hie  in  ara. 
Amp.  Quid  istaec  ara 

prodesse  nobis  plus  potest  quam  signum  in  fano  hie 

intus 
V'eneris,  quod  amplexae  modo,  unde  abreptae  per 

vim  miserae  ?  690 

Track.    Sedete    hie    modo,    ego    hinc    vos    tamen    tutabor. 

aram  habete  hane 
vobis  pro  castris,  moenia  hinc  ego  vos  defensabo ; 
praesidio  Veneris  mahtiae  lenonis  eontra  incedam. 
Pal.        Tibi  auscultamus  et,  Venus  alma,  ambae  te  obse- 

cramus, 
aram  amplexantes  hane  tuam  laerumantes,  genibus 

nixae, 
in  custodelam  nos  tuam  ut  reeipias  et  tutere ; 
illos  seelestos,  qui  tuom  fecerunt  fanum  parvi, 
fae   ut   uleiseare   nosque    ut   hane   tua   pace   aram 

obsidere 
patiare :     elautae    ambae    sumus    opera     Neptuni 

noctu, 
ne  invisas  habeas  neve  ideireo  nobis  vitio  vortas,        700 
si   quippiamst,   minus   quod   bene   esse   lautum   tu 

arbitrare. 
Track.    Venus,  aequom  has  petere  intellego :    deeet  abs  te 

id  impetrari ; 
ignoscere  his  te  eonvenit :    metus  has  id  ut  faeiant 

subigit. 
te  ex  eoneha  natam  esse  autumant,  cave  tu  harum 

conchas  spernas. 
sed  optume  cecum  exit  senex,  patronus  mihique  et 

vobis. 
III.  4. 
Daem.    Exi   e   fano,   natum   quantum   est  hominum  sacri- 

legissime. 
vos  in  aram  abite  sessum.     sed  ubi  sunt? 
352 


RUDENS 

ach.  Don't  be  afraid,  I  tell  you.  Sit  by  the  altar  here. 
{leads  them  to  the  altar) 

ip.  How  can  that  altar  help  us  any  more  than  the 
statue  inside  the  temple  of  Venus  here?  That's 
what  we  poor  girls  were  clinging  to  just  now — and 
we  were  dragged  away  by  brute  strength. 

ack.  (very  bold  and  superior)  Just  you  sit  down  here. 
From  this  position  I'll  defend  you,  come  what  may. 
Regard  this  altar  as  your  camp,  {squares  off)  Here 
I  stand  to  champion  you,  this  arm  your  rampart. 
With  Venus'  aid  \^ill  I  defy  the  pimp's  iniquity. 

:/.  Yes,  yes,  we  will !  And  kindly  Venus,  we  two  girls 
do  tearfully  entreat  thee,  as  we  kneel  and  clasp  this 
altar  of  thine,  to  take  us  in  thy  custody  and  defend 
us.  Wreak  vengeance  on  the  wicked  men  who 
have  scorned  thy  shrine,  and  in  thy  good  grace  let 
this  altar  be  our  refuge.  We  were  both  stripped 
clean  last  night  by  Neptune,  so  be  not  offended 
with  us,  hold  us  not  at  fault  for  this,  if  there  be 
anything  about  us  which  thou  dost  think  uncleanly. 

'■ach.  {airily)  Venus,  I  consider  this  a  perfectly  fair  re- 
quest ;  it's  one  you  ought  to  grant.  The  proper 
thing  for  you  to  do  is  pardon  them  :  it's  fear  compels 
'em  to  act  this  way.  Folks  say  you  were  bom  of 
an  oyster :  don't  be  above  mothering  these  pearls. 
{the  temple  door  opens)  Here's  luck,  though  !  There 
comes  the  old  man  that  has  been  the  friend  of  us 
all. 

Scene  4.    enter  Daemones  followed  by  Labrax  in  the 

GRIP   of   the   slaves. 

aem.  {to  Labrax)  Come  on  out  of  the  temple,  you  godless 
enormity  !  And  you  girls  go  sit  down  at  the  altar. 
WTiere  are  they,  though  ? 

353 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.  Hue  respice. 

Daevi.    Optume,    istuc    volueramus.     iube    modo    accedat 
prope. 

tun  legirupionem  hie  nobis  cum  dis  facere  postulas  ? 

pugnum  in  os  impinge. 
Labr.  Iniqua  haec  patior  eum  pretio  tuo.  710 

Daem.    At  etiam  minitatur  audax  ? 
Labr.  lus  meum  ereptum  est  mihi, 

meas  mihi  ancillas  invito  me  eripis. 
Track.  Cedo  iudicem 

de  senatu  Cyrenensi  quemvis  opulentum  virum, 

si  tuas  esse  oportet  nive  eas  esse  oportet  liberas 

nive   in   carcerem    compingi    te    est   aequom   aeta- 
temque  ibi 

te  usque  habitare,  donee  totum  carcerem  contriveris. 
Labr.      Non  hodie  isti  rei  auspicavi,  ut  cum  furcifero  fabuler. 

te  ego  appello. 
Daem.  Cum  istoc  primum,  qui  te  novit,  disputa. 

Labr.      Tecum  ago. 
Track.  At  qui  mecum  agendumst.     suntne  illae 

ancillae  tuae  ? 
Labr.      Sunt. 
Track.  Agedum  ergo,  tange  utramvis  digitulo  minimo 

modo.  720 

Labr.      Quid  si  attigero  ? 
Track.  Extemplo  hercle  ego  te  follem  pugilatorium 

faciam  et  pendentem  incursabo  pugnis,  periurissime. 
Labr.      Mihi    non    hceat    meas    ancillas    Veneris    de    ara 

abducere  ? 
Daem.    Non  licet :  est  lex  apud  nos — 

354 


RUDENS 

Here,  sir!     Look!  (points  to  them) 

Very  good !     Quite  as  we  wished.     Just  let  him  go 

near  them  !  (to  Labrax)  Expect  us  to  look  on,  do  you, 

with  you  lawbreaking  against  the  gods  ?  (to  a  slave, 

as  Labrax  makes  for  the  altar)     Let  him  have  one  in 

the  jaw! 

(to  Daemones,  as  the  slave  obeys)  I'll  make  you  smart 

for  my  being  put  upon  so ! 

What  ?    Threatening  me,  the  brazen  scoundrel  ? 

I'm  robbed  of  my  rights !     You're  robbing  me  of 

my  owTi  slave  girls,  in  spite  of  me  ! 

Bring  on  any  senator  of  Cyrene,  any  responsible 

person,  to  decide  whether  these  girls  ought  to  be 

yours  or  ought  to  be  free,  and  whether  you  shouldn't 

be  clapped  in  a  cell  and  left  there  for  life  till  you've 

worn  the  whole  place  out. 

(scornfully)  It  was  not  my  purpose  to-day  to  gossip 

with  a  gallows-bird,  (to  Daemones)  I'm  addressing 

you. 

{pointing  to  Trachalio)  There's  your  man.     Have  it 

out  with  a  fellow  that  knows  you,  first. 

You're  the  one  I'm  concerned  with. 

But  I'm  the  one  you've  got  to  be  concerned  with. 

So  those  are  your  slave  girls,  eh  ? 

Yes,  they  are. 

(making  sure  the  slaves  are  handy)  Come  on,  then ! 

Just  touch  either  one  of  them  with  the  tip  of  your 

little  finger 

(bristling)  What  if  I  do  ? 

(edging  closer  to  the  slaves)  I'll  make  a  punching-bag 

of  you  the  next  minute,  by  heaven,  111  hang  you 

up  and  hammer  you,  you  big  liar ! 

(to  Daemones)  Can't  I  take  my  own  slave  girls  away 

from  the  altar  of  Venus  ? 

You  cannot.    We  have  a  law 

355 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Lahr.  Mihi  cum  vestris  legibus 

nil     quicquamst     commerci.     equidem     istas     iam 

ambas  educam  foras. 
tu,  senex,  si  istas  amas,  hue  arido  argentost  opus ; 
si  autem  Veneri  complacuerunt,  habeat,  si  argentum 
dabit. 
Daem.    Det  tibi  argentum  ?    nunc  adeo  meam  ut  seias  sen- 
tentiam, 
occipito  modo  illis  adferre  vim  ioculo  pausillulum, 
ita  ego  te  hinc  ornatum  amittam,  tu  ipsus  te  ut  non 

noveris.  730 

vos  adeo,  ubi  ego  innuero  vobis,  ni  ei  caput  exocu- 

lassitis, 
quasi  murteta  iunci,  item  ego    vos    virgis  circum- 
vinciam. 
Labr.      Vi  agis  mecum. 

Track.  Etiam  vim  probro  das,^  flagiti  flagrantia? 

Labr.      Tun,  trifurcifer,  mihi  audes  inclementer  dicere  ? 
Track.    Fateor,  ego  trifurcifer  sum,  tu  es  homo  adprime 
probus : 
numqui  minus  hasce  esse  oportet  liberas  ? 
Labr.  Quid,  hberas  ? 

Track.    Atque  eras  tuas  quidem  hercle,  atque  ex  germana 
Graecia ; 
nam  altera  haec  est  nata  Athenis  ingenuis  paren- 
tibus. 
Daem.    Quid  ego  ex  te  audio  ? 

Track.  Hanc  Athenis  esse  natam  liberam. 

Daem.    Mea  popularis,  obsecro,  haec  est  ? 

Track.  Non  tu  Cyrenensis  es  ?  740 

Daem.    Immo  Athenis  natus  altusque  educatusque  Atticis. 
Track.    Opsecro,  defende  cives  tuas,  senex. 
Daem.  O  fllia 

*  probro  das  Leo  :  proporias  MSS. 


I 


RUDENS 


Your  laws  mean  nothing  at  all  to  me.  I'm  going  to 
take  both  of  them  off  this  instant,  I  certainly  am. 
As  for  you,  old  chap,  if  they've  caught  your  fancy, 
you  can  hand  over  some  hard  cash.  Yes,  or  let 
Venus  keep  'em,  if  they  suit  her — provided  she 
pays  the  bill. 

She  pay  bills  to  you  ?  Listen  here  now,  and  learn 
my  ideas  on  the  subject — you  so  much  as  begin 
using  the  least  bit  of  violence  with  them  even  for  a 
joke,  and  I'll  send  you  home  with  such"decorations 
that  you  won't  know  yourself,  (to  the  slaves)  Look 
here,  you !  Unless  you  knock  the  eyes  out  of  his 
head  when  I  give  you  the  signal,  I'll  wind  whips 
round  you  hke  rush  twine  rovmd  a  bunch  of  myrtle. 
{feebly)  This  is  violence  ! 

You  censure  violence,  you  scandalous  scoundrel  ? 
{making  a  jump  at  him)  You  dare  be  uncivil  to  me, 
you  vile  jailbird? 

(shrinking)  Granted.     I'm  a  vile  jailbird  and  you're 
a  highly  estimable  gentleman.     Does  that  make  it 
any  less  fitting  for  these  girls  to  be  free  ? 
What's  that?     Free? 

Yes,  and  your  betters,  too,  by  Jupiter,  and  girls 
that  come  from  Greece    proper.    Why,  this  one 
here  (points  to  Palaestra)  was  born  in  Athens,  born 
of  good  citizen  stock. 
Eh  ?    What's  that  you  say  ? 
That  this  girl  is  a  freebom  Athenian. 
Good  Lord !     A  compatriot  of  mine,  is  she  ? 
Aren't  you  a  Cyrenian  ? 

Not  I.     I  was  bom  and  bred  and  reared  in  Athens, 
Attic  Athens. 

For  mercy's  sake,  sir,  protect  yoiur  own  fellow- 
citizens  ! 
(aside,  with   emotion)  Ah,    daughter   dear,    absent 

357 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


mea,  quom  banc  video,  mearum  me   absens  mis- 

eriarum  commones ; 
trima  quae  periit  mihi,  iam  tanta  esset,  si  vivit,  scio. 
Lahr.      Argent  am    ego    pro    istisce    ambabus    cuiae    crant 
domino  dedi ; 
quid  mea  refert,  haec  Athenis  natae  an  Thebis  sient, 
dum  mihi  recte  servitutem  serviant? 
Track.  Itane,  impudens  ? 

tune  hie,  feles  virginalis,  liberos  parent.ibus 
sublectos  habebis  atque  indigno  quaestu  conteres  ? 
nam  huic  alterae  quae  patria  sit  profecto  nescio,      750 
nisi   scio  probiorem  banc   esse,   quam  te,  impura- 
tissime. 
Lahr.      ^  Tuae  istae  sunt. 

Track.  Contende  ergo,  uter  sit  tergo — verior: 

ni  offerumentas  habebis  pluris  in  tergo  tuo, 
quam  uUa  navis  longa  clavos,  turn  ego  ero  menda- 

cisvimus : 
postea  aspicito  meum,  quando  ego  tuom  inspecta- 

vero : 
ni  erit  tarn  sincerum,  ut  quivis  dieat  ampuUarius 
optimum  esse  operi  faciundo  corium  et  sincerissi- 

mum, 
quid  causae  est  quin  virgis  te  usque  ad  saturitatem 

sauciem  ? 
quid  illas  spectas  ?    quas  si  attigeris,  oculos  eripiam 
tibi. 
Lahr.      At  qui,  quia  votas,  utramque  iam  mecum  abducam 

simul.  760 

Daem.    Quid  facies  ? 

Lahr.  Volcanum  adducam,  is  Venerist  adversarius. 

Track.    Quo  ilUc  it  ? 

Lahr.  Heus,  ecquis  hie  est?   heus. 

Daem.  Si  attigeris  ostium, 

iam  hercle  tibi  messis  in  ore  fiet  mergis  pugneis. 
^  Corrupt  (Leo) :   nugae  Bentley. 


RUDENS 


though  you  are,  you  remind  me  of  my  sorrow  when 
I  look  at  this  girl !  Three  years  old  when  I  lost  her, 
and  now  the  size  of  this  lass,  no  doubt,  if  she's  alive  ! 
I  paid  out  money  to  their  owner  for  the  pair  of  'em. 
What's  the  odds  to  me  whether  they  were  bom  in 
Athens,  or  in  ThebeS,  so  long  as  they're  duly 
sla\-ing  it  as  slaves  of  mine  ? 

Indeed,  you  brazen  rascal  ?  So  you're  our  maiden 
mouser,  eh,  and  count  on  keeping  children  snapped 
up  from  their  parents,  and  wearing  them  out  in 
your  vile  trade  ?  Now  as  for  this  other  girl, 
(indicating  Ampelisca)  I  admit  I  don't  know  her 
birthplace,  but  I  do  know  she's  better  than  you  are, 
dirty  beast. 

(ironically)  They're  clearly  yours. 
(angrily)  Come  on,  then,  let's  see  whose  back  is  the 
dirtier — har's !     If  there    aren't   more    weals   on 
yours  than  nails  in  a  warship,  then  I'm  a  perjurer 
complete.     After   I've  inspected  yours,   examine 
mine.     If  it  isn't  so  flawless  that  any  flask-maker  '11 
say  it's  the  best  possible  hide  for  his  business, 
absolutely  right  and  tight,  what's  the  reason   I 
shouldn't  take  a  whip  and  slash  you  till  I'm  sick  of 
it  ?     What  are  you  ogling  those  girls  for  ?     You 
touch  them  and  I'll  tear  your  eyes  out  for  you ! 
{looking  about)  Yes,  but  I'll  soon  take   'em  both 
away  with  me,  just  because  you  say  I  can't. 
What  are  you  going  to  do  ? 

(making Jbr  Daemones' cottage)  Fetch  Vulcan:   he's 
at  odds  ^  >\'ith  Venus. 
Where's  he  going? 

(shouting  at  the  door)  Hey !  Anyone  here  ?  Hey ! 
You  touch  that  door  and,  by  the  Lord,  I'll  make  hay 
in  your  face  the  next  minute — •with  a  fist  for  a  fork ! 


*  Because  of  her  infidelity. 


359 


Titus  maccius  plautus 

Lor.        Nullum  habemus  ignem,  ficis  victitamus  aridis. 
Daem.    Ego  dabo  ignem,  siquidem  in  capite  tuo  conflandi 

copiast. 
Labr.      Ibo  hercle  aliquo  quaeritatum  ignem. 
Daem.  Quid  quom  inveneris  ? 

Labr.      Ignem  magnum  hie  faciam. 

Daem.  Quin  ^  inhumanum  exuras  tibi  ? 

Labr.      Immo  hasce  ambas  hie  in  ara  ut  vivas  comburam, 

id  volo. 
Daem.    lam  hercle  ego  te  barba  continuo  arripiam,  in  ignem 
coniciam 
teque  ambustulatum  obiciam  magnis  avibus  pabu- 
lum. 770 
quom  coniecturam  egomet  mecum  facio,  haec  illast 

simia, 
quae  has  hirundines  ex  nido  volt  eripere  ingratiis, 
quod  ego  in  somnis  somniavi. 
Track.  Scin  quid  tecum  oro,  senex  ? 

ut  illas  serves,  vim  defendas,  dum  ego  erum  adduco 
meum. 
Daem.    Quaere  erum  atque  adduce. 
Track.  At  hie  ne — 

Daem.  Maximo  malo  suo, 

si  attigerit  sive  occeptassit. 
Track.  Cura. 

Daem.  Curatumst,  abi. 

Track.    Hunc  quoque  adserva  ipsum,  ne  quo  abitat;    nam 
promisimus 
carnufici   aut   talentum   magnum   aut   hunc   hodie 
sistere. 
Daem.    Abi  mode,  ego  dum  hoc  eurabo  recte. 
Track.  lam  ego  revenero. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo) :  ut  humanum  P. 
360 


RUDENS 

IverseerVfe  haven't  any  coals — we  live  on  dried  figs. 

Daem.  I'll  give  you  some  coals — if  you  give  me  a  chance  to 
kindle  'em  on  your  cranium. 

Labr.      {turning  away  from  the  door)  I'm  going  somewhere 
else  to  look  for  coals,  by  heaven  ! 
And  when  you've  found  them,  what? 
I'll  build  a  big  fire  here. 
To  burn  out  your  venom,  eh  ? 

No,  to  burn  up  this  pair  at  the  altar  here  alive,  that's 
what  I  want. 

Daem.  Ah  yes,  and  then  I  shall  forthwith  catch  you  by  the 
beard  and  throw  you  into  your  fire,  and  when 
you're  half- roasted  toss  you  to  the  vultures  to  feed 
on.  (aside)  Now  that  I  come  to  consider  it,  this 
must  be  the  monkey  of  that  dream  I  dreamed — 
wanting  to  pull  these  swallows  from  their  nest  in 
spite  of  me. 

Track,   (to  Daemones)  Do  you  know  what  I  want  of  you, 
sir?     Look  after  those  girls  and  keep  'em  out  of 
harm's  way,  while  I  fetch  my  master. 
Go  look  for  him  and  bring  him  here. 

But  take  care  this  fellow 

(nith  assurance)  Things  will  be  extremely  unpleasant 
for  him  if  he  does  touch  them,  or  tries  to. 
Mind  now ! 

It  is  minded.     Off  with  you! 

And  see  he  doesn't  slip  away,  either.  We've 
promised  the  hangman  two  hundred  pounds  if  we 
don't  produce  him  to-day. 

Be  off,  be  off!     I'll  manage  this  properly  mean- 
while. 
I'll  soon  be  back. 

[exit  Trachalio  with  a  farewell  salute  to 
Labrax. 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

III.  5. 

Daem.    Vtrum  tu,  leno,  cum  malo  lubentius  780 

quiescis  an  sic  sine  malo,  si  copiast  ? 
Lahr.      Ego  quae  tu  loquere  flocci  non  facio,  senex. 

meas  quidem  te  invito  at  Venere  et  summo  love 

de  ara  capillo  iam  deripiam. 
Daem.  Tange  dum. 

Lahr.      Tangam  hercle  vero. 

Daem.  Agedum  ergo,  accede  hue  mode. 

Lahr.      lube  dum  recedere  istos  ambo  illuc  modo. 
Daem.    Immo  ad  te  accedent. 

Labr.  Non  hercle  equidem  censeo. 

Daem,    Quid  ages,  si  accedent  propius  ? 
Labr,  Ego  recessero. 

verum,  senex,  si  te  umquam  in  urbe  offendero, 

numquam  hercle  quisquam  me  lenonem  dixerit,        790 

si  te  non  ludos  pessimos  dimisero. 
Daem.    Facito  istuc  quod  minitare  ;  sed  nunc  interim, 

si  illas  attigeris,  dabitur  tibi  magnum  malum. 
Labr.      Quam  magnum  vero  ? 

Daem.  Quantum  lenoni  sat  est. 

Lahr.      Minacias  ego  flocci  non  faciam  tuas, 

equidem  has  te  invito  iam  ambas  rapiam. 
Daem.  Tange  dum. 

Lahr.      Tangam  hercle  vero. 

362 


RUDENS 

Scene  5. 

Daem.    (as  Lahrax  seems  restive)  Pimp,  do  you  prefer  to  be 

quieted  by  a  drubbing  or  quiet  without  one,  as  at 

present,  if  you  have  the  choice  ? 
Labr.      I  don't  care  a  straw  what  you  say,  old  fellow,  not  I. 

They're  my  girls  and  I'll  haul  'em  away  from  the 

altar  by  the  hair  this  minute,  despite  you  and  Venus 

and  Jupiter  on  high ! 

Well,  touch  them. 

Indeed  I  will  touch  them,  by  gad ! 

(coolly  pointing   toward   the  girb)   Proceed,   then. 

Just  step  this  way. 

Well,  just  you  tell  those  two  brutes  there  (indicating 

slaves  tvho  stand  beside  the  girls)  to  step  the  other 

way. 

Nay,  nay,  they  shall  step  your  way. 

(tvitk  an  attempt  at  confidence)  Oh,  no,  they  won't.    I 

hardly  think  so. 

What  will  you  do  if  they  do  step  over  your  way  ? 

(glaring,    then    nryly)  I'll    step — a-way.  (savagely) 

But,  oh  Lord,  if  I  ever  catch  you  in  the  city,  old  boy, 

no  one  shall  ever  call  me  pimp  again  if  I  don't  make 

a  holy  show  of  you  before  I  let  you  go ! 

(easily)  Do  your  worst.     But  now  in  the  meantime, 

if  you  touch  those  girls,  you  shall  get  a  good  hard 

hiding. 

(impudently)  Really  now?     How  hard? 

Hard  enough  to  do  for  a  pimp. 

I  shan't  care  a  straw  for  your  threats.     I'm  going  to 

drag  'em  both  off  this  minute  in  spite  of  you,  I 

surely  am.   (ta/ces  one  cautious  step  in  direction  of 

girls) 

Well,  touch  them. 

Indeed  I  will  touch  them,  by  gad ! 

3^3 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Daem.  Tanges,  at  scin  quo  modo  ? 

i  dum,  Turbalio,  curriculo,  adferto  domo 
duas  clavas. 

Labr.  Clavas  ? 

Daem.  Sed  probas.     propera  cito. 

ego  te  hodie  faxo  recte  acceptum,  ut  dignus  es. 

Labr.      Eheu,  scelestus  galeam  in  navi  perdidi ; 

nunc  mi  opportuna  hie  esset,  salva  si  foret. 
licet  saltern  istas  mi  appellare  ? 

Daem.  Non  licet. 

ehem,  optime  edepol  eccum  clavator  advenit. 

Labr.      Illud  quidem  edepol  tinnimentum  est  auribus. 

Daem.    Age  accipe  illinc  alteram  clavam,  Sparax. 
age,  alter  istinc,  alter  hinc  adsistite. 
adsistite  ambo.     sic.     audite  nunciam: 
si  hercle  illic  illas  hodie  digito  tetigerit 
invitas,  ni  istunc  istis  invitassitis 
usque  adeo  donee  qua  domum  abeat  nesciat, 
periistis  ambo.     si  appellabit  quempiam, 
vos  respondetote  istinc  istarum  vicem; 
sin  ipse  abire  hinc  volet,  quantum  potest 
extemplo  amplectitote  crura  fustibus. 

Labr.      Etiam  me  abire  hinc  non  sinent  ? 

Daem.  Dixi  satis, 

et  ubi  ille  servos  cum  ero  hue  advenerit, 
qui  erum  accersivit,  itote  extemplo  domum. 
curate  haec  sultis  magna  diligentia. 

364 


RUDENS 


Labr. 
Daem. 


You  will,  eh?     Know  the  results,  though?    Here! 

Turbaho !     Run  to  the  house  and  get  a  couple  of 

clubs. 

{fveakly)  Clubs  ? 

Stout  ones,  mind.    Quick  !  Step  lively ! 

[exit  Turbalio  i>fTO  cottage. 
I  shall  see  you  get  the  rousing  reception  you  de- 
serve this  day. 

{dryly)  Oh  Lord,  and  I  lost  my  helmet  on  the  ship, 
confound  it!     It  would  come  in  handy  here,  if  I 
only  had  it.   (to  Daemones)    I  can   speak  to  the 
girls,  anyhow,  can't  I  ? 
You  cannot. 

RE-ENTER  TurbaltO  WITH  TWO  LARGE  CUDGELS. 

Aha !     Very  good,  by  Jove  !     Look !     Here  comes 
our  clubman. 

My  stars !  That  certainly  makes  my  ears  buzz ! 
Come  now,  Sparax,  take  one  of  those  clubs. 
(Sparax  obeys)  Come  now  !  One  of  you  stand  there, 
the  other  one  here,  (stations  them  on  either  side  of 
Labrax)  Stand  there,  both  of  you.  (steps  back  to 
survey  arrangements)  That's  it.  Now  then,  atten- 
tion !  In  case  that  fellow  ever  lays  a  finger  on 
those  girls  against  their  will,  if  you  don't  lay 
those  clubs  against  his  carcass  so  hard  that  he  won't 
know  the  way  home,  by  heaven,  I'll  murder  the 
pair  of  you !  If  he  speaks  to  either  of  them,  you 
answer  for  them  from  where  you  stand.  And  if 
he  wants  to  clear  out,  himself,  catch  him  round  the 
legs  with  your  sticks  just  as  fast  as  you  know  how. 
What  ?  They  won't  let  me  go  away  from  here  ? 
{to  Labrax)  Enough  said,  (to  slaves)  And  when  that 
slave  who  went  for  his  master  gets  back  here  with 
him,  you  hurry  home.  Now  mind  you  follow  these 
instructions  to  the  letter. 

[exit  Daemones  into  cottage. 
365 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Lahr.      Heu  hercle,  ne  istic  fana  mutantur  cito : 

iam  hoc  Herculi  est,  Veneris  fanum  quod  fuit, 

ita  duo  destituit  signa  hie  cum  clavis  senex. 

non  hercle  quo  hinc  nunc  gentium  aufugiam  scio, 

ita  nunc  mi  utrumque  saevit,  et  terra  et  mare. 

Palaestra. 
Lor.  Quid  vis  ? 

Labr.  Apage,  controversia  est, 

haec  quidem  Palaestra,  quae  respondit,  non  mea  est. 

heus,  Ampelisca. 
Lor.  alter  Cave  sis  infortunio. 

Labr.      Vitro  te.     signa  ut  homines  satis  recte  monent. 

sed  vobis  dico,  heus  vos,  num  molestiaest,  830 

me  adire  ad  illas  propius  ? 
Lor.  Nil  nobis  quidem. 

Labr.      Numquid  molestum  mihi  erit  ? 
Lor.  Nil,  si  caveris. 

Labr.      Quid  est  quod  caveam  ? 

Lor.  Em,  a  crasso  infortunio. 

Labr.      Quaeso  hercle,  abire  ut  liceat. 
Lor.  Abeas,  si  velis. 

Labr.      Bene  hercle  factum,     habeo  vobis  gratiam. 

^  accedam  potius. 
Lx)r.  Illic  astato  ilico. 

Labr.      Edepol  proveni  nequiter  multis  modis. 

certumst  hasce  hodie  usque  obsidione  vincere. 

^  Leo  brackets  preceding  non. 
366 


RUDENS 

Labr.  {with  a  rueful  glance  at  the  slaves  and  their  cudgels) 
Oh,  my  Lord!  How  fast  these  here  temples  do 
change  hands  !  This  used  to  be  a  shrine  of  Venus, 
and  now  its  patron  saint  is  Hercules,  judging  from 
the  two  club-bearing  statues  the  old  fellow  has  set 
up  here.  My  goodness  !  I  don't  know  where  in  the 
world  to  make  for  now,  the  way  everything's  raging 
against  me,  land  and  sea  both,  (after  a  pause) 
Palaestra ! 

Spar  ax  (in  a  feminine  voice)  What  is  it? 

Labr.  Oh,  I  say !  I  protest.  That's  not  my  Palaestra 
answering.     Hey !     Ampehsca ! 

Turhalio  (in  feminine  voice)  Just  you  look  out  for  trouble. 

Labr.  Aw,  stop  it !  (thoughtfully  surveying  the  clubs) 
Statues  like  men  give  rather  good  counsel,  (to 
slaves,  placatingly)  But  I  say,  you !  Hey !  You 
fellows!  Any  harm  in  my  going  nearer  to  those 
girls? 

Overseers  (in  unison)  No  indeed — not  for  us. 

Labr.      Will  it  do  me  any  harm  ? 

Overseers  Oh  no — if  you  look  out. 

Labr.      Look  out  for  what  ? 

Overseers  (sTvinging  their  clubs  in  his  vicinity)  See  ?  That 
you  don't  get  badly  hurt. 

Labr.  (nervous)  Oh,  for  God's  sake,  do  let  me  go  away 
from  here ! 

Overseers  Go  away,  if  you  like. 

Labr.  (moving  off)  My  word,  that's  good  of  you !  I  do 
thank  you !  (as  they  come  after  him)  No,  I'll  go  your 
way.  (steps  back  toward  the  girls) 

Overseers  (clubs  in  action)  Stop  right  where  you  are ! 

Labr.  Good  Lord,  the  beastly  bad  luck  I've  had  every 
way!  (dryly)  My  policy's  settled:  I'll  go  on  and 
beat  'em  by  blockade. 

367 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


III.  6. 

Pies.       Meamne  ille  amicam  leno  vi,  violentia 

de  ara  deripere  Veneris  voluit  ? 
Track.  Admodum.  840 

Pies.       Quin  occidisti  extemplo  ? 
Track.  Gladius  non  erat. 

Pies.       Caperes  aut  fustem  aut  lapidem. 
Track.  Quid?   ego  quasi  canem 

hominem  insectarer  lapidibus  nequissimum  ? 
Labr.      Nunc  pol  ego  perii,  Plesidippus  eccum  adest. 

converret  iam  hie  me  totum  cum  pulvisculo. 
Pies.       Etiamne  in  ara  tunc  sedebant  mulieres, 

quom  ad  me  profectu's  ire  ? 
Track.  Ibidem  nunc  sedent. 

Pies.       Quis  illas  nunc  illic  servat  ? 
Track.  Nescio  quis  senex, 

vicinus  Veneris  ;  is  dedit  operam  optumam. 

is  nunc  cum  servis  servat.     ego  mandaveram.  850 

Pies.       Due  me  ad  lenonem  recta,     ubi  illic  est  homo  ? 
Labr.      Salve. 
Pies.  Salutem  nil  moror.     opta  ocius : 

rapi  te  obtorto  collo  mavis  an  trahi  ? 

utrum  vis  opta,  dum  licet. 
Labr.  Neutrum  volo. 

Pies.       Abi  sane  ad  litus  curriculo,  Trachalio, 

iube  illos  in  urbem  ire  obviam  ad  portum  mihi, 

quos  mecum  duxi,  hunc  qui  ad  carnificem  traderent. 

post  hue  redito  atque  agitato  hie  custodiam. 

368 


RUDENS 

Scene  6.  enter  Plesidipptu  and  Trachalio. 

Pies.  (indignant)  That  pimp  laid  violent  hands  on  my 
girl,  tried  to  drag  her  from  the  altar  of  Venus  by 
violence  ? 

Track.  Just  so,  sir. 

Pies.       Why  didn't  you  kill  him  on  the  spot? 

Track,   (after  a  pause)  I  had  no  sword,  sir. 

Pies.       You  might  have  taken  a  club  or  a  stone. 

Track,  (virtuously)  What,  sir  ?  Chase  a  human  being,  vile 
as  he  is,  with  stones  like  a  dog — I  ? 

Labr.  (aside,  seeing  them)  My  goodness!  I'm  in  for  it 
now!  There's  Plesidippus!  He'll  clean  me  up 
entire  in  no  time,  last  speck  and  all. 

Pies.       So  the  girls  were  sitting  by  the  altar  when  you 
went  for  me  ? 
And  sitting  there  still,  sir. 
Wlio's  there  now  to  keep  them  safe? 
Some  old  man,  sir,  a  near  neighbour  of  Venus. 
He   has   been   aAn^fuUy   accommodating.     They're 
safe  now  with  him  and  his  slaves.     He  had  his 
instructions  from  me. 

Take  me  straight  to  the  pimp.     Where  is  the 
fellow  ?  (follows  Trachalio  toward  temple) 
(stepping  up,  ingratiatingly)  Good-morning. 
(viciously)  Don't   you   good-morning   me!     Quick 
now,  choose  I     Would  you  rather  be  hauled  off 
with  your  neck  in  a  noose,  or  dragged  off?     Take 
your  choice  while  you  have  the  chance. 
(smirking)  Neither  suits  me. 

Now  then,  Trachalio,  run  down  to  the  shore  and 
tell  'em  to  go  to  the  city  and  meet  me  at  the 
harbour,  the  friends  I  brought  with  me,  to  hand 
this  fellow  over  to  the  hangman.    Then  come 


369 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ego  hunc  scelestum  in  ius  rapiam  exulem. 

age,  ambula  in  ius. 
Lahr.  Quid  ego  deliqui  ? 

Pies.  Rogas,  860 

quin  arrabonem  a  me  accepisti  ob  mulierem 

et  earn  hinc  abduxti  ? 
Ldhr.  Non  avexi. 

Pies.  Cur  negas  ? 

Labr.      Quia  pel  provexi :   avehere  non  quivi  miser. 

equidem  tibi  me  dixeram  praesto  fore 

apud  Veneris  fanum :  num  quid  muto  ?  sumne  ibi  ? 
Pies.       In  iure  causam  dicito,  hie  verbum  sat  est : 

sequere. 
Labr.  Obsecro  te,  subveni  mi,  Charmides. 

rapior  optorto  coUo. 
Charm.  Quis  me  nominal  ? 

Labr.      Viden  me  ut  rapior  ? 

Charm.  Video,  atque  inspecto  lubens. 

Labr.      Non  subvenire  mi  audes  ? 

Charm.  Quis  homo  te  rapit  ?  870 

Labr,      Adulescens  Plesidippus. 
Charm.  Vt  nanctu's,  habe. 

bono  animo  meliust  te  in  nervom  conrepere. 

tibi  optigit  quod  plurimi  exoptant  sibi. 
Labr.      Quid  id  est  ? 

Charm.  Vt  id  quod  quaerant  inveniant  sibi. 

Labr.      Sequere,  obsecro,  me. 
Charm.  Pariter  suades  qualis  es 


370 


RUDENS 

back  and  stand  guard  here.     As  for  me.  111  haul 

this  rascal  off  to  court,  the  outlaw. 

[exit  TrackaUo. 

(to  Lahrax)  Come !     Step  along  to  court. 

\\Tiat  harm  have  I  done  ? 

You  ask?     Aren't  you  the  man  that  took  part 

payment  on  the  girl  from  me  and  then  carried 

her  off? 

I  didn't  take  her  off. 

Why  deny  it  ? 

Gad,  because  I  only  took  her  on,  not  off — couldn't, 

worse  luck !     See  here,  I  told  you  I'd  be  ready 

for  you  at  Venus'  temple.     Held  to  it,  haven't  I  ? 

Here,  ain't  I  ? 
Pies.       Tell   your   story   to   the  judge.     No   talk  here! 

Come  along,  {slips  a  rope  around  him) 
Lahr.      {struggling)  Help,  help,  for  heaven's  sake,  Char- 

mides !     I'm  being  dragged  off  with  my  neck  in  a 

noose! 

ENTER  Ckarmides  into  doorway  of  temple. 

Charm.  Who's  calUng  me  ? 

Labr.      Don't  you  see  how  I'm  being  dragged  off? 

Charm,  (yanming)  Yes,  I  see.     A  gratifying  spectacle. 

Labr.      Won't  you  help  me  ? 

Charm.  Who's  the  man  dragging  you  ? 

Labr.     {fighting  for  every   inch   of  ground)  Young   Plesi- 

dippus ! 
Charm.  Findings  keepings!     You  had  better  slink  away 

to  jail  cheerfully.    You've  obtained  what  most 

people  pray  for. 

What's  that  ? 

To  get  what  suits  them. 

Oh,  please  do  go  along  with  me ! 
Charm.  Just  like  yourself,  that  advice.     Dragged  off  to 

37J 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

tu  in  nervom  rapere,  eo  me  obsecras  ut  te  sequar. 

etiam  retentas  ? 
Lahr.  Perii. 

Pies.  Verum  sit  velim. 

tu,  mea  Palaestra  et  Ampelisca,  ibidem  ilico 

manete,  dum  ego  hue  redeo. 
Lnr.  Equidem  suadeo, 

ut  ad  nos  abeant  potius,  dum  recipis. 
Pies.  Placet,  880 

bene  facitis. 
Labr.  Fures  mi  estis. 

Lor.  Quid,  fures  ?  rape. 

Lahr.      Oro  obsecro,  Palaestra. 
Pies.  Sequere,  carnufex. 

Labr.      Hospes — 

Charm.  Non  sum  hospes,  repudio  hospitium  tuom. 

Labr.      Sicine  me  spernis  ? 

Charm.  Sic  ago  :   semel  bibo. 

Labr.      Di  te  infelicent. 
Charm.  Isti  capiti  dicito. 

credo  alium  in  aliam  beluam  hominem  vortier : 

illic  in  columbum,  credo,  leno  vortitur, 

nam  in  collumbari  collus  haud  multo  post  erit ; 

in  nervom  ille  hodie  nidamenta  congeret. 

verum  tamen  ibo,  ei  advocatus  ut  siem,  890 

si  qui  mea  opera  citius  addici  potest. 


372 


Still  holding 


[  RUDENS 

I  jail,  and  won't  I  please  go  there  too ! 

f  back,  eh  ? 

Lahr.      {as  Plesidippus  gets  a  new  hold)  I'm  done  for ! 

Pies.       I  >vish  you  were !     Palaestra  dear,  you  and  Ampe- 

lisca  wait  in  that  very  same  spot  till  I  come  back. 
Overseer!  say,  sir,  they'd  better  go  over  to  our  house  till 

you  get  back,  that's  my  advice. 
Pies.       A  good  idea !     Very  kind  of  you ! 
Labr.      You  robbers,  you  ! 
Or er^eer Robbers,  eh?     Drag  him  off! 
Lahr.      Palaestra,  I  beg  you.     I  beseech  you ! 
Pies.       (ptilling)  Come  on,  you  criminal! 

Labr.      (to  Charmides)  Dear  friend 

Charm.  I'm   not  your   dear  friend.     None   of  your   dear 

friendship  for  me,  thanks. 


Lahr. 
Charm. 
Lahr. 
Charm. 


{rvildlif)  You'll  throw  me  over  that  way  ? 
Yes,  that  way.     One  drink's  enough. 
God's  curse  on  you ! 
Ask  it  for  your  owti  use. 

[exeunt  Plesidippus  and  Lahrax  toward  city, 

GIRLS  AND  overseers  INTO  COTTAGE. 

It  does  seem  true  that  men  are  changed  into 
different  kinds  of  animals.  That  pimp,  it  seems, 
is  being  changed  to  a  ringdove :  he'll  shortly 
have  a  wrung  neck,  anyhow,  and  build  a  coop  in 
the  cooler.  But  I'll  go  along,  though,  so  as  to 
give  him  legal  advice  and  see  if  I  can't  do  some- 
thing to  get  him — sentenced  sooner. 

[exit. 


373 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 


ACTVS  IV 


Daem.    Bene  factum  et  volup  est,  me  hodie  his  mulierculis 
tetulisse  auxilium.     iam  clientas  repperi, 
atque  ambas  forma  scitula  atque  aetatula. 
sed  uxor  scelesta  me  omnibus  servat  modis, 
ne  quid  signifieem  quippiam  mulierculis. 
sed  Gripus  servos  noster  quid  rerum  gerat 
miror,  de  nocte  qui  abiit  piscatum  ad  mare, 
pol  magis  sapisset,  si  dormivisset  domi, 
nam  nunc  et  operam  ludos  facit  et  retia,  900 

ut  tempestas  est  nunc  atque  ut  noctu  fuit. 
in  digitis  hodie  percoquam  quod  ceperit, 
ita  fluctuare  video  vehementer  mare, 
sed  ad  prandium  uxor  me  vocat.     redeo  domum. 
iam  meas  opplebit  aures  ^  vaniloquentia. 

IV.  2. 

Gr.  Neptuno  has  ago  gratias  meo  patrono, 

qui  salsis  locis  incolit  pisculentis, 
quom     me     ex    suis    locis    pulchre    ornatum 

expedivit, 
^  templis  reducem,  plurima  praeda  onustum, 
salute  horiae,  quae  in  mari  fluctuoso  910 

piscatu  novo  me  uberi  compotivit ; 
miroque  modo  atque  incredibili  hie  piscatus  mihi 

lepide  evenit, 
neque  piscium  ullam  unciam  hodie  pondo  cepi,  nisi 
hoc  quod  fero  hie  in  rete. 


^  aures  sua  vaniloquentia  corrupt  (Leo) :  sua  deleted  (Quietus). 
^  Corrupt  (Leo) :  reducem  et  tempulis  Leo. 

374 


I 


RUDENS 

ACT  IV 
ENTER  Daemones  from  his  cottage,  much 

PLEASED. 

lem.  That  was  a  good  stroke  of  mine  helping  these  girls 
to-day — delightful!  Here  we  are  now  with  some 
protegees,  delicious  little  darlings  too,  the  both  of 
'em !  But  that  blessed  wife  of  mine  keeps  her 
eye  on  me  all  the  while,  so  that  I  can't  even  give 
'em  a  \nnk.  (looking  out  to  sea)  I  wonder  what  that 
fellow  Gripus  of  mine  is  doing,  though,  with  his 
midnight  fishing  trip  ?  Gad !  He  would  have 
shown  more  sense  by  staying  abed  at  home. 
Why,  the  way  it's  blowing  now  and  blew  last  night, 
he's  fooling  away  his  time  and  nets  both.  I'll  fry 
on  my  fingers  this  day  anything  he  catches  with 
such  a  heavy  sea  as  this  running,  (listening)  But 
there's  •wife  calling  me  to  lunch,  (starts  for  house) 
Home  we  go.  Now  she'll  be  stuffing  my  ears 
with  gabble. 

[exit  Daemones. 

Scene  2.    enter  Gripus,  carrying  a  basket  and  dragging 

A  NET  containing  A  TRUNK. 

(ecstatic)  Glory  be  to  Neptune  for  this,  my  patron 
Neptune,  who  doth  reside  in  salty,  fishy  spots,  for 
speeding  me  homeward  from  his  sacred  quarters 
fixed  up  gorgeously,  laden  with  a  splendid  lot  of 
booty,  and  the  smack  all  sound  that  brought  me 
this  strange,  rich  haul  in  a  raging  sea !  Oh,  it's 
wonderful,  it's  unbelievable,  the  famous  luck  I've 
had  in  fishing !  And  not  a  single  ounce  of  fish 
did  I  catch,  either,  only  what  I've  got  here  in 
my  net. 

375 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

nam  ut  de  nocte  multa  impigreque  exurrexi, 
lucrum  pracposivi  sopori  et  quieti : 
tempestate  saeva  experiri  expetivi, 
paupertatem  eri  qui  et  meam  servitutem 
tolerarem,  opera  haud  fui  parous  mea. 
nimis  homo  nihilist  quis  piger  est  nimisque  id  genus 

odi  ego  male, 
vigilare  decet  hominem  qui  volt  sua  temperi  con- 

ficere  officia. 
non   enim   ilium   expectare   oportet,   dum   erus   se 
ad  suom  suscitet  officium. 

nam  qui  dormiunt  libenter,  sine  lucro  et  cum 
male  quiescunt. 
nam  ego  nunc  mihi,  qui  impiger  fui, 
repperi  ut  piger,  si  velim,  siem: 
hoc  ego  in  mari  ^  repperi. 
quidquid   inest,    grave    quidem   inest;    aurum 
hie  ego  inesse  reor ; 
nee  mihi  consciust  uUus  homo, 
nunc  haec  tibi  occasio,  Gripe,  optigit,  ut  liber  sit 
nemo  ex  populo  praeter  te. 
nunc  sic  faciam,  sic  consilium  est :   ad  erum  veniam 

docte  atque  astute, 
pauxillatim   pollicitabor   pro    capite    argentum,    ut 

sim  liber, 
iam  ubi  liber  ero,  igitur  demum  instruam  agrum 

atque  aedis,  mancipia, 
navibus  magnis  mercaturam  faciam,  apud  reges  rex 

perhibebor, 
post  animi  causa  mihi  navem  faciam  atque  imitabor 
Stratonicum, 

oppida  circumvectabor. 
ubi  nobilitas  mea  erit  clara, 
oppidum  magnum  communibo,  ei  ego  urbi  Gripo 
indam  nomen, 

376 


RUDENS 

Ah,  when  I  jumped  smartly  out  of  bed  at  mid- 
night, I  put  profit  ahead  of  sleep  and  rest,  I  did. 
There  was  a  howling  gale,  but  I  was  set  on  trying 
to  make  things  easier  for  poor  master — also  for 
his  slave — and  I  didn't  spare  myself  a  bit.  How 
useless  a  lazy  fellow  is,  how  I  do  hate  and  despise 
that  kind!  The  man  that  wants  to  get  his  jobs 
done  in  time  had  better  keep  awake.  He  has  no 
business  waiting  till  his  master  routs  him  out  to 
do  his  work,  I  should  say  not.  Yes,  sir,  fellows 
that  love  their  sleep  snooze  away  their  chances  of 
everything  but  trouble.  Why,  here's  my  case — 
up  and  doing,  and  now  I've  made  such  a  find  that 
I  can  do  nothing  if  I  choose.  This  is  the  find  I 
made  (indicating  the  trunk)  in  the  sea.  Whatever 's 
in  it,  there's  something  heavy  in  it.  There's  gold 
in  it,  that's  what  I  think.  And  not  a  soul  knows 
about  it  but  me !  Here  you  are,  Gripus,  here's 
your  chance  to  be  as  free  as  any  man  alive ! 

Now  this  is  what  I'll  do,  this  is  my  scheme :  I'll 
go  up  to  master,  real  sharp  and  sly,  and  offer  him 
money,  Uttle  by  little,  to  set  me  free.  After  that, 
when  I  am  free,  then  I'll  get  me  a  house  and  land 
and  slaves,  and  have  big  ships  and  be  a  merchant, 
and  known  as  a  king  of  kings.  Then  I'll  build  me 
a  yacht,  just  for  fim,  and  be  a  second  Stratonicus^ 
— sail  all  round  everywhere.  And  when  I've  made 
a  grand  name  for  myself,  I'll  build  a  great  big 
city  with  walls  round  it,  and  call  it  Gripusburg  to 

*  A  famous  mnsician-erraiit  of  the  time  of  Alexander  the 
Great. 


^  Leo  brackets  following  quidquid  itieat. 

311 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

monimentum  meae  famae  et  factis,  ibi  qui  regnum 

magnum  instituam. 
magnas  res  hie  agito  in  mentem  instruere.     nunc 

hune  vidulum  condam. 
sed  hie  rex  cum  aceto  pransurust  et  sale,  sine  bono 

pulmento. 

IV.  3. 

Track.    Heus,  mane. 

Gr.  Quid  maneam  ? 

Track.  Dum  hanc  tibi,  quam 

trahis,  rudentem  complico. 
Gr.         Mitte  modo. 
Track.  At  pol  ego  te  adiuvo  nam  bonis  quod 

bene  fit  baud  perit. 
Gr.  Turbida  tempestas  heri  fuit,  910 

nil   habeo,    adulescens,   piscium,    ne   tu   mihi    esse 

postules ; 
non  vides  referre  me  uvidum  rete,  sine  squamoso 

pecu? 
Track.    Non  edepol  piscis  expeto  quam  tui  sermonis  sum 

indigens. 
Gr.         Enicas  iam  me  odio,  quisquis  es. 
Track.  Non  sinam  ego  abire  hinc  te.     mane. 

Gr.         Cave  sis  malo,     quid  tu,  malum,  nam  me  retrahis  ? 
Track.  Audi. 

378 


RUDENS 

immortalize  my  glorious  career,  and  found  a  great 
big  empire  there.  Ah,  these  are  big  things  I'm 
busying  my  head  with  here !  Now  I'll  hide  this 
trunk,  (looking  in  his  lunch  basket  as  he  puts  it  down) 
Hm!  His  majesty '11  have  his  lunch  seasoned 
with  sour  wine  and  salt,  without  any  tasty  relish. 
(begins  dragging  off  the  trunk  in  the  net,  one  of  the 
ropes  dangling  behind  him) 

Scene  3.  enter  Trachalio. 

Trach.    (observing  with  interest  the  contents  of  the  net)  Hi, 

there !     Wait ! 
Gr.         Wait?    What  for? 
Trach.    (casually  picking  up  the  end  of  the  rope)  Till  I  coil 

up  this  rope  you're  trailing. 
Gr.         {g^i^ffly)  Here  you  I     Hands  off! 
Trach.    (genially)  Heavens,  but  I'm  helping  you!     "  Good 

turns  done  to  the  good  never  go  for  naught,"  you 

know,  (coils  up  the  rope,  getting  nearer  the  net) 
Gr.         (very  uneasy)  There  was  a  wild  gale  last  night.     I 

have  no  fish  at  all,  young  fellow,  and  you  needn't 

think  I  have.     Don't  you  see  I'm  bringing  back  a 

wet  net  and  not  a  one  of  (forcing  a  grin)  the  scaly 

herd? 
Trach,    Lord,  man,  I'm  not  so  anxious  for  your  fish  as 

hungry  for  your  conversation,  (still  coiling  the  rope 

and  eyeing  the  trunk) 
Gr.         You're   boring  me   to   death,   whoever  you   are. 

(moves  on,  dragging  the  net) 
Trach,    (pulling  on  the  rope)  Ah,  but  I  won't  let  you  leave 

me.     Wait. 
Gr.         (turning  on  him  angrily)  Just  look  out  or  you'll  get 

hurt !     What  the  devil  do  you  mean,  holding  me 

back? 
Trach.    Listen. 

379 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 


Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 


Gr. 


Track. 


Gr. 

Track. 

Gr. 

Track. 


Non  audio. 

At  pol  qui  audies  post. 

Quin  loquere  quid  vis, 
Eho  mane  dum,  est  operae  pretium  quod  tibi  ego 

narrare  volo. 
Eloquere  quid  id  est  ? 

Vide  num  quispiam  consequitur  prope  nos. 
Eequid  est  quod  mea  referat  ? 

Scilicet, 
sed  boni  consili  eequid  in  te  mihi  est  ? 
Quid  negoti  est,  modo  dice. 

Dicam,  tace, 
si  fidem  modo  das  mihi  te  non  fore  infidum. 
Do  fidem  tibi,  fidus  ero,  quisquis  es. 

Audi, 
fui-tum  ego  vidi  qui  faciebat ; 
noi'am  dominum,  id  cui  fiebat, 
post  ad  furem  egomet  devenio 
feroque  ei  condicionem  hoc  pacto : 
'  ego  istuc  furtum  scio  cui  factum  est ; 
nunc  mihi  si  vis  dare  dimidium, 
indicium  domino  non  faciam.' 
is  mihi  nihil  etiam  respondit. 
quid  inde  aequom  est  dari  mihi  ?   dimidium 
volo  ut  dicas. 

Immo  hercle  etiam  amplius, 
nam  nisi  dat,  domino  dicundum 
censeo. 

Tuo  consilio  faciam. 
nunc  advorte  animum ;   namque  hoc  omne 
attinet  ad  te. 

Quid  factumst  ? 
Vidulum  istum  cuiust  novi  ego  hominem  iam  pridem. 

Quid  est  ? 
Et  quo  pacto  periit. 
380 


950 


960 


RUDENS 

I  won't  listen ! 

(significantly)  Ah,  but  you  shall  listen,  later. 
(trying  to  seem  indifferent)  Well,  well,  say  what  you 
want,  (gets  afresh  grip  on  his  rope) 
(doing  the  same)  Oho!     Now  you  just  wait!     It's 
worth  attention,  what  I  want  to  tell  you. 
Out  with  it,  then,  will  you! 

(coming  closer,  and  looking  about  warily)  See  if 
anyone's  near,  trailing  us. 

(nervously)  Has  it  got  anything  to  do  with  me  ? 
Rather.     But  have  I  got  in  you  a  man  of  dis- 
cretion ? 

What's  it  all  about  ?     Only  tell  me ! 
Hush,  hush !     I  will  tell  you,  if  you'll  only  promise 
me  to  play  fair. 

I  promise,  I'll  play  fair,  whoever  you  are. 
Listen.  I  saw  a  person  commit  a  theft.  (Gripus 
is  visibly  relieved)  I  knew  the  owner  of  the  property, 
and  afterwards  approached  the  thief,  and  put  the 
proposition  to  him  in  this  way.  "  I  know  the 
man  you  stole  that  from,"  says  I.  "  Now  if  you 
want  to  go  halves  with  me,  I  won't  inform  the 
owner."  Not  a  blessed  thing  did  the  fellow 
answer.  Now  what's  my  fair  share  of  it  ?  I  hope 
you'll  say  half. 

Half!  Good  Lord,  yes,  and  more  too!  And 
unless  you  get  it,  the  owner  ought  to  be  told, 
that's  what  I  think. 

I'll  follow  your  advice.     Now  pay  attention;    for 
all  this  affects  you. 
(startled)  Eh  ?     How's  that  ? 

That  trunk  there — I've  known  its  owner  for  a  long 
time. 

Eh?    What? 
And  I  know  how  it  was  lost. 

381 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.  At  ego  quo  pacto  inventust  scio 

et  qui  invenit  hominem  novi  et  dominus  qui  nunc 

est  scio. 
nihilo  pol  pluris  tua  hoc  quam  quanti  illud  refert 

mea : 
ego  ilium  novi  cuius  nunc  est,  tu  ilium  cuius  antehac 

fuit. 
hunc  homo  feret  a  me  nemo,  ne  tu  te  speres  potis. 
Track.    Non  ferat  si  dominus  veniat  ? 
Gr.  Dominus  huic,  ne  frustra  sis, 

nisi  ego  nemo  natust,  hunc  qui  cepi  in  venatu  meo.    970 
Track.    Itane  vero  ? 

Gr.  Ecquem  esse  dices  in  mari  piscem  meum  ? 

quos  cum  capio,  siquidem  fcepi,  mei  sunt ;    habeo 

pro  meis, 
nee  manu  adseruntur  neque  illinc  partem  quisquam 

postulat. 
in  foro  palam  omnes  vendo  pro  meis  venalibus. 
mare  quidem  commune  certost  omnibus. 
Track.  Adsentio : 

qui  minus  hunc  communem  quaeso  mi  esse  oportet 

vidulum  ? 
in  mari  inventust  communi. 
Gr.  Esne  impudenter  impudens  ? 

nam  si  istuc  ius  sit  quod  memoras,  piscatores  peri- 

erint. 
quippe  quom  extemplo  in  macellum  pisces  prolati 

sient, 
nemo  emat,  suam  quisque  partem  piscium  poscant 

sibi,  980 

dicant,  in  mari  communi  captos. 
Track.  Quid  ais,  impudens? 

ausu's  etiam  comparare  vidulum  cum  piscibus  ? 
eadem  tandem  res  videtur  ? 
Gr.  In  manu  non  est  mea 

382 


RUDENS 

(indignant)  Well,  I  know  how  it  was  found,  and  I 
know  who  found  it,  and  I  know  who  owns  it  now. 
And  this  is  no  more  your  business  than  that  is 
mine,  by  gad!     I  know  the  man  it  belongs  to 
now,  you  know  the  man  it  used  to  belong  to. 
Nobody  alive 's  going  to  get  this  away  fi-om  me, 
and  you  needn't  hope  you  can. 
Not  even  the  owner,  if  he  came  alongr  ? 
Owner?     Don't  you  fool  yourself!     No  mother's 
son  owns  this  but  me,  that  caught  it,  fishing. 
{ironically)  Really,  now? 

Would  you  call  any  fish  mine  while  it's  in  the  sea  ? 
When  I  catch  them,  supposing  I  do,  then  they  are 
mine ;  I  have  them  for  my  own,  and  no  one  lays 
claim  to  them  or  expects  any  part  of  them.  And 
I  sell  them  all  in  the  public  market  as  my  wares. 
\Miy,  the  sea's  common  to  all,  that's  certain. 
Agreed.  Then  why  shouldn't  I  have  a  common 
right  to  this  trunk,  tell  me  that?  It  was  found 
in  the  common  sea. 

Well,  of  all  the  cheeky  cheek  I  Why,  if  the  law  was 
hke  what  you  say,  it  would  finish  fishermen.  Why, 
the  minute  fish  were  carried  to  market,  no  one 
would  buy,  but  all  crowd  up  and  claim  their  share, 
contending  they  were  caught  in  the  common  sea. 
How's  that,  you  cheeky  rascal  ?  So  you've  got  the 
cheek  to  compare  trunks  with  fish,  eh?  Really 
now,  does  it  seem  the  same  to  you  ? 
(doggedly)  It's  a  thing  I  can't  control.     When  I 


383 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PI.AUTUS 

ubi    demisi    rcte    atque    hamuni,    quidquid    haesit 

extraho. 
meum  quod  rete  atque  hami  nancti  sunt,  meum 
potissimumst. 
Track.    Immo  hercle  baud  est,  siquidem  quod  vas  excepisti. 
Gr.  Pbilosopbe. 

Track.    Sed  tu  enumquam  piscatorem  vidisti,  venefice, 

vidulum    piscem    cepisse    aut    protuHsse    ullum    in 

foi'um  ? 
non  enim  tu  hie  quidem  oceupabis  omnis  quaestus 

quos  voles : 
et  vitorem  et  piscatorem  te  esse,  impure,  postulas.    990 
vel  te  mihi  monstrare  oportet  piscis  qui  sit  vidulus, 
vel    quod    in    mari    non    natum    est    neque    habet 
squamas  ne  feras. 
Gr.         Quid,  tu  numquam  audisti  esse  antehae  vidulum 

piscem  ? 
Track.  Seelus, 

nullus  est. 
Gr.  Immo  est  profecto  ;  ego,  qui  sum  piscator,  scio ; 

verum  raro  capitur,  nullus  minus  saepe  ad  terram 
venit. 
Track.    Nil  agis,  dare  verba  speras  mihi  te  posse,  furcifer. 
Gr.         Quo  colore  est,  hoc  colore  capiuntur  pauxilluli ; 
sunt  alii  puniceo  corio,  magni  item  ;   atque  atri. 
Track.  Scio. 

tu  hercle,  opino,  in  vidulum  te  bis  convertes,  nisi 

caves : 
fiet  tibi  puniceum  corium,  postca  atrum  denuo.        1000 
Gr.         Quod  seelus  hodie  hoc  inveni. 
Track.  Verba  facimus,  it  dies, 

vide  sis,  cuius  ai'bitratu  nos  vis  facere. 


384 


RUDENS 

let  doAvn  my  net  and  hook,  I  pull  up  whatever's 
stuck  to  'em.  Anything  my  net  and  hooks  get 
hold  of  is  mine,  yes,  sir,  mine. 

Track.  No,  by  gad,  it  isn't,  not  if  you've  hauled  up  some 
utensil,  anyhow. 

Gr.         {scornfully)  Professor !  {attempts  to  go) 

Track,  (pulling  on  the  rope)  Look  here,  poisoner,  did  you 
ever  see  a  fisherman  catch  a  trunk-fish  or  carry 
one  to  market  ?  You  shan't  monopolize  all  the 
trades  you  want  in  these  parts,  now  I  tell  you — 
trying  to  pass  for  trunk-maker  and  fisherman 
both,  you  dirty  thing.  You've  got  to  show  me 
what  a  trunk- fish  is  like,  or  else  you  shan't  make 
off  wth  something  that  wasn't  bom  in  the  sea 
and  has  no  scales. 

Gr.  {patronizingly)  What?  You  never  heard  tell  of 
the  trunk-fish  before? 

Track.   There's  no  such  thing,  scoundrel! 

Gr.  Indeed?  Of  course  there  is.  I'm  a  fisherman 
and  I  know.  They're  scarce,  I  grant  you ;  there's 
not  a  fish  landed  less  often. 

Track.  Rot!  You  hope  you  can  fool  me,  you  gallows- 
bird. 

Gr.  {tkougktfully  surveying  ike  trunk)  As  for  the  colour 
— it's  generally  Uttle  fellows  they  catch  the  colour 
of  this  one;  there  are  others  with  red  skins — 
they're  big  ones  Uke  mine.  You  find  black  ones, 
too. 

Track,  {menacingly)  Precisely.  And  I  fancy  you'll  be 
turning  into  a  trunk  yourself,  by  gad,  a  double 
turn,  if  you  don't  look  out !  Your  skin  '11  first 
turn  red  and  then  turn  black. 

Gr.         {aside)  What  a  cursed  mess  I've  got  into  here! 

Track.  This  is  idle  talk.  Time's  fl}ing.  Kindly  name 
some  judge  you  want  to  decide  this  for  us. 

385 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.  Viduli. 

arbitratu.^     ita  enim  vero. 
Track.  Stultus  es. 

Gr.  Salve,  Thales. 

Track.    Tu  istunc  hodie  non  feres,  nisi  das  sequestrum  aut 
arbitrum, 
quoius  haec  res  arbitratu  fiat. 
Gr.  Quaeso,  sanus  es  ? 

Track.    Elleborosus  sum. 

Gr.  At  ego  cerritus,  hunc  non  amittam  tamen. 

Track.    Verbum  etiam  adde  inium,  iam  in  cerebro  colaphos 
apstrudam  tuo ; 
iam    ego    te    hie,    itidem    quasi    peniculus    novos 

exurgeri  solet, 
ni  hunc  amittis,  exurgebo  quidquid  umoris  tibist. 
Gr.         Tange :    adfligam  ad  terram  te  itidem  ut  piscem 
soleo  polypum. 


VIS  pugnare 


Track.  Quid  opust  ?  quin  tu  potius  praedam  divide. 

Gr.         Hinc  tu  nisi  mahnn  frunisci  nil  potes,  ne  postules. 

abeo  ego  hinc. 
Track.  At   ego   hinc  offlectam  navem,  ne 

quo  abeas.    mane. 
Gr.         Si  tu  proreta  isti  navi  es,  ego  gubernator  ero. 

mitte  rudentem,  sceleste. 
Track.  Mittam  :  omitte  vidulum. 

Gr.         Numquam    hercle    hinc    hodie    ramenta    fies    for- 

tunatior. 
Track.    Non    probare    pernegando    mihi    potes,   nisi    pars 
datur 
aut  ad  arbitrum  reditur  aut  sequestro  ponitur. 
Gr.         Quemne  ego  excepi  in  mari — 

^  Leo  notes  lacuna  here  :  Trach.  liane  ?  Gr.  SeyfEert. 

1  One  of  the  "  seven  wise  men  "  of  Greece. 
386 


RUDENS 

Gr.         Judge  Trunk.     Yes,  sir,  Judge  Trunk. 

Track.    You  idiot! 

Gr.         Greetings,  you  Thales.^  (tries  again  to  go) 

Track,  {holding  fast  to  the  rope)  You  shan't  get  away  with 
that  this  day  •without  appointing  some  trustee  or 
referee  to  referee  the  matter. 

Gr.         See  here,  are  you  sane  ? 

Track,    {vehemently)  No,  I'm  beside  myself! 

Gr.  {more  vehemently)  Well,  I'm  raving!  I  won't  let 
go  of  this,  for  all  you  say  ! 

Track,  (roaring)  You  add  just  one  more  word  and  I'll 
bury  my  fists  in  your  brains !  If  you  don't  let  go 
of  this,  here  and  now  I'll  squeeze  out  all  the  juice 
that's  in  you,  the  way  they  squeeze  out  a  new 


sponge 


Gr.         {ckanging  his  tone  to  one  of  grim  ferocity)  You  touch 

me,  and  I'll  beat  the  ground  M-ith  you  the  way  I 

do  with  a  pol}-pus !     D'ye  want  to  fight? 
Track,    {much  less  belligerent)  Aw,  what's  the  use  ?     Come 

on,  let's  share  the  spoils,  instead. 
Gr.         All  you'll  get  out  of  this  is  trouble,  make  up  your 

mind  to  that.     I'm  going  along,  {tugs  at  the  net) 
Track,    {encircling  him  rvitk  the  rope  and  turning  him  around) 

But  I'm  going  to  put  the  ship  about  so  that  you 

won't  be  going.     Avast  there  ! 
Gr.         {circling    Trachalio    with    his    rope)  If  you're    the 

look-out  on  that  craft,  I'll  be  helmsman.     Drop 

the  rope,  you  lubber ! 
Track.    I'll  drop  the  rope:   you  drop  the  trunk. 
Gr.         You'll  never  be  a  blessed  bit  the  richer  for  this 

find,  confound  you ! 
Track,    {tightening  his  hold)  No  number  of  noes  mil  weigh 

with  me.     You'll  need  to  go  shares  or  else  leave 

it  to  a  referee  or  give  security. 
Gr.         Hey  ?     A  trunk  I  caught  in  the  sea 

387 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.  At  ego  inspectavi  e  litore. 

Gr.         Mea  opera,  labore  et  rete  et  horia  ? 

Track.  Numqui  minus,  1020 

si  veniat  nunc  dominus  cuiust,  ego  qui  inspectavi 
procul 

te  hunc  habere,  fur  sum  quam  tu  ? 
Gr.  Nihilo. 

Track.  Mane,  mastigia : 

quo  argumento  socius  non  sum,  et  fur  sum  ?    fac 
dum  ex  te  sciam. 
Gr.         Nescio,  neque  ego  istas  vestras  leges  urbanas  scio, 

nisi  quia  hunc  meum  esse  dico. 
Track.  Et  ego  item  esse  aio  meum. 

Gr.         Mane,  iam  repperi  quo  pacto  nee  fur  nee  socius 

sies. 
Track.    Quo  pacto  ? 
Gr.  Sine  me  hinc  abire,  tu  abi  tacitus  tuam  viam; 

nee  tu  me  cui(|uam  indicassis  neque  ego  tibi  quic- 
quam  dabo ; 

tu   taceto,   ego   mussitabo :     hoc   optimum   atque 
aequissimum  est. 
Track.    Ecquid  condicionis  audes  ferre  ? 
Gr.  Iam  dudum  fero  :  1030 

ut  abeas,  rudentem  amittas,  mihi  molestus  ne  sies. 
Track.    Mane,  dum  refero  condicionem. 
Gr.  Te,  opsecro  hercle,  aufer  modo. 

Track.    Ecquem  in  his  locis  novisti  ? 

Gr.  Oportet  vicinos  meos. 

Track.    Vbi  tu  hie  habitas  ? 

Gr.  Porro  iUic  longe  usque  in  campis  ultimis. 

Track.    Vin  qui  in  hac  villa  habitat,  eius  arbitratu  fieri  ? 

388 


RUDENS 


While  I  saw  you  from  the  shore. 

Single-handed  and  unaided  with  my  own  net  and 

boat? 

Supposing  its  owner  comes  along  now,  am  I — 

that  stood  by  and  saw  you  with  it — any  less  a 

thief  than  you  ? 

{eagerly)  Not  a  bit  less ! 

Hold  on,  you  \illain !     How  do  you  make  me  out 

a  thief  without  being  a  partaker?     Just  explain 

that  to  me. 

{taken  aback)  I  don't  know,  I  don't  understand  those 

city  laws  of  yours,  anyway.  All  I  say  is,  this  is  mine. 

Yes,  and  I  maintain  it  is  mine. 

{suddenly  illuminated)  Hold  on!     Now  I  see  how 

vou  needn't  be  a  thief,  or  partaker,  either. 

How? 

You  let  me  go  my  way,  and  you  go  yours  and 

keep  your  mouth  shut.     Don't  you  give  me  away 

to  anyone,  and  I  won't  give  anything  away  to 

you.     You  keep  still,  and  I'll  keep  mum.     That's 

perfectly  fair  and  square,  {tries  to  go) 

{tightening  the  rope  again)  Do  you  intend  to  make 

me  some  offer? 

I  made  you  one  long  ago — that  you  get  out,  drop 

the  rope,  and  let  me  alone,  {pulls  at  the  net) 

{holding  him  fast  as  before)  Wait,  while  I  make  you 

a  counter  offer. 

For  God's  sake,  offer  to  be  off! 

Know  anyone  in  these  parts,  do  you? 

Ought  to  know  my  neighbours. 

Where  about  here  do  you  live  ? 

{pointing  vaguely)  Away  over  there,  ever  so  far, 

clear  at  the  end  of  the  meadows. 

Want  to  let  the  man  that  Uves  in  this  cottage 

{pointing  to  house  of  Daemones)  be  our  referee  ? 

389 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.         Paulisper  remitte  restem,  dum  concede  et  consulo. 
Track.    Fiat. 

Gr.  Euge,  salva  res  est,  praeda  haec  perpetua  est 

mea; 
ad  meum  erum  arbitrum  vocat  me  hie  intra  prae- 

sepis  meas : 
numquam  hercle   hodie   abiudicabit   ab   suo   trio- 

bolum. 
ne    iste    baud    scit    quam    condicionem    tetulerit. 
ibo  ad  arbitrum.  1040 

Track.    Quid  igitur  ? 
Gr.  Quamquam  istuc  esse  ius  meum  certo  scio, 

fiat  istuc  potius,  quam  nunc  pugnem  tecum. 
Track.  Nunc  places. 

Gr.         Quamquam  ad  ignotum  arbitrum  me  appellis,  si 
adhibebit  fidem, 
etsist  ignotus,  notus :   si  non,  notus  ignotissimust. 

IV.  4. 

Daem.    Serio  edepol,  quamquam  vobis  volo  quae  voltis, 
mulieres, 
metuo,  propter  vos  ne   uxor  mea  med  extrudat 

aedibus, 
quae  me  paelices  adduxe  dicet  ante  oculos  suos. 
vos  confugite  in  aram  potius  quam  ego. 
Puellae  Miserae  periimus. 

Daem.    Ego  vos  salvas  sistam,  ne  timete.     sed  quid  vos 
foras 
prosequimini  ?    quoniam  ego  adsum,  faciet  nemo 

iniuriam ;  1050 

ite,  inquam,  domum  ambo  nunciam  ex  praesldio 
praesides. 
390 


RUDEN'S 


Track. 
Gr. 


Track. 
Gr. 


Gr.  {hiding  his  satisfaction)  Ease  off  on  the  rope  a 
minute  while  I  turn  aside  and  think  it  over. 

Track,    (doing  so)  There  you  are  ! 

Gr.  (aside,  triumpkantly)  Hurray!  It's  all  safe  now! 
I've  got  this  prize  for  good !  Inviting  me  to  make 
my  own  master  the  referee,  right  here  in  my  own 
stall!  Gad!  WTiy,  with  him  as  judge,  not  a 
single  sixpence  ■will  ever  leave  the  family.  Lord! 
That  chap  doesn't  know  what  an  offer  he  has 
made.  A  referee  ?  Rather ! 
Well,  how  about  it  ? 

{resignedly)  Although   I'm   positive   it's   mine   by 
rights,  I'll  give  in,  sooner  dian  go  on  and  have  a 
row  with  you. 
That's  the  way  to  talk ! 

Although  it's  an  unknown  referee  you  force  on 
me,  still,  if  he's  square,  I'll  know  him,  even  if  I 
don't:  otherwise,  I'll  never  never  know  him,  even 
if  I  do. 

Scene  4.  enter  Palaestra  and  Ampelisca  in  tears  from  the 
COTTAGE,  Daemones  hesitantly  coming  after  them. 

THE  OVERSEERS  FOLLOW. 

Daem.  (very  nervous)  Oh,  good  Lord,  girls!  I  want  to 
do  what  you  want,  I  really  do,  but  I'm  afraid  my 
wife  will  run  me  out  of  the  house  on  account  of 
you.  She'll  say  I  paraded  my  mistresses  right  in 
front  of  her  face.  I'd  rather  you  fled  to  the  altar 
than  do  so  myself. 

Girls      Oh  dear,  dear,  dear ! 

Daem.  I'll  see  you're  safe,  never  fear,  (noticing  the  over- 
seers) But  why  are  you  escorting  us  out  ?  No 
one  will  harm  them  now  that  I  am  here.     Inside 


at  once, 
guard ! 


I   tell  you,   both  of  you!     Guards  off 

[exeunt  Overseers. 
391 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.         O  ere,  salve. 

Daem.  Salve,  Gripe,     quid  fit? 

Track.  Tuosne  hie  servos  est  ? 

Gr,         Haud  pudet. 

Track.  Nil  ago  tecum. 

Gr.  Ergo  abi  hinc  sis. 

Track.  Quaeso  responde,  senex : 

tuos  hie  servost  ? 
Daem.  Meus  est. 

Track.  Em  istue  optime,  quando  tuost. 

Iterum  te  saluto. 
Daem.  Et  ego  te.     tune  es  qui  haud  multo  prius 

abiisti  hinc  erum  accersitum  ? 
Track.  Ego  is  sum. 

Daem.  Quid  nunc  vis  tibi  ? 

Track.    Nempe  hie  tuos  est? 
Daem.  Meus  est. 

Track.  Istuc  optime,  quando  tuost. 

Daem.    Quid  negotist? 

Track.  Vir  scelestus  illic  est. 

Daem.  Quid  fecit  tibi 

vir  scelestus  ? 
Track.  Homini  ego  isti  talos  subfringi  volo. 

Daem.    Quid  est  ?   qua  de  re  litigatis  nunc  inter  vos  ? 
Track.  Eloquar.  1060 

Gr.         Immo  ego  eloquar. 

Track.  Ego,  opinor,  rem  facesso. 

Gr.  Si  quidem 

sis  pudicus,  hinc  facessas. 
Daem.  Gripe,  animum  advorte  ac  tace. 

392 


RUDENS 

(calling)  Oh,  master!     Good-morning! 
(approaching  them,  the  girls  going  to  the  altar)  Good- 
morning,  Gripus.     How  goes  it? 
(to  Daemones,  in  surprise)  Is  this  fellow  your  slave, 
sir? 

And  not  ashamed  to  be. 
(to  Gripus,  icily)  I'm  not  concerned  with  you. 
Then  kindly  get  out  of  here, 
(to  Daemones)  Do  please  answer  me,  sir.     Is  this 
fellow  your  slave  ? 
Yes,  mine. 

Well,  well,  that's  fine,  his  being  yours!     Good- 
morning  to  you  again,  sir ! 

The   same   to   you.   (looking   at  him   more  closely) 
Aren't  you  the  man  that  left  here  not  long  ago  to 
call  your  master? 
I'm  the  man,  sir. 
WTiat  do  you  want  now  ? 
So  this  fellow's  really  yours? 
Yes,  mine. 

That's  fine,  his  being  yours!  (glares  hatefully  at 
Gripus) 

What's  the  matter  ? 
He's  an  outrage  of  a  man ! 

And  what  has  this  outrage  of  a  man  done  to  you  ? 
I  want  his  legs  broken  for  him ! 
What's  the  matter?    What  are  you  rowing  about 
now,  you  two  ? 
I'll  explain,  sir. 
No,  you  won't!     I'll  explain. 
(coldly)  I  am  on  the  stand  here,  I  believe. 
You'd  be  on  the  move  out  of  here,  if  you  only  had 
some  decency. 

(sternly)  Your  attention,  Gripus,  and  none  of  your 
talk! 

393 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.  Vtin  istic  prius  dicat  ? 

Daem.  Audi,     loquere  tu, 

Gr.  Alienon  prius 

quam  tuo  dabis  orationem  ? 
Track.  Vt  nequitur  comprimi. 

ita  ut  occepi  dicere,  ilium  quern  dudum  e  fano  foras 
lenonem  extrusisti,  hie  eius  vidulum  eccillum  tenet. 
Gr.         Non  habeo. 

Track.  Negas  quod  oculis  video  ? 

Gr.  At  ne  videas  velim. 

habeo,  non  habeo :    quid  tu  me  curas  quid  rerum 
geram  ? 
Track.    Quo  modo  habeas,  id  refert,  iurene  anne  iniuria. 
Gr.         Ni  istum  cepi,  nulla  causa  est  quin  me  condones 

cruci ;  1070 

si  in  mari  reti  prehendi,  qui  tuom  potiust  quam 
meum  ? 
Track.    Verba  dat.     hoc  modo  res  gesta  est  ut  ego  dico. 
Gr.  Quid  tu  ais  ? 

Track.    Quod  primarius  vir  dicat :    comprime  hunc  sis,  si 

tuost. 
Gr.         Quid  ?    tu  idem  mihi  vis  fieri  quod  erus  consuevit 
tibi  ? 
si  ille  te  comprimere  solitust,  hie  noster  nos  non 
solet. 
Daem.    Verbo  illo  modo  ille  vicit.     quid  nunc  tu  vis  ?    die 

mihi. 
Track.    Equidem   ego   neque   partem  posco  mi   istinc  de 
istoc  vidulo 
neque  meum  esse  hodie  umquam  dixi ;    sed  isti 
inest  cistellula 

394 


RUDENS 

What  ?    And  let  him  sp>eak  first  ? 
(to  Gripus)  Listen,  (to  Trachalio)  Out  with  it,  you. 
You'll  let  an  outsider's  slave  have  the  first  word 
before  your  own? 

(to  Daemones,  n-ith  a  superior  nod  torvard  Gripus)  How 
hard  it  is  to  plug  him  up !  But  as  I  was  about  to 
say,  sir,  that  pimp  you  ran  out  of  the  temple  a 
while  ago — this  chap  has  got  hold  of  his  teimk, 
look! 
I  haven't! 

You  deny  what  I  see  with  my  own  eyes  ? 
Ugh !     I  only  wish  you'd  lose  'em !     Whether  I 
have  it  or  haven't  it,  what  makes  you  meddle  with 
my  affairs  ? 

The  important  point  is  how  you  have  it,  rightfully 
or  wrongfully. 

(to  Daemones)  If  I  didn't  haul  it  up,  I  have  noth- 
ing against  your  handing  me  to  the  hangman,  {to 
Trachalio)  If  I  caught  it  in  my  net  in  the  sea,  how 
is  it  yours  instead  of  mine  ? 

(to  Daemones)  He's  bluffing,  sir.     The  case  is  just 
as  I  state  it. 
Hey?     WTiat'sthat? 

My  rights  as  first  speaker !  If  that  fellow's  yours, 
sir,  kindly  plug  him  up. 

So  ?  Want  me  to  be  handled  the  same  way  your 
master  handles  you,  eh?  Yours  may  be  used  to 
plugging  you  up,  but  ours  doesn't  use  us  that 
way. 

(to  Trachalio,  chuckling)  He  got  the  best  of  you 
that  time.  Well  now,  what  do  you  want?  "Tell 
me. 

I'm  neither  claiming  any  part  of  what's  in  that 
trunk  there,  nor  did  I  ever  say  it  was  mine  at  all, 
no,  sir.    But  inside  it  is  a  little  casket  belonging 

395 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

huius  mulieris,  quam  dudum  dixi  fuisse  liberam. 
Daem.    Nempe   tu  banc   dicis   quam   esse   aiebas   dudum 

popularem  meam  ?  1080 

Track.    Admodum ;    et  ea  quae  olim  parva  gestavit  cre- 
pundia 

istic  in  ista  cistula  insunt,  quae  isti  inest  in  vidulo. 

hoc   neque   isti   usust,    et    illi    miserae   suppetias 
feret, 

si  id  dederit,  qui  suos  parentis  quaerat. 
Daem.  Faciam  ut  det.     tace. 

Gr.         Nil  hercle  ego  sum  isti  daturus. 
Track.  Nil  peto  nisi  cistulam 

et  crepundia. 
Gr.  Quid  si  ea  sunt  aurea  ? 

Track.  Quid  istuc  tua  ? 

aurum  auro  expendetur,  argentum  argento  exae- 
quabitur. 
Gr.         Fac  sis  aurum  ut  videam,  post  ego  faciam  ut  videas 

cistulam. 
Daem.    Cave   malo   ac    tace    tu,      tu    perge    ut   occepisti 

dicere. 
Track.    Vnum    te    obsecro,    ut    ted    huius    commiserescat 

mulieris,  1090 

si  quidem  hie  lenonis  eiust  vidulus,  quern  suspicor ; 

hie,  nisi  de  opinione,  certum  nil  dico  tibi. 
Gr.         Viden  ?   scelestus  aucupatur. 
Track.  Sine  me  ut  occepi  loqui. 

si  scelesti  illius  est  hie,  cuius  dico,  vidulus, 

haec  poterunt  novisse  :   ostendere  his  iube. 
Gr.  Ain  ?  ostendere  ? 

Daem.    Haud  iniquom  dicit.  Gripe,  ut  ostendatur  vidulus. 
Gr.         Immo  hercle  insignite  inique. 
Daem.  Quidum  ? 

Gr.  Quia,  si  ostendero, 

continuo  hunc  novisse  dicent  scilicet. 

396 


RUDENS 

to  this  girl  that  I  previously  told  you  was  freeborn. 
Daem.    I  suppose  you  mean  the  girl  you  previously  said 

was  a  compatriot  of  mine  ? 
Trtich.    Exactly,  sir.     And  the  toys  she  used  to  have  as  a 

child  are  there  inside   that  casket  that's   there 

inside  the  trunk.     It's  of  no  use  to  him,  and  he'll 

be  helping  that  poor  girl  if  he  gives  her  this  means 

of  identifying  her  parents. 
Daem.    I'll  see  he  does,  (to  Gripus)  No  talk! 
Gr.         Not  a  thing  will  I  give  him,  by  heaven ! 
Track.    Not  a  thing  do  I  ask  for  but  the  casket  and  toys. 
Gr.         What  if  they're  gold."* 
Track.    What's  that  to  you?    You'll  get  gold  for  gold, 

silver  for  silver,  same  weight  and  same  value. 
Gr,         Just  you  let  me  see  your  gold,  and  then  I'll  let 

you  see  the  casket. 
Daem.    (to  Gripus)  Look  out  for  trouble  and  hold  your 

tongue !  (to  Trachalio)  Go  on,  you,  with  what  you 

were  saying. 
Track.   The  one  thing  I  beg  of  you,  sir,  is  to  take  pity  on 

this  girl,  if  this  is  really  the  pimp's  trunk,  as  I 

suspect  it  is.     I'm  only  guessing  so  far,  not  telling 

you  anything  for  certain. 
Gr.         Hear  that  ?     He's  setting  a  trap,  the  villain ! 
Track.    Let  me  go  on  with  what  I  was  saying.     If  this 

trunk  does  belong  to  that  villain   I    say,  these 

girls   can   recognize   it.      Make  him  show  it  to 

them. 
Gr.         Hey?     Show  it? 
Daem.    There's  nothing  unfair  in  his  request,  Gripus,  that 

the  trunk  be  shown. 
Gr.         Lord  save  us !     It's  utterly  unfair ! 
Daem.    How  so  ? 
Gr.         Why,  once  I  show  it,  they'll  instantly  say  they 

recognize  it,  of  course  they  will. 

397 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.  Scelerum  caput, 

ut  tute  es,  item  omnis  censes  esse,  periuri  caput  ? 
Gr.         Omnia  istaec  ego  facile  patior,  dum  hie  hinc  a  me 

sentiat.  1100 

Track.    At  qui  nunc  abs  te  stat,  verum  hinc  cibit  ^  testi- 
monium. 
Daem.    Gripe,  advorte  animum.     tu  paucis  expedi,  quid 

postulas. 
Track.    Dixi  equidem,  sed  si  parum  intellexti,  dicam  denuo. 
hasce    ambas,    ut   dudum    dixi,   ita    esse    oportet 

liberas : 
haec  Athenis  parva  fuit  virgo  surpta. 
Gr.  Die  mihi, 

quid  id  ad  vidulum,^  servae  sint  istae  an  fuerint 
hberae  ? 
Track.    Omnia  iterum  vis  memorari,  scelus,  ut  defiat  dies. 
Daem.    Apstine  maledictis  et  mihi  quod  rogavi  dilue. 
Track.    Cistellam    isti    inesse    oportet    caudeam    in    isto 
vidulo, 
ubi  sunt  signa  qui  parentes  noscere  haec  possit 

suos,  1110 

quibuscum  periit  parva  Athenis,  sicuti  dixi  prius. 
Gr.         luppiter  te  dique  perdant.     quid  ais,  vir  venefice  ? 
quid,  istae  mutae  sunt,  quae  pro  se  fabulari  non 
queant  ? 
Track.    Eo    tacent,    quia   tacitast    mehor   muher   semper 

quam  loquens. 
Gr.         Tum  pol  tu  pro  portione  nee  vir  nee  muher  mihi  es. 
Track.    Quidum  ? 

Gr.  Quia  enim  neque  loquens  es  neque  tacens 

umquam  bonus, 
quaeso,  enumquam  hodie  licebit  mihi  loqui  ? 

^  cibit  Acidalius  :  ihi  MSS. 

•  Leo  brackets  following  pertinet. 


RUDENS 

Track.    You  fount  of  iniquity  !     D'ye  suppose  everyone's 

like  yourself,  you  fount  of  perjury  ? 
Gr.         All  that  sort  of  talk's  easy  to  put  up  with,  so  long 

as  master  here  is  on  my  side. 
Track.    It  may  be  on  your  side  he's  standing  now,  but  he'll 

take  e\'idence  from  this  side,  {indicating  tke  girls) 
Daem.    (as  Gripus  fumes)  Attention,  Gripus !  (to  Trachalio) 

And  you,  state  briefly  what  you  want. 
Track.    Why,  sir,  I've  told  you,  but  if  it  isn't  clear,  I'll  tell 

you  a  second  time.     Both  these  girls,  as  I  told 

you   a  while   ago,   ought   to   be   free.     This   one 

(pointing  to  Palaestra)  was  stolen  from  Athens  as  a 

child. 
Gr.         And  what  has  it  got  to  do  with  the  trunk  whether 

they're  slaves  or  were  free,  tell  me  that  ? 
Track.    You  want  everj'thing  repeated,  rascal,  so  as  to 

kill  time. 
Daem.    Drop   your   abuse   and   explain   what   I've   asked 

you. 
Track,    (patiently)  Inside   that   trunk   there   should   be    a 

casket  made  of  rushes,  containing  some  things  by 

which  she  can  recognize  her  parents,  things  she 

had  with  her  when  she  vanished  from  Athens  in 

childhood,  as  I  said  before. 
Gr.         I  wish  to  God  you'd  vanish  from  earth!     Look 

here,  poisoner!     Tell  me,  are  those  girls  dumb, 

that  they  can't  do  their  own  chattering? 
Track.    They're  silent  because  a  woman's  always  worth 

more  seen  than  heard. 
Gr.         Gad !     Then  I  take  it  you  aren't  fully  qualified  as 

a  man  or  woman  either. 
Track.    How  so  ? 
Gr.         Why,  because,  seen  or  heard  either,  you're  always 

worthless,  (to  Daemones)  I  say,  ain't  I  ever  going 

to  get  a  chance  to  speak  to-day  ? 

399 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Daem.  Si  praeterhac 

unum  verbum  faxis  hodie,  ego  tibi  comminuam 

caput. 

Track.    Vt  id  occepi  dicere,  senex,  earn  te  quaeso  cistulam 

ut   iubeas    hunc    reddere    illis ;     ob    earn   si    quid 

postulat  1120 

sibi    mercedis,    dabitur :     aliud    quidquid    ibi    est 
habeat  sibi. 
Gr.         Nunc  demum  istuc  dicis,  quoniam  ius  meum  esse 
intellegis : 
dudum  dimidiam  petebas  partem. 
Track.  Immo  etiam  nunc  peto. 

Gr.         Vidi    petere    tniluom,    etiam    cum    nihil    auferret 

tamen. 
Daem.    Non  ego  te  comprimere  possum  sine  malo  ? 
Gr.  Si  istic  tacet, 

ego  tacebo ;    si  iste  loquitur,  sine  me  pro  parte 
loqui. 
Daem.    Cedo  modo  mihi  vidulum  istum,  Gi*ipe. 
Gr.  Concedam  tibi, 

ac,  si  istorum  nil  sit,  ut  mihi  reddas. 
Daem.  Reddetur. 

Gr.  Tene. 

Daem.    Audi    nunciam,    Palaestra   atque   Ampelisca,   hoc 
quod  loquor. 
estne  hie  vidulus  ubi  cistellam  tuam  inesse  aiebas  ? 
Pal.  Is  est.  1130 

Gr.         Perii    hercle    ego    miser,    uti,   prius    quam   plane 
aspexit,  ilico 
eum  esse  dixit. 
Pal.  Faciam  ego  hanc  rem  ex  procliva 

planam  tibi. 
cistellam  isti  inesse  oportet  caudeam  in  isto  vidulo. 
ibi  ego  dicam  quidquid  inerit  nominatim :  tu  mihi 
nullum  ostenderis ;  si  falsa  dicam,  frustra  dixero, 

400 


RUDENS 


Just  one  more  word  from  you  to-day,  and  I'll 
smash  your  skull ! 

As  I  was  saying,  sir,  I  do  wish  you'd  make  him 
give  this  casket  back  to  them.  If  he  claims  a 
reward  for  it,  he  shall  have  one :  and  let  him  keep 
for  himself  anything  else  that's  in  it. 
{sneering)  Yes,  finally  you  say  that,  now  you  realize 
I  have  a  right  to  it.  A  while  ago  you  were  after 
a  half  of  it. 

Well,  and  I'm  after  it  still. 

I've  seen  a  kite  after  something,  and  still  get 
nothing,  though. 

{to  Gripus)  Can't  I  plug  you  up  without  making 
trouble  ? 

If  he  shuts  his  mouth,  I'll  shut  mine.     If  he  goes 
on  talking,  let  me  have  my  say. 
Here,  Gripus,  give  me  that  trunk. 
{after  an  inward  debate)  I'll  give  it  up  to  you — I 
to  get  it  back,  if  none  of  that  stuff's  in  it. 
You  shall  get  it  back. 
{tugging  it  up  to  Daemones)  There  you  are ! 
{calling  to   the  girls)  Palaestra!     Ampelisca,   too! 
Now  then,  listen  to  what  I  say.  {they  approach)  Is 
this  the  trunk  {to  Palaestra)  you  said  your  casket 
was  in? 

{eagerly)  Yes,  it  is ! 

Oh,  damnation!  I'm  done  for!  The  way  she 
said  it  was  the  one,  at  once,  without  even  giving 
it  c  good  look ! 

{to  Daemones)  It  does  look  doubtful,  sir,  but  I'll 
make  my  claim  clear  to  you.  There  in  that  trunk 
should  be  a  rush  casket.  I'll  name  every  article 
in  it,  one  by  one :  you're  not  to  show  me  a  single 
thing.  If  I  make  mistakes,  that  makes  my  claim 
void,  and  you  can  disregard  me  and  keep  what- 

401 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

vos    tamen    istaec,    quidquid    istic    inerit,    vobis 

habebitis ; 
sed   si   erunt   vera,   turn   opsecro   te,   ut  mea   mi 
reddantur. 
Daem.      ,  Placet. 

ius  merum  oras  nieo  quidem  animo. 
Gr.  At  meo  hercle  iniiiriam. 

quid  si  ista  aut  superstitiosa  aut  hariolast  atque 

omnia, 
quidquid  insit,  vera  dicet  ?   anne  habebit  hariola  ?     1140 
Daem.    Non   feret,   nisi   vera   dicet :     nequiquam   hariola- 
bitur. 
solve  vidulum  ergo,  ut  quid  sit  verum  quam  primum 
sciam. 
Gr.         Hoc  habet,  solutust. 

Daem.  Aperi.     video  cistellam.     haecinest  ? 

Pal.        Istaec  est.     o  mei  parentes,  hie  vos  conclusos  gero, 
hue     opesque     spesque     vestrum     cognoscendum 
condidi. 
Gr.         Turn  tibi  hercle  deos  iratos  esse  oportet,  quisquis  es, 
quae  parentis  tarn  in  angustum  tuos  locum  com- 
pegeris. 
Daem.    Gripe,  accede  hue ;    tua  res  agitur.      tu,  puella, 
istinc  pi-ocul 
dicito  quid  insit  et  qua  facie,  memorato  omnia, 
si     hercle     tantillum     peccassis,     quod     posterius 

postules  1150 

te    ad    verum    convorti,    nugas,    mulier,    magnas 
egeris. 
Gr.         Ius  bonum  oras. 

Track.  Edepol  haud  te  orat,  nam  tu  iniuriu's. 

Daem.    Loquere  nunciam,  puella.     Gripe,  animum  advorte 
ac  tace. 


402 


RUDENS 

ever  is  in  there  for  yourselves.  But  if  I  don't 
make  mistakes,  then  do  please  let  me  have  my 
own  things  back. 

Agreed.     Yes,  I  call  those  terms  perfectly  fair. 
But  I  call  'em  perfectly  unfair,  by  heaven !     What 
if  she's  a  witch  or  fortune-teller,  and  names  every- 
thing in  it  rightly?     Is  a  fortune-teller  going  to 
get  it  ? 

She  gets  nothing  unless  she  does  name  things 
rightly.  Fortune-telling  won't  help  her.  So  un- 
fasten the  trunk  and  let  me  learn  the  facts  as  soon 
as  possible. 

(rvith  assumed  confidence  as  he  unfastens  it)  Here's 
the  end  of  her !  (to  Daemones)  It's  unfastened. 
Open  it.  (Gripus  does  so,  glances  inside,  falls  back, 
choking)  I  see  a  casket!  {hands  it  to  Palaestra)  Is 
this  it  ? 

It  is !  Oh,  my  dear  parents,  here  I  hold  you 
enclosed  within!  Here  I've  stored  all  means  and 
hopes  of  knowing  you ! 

Then,  by  gad,  you  ought  to  catch  it  from  the 
gods,  whoever  you  are,  for  cooping  up  your  parents 
in  such  narrow  quarters. 

(taking  the  casket  and  motioning  Palaestra  to  stand 
aside)  Gripus,  step  up  here;  it's  your  case  that's 
on.  As  for  you,  girl,  name  and  describe,  from 
away  over  there,  what's  inside  here,  and  mind 
you  mention  everything.  If  you  make  the  slightest 
shp  and  suppose  you  can  correct  yourself  later,  let 
me  tell  you  it  won't  be  of  the  least  use,  young 
lady. 

(pleased)  That's  putting  it  straight! 
Gad!     It's  not  you  he's  putting:  you're  crooked. 
(opening    the    casket)  Now    then,    girl,    speak    up. 
Gripus,  pay  attention  and  keep  your  mouth  shut. 

403 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pal.        Sunt  crepundia. 

Daem.  Ecca  video. 

Gr.  Peril  in  primo  proelio. 

mane,  ne  ostenderis. 
Daem.  Qua  facie  sunt  ?   responde  ex  ordine. 

Pal.        Ensiculust  aureolus  primum  litteratus. 
Daem.  Dice  dum, 

in  eo  ensiculo  litterarum  quid  est  ? 
Pal.  Mei  nomen  patris. 

post  altrinsecust  securicula  ancipes,  itidem  aurea 

litterata :   ibi  matris  nomen  in  securiculast. 
Daem.  Mane. 

die,  in  ensiculo  quid  nomen  est  paternum  ? 
Pal.  Daemones.     1160 

Daem.    Di  immortales,  ubi  loci  sunt  spes  meae  ? 
Gr.  Immo  edepol  meae  ? 

Track.    Pergite,  opsecro,  continue. 

Gr.  Placide,  aut  i  in  malam  crucem. 

Daem.    Loquere  matris  nomen  hie  quid  in  securicula  siet. 
Pal.        Daedalis. 

Daem.  Di  me  servatum  cupiunt. 

Gr.  At  me  perditum. 

Daem.    Filiam  meam  esse  banc  oportet.  Gripe. 
Gr.  Sit  per  me  quidem. 

qui   te   di   omnes   perdant,   qui   me   hodie   oculis 
vidisti  tuis, 

meque     adeo     scelestum,     qui     non     circumspexi 
centiens, 

prius  me  ne  quis  inspectaret  quam  rete  extraxi 
ex  aqua. 

404 


RUDENS 

There's  a  chain  of  toys. 

(letting  Gripus  see  it)  Yes,  here  it  is ! 

(aside,  morosely)  Finished  in  the  first  round!  (to 

Daemones)  Hold  on !     Don't  show  it  her ! 

What  sort  of  toys  ?     Answer  in  detail. 

First,   there's   a  tiny  little  gold  sword  with   an 

inscription. 

(finding  it)  Come  then,  what's  the  inscription  on 

this  little  sword?  (looks  for  it) 

The  name  of  my  father.     Then  on  the  other  side 

there's  a  little  two-headed  axe,  also  made  of  gold 

and  inscribed:    it's  my  mother's  name  there  on 

the  axe. 

(startled  at  rvhat  he  sees)  Wait!     Tell  me,  what's 

this  name  on  the  sword,  your  father's  name  ? 

Daemones. 

(half  aside,  much  agitated)  Good  God !     These  hopes 

of  mine ! 

(ruefully)  Huh !     And  mine !     Oh,  Lord ! 

(to  Palaestra  and  Daemones)  Get  on,  for  heaven's 

sake,  keep  at  it ! 

(to  Trachalio,  indignantly)  Gro  easy  there !     Or  else 

go  hang ! 

(after  examining  the  axe)  And  your  mother's  name 

here  on  the  little  axe — tell  me  that ! 

Daedalis. 

(eagerly  studying  Palaestra's  face)  Ah,  this  is  help 

from  Heaven! 

Yes,  but  hell  for  me ! 

Gripus,  this  must  be  my  daughter ! 

Let  her  be,  for  all  I  care !  (to   Trachalio)  Ugh ! 

God  curse  you  for  setting  eyes  on  me  to-day ! 

Yes,  and  me  for  being  an  infernal  fool  that  didn't 

look  around  a  hundred  times  to  see  nobody  was 

watching  before  I  pulled  my  net  out  of  the  water ! 

405 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pal.        Post  sicilicula  argenteola  et  duae  conexae  mani- 
culae  et 
sucula. 
Gr.  Quin  tu  i  dierecta,  cum  sucula  et  cum  porculis.   1170 

Pal.        Et  bulla  aurea  est,  pater  quam  dedit  mi  natali 

die. 
Daem.    Ea  est  profecto.     contineri   quin  complectar  non 
queo. 
filia  mea,  salve,     ego  is  sum  qui  te  produxi  pater, 
ego  sum  Daemones,  et  mater  tua  eccam  hie  intus 
Daedalis. 
Pal.        Salve,  mi  pater  insperate. 

Daem.  Salve,     ut  te  ampleotor  libens. 

Track.    Volup  est  cum  istuc  ex  pietate  vestra  vobis  con- 

tigit. 
Daem.    Cape  dum,  hunc  si  potes  fer  intro  vidulum,  age, 

Trachalio. 
Track.    Ecce  Gripi  scelera.    cum  istaec  res  male  evenit  tibi, 

Gripe,  gratulor. 
Daem.  Age  eamus,  mea  gnata,  ad  matrem  tuam, 

quae   ex  te  poterit  argumentis   hanc  rem  magis 

exquirere,  1180 

quae  te  magis  tractavit  magisque  signa  pernovit 
tua. 
Track.    Eamus   intro   omnes,   quando   operam  promiscam 

damus. 
Pal.        Sequere  me,  Ampelisca. 

Amp.  Cum  te  di  amant,  voluptati  est  mihi. 

Grip.      Sumne    ego    scelestus,    qui    illunc    hodie    excepi 
vidulum  ? 
aut  cum  excepi,  qui  non  alicubi  in  solo  abstrusi 

loco? 
credebam  edepol  turbulentam  praedam  eventuram 
mihi, 

406 


RUDENS 

Then  there's  a  tiny  little  silver  sickle  and  a  tiny 

pair  of  clasped  hands,  and  a  windlass 

Go  to  Hades  with  your  wind,  lass,  and  take  along 

your  little  windpipe ! 

And  there's  a  gold  locket,  too,  that  my  father 

gave  me  on  my  birthday. 

{looking  at  it)  She   is,   she   certainly   is !     I   can't 

keep  from  hugging  her  any  longer!   (throivs  his 

arms  about  her)  Ah,  my  own  daughter!     I  am  the 

father  that  reared  you !     I  am  Daemones  myself, 

and  look,  inside  here  is  your  mother,  Daedalis ! 

Ah,  dear  father,  father  unhoped  for ! 

Ah,  the  joy  of  having  you  in  my  arms ! 

It's  grand  seeing  you  good  folks  get  the  luck  you 

deserve ! 

Come,  Trachalio,  just  see  if  you  can't  take  this 

trunk  and  carry  it  inside. 

{blithely  laying  hold  of  it)  Look  at  poor  old  Gripus ! 

Hard    luck,    Gripus !     I    want    to    express    my — 

satisfaction. 

{to  Palaestra)  Come,  let's  go  to  your  mother,  my 

child.      She  can  make  further  inquiries  and  test 

you  better,  having  had  more  to  do  with  you  and 

knowing  more  about  those  tokens  of  yours. 

{carefully  excluding  Gripus)  Let's  all  go  in  together, 

sir,  seeing  we've  all  got  a  part  in  it. 

[exeunt  Trachalio  and  Daemones. 
Come  along  wdth  me,  Ampelisca. 
I  'm  so  glad  that  God  has  been  good  to  you ! 

[exeunt. 
{very  Ion;)  Now  ain't  I  a  damned  fool,  to  have 
fished  up  that  trunk  to-day  ?  Or  not  to  have 
hidden  it  some  place  out  of  sight  when  I  did  fish 
it  up?  Oh  Lord!  I  fancied  I'd  have  a  wild  wild 
time  with  this  catch,  catching  it  in  such  wild  wild 

407 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

quia  ilia  mihi  tam  turbulenta  tempestate  evenerat. 
credo  edepol  ego  illic  inesse  ai'genti  et  auri  largiter. 
quid  meliust,  quam  ut  hinc  Intro  abeam  et  me 

suspendam  clanculum, 
saltem  tantisper  dum  abscedat  haec  a  me  aegri- 

mnnin  ? 


IV.  5. 

Daem,    Pro  di  immortales,  quis  me  est  fortunatior, 
qui  ex  improviso  filiam  inveni  meam  ? 
satin  si  cui  homini  dei  esse  bene  factum  volunt, 
aliquo  illud  pacto  optingit  optatum  piis  ? 
ego  hodie  neque  speravi  neque  illud  credidi : 
is  improviso  filiam  inveni  tamen ; 
et  eam  de  genere  summo  adulescenti  dabo 
ingenuo,  Atheniensi  et  cognato  meo. 
ego  eum  adeo  arcessi  hue  ad  me  quam  primum 

volo, 
iussique  exire  hue  servom  eius,  ut  ad  forum  1200 

iret ;   nondum  egressum  esse  eum,  id  miror  tamen. 
nccedam,  opinor,  ad  fores,     quid  conspicor? 
uxor  complexa  collo  retinet  filiam. 
nimis  paene  inepta  atque  odiosa  eius  amatiost. 


IV.  6. 


Aliquando  osculando  meliust,  uxor,  pausam  fieri ; 
atque  adorna,  ut  rem  divinam  faciam,  cum  intro 

advenero, 
Laribus  familiaribus,  cum  auxerunt  nostram  fami- 

liam. 
sunt  domi  agni  et  porci  sacres.     sed  quid  istum 

remoramini. 
mulieres,  Trachalionem  ?   atque  optime  cecum  exit 

for  as. 

408 


RUDENS 

weather!  Oh  Lord!  And  there's  all  sorts  of 
silver  and  gold  in  it,  I  fancy.  Well,  the  best  I 
can  do  is  go  inside  and  hang  myself,  on  the  quiet 
— at  least  for  a  while,  till  I  feel  better. 

[exit. 

(Scene  5.    enter  Daemones  from  his  house,  much  pleased 

WITH  life. 

lem.  Ye  immortal  gods!  Who's  a  luckier  man  than  I 
am — discovering  my  daughter  so  unexpectedly  ? 
Isn't  it  a  fact  that  if  the  gods  wish  to  help  a  man, 
it  does  somehow  come  about  that  the  prayers  of 
the  pious  are  answered?  Here  I  was,  never 
hoping  or  believing  it  could  happen :  yet  here  I 
am  with  my  daughter  unexpectedly  discovered. 
And  I'm  going  to  marry  her  to  a  fine  young  fellow 
of  one  of  the  best  families  in  Athens,  related  to 
me,  too.  I  certainly  want  to  have  him  summoned 
here  at  once ;  {glancing  about  impatiently)  yes,  and 
that  slave  of  his  had  my  orders  to  come  out  and 
nm  over  to  the  forum.  Odd  he  hasn't  come  out 
yet,  though.  I'd  better  go  to  the  door,  (looking 
into  the  house)  Eh  ?  \Miat's  this  I  see  ?  My  wife, 
arms  around  her  daughter's  neck,  clinging  to  her ! 

^ene  Comes  precious  near  being  a  silly  nuisance,  all 
6.  her  fondling!  (shouting)  Wife!  Better  call  a  halt 
on  that  kissing  some  time !  Yes,  and  get  things 
ready  for  me  to  make  an  offering  to  the  household 
gods  when  I  return,  seeing  they've  augmented 
our  household.  We  have  lambs  and  pigs  for 
sacrifice.  See  here,  you  women !  What  are  you 
keeping  that  Trachalio  for  ?  Ah !  Here  he  comes ! 
Good! 


409 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.    Vbi  ubi   erit,  iam  investigabo  et  mecum  ad  te 

adducam  simul  1210 

Plesidippum. 
Daem.  Eloquere  ut  haec  res  optigit  de  filia ; 

eum  roga,  ut  relinquat  alias  res  et  hue  veniat. 
Track.  Licet. 

Daem.    Dicito  daturum  meam  illi  filiam  uxorem. 
Track.  Licet. 

Daem.    Et  patrem  eius  me  novisse  et  mi  esse  cognatum. 
Track.  Licet. 

Daem.    Sed  propera. 
Track.  Licet. 

Daem,  lam  hie  fac  sit,  cena  ut  curetur. 

Track.  Licet. 

Daem.    Omnian  licet? 
Track.  Licet,     sed  scin  quid  est  quod  te  volo  ? 

quod  promisisti  ut  memineris,  hodie  ut  liber  sim. 
Daem.  Licet. 

Track.    Fac  ut  exores  Plesidippum,  ut  me  manu  emittat. 
Daem.  Licet. 

Track.    Et  tua  filia  facito  oret :  facile  exorabit. 
Daem.  Licet. 

Track.    Atque  ut  mi  Ampelisca  nubat,  ubi  ego  sim  liber. 
Daem.  Licet.   1220 

Track.    Atque  ut  gratum  mi  beneficium  factis  experiar. 
Daem.  Licet. 

Track.    Omnian  licet  ? 
Daem.  Licet :  tibi  rursimi  refero  gratiam. 

sed  propera  ire  in  urbem  actutum  et  recipe  te  hue 
rursum. 

410 


RUDENS 

ENTER  Trackalio. 
(to    Palaestra    inside,    patronizingly)  I'll    hunt    up 
Plesidippus  for  you  at  once  and  bring  him  back 
with  me,  no  matter  where  he  is. 
(to  Trackalio,  urgently)  Tell  him  all  that  happened 
about  my  daughter;   ask  him  to  drop  everything 
else  and  come  here. 
(nonchalantly)  Right. 
Sav  he  shall  marry  my  daughter. 
Right. 

And  that  I  know  his  father,  and  that  he's  a  relative 
of  mine. 
Right. 

But  be  quick,  man! 
Right. 

Make  him  hurry  up,  so  that  we  can  see  to  dinner. 
Right,  (saunters  off) 
"  Right  "  to  everything,  eh? 

(over  his  shoulder)  Right,   (halting)  But  you  know 
what  it  is   I  want  of  you  ?     To  remember  your 
promise  that  I'd  be  freed  to-day. 
(quizzically)  Right. 

See  you  get  Plesidippus  to  give  me  up. 
Right. 

And  see  that  your  daughter  gets  in  her  word : 
she'll  get  it  out  of  him  easily. 
Right. 

And  that  Ampelisca  marries  me  when  I'm  free. 
Right. 

And  that  I  get  real  pay  for  a  real  service. 
Right. 

(grinning)  "  Right  "  to  everything,  eh? 
(loudly)  Right!     I'm    paying    you    back    in    your 
own  coin.     But  move !     Hurry  along  to  the  city 
and  then  retxim  here. 

411 


TITUS   MACCIUS   PLAUTUS 

Track.  Licet. 

iam   hie   ero.     tu  interibi   adorna  ceterum  quod 
opust. 
Daem.  Licet. 

Hercules  istum  infelicet  cum  sua  licentia ; 

ita   meas    replevit    auris,    quidquid   memorabam, 
licet. 
IV.  7. 

Gr.         Quam  mox  licet  te  compellare,  Daemones  ? 
Daem.    Quid  est  negoti,  Gripe  ? 
Gr.  De  illo  vidulo : 

si  sapias,  sapias ;  habeas  quod  di  dant  boni. 
Daem.    Aequom  videtur,  tibi,  ut  ego,  alienum  quod  est,        1230 

meum  esse  dicam  ? 
Gr.  Quodne  ego  inveni  in  mari  ? 

Daem.    Tanto  illi  melius  optigit  qui  perdidit ; 

tuom  esse  nihilo  magis  oportet  vidulum. 
Gr.         Isto  tu  pauper  es,  quom  nimis  sancte  pius. 
Daem.    O  Gripe,  Gripe,  in  aetate  hominum  plurimae 

fiunt  trasennae,  ubi  decipiuntur  dolis. 

atque  edepol  in  eas  plerumque  esca  imponitur : 

quam  si  quis  avidus  poscit  escam  avariter, 

decipitur  in  trasenna  avaritia  sua. 

ille  qui  consulte,  docte  atque  astute  cavet,  1240 

diutine  uti  bene  licet  partum  bene. 

mihi  istaec  videtur  praeda  praedatum  irier, 

ut  cum  maiore  dote  abeat  quam  advenerit. 

egone  ut  quod  ad  me  allatum  esse  alienum  sciam, 

celem  ?  minime  istuc  faciet  noster  Daemones. 

semper  cavere  hoc  sapientis  aequissimumst, 

412 


J 


RUDENS 

Track,  (more  loudly)  Right !  I'll  be  here  soon.  Meantime 
attend  to  other  necessary  things  yourself. 

[exit. 

Daem.  {yelling  after  him)  Right!  {to  himself)  And  pray 
Hercules  make  the  fellow  all  wrong  with  his  all 
Right !  The  way  he  filled  my  ears,  whatever  I 
said,  with  "  Right  " ! 

Scene  7.        enter  Gripus  from  the  house,  furtively. 

Gr.         How  soon  will  a  word  with  you  be  all  right,  sir? 

Daem.  {nith  a  start  at  the  "  right  ")  What's  the  matter, 
Gripus  ? 

Gr.  {sidling  up  to  him)  About  that  trunk,  sir — if  you'd 

show  sense,  you'd  show  sense ;  you'd  keep  the 
good  things  God  gives  you. 

Daem.  So  you  think  it  fair  for  me  to  claim  another 
person's  property,  eh? 

Gr.         Something  I  found  in  the  sea  ? 

Daem.  So  much  the  luckier  for  the  man  that  lost  it. 
That  doesn't  make  the  trunk  yours  any  the  more. 

Gr.  {morosely)  There  !  That's  why  you're  poor — you're 
too  blessed  pious. 

Daem.  {meditatively)  Ah,  Gripus,  Gripus,  this  life  of  ours 
is  full  of  traps  that  cheat  and  catch  mankind.  Ay, 
and  very  often  they  are  baited  too.  Then  if  some 
grasping  soul  snaps  greedily  at  this  bait,  he's 
caught,  trapped  by  his  own  greed.  But  the  man 
that's  careful  to  act  with  forethought,  prudence 
and  discernment  can  long  take  honest  pleasure  in 
his  honest  gains.  Loot  such  as  that,  methinks,  is 
on  the  road  to  being  looted,  and  to  leaving  with  a 
larger  dowTj'  than  it  brought,  {very  self-righteous) 
I  to  receive  property  I  know  to  be  another's,  and 
conceal  it  ?  Not  I !  None  of  that  for  friend 
Daemones !     It  highly  befits  wise  masters  to  take 

413 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

ne  conscii  sint  ipsi  malefici  suis. 

ego  mihi  conlusim  ^  nil  moror  ullum  lucrum. 
Gr.         Spectavi  ego  pridem  comicos  ad  istune  modum 

sapienter  dicta  dicer e  atque  eis  plaudier,  1250 

cum  illos  sapientis  mores  monstrabant  poplo : 

sed  cum  inde  suam  quisque  ibant  divorsi  domum, 

nullus  erat  illo  pacto  ut  illi  iusserant. 
Daem.    Abi  intro,  ne  molestu's,  linguae  tempera. 

ego  tibi  daturus  nil  sum,  ne  tu  frustra  sis. 
Gr.         At  ego  deos  quaeso,  ut  quidquid  in  illo  vidulost, 

si  aurum  si  argentum  est,  omne  id  ut  fiat  cinis. 
Daem.    Illuc  est  quod  nos  nequam  servis  utimur. 

nam  illic  cum  ^  servo  si  quo  congressus  foret, 

et  ipsum  sese  et  ilium  furti  adstringeret ;  1260 

dum  praedam  habere  se  censeret,  interim 

praeda  ipsus  esset,  praeda  praedam  duceret. 

nunc  hinc  intro  ibo  et  sacrificabo,  postibi 

iubebo  nobis  cenam  continuo  coqui. 
IV.  8. 

Pies.       Iterum  mihi  istaec  omnia  itera,  mi  anime,  mi  Tra- 
chalio, 

mi  liberte,  mi  patrone  potius,  immo  mi  pater. 

repperit  patrem  Palaestra  suom  atque  matrem  ? 
Track.  Repperit. 

Pies.       Et  popularis  est  ? 
Track.  Opino. 

Pies.  Et  mihi  nuptura  est? 

Track.  Suspicor. 

^  conlusim  Exon  :   mihi  cum  lust  MSS. 
*  Corrupt  (Leo) :  conservo  Lindsay. 
414 


RUDENS 

constant  care  never  to  be  partners  in  crime  with 
their  owti  slaves.  Q)llusional  lucre  has  no  attrac- 
tions for  me. 

ir.  (quite  unchastened)  I've  seen  actors  in  comedies 
talk  in  that  wise  way  before  now,  and  get  clapped 
after  preaching  those  rules  of  wisdom  to  the  people. 
But  when  folks  left  and  they  each  went  away 
home,  not  a  one  of  'em  acted  as  those  actors  told 
'em. 

^aem.  Be  off  inside  and  don't  annoy  me !  Control  your 
tongue !  I  shall  give  you  nothing,  make  no 
mistake  about  that. 

JT.  {grumbling  as  he  goes)  Well,  I  hope  to  heaven  that 
whatever's  in  that  trunk,  gold  or  silver,  all  turns 
to  dust  and  ashes ! 

[exit. 

^aem.  There  you  are!  That's  how  it  is  we  have  such 
rascally  slaves.  Why,  if  he  had  fallen  in  \^ith 
some  other  slave,  he'd  have  involved  the  both  of 
them  in  theft.  Thinking  he  had  loot,  he'd  be  the 
loot  himself,  and  loot  would  have  led  loot  captive. 
Well,  now  I'll  go  in  and  offer  sacrifice,  and  then 
order  our  dinner  to  be  cooked  at  once. 

[exit. 

»cene  8.      enter  Plesidippus,  his  arm  around  Trachalio. 

°les.  (in  transports)  Again  now !  Tell  me  all  that  again 
now,  my  darling,  my  Trachalio,  my  freedman,  I 
mean  my  patron,  no.  no,  my  very  father !  Palaestra 
has  found  her  father  and  mother,  found  them  ? 

Track,    (bored)  Found  them. 

Pies.       And  she's  my  compatriot? 

Track.    I  believe  so. 

Pies.       And  she's  to  marry  me? 

Track.    I  suspect  as  much. 

415 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Pies.       Censen  hodie  despondebit  earn  mihi,  quaeso? 

Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.       Quid  ?  patri  etiam  gratulabor  cum  illam  invenit  ? 

Track.  Censeo.     1270 

Pies.       Quid  matri  eius  ? 

Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.  Quid  ergo  censes  ? 

Track.  Quod  rogas. 

censeo. 
Pies.  Die  ergo  quanti  censes  ? 

Track.  Egone  ?  censeo. 

Pies.       Adsum  equidem,  ne  censionem  semper  facias. 
Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.       Quid  si  curram  } 
Track.  Censeo. 

Pks.  An  sic  potius  placide  ? 

Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.       Etiamne  earn  adveniens  salutem  ? 
Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.  Etiam  patrem  ? 

Track.    Censeo. 

Pies.  Post  eius  matrem  ? 

Track.  Censeo. 

Pies.  Quid  postea? 

etiamne  adveniens  complectar  eius  patrem  ? 
Track.  Non  censeo. 

Pies.       Quid  matrem  ? 
Track.  Non  censeo. 

Pies.  Quid  eampse  illam  ? 

Track.  Non  censeo. 

Pies.       Perii,   dilectum   dimisit.     mmc  non  censet,   cmn 
volo. 

^  The  following  play  on  Censeo,  with  its  political  allnsions, 
can  hardly  be  reproduced.   The  translator  s  best  is  very  bad. 

416 


RUDENS 

And  you  gather*  that  he'll   promise   her  to   me 

to-day  ?     Tell  me  ! 

So  I  gather. 

And  look  here !     Shall  I  congratulate  her  father 

on  finding  her? 

So  I  gather. 

And  her  mother,  eh  ? 

So  I  gather. 

(silly  with  joy)  Well,  what  do  you  gather? 

What  you  ask,  I  gather. 

Well,  how  much  do  you  gather  ? 

I  ?     Oh,  I  gather. 

I'm  here,  man,  here !      Must  you  always  gather 

me? 

So  I  gather. 

{glancing  at  Daemones'  house)  Should  I  nm  ? 

So  I  gather. 

Or  step  along  sedately  hke  this,  rather  ? 

So  I  gather. 

Should  I  greet  her,  too,  when  I  arrive  ? 

So  I  gather. 

And  her  father,  too  ? 

So  I  gather. 

Then  her  mother  ? 

So  I  gather. 

What  next  ?     Should  I  hug  her  father  too,  when  I 

arrive  ? 

I  gather  not. 

How  about  her  mother  ? 

I  gather  not. 

How  about  my  girl  herself? 

I  gather  not. 

Oh,    damn!     He    has    adjourned    the    assembly! 

Now  I  want  him  to  gather,  he  gathers  not ! 


417 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Track.    Sanus  non  es,     sequere. 

Pies.  Due  me,  mi  patrone,  quo  libet.  1280 

ACTVS   V 

Lahr.      Quis  me  est  mortalis  miserior  qui  vivat  alter  hodie, 
quem    ad    recuperatores    modo    damnavit    Plesi- 

dippus  ? 
abiudicata   a   me   modo    est   Palaestra,     perditus 

sum. 
nam  lenones  ex  Gaudio  credo  esse  procreates, 
ita  omnes  mortales,  si  quid  est  mali  lenoni,  gaudent. 
nunc  alteram  illam  quae  mea  est  visam  hue  in 

Veneris  fanum, 
saltern   ut   earn   abducam,   de   bonis   quod   restat 
reliquiarum. 
V.  2. 

Gr.         Numquam    edepol    hodie    ad    vesperum    Gripum 
inspicietis  vivom, 
nisi  vidulus  miihi  redditur. 
Lahr.  Perii,  cum  mentionem 

fieri  audio  usquam  viduli :    est  ^  quasi  palo  pectus 
tundat.  1290 

Gr.         Istie  seelestus  liber  est :   ego  qui  in  mari  prehendi 
reti  atque  excepi  vidulum,  ei  dare  negatis  quic- 
quam. 
Lahr.      Pro  di  immortales,  suo  mihi  hie  sermone  arrexit 

aures. 
Gr.         Cubitum  hercle  longis  litteris  signabo  iam  usque- 
quaque, 
si  quis  perdiderit  vidulum  cum  auro  atque  argento 

multo, 
ad    Gripum    ut    veniat.     non    feretis    istum,    ut 
postulatis. 

^  est  Lindsay  :   Leo  notes  lacuna. 
418 


RUDENS 

Track.    You're  crazy.     Come  along. 

[exit  into  Daemones'  house. 
Pies.      (Jollotving)  Lead   me   where    thou   likest,   patron 
mine! 

[exit. 

ACT  V 

ENTER  Labrax,  in  poor  spirits. 
Labr.  Who's  a  more  unlucky  wretch  than  me  in  all  this 
world,  with  Plesidippus  getting  the  judges  to 
decide  against  me  now?  Now  I'm  sentenced  to 
lose  Palaestra!  I'm  ruined!  Why,  I  do  believe 
we  pimps  are  the  sons  of  Joy,  the  way  every 
mortal  soul  considers  our  troubles  so  enjoyable. 
Well,  now  I'll  go  into  the  temple  of  Venus  here 
and  see  to  the  other  one  I  own,  and  at  least  get 
away  with  her,  the  remaining  remnant  of  my 
estate. 

Scene  2.    enter  Gripus  gloomily  polishing  a  rusty  spit. 

(soliloquizing  bitterly)  No,  sir,  by  Jove !  You  folks 
shan't  set  eyes  this  night  on  a  living  Gripus, 
unless  I'm  given  back  that  trunk. 

Labr.  (aside)  Oh  dear!  Anywhere  I  hear  that  word 
"  trunk,"  it's  like  pounding  my  chest  with  a  pole. 

Gr.  There  that  villain's  free — and  me,  the  man  that 
caught  the  trunk  in  the  sea  with  my  net  and 
pulled  it  up,  not  one  thing  will  you  give  to  him ! 

Labr.  (aside,  edging  closer)  Ye  immortal  gods !  His  talk 
has  got  my  ears  on  end ! 

Gr.  By  heaven,  I'll  post  notices  ever}'Avhere  now,  in 
letters  a  foot  and  a  half  high,  that  if  anyone  has 
lost  a  trunk  full  of  gold  and  silver,  he's  to  apply 
to  Gripus.  You  folks  shan't  get  it  as  you  count 
on  doing. 

419 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Labr.      Meum  hercle  illic  homo  vidulum  scit  qui  habet, 

ut  ego  opinor. 
adeundus  mihi   illic   est  homo,     di,  quaeso,   sub- 

venite. 
Gr.         Quid  me  intro  revocas  ?    hoc  volo  hie  ante  ostium 

extergere. 
nam  hoc  quidem  pol  e  robigine,  non  est  e  ferro 

factum,  1300 

ita  quanto  magis  extergeo,  rutilum  atque  tenuius 

fit. 
^  nam    quidem   hoc   venenatumst   verum :     ita   in 

manibus  consenescit. 
Lahr.      Adulescens,  salve. 

Gr.  Di  te  ament  cum  inraso  capite. 

Labr.  Quid  fit? 

Gr.         Verum  extergetur. 
Labr.  Vt  vales  ? 

Gr.  Quid  tu  ?   num  medicus,  quaeso,  es  ? 

Labr.      Immo  edepol  una  littera  plus  sum  quam  medicus. 
Gr.  Tum  tu 

mendicus  es  ? 
Labr.  Tetigisti  acu. 

Gr.  Videtur  digna  forma. 

sed  quid  tibi  est  ? 
Labr.  Hac  proxima  nocte  in  mari  elavi, 

confracta  est  navis,  perdidi  quidquid  erat  miser  ibi 

omne. 
Gr.         Quid  perdidisti  ? 

Labr.  Vidulum  cum  auro  atque  argento  multo. 

Gr.  Ecquid   meministi,   in   vidulo    qui   periit   quid   ibi 

infuerit  ?  1310 

Labr.      Quid   refert,   qui   periit   tamen  ?     sine   hoc,   aliud 

fabulemur. 
Gr.         Quid  si  ego  sciam  qui  invenerit  ?    volo  ex  te  scire 

signa. 

420 


RUDENS 

(aside)  By   gad,   that   chap   knows   who   has   my 

trunk,  I  do  beheve !     I  must  approach  him !  {walks 

up)  Now  Heaven  be  with  me ! 

(thinking  he  hears  a  summons  from  the  house)  What 

are  you  calling  me  in  for  ?  {polishing  vigorously)  I 

want  to  clean  this  up  out  in  front  here.     Good 

Lord !     WTiy,  this  thing's  made  of  rust  instead  of 

iron !     The  more  I  rub  it,  the  redder  and  thinner 

it  gets !     Why,  this  cursed  spit's  bewitched :    see 

how  it's  wasting  away  in  my  hands ! 

{genially)  Good-day,  young  man. 

{polishing,  savagely)  God  bless  you,  in  your  need 

of  a  haircut. 

How  goes  it? 

Spit's  a-polishing. 

How  are  you  feeling? 

See   here,   you!     Tell  me   this,   are   you   in   the 

medical  line  ? 

Lord,  no !     I'm  two  letters  more  than  medical. 

Oh,  mendicant,  then? 

You've  hit  it. 

You  look  it.     But  what's  wrong  with  you? 

{casually)  The    sea    cleaned    me    out    last    night. 

Ship  was  wrecked,  lost  every  thing  I  had  in  it, 

worse  luck ! 

{interested)  What  did  you  lose  ? 

A  trunk  full  of  gold  and  silver. 

{excited)  D'ye  remember  what  was  in  it,  in  the 

trunk  that's  gone  ? 

Oh,  what's  the  odds,  seeing  it's  gone  ?     Enough 

of  that.     Let's  talk  of  something  else. 

What  if  I  know  who  found  it?     I  want  you  to 

prove  your  property. 

*  Corrupt  (Leo) :  nam  hoc  quidem  Bothe. 

431 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Labr.      Nummi  octingenti  aurei  in  marsuppio  infuerunt, 

praeterea   centum    minaria    Philippa   in    pasceolo 

sorsus. 
Gr.         Magna   hercle    praedast,    largiter   mercedis   indi- 

piscar ; 
di  homines  respiciunt :    bene  ego  hinc  praedatus 

ibo. 
profecto  huius  est  vidulus.     perge  alia  tu  expedire. 
Labr.      Talentum  argenti  commodum  magnum  inerat  in 

crumina, 
praeterea     sinus,     cantharus,     epichysis,     gaulus, 

cyathus. 
Gr.         Papae,  divitias  tu  quidem  habuisti  luculentas.  1320 

Labr.      Miserum  istuc  verbum  et  pessimum  est,  habuisse, 

et  nihil  habere. 
Gr.         Quid  dare  velis,  qui  istaec  tibi  investiget  indicet- 

que? 
eloquere  propere  celeriter. 
Labr.  Nummos  trecentos. 

Gr.  Tricas. 

Labr.      Quadringentos. 
Gr.  Tramas  putidas. 

Labr.  Quingentos. 

Gr.  Cassam  glandem. 

Labr.      Sescentos. 

Gr.  Curculiunculos  minutos  fabulare. 

Labr.      Dabo  septingentos. 

Gr.  Os  calet  tibi,  nunc  id  frigefactas. 

Labr.      Mille  dabo  nummum. 
Gr.  Somnias. 

Labr.  Nihil  addo. 

Gr.  Abi  igitur. 

Labr.  Audi : 

si  hercle  abiero  hinc,  hie  non  ero.     vin  centum  et 

mille? 

422 


RUDENS 

Well,  there  were  eight  hundred  pounds  in  it,  in  a 

wallet,  besides  a  hundred  sovereigns  in  a  leather 

bag,  all  by  itself. 

(aside)  My  Lord,  what  loot!     What  a  reward  I'll 

get!     The  gods  are  good  to  men — I'll  loot  him 

handsomely  before  we  part.     The  trunk's  certainly 

his.  (aloud)  Go  on  with  the  rest  of  the  contents. 

There  were  two  hundred  pounds  in  silver — good 

honest  coin — in  a  purse,  and  a  bowl,  too,  and  a 

tankard  and  a  pitcher  and  a  jug  and  a  ladle. 

Whew !     You  surely  had  a  grand  big  pile  ! 

That's  a  dismal  word,  the  very  worst  of  words, 

"  had,"  when  what  you  have  is  nothing. 

(looking    about   suspiciously)  WTiat    would    you    be 

willing  to  give  a  man  for  finding  it  all  and  informing 

you  ?     Speak  up,  quick  now,  hurry  I 

(enthusiastically)  Thirty  pounds. 

(snorting)  Rubbish! 

Forty. 

Rotten  cobwebs ! 

Fifty. 

Nutshells ! 

Sixty. 

Mites  and  maggots ! 

I'll  give  seventy. 

That's  cool  of  a  man  that's  full  of  hot  air! 

Well,  I'll  make  it  a  hundred  pounds. 

You're  dreaming! 

(firmly)  That's  my  limit. 

(polishing  again)  Then  leave. 

Listen:    once  I  do  leave  here,  by  gad,  I  won't — 

be  here !  (Gripus  continues  polishing)  How  about  a 

hundred  and  ten? 


433 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Gr.  Dormis. 

Labr.      Eloquere  quantum  postules. 

Gr.  Quo  nihil  invitus  addas : 

talentum   magnum.      non   potest   triobolum   hinc 
abesse. 

proin  tu  vel  aias  vel  neges. 
Labr.  Quid  istic  ?  necessum  est,  video : 

dabitur  talentum. 
Gr.  Accede  dum  hue :  Venus  haec  volo  adroget  te. 

Labr.      Quod  tibi  libet  id  mi  impera. 

Gr.  Tange  aram  hanc  Veneris. 

L(U>r.  Tango. 

Gr.         Per  Venerem  hanc  iurandum  est  tibi. 
Labr.  Quid  iurem  ? 

Gr.  Quod  iubebo. 

Labr.      Praei  verbis  quidvis.     id  quod  domi  est,  numquam 

ulli  supplicabo. 
Gr.  Tene  aram  hanc. 
Labr.  Teneo. 

Gr.  Deiera  te  mi  argentum  daturum 

eodem  die,  tui  viduli  ubi  sis  potitus. 
Labr.  Fiat. 

Gr,         Venus  Cyrenensis,  testem  te  tester  mihi, 

si  vidulum  ilium,  quern  ego  in  navi  perdidi, 

cum  auro  atque  argento  salvom  investigavero 

isque  in  potestatem  meam  pervenerit, 

turn  ego  huic  Gripo,  inquito,  et  me  tangito — 
Labr.      Tum  ego  huic  Gripo — dico,  Venus,  ut  tu  audias — 

talentum  argenti  magnum  continue  dabo. 
Gr.         Si  quid  fraudassis,  die  ut  te  in  quaestu  tuo 

Venus  eradicet,  caput  atque  aetatem  tuam. 

tecum  hoc  habeto  tamen,  ubi  iuraveris. 

424 


RUDENS 

Fast  asleep ! 

{disgustedly)  Come,  state  your  price. 

Two  hundred  pounds.     You  needn't  add  a  bit  to 

that  unless  you  like.     And  you  can't  subtract  a 

sixpence.     So  just  say  yes  or  no. 

Oh,  very  well!     Needs  must,  I  see.     I'll  give  two 

hundred. 

(drarving  him  to  the  altar)  Step  this  way,  then.     I 

want  Venus  here  to  take  you  in  charge. 

Anything  you  please,  command  me. 

Put  your  hand  on  this  altar  of  Venus. 

(doing  so)  All  right. 

Now  you  must  swear  by  Venus  here. 

Swear  what  ? 

^\^lat  I  say. 

Dictate    anything    you    like,    (aside)    Swearing's 

easy :   I'll  never  beg  for  any  help  at  that. 

(as  Labrax  casually  uses  his  altar  hand  to  scratch 

himself)  Keep  hold  of  this  altar. 

(obeying)  I  am. 

(solemnly)  Now  swear  you  will  give  me  the  money 

the  same  day  you  get  possession  of  your  trunk. 

(lightly)  So  be  it ! 

(unsatisjied,  dictating)  "  Venus  of  Cyrene,  be  my 

witness  that  if  that  trunk  I  lost  at  sea  is  found 

safe  with  its  gold  and  silver,  and  is  put  in  my 

possession,  then  I  will  give  to  this  man  Gripus  " — 

say  that,  and  touch  me 

(slyly  minatory  in  tone  and  touch)  Then  I  will  give 
to  this  man  Gripus — I  speak  so  that  you  may  hear 
me,  Venus — two  hundred  pounds  forthwith. 
And  say  that  if  you  try  any  tricks,  you  hope 
Venus  will  send  you  to  smash,  body  and  soul  and 
business,  (aside)  And  may  the  curse  hold,  anyhow, 
once  you've  sworul 

4*5 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Labr.      lUaec  advorsum  si  quid  peccasso,  Venus, 

veneror  te  ut  omnes  miseri  lenones  sient. 
Gr.         Tamen  fiet,  etsi  tu  fidem  servaveris.  1350 

tu  hie  opperire,  iam  ego  faxo  exibit  senex ; 

eum  tu  continue  vidulum  reposcito. 
Labr.      Si  maxime  mi  ilium  reddiderit  vidulum, 

non  ego  illi  hodie  debeo  triobolum. 

meus  arbitratust,  lingua  quod  iuret  mea. 

sed  conticiscam :  cecum  exit  et  ducit  senejn. 

V.  3. 

Gr.         Sequere  hac. 
Daem.  Vbi  istic  lenost  ? 

Gr.  Heus  tu.     em  tibi,  hie  habet  vidulum. 

Daem.    Habeo  et  fateor  esse  apud  me,  et,  si  tuos  est,  habeas 
tibi. 
omnia,  ut  quidquid  infuit,  ita  salva  sistentur  tibi. 
tene,  si  tuost. 
Labr.  O  di  immortales,  meus  est.     salve,  vidule.  1360 

Daem.    Tucsne  est  ? 
Labr.  Rogitas  ?    si  quidem  herele  lovis  fuit, 

meus  est  tamen. 
Daem.    Omnia  insunt  salva ;    una  istine  eistella  excepta 
est  modo 
cum    crepundiis,    quibuscum   hodie    filiam    inveni 
meam. 
Labr.      Quam  ? 
426 


RUDENS 

Lahr.  {more  or  less  dutifully)  If  I  do  anything  to  violate 
that,  \^enus,  I  pray  you  that  all  pimps  may  come 
to  grief. 

Gr.  (aside)  They  will,  anyhow,  even  if  you  keep  your 
word,  (aloud)  You  wait  here :  I'll  have  the  old 
man  out  at  once.  Then  you  go  ahead  and  demand 
back  the  trunk  from  him. 

[exit  Gripus  INTO  house. 

Lahr.  (gloTvering  after  him)  Huh !  No  matter  if  he  does 
get  me  back  that  trunk,  I  don't  owe  him  a  single 
sixpence.  My  tongue  may  swear,  but  I  act  as  I 
please,  (as  Daemones'  door  opens)  Hush,  though ! 
Here  he  comes  with  the  old  man  in  tow. 

Scene  3.  enter  Gripus,  and  Daemones. 

Gr.         This  way,  sir.  (approaches  Lahrax) 

Daem.    WTiere  is  that  pimp  ? 

Gr.         (to  Labrax)  Hey,  you  !     There's  your  man,  (pointing 

to  Daemones)  he  has  the  trunk. 
Daem.    I  have,  and  admit  I  have  it,  and  if  it  is  yours,  you 

shall  have  it.  (nods  to  Gripus  to  get  it) 

[exit  Gripus. 

It  shall  be  put  in  your  hands  intact,  just  as  it  was, 

with  everything  in  it. 

re-enter  Gripus  tugging  the  trunk. 
Take  it,  if  it's  yours,  (pointing) 

Labr.  (jubilant)  O  ye  immortal  gods,  it  is  mine !  Ah 
there,  trunk! 

Daem.    Is  it  yours  ? 

Lahr.  (grabbing  it)  Do  you  ask  that  ?  Lord,  man,  no 
matter  if  it  even  belonged  to  Jove,  it's  mine. 

Daem.  Everything  inside  is  intact — except  for  our  re- 
moving a  little  casket  of  toys  which  enabled  me 
to  find  my  daughter  to-day. 

Lahr.      Daughter  ?     ^IVTio  ? 

427 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Daem.        Tua  quae  fuit  Palaestra,  ea  filia  inventast  mea. 
Labr.      Bene  mehercle  factum  est.     cum  istaec  res  tibi  ex 
sententia 

pulchre  evenit,  gaudeo. 
Daem.  Istuc  facile  non  credo  tibi. 

Labr.      Immo  hercle,  ut  scias  gaudere  me,  mihi  triobolum 

ob  eam  ne  duis,  condono  te. 
Daem.  Benigne  edepol  facis. 

Labr.      Immo  tu  quidem  hercle  vero. 
Gr.  Heus  tu,  iam  habes  vidulum. 

Labr.      Habeo. 
Gr.  Propera. 

Labr.  Quid  properabo  ? 

Gr.  Reddere  argentum  mihi.   1370 

Labr.      Neque  edepol  tibi  do,  neque  quicquam  debeo. 
Gr.  Quae  haec  factio  est  ? 

non  debes  ? 
Labr.  Non  hercle  vero. 

Gr.  Non  tu  iuratus  mihi  es  ? 

Labr.      Iuratus  sum,  et  nunc  iurabo,  si  quid  voluptati  est 
mihi : 

ius  iurandum  rei  servandae,  non  perdendae  con- 
ditum  est. 
Gr.         Cedo  sis  mihi  talentum  magnum  argenti,  periuris- 

sime. 
Daem.    Gripe,  quod  tu  istum  talentum  poscis  ? 
Gr.  luratust  mihi 

dare. 
Labr.  Libet  iurare.     tun  meo  pontifex  peiurio  es  ? 

Daem.    Qua  pro  re  argentum  promisit  hie  tibi  ? 
Gr.  Si  vidulum 

hunc  redegissem  in  potestatem  eius,  iuratust  dare 

mihi  talentum  magnum  argenti. 


428 


RUDENS 

That  Palaestra  you  used  to  have  proves  to  be  my 

daughter. 

{rvith  seeming  heartiness)  Good  business,  by  Jove ! 

So  everything  has  turned  out  finely  just  to  suit 

you!     I'm  glad! 

\dryly)  Yes,  it's  easy  for  me  to  believe  you  are  not. 

No,  by  Jove,  I  am,  and  to  show  I'm  glad  I'll  let 

you  off  from  paying  me  a  single  sixpence  for  her. 

\as  before)  My  word !     Kind  of  you ! 

No,  by  Jove,  of  you,  it  really  is ! 

(to  Labrax,  suggestively,  as  Daemones  turns  to  go)  I 

say,  you,  now  you  have  the  trunk. 
Labr.     (frigidly)  I  have. 
Gr.         Hurry  up. 
Labr.      Hurry  up  what? 
Gr.         And  pay  me  my  money. 
Labr.      Lord,  man !     I'll  neither  pay  you  any  nor  owe  you 

any. 
Gr.         (indignant)  What's  all  this?     You  don't  owe  me 


any 


Labr.      Jove !     I  should  say  I  didn't ! 

Gr.         Didn't  you  swear  to  me  ? 

Labr.      Swear,  yes,  and  I'll  swear  now,  if  it  gives  me  any 

pleasure.     Swearing  was  invented  to  save  property, 

not  wreck  it. 
Gr.         (viciously)  You  kindly  hand  over  that  two  hundred 

pounds,  you  perjured  villain! 
Daem.    Gripus,  what's  that  two  hundred  pounds  you're 

claiming  of  him  ? 
Gr.         He  swore  he'd  give  it  to  me ! 
Labr.      Hobby  of  mine,  swearing.     Are  you  high-priest 

over  my  perjury  ? 
Daem.    WTiy  did  he  promise  you  the  money  ? 
Gr.         If  I  got  this  trunk  back  in  his  hands,  he  swore  he'd 

give  me  two  himdred  pounds. 

4^9 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Labr.  Cedo  quicum  habcam  iudicem,  1380 

ni  dolo  malo  instipulatus  sis  nive  etiamdum  haud 

siem 
quinque  et  viginti  annos  natus. 
Gr.  Habe  cum  hoc. 

Labr.  '  Aliost  opus. 

Daem.    lam  ab  isto  auferre  haud  potis  sim,  si  istunc  con- 
demnavero. 
promisistin  huic  argentum  ? 
Labr.  Fateor. 

Daem.  Quod  servo  meo 

promisisti,  meum  esse  oportet,  ne  tu,  leno,  postules 
te  hie  fide  lenonia  uti :  non  potes. 
Gr.  lam  te  ratu's 

nactum  hominem  quem  defraudares  ?   dandum  hue 

argentum  est  probum : 
id  ego  continue  huic  dabo  adeo,  me  ut  hie  emittat 
manu. 
Daem.    Quando  ergo  erga  te  benignus  ego  fui  atque  opera 
mea 
haec  tibi  sunt  servata— 
Gr.  Immo  hercle  mea,  ne  tu  dicas  tua.   1390 

Daem.    Si  sapies,   tacebis — turn  te   mihi   benigne   itidem 
addecet 
bene  merenti  bene  referre  gratiam. 
Labr.  Nempe  pro  meo 

iure  oras  ? 
Daem.  Mirum  quin  tuom  ius  meo  periclo  aps  te 

expetam. 
Gr.         Salvos  sum,  leno  labascit,  libertas  portenditur. 


1  As  a  patronus,  Gripus  being  a  slave. 

2  See  Pseudolus,  303, 


430 


RUDENS 

ibr.  Name  your  man  ^  and  we'll  go  to  an  arbitrator  and 
see  if  you  didn't  make  a  fraudulent  compact,  or 
if  I'm  not  still  (tvitk  an  evil  grin)  under  the  age  of 
twenty-five.* 

Go  to  this  gentleman,  (pointing  to  Daemones) 
I  want  someone  else. 

(aside,  dubitative)  Now  I  couldn't  get  it  away  from 
him,  (indicating  Gripus)  if  I  decided  against  (eyeing 
Labrax)  him.   (to  Labrax,  sternly,  after  thinking  a 
moment)  Did  you  promise  him  the  money  ? 
I  admit  it. 

What  you  promised  my  slave  should  be  mine, 
pimp,  and  you  needn't  expect  to  use  any  of  your 
pimp-craft  on  me  :  you  can't  do  it. 
(to  Labrax,  gleefully)  So  you  thought  you  had 
lighted  on  a  man  you  could  cheat,  eh  ?  You've 
got  to  give  me  good  honest  money — and  then  I'll 
give  it  straight  to  master  here,  yes,  so  that  he'll 
set  me  free. 

(changing  his  tone)  Now  then,  seeing  I've  done  the 
decent  thing  by  you  and  all  this  has  been  saved 

for  you  through  my  assistance 

(hotly)  No,  sir,  by  gad !     Mine !     Don't  you  say 

"  yours  " ! 

(to    Gripus,   sharply)  Show   sense   and   keep   your 

mouth  shut !   (to  Labrax)  Then  you  ought  to  do 

the   decent   thing   by   me    also,    and   return   the 

favour  of  a  man  who  has  favoured  you. 

(cautiously)  In  asking  this  you  recognize  my  rights, 

I  take  it  ? 

It  is  remarkable  that  I  don't  risk  trying  to  take 

your  rights  away  from  you. 

(aside,  as  Labrax  looks  doubtful)  Saved !     The  pimp 

falters !     Freedom  for  me ! 


431 


TITUS  MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Daem.    Vidulum  istunc  ille  invenit,  illud  mancipium  nicum 
est; 

ego  tibi  hunc  porro  servavi  cum  magna  pecunia. 
Labr.      Gratiam  habeo,  et  de  talento  nulla  causa  est  quia 
feras, 

quod  isti  sum  iuratus. 
Gr.  Heus  tu,  mihi  dato  ergo,  si  sapis. 

Daem.    Tacen  an  non  ? 
Gr.  Tu  meam  rem  simulas  agere,  tibi  munis  viam.^ 

non  hercle  istoc  me  intervortes,  si  aliam  praedam 
perdidi.  1400 

Daem.    Vapulabis,  verbum  si  addis  istuc  unum. 
Gr.  Vel  hercle  enica, 

non  tacebo  umquam  alio  pacto,  nisi  talento  com- 
primor. 
Labr.      Tibi  operam  hie  quidem  dat.     tace. 
Daem.  Concede  hoc  tu,  leno. 

Labr.  Licet. 

Gr.         Palam  age,  nolo  ego  murmurillum  neque  susurrum 

fieri. 
Daem.    Die  mihi,  quanti  illam  emisti  tuam  alteram  mulier- 
culam, 

Ampeliscam  ? 
Labr.  Mille  nummum  denumeravi. 

Daem.  Vin  tibi 

condicionem  luculentam  ferre  me .'' 
Labr.  Sane  volo. 

Daem.    Dividuom  talentum  faciam. 
Labr.  Bene  facis. 

Daem.  Pro  ilia  altera, 

libera  ut  sit,dimidium  tibi  sume,dimidium  hue  cedo. 
Labr.      Maxime. 
Daem.  Pro  illo  dimidio  ego  Gripum  emittam  manu,  1410 

quem  propter  tu  vidulum  et  ego  gnatam  inveni. 

'  mu{nis  viam)  Koch  :   Leo  notes  lacuna. 


RUDENS 

This  fellow  found  that  trunk,  and  he's  my  slave. 

And  then  I  saved  it  for  you,  with  all  the  money 

in  it. 

(succumbing)  I'm  much  obliged,  and  as  for  the  two 

hundred  pounds  I  swore  to  give  that  chap,  there's 

no  reason  you  shouldn't  have  it. 

Hey,  you !     Give  it  to  me,  then,  if  you  know 

what's  what. 

Will  you  be  silent,  or  not  ? 

You  pretend  to  see  to  my  interests,  and  improve 

your  own !     By  gad,  you  shan't  swindle  me  out  of 

that,  even  if  I  did  lose  the  other  loot. 

You'll  be  thrashed  if  you  add  another  word ! 

Murder  me  if  you  like,  by  gad,  but  the  only  way 

you  can  ever  silence  me  is  to  plug  me  up  with 

two  hundred  pounds ! 

{maliciously)  \VTiy,  your  master's  looking  to  your 

welfare.     Silence ! 

{rvithdrarving)  Step  over  here,  pimp. 

{doing  so)  Very  well. 

(calling)    Do   things   openly;     I    don't   want   any 

murmurlings  or  whisperings. 

(to  Labrax,  in  an  undertone)  Tell  me,  how  much  did 

you  pay  for  that  other  girl  of  yours,  Ampelisca  ? 

One  hundred  pounds. 

Do  you  want  me  to  make  you  a  handsome  offer  ? 

I  certainly  do. 

I'll  split  the  two  hundred  pounds. 

That's  good  of  you. 

You  take  half  for  setting  that  other  girl  free,  and 

give  me  half. 

Very  well. 

(in  a  still  hirer  tone)  For  that  half  I'll  free  Gripus, 

it  being  through  him  you  found  your  trunk  and  I 

my  daughter. 

433 


Lahr. 

Gr. 

Daem. 

)Br. 

Daem. 


Gr. 


Daem. 

Labr. 

Daem. 


Labr. 
Daem. 


TITUS   MACCIUS  PLAUTUS 

Bene  faeis, 
gratiam  habeo  magnam. 

Quam  mox  mi  argentum  ergo  redditur? 
Res  soluta  est,  Gripe,    ego  habeo. 

At  ego  me  hercle  mavolo. 
Nihil  hercle  hie  tibi  est,  ne  tu  speres.     iuris  iurandi 

volo 
gratiam  facias. 

Perii  herdle.     nisi  me  suspendo,  occidi. 
numquam  hercle  iterum  defraudabis  me  quidem 

post  hunc  diem. 
Hie  hodie  cenato,  leno. 

Fiat,  condicio  placet. 
Sequimini     intro.     spectatores,     vos     quoque     ad 

cenam  vocem, 
ni   daturus   nil   sim   neque   sit   quicquam  pollucti 

domi, 
nive  adeo  vocatos  credam  vos  esse  ad  cenam  foras. 
verum  si  voletis  plausum  fabulae  huic  clarum  dare, 
comissatum    omnes    venitote    ad    me    ad    annos 

sedecim. 
vos  hie  hodie  cenatote  ambo. 

Fiat. 

Plausum  date. 


434 


RUDENS 

That's  good  of  you,  and  I'm  much  obliged,  {they 
rejoin  Gripus) 

Well  now,  how  soon  do  I  get  my  money  ? 
It's  all  settled,  Gripus.     I  have  it. 
Oh  Lord,  but  I  prefer  having  it  myself. 
(mockingly)  Oh  Lord,  there's  nothing  in  it  for  you, 
so  have  no  hopes.     I  want  you  to  let  him  off  his 
oath. 

(rvild)  Oh  Lord,  I'm  done  for!     It's  all  over  with 
me,  unless  I  hang  myself!     Oh  Lord!     After  this 
day  you'll  never  again  cheat  me,  not  me ! 
Dine  with  me  to-day,  pimp. 
Good.     I  accept  with  pleasure. 
Come   on  in   the  house,   {turning  to  the  audience') 
Spectators,  I  should  invite  you  to  dinner  too  if  it 
were  not  for  the  fact  that  I  am  giving  none,  and 
have  nothing  at  home  worth  serving,  and  further- 
more assume  that  you  already  have  dinner  in\-ita- 
tions.      But   if  you  are  willing  to  give  this  play 
your  loud  applause,  all  come  and  make  a  night  of 
it  with  me — sixteen  years  from  now.  {to  Labrax 
and  Gripus)  You  two  dine  with  me  to-day. 
(rvhile  Gripus  still  meditates  death)  Good. 
{to  audience)  Give  us  your  applause. 

[exeunt  omnes. 


435 


INDEX   OF   PROPER  NAMES 


The  index  is  limited  to  names  of  eharacten  in  the  plays,  and  of  characters, 
persons,  lovns,  countries  and  peoples  mentioned  in  the  plays. 


Adelphasinin,  Poen. 

Advocati,  Poen. 

Aeschinus,  228 

Aeschrodora,  168 

Aetolia,  Aetolian,  62,  106 

Africa,  African,  102,  138 

A^thocles,  204 

Agorastocles,  Poen. 

Agrigentine,  292 

Aleziuidrian,  163 

AmpeliBca,  Kud. 

Ampsignra,  106 

Anactorinm.  10 

Antamonides,  Poen. 

Anterastilis,  Poen. 

Antidamaa,  Antidama,  96,  104,  106 

Antiochns,  68 

ApeUes,  128 

Arctonis,  Rud. 

Aristarcbas,  4 

Athena,  Athenian,  178,  184,  194,  212, 

226,  292,  356,  358,  398,  40iJ 
Attalua,  66 
Attic,  Attica,  38, 168,  194,  356 

Ballio,  PtetuL 

Calidoras,  Pseud. 

Callipho,  Pseud. 

Calydon,  Oalydonian,  8,  10,  116 

Campanian,  162 

Capaa,  346 

Carthage,  Carthaginian,  2,  6,   8,  98, 

100,  104,  106,  110,  112,  142 
OarTBtna,  224,  226 
Ouirinns,  Pseud. 
Charmides,  Rud. 
Chian,  70 
Chrysis,  218 
Cocus,  Pseud. 


CoUybiscus,  Poen. 

Crurifragins,  88 

Cyrene,  Cyrenaic,  292,  344,  354,  424 

Daedalis,  404,  406 
Daemones,  Rud. 
Delphi,  198 
Demarchas,  106 
DiphUos,  293 

Egyptian,  130 
Bnripides,  396 

Qiddenia,  Poen. 
Greece,  Greek,  343,  356 
Gripoa,  Rud. 

Hanno,  Poen, 
Harpax,  Pseud, 
Hedjtiam,  168 

lahon,  106 
Ionian,  378 

Jason,  168 

Labraz,  Rud. 
Lesbian,  70 
Leucadian,  70 
Lorarii,  Rud. 
Lyons,  Poen. 

Macedon,  Macedonian,  154,  186,  312, 

258,  264,  270 
Uagara,  8 
UaKic,  280 
Uilpbio,  Poen. 
Myttliumbalis,  lOQ 

437 


INDEX   OF  PROPER   NAMES 


Palaestra,  Rud. 

Pentetronica,  48 

Phoenicium,  146,  172,  180,  184,  2S3, 

254,  264 
Piscatores,  Rud. 
Plautus,  6 
PleBidippus,  Rud. 
Polymachaeroplagides,  250,  264 
Pseudolus,  Pseud. 
Ptolemocratia,  Rud. 
Puer,  Poen.,  Pseud. 
Pultiphagonides,  6 
Punic,  2,  10,  12,  98,  100, 180 

Boman,  132 

Scepamio,  Rud. 

Sicily,  Sicilian,  90,  292,  320,  330,  334, 

33*8 
Sicyon,  250,  258,  266 
Simla,  Simmia,  Pseud. 


Simo,  Pseud. 
Socrates,  198 
Sparax,  348,  3G4 
Sparta,  Spartan,  66,  72,  76,  78 
Strator.icus,  376 
Subballio,  212 
Syncerastus,  Poen. 
Syrus,    Sums,    146,    214,    216 
270 

Thales,  386 
Thasian,  70 
Thebes,  358 
Trachalio,  Rud. 
Trojan,  274 
Turbalio,  348,  364 

Xystilia,  170 

Zeuxis,  128 


260, 


THE  LOEB  CLASSICAL 
LIBRARY 

VOLUMES  ALREADY  PUBLISHED 

Latin  Authors 

Ammiaxus  Mabceixisus.     Translated  by  J.  C.  Rolfe.     3  Vols. 
Apuleics:    The  Goldes  Ass  (Metamobphosks).     W.  Adling- 

ton(1566).     Revised  by  S.  Gaselee. 
St.  Augcstike  :   City- of  God.     7  Vols.     Vol.  I.  G.  E.  McCrac- 

ken.     Vol.  II.  and  VII.     W.  M.  Green.     Vol.  III.     D.  Wiesen. 

Vol.  IV.     P.  Levine.     Vol.  V.     E.  M.  Sanford  and  W.  M. 

Green.     Vol.  VI.     W.  C.  Greene. 
St.  AuorsTixE,  Confessions  of.     W.  Watta  (1631).     2  Vols. 
St.  Augustese,  Select  Lettebs.     J.  H.  Baxter. 
AusONius.     H.  G.  EveljTi  White.     2  Vols. 
Bede.     J.  E.  King.     2  Vols. 
Boethius:     Tracts    and    De    CoNsOLATiOiTB    Philosophiae. 

Rev.  H.  F.  Stewart  and  E.  K.  Rand.     Re\-i8ed  by  S.  J.  Tester. 
Caeskb:    Alexandrian,  African  and  Sp.4NISH  Wars.     A.  G. 

Way. 
Caeser:   Civil  Wars.     A.  G.  Peskett. 
Caeser:   Gallic  War.     H.  J.  Eklwards. 
Cato:  De  Re  Rustica;  Vabro:  De  Re  Rtjstica.     H.  B.  Asli 

and  W.  D.  Hooper. 
Catullus.     F.  W.  Cornish;   Tibullus.     J.  B.  Postgate;   Per- 
vigilium Veneris.     J.  W.  Mackail. 
Celsus:   De  Medicina.     W.  G.  Spencer.     3  Vols. 
Cicero  :    Brutus,  and  Obatob.     G.  L.  Hendrickson  and  H.  M. 

HubbeU. 
[Cicero]:   Ad  Herennium.     H.  Caplan. 
Cicero  :    De  Oratore,  etc.     2  Vols.     Vol.  I.     De  Orators, 

Books  I.  and  II.     E.  W.  Sutton  and  H.  Rackham.     Vol.  II. 

De   Oratore,   Book  III.     De  Fato;    Paradoxa  Stoiconim: 

De  Partitione  Oratoria.     H.  Rackham. 
Cicero:   De  Finibus.     H.  Rackham. 
Cicero  :   De  Inventione,  etc.     H.  M.  HubbeU. 
Cicero  :   De  Xatura  Deorux  and  Acadkxic.\.     H.  Rackiiam. 
Cicero  :   De  Officiis.     Walter  Miller. 
Cicero  :  De  Republica  and  De  Leoibus:  Somnittm  Scimonis. 

Clinton  W.  Kevt^. 

1 


CiCEBO:     De    Senectute,    De    Amicitia,    De    Divinatione. 

W.  A.  Falconer. 
Cicero  :  In  Catilinam,  Pro  Flacco,  Pro  Mubena,  Pro  Sulla. 

New  version  by  C.  Macdonald. 
Cicero  :   Letters  to  Atticus.     E.  O.  Winstedt.     3  Vols. 
Cicero:     Letters    to    His    Friends.     W.    Glynn    Williams, 

M.  Cary,  M.  Henderson.     4  Vols. 
Cicero  :   Philippics.     W.  C.  A.  Ker. 
Cicero  :    Pro  Archia  Post  Reditum,  De  Domo,  De  Harus- 

picuM  Responsis,  Pro  Plancio.     N.  H.  Watts. 
Cicero  :    Pro  Caecina,  Pro  Lege  Manilia,  Pro  Cluentio, 

Pro  Rabirio.     H.  Grose  Hodge. 
Cicero  :     Pro    Caelio,    De    Provinciis    Consularibus,    Pro 

Balbo.     R.  Gardner. 
Cicero  :   Pro  Milone,  In  Pisonem,  Pro  Scauro,  Pro  Fonteio, 

Pro  Rabirio  Postumo,  Pro  Marcello.  Pro  Ligario,  Pro 

Rege  Deiotaro.     N.  H.  Watts. 
Cicero  :    Pro  Quinctio,  Pro  Roscio  Amerino,  Pro  Rosrio 

Comoedo,  Contra  Rullum.     J.  H.  Freese. 
Cicero  :   Pro  Sestio,  In  Vatinium.     R.  Gardner. 
Cicero:  Tusculan  Disputations.     J.  E.  King. 
Cicero  :  Verrine  Orations.     L.  H.  G.  Greenwood.     2  Vols. 
Claudian.     M.  Platnauer.     2  Vols. 
Columella:    De  Re  Rustica.     De  Arboribus.     H.  B.  Ash, 

E.  S.  Forster  and  E.  Heffner.     3  Vols. 
CuRTius,  Q. :   History  of  Alexander.     J.  C.  Rolfe.     2  Vols. 
Florus.     E.  S.  Forster;   and  Cornelius  Nepos.     J.  C.  Rolfe. 
Frontinus:   Stratagems  and  Aqueducts.     C.  E.  Bennett  and 

M.  B.  McElwain. 
Fronto  :   Correspondence.     C.  R.  Haines.     2  Vols. 
Gellius,  J.  C.  Rolfe.     3  Vols. 
Horace:   Odes  and  Epodes.     C.  E.  Bennett. 
Horace:   Satires,  Epistles,  Ars  Poetica.     H.  R.  Fairclough. 
Jerome:   Selected  Letters.     F.  A.  Wright. 
Juvenal  and  Persius.     G.  G.  Ramsay. 
LiVY.     B.  O.  Foster,  F.  G.  Moore,  Evan  T.  Sage,  and  A.  C. 

Schlesinger  and  R.  M.  Geer  (General  Index).      14  Vols. 
LucAN.     J.  D.  Duff. 

Lucretius.     W.  H.  D.  Rouse.     Revised  by  M.  F.  Smith. 
Manilius.     G.  p.  Goold. 
Martial.     W.  C.  A.  Ker.     2  Vols. 
Minor   Latin   Poets:     from   Publilius   Sybus   to   Rutilius 

Namatianus,    including    Grattius,    Calpurnius    Siculus, 

Nemesianus,   Avianus,   and   others  with    "Aetna"   and   the 

"Phoenix."     J.  Wight  Duff  and  Arnold  M.  Duff. 
Ovid  :   The  Art  of  Love  and  Other  Poems.     J.  H.  Mosley. 

Revised  by  G.  P.  Goold. 
Ovid  :   Fasti.     Sir  James  G.  Frazer. 
2 


Ovid:  Heboides  and  Amobbs.     Grant  Show«inan.     Revised 

by  G.  P.  Goold 
Ovid  :  Metamorphoses.     F.  J.  Miller.     2  Vols.     Vol.  1  revised 

by  G.  P.  Goold. 
Ovid  :   Tbistia  and  Ex  Ponto.     A.  L.  Wheeler. 
Pebsius.     Cf.  JtrVENAL. 
Petbonius.       M.  Heseltine;       Seneca;       Apocolocyntosis. 

W.  H.  D.  Rouse. 
Phaedbus  and  Babbitts  (Greek).     B.  E.  Perry. 
Plautus.     Paul  Nixon.     5  Vols. 

Puny:   Lettebs,  Panegybicus.     Betty  Radice.     2  Vols. 
Puny:  Natubal Histoey.     Vols.  I.-V.  andlX.     H.Rackham. 

VI.-VIII.     W.  H.  S.  Jones.     X.     D.  E.  Eichholz.     10  Vols. 
Pbopebtius.     H.  E.  Butler. 
Pbudentius.     H.  J.  Thomson.     2  Vols. 
QuiNTiUAN.     H.  E.  Butler.     4  Vols. 
Remains  of  Ou)  Latin.     E.  H.  Warmington.     4  Vols.     Vol.  I. 

(Ennius    and    Caeciuus.)     Vol.     II.     (Livixjs,    Naeatius, 

Pacuvics,  Accius.)     Vol.  III.     (Luciuus  and  Laws  of  XII 

Tables.)     Vol.  IV.     (Aechaic  Inscbiptions.) 
Saixust.     J.  C.  Rolfe. 

ScBiPTORES  Historiae  Augustae.     D.  Magie.     3  Vols. 
Seneca,     The     Eldeb:      Contbovebsiae,     Suasobiae.     M. 

Winterbottom.     2  Vols. 
Seneca:  Apocolocyntosis.     Cf.  Petbonixjs. 
Seneca:   Epistulae  Mobales.     R.  M.  Gummere.     3  Vols. 
Seneca:   Mobal  Essays.     J.  W.  Basore.     3  Vols. 
Seneca:   Tbagedies.     F.  J.  Miller.     2  Vols. 
Seneca:   Natubales  Quaestiones.     T.  H.  Corcoran.     2  Vols. 
SiDONiL^s:   Poems  and  Lettebs.     W.B.Anderson.     2  Vols. 
Siuus  Itaucus.     J.  D.  Duff.     2  Vols. 
Statius.     J.  H.  Mozley.     2  Vols. 
Suetonius.     J.  C.  Rolfe.     2  Vols. 
Tacitus:      Dialogus.     Sir    Wm.    Peterson.     Agbicola    and 

Gebmania.     Maurice  Hutton.     Revised  by  M.  Winterbottom, 

R.  M.  Ogilvie,  E.  H.  Warmington. 
Tacitus  :  Histobies  and  Annals.     C.  H.  Moore  and  J.  Jackson. 

4  Vols. 
Terence.     John  Sargeaunt.     2  Vols. 
Tebtuluan:    Apologia  and  De  Spectacuxis.     T.  R.  Glover. 

MiNUcius  Feux.     G.  H.  Rendall. 
Valebiu's  Flaccus.     J.  H.  Mozley. 
Vabbo:  De  Lingua  Latina.     R.  G.  Kent.     2  Vols. 
Velleius  Patebculus  and  Res  Gestae  Divi  Augusti.     F.  W. 

Shipley. 
ViBGiL.     H.  R.  Fairclough.     2  Vols. 
ViTRTJVius :   De  ABCHrrECTUBA.     F.  Granger.     2  Vols. 
3 


Greek  Authors 

Achilles  Tatius.     S.  Gaselee. 

Aelian:  On  the  Nature  of  Animals.  A.  F.  Scholfield.  3 
Vols. 

Aeneas  Tacticus,  Asclepiodotus  and  Onasandek.  The 
Illinois  Greek  Club. 

Aeschines.     C.  D.  Adams. 

Aeschylus.     H.  Weir  Smyth.     2  Vols. 

Alciphron,  Aelian,  Philostratus  :  Letters.  A.  R.  Benner 
and  F.  H.  Fobes. 

Andocides,  Antiphon,  Cf.  Minor  Attic  Orators. 

Apollodorus.     Sir  James  G.  Frazer.     2  Vols. 

Apollonius  Rhodius.     R.  C.  Seaton. 

The  Apostolic  Fathers.     Kirsopp  Lake.     2  Vols. 

Appian  :   Roman  History.     Horace  White.     4  Vols. 

Aratus.     Cf.  Callimachus. 

Aristides:    Orations.     C.  A.  Behr.     Vol.  I. 

Aristophanes.    Benjamin  Bickley  Rogers.    3  Vols.    Verse  trans. 

Aristotle:   Art  of  Rhetoric.     J.  H.  Freese. 

Aristotle:  Athenian  Constitution,  Eudemian  Ethics, 
Vices  and  Virtues.     H.  Rackham. 

Aristotle:   Generation  of  Animals.     A.  L.  Peck. 

Aristotle:   Historia  Animalium.     A.  L.  Peck.     Vols  I.-II. 

Aristotle:    Metaphysics.     H.  Tredennick.     2  Vols. 

Aristotle:    Meteorologica.     H.  D.  P.  Lee. 

Aristotle:  Minor  Works.  W.  S.  Hett.  On  Colours,  On 
Things  Heard,  On  Physiognomies,  On  Plants,  On  Marvellous 
Things  Heard,  Mechanical  Problems,  On  Indivisible  Lines, 
On  Situations  and  Names  of  Winds,  On  Melissus,  Xenophanes, 
and  Gorgias. 

Aristotle:    Nicomachean  Ethics.     H.  Rackham. 

Aristotle:  Oeconomica  and  Magna  Moralia.  G.  C.  Arm- 
strong; (with  Metaphysics,  Vol.  II.). 

Aristotle:   On  the  Heavens.     W.  K.  C.  Guthrie. 

Aristotle:  On  the  Soul.  Parva  Naturalia.  On  Breath. 
W.  S.  Hett. 

Aristotle:  Categories,  On  Interpretation,  Prior  Analy- 
tics.    H.  P.  Cooke  and  H.  Tredennick. 

Aristotle:  Posterior  Analytics,  Topics.  H.  Tredennick 
and  E.  S.  Forster. 

Aristotle:   On  Sophistical  Refutations. 

On  Coming  to  be  and  Passing  Away,  On  the  Cosmos.     E.  S. 
Forster  and  D.  J.  Furley. 

Aristotle:    Parts  of  Animals.     A.   L.  Peck;    Motion  and 
Progression  of  Animals.     E.  S.  Forster. 
4 


Akistotle:  Physics.     Rev.  P.  VVickateed  and  F.  M.  Comford. 

2  Vols. 
AkistotIxE:     Poetics    and    Lonoinus.     W.    Hamilton    Fyfe; 

Demettbius  on  Style.     W.  Rhys  Roberts. 
.\ristotle:   Politics.     H.  Rackham. 
Akistotle  :   Problems.     W.  S.  Hett.     2  Vols. 
.■\ristotle  :     Rhetobica   Ad   Alexandrum   (with   Problems. 

Vol.  ri).   H.  Rackham. 
Abbian:  History  of  Alexandeb  and  Indica.  2  Vols.  Vol.  I. 

P,  Brunt.  Vol.  II.  Rev.  E.  Iliffe  Robson. 
.\thenaeus:   Deipnosophistae.     C.  B.  Gulick.     7  Vols. 
Babbitjs  and  Phaedbus  (Latin).     B.  E.  Perry. 
St.  Basil:    Lettters.     R.  J.  Deferrair.     4  Vols. 
Callimachus  :  Fragments.     C.  .A.  Trypanis.     Musaeus:  Hebo 

AND  Leandeb.     T.  Gelzer  and  C.  Whitman. 
Callimachtjs,  Hymns  and  Epigrams,  and  Lycophbon.     A.  W. 

Mair;   Abatus.     G.  R.  Mair. 
Clejcent  of  Alexandbia.     Rev.  G.  W.  Butterworth. 

COLLUTHUS.       Cf.  OpPIAN. 

Daphnis  and  Chloe.  Thomley's  Translation  revised  by 
J.  M.  Edmonds:   and  Pabthenius.     S.  Graaelee. 

Demosthenes  I.:  Olynthiacs,  Philippics  and  Minob  Ora- 
tions.    I.-XVII.  AND  XX.     J.  H.  Vince. 

Demosthenes  II.:  De  Cobona  and  De  Falsa  Legatione. 
C.  A.  Vince  and  J.  H.  Vince. 

Demosthenes  III.:  Meidias,  Andbotion,  Abistocbates, 
TiMOCBATEs  and  Abistogeiton,  I.  and  II.     J.  H.  Vince. 

Demosthenes  IV.-VI.  :  Pbivate  Obations  and  In  Xeaebam. 
A.  T.  Murray. 

Demosthenes  VII :  Funebal  Speech,  Ebotic  Essay,  Exobdia 
and  Letttebs.     N.  \V.  and  X.  J.  DeWitt. 

Dio  Cassius  :   Roman  Histoby.     E.  Gary.     9  Vols. 

Dio Chbysostom.     J.  W.CohoonandH.LamarCrosby.     5Vols. 

DiODOBCs  SicL-LUs.  12  Vols.  Vols.  I.-VI.  C.  H.  Oldfather. 
Vol.  VII.  C.  L.  Sherman.  Vol.  VIII.  C.  B.  Welles.  Vols. 
IX.  and  X.  R.  M.  Geer.  Vol.  XI.  F.  Walton.  Vol.  XII. 
F.  Walton.     General  Index.     R.  M.  Geer. 

Diogenes  Laebtius.  R.  D.  Hicks.  2  Vols.  Xew  Introduc- 
tion by  H.  S.  Long. 

DiONYsius  of  Halicabnasscs  :  Roman  ANTiQLnnES.  Spel- 
man's  trsmslation  revised  by  E.  Gary.     7  Vols. 

DiONYsius  OF  Halicabnassus  :  CluncAL  Essays.  S.  Usher. 
2  VoU. 

Epictbttus.     W.  a.  Oldfather.     2  Vols. 

EuBiPiDEs.     A.  S.  Way.     4  Vols.     Verse  trans. 

Eusebius:  Ecclesiastical  Histoby.  Kirsopp  Lake  and 
J.  E.  L.  Oulton.     2  Vols. 


Galen:   On  the  Natural  Faculties.     A.  J.  Brock. 

The  Greek  Anthology.     \V.  R.  Paton.     5  Vols. 

Greek  Elegy  and  Iambus  with  the  Anacbeontea.     J.  M. 

Edmonds.     2  Vols. 
The  Greek  Bucolic  Poets  (Theocritus,  Bion,  Moschus). 

J.  M.  Edmonds. 
Greek  Mathematical  Works.     Ivor  Thomas.     2  Vols. 
Herodes.     Cf.  Theophrastus  :  Characters. 
Herodian.     C.  R.  Whittaker.     2  Vols. 
Herodotus.     A.  t).  Godley.     4  Vols. 

Hesiod  and  The  Homeric  Hymns.     H.  G.  Evelyn  White. 
Hippocrates  and  the  Fragments  of  Heracleitus.     VV'.  H.  S. 

Jones  and  E.  T.  Withington.     4  Vols. 
Homer:   Iliad.     A.  T.  Murray.     2  Vols. 
Homer:    Odyssey.     A.  T.  Murray.     2  Vols. 
IsAEUS.     E.  W.  Forster. 

Isocrates.     George  Norlin  and  LaRue  Van  Hook.     3  Vols. 
[St.  John  Damascene]:    Barlaam  and  Ioasaph.     Rev.  G.  R. 

Woodward,  Harold  Mattingly  and  D.  M.  Lang. 
JosEPHUs.        9   Vols.     Vols.    I.-IV.     H.   Thackeray.     Vol.   V. 

H.  Thackeray  and  R.  Marcus.     Vols.  VI.-VII.     R.  Marcus. 

Vol.  VIII.     R.  Marcus  and  Allen  Wikgren.     Vol.  IX.     L.  H. 

Feldman. 
Julian.     Wilmer  Cave  Wright.     3  Vols. 
LiBANius.     A.  F.  Norman.     Vols.  I.-II. 
LuciAN.     8  Vols.     Vols.  I.-V.     A.  M.  Harmon.     Vol.  VI.     K. 

Kilburn.     Vols.  VII.-VIII.     M.  D.  Macleod. 
Lycophron.     Cf.  Callimachus. 
Lyra  Graeca.     J.  M.  Edmonds.     3  Vols. 
Lysias.     W.  R.  M.  Lamb. 
Manetho.     W.  G.  Waddell:    Ptolemy:    Tetrabiblos.     F.  E. 

Robbins. 
Marcus  Aurelius.     C.  R.  Haines. 
Menander.  I  New  edition  by  W.  G.  Arnott. 
Minor    Attic    Or.\tors    (Antiphon,    Andocides,    Lycubous, 

Demades,  Dinarchus,  Hyperides).     K.  J.  Maidment  and 

J.  O.  Burtt.     2  Vols. 
MusAEus :  Hero  and  Leander.     Cf.  Callimachus. 
NoNNOs:   DiONYSiACA.     W.  H.  D.  Rouse.     3  Vols. 
Oppian,  Colluthus,  Tryphiodorus.     a.  W.  Mair. 
Papyri;     Non-Literary  Selections.     A.  S.  Hunt  and  C.  C. 

Edgar.     2  Vols.    Literary  Selections  (Poetry).     D.L.Page. 
Parthenius.     Cf.  Daphnis  and  Chloe. 
Pausanias:    Description   of  Greece.     W.   H.  S.   Jones.     4 

Vols,  and  Companion  Vol.  arranged  by  R.  E.  Wycherley. 
6 


Phiix).     10  Vols.     Vols.  I.-V.     F.  H.  Colson  and  Rev.  G.  H. 

Whitaker.     Vols.  VI.-IX.     F.  H.  Colson.     Vol.  X.     F.  H. 

Colson  and  the  Rev.  J.  \V.  Earp. 
Philo:    two  supplementary  V^ola.     {Translation  only.)     Ralph 

Marcus. 
PHiLOSTBATrs :    The  Life  OF  ApOIiONIUS  OF  Tyana.     F.  C. 

Conybeare.     2  Vols. 
Philostbatus :   Imagines;  Calustbatus:  Dkscbiptions.     A. 

Fairbanks. 
Philostbatus  and  Eunapius:    Lives  of  the  Sophists.     Wil- 

mer  Cave  Wright. 
PiNDAB.     Sir  J.  E.  Sandys. 
Plato:    Chabjcides,  Alcibiades,  Hippabchus,  The  Lovebs, 

Theages,  Minos  and  Epixomis.     \V.  R.  M.  Lamb. 
Plato:    Cbatylus,   Pabmexides,  Gbeateb  Hippias,  Lesseb 

HippiAS.     H.  X.  Fowler. 
Plato:    Extthvphbo,   .\pology,  Cbito,   Phaedo,   Phaedbxjs, 

H.  X.  Fowler. 
Plato:  Laches,  Pbotagoras,  Meno,  Euthydemus.     W.  R.  M. 

Lamb. 
Plato:   Laws.     Rev.  R.  G.  Bury.     2  Vols. 
Plato:   Lysis,  Symposium,  Gobgias.     W.  R.~M.  Lamb. 
Plato  :   Republic.     Paul  Shorey.     2  Vols. 
Plato:  Statesman,  Philebus.     H.  X.  Fowler;  Ion.     W.  R.  M. 

Lamb. 
Plato:   Theaetetus  and  Sophist.     H.  X.  Fowler. 
Plato  :  Timaeus,  Cbitias,  Clitopho,  Menexesus,  Episthlae. 

Rev.  R.  G.  Bury. 
PLOTLNtrs:  A.  H.  Armstrong.     Vols.  I.— III. 
Plutabch:    Mobalia.     17  Vols.     Vols.  I.-V.     F.  C.  Babbitt. 

Vol.  VI.     W.  C.  Helmbold.     VoU.  VII.  and  XIV.     P.  H.  De 

Lacy  and  B.  Einarson.     Vol.  VIII.     P.  A.  Clement  and  H.  B. 

Hoffleit.     Vol.  IX.     E.  L.  Minar,  Jr.,  F.  H.  Sandbach.  \V.  C. 

Helmbold.     Vol.  X.     H.  X.  Fowler.     Vol.  XI.     L.  Pearson 

and  F.  H.  Sandbach.     Vol.  XII.     H.  Chemiss  and  \V.  C. 

Helmbold.     Vol.  XIII  1-2.     H.  Chemiss.      Vol.  XV.     F.  H. 

Sandbach. 
Plutabch  :  The  Paballel  Lives.     B.  Perrin.     11  Vols. 
PoLYBius.     W.  R.  Paton.     6  Vols. 

Pbocopius  :  HiSTOBY  OF  THE  Wabs.     H.  B.  Dewing.     7  Vols. 
Ptolemy:   Tetbabiblos.     Cf.  Masetho. 
QuiNTUS  Smybxaeus.     a.  S.  Way.     Verse  trans. 
Sextus  Empibicus.     Rev.  R.  G.  Bury.     4  Vols. 
Sophocles.     F.  Storr.     2  Vols.     Verse  trans. 
Stbabo:  Geogbaphy.     Horace  L.  Jones.     8  Vols. 
Theophbastus  :     Chabactebs.     J.  M.   Eklmonds.     Hebodes, 

etc.     A.  D.  Knox. 

7 


Theophbastus  :  Enquiry  into  Plants.  Sir  Arthur  Hort, 
Bart.     2  Vols. 

Theophrastus  :  De  Causis  Plantarum.  G.  K.  K.  Link  and 
B.  Einarson.     3  Vols.     Vol.  I. 

Thucydides.     C.  F.  Smith.     4  Vols. 

Tryphiodorus.     Cf.  Oppian. 

Xenophon:   Cyropaedia.     Walter  Miller.     2  Vols. 

Xenophon  :   Hellencia.     C.  L.  Brownson.     2  Vols. 

Xenophon:   Anabasis.     C.  L.  Brownson. 

Xenophon  :  Memorabilia  and  Oeconomicus.  E.  C.  Marchant. 
Symposium  and  Apology.     O.  J.  Todd. 

Xenophon:  Scripta  Minora.  E.  C.  Marchant.  Constitu- 
tion OF  THE  ATHENIANS.     G.  W.  Bowersock 


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